Ego and Music - How Ego Can Destroy Your Musical Pursuits

[@envrie9423]

Ive learned that even insecurity is ego. Beating yourself up for not sounding or performing quite like others is always self centered, just self deprecating instead arrogant. It can be just as stubborn of a feeling, I would know. I think I and many others would just be better off letting go of ourselves, our pride, insecurity and just being naturally expressive people who aren’t concerned with comparison.

[@MichaelMartinezmusic]

You hit it right on the dot!

[@Light.works.]

Thankyou for this!

[@rebeccahermosillo6]

Man, SO good!! Absolutely 💯 🔥 🎶

[@Michelle-mu1wp]

Absolutely!!! Insecurity... shyness, etc...all them ego and vanity! It is what it is🤷🏽‍♀️

[@carlosfernando9095]

Damn right.

[@ericoschmitt]

"The wise musicians are those who play what they can master." -Duke Ellington

[@copelana6786]

😉😉❤❤

[@vehtty_]

- Use Time Signatures Wisely - Tune Differently - Understand how Compositions work - ACTUALLY use scales & modes - Delete your Socials - ... FOCUS! (many have failed this one)

[@Falaxuper]

That's a blow to the gut...

[@christopherestrada2474]

Isn’t that obvious ?

[@christopherestrada2474]

Or what is he implying ?

[@MrReeTart]

I think it's a symptom/expression of a deeper trauma that relates to believing you are fundamentally bad at everything. You get over it because you heal. You heal because you get over it. Wanting to learn everything is a defence mechanism against being called out for not truly knowing what you're doing. The young traumatized artist desperately wants their music to represent particular qualities that they want the world to associate with themselves, and they have a deep fear that someone will recognize that it's all an act. So arming yourself with knowledge and technique is a cope against not wanting to be exposed for not having anything to to with one's own music. In my opinion / experience of course. It may be different for everyone

[@eugene_plasmon]

This is a very deep answer from psychological point of view, and I believe it’s true for many of us artists

[@chioma916]

def true for me damn. speak on it mr. r word username (...)@@eugene_plasmon

[@novander]

this one hit a lil too hard

[@omerbey4713]

On point.

[@Leftyenby]

Fucker it’s 3am don’t get me like this 😭

[@derateddesign]

the yt algorithm works way too well, this is exactly the kinda thing i need to think about rn

[@claireschweizer4765]

Same. Painfully so.

[@fgreco346]

Same bro

[@deadchannel2837]

me too

[@ryankelly1840]

The universe helps you through everything, KZbin is just another place in that :)

[@xsx1113]

​@@ryankelly1840 the universe has no desire or awareness of you the way you'd hope it does. youtube on the other hand is a website designed to keep you addicted and owned by one of the most corrupt privacy violating companies in the world along with the rest of social media :)

[@musicenthusiast343]

Thelonious Monk “A genius is the one most like himself.” I take this quote as an expression of what to strive for, be like yourself. Do the things you love because you love them, the greats got great by finessing the craft they loved, not portraying something unlike themselves.

[@rickenbacker40011]

Yea thats such a beautiful quote

[@MichaelMartinezmusic]

that's a gem!

[@milky7257]

I interpreted that as 'A genius is the person that you see yourself in' and it really made me think.

[@isaacmaze7897]

@@milky7257 this is a very interesting interpretation... hmm

[@stonethemason12]

​@@milky7257 you'll have to explain further...

[@ErickMcNerney]

The thing that destroys me is self-doubt and procrastination.

[@markjiannino5643]

Meditate

[@cigarettearms5992]

try limiting consumption of media & make more space for creating.personally that has done allot for me.

[@rodrigovazquezoficial]

That’s what I did. Read some books about Focus, Habits, productivity and procrastination, after that you’re gonna be for sure a “monster”.

[@laines3723]

@@cigarettearms5992this is really good advice that I’m going to think about because sometimes when I’m in a production drought, just focusing on other peoples music, music that I love and music that I don’t love, all help inspire new ideas that get me excited to play again. However when I take these intentional production breaks to study other music I feel like it becomes more overwhelming to return to the practice itself if that makes sense. It seems like finding the right balance for how you feel is right would be the best, and not taking things too seriously can help avoid overwhelm

[@photocoach5483]

All the replies here are gold btw. My advice is: Do not be afraid of your own power. If you are afraid then your mind will find other things to do like self doubt, procrastiination etc. Own you, there is only one of you. Kick the day in the teeth and be amazing.

[@EchoesOfTheDeep]

This reminds me of thing that Steve Morse said in his recent interview by Rick Beato and that stuck with me. I'm paraphrasing but he said something like "there will allways be someone that can play better than you but people are more interested by artist that play their own music with conviction"

[@MrKeefelm]

There’s a vid of John Mayer somewhere saying, musicians often want to showcase how “good” they are and forget that 90% of the audience don’t know or don’t care they just want to like the song you’re playing regardless of whether it’s a couple of simple chords or a virtuoso piece!

[@Sledgehammers_Nail]

​@@MrKeefelm Exactly. That's why I'm not really excited about that Jacob Collier guy like most people seem to be (musicians). Apparently he's some prodigy. I checked him out and his music didn't strike me as anything special (even though it is from a certain perspective) Whenever anyone is a "prodigy" these days it's just some theory wiz stuff and it doesn't feel like/sound like anything new and then they die off in a few years because they aren't a cute little kid anymore. Music these days with real instruments seems to be only good in the eyes of others if it has complexity to it. Which I get and do like that too, but I don't like music solely because of complexity. I can appreciate it and notice it but I mainly look past that and into the soul of it, not theory. It's best to think in terms of painting when listening to music, not math - in my opinion.

[@MrKeefelm]

@@Sledgehammers_Nail ultimately to connect it’s gotta make you feel something, an exercise in advanced harmonic concepts or technique means nothing if the song doesn’t speak to you. Regardless of genre, or the emotion you’re going for it has to fundamentally work! A musician might be impressed by your unconventional use of a secondary dominant diminished/augmented chord progression but most people aren’t musicians so you can easily wind up writing songs for a very narrow and slightly geeky audience! AKA Radiohead! (Who I love btw!)

[@MichaelMartinezmusic]

Wow that's such a good thing to hear

[@ladybird491]

Greatness is a matter of perspective and if you believe someone plays better than you then they do. There is no one better than me as a writer and I will never ever think or believe that, period.

[@marekwinski8854]

Incredible! Story of my life. Pianist, music producer and video art here. Everytime I hear some genius pianist I want to pursue more in this direction. Next day I go to a rock concert and feel like I want to be on the stage with them. This is crazy ego marathon that never stops. You have to stop and realize that the world doesn’t care until you bring something genuine, authentic and original to the table. This is the only thing you should focus. Nothing else. Thank you for this. Subscribed.

[@LeviGangiMusic]

I have this same experience, has taken years to realize what I was doing and how much it paralyzed me. Staying aware of it is key, and just playing what makes me feel something, while continuing to learn along the way.

[@copelana6786]

Confirmation! ❤

[@antonkokic]

You just told my life story..

[@MichaelMartinezmusic]

Thank you for sharing!

[@DianeWestinMusic]

The ego will always try to crop up, if not in music, then somewhere else. What I'm learning lately, is that it (the ego) is not the real 'me' and to just stay aware, and not to take it (ego) seriously. The 'real' is other side of the veil...touched by dialing in. Thanks for posting this -- is thought provoking. @@MichaelMartinezmusic

[@johnnyOslo]

Be the best at being you, not who you think you SHOULD be…

[@juanramonsilva1067]

I used to grind so hard at the piano during my pre college and college years. I had put myself this goal to become a virtuoso pianist, and my inspiration was reading about other virtuosos and learning all they had to do was grind really hard, so I thought, hey if I grind really hard then I’ll become a virtuoso too! But then reality hit me hard, you can’t force yourself to become a virtuoso by sitting in a room for 7 hours practicing. If some people can do it and it works for them, great! But, for me, grinding like that was making me miserable and I wasn’t achieving the results I expected. So I got burnt out. Eventually I came back with a new mindset, nowadays I don’t practice nearly as often as I did before, but every time I practice it’s such a joy, and the best thing is, I can see the progress, I can feel it and if that means progressing just tiny steps every week I’m overjoyed. I realized learning an instrument is a long life endeavor, it’s an art to be cultivated like a tree, with patience and persistence it will surely grow big and strong one day, also the same a tree growth cannot be rushed, neither can this art be rushed. Trying to do it would be a fatal mistake.m

[@sopademacaco1535]

I've been learning guitar recently and i just got aware of that long path that one must follow before doing something excellent. I mean, you're in conection with your instrument, so how can you force a connection? It's like wanting to love someone in a matter of days

[@juanramonsilva1067]

@@sopademacaco1535 Exactly. Trying to force that connection will only drive you furrher away from the instrument.

[@victorkomolafe4982]

Thank you❤

[@frazerburns91]

'I'm trying not to get too spiritual about this...' Let yourself be spiritual, it's all connected to that thread, let it happen.

[@MichaelMartinezmusic]

As I warm up to making more content about this topic, I will definitely be diving in more spiritual topics! Thanks for the motivation 👍

[@guitarista67]

Woo.

[@Guitarmin98]

YESSSSS

[@siddhartacrowley8759]

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

[@bertramblik8826]

Yes! More people need to do content and books on music and spirituality then the little content we have from Kenny Werner, Coltrane, Herbie, interviews with John Crusciante...

[@jamesokeeffe3216]

Music is just a vehicle for people to get together and enjoy each other’s company, I’ve been in so many bands destroyed by Ego’s, I’ve always enjoyed seeing my fellow musicians in the limelight and happy. I think that is the key to our own happiness ☘️🙏❤️

[@icareg]

I'm not sure how to answer the final question, but this is a huge come to Jesus moment when it comes to being a musician. All musicians and artists have much more of a problem with narcissism than the average person. Ironically, you can get so much further faster learning simple stuff with elegance, then learning the hardest thing you can because you're hell bent on impressing other people. Wonderful vid.

[@crustyboi710]

I wouldn't say it's exactly narcissism, more feeling like you have to be better than everybody else to be worth anything and doing everything to prove it. Idk, maybe that is narcissism. As an amateur college musician, I do not think I am narcissistic or egotistical by nature or in my relationships. However, I constantly find myself doing things almost subconsciously that I think will make me look better than everyone else. I study a piece because I know people will say "omg you are so good!! your hands were moving like crazy! How did you do that?" I don't intend to be this way, I don't think it is healthy behavior and I don't do it intentionally, but the feeling of inadequacy is ingrained into my being.

[@jumhed994]

​@@crustyboi710I agree, it isn't narcissism. It's Ego. My fragile ego has stopped me being creative for years.

[@Permutative]

​@@crustyboi710 People regularly switch the meaning of the words narcissism and ego around so frequently it's nauseating. Narcissism is usually used whenever we feel that an ego-related trait is more shameful to us, which is why nobody wants to call any tendency of themselves a narcissistic one. I think it's actually enlightening to consider the idea that the very group of people who can be the most emotionally expressive are especially prone to narcissistic tendencies, I know both is true for me, and it's difficult to understand the whole picture of myself with those 2 things in mind, but it is necessary to try I think.

[@PC-eu4xj]

@@crustyboi710spot on

[@jacquibrookes8257]

Totally true. You have to be really strong when signed to major labels.

[@OfficialStevenCravis]

I think what’s good is the enjoyment of, and being present with, the process. The process of creating, regardless of the end result.

[@MichaelMartinezmusic]

exactly Steven!

[@bandolierboy1908]

Outcome independence. It has the power to transform lives

[@Gordon.Gorgeous.]

@@MichaelMartinezmusicis this ego? I suffer from thinking it is.

[@ondyvond]

Yes! .. and its so easy to forget this.. and get lost in my imagination

[@fekete-kiss-sandor]

Very well said, and I am thinking about the word “ego”, and I think more and more, that such a thing is non existent. What is called “ego” is our strive to please other people regarded by ourselves as “important”, the “ego” is not about me, it is about “everyone else”.

[@reverb1499]

I was talking with my wife on this issue just tonight. I suppose God heard and recommended this video ❤️ I constantly have this crushing weight of a musical career dream. Nearly every time I sit down to work in FL Studio, I feel paralyzed and give up, largely because of this expectation I have for myself. Thank you. I’m feeding my ego and a potential future image of myself rather than just enjoying music.

[@psychogayrat]

Hey dawg ive been there, go ahead and take a listen to every bands first demo, they usually suck. Everyone starts somewhere and grows, its our egos that want us to naturally be great and such. Take care

[@patricksebastien7936]

Dude its not god it's the YT algoritm stop believing in santa claus 😂

[@mynameisirrelevant46]

Yes God will lead you ..I pray that you will allow him to continue to lead and use you in Jesus name

[@Lucrativecris]

I can relate

[@ledgy69]

@@patricksebastien7936 right... Far out absolutely detached from reality. 👍 type of crap you hear from religious nuts about a car park being given from god on a busy day.

[@zacharykim295]

This is good life advice in general. Just focus on the things you need, dont try to do everything at once.

[@tuomasmiettinen2648]

This resonates so much! I have struggled with similar things my whole life. I didn't even want to be a master in all music fields but in every field in life. In that road your ego will definitely run out of gas and it happened to me. I'm still recovering from a total burnout. And the sad truth is I didn't master anything. But the burnout was still the best thing that have happen to me. It forced me so much deeper in to my self and everyone. Music is the only thing that I can do now and that is also a blessing because it means less distraction. I wish all the best for all of you :)

[@innaslifeinmusic]

Thank you for sharing. I see myself in your story more than I'd like to admit 😔

[@roykeane5959]

Wow I’m experiencing exactly what you’re saying. In college I was obsessed with just being the best at everything. Drums, football, fitness, coding the list never ends. Now four years later I’ve flunked a ton of subjects in college, don’t have a job and I am severely burnt out and depressed. There is this deep desire in me to impress and prove something to people that has been inside of me since I was a kid. But now after a lot of deep self reflection I finally feel like I’m healing and I’m starting to prioritise things I actually want in life like friends, stability and family.

[@ThumpingThromnambular]

What is also true, is that if you think you're not ready to make music because you don't know enough, or are not skilled enough, you'll be spending a lot of time not knowing what you actually need to actually improve. Instead of working on what you truly want, you'll be lost in other genres trying to find yourself. In reality, you're probably already there, you just need to shine a light on your current abilities, see your flaws, and then you'll have perspective to work on what you actually need. For instance, let's say I'm a 4 chord songwriter, I only know how to make simple chords and melodies. I hear a song that uses a strange chord that really works well. I learn this chord and try to use it in a way that feels good in my typical songwriting. Now I know, and will be able to do that forever, and will be able to put those pieces together in new ways as I continue to advance. The important thing is to center on your own musical expression.

[@Betell4328]

True

[@music_strokes]

I think we artists forget why we learn a style, or a certain thing. We need to remember why we started it. Most of us would say "Because I love it". That reason is enough to keep going and learning.

[@DlitMusic]

Ikrr, you hit the nail on the head 🎶⭐

[@CompleteProducer84]

Great advice! As a guitar player, his is why I have so much adoration for Guthrie Govan. He has learned just enough in MANY styles to be proficient in them all, but he will be the first to tell you that he's just an "imposter" and not a master of each style. His ego is in check, but to us mortals he is a virtuostic master.

[@paulyortiz2558]

I loved your latest article. It is easy to get so distracted out there, while trying to get into your own headspace and find that special place. We pull on our plethora of influences and musical knowledge. We only have one life and and infinite space of time. So we have to follow our heart, and do what we feel. So just put the hands on the keyboards, sing and see what comes. You know when it is the real thing, it just feels absolutely right, no matter how simplistic it is. It's the first breath, the original. We learnt we can't be all things to all men, and we can't be the greatest, but somewhere in the melting pot of music we manage to project our hearts. I remember thinking on listening to this amazing 11 year old pianist whilst studing in a London Music college. OMG, I will never be this great. I knew I had not got the chops or focus to be that incredible pianist, but I knew I just enjoyed writing songs, and searching for that one bass note that pulled the chord together. Right there was and always will be my joy. So just be as one in your own space and see where it all lands

[@MarteenMayjer]

Creepy how spot on the YT algorithm is. I swear it was listening in on my session with my therapist this morning lol. But in all seriousness, this is something I’ve battled with so frequently with music. I’ve taken so many breaks in recent years because I sensed my ego taking over. I was primarily a bassist growing up, but ended up picking up other instruments and kind of always being the extra person to fill out a group (unless the groups were my own). Eventually settled on music production and it’s so hard to resist the urge to want to be good at everything. Drum parts are weak? Oh, I’ll start brushing up on my drum chops. Poor voice leading in your writing? Alright, let’s spend tons of time on piano again. lol What you said about “taking what you need and moving on” is pretty much exactly how I’m looking at things now and how I have to constantly remind myself. “I don’t need to be the best drummer in order to write good percussion parts.” Great video and comforting thoughts. Thanks for posting ❤️‍🩹☺️

[@anuj31416]

Yes i am surprised too how YT recommended this, I am a beginner flute player and see there are players who are "trying to play" and players who are just playing. And one can feel the stress of the person who is trying too hard.

[@ChelseaMonet]

I’ve decided with KZbin and chat, GPT I may be able to stop paying my Therapist

[@GaZonk100]

a long break can also be what the doctor ordered; read up on athletic over-training and you'll be surprised at its harsh full-body - and emotional symptoms. . .things really rock when you come back after it's all had time to gel up there

[@michaelkiese7794]

The biggest breakthrough I had was recognizing what I loved about the songs I love, emotionally. At the same time, I also recognized that music is also an intellectual puzzle, and there is inherent joy in unlocking that puzzle as an intellectual pursuit. So now I focus just on the joy of playing songs I love, while also just thinking about how songs (especially jazz songs) work. The reward is intrinsic, and very satisfying. Also another big lesson is the realization that music isn’t about you. It’s about the audience. Songs have special meaning to people. Picking the right songs and playing them authentically can transport your audience members to happier times in their life, long in the past. Playing those songs allows them to relive their cherished memories. That’s a big responsibility: respecting and caretaking the memories of your audience. Music is a time machine. A lot of it has to do with escapism and nostalgia. When you bring a tear to someone’s eye, or a smile to their face, your job is DONE. Everything else is superficial.

[@josdurkstraful]

This is the first video ever I see that covers this topic. congrats on that! Here's is my little story: As a young kid I heard the records played by my parents and grandparents, mainly French chansons and classical music. I loved Chopin when I was only 10 years old. But then I saw the Rolling Stones on TV (Brown Sugar) and it immediately struck me, this was exciting! Then I got into The Who, Deep Purple and Alice Cooper, 12 yers old now. At 13 I began playing guitar and took classical lessons. I had a nice teacher and within a year and a half I played Bach and Villa-Lobos. It seemed I had some talent so I went to conservtory when I was 18. It became my entire world, being a classical guitar student in the Segovia tradition.... Of course I learned a lot about other music like Mahler, Stravinsky and so on, I ate it all. But then, when I finished my studies and became a teacher myself it dawned to me that not many people really wanted to learn classical guitar. It was more like "I want to strum chords and sing" or "I want to learn to improvise solo's". So I started giving lessons on electric guitar, where my love for rock music helped a lot. I didn't feel too good as a classical musician to play pop and rock music. This helped me a lot to be a succesful teacher, being able to work with all kinds of people with different wishes..... 37 years later: I still work like this and taught myself to play and understand the jazz language as well. I don't pretend to be a great jazz player (no ego involved!) but all students that take jazz lessons with me have a great time and it's a lot of fun. The moral to the story and the way I look at things nowadays: YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! As long as my ego told me I had to be the best classical guitarist I had a really hard time. I always wanted to be able to sound and play like John Williams when I was young. It onlly made me feel bad because no one can be JW except JW himself. Being almost 63 now I know that just to be your own little self is the key to achieve things. Teaching and playing has never felt so good since the last four years, since I learned the philosophy of Bhuddism. Get the best out of yourself by not wanting to be the best, just walk your own path, that is my life's experience...... josdurkstra.bandcamp.com.

[@Gamingfreak237]

i appreciate this video, i've found it at a time where i'm rlly overthinking my music, and nothings really sticking, and this video has reminded me that simply being myself is enough

[@ThiagoPS6XX]

This was more helpful than you could imagine. After months of anxiety over this exact problem, lately i have started to realize how much of it comes from a place of, not only wanting everything, but wanting more, and as fast as possible. And though i am 100% passionate about all the things i want to learn, sometimes the drive to learn them comes from a place of proving myself and looking better, all while putting aside the thing that, in the end, is what trully makes me happy, which is making my music, creating. I think you made me realize, that it's not a bad thing at all, i did learn a lot from it after all, but it needs balance, at the very least. You said things i really needed to hear from someone else, and more. Thanks!

[@MichaelMartinezmusic]

I'm so glad it helped! I never realized so many people had the same issues as I did. And yes, balance is key!

[@DNS0875]

Exactly!

[@lailai8585]

我每次都需要被臣服自己喜歡的東西，越本質越好，因為我發現為了自己喜歡的音樂，我做了太多不屬於我原本需要做的東西，我也漸漸習慣這種感覺，覺得自己學的慢，但是總會有學完的一天，就一直不斷的增加給自己學習的項目跟興趣，我有太多精力了，並且在狀況內的時候，似乎一切都好重要是不可切割的一環，但對於能力還不是很足夠的我，可能有點太超出範圍了，我覺得我還是需要回歸本質，這是我最近一直被提醒的東西，總之，很感謝你的影片被我看到，這是來自台灣的問候與祝福，謝謝。

[@Babientity]

Sí

[@sgtsapo99]

When you dig deep into one idiom, all others fall into place naturally. Jazz is a great focus to study because it encompasses most, if not all, genres of music. I don't believe Miles ever intended his music to become what it was. It just eventually became his next topic of study organically.

[@jfo3000]

I started with classical guitar, went into hard rock, and learned a little bit of jazzy stuff. Always just took what I need for music...and, all areas of life. Its been a good life. I debated going down the jazz rabit hole, but it was more information than I needed for my expression, so I didnt invest the time, and I'm still me, very deeply, just me. Again, its been a good life.

[@R34LITY_SUX]

I'm sure it has been sir, well done

[@st.keise_official]

The most important thing is to keep your mind off the prize when you’re creating, go into that zone and let creativity guide you through the process.

[@sherryb9770]

Bingo! There is no being “in the zone” when part of your consciousness is salivating on the prize.

[@PressPlayX]

Went to school for classical music. Got my associates instead of bachelors in music because I wanted to learn basic music theory. Best decision ever. Got what I needed and got out. I make house and RnB music. My education helps me write the songs so much easier. However I did have to come to a point of accepting the rules I was taught don’t always apply to the music I was making. It was hard at times to give both the same energy so I agree you can get lost in the process so it’s important to keep the main thing the main thing. Study the skills and make them your own to make the music you want.

[@lamontprospect9974]

I absolutely loved this video and what you had to say. It has a lot to do with self-awareness and staying true to who you are (even though it might take time to figure out who you are). I'm 65 and I started playing guitar two years ago. Playing an electric guitar is a lifelong dream come true for me. It's discouraging because there's no way I can compete with someone who started at 9 or 10 years old. But it's important to remain true to your style. What you said about people learning this and learning that technique or style. Are they doing it just to look cool? Like fingerpicking, slides, pull-ons and pull offs, techniques are great to learn but you have to stay true to yourself. Carlos Santana said you can have all the technique in the world but if you can't put together a string of melodic notes, you're lost. I'm really glad I watched this because I was putting so much pressure on myself, but this has reminded me to stay true to what I want to learn and play and make sure that whatever I do, that it comes from the HEART. Again, thank you. 🙏🕊️❤️

[@MichaelMartinezmusic]

Love from the heart is what travels the fastest. Enjoy the journey my friend!

[@lamontprospect9974]

@@MichaelMartinezmusic Amen and thank you brother. 🙏🕊️❤️

[@rojoratatatata4002]

You have a gift for speaking man!

[@forgnivefan2273]

heartfelt & sincere, thank you for this tidbit of wisdom.

[@alejandro-salazar]

Awesome video! Very true! I finally got comfortable with my music when I started writing my songs/pieces from intuition rather than through direct thought and manipulation. Art is about expression and not imposing your ego!

[@DlitMusic]

Me too and you are so right. Also, it's great that you are able to express yourself more freely now! 🎶😊⭐🥳

[@MatrixEvolution17]

This is very true and true for a lot of creative pursuits. Trying too hard to be a jack of all trades to appeal to everyone will tear you apart. You can't win everyone over.

[@jumhed994]

And why would we even be trying to win everyone over?

[@MatrixEvolution17]

@@jumhed994 insecurity most likely

[@quentinfavre-gilly2310]

This video hits home! I've been putting so much pressure on myself for not doing more for my music and try to master everything that I'm running out of fuel. you put it exactly right the ego makes you forget how to just enjoy the process of. Music is a personal journey after all. We should just play our own style that's our contribution to this beautiful art we all love.

[@jiasdfadfdeygshjklsIlgs]

Realization of these things usually comes with experience in sorting out your mental flaws that you received during upbringing. I am also a musician, been doing this for 25 years, now I'm 39 and youtube recommended me your video probably because I've been watching a lot of videos regarding narcissistic abuse since I'm a victim of narcissistic parents and an ex-narcissist myself. So I perfectly understand your ego references here, good point.

[@PeterPepper93]

No. Narcissistic personality disorder is a lifelong mental health disorder. However, treatment might help you manage symptoms and reduce the impact the condition may have on self-esteem, work, and relationships.

[@jiasdfadfdeygshjklsIlgs]

@@PeterPepper93 Sorry, I didn't get your point. You said 'No' as if disagreeing with what I said but then you made some statements that do not contradict what I said.

[@PeterPepper93]

My point is it's impossible to grow out of narcissism. You cannot be an ex-narcissist, you can be aware of it but not become an "ex-narcissist"

[@jiasdfadfdeygshjklsIlgs]

@@PeterPepper93 ok, I'll rephrase: I had narcissistic traits inflicted upon me by parents. And I didn't feel comfortable with those traits, I felt there was a problem. Once you realize you're sick and you want to heal, you will find the way, understand the mechanism, and eventually heal with time. Well, I might not fully heal, some wounds will probably stay. People who are 100% narcissists, enjoy it, and don't feel there is a problem - yes, these people cannot be cured, that's exactly how my parents are.

[@enjoixander]

@@PeterPepper93 No. You can accomplish anything, no matter how ridiculous, if you commit your mind, body and soul to it. You assume the limits are real.

[@YVR_Manuel]

I waited far too long to change my approach in my journey and couldn't admit to myself that I wasn't as 'good' as I thought. Kudos to you for being strong enough to admit fault and share

[@daasdasdasdasd-j5w]

This is exactly what I needed Thank you so much. 12 years of my ego in control, I want out.

[@benjepson]

Good reminder for me as an amateur musician...I need to remember I'm good enough to play what I want and it's important to just do stuff. I'm already where I want to be. Happens professionally too (not music), it's so important to keep learning but - when you know enough to do something, just do it. Keep learning, take from other fields but focus on what I do best and keep moving. Good video.

[@------YeahOK------]

This video is amazing... but I'm saving this video for the comments section...very insightful and inspiring people on here ❤

[@ekkehardvoigt8615]

This is exactly the motive that keeps me the greatest time of my life in a studying mode...preventing me from realizing what I'm dreaming of. Thanks for saying this.

[@zekielrodriguez5229]

You didn’t waste a second Michael. You were following your instincts and making the best decisions with what you knew at the time. And those taught you lessons and got you to where you are now. You are simply deciding to have a different approach and do different things with your time. That’s called growth. Good job

[@sace2616]

Michael, you welcomed me into you studio and were so incredibly encouraging to me beginning to learn to play piano. That was over five years ago and I put myself into lessons for two years. Now I play everyday or at least most days and I will always appreciate you for what you did. Thank you! And if anyone can go listen to Michael play and meet him if you can, do it! He's an amazing person and pianist.

[@maxhenry8886]

I completely agree that the ego stands between you and truth, which is what the pursuit of music ultimately boils down to. We are trying to create something pure - and purity cannot be disturbed by the ego's desires. The sound of ego is a horrible sound, a frightful sound, a naked insight into a person consumed by a desire for power. Nothing could be further from the truth. Nothing could be further from who you really are. So create the ideas that inspire you, and go for it!

[@nestorar]

When you play music, learning, practicing, performing, there’s no ego. It’s the before and after one needs to worry about.

[@petergedd9330]

What is ego? It is who we THINK we are, it is what we have made ourselves from influences over the years. Our true self, that looks through our eyes and perceives everything going on in this world is an innocent bystander and does not belong to this world and the ego, it is infinite and lies within. It is light it is love and it will never die. Everyone has their own ego, we could not function without it in this world. We are all individual and unique, the best thing we can do is focus on the positive, on the heart, and the ego will just do what it has to, like driving a car we need to concentrate out the windscreen in front, otherwise we could crash. Focus on the light, be in love, and peace, the ego will always be there but in it's right place, we don't have to worry about it, it's not our job. Walk forward, find peace and happiness within, and let the world do whatever it does.

[@joeblakeukeman]

Our true self, an ‘innocent bystander’, nicely put! In the perspective of non-duality, that is called awareness. The ego is into judgement, awareness is not.

[@synth-eticfantasies5683]

Every musician, no, every artist needs to hear this! Thank you for the wise advice!

[@alves220]

That was so good to listen... Thank you sincerely. I often think about my relation to music and what it really means to me. There are times that music comforts me in a spiritual level, and makes me smile and laugh. There are times that I want to share my music with the people around me. But also, there are times that music hurts me a lot, it challenges me so hard that I feel that I'm just helplessly bad in the only thing I was supposed to be good. Sometimes I don't even want to talk about music. But in the end of the day, music is the one true thing that really connects me to life and I hope to have a healthy relationship with it forever.

[@StompL7]

thanks for sharing

[@Marc_Tittmann]

The most important thing was missing and I'm still not sure if I understood you completely. You will lose fun at practicing and playing/ making music at all. When I started, I just played for myself and played thousands of hours, no joke. But at a certain a point, it become something like a silent commentator, always telling things like "it's not good enough for youtube" or "imagining playing it live" if I would share it with others. This'll become a poison that blocks the energy that made you start with the instrument. Setting clear goals, for example, having piano lessons once per week, is a great thing to do. At the end of the year you had, in best case, 48 hours of piano lessons with a clear focus on one thing, not just playing around, starting one piece after another but never getting done anything. That's what I tell my students too. And don't compare yourself, only if it inspires you.

[@DebbieDenkeMusic]

I enjoyed hearing the calm presentation of your experience, Michael. I discovered the tendency to compare oneself to others will turn a musician either into a condescending snob, or else drive a person to want to quit music altogether (ego getting in the way?). I have worked as a musician since my teens, explored all kinds of keyboard related situations from church jobs, accompanist for singers, shows & choirs, played many jazz gigs, party/event pianist, with weddings, memorials, and lots of teaching! Got a Master's Degree in classical performance but now jazz my main passion - every situation can be a learning experience though, right? (sight reading, playing by ear, organizing). Of course some music situations are more enjoyable than others - but in order to work as a professional musician I just accepted that it was necessary for me to say "yes" to all kinds of gigs, but tried to keep a positive attitude and play each one with the right spirit!

[@TephraAshenclaw]

The message that really resonated for me was focusing on one thing at a time. Its quality over quantity

[@Guitarmin98]

This is the type of content the music world needs!! Thank you and keep doing you!

[@isabellaguerra2852]

I literally just made the decision to try to get my Music Ed. degree again. I emailed the music director at the local community college last night. What auspicious timing.

[@skyko]

Great video! The Ego puzzle is like a double-edged sword. It can drive you to greatness, or drive you insane. Like you said, it all depends on whether you are controlling it or it's controlling you. There is such a thing as unrealistic expectations which may make the road up ahead easier as the belief in your abilities is over the top, OR the opposite side of the coin is that we settle for mediocrity because we are too lazy to put in the work. Balance for our specific body/mind chemistry seems to be a good way to proceed.

[@Permutative]

And the benefit of balance is that we can get more consistency in our work, and consistency maintains momentum. Better to keep going without falling off the horse constantly rather than forcing yourself to go at max velocity constantly.

[@Jayjaybiht59]

People dont talk about this enough! More spiritual talk! Thank you for your work!

[@ElleQuach]

This goes hard on 2x speed. Jokes aside, thanks for this. Gives me something to think about.

[@OfficialStevenCravis]

I just tried that, but it made Michael sound like Jesse Eisenberg, so I brought it back to 1x to hear his nice calm voice. Great wisdom in this video!

[@calvinduffield248]

no cuz i literally watched it at 2x speed lol

[@larfadoodle]

1.5 was perfect for me. Dude was draggin.

[@crunchygods]

Beautifully said! One thing I've started to admire about people who age well is that, realizing they don't have the boundless energy they once had, they begin focusing their energy and time on the things that they really care about, and cutting out things that don't feed their soul quite as much. Even things they once loved to do may be set aside, because something else feels more important, and energy is finite. I'd like to be a little more that way.

[@GordonBazsaliJr]

It's been a lifelong challenge to always remember why I loved music in the first place and to stay true to that. Self actualization as an artist should be pursued as honestly to yourself as possible. If ego gratification is what you really want, then it's it's almost impossible to not sacrifice some of that integrity because it necessarily requires a certain degree of putting others' expectations before your own. Sincerity, I believe, should be the prime virtue of art. This is the first time I've heard someone voice these ideas. Thank you very much for doing so.

[@thelovinglunatic]

Thank you beautiful soul. You made me realize I spend more much time trying to learn complex music so I can seem like a better player to those around me instead of focusing on my own songs.

[@MichaelMartinezmusic]

Glad I was able to help!

[@Munenushi]

I think everyone who has ever been labelled "gifted", or "talented" - hell, anyone with a 'Type A Personality' - needs to hear what you just said: "...go ahead, learn...but you don't have to be the best at everything..." ~ Michael Martinez [paraphrased]

[@Davidsonowal01]

This video is proof of how I was ruining my life in this industry by showing I know everything and this Ego kills my own growth

[@Gigatless]

Its admirable how few cuts this video has

[@brushstroke3733]

I agree wholeheartedly. I struggled with that wanting to be great ego drive for years, and it hampered my progress much, much more than it helped. It turns out my authentic self is a simple musician who likes simple progressions, arrangements, and songs. It doesn't mean I can't appreciate what someone else does, it just means I am better able to express my authentic self. And that is what an artist does.

[@DarthPreamp]

Focusing on what you like along with figuring out what you actually like, in detail, is the key to good composition - great video.

[@Francesco6961]

Well said, dude. We can never go wrong listening to our hearts…the rest is superfluous.

[@tytrdev]

I just finished reading “Effortless Mastery” by Kenny Werner last night. So this feels pretty relevant to me. Have you read it? Do you have any other book/media recommendations?

[@MichaelMartinezmusic]

I've read it several times! I really got a lot from watching Kenny's talk at google and youtube. His Instagram posts from the effortless mastery institute are amazing too. Hope that helps!

[@jonstein6868]

Really interesting ideas here. Yes, I experience the ego running out of gas when I become over-ambitious or over-identified with learning a specific style or instrument. On the other hand the desire to improve or master something can provide motivation to show up and work on stuff so it’s a balancing act. Maybe the key as you say is self-awareness and not to get caught either in striving or non-striving!

[@MichaelMartinezmusic]

yes that's exactly it!

[@evaansounds]

“Relax your ego” - amazing thought!

[@itdepends5906]

What you shared is applicable to every discipline - you’re realizing something deeper about the fundamental nature of things, albeit through your musical journey.

[@d.l.loonabide9981]

Wow! There is a fine line. So many people consider jazz the "gold standard". If you play other styles, somehow you're not legit, no matter how skillful you might be. I truly love a lot of jazz artists. At the same time, I find a lot of the tunes that are now considered "jazz standards" to be the corniest thing. Maybe that's the point. If they can shine on a tune that bad, they must be really good.

[@d.l.loonabide9981]

At the same time, you don't have to like "autumn leaves"to learn something from it.

[@Arthur_My_Dear]

This is very true of writing music. Some music is seen as more cool than other music. If you let this affect you, say through people you respect or love, you’ve put yourself in a box. You won’t write stuff that isn’t ‘cool’ that might have been very good. You’ll also run out of ‘cool’ things to write. To escape this box of limitations you need to develop, or find, the courage to write and develop *anything* that comes into your head. This also means recognising and wrestling with your ego because you risk rejection. The is a process I’ve gone and go through repeatedly. Because most (all?) creators want their work to be appreciated, by at least one person, preferably uninvested in you and your art, the drive or pressure to create more of what you think will be accepted also never really goes away.

[@ethanbillings7264]

To escape this box of limitations!! That is the dream... I wonder if it's possible for creators to lose the want of their work being appreciated by others... perhaps it's possible that one's own appreciation for one's own work can be enough? No... Maybe?? Keep rolling and wrestling 💪

[@claireschweizer4765]

Dude. THANK YOU. I'm 22 and I have ZERO confidence/self esteem in anything about myself other than my classical vocal executions... I didn't get my first real actual lucrative day-job until last year and I still have imposter syndrome about it...I get FOMO and I'm convinced that I'm incapable of in-depth long term healthy human relationships... I've been in some kind of after school choir of some sort since I was five years old... I've gotten many solos... I've been taught that the only valuable thing about myself is my singing voice... I love theatre and jazz and choir and rock and pop and all types of performance art, and my peers, students, kids, adults, friends and family would always say "oh hey, you should do opera!!" So now I'm in my third season with Opera Grand Rapids playing in La Boheme, being one of the youngest chorus members there...I adore it, hearing Puccini's score from the Christmas Eve scene with the isolated piano accompiment during rehearsals nearly brings me to tears each time I hear it... five years ago, funnily enough the DAY of international women's day, I was invited, no, drafted, along with four other guys, by my middle/highschool choir teacher to sing at City high school auditorium for a Masterclass with none other than Baritone Professor Mark Rucker, (I was so nervous, that he told me I looked angry when I sang my Italian Aria 😭) I applied for what I thought was a scholarship that turned out to be a grant for 500$ and handed it to him at least 5 months later and him and his wife, Sadie go "after this, I don't wanna see another dime. We don't want your money, we just want you to sing!" Ever since then even if he hasn't had the time to give me lessons, he still cheers me on, and often tells me I could audition for the Metropolitan... Last year or technically two years ago I lost a very close family friend, piano accompanist, and mentor, Stephen Durst, to a stroke that turned into a permanent coma, up until then he would often bring his 2 year old grandson, Kai Turner, with him, and Kai would crawl/walk/explore around the downstairs of my parent's house while Stephen and I would play around and go over repitouire. Jazz standards, musical theatre tunes, Arias, artsongs, pop ballads and the like. Stephen showed me some of Jacob Collier's works around that same time. I was immediately hooked and in love (outwardly expressing disgust and skepticism for Jacob's technical skill and range and tone) Kai loved Jacob Collier's music too, it always got him to smile and dance and move (the toddler was one of the most stoic things I'd ever met, when he smiled or cried it was just as vivid and pure as any baby, but the majority I was around him, the kid was stone-faced) it was either a year or two or so later that Stephen, the same guy who had tried to teach me to play piano as a little kid, and who encouraged me to sing experimentally, passed away, in part due to the alcoholism and smoking and having to babysit most of his waking hours, but it was still extremely abrupt, and devastating, especially for my mom...it had to have been for Kai somehow, especially being raised by a single mother and his grandpa... little did I know that not even 4 months after that.. that gentle, curious, determined, strong, and truly happy child would be shot and killed, by a stray bullet, as a "false target" from his upstairs bedroom window...while taking a nap (Rest in Peace and Power Kai Turner of Battle Creek Michigan) I sang "Somewhere over the Rainbow" at his funeral in October. That next January I started rehearsals for the local annual memorial oratorio choir concert, and it was "Considering Matthew Shepard" by Craig Hella Johnson, I was the youngest in the performing group, by far, and also the only 21 year old, same age as Matthew when he died, I remember listening to the track "Ordinary Boy" at least ten times over and sobbing uncontrollably every single time. I remember learning during those intimate and heavy and amazing rehearsals that Aaron McKinney and Matthew were secret lovers, and how ABC had completely glossed over the Meth epidemic, and how Mathew was sexually assaulted three separate times once by his father and others by students and drug dealers on college abroad trips.. around this same time, Jacob Collier had released his new song "Little Blue" and without fail every time I listen to that tune, I automatically think of Kai, and the Wonder and the Awe in the face of a child, and the joy and the innocence that comes from exploring and the very being of music in all of it's forms and the love within real life people and communities, like choirs, who care about one another...I was recently asked and reached out to to sing for "an international women's day" church service for the third time, and I listened back to my solo, that I received so, so many compliments on, including from people of the Grand Rapids Women's Chorus...and all I can hear is how strained and dark and sick I must sound...I love "My House." I love Leonard Bernstein. I love Old theatre songs and opera pieces and artsong, but I don't want it to be my only personality trait, I don't want "classical music" to be my identity even if it's supposedly my strength. I don't want feel that I have to be amazing at everything but I want to learn all that I possibly can and almost be good at it, I love pop, I love jazz, I love hard rock, and Indie bands, I love hip hop, I love dance. Originally I wanted to sing "come into my arms" by November Ultra, a modern lullaby, written by a woman, with a MICROPHONE. I want to eventually practice and get better at piano and master percussion even though I've never taken a level one traditional Djembe rhythm test, and I haven't touched my damn xylophone in YEARS 😭 I want to learn, and perform, and do what I love, and learn more, and find more things to love and learn and appreciate, I want to be a GOOD genuine personable and unique musician and I want my musical sense to shine though every other aspect of myself, I love to cook, and bake, and draw, and paint and teach, and go on walks and listen, and cuddle. I want to be unapologetically human. 😭❤️❤️❤️🎶

[@eensanom]

I’m so sorry for your loss. May they RIP ❤❤

[@claireschweizer4765]

​@@eensanomthank you very much ❤️

[@AmbrosiusTheophilus]

This has got to be a joke, right?

[@user-ws3sl9xi7y]

Im a self taught piano player. My foundation is in Ragtime piano. I got into the trap of trying to impress others and fulfill their requests. But I didn’t like their taste in music at all. Now I tell people I only play what I think sounds good. Im challenging myself with learning Hungarian Rhapsody No 2! (No sheet music)

[@Angelo-z2i]

As a classical pianist and piano teacher, I have wanted to delve into other styles and learn other musical instruments. I also feel like I need more hobbies so I can feel less inferior. I can't help constantly comparing to others...

[@davephillips9360]

Great concept cat. I have always lived by those exact principles and had 47 years of professional and personal joy from my music and all of the people i meet and see dance. When my instrument came out of its case my ego went into the case while I did a painting of sound. Thank you again for your wisdom shared.

[@galbeeri8360]

i think artists must have ego to keep going

[@chrisfireymusic]

There is a night/day difference though in belief in the work, without the need in external approval, and the typical ego so common in many people. I had huge ego issues I was unaware of for years because I sought validation from others to appear a certain way. Such an ego is fragile and insecure, really a lack of identity more than secure in identity.

[@SuperDrumsforever]

Wonderful and informative video. As a drummer who has been dedicated for almost 50 years to drumming I have to say I agree with all you said.

[@caspianviola]

I do not totally agree with you.....Let's say Lenny Breau, he mastered different genres that's what made his guitar playing interesting.....much more interesting than a guitar player playing blues all day....

[@schoolboyh4783]

A guitar player playing the blues all day is probably getting 100x more out of the music than you listening to Lenny Breau. He's living his life the right way. Just like Lenny Breau.

[@caspianviola]

@@schoolboyh4783 bullshit

[@malachia8590]

I agree 100%. This is been my story till now and it spoiled the pure joy of making music of the beginner. The key word you said is "identification",,when you start wanting to be another person (your hero probably) and you set the bar that's where the problems begin

[@MichaelMartinezmusic]

Exactly…. Thanks for sharing!

[@tintakac6239]

Thank you for posting this video. Im a guitar player by heart, 2 years ago I went into production and I got amazed by possibilities of electronic music. Now after 2 years, I just keep deleting all that I put in my daw without hesitation. Thank you so much for reminding me of my initial idea of having a studio at home. Subscribed!!! 🤘🏻😎

[@SciCommStudio]

I want to like Harry Styles and now I'm thinking twice but my mind is clear as crystal and flowing like water. Thanks a lot.

[@eusoureggie]

That your "little thoughts" saved my day! I'm facing a difficult time in my career. I can't find myself anymore, and I don't feel I'm good in anything. I lost my path and I can't find it! Really dunno what to do, but your words made me calm a little bit. Thank you!

[@MichaelMartinezmusic]

Glad I could help!

[@jennipotts]

:13 "I'm trying not to get too spiritual about this" ... I got spiritual about this, and it was very helpful. Appreciate your authenticity, vulnerability and kindness.

[@mkartmkart6335]

When I was given a piano as 3 years, I just played. Im 54 now and piano world is there for me to find back, Society wanted me to master but I had never the stamina to do it, so i just played and played.... and played. Now, at 54 I want to find back the tones anew,....

[@lanceregan2571]

Follow your heart .learn a little each day .play from your heart. The ideas you work on eventually work there way into your playing. The audience can feel when you are playing from your heart and not just pretty scales and chords.A single note held down and given it’s time is better than 10.

[@EdNash-l5b]

Excellent point. My advice as an old musician is play what you feel and enjoy and if you are lucky others will feel and enjoy what you do. Otherwise you just go round in circles trying to be something you are not or second guessing. Also define success, it could just be having the time and space to do what you love. Music is great....

[@NavyJonesMusic]

Ego, is always contingent upon putting others below yourself. Pride always comes at the cost of others. This is great. I'm no virtuosos for sure, but none the less have a big fat ego, it's a great thing to be humbled, and directed to (in my case) focusing on my favorite style.

[@dimitriassefa6076]

I’m not gonna lie this video freed me from that expectation which is truly outta touch with reality

[@zofiawlazo8964]

For me, thinking "I must be the best" is always wrong and destroying

[@daltondamm9551]

I'm so glad I saw this.Thank you for being my best friend

[@braando7303]

LONG COMMENT WARNING I’ll speak for myself. I’ve been through traumatic experiences in my life and music was the only thing where true confidence really came. And being exposed to musicians who were at higher levels than I was at the time, I wanted to be up to their level as well. I can be good at something too, ya know. And then, being around some ppl shaped my whole ear for music. Now everything is based off of pride, make it COOL, PERFECT!! Be up top so folks know that you’re top notch. Then came some times where I felt less confident to play, I didn’t wanna do too much because I was unsure in myself. Then I realized that I’ve taken a lot of pride in music and surround my life and my worth around music. And since I realized that, I’ve learned to have fun with music and not be SO serious all the time. But, lastly, at the same time, I do believe in expression. I believe in what the Bible says: “Whatever you do, do it heartily. For the Lord, not for other ppl!” Colossians 3:23 😎

[@nullharmony]

I personally am not trying to make music my career. But I invested a lot of time into it. I studied classical guitar as a kid, then learnt to play electric on my own, learnt how to do producing, a bit of composing, etc etc. I also sometimes notice the thoughts of "I want to become great", "I want to become popular", "I want to make others happy" all of which stem from the ego. But the essence of making music for me has always been self-expression and challenging perfectionism. It's therapeutic in a way. And I'm trying to get back to it every time my mind strays away. But I think it's easier for me this way, as I'm keeping this as a hobby, and I'm not expecting to make money out of it. It becomes more challenging if it's a career I think. P.S. I'm very happy you brought up meditation there, because I also meditate, and some spirituality definitely helps make sense of these things.

[@mkallend]

I never considered myself to be much of an “artist”. I only ever wanted to be a working musician. As such, learning new styles, new techniques, new vocabulary: that’s the whole game. The artists….they can meditate on stuff. They can really clear their brain & focus on what’s important to their inner-selves. While they do that in order to create their art, we working musicians got work to do.

[@bigavsha]

Thank you for this so much. This is exactly where my perfectionism and insecurities tend to lead me and I needed to hear this.

[@walglezar1066]

i once made music just for "the recognition" that i thought it would bring, then i moved to Guatemala with almost all of my gear and realized how heavy it was (physically the instruments and emotionally the weight of expectation). I had this breakthrough were i thought: if i'm doing this JUST for being seen or heard it's never gonna happen that way, for things truly happen when we stop desiring and simple embody them. From that moment (2 years ago) till now i've been reinterpreting music and my projection in it to letting it, and me, free so i can do it for the enjoyment of it. Thanks for the video and the reflection!

[@MichaelMartinezmusic]

that's awesome!

[@wyvernx666]

Thank you for this beautiful insight. As someone who fell out of practice for like 3 years and getting hack into playing again, I realized i wasted way too much time already instead of understanding the why things work aspect

[@kylemakesmusic]

Grab what you need, build yourself, build your life. Its all about you man.