Dumper Emotions Cycle (Podcast 660)

If you're a dumpee and want to try to get your ex back after a breakup, then you need to know the dumper timeline. Today's podcast discusses the likely dumper emotions and how they cycle round.
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[@vincentbos]

'GET YOUR EX BACK' Advice & Support www.dateme.tips/

[@shaybj5849]

Explains so much for me. However, I don’t want my ex back! Thank you!

[@themanman165]

When you were broken up with they say the person that broke up with you is not traveling the world that’s all in your head they r probably barely functioning, but you know what the funny part is? My girlfriend or my ex girlfriend is a flight attendant for Qatar Airways so she is literally traveling the world for her job going to new places😅

[@womanhoodisnotacostume7648]

Damn I shouldn't laugh 🤣

[@spiritualrituals9603]

Hi Vincent. I know every breakup is different and every relationship is different. But we really need a video explaining these dumper stages such as "Relief, anxiety, guilt, regret or remorse" stages explained briefly. I know that we cannot exactly know how long each stage lasts for every individual, but it would be a nice video giving us an insight to understand them in a rough phase. For instance, how long does the relief stage last usually? Some say a couple of weeks while some say a couple of months... but no one explains it deep. Would be grateful if you could do a video on dumper stages explained in depth.

[@CeltonBH3d]

In my view, the lenght of the relationship plays a big role on the relief stage. I'm 60, from Brazil. I don't believe in a 5 or 6 months relief stage. 2 years at least. But I don't accept back someone who dumped me with no specific reason (I hope you are understanding my english).

[@SFragger100]

Yeah ...five months since the breakup. Somehow I always manage to screw up NC every 4-5 weeks then I get superpissed at myself. I've worked a lot on myself in these months - hit the gym, lost 30kgs, picked up CBT courses, re-entered competitive sports again, restarted an evening academic course I had stopped during the pandemic... ....but damn I always manage to screw up NC every 4-5 weeks, only to end up superpissed at myself. Is it possible to salvage such a situation if you kept sporadic contact for four months and she just ghosted you at this point?

[@robinholt4288]

This pretty much sums my situation up

[@johnrevelation37]

You guys helped me realize how pathetic I am. Walk away to help restore the power balance. Be willing to walk away forever. Don't chase.

[@SFragger100]

@@johnrevelation37 yep. After my last reachout a few weeks ago, I got so pissed with myself, I've turned up all exercises I've been doing twenty notches

[@SFragger100]

@@robinholt4288 quite a few of us in this boat, ey?

[@sebm8075]

Delete any way of contact on your side.. give it time and see if she reaches out.. I did nc for 6 months she came back n disappeared again so back to nc

[@asmisamaze1234]

What if the breakups all my fault 😭😭 Here’s the story I’ve been so anxious and I needed constant reassurance from him And it got to the point where he was extremely stressed out about It effected his mental health as well So he thought breaking up would be best for our mental health It was partly because my mum talk about future too soon And I haven’t told my dad and chances of him accepting him seemed low But other than that I also did keep on doubting his love for me My ex was bad at communication which led me to think such way I was also equally as bad because I had a mindset of “he doesn’t text me why should I” But other than that He was much more affectionate irl And he improved his texting habits Yet my anxiety still consumed me So one day, me andmy ex had planned to go over to his place He picked me up, gave me a kiss, and then drove It was silent So I asked him if he is okay He replied “we do need to talk” I then was confused but had a feeling it was gonna be what I think Bursting out my tears. He comforted me, kissed me, I asked him to just say it and get it over and done with So I asked, “You wanted to breakup don’t you” “He said, well I didn’t want to but the anxiety and reassurance has gone to the point where it’s been affecting our mental health”he said he was sad and depressed cuz of that He also said “The past 6 months has been a wonderful time” And stuff like that After I asked him out of curiosity He said he still loves me And stated the reasons for breakup He then said dropping me home would be too painful I was crying my eyes out I gave him the necklace and bracelet he gave me for my birthday He looked like he was about to cry But he didn’t cry But I cried He still offered to drop me home but so did his mum His mum dropped me off It’s been six months he still hasn’t reached out. About a month after breakup I uninstalled my messanger and it’s still uninstalled. Seems like he doesn’t even care

[@nova12332]

Same. My anxiety caused me to be insecure and said somethings and acted a little controlling. She didnt like that and broke it off with me. I begged and pleaded and did grand gestures which I knew not to do.. I keep reaching back out. No im in NC. Hopefully all the things he talk about in his videos about NC dumper do come true.

[@Pokerface-xp2fi]

it's normal for us dumpee for being anxious,insecure etc and we can say somethinf that is beyond of our control we can sometime bad mouth them especially we are attach on them so much. Don't blame yourself you love them more than you love yourself😢 . it's not too late to start a new life with yourself , forgive yourself take a new journey and bring all this pain,heartbreak a lesson in life ! so if your ex back you can change for them and they can change for you remember love is lovelier a second time around. and if our ex don't comeback , you can take this lesson for new one's that would come our way

[@Pokerface-xp2fi]

we cannot make the same mistake again.. i'm a dumpee ive been begging pleading for almost 1.5 months , but i learn the hardway ,that the main problem is not in ours , yes we contribute something about the breakup but it's not almost our fault , let the time takes the reflection to our dumper for all the wrong doing that theyve done to us.. I'm anxious style and my ex is avoidant! we had child so the first thing comes to my mind when the break up is done is to fix things as soon as possible because who wants to have a broken family , i don't think anyone would want that.. so first things first to a dumpee mindset is clear things,secure thing, fix things.. and i don't blame myself from doing all of that because im a mother and i am a family oriented person, so what comes to my mind is even i lost myself i dont wanna loose my family..

[@Pokerface-xp2fi]

it's not your fault, ive been there same as yours at first he didn't want break up and i feel it but inside of me saying theres something wrong inside of him. that i felt like he is just forcing himself to make all things make right..so im very anxious i want assurance i came to my point that i was being nagger and anxious because o felt we are not the same as before.. until the break up done begging for months and half.. then i have to walk away its not my fault nor as you its not your fault you just love him very much .. do you believe in saying, action speaks louder than word? the word is there but the action is not there anymore . even he is not saying it to your face that they value less the action is clear that whats your heart feeling it,