Eating Disorder Recovery as An Athlete || My Personal Experience & Tips

[@noel8537]

"If the eating disorder hates it, that probably means it's good." Bruh. So. True.

[@Wings_nut]

Living with an eating disorder takes extraordinary fortitude; and when that energy can be circumvented in a different way, incredible things happen. You have a lot of fortitude, Allie. Make incredible things happen.

[@allie_ostrander]

I completely agree. I always try to remind myself that the power to overcome the ed is within me.

[@Wings_nut]

@@allie_ostrander :-)

[@jessicavihon-pierre7800]

I would like to add that disordered eating and behaviors can affect all body types, shapes, and sizes. ED hides itself better on some bodies than others. You don’t have to be an athlete or ‘underweight’ to have an issue and for there to be negative consequences. Be kind to yourself and those around you, you only have one amazing body for this journey. Thank you Allie for your perspective!

[@allie_ostrander]

This is SO SO true. When I went to an eating disorder treatment center, it really opened my eyes to the array of body types and sizes that can be impacted by eating disorders, and also to the different circumstances that can contribute to an ED. Being an athlete is definitely not a requirement!

[@ingridworth7812]

Great video! I've found recovery hard at times because it really did affect my performance in my sport. I've had to reconcile that I'll never be as fast as I was with an ED and that's okay; living a whole, healthy life is better than being sick & having no friends but being fast.

[@evangrip4618]

Once again, I think the value of these videos for people who haven't had ED is how well you do explaining things. We know it's just one person's experience and not universal, but it really helps others make an effort to empathize rather than just sympathize.

[@allie_ostrander]

Love that. empathy>sympathy for sure. As you said, my experience is just one perspective, but I think it can be informative!

[@emilybilbow4990]

I think a huge part of it is that as athletes we train ourselves to ignore our pain, hunger, tiredness… we put our end goal in front of what we feel in the moment… our teams in front of ourselves… we need to remember ourselves, love ourselves sbd nuture ourselves… we need a shift in the way we think about what makes a athlete successful… Thank you for your honesty… for admitting you struggle… for truth and rawness… you are incredibly strong, resilient and beautiful…

[@HStacey2011]

The first video I saw of yours was when you got help with recovery, your honesty and determination are why I watch you still, also your sense of humor. Your content is great and watching you grow and get so strong has been lots of fun. It's awesome you're so open to share about these kinds of things, it's not easy and takes work and dedication. You should be so proud of how far you've come. I hope you are. Thanks for sharing your story dude. TAKE CARE!

[@HStacey2011]

Also congrats on your new sponsor, and thanks for sharing how you incorporate protein powder into your diet by adding it to foods.

[@allie_ostrander]

thank you so much for the kind words :) I don't think you realize how much comments like this have kept me going throughout my recovery. There have been some really difficult times, and the support I feel through the comments and interactions I have online gets me through!

[@a_ck]

Allie what you are doing is amazing, raising awareness in such an inspiring way. I think you are truly a whole athlete.

[@allie_ostrander]

Thank you so much :)

[@karolina.321]

I cannot tell you how incredibly brave I think you are in opening up about this, and I truly believe it's having an important and positive impact on the sport. Olivia Williams was recently in a video "Running on Empty" where she also shared her journey. ❤️

[@bcrruns1085]

Well said Allie! Important work you are doing here. Many young athletes will see this and avoid eating disorders altogether. Turning one of your greatest challenges in life into a major positive.

[@joannecabello3439]

Amazing work Allie! The advice is simple and clear. What really resonated with me is how our athletic goals and training are a very convenient way to mask ED behavior and that the only way to circumvent this is to be HONEST with YOURSELF. Amen!

[@allie_ostrander]

Yes, honesty with oneself is the only way to truly recover. I believe that 100%!

[@tblan42]

You know, I've been out of highschool for 14 years now, and I didn't realize, until I started watching your videos on your ED recovery, that I had an eating disorder when I was running back then. I'm 5"5', I weighed about 120 lbs back then, and I seriously asked my mom once if I could go on dieting pills because I thought dropping the "extra" weight would make me faster. I shook that mindset when running became more of a hobby after I left highschool, but I'm now aware of some of those left over tendencies. Your videos on your ED recovery have been insightful and I appreciate you shedding a light on this topic that is so often avoided. You're helping so many future and present athletes by making them aware of ED. You're my hero, dude.

[@nathan8418]

Allie thanks for continuing to make running content it's very inspirational. Thanks from Seward!

[@wsoublo]

Oh Allie Ostrider, it’s admirable that you’re sharing your battles with ED in an effort to raise awareness and help others. Truly a selfless warrior.

[@sarahhendrickson9795]

I try and ask myself before I workout, “am I doing this out of love or out of fear” this helps me make an intentional decision on whether my behavior is ED related or not

[@allie_ostrander]

Love that mantra, I'm going to use that!

[@hannahstewart8299]

It's nice to see some advice that doesn't just suggest that you don't have to completely stop ALL training!

[@triathletebenny]

Love this. That second point on intention setting...so valuable. Combining this with someone who can hold you accountable (coach, friend, signifcant other, etc) has been hugely helpful for me.

[@abbieamavi]

you are such a light and genuinely incredible person, thank you for these videos! proud of you

[@MR-wh5wp]

Thanks for this video. What i find hard is dealing with the TRIGGERS. And there are so many of them. Examples - * Seeing other "thin" or "super lean" athletes & feeling like i need to look like that (especially on instagram) * Hearing people at work talking about calories, weight loss, etc * Seeing fitness influencers showing their abs or posing in mirrors at gyms or just going to the gym to achieve a "summer body" * Friends talking about fasting & how it improves performance * Zwift cycle racing is all about watts per kg so there is the temptation to lose weight to be faster on climbs * Commentators commenting during races on people's bodies & saying they dont have a "runners body". That makes me feel like I dont want to step up to the pro level in triathlon & have my body scrutinised. Especially when ur racing in the swimsuit style race suit * Comparing your present photos to your old photos when you were crazy lean with bulging abs. And then wanting to look like that again even though you werent healthy and had no menstrual cycle * And also worrying about what you will look like in ur race kit on race day compared to all the other female athletes and whether u will "fit in" Comments welcome below on how u deal with this...

[@eggdropdroptop9388]

Hey, I'm struggling with getting my period back (fellow endurance athlete here) and I used to be crazy lean like you but have gained some healthy weight back. How long did it take you for your cycle to return and did you have to take a break from your training? Also, I TOTALLY resonate will all of the things you just listed, wanted to let you know you're not alone:)

[@Philippadrinkstea]

Not a solution for all of these, but one of the most important things for me was to delete insta and tiktok. I have a finely tuned fb (I tell it not to show me any adverts with clothes/make up because they typically have super thin models) but nothing else. The other thing I try to focus on is 'fit not thin' and 'food as medicine'. Sending you health and strength ❤

[@allie_ostrander]

@eggdroptop9388 I struggled with this too. It took me about a year of consistently eating enough to get my cycle. Also, I find that if my stress levels are high, I can easily miss a month. So I would recommend continuing with eating enough (and consistently throughout the day is important too) and also managing stress. Training is a type of stress, so if training load is high try to manage stress outside of training and also fuel those training hours well!

[@allie_ostrander]

Hi! So I completely agree that dealing with triggers is hard. Here are some of my biggest suggestions below: *For comparison on social media: I would recommend unfollowing/muting people whose photos trigger you. If it is someone you know or admire, feel free to message them and explain the situation. It's not their fault, but you have to do what's best for you! Also, I tried to diversify my feed and follow people in different body types/sizes, which helps to remind me that the super lean bodies I see so often ARE NOT THE NORM. *hearing people talk about calories: this will always be hard, but it's also a good opportunity to challenge the mindset that calories are "bad." Knowing how many calories are in something and eating it anyway is a great way to slowly overcome the fear. Weight loss as a topic is tricky...I think the best thing to do is either remove yourself from the conversation or clearly express that it isn't a topic you feel comfortable discussing. *seeing fitness influencers/people working out for aesthetics: I personally try to not follow people who work out to achieve a certain look or manipulate their diet for aesthetic reasons. You can also remind yourself that this isn't performance related--people often talk about how their strength and performance in the gym drops during a cutting phase--so know that eating is good for performance! *People talking about fasting: this is so so common these days...but the (small) benefits that you could reap from that will never be worth the risk. Fasting means skipping meals, and skipping meals is triggering for individuals with an ED or DE past. Additionally, this can inhibit within-day-energy-availability which is super important for mitigating injury risk and maintaining normal hormone levels. *Zwift: people ask me why I don't like Zwift...this is one of the reasons! I would say, just set a "kg" amount and tell yourself you'll never change it. So that takes away the motive for wanting to manipulate your weight. *Commentators: this is so frustrating. It's so common in endurance sports, and it's clearly a sign of a lack of knowledge...if the commentators can't think of anything else to talk about other than people's bodies, they clearly have not done their job. I understand why this is triggering and might hold you back from wanting to be on that pro line, but also know that you never have to watch the replay, listen to what they say, or give those words power. Them scrutinizing athletes on the line is a reflection of their own insecurities, it does not need to be absorbed by you. *Comparing old photos: this is so tough. I do everything I can to not see them, but when I do see them I have a couple tricks. First, I try to remember my mental state--how was I feeling, was I happy, could I sleep, did I socialize, etc. (usually the answer to all of these is no). Second, I remind myself of what I had to do to maintain that body, how unhealthy it was, and how miserable that was. *Race day comparisons: the reality is that you don't get a spot on the start line for being lean. You get a spot because of your athletic performance. You fit in because you're an athlete. Step to that line knowing you deserve to be there and that your body is simply the vessel in which you are able to compete. I hope this helps!

[@eggdropdroptop9388]

@@allie_ostrander Thank you so much. As a senior in high school committed to swim for a D-1 college, the last thing I want is to have to give up my sport. Your videos/content have really helped me stay dedicated and keep myself accountable for recovering from RED-S/ an ED. You're truly an inspiration to me and I commend you for all your hard work:) Sending love

[@restlesssouls1149]

I have a niece who was pressured by her dad. She got a track scholarship to a New York University. She was down to eating 3 ALMONDS each day !! She got help and is doing extremely well. Everytime you examine yourself and what you go through I think of her. Thank you Allie for your incredible insight and recommendations! You are one blessing after another!!

[@aliciafenner3098]

Such a powerful video Allie I can't tell you how inspiring you are :) You are such a strong person and you have come so far and I am so proud of you :) I know this is a piece of advice that many people have heard but I try to use it for myself everyday to help me not relapse Your body is like a car if you don't put fuel in your tank then it won't function correctly, and if you don't put gas in your car then it won't start. I have to constantly tell myself this over and over again. Keep up the awesome work!!! much love

[@Natronwasserglas]

All of this is such good advice and a lot of stuff I am figuring out these days too as I am getting more and more into sports (for fun, not for a living). One thing that is also helping me is really actively and mindfully enjoying my activities - running especially but also fun bike rides outside. If I focus on the nature and how nice it feels to run and how happy I am that I get to do this then that helps me shut out the brain voices and I just stay in the joyful zone instead of slipping into unhealthy thoughts. Doesn't work every time of course but its something I really try to focus on to shift my thought patterns around exercise :)

[@debrascott8775]

Thank you Allie for continuing to share about ED recovery. These tips are so clearly outlined, reality based and helpful.

[@leniolesch896]

Allie you are amazing. There’s a lot a talk about ED in endurance sports recently, but you really share and are vulnerable. That’s great.

[@smiks83]

Thanks for this, Allie. For me recovery is also about coming to terms with the circumstances that made me turn to disordered eating - and made it possible te continue with it. It can be painful to see that parents and other adults around us failed us, especially if we do come from “good” families. It isn’t about blaming anyone. But understanding the roots of that real emptiness a person can feel and the lack of care for this (amazing!) body that we have is a slower process than the “eating” part of the ED. We all have to know that our true value is not related to any goal, any effort, any intention even. ❤ all the best, and to everyone going through this too.

[@allie_ostrander]

This topic is the core reason why I started journaling. I wanted to move past the feeling of being a victim to my ed, or the people who let me down, and start to gain back power over my life.

[@Joeysub4]

Thank you for sharing your story. It helps to see that we aren't alone in the fight of running and ED at the same time. I struggled with an eating disorder in my first two years of college and i just wanted to say tha it helps a lot to hear this. Thank you Allie.

[@markrimelspach7041]

So much great information. By sharing your story and thoughts, you are helping so many people. You should be very very proud of your path to recovery.

[@janecunningham8665]

I really appreciate how practical and clear these tips are, and how you keep returning to checking intention. Thank you so much for sharing Allie, and best wishes on your recovery.

[@allie_ostrander]

Yes, intention is so important! At the root of it, almost any behavior can be healthy as long the intentions are in the right place.

[@seatownfan]

Allie, I admire your perseverance in overcoming obstacles. OK, that is true in life and on the track. 😉 I enjoy watching you grow and develop into a trail/ road runner too. Thanks for always being TRANSPARENT in all that you do 😜. I couldn’t resist. I look forward to many new videos 😊 from you.

[@paddycunningham6834]

Thanks Allie, very well said👍 and hope you are doing well yourself, thank you

[@randylazer2894]

Wonderfully shared. I know that many runners and other athletes who are going through some of what you have experienced, that your great insight and advice will be of great benefit to so many. BTW.....when somebody has two hydration bottles on their nightstand (see background of video)....they just might be a professional athlete!

[@beckyweum7985]

That was beautifully said, very true and meaningful.

[@kevinmshea58]

Your education videos are always appreciated. I have never had an eating disorder but your common sense alive and tips can help so many people. One question though, have you made an announcement on who is coaching you or is that not public knowledge? Thanks again and good luck in your championship race.

[@allyson--]

You are so wise! I really liked the flow charts you made. Thanks for giving ppl tools to overcome disordered eating/thoughts.

[@allie_ostrander]

Thank you! I hope that it's helpful.

[@AprilHopeWareham]

@@allie_ostrander I literally screenshotted these for myself for future. Thank you!

[@smscraig]

Excellent advice!

[@bluenetmarketing]

Allie - Might be good to get in touch with the runner #1083 (maybe #1082) at the end of the Nuttycomby race last weekend. She falls at 28:04 in the following video. I'm thinking she could use some more meat on her bones, like what you are talking about. She collapsed at the end of the race. Looks a little thin. But what do I know? "Course Record Falls In Women's Race at Nuttycombe Invite - Full Replay"

[@CBfballfan]

from an outsider, non-runner perception... LD Track = thin, fast, greyhound, Trail = strong, endurance, thoroughbred. Is there a different expectation within each community for the elite athlete in regards to the pressure of maintaining a certain body type, and if so, does this help in your recovery as you begin your trail series endeavor?

[@user-bi2dp3pj7q]

Truly appreciate you

[@diktromdefilm]

Great tips!!❤

[@laurenroffey6077]

Hi Allie. I can relate so much to you. Just curious if your coaches or ED recovery team have had you track your blood sugar levels. I feel like having had an ED and overexercsiing has created some insulin resistance in body and curious if others have experienced this.

[@cosminbryant1243]

Hey sweet that you run I was just getting into running myself a few years ago after my lupus attack right now I run pretty efficient i’am able to do 10 k in under 45 minutes so 44:52 minutes about an hour in I usually do 14 to 21 kilometres extra in on the treadmill I don’t yet have a running buddy 😂

[@MNP208]

I just feel better when I run in the morning on one Honey Stinger waffle and eat breakfast afterwards. Is this wrong? Obviously I wouldn't do this for a really long run.

[@allie_ostrander]

No, I think that’s totally fine! I do the same sort of thing. I just think it’s important to eat something before activity, especially if you have a history of restriction.

[@oliviadoane5758]

You fucking ROCK Allie

[@erinhoril7217]

the good thing is research supports NOT doing fasted training especially for women (:

[@laurenmillyx]

Did you at any point have to take a complete step away from training/exercise during your recovery?

[@louettakeene3573]

Excellent stuff. But you know that.

[@racheldeller4972]

How many grams of protein do you try to eat daily? Just curious.

[@allie_ostrander]

I don’t track any macros or calories, so I don’t have a target. I just try to include a solid protein source at all of my meals.

[@igoretski]

Wow. I wish I was that wise and grown-up, when I was your age.

[@allie_ostrander]

haha I certainly have my immature moments! e.g. when I rely on my mom to make my dental appointments...

[@igoretski]

@@allie_ostrander KZbin has caught on our subject and just proposed me a vid about "how to be more mature". In essence don't blame, brag, bicker or b****. Hahaha

[@jakobwakonig8413]

Your ED thoughts are they same like my thoughts. Try to copy your new mindset and use your tips!

[@visionaryq4356]

Bruh 18s after upload

[@allie_ostrander]

you are a shining star.

[@sharonb537]

@@allie_ostrander haha, this made me laugh out loud

[@leslie7922]

Early

[@greatwhitenorthlife2327]

I feel for you folks with eating disorders, I wish I could do a half trade with someone.. you know... you could be half-fat and I could be half skinny! Lol. Seriously though, I understand the mental struggle, I'm just on the opposite end of the spectrum.

[@TT-fn1xb]

Be careful what you wish for. I wouldn’t wish an ED or even elements of it on my worst enemy.

[@greatwhitenorthlife2327]

@@TT-fn1xb I hear ya. It's not a good deal either way. Being "okay" fully mentally and physically simultaneously is such a hard thing to do!

[@andrewrivera4029]

Hay Allie be conscious of your glucose and insulin levels, pre diabetes or metabolic syndrome could be contributing to your ED. I know you are young and fit but all the ultra high processed carbs, frequent meals makes this a danger to everyone. Good luck.