Walking Through the World Non-Binary | Jesse Lueck | TEDxRanneySchool

[@ConstanzaRigazio]

5:40 “I do not want to be a boy, but I want to be treated like one” perfectly sums up my feelings growing up. My mum used to ask me if I wanted to be a boy and this would’ve been the perfect reply if I had had the words...

[@jazzkatt1919]

Yep. I didn't always want that - I really wanted long hair, and I hated almost any team sport that involved a ball - but I hated dresses and thought dolls were boring (until I got old enough to realize that Barbies can be used as action figures!) I wanted more than anything to play hockey, and was one of the fastest, most agile skaters at our local ice rink, but no...girls were not allowed to do that. It was too dangerous. Nevermind that the girls' sport "equivalent" - broomball - was played running around on the ice in tennis shoes! No thanks. I don't think of myself as nonbinary, although I have to wonder if I might have at least entertained the notion, had I grown up a few decades later, but I am absolutely sympathetic. People should be allowed to be who they are.

[@Mel-wn9gb]

Said every girl ever. You're not unique.

[@michaelajames99]

When you say “treated like a boy” do you mean treated with respect?

[@taylorestes8146]

In my highschool band, we had different uniforms for guys and gals. My band director ALWAYS let us choose which uniform we wanted to wear. I appreciate how accepting my school was regarding gender expression.

[@mmastiff734]

What about the 26 other genders where’s their uniforms

[@codascheuer8426]

@@mmastiff734 gender is a spectrum. There is not and never will be a definite number of how many genders there are.

[@makaelaischillin]

@@codascheuer8426 I’m sorry man I’m a Demi-girl but omg there is a gender called like “a faint sparkly gender” seriously man it’s like they’re mocking us

[@derpythean-comdoge8608]

@andrea serrenti gender has been a spectrum forever. Just because you never met anyone Enbie before 2010 doesn’t mean they don’t exist

[@stariadreamtea]

Also even if people aren't trying to express a gender - some women just want to wear pants because they are comfortable. Remember Poke'mon taught us "shorts are comfy and easy to wear" and I think schools should be more flexible in what people wear.

[@bobbieparsons841]

Thank you for being so open and honest. I'm in my 40s and want to address ppl as they want to be addressed and treated but I am as not as educated as I would like to be. I'm doing my best to educate myself and without brave ppl like you, I'd be lost. Thank you

[@LAU-ik6dp]

It's like They talk about my journey being genderfluid, i could be there on the stage and tell exactly the same story. It's awesome that people like you stand up and tell the world. I show this and other videos on this channel to people that don't understand and educate them.

[@waytoobiased]

apparently Jesse uses she/her pronouns.

[@Dilligaf1]

NEWSFLASH!!! All humans are gender fluid!

[@steeb8053]

Hehe

[@ghost1057]

Can we please have a nice and respectful comment section, thank you.

[@CAwmy]

Magwai Vernie no cuz she a girl either way

[@ghost1057]

Why does the gender of someone matter to you so much? And it shouldn't matter what gender they are, because we should have a nice and respectful comment section either way.

[@goaway5872]

@@CAwmy wow shut the up please

[@codascheuer8426]

@@CAwmy you need friends

[@scottyoung9365]

Lol

[@andypearl8622]

I never heard anyone else say "I don't want to be a boy but I want to be treated as a boy"

[@MoonBlinked13]

IKR! It describes me perfectly.

[@elfdruid2072]

I wanted this my whole primary school but Poland is pretty gendered country ngl

[@farsyed5126]

@@MoonBlinked13 same dude. I hate when ppl keep treating me as a girl.

[@KJ1234]

Yes! Omg same. I so resonated with that.

[@barbaragracious6989]

maybe you never asked?

[@Jessm97-u3v]

That is such a cool suit jacket

[@dosenlitschi2426]

yes I wish I had such a jacket

[@peanutbuttertoast7742]

Ikr

[@yeoman2k1]

It's literally a bog standard grey jacket....

[@burtturdison4445]

I will support my kids whatever happens. It's my blood and I will rather die than let them down.

[@YaBoiSidnie]

How does this not have more views?! Jesse is amazing and their so inspirational and informative!

[@yellowst1494]

Wow you're right... Made me cry :'(

[@chrisdownunder8745]

Really?

[@DarthSion6987]

Because it's ridiculous nonsense.

[@littlelotusgirrrl]

This was so important as the parent of a nonbinary child. Thank you. 😊

[@reincarnated.phoenix]

Their story almost exactly reflects my own and that's so comforting to know that other nonbinary people have gone through similar things that I did

[@robroy6072]

And a narcissist. NO ONE CARES that you eat p****

[@viviannichols3582]

Since when are legos not for girls?

[@DAEsaster]

Since catholic school, apparently

[@createmationashiloop6200]

you'd be surprised how many people actually say that

[@_new_french_touch_]

Lego didn’t create a female scientist character until 2018, so, you tell me.

[@bowie1223]

I wasn't allowed to play with Legos growing up because they're "for boys" also nerf guns and the spider-man movies

[@emppu1012]

When they talked about their childhood and they used to say "I don't want to be a boy but I want to be treated like one" reminded me of when I was a kid and I was bullied, back then I used to say "I want to be a boy so I don't have to act all nice like a girl and could just punch my bullies" XD

[@laurenm7898]

may not get it, but all i want is for humans to be happy and themselves. if i do something that makes me feel as though i am genuinely being myself, i think that should be accepted. if ur not hurting anyone else and you’re authentically happy as much as possible, who cares. If u do care, take a deep look at ur life and actions and if u are really staying true to your intuition and soul. I have the utmost respect for anyone trying to make progression and create the greatest satisfactory, enjoyable life.

[@jazzkatt1919]

Maybe the question we should all be asking of each other is not, "what are you," but "who are you?"

[@bookgirlny8511]

Because they are interconnected.

[@ellismartiskainen7729]

I wish they put romantic attraction as one of the spectrums.

[@VState60]

It’s all made up, imaginary pseudo science…just add it-who’s to doubt you?? Other than scientists, of course…but they’ve left the room already.

[@heavenlyrhyme2539]

@@VState60 so the millions of scientists who understand and agree with Gender Dysphoria are wrong because you don't agree with them? Cool, gotcha

[@naynasingh594]

Notice how in the discription the ted ed uses "her", "Ms"........not ti be rude or anything but like did they really just do that?;?!!!?!!?

[@genderrebeljo3051]

She’s a female, a naturally more masculine female who has no idea re the science of biology and gender.

[@QueertyUCR]

I know. They sure have addressed them as "them" and not call them "Miss." Jesus.

[@piercegravenstine3183]

Not all non-binary identifying people use they/them or other gender neutral pronouns. Jesse may use she/her pronouns.

[@sunh1213]

@@piercegravenstine3183 Thank you for this. During the past few days I’m realizing I’m non binary and don’t feel comfortable with they/them, but with she/her. Your comment means a lot to me. 🙂

[@melcco]

@@sunh1213 : D

[@losmiquis]

What a fantastic talk! Thank you so much, Jesse, for giving light on the non-binary topic. I am sharing it right away.

[@thisbeem2714]

Wow, this talk is pretty important.

[@transcendentlifecoachlaura5717]

Thanks so much for helping to educate the public about this!

[@mjtc866]

Thank you for speaking your truth!

[@chrisdownunder8745]

But not the truth... made up reality..

[@fluffypuppy4831]

@@chrisdownunder8745 wtf

[@codascheuer8426]

@@chrisdownunder8745 not THE truth, THEIR truth. Everybody has their own truth. Actually read the comment fully before replying

[@mmmorgi]

@@chrisdownunder8745 It saddens me that your "truth" is projecting your insecurities on minority groups.

[@DarthSion6987]

@@codascheuer8426 There is no such thing as YOUR truth or MY truth. There is only THE truth and anything outside of that is a lie.

[@thesnekshed4380]

I said gender bender this morning and my friend said ‘I thought you said gender bueno’ and I heard ‘I thought you said gender piranha’ so I’m now a gender piranha

[@stariadreamtea]

I'm a woman who likes mostly feminine things. I found it really frustrating to have to wear a skirt or dress at school. You just can't move or play with the same freedom. Pants are just better clothes and should be available to everyone.

[@janetmorris-reade1562]

Thank you. I have a better understanding now and more empathy for non-binary people.

[@bookgirlny8511]

Me too.

[@What-zd7rm]

The bio uses she/her pronouns on a video that is about how they are non binary. I know the video is old, but you should still fix it. Edit: With a quick google, you can actually see that Jesse uses she/her pronouns.

[@margaretirish705]

Maybe she uses those pronouns!?

[@What-zd7rm]

@@margaretirish705 You’re right!

[@DarthSion6987]

Nothing special about a woman using she/her pronouns.

[@michaelbruchas6663]

Interesting anecdotal piece.

[@terriem3922]

Military brats learn to not stress over social things because they move so often, you have to get new friends every year or two or three. I was shy, so I had classmates and 1 friends in elementary school, 5 friends in 8th grade, classmates but not friends in high school, 1 husband for 6 years, 1 friend in my 30s who I saw for a year. I had roommates for 4 years, but none of them became close. I pretty much learned that lonliness was my life. I contrast that with your experience, very different. I wonder if you had been a military brat if you would not have tried to commit suicide, which is very sad. I'm glad you survived. It's funny how you can't see beyond the present when you're young. And also when you're old, unfortunately 🙄 I haven't had a friend in 35 years, except for my mom, who passed away. I socialize a lot at work, but only have 1 person's phone number. I don't have phone numbers of any friends, just a few relatives are left. Books were my friends.

[@AnarchyWillows]

i wasn't obviously enby as a young child and when i began to feel dysphoric i just didn't tell anyone. id learned as a kid if i had a problem it wouldn't be taken seriously so i never bothered to tell anyone. so when i came out no one believed me :(

[@davefisher1840]

This was excellent. Thanks for sharing!!! 😊

[@eileenhirschhorn9517]

very interesting and informative- thank you

[@ronalddunn8500]

Jesse Lueck could do the best Michael Cera impersonation.

[@sandyquinn491]

where can i find the first slide pic of gender?

[@Roanmonster]

you can find loads if you google "gender spectrum", also some nice venn diagrams that explain a lot

[@lan.azure.8597]

Uhm I see people in the comments saying that they used she/her. You do know that non binary people can use he/she pronouns or any pronouns they want you to address them? I'm non binary and I prefer they/she. Please educate yourself.

[@waytoobiased]

I have a friend who uses they/them in English but él in Spanish. There's a million ways to experience gender. :)

[@x23-w1o]

@Ravetastic. non binary is not no gender, it is an umbrella term for any identity outside the binary male/female system.

[@DarthSion6987]

"Please educate yourself ". You're a "she" not a "they". It's the truth whether you accept it or not.

[@XemaChama]

necesito todas las videoconferencias con sub español ;( solo entiendo un poco con los sub en ingles D; 🥺

[@bookgirlny8511]

This was four years ago. I am curious if anything has changed with regard to this subject.

[@Viky.A.V.]

They used to call it "being androgynous". Call yourself whatever you want, dress the way you please, but you don't have the right to dictate other people how they should speak about you when you're not around -- and this is the only case when we use third person pronouns -_- No one would tell you "Hey, they, how are you?" -_-

[@cristybello]

Now I get it😌

[@kennylaughon6215]

The power of Love! 1 John 4:8 Be yourself!

[@randomelvis3359]

Your -“Self”

[@earthsecho4770]

People asking her if she's a boy or a girl might of had hearing issues. This video started playing whilst I was busy and I instantly knew it was a womens voice. It's sad to see how that constant homophobia and toxic femine culture has made her uncomfortable with her womanhood.

[@harpsailorharp6716gg]

did you even watch this ??

[@helenalovelock1030]

Why did all the girls say you made them feel uncomfortable?

[@emmawilcock1304]

Thanks Jesse, best wishes from Glasgow.

[@darrenbaylis5941]

Im non binary

[@waytoobiased]

you're hella valid

[@MsJosie121]

Yes, and you are wonderful too! Much love, Darren Baylis!

[@JesusIsTheSonOfGod_john316]

Please explain to me how non binary works

[@alanaban3519]

What do you have a male r female organs

[@DarthSion6987]

Yeah you and everybody else who wants to be special. 🙄

[@tacochub4353]

I have yet to meet people who are curious enough to even give people like this speaker a second thought. I think it’s in your head… Most people don’t care.

[@justinholsinger5714]

So how am I going to know how they identify?

[@justinholsinger5714]

Do biologists support this? 🤔

[@Chocolatestrawberrycrossiants]

@@justinholsinger5714 yes, sexologists, psychologists, psychiatrists, and biologists agree with non-binary genders based off studies on the human brain.

[@sorol79]

You can politely ask, how do you prefer to be addressed? My mom asked me this last week (I recently came out gender fluid), and it was the most awesome thing. Wish more people would ask, and like Jesse said, then we could go on with our day.

[@justinholsinger5714]

@@Chocolatestrawberrycrossiants can you send a link of that?

[@justinholsinger5714]

@@sorol79 what is gender fluid?

[@Tbone.357]

How about androgynous? How about tomboy? There are girls that are masculine and there are boys that are feminine. So what?

[@tacoswelding8411]

Dude, that’s a chick Don’t buy this non sense

[@brucecaldwell6701]

Chicken Little was right, the sky really is falling.

[@broke6785]

That was awesome

[@Thomas116-m2n]

You can act and feel how you want. Don't expect others to pretend with you. Gender isn't a continuum but conduct is. The problem is that people can't come to terms with who they actually are.

[@PremiumCheeses]

What would you do if everybody referred to you exclusively as the gender you don't identify as? If you're a male what if everybody said you were a girl, and when you tried to correct them they say you're just confused.

[@PremiumCheeses]

@@ifckinglovesourcream5615 There is in fact such a thing as identifying as male or female, gender identity is separate from biology. Separate. So yes you may outwardly look like a male or female depending on your birth gender, but you may not feel that you strongly match that biological gender in terms of your interests or preference in clothing or style. Gender isn’t always you wholly identifying as male or female, you can feel stronger one way or the other without it being exclusive to two labels

[@tashaax1993xanimalloverx]

Who's gonna tell them hockey is a girls sport in the uk 🙈🤣

[@hifijohn]

is in the states too.

[@roverboat2503]

Hmm. You can feel or act any way you want in our society. Dress in any way you want, be attractive to whoever you want. Identify yourself with who or whatever you want. However, there are only two genders and you are bound to be one or the other.

[@DarthSion6987]

@@tomsweder7459 You're not one or the other. You simply have personality traits of both. Nothing special at all.

[@PremiumCheeses]

There are two biological sexes; gender is a social construct that has room for nuance because everybody is different.

[@aminaa208]

@@PremiumCheeses you and your ilk are either mentally ill or seeking attention.

[@jasminefrichtl806]

Thank you for educating people on this subject 👍🏳️‍🌈

[@derekw9405]

She is putting far too much thought into this. She is a female who prefers wearing mens clothes. In no way does that make her non-binary. She is still a woman.

[@milkmanswife93696]

I love all marginalised people. I love you. all the best

[@drpal-ug1xc]

A boy is a boy and a girl is a girl .there is no in between.

[@DarthSion6987]

@@tomsweder7459 Really? What does your bone structure say? 😏

[@drpal-ug1xc]

@@tomsweder7459 a nonbinrary? So that is that ? When r born u r either a boy or girl u don't wake up and say I'm going to be a boy or girl today get real in the real world when u r done playing make believe and get a job people will say do the job or go home or find a new job sorry I will never use pronouns to address someone.

[@PremiumCheeses]

@@drpal-ug1xc "I will never use pronouns to address someone" - bestie "I" is a pronoun, so is "he" and "she".

[@bread2246]

It seems like this person is talking about gender norms aka gender non-comformity and not gender such as non-binary. This person seems to be uncomfortable with the gender norms and how this person presents in contrast to that vs gender which is who you internally are. It seems to be that this person is non-comforming and not non-binary.

[@bephh]

You don't get to tell them who they are bud. I'm sure they have dealt with that enough in their life.

[@neofalconer5722]

@A. M. We can't know, and those definitions aren't crystal clear, but I do think that instead of trying to wrestle people into boxs you can just ask politely what they identify as and respect it.

[@annar3519]

Why can't she just look like that and do what she likes and still be a woman? Women can be androgynous alright. The problem is that she is clearly ashamed to be called a woman because our society still oppresses women and treats them like second class citizens. Internalized misogyny right there and it's very sad.

[@stariadreamtea]

That's sort of my opinion too. I think women grow up with very negative media about ourselves and creative/different/intelligent ones feel they buck the trend and the stereotypes...therefore they must be an alien or excluded from this limiting labels.

[@DarthSion6987]

Women are so oppressed they have the right to vote without having to sign up for selective service like every man has to. How horrible. 🙄

[@tgooding]

I like the jacket, shirt & hair style...very attractive

[@D-yan1992]

Luck of attention

[@ioannisdenton]

There are TWO genders. You can't just decide you are another gender.

[@piac.1251]

There are infinite possibilities for gender identity. You seem afraid of it. I’m sorry you cannot fathom a world that is beyond the one that was crafted with the label “reality”. Everything is relative and until you understand that, you’ll be trapped in a world that is limited and confined by dualities. The world is so much more than that and it’s colorful and beautiful and I hope you choose to understand it more. It’s worth it, I promise.

[@ioannisdenton]

@@piac.1251 ... XX or XY change my mind with actual science, not psychology which is not science.

[@Sam-zu5mr]

Let's just agree that physical gender is 2, but mental gender is more fluid and sits on a spectrum. Not all men are macho alphas. Not all women are submissive princesses. Mental gender varies on how the individual feels. Thier identity counts.

[@Sam-zu5mr]

@@ioannisdenton of course psychology is a science. It's a science of how the brain works and operates. You have biology, chemistry and physics of which all apply to how a brain operates.

[@ioannisdenton]

@@Sam-zu5mr psychology is not science. Physchiatry is science.

[@geoffreyombongi7299]

'What I was assigned at birth'. I stopped watching at that point.

[@sammalone9079]

Male or female is a creepy question?

[@wecandraw1]

Yea a little bit, I can see that.

[@ferncat1397]

It amounts to asking what genitals you have so yeah, it's pretty weird. Also it implies the asker wants to know which gender roles to pigeonhole you into. A friendlier way to ask about someone's gender would be just to ask their pronouns, and share yours if you feel comfortable doing that.

[@DJMightyChip]

Why do you need to know, sam? There's a lot of grey area in between. Do you want to know so that you know what pronouns to use? Non-binary people like myself do not identify with male or female pronouns... I prefer they/them, as many non-binary people do. Perhaps a better question would be, "which pronouns do you prefer?" Or... more polite still, "How should I refer to you after you leave?" Those would be a better way to ask if you're just concerned that you refer to them in the right context.

[@heydude7568]

ferncat1397 yes if hou want to live in a mad ridiculous safe space unreal sick world

[@mauriceperham5150]

@A M. Ok, so, I am non-binary and I have seen so many people actually do this and I honestly couldn't disagree with it more. Not all people in a group think the same. Women can be masculine and still be women and men can be feminine and still be men, it's not about what interests they have but about their sense of self. If a person who is assigned female at birth feels that they are non binary, then that's what they are even if they decide to wear more feminine or more masculine clothing and the same goes for any other trans person. Just wanted to clarify that.

[@bradykeckin2662]

Girl.

[@albertlowe6412]

Yeah a pink dress is not the look 🤣

[@lishayost44]

No mention of your father... ?

[@aminaa208]

There isn’t a father in the picture. Thats the only way to explain this monstrosity

[@TandL12]

Well presented; however, this is one I simply do not understand; gender-neutral/X/non-binary is self-proclamation and not a physical condition. I am all for people identifying themselves as whatever pronoun to which they feel aligned; however, people are in fact either male or female.

[@MoonBlinked13]

Or intersex. You don't 'identify' as intersex. You are born it. Also, female/male and woman/man aren't the same thing. I'm female, down to the last detail, but I'm not a woman.

[@krisblaise8580]

Why does it have to be a physical condition for you to take it seriously? Why does our meat have to decide what we do with our lives?

[@marshmallowcat1889]

Tom W it doesn’t have to be a physical condition for it to be a thing. For example, people with autism are in fact autistic. Just because you can’t tell that by looking at their body, doesn’t mean it’s not a part of them. What goes on in your head is the true indicator of who you are, and your physical appearance is (at best) a mere reflection of that.

[@marshmallowcat1889]

Tom W identifying with a gender different from the one given to you at birth is how we try to make this reflection match who we are inside. People can’t simply be male or female, every individual person is a complex being who is unable to be an exact copy of someone else.

[@marshmallowcat1889]

Tom W there are almost eight billion people on earth, trying to sort them into two categories is just ridiculous.

[@justinholsinger5714]

Here is an 💡!! Do you have a uterus? If you do you are a female. End of story. I have been waiting for answers from here for months. This talk is crazy!

[@orangecrumb]

if you do have any questions tho feel free to ask me and i'll do my best to reply

[@MsJosie121]

As if you know anything about the female anatomy, Justin Holsinger. You know you've never had a girlfriend in your whole life. C'mon, you know it's truuuueeee! C'mon man!

[@justinholsinger5714]

@@MsJosie121 I am a happy married man with children. I haven't received any feed back with an open mind to this. I am sorry you took what I said so personally. To insult me instead of proofing anything does not change my mind. I hope you can understand that.

[@JesusIsTheSonOfGod_john316]

How is this so hard to understand

[@jenvanputten2877]

So if it’s removed for medical reasons, then what are you?

[@alainportant6412]

I'm grossed up by tronnies

[@harpsailorharp6716gg]

I'm grossed out by bigoted old men

[@michaelbarrett3270]

In the Holy Bible God said let us make Man in our own image Male and Female. God is Light and there no darkness in Him. Jesus said I am the way and the Truth and the life no man comes to the Father but by me. Jesus said To enter the Kingdom of God you must be Born again, Flesh gives birth to flesh and Spirit gives birth to spirit..

[@waddle4240]

ok and?

[@lindaleelaw5277]

Wahvwah i wanted to be a boy so despite my plumbing... Give us a break i don't really care what you are.... I just want my food served etc. What I think inside is just that. Grow up and stop making us wrong.

[@christophernichols7869]

I identify as an attack helicopter

[@Chocolatestrawberrycrossiants]

Wow you’re so original, you thought of that joke all by yourself, and liked your own comment, wow dude

[@Kat_cv]

Not funny didn't laugh

[@MsJosie121]

Everyone in your life hates you. Just sayin'.

[@JesusIsTheSonOfGod_john316]

@@MsJosie121 it's a joke chill

[@x23-w1o]

Lol people really are still stuck in like 2015

[@Bookeer]

you people make this country weak.

[@ButtonWalls]

??