Educating kids about gender norms | Elvin Pedersen-Nielsen | TEDxCopenhagenSalon

[@scottcozad800]

I really like the description of "standing on a table". Very powerful.

[@heyimpandaaaa2570]

"You can't fuck up being yourself, but you can get really fucked up trying to be normal" I love it

[@nataliaortizhazarian8163]

Elvin, this is one of the most touching videos I've seen about "gender social norms". Congratulations for you high level of discernment (despite your apparent young age) and thank you for sharing. :)

[@elizabethrose3988]

Agreed

[@twslug]

"when you step out of 'normal', you face trouble" my favorite part.

[@ernestmac13]

This speaker's speech is so very true. Kids who are highly intelligent and love reading and learning, kids who are Nerds/Geeks, kids who like drama classes, band, and countless other classes and subjects not viewed as the norm, are often targets for, harassment, bullying, etc, not just by classmates, but some times by teachers. There have been cases where, a student who happens to be, atheist, homosexual, or non-Christian, have been told by a teacher or other staff person that, they will burn in hell, have been singled out and punished unfairly. As the speaker points out, we all have our own tables, and learning to except each other's differences will enable our society to be, more peaceful, more cooperative, and much happier. So, whether the person next to you is, tall, short, fat, skinny, smart, not so smart, a jock, a nerd, Strait, Homosexual, fits into one of the stereotypical genders or not, be kind and understanding to one another.

[@makaroshka6680]

One of the most powerful TED talks I've ever watched. Almost made Me cry. Thank You for this.

[@miracleshappen4483]

Veyr well said. I often think of humanity as a field of flowers, each flower is different in terms of shape, color and other details. Each flower is beautiful because it is unique. Now, are we brave enough to embrace are unicity or do we prefer to hide behind a false wall of illusions defined as normality? I totally agree with you the word normal should be erased from our dictionary.

[@daniellalazzeri9832]

Elvin, I absolutely love your talk and it's powerful and universal loving message. And the clarity, honesty, courage and kindness you spoke with. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing this.

[@kylacecilialoves]

Elvin, you are so young and so brave and are held so highly in my mind for this talk.

[@VictoriaPiruleta]

The best gender speech I've never ear!! Everyone has a table and it's so important to see that. If you help people been there, they will help you to be in your own

[@tess7798]

Wow. I am humbled by your insight, knowledge, bravery, and yes... your presentation skills. Phenomenal!

[@spicerat8433]

this is my favorite tedx talk yet

[@whydidntithinkofthat2467]

omg I see you everywhere

[@elizabethrose3988]

Same

[@diaper181]

Very Powerful lecture indeed. Really hit close to home. Thank you!

[@robbrent]

Elvin is one fine young man and very confident speaker. Best wishes to him.

[@Wolfy83]

I really enjoyed this talk. It was very thought provoking, and addressed many issues that most folks are too uncomfortable to talk about.

[@weok-doing-things]

"Let rapists and pedophiles teach our children?" - the first stupid question that we hear when someone discuss about that topic in russia. - "Of course not!" Stay away from crimes and accept the universe rules of "dont steal", "dont kill", "dont cheat" and help eachothers to live.

[@Batsand_bones]

I agree with most of what he's saying except assigning the babies sex, the family would like to know what the babies sex is not their gender, but people are raised to learn that sex and gender are the same exact thing. We may know the sex of the child but it's up for the child to find out what gender they are and what they feel most comfortable with

[@weok-doing-things]

There is a huge gap between bein' urself and hurt other people physically or mentally. Someday our society will understand this.

[@raphaelsanluis9711]

Yes .

[@weok-doing-things]

@@raphaelsanluis9711 yes! o7

[@joannemason2342]

It is pretty much asking that we treat everyone EQUALLY, regardless of what body we are born into. If there was more compassion in the world and respect, it would be a better place. Equality amongst the genders is a start

[@elizabethrose3988]

He

[@MoonBlinked13]

I love this. The table metaphor is amazing and so easy to explain. Also you are a very good speaker, I could listen to your voice all day. I am going to share this as much as possible because people need to hear this.

[@michelebriere9569]

No one needs to "come out." Straight kids don't announce their preferences, they just go about their lives. It shouldn't be any different for others. I never "came out," I just lived my life. I never made a deal about it, so neither did anyone else. I never asked permission, which is essentially what someone does when preparing for the speech. If anyone had a problem with who I found attractive, it's their problem, not mine.

[@Mykidsaresmarterthanyours]

Yes. This is key. This is one statement I can agree with fully.

[@tomasplotkin4229]

Thank you so much for this fantastic speech, Elvin! I like the way you express and articulate the different ideas using a lucid and powerful rhetoric. Love, from Argentina

[@hannahrosereviews5073]

I really like that table analogy!

[@sinikorja7834]

Thank you for this Elvin, great talk! I'm studying education in Finland and will definitely pass this video on! Hopefully we'll create a bit more open minded world some day :)

[@kobyk1534]

Elvin, You are so amazing. I loved this. It inspired me so much!!

[@bele7327]

This is one of the best explanations of gender I have ever heard of thank you for your presentation!!!!

[@carterbaldwin7494]

What a wonderful speaker

[@henriettethiim]

Thank you Elvin!

[@s.leslie7230]

What a powerful speech.

[@alexblair01]

You are an inspiration.

[@annak3134]

Elvin, I've been translating your ted-talk to my language recently. Just wanted to wish you good luck in your activism and say thank you for sharing this controversial issue with others. You are awesome!!! Ps. I've written a message to you on Facebook but you must have missed it.

[@emmawebber9438]

A brilliant session on what is considered to be normal by society.

[@Anna5151]

Love this!

[@paulallen9352]

I know she is so cute giving a speech!

[@the.unknown2428]

+Paul Allen *he is.

[@catherines6670]

This is a really great video for all types of schools and well into college campuses and workplaces -- it is a GREAT video for Ethics training ! The time has come to educate people on people who are different than the way we traditionally view others irregardless of sex, orientation, color and gender. People have to realize that not everyone fits into two boxes -- male and female. And gender is not sex. Everyone has both a sex and a gender. One is between your legs. The other is between your ears... When someone dresses differently than the norm, they are trying to tell you something. They are telling you who they really are deep down inside and we need to accept them as they are in society.

[@andreat6882]

I appreciate very much that you agree with the points made in this video and are obviously pretty well educated on this topic, but one small thing in your comment kind of bothers me. I am not trying to be rude when i say this, but please dont say something like "We have a sex and a gender, one is between our legs and the other between our ears." I do understand sometimes, for medical reasons, we have a male or female box we must be put in for our own health, but generally this everyday idea of 'sex is different than gender' is toxic. This perpetuates the boxes we are put into with gender. For example, a person may be a boy, yet they were assigned the female gender at birth. The one true reason they were assigned this gender is because of their genitalia. Remember, genetalia ≠ gender. Genetalia = sex only when used for health purposes. When someone makes a comment about the gender someone else was assigned at birth, they aren't using it for medical reasons. So to sum it up,don't bring up the sex of a person unless you're a doctor examining this person. (again, i am not trying to be rude) :)

[@andreat6882]

+Joseph S of course i am not going to stop you from saying anything you want, and i am not trying to, but i recently found out the assigned gender at birth someone has isn't even brought up that much for medical purposes. For example, a transgender female, asked their sex, will say they are a transgender female. This means now it is more important to the doctor if the girl is or was on hormones and what hormones they are, rather than their assigned gender at birth. genitals ≠ gender and genitals ≠ sex.

[@JeffMende]

Thanks Elvin for the talk. This topic resonates with me. I have been a gay man for many years and as I am older now, I want to be a kinder to man to all. Last night an older woman had a child. My coworker felt she was the granny, not mother. I made that assumption too, sadly. But lucky for me I caught the mistake and tried to repair the judgement. Today I will listen more to myself about people, and not others wrong judgements. Thanks. Jeff

[@Imthepanthom]

he is so handsome

[@jacopopeterman4703]

it is so handsome

[@mypartyyoutubization]

Sounds like u r talking to a thing by saying "It" Say Elvin instead. Say the name

[@mypartyyoutubization]

No! Elvin is handsome

[@mypartyyoutubization]

No it's not. It's a human being. It's not a thing. How stupid are you?

[@mypartyyoutubization]

Admit it. U r only telling me this because it has to do with this lgbt subject. If it was a"normal" guy or girl u wouldn't say that humans are animals. You would say that they are human beings. So u are really saying that I am a thing? I don't consider myself as a thing. So how can you say that humans are things?

[@jviddie]

FANTASTIC!

[@TheMetroman1]

Really loved this. Thank You :)

[@kathystemke9057]

Beautiful!

[@gigid.4473]

When we live in a world where the answer to "are you a boy or a girl?" is "boy and girl? what the hell are those?" I will be truly satisfied

[@Eueueyw]

That's pretty fucked up

[@markymarkali]

When you grow out of this transtrending phase, then you will be satisfied

[@the.unknown2428]

The 'is it a boy/girl/intersex' should only refer to the biological sex because of medical purposes. It has nothing to do with gender.

[@carmensanchez3179]

Great and clear explanation! I'm trying my best to give you respect and empathy!

[@catherines6670]

Prejudice is an open display of mental illness -- it is NOT a "family value" you teach your children.

[@miracleshappen4483]

I used to be angry too when I was younger than I realized that those people are very weak and terrified to discover who they are. We need to be compassionate and only by standing on tables we can show people that nobody is normal but everybody is unique.

[@nickmartin896]

So, you should understand people that are different unless their opinions are different?

[@amarimae1874]

Thank you so much, this is so inspiring and it really helped me ❤️

[@Ashleighs-here]

Great idea, Elvin! Thanks. I believe people laugh at new ideas not because they’re against it but they are trying to adjust and aren’t used to it. Sometimes may feel joy at the new ideas.

[@somewhatsocialistdoneldtre8341]

I was watching a vertasium video on nuclear weapons, fell asleep, and youtube autoplay brought me here. okay.

[@Mexighetti]

11:41 Trying to be normal is not going to make anyone happy. Why spend your life trying to fit into narrow boxes always living up to people's expectations when you could spend it being yourself? It takes a lot of work to get rid of the noise of expectations...and it takes a lifetime to keep them away. WOW YES!

[@backyardozarks]

what about boys or girls that over compensate to prove they are what is expected of there asigned gender, then later on in life, 20, 30, 40, or older, they come out to family and loved ones, but all they know is to act macho or feminine. this is my case inside i feel female out side is totally and obviously male. and its killing me, im 45 and risk losing everything.

[@jdl2180]

How do you feel female?

[@sannimarttinen8720]

Great ted talk!!

[@akshitsaini1973]

Great ted talk! ❤️❤️❤️

[@AussieGriffin]

What I liked: Once you separate gender from personality traits we get closer to having a society that has two things it prospers with: 1) Individuals, and 2) Definitions without consequences for transgressions. The first gives us respect, and the second gives us context. One without the other makes ones choices meaningless in relation to others. What I disliked: 14:26 Perhaps we could educate people again? Perhaps we should just save space and time by... oh I don't know, concentrating them into camps for this RE-education. Who doesn't like to go to camp? A.G.

[@shi_onenesslove4760]

This is a very good speech. Thank you for sharing!

[@emanuellicaselli1437]

Thanks Tedx! I learned a lot with this video today!

[@davefisher1840]

Excellent! thank you 😊

[@kendrafleming3538]

Elvin is so dreamy

[@danielewing3033]

Here is a thought, let kids be kids. There is no reason to talk kids about this before they hit puberty. This is called grooming. Teach kids to respect other people, not to bully kids that are different and, teach them to stand up for themselves! Talking to young kids about this, will take their innocence. This is Quakery and Dribble.

[@catherines6670]

So ask yourself this question -- what gender was the person who was speaking ? If you aren't sure then please watch the video again and actually pay attention to it.

[@inesiel]

+Joseph S he told it in the video; he isn't sure what gender he is, but he prefers the male pronouns. :)

[@roydm143]

+Joseph S What's gender?

[@birgerssonsaga]

I love this, this is amazing

[@jomoody798]

I think people come to these videos to spread their shit. Please, don't do it. Some of us are not as simple as you are. Some of us understand the complexity of life.

[@johannesschutz780]

I think the most of its complexity does not lie in gender.

[@galenwarren3579]

What I really like is....absolutely NOTHING of this dysphoria masquerading as a lifestyle.

[@spacewitch6667]

Love this!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡

[@TheFreshspidey]

I loved this. You're very good looking too I must say :)

[@paulallen9352]

She's super cute :)

[@mariaperalta3877]

+Paul Allen HE is super cute. Haven't you learnt a thing from his speech?

[@mrtuma123]

+Maria Peralta literally shut the fuck up lmao

[@cockycookie1]

@@paulallen9352 tfs wrong with you fella

[@ChaliceMovingXIV]

Fantastic.

[@im19ice3]

one of my favourites

[@dipmadk.b5774]

Can anyone tell about the music by the starting of this videos and the ending of this videos

[@jishwaisdunwithtyjo6356]

I feel like I'm so tall, I don't even need a table, I stand out anyways. But like actually I feel like my tables are actually not that far from the ground but standing on all of them, all of them stacked onto each other, they seem way to huge for how small each one is...

[@jacopopeterman4703]

So now when a new mother asks the doctor if it's a boy or girl the doctors everywhere should now have to reply "we won't know for quite some time".

[@dazeslays]

Jacopo Peterman Nah, doctors can still look at a baby and announce what sex it is, maybe by saying "it's a male!" or "it's a female!" and doing a more in-depth check up a little later, before the baby and mother leave the hospital. Most trans people aren't mad at doctors announcing a baby's sex, just the rigid implications that come with it. Knowing biological sex is important, especially for medical reasons.

[@ndy08]

He is good at speaking. I respect people that see him as a girl because he was born a girl but I see a boy. Good talk. I don't care what gender people are as long as you want to look like a gender.

[@noahstitchbarron784]

But, what happens if my ginger and sexuality put me on 7 tables? I DON'T HAVE THAT MANY LEGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@rachelgreer1518]

Thank you for helping me be a better sister to my non binary twin. I love them so much and although I can never fully understand I want to be a safe person who they can come to for support and to be seen as who they are.

[@theGirlPrince]

"norm-breaking identity" 🤟🏾

[@kaiyodei]

when MOGAI people invent genders like colorgender. i tend to wonder what the norm is for that

[@noahstitchbarron784]

Am I the only one who was bugged by their hoodie the entire time?

[@yquepaso7117]

it really doesnt make sense

[@Feisenbach]

Educating? You mean filling people with absurd nonsense.

[@mep6302]

Looks like someone's not educated yet (you)

[@rebecamena1504]

Smart kid well prepared, well informed..just as you prepared on this issue according to your own perspective..PREPARE YOURSELF THE SAME WAY ABOUT WHAT GOD THINKS, AND HOW HE CAN HELP YOU

[@harryg9150]

Bro what?

[@orca3413]

PANSEXUAL TRIGENDER PRIDE

[@rukiblomst4753]

Heavy danish accent

[@kisakisakura6663]

Yes, it's beautiful =)

[@karenohana8773]

I totally am against this attempt to normalise transgenderism.. note that I have a transgender in my family.. a person that I love and cherish and accept.. why then am I against? because the result is not just clothes.. its lifelong dependancy on pills.. its surgery that is non trivial and dangerous.. and irreversible.. and often this is on teens or young adults.. and guess what.. people change their minds. Before, during and after surgery there is tonnes of mental anguish.. and the person may not be happy with the results. If we were talking about annorexics.. who see themselves in a way that the rest of the world doesn't.. would we all be fawning like idiots to try to accomodate them, or would we lovingly take them to a mirror and show them reality and tell them to learn to deal with it?

[@kisakisakura6663]

When was creating a world, where it is normal to be different ever a bad idea?

[@LesterBrunt]

@@kisakisakura6663 It can't be normal to be different by definition of those words.

[@loredanaraccanello5178]

Just wondering how successful you were with that anorexic...?

[@karenohana8773]

@@loredanaraccanello5178 All is well, time, lots of love and the occasional dose of truth have restored logic and normalcy

[@loredanaraccanello5178]

Karen Ohana Really? I'm interested in how well that worked as usually anorexics battle and are never completely back to 'normal '...

[@chrisdownunder8745]

Corrupting children...

[@oswaldojr6231]

Despite the noble intentions and the moving speech, poor girl... she thinks she's a boy/a man, even looks like one. I don't know why, but sometimes Reality is the most oppressing thing that exists - even worse than bullying and unjust discrimination, which are in fact very bad things. (Sorry, Elvin, but this is MY table)

[@charlotteice5704]

What exactly is your table? Also, had you actually paid attention, you'd know that he does not think he is a man, but rather that he does not know. Pronouns do not equal gender.

[@Mentallogic15]

Why the push for homosexuality and Gender Dysphoria in schools and in Hollywood lately? I do support fighting bullying because it is indeed a danger. However, I get the impression that lately, it is only exposed if sex/gender is involved, when that is truly not the case.

[@mep6302]

Because there are still homophobes and transphobes out there who need to be cured

[@jamesgutting7128]

Gender norms such as male and female?

[@mep6302]

Those are biological sexes, not genders. Genders are man, woman

[@jamesgutting7128]

@@mep6302 amazing how they conform with male and female

[@rajaclear967]

gender is not a social construct.

[@ElroyMF1]

In what sense? Because gender is definitely a social construct in some respects.

[@mep6302]

Search how your gender was 100 or 1000 years ago. It is a social construct

[@Thraxz666]

a person entering puberty, with all the hormonal fluctuation, is NOT a good example of orientation! STOP ATTACKING THE KIDS

[@TravistheGREAT03]

Yeah such a scientific talk....not....

[@Alren-ki]

TED is not just about Science

[@jacopopeterman4703]

Nobody is "forced" to come out of the closet.

[@puddypudding9609]

Jacopo Peterman but when your laptop is broken you have to show it to a professional so he can fix it. You have to be fixed, your body does not match your mind and you cant work properly.

[@frogmouth]

yes they are .

[@markymarkali]

Awful just awful

[@julianclose6446]

Give it a rest kid. You've got more rights and protection than the rest of society. Get on with your life, no one cares what you do

[@nadianjiba7667]

In countries where gays are illegal everybody know themselves I think it's your gouvernement to be blamed for your identity whatever nonsense

[@gabrielgarcia-kg4gc]

I'm cringing right now

[@kendrafleming3538]

Elvin is so dreamy

[@kendrafleming3538]

Elvin is so dreamy