Elephant Seal Battle for the right to mate

[@l.h.9747]

imagine sitting on the toilet and one of these breaks through the wall because it sounded like you want to pick a fight

[@leonardmccoy4797]

I would legitimately cry

[@xokoy.]

😂😂😂

[@BlueFire2769]

Ahahha that's what's gonna happen if i don't get out

[@toddhurley5629]

😂😂😂

[@cedricofakem2056]

LMFAO 😂😂😂

[@uwedergeschmeidige4734]

Other animal Sounds: Roaring, hissing or Barking Sea Elephants: *Aggressive Diarreah noises*

[@endingworlds]

Humans: *wanna go bra noises*

[@gummostump4217]

They sound like tpilets doing that inhale burp thing.

[@nuudle1594]

I can't unhear that lol

[@deityzilla]

Yes

[@johnsgaming6888]

LMAO YASSS

[@lilearthdragon5280]

Their warrior cries be soundin' like a clogged toilet.

[@FeliDJrah]

Yo true though. 🤣

[@Davidpoland2005]

pooping

[@shizzil_l2051]

fr

[@t84t748748t6]

like some 1 shitting in a long pipe

[@aka3316]

Yeh fun thing, our shower drain sounds like this. 30 year old small drain....

[@dank_smirk2ndchannel200]

Elephant seal bull: *Gets a quarter of his nose ripped off* Also elephant seal bull: "I didn’t hear no bell!"

[@digodeu-xe4ws]

tis but a scratch

[@kluk8284]

No way the small guy would have ever won

[@Just_A_Guy_Here.]

I'm your 100th liker here & bye.

[@dank_smirk2ndchannel200]

@@Just_A_Guy_Here. thanks.

[@fifthbusiness1678]

He was half the weight of the other but gave up a good fight and seemed to be getting the better of him until he lost a third of his nose.

[@user-ny5cu5ol1p]

I'm amazed that an animal has evolved to intimidate his foes with the echoing sound of intense diarrhea in a toilet

[@stungun3009]

LMAO😂😂😂

[@drowjack]

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH NASTY

[@Matt_from_Florida]

When I go in the bathroom and make those sounds people always leave. Give it a try!

[@youneskasdi]

@@Matt_from_Florida This guys knows how to be an alpha male, he also happened to be from florida

[@Weaner69]

Final stages of evolution.

[@Battury]

Imagine being this large, this powerful, this destructive, and the only sound you can make sounds like you're having explosive diarrhea into the back of a snare drum.

[@secondfavoritecolors2993]

LMFAO AHAHAHAHA

[@jackallen83]

Lmao 🤣

[@lowkeykeylow5526]

🤣🤣🤣

[@morestacks]

🤣🤣🤣

[@georgepapasimeonidis2636]

ΑΗΗΑΗΑΗΑΗΗΑ

[@mr.blueitachi5258]

Me : *flushes toilet * Elephant seal: i dare u say that again

[@mr.blueitachi5258]

@@killekillekille1 me : *farts * Elephant seal : and i took that personally

[@mikehunt9632]

Cripple fight!

[@Randy1337]

[@ricardogallardo8284]

Lmaoooo. Original was the best one.

[@Waluigi___040]

0:48 You Hear This In The Distance

[@-X0N]

Notice how confident the aggressor was, always positioning himself at the high ground. Obi-wan would be proud

[@vespenegas261]

I agree. This needs more lightsabers

[@JoseRafael-oc3xu]

I wish Biden was this aggressive…

[@asia1174]

Right, and I think he didn’t attack as much because he felt less threatened. And he’s a bit bigger too, it was over from the start

[@21DaHoagie12]

Remember when darth maul had the high ground? 😂😂😂

[@Shinysnomni]

I love how seals range from adorable rotund sea puppies to whatever the hell you’d call this

[@TristanBiological]

Red Power God (tier 2)

[@cerovk6000]

Lol land whales

[@TheGreatThicc]

Rotund sea bulls?

[@nojorooney]

The giant land squidward

[@cerovk6000]

@@nojorooney lol

[@Ombudsman08]

Imagine fighting and trying to keep your nose from falling in your mouth.

[@paleface171]

We'd be in big trouble if these creatures had legs and arms.

[@sadsackkvisling9694]

"BEHOLD Muh mighty SNOOT!"

[@we7034]

@@paleface171 actually, it's good for them that they don't have them, cuz then humans would terminate them.

[@Dan_Kanerva]

@@we7034 or their limbs would break under their torso anatomy

[@stew1375]

holy shit my sides. i didnt realize that

[@jackcristo1628]

My mans out here spoonin' when suddenly, in the distance, a hater appears.

[@Quasi777]

Lmaooo

[@Akutukananu]

😆

[@Ingagalator]

It was because the seal was a relative of the hater?????

[@MrZachgonz]

He said 🚫🍆

[@sadsackkvisling9694]

She's fakin it.

[@Harchatur14]

The girl runs away with a third elephant seal meanwhile 😂

[@Love-h6s]

😂😂👍👍

[@-lord1754]

☕

[@PsychedeliaMind]

No solo en elefantes Marinos pasa , ya me pasó. 😢😂

[@Delicious12347]

​@@PsychedeliaMindNaturaleza promiscua, que se le va hacer. 🙃

[@asia1174]

She’s the real intellectual here lol

[@ohchinchindaisuke1927]

If you close your eyes it sounds like the most aggressive bathroom wars between two people fighting over flatulent exchanges.

[@jaxthedisintegrator8096]

OMG no 🤢

[@reborngreatnesss5712]

Hahaha I don’t need to close my eyes that’s nasty 🤢

[@filipebeat]

X D

[@Moh_The_Pro_2]

Underated comment

[@louisgarcia777]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@andrewklyce-mariscal1564]

Having heard these in person, this recording doesn't do justice to how terrifying that noise is. Balls of steel to the guy filming

[@dawid2383]

To be fair if you are keeping distance it is to slow to do you any harm.

[@MrScar665]

@@dawid2383 Agree but just imagine the sight of this thing chasing you

[@sealdew5348]

@@MrScar665 i think if i were just taking a swim and then an elephant seal just starts roaring, id start bookinggg

[@XavierAway]

He has balls of steel only if he’s not fast enough to run away, and believe you me you would have to be pretty damn slow

[@MrScar665]

@Engineer Gaming I would run like hell. Not gonna lie I think the idea of slapping the big boi on the back before he turns away and chases me is pretty funny

[@hockeytalk13]

Imagine living in that house and just waking up to this fuckery out your window? "Christ sake Larry here we go again"

[@flowrepins6663]

they just watch like is a mix between ufc and animal planet 1:37

[@vesuviusp.5831]

😂😂😁

[@landlockedcroat1554]

lul

[@nightmarebeatscatcher7664]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@lilmikey1275]

Imagine this being a normal everyday occurrence for someone. They wake up and go outside with their robe and cup of coffee and just smile as this happens.

[@SurajKumar-ln8ij]

Honesty this is one of the best documented recording of wildlife fight yet.

[@TristanBiological]

@@SurajKumar-ln8ij aye! Thank you!

[@tuckerricklefs4830]

This feels like something straight out of an alien planet. It is crazy to think these massive creatures are real.

[@jbjaguar2717]

That's because the aliens from movies are based on stuff like this.

[@user-bo1ej5im9t]

@@jbjaguar2717 or weird humanoid big brain-time Huge eyes Lanky leg People with green Mold skin with only 4 Long fingers

[@jahjahjah213]

That's what I was thinking. What an awesome world we live in!

[@arthurmorgan4672]

The sound, sounds like someone taking a massive dump in the toilet.

[@linac4833]

exactly

[@kaktussurvival6782]

That poor smaller guy just lost a half of his nose, and still tried to fight, brave dude.

[@adawnicusautocon]

Yeah, and I was rooting for him to avenge his nose

[@Tyrannmon]

The little guy barely did any damage to the larger guy will the larger guy bet the snot out of the little guy

[@Istrianprincess]

The smaller guy was very stupid he should know not to fight with the big guys

[@Tyrannmon]

@@bigboydownstairs9651 yes but the bigger one POV is : it’s over anakin I have the high ground Small guy : you underestimate my power Big guy : don’t try it Small one Lips at big one Big one after ripping small ones nose : you where the chosen one Small one : I hate you

[@bigboydownstairs9651]

Poor lil guy was a lot smaller and at a down hill disadvantage. It got tough to watch tbh

[@Naludaking819]

It’s like watching a giant thumb war

[@thejza9910]

😂😂😂😂

[@DSG_Grizzly05]

😂😂

[@carloscrack3]

I remember a guy doing same noise inside McDonalds restrooms

[@3xterminator05]

I mean you’re not wrong

[@Annihilatedd]

💀

[@jkennard10]

These animals are so goofy looking. But they're actual monsters that'll bite chunks out of each other just to rizz up the ladies.

[@Kwisatz_HaderachXIII]

You are describing humans right?

[@Isa-sb9jn]

​@@Kwisatz_HaderachXIIIseals? At least I hope no one bites chunks out of each other

[@Jking0005]

Imagine what they would do to humans

[@heckinbasedandinkpilledoct7459]

@@Jking0005you could probably jog and get away from them 😂😂😂

[@BeepDragon]

The smaller one had half it's face torn off and still didn't retreat right away. These creatures are incredible

[@Mephitinae]

Then he went right into the saltwater with a gaping wound. Ouch.

[@BeepDragon]

@@Mephitinae yeah that looked brutal

[@elih9700]

@@Mephitinae Best thing to help clean the wound.

[@maximumgas9448]

Thw horny helped him

[@bruno2dj]

Akainu vs Shirohige, colorised

[@monsterfanatic5344]

The larger bull wasn't even attacking at first. He was just stanced up and tanking all of those attacks head on. What a beast, good lord.

[@TristanBiological]

All about the strategy

[@danielgaffney6690]

@@TristanBiological legit, I think he was waiting for a good opening, and he got one, tearing the other guys nose like that.

[@schmoneyyak]

I love how we can see the exact moment the smaller one realizes it’s a losing battle and starts backing away. Seems like the big guy understood that perfectly and started turning up the aggression.

[@armintor2826]

He knew he could tank it with those bigass calluses around his neck

[@diobrando5974]

Ye, that’s what I thought. Why would he attack when he’s way larger? He tried to intimidate to avoid some damage too, but when that didn’t work, well… he bit off his face

[@dylanhill4428]

God the big guy took like 30 free hits to show how tough shit he was, what a MONSTER

[@tmar8959]

Funny you say shit when all the other comments are saying they sound like clogged toilets 😂

[@d0sxxgaming94]

it was actually strategy to not tire out and wait for a position to do a critical bite for some real damage. 3:04 after that the tables turned on the one that looked like he was doing more attacks

[@hatusnee]

You can tell he's a veteran bc of all the scabbing on his chest

[@xpan195]

And he ended up winning too. Don’t f*ck with the king 👀👀

[@YRO.]

@@xpan195 The "King" literally attacked the other one

[@TeenageMutantAussie]

Seal 1: FLIPPERS OFF SHE'S MINE!!! Seal 2: NUH UH SHE'S MINE!!! Her: 🤦‍♀

[@chupapi-o5u]

When animals do it its nature. When humans do it its toxic masculinity

[@damuvang1915]

0:18 he came out like a warrior in a movie. On top of the hill making his battle cry issuing a challenge to single combat.

[@hassuntzu6523]

Just like a warrior, he found someone with his girl

[@damuvang1915]

@@hassuntzu6523 And she leaves just as when they fight for her honor. Don’t think she’s watching anymore. 😂😂

[@stevetownley5480]

A little lest climatic if you ask me but still true nonetheless

[@rashodhustle9718]

@@damuvang1915 shes probably like on to the next

[@kdesano8]

Looks badass but it sounds like someone having a bad shit coming out his ass.

[@axlh.1827]

Lady seals when they hear clogged toilet sounds: ooohh sexy

[@adamkerman475]

Here’s some dating advice: take the girl you like to dinner and take a dump on the table she’ll fall for you instantly

[@moodyowlproductions4287]

@@adamkerman475 elephant bull seal"look pal it ok for my species to crap anyway we like but not for you humans ok"

[@brokendaboken348]

Everyone has their taste

[@axlh.1827]

@@adamkerman475 lmaooo

[@moodyowlproductions4287]

@@brokendaboken348 in this case it a crap taste

[@colemonson8772]

alternative title: two discord mods fight over an egirl

[@risonboobis3410]

Even got the female seal going “GUUUUYS STOP OMGGGG” at 1:40

[@AlcoholicBoredom]

Ok, that’s a “win the internets for a month” level comment.

[@s.apamplona7131]

Lmao

[@bullymaguire9156]

Bruh 😂😂

[@11creeper45]

Pov chads never finish first

[@Cornerboy73]

The little one ran away shaking his nose barking "This isn't over Abelard, we shall finish this duel another day - arf arf arf !!!" Then he made his escape down the conveniently laid-out Elephant Seal slipway next to the wharf.

[@sunnytheboxer.]

lol

[@McCracken_9]

And then the husband came home early

[@TristanBiological]

And now I HAVE to do an edit of this to 'trapped in the closet'.

[@thegift1640]

Насчёт хасбенда ничего не понятно , звук такой будто ведро с гайками таращиш через поле

[@MrWhatdafuBOOM]

And he was shocked to see he wasn't the only one who came early.

[@seretith3513]

That Husband is a Hybocrit given his Harem

[@MrWhatdafuBOOM]

@@seretith3513*hypocrite

[@AlohaBiatch]

Imagine the pain of jumping into saltwater with half your nose ripped off 😭😭😭

[@deepslumbersweetdreams8213]

It would burn too😣

[@ezamorazamora6978]

Dam he did rip off part of his nose huh

[@jonathanbulkheed338]

That was a fucked up move! He knew he bit onto the other guy's nose and said "fuck it, this shit is coming off".

[@davidrinmawia2959]

@@jonathanbulkheed338 no his opponent bit his tongue not himself you can see 3:06

[@jonathanbulkheed338]

@@davidrinmawia2959 I can see it has nothing to do with a tongue. Lol

[@andread4595]

I like how the girly slips out and “runs“ away when she sees them about to get into it😂

[@TristanBiological]

she's very sneaky, and totally played these males against each other. Well played Tyra!

[@brienfoaboutanything9037]

Thats amazing information about Elephant seal: kzbin.info/www/bejne/eaLTqHiJitOXi7M

[@paxhumana2015]

@@TristanBiological , whenever I saw the cow, and the two bulls that were fixing to fight, I immediately thought of Side B of Karate Champ, and the NES version of its introduction theme. ( kzbin.info/www/bejne/hqLVlGx6bJ2Ir8U&ab_channel=GBelair ) If the guy that was in the background with the camera was moving, and that they also had said things like "Begin", "Stop", "Judge", Half Point", and "Full Point", and had some red and white flags, then it totally would have been an elephant seal version of that game.

[@Tyrannmon]

@@paxhumana2015 yo seal fighters that needs to be a real game

[@dougfredricks2017]

Girly:"But the other Seal waited 3 years..."

[@Egbert758]

1:03 right here😂..looks like a giant kaiju coming down the mountains into a city or something...there even looks like theres a road there

[@BlackRevenger71]

Godzilla 1954 scene

[@brianbommarito3376]

I feel sorry for the old, battle-scarred one. He fought really hard at first. The big one was like, “I’ll mess with your head by just roarin’, let you wear yourself out, and as soon as I get my nose out of my mouth, I’ll mop the floor with you,” and then he did.

[@taidanagaming6800]

I laughed way harder than I should have at this comment 😂😂😂

[@peramenehera7054]

I mean since he has all those scars he probably already got some mad puss in his days

[@ChristopherX30]

😂😂🤣

[@SkrunkyTheClown]

@@peramenehera7054 prolly. But out with the old and in with the new, basically how it works in nature. And for humans too

[@ishzarkklyon9590]

Thragg vs Conquest and the left one was Conquest

[@michaelmythology]

"It's over Anakin! I have the high ground!"

[@swellerferret2506]

“You will not take her from me!”

[@NamekFreakazoid]

"You underestiMATE my power!"

[@swellerferret2506]

@@NamekFreakazoid “My anger and lust for mating have already done that.”

[@Theodoros_pap_zearg]

@@NamekFreakazoid don't try it

[@amser7]

@@Theodoros_pap_zearg AAAAAAAA (gets reject from mating)

[@goddessmodel]

are they seriously fighting in turn based combat?!

[@Rayedrgn02]

Survival of the fattest

[@EssexAggiegrad2011]

Elephant seals live in a RPG

[@elcomemierda2624]

It's slow because their agility stats are minimal

[@vampiric172]

The right the one was charging his attack

[@kingghidorah8106]

right one was bigger and thus tougher, he'd wait til the smaller one became tired. However the smaller seal did very good making the bigger one fall under his own weight when rushing. Too bad he got his nose broken and he also got trapped against a wall

[@YG-rr6zv]

Elephant seal: Our fight will be LEGENDARY! **Explosive diarrhoea noise intensifies**

[@ChannelZero1031]

1:36 I like how the female seal just looks around and says, "I am out."

[@we7034]

this a real life lesson, man lost his nose for her and she just quit to mate with bully

[@ZaharielEl-Zurias]

typical in all species

[@deathcap.]

Nah if you watch the other video that shows the whole thing, that smaller one is a challenger who snuck in and tried to force himself on her. The one that comes over the hill and wins is her actual man

[@skateboarding118]

@@we7034 Yep, wait at the finish like and f the winner is their dating strategy.

[@doge2629]

aight imma head out

[@MRSLAV]

Jesus, they have one tough skin

[@Jestiii]

Wait WTF SLAV? YOU HERE?

[@Davidpoland2005]

top hardest to beat creatures in the world

[@mistydayremainsofthejudgment]

and they are covered in scars and callouses right around the neck area, from biting each other! it's insane how massive and strong these things are!

[@Mikeeeeeeeeeeeeeee3]

Hello slav

[@whatareyoudoingstepcomment4029]

not as tough enough to withstands my barret m82 50 cal sniper

[@AverytheCubanAmerican]

0:25 *"It's over, Anaseal. I have the high ground"*

[@emilioalvarez7745]

😂😂😂

[@DeadmanInc336]

You idiot... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jakubgrono9070]

Diarreah noises intensifies

[@fulcrum6008]

"You underestimate my power of diarrhea roaring!"

[@Arenas95]

Anaseal.... 😂😂😂

[@Comrade_squareman]

0:21 why does it look like it’s really big and there’s a skyscraper and mountain.

[@kenadams9376]

It sounds like a rough morning on the toilet after a rough night of drinking cheap beer.

[@Tony-112]

And taco bell

[@GB-um2lf]

One on the right employed Obiwan tactics, dude had the highground the whole fight.

[@squilliamfancyson1080]

Here we can see an excellent example of how powerful the high ground truly is: Elephant seal bodies are extremely blubbery which gives them some of the highest resistance to damage in the animal kingdom but their big floppy proboscise are very soft and sensitive and one good bite there can easily win a seal the fight. We can see this happening in the video when the opponents nose gets bit and ripped open and he loses almost all his will to fight and loses the battle soon after. Elephant seals are also far too heavy to jump or lift themselves of the ground, however far their neck can reach is all the range that they have. They also lack any agility or dexterity on land beyond just biting things, meaning things like dodging or outmaneuvering is impossible. So by standing on ground high enough to put your proboscis out of reach of the enemy seals bite, you have essentially made it impossible for them to reach your weakpoint while simultaneously making it far easier for you to attack their's. High ground is broken, pls nerf

[@ladypain_thelegend5949]

@@squilliamfancyson1080 Ngl, I thought he bit his own nose with how aggressive and wildly he was going for those bites; it looks like they can easily bite their own trunk.

[@ryu-ken]

The other dude is smart. He took the high ground. Has more leverage for devastating blows and made it harder for low ground guy to hit him

[@Totyen]

Was looking for this comment, was not disappointed

[@sadsackkvisling9694]

So original.

[@Frosst]

Elephant Seal: “Yo..u.. You should’ve gone for the snout” *gurgls*

[@sonatine3266]

Dunno why, but I laughed like one minute straight to this. xD *gurgls*

[@ryu-ken]

The other dude is smart. He took the high ground

[@bullymaguire9156]

😂

[@sadsackkvisling9694]

The snoot is a blood rich and sensitive target.

[@thanosianthemadtitanic]

😆

[@Egbert758]

4:42 😂the metal pipe getting in his way justs add to his embarrassing defeat

[@TristanBiological]

@@Egbert758 it’s a legitimately heavy pike pole, 14’ long. Just looks like toothpick next to these bros. I was worried they’d just take the wall down.

[@Egbert758]

@@TristanBiological that's insane, no fence stopping these boys

[@medicgaming101]

The guy who lives in the house: “HOLY SHIT! FREE CONTENT!”

[@stovepip]

Love how the big one is baiting the little one to strike, only to strike back at critical points

[@TristanBiological]

The strategy of experience. They probably run out of steam having to lumber around like that.

[@FatalShotGG]

@@TristanBiological The bigger one also lacerated the smaller one's nose

[@jfchadwick11]

"Little one" being a relative term here 😬

[@Akaryusan]

You don't get to stay the biggest by being an idiot, even a seal has to use strategy

[@Pasta13]

1:01 if that pole to his right wasn’t there you would think that 500 ft tall elephant seal Kaiju is attacking what looks like Northern Ireland

[@Noname-gr1zp]

Titanius Sea Elephant

[@peterd4047]

I legit was thinking the same thing we have similar minds 😂

[@davecrupel2817]

That's what it looked like! Haha

[@MrOrangeonion]

damn right i thought it was flippin huge at that point

[@Satanna.avemaria]

I am amazed this is all on camera. wow! It’s a whole movie ❤️ but I couldn’t hold the laughter in with the noises 😂😂😂😩

[@poison3x]

He was like: " Come with me girl! You know I got a bigger toilet ;) "

[@michaelyu2744]

I kept feeling like they would crash through the wall of a house and continue fighting in there anyway while destroying the furniture

[@cookiecola5852]

LOL not impossible😂

[@southernfried8502]

Well the average male northern elephant seal does weigh around 2.5 tons. And it's obvious to see they have a high pain tolerance.

[@danatedawg1018]

I...would absolutely love to see that

[@SafiSierra87]

They could most certainly do that

[@goldiegoose8975]

They’d be like Peter and the giant chicken

[@zcarp8642]

Fun fact. They're practically shouting their names at each other. Each male has a rhythm of bellows that make up their name.

[@tomatogenesis]

Maybe Groot isn't so weird to us after all

[@evancalles1411]

lol pokemon

[@randomguy6152]

source? unless this is a pokemon joke

[@evancalles1411]

@@randomguy6152 pokemon (except a few) only speak in their name

[@AK-jt7kh]

I want this to be a thing in male human fights. Just like "Dave" "Rob" "DAVE!" "ROB!!"

[@gusto8585]

Third time rewatching This Showdown... It was alot more entertaining than a Mayweather Fight!! And it was free... thank you!!

[@TristanBiological]

what they lack in fancy footwork, is made up in haymakers!

[@OJanimations08]

“Honey are you in the restroom?” “I’m not in the restroom” “What?” “Look outside.” “…oh.”

[@miguellilly8859]

Small elephant seal:(Doing quick bites Big elephant seal: You fight like young man nothing held back, admirable but mistake.

[@ShankX10]

Then he pulls the DAD move on the young man "I GOT YOUR NOSE".

[@noobmaster6823]

@@ShankX10 r/cursedcomments

[@lefu7812]

@@ShankX10 you think your nose is your ally? You ve merely adopted it

[@neilalexander65]

@@lefu7812 lool

[@jacobzland3609]

@@lefu7812 I was born in it, moulded by it. I didn’t smell the diarrhea until I was a man, by then it was nothing to me but RANCID!

[@fluffywhitellama4144]

So this dude just shows up and steals the other ones girlfriend That's sad man

[@Dan_Kanerva]

the girlfriend left both of them when they started figthing... she will wait for her lover to come back and retake his honor

[@FumanyuX]

No, the opossite, the smaller one had stolen her

[@MrExade]

The dominant male has the right to mate, only a beta would say it's sad.

[@Dan_Kanerva]

@@MrExade lol 4channer

[@justakidwithnolife5671]

@@MrExade go back from whence you came, you basement dweller.

[@Len124]

The female: "Shucks fellas, don't fight over little ol' me!" Takes out a bag of popcorn.

[@thevisitor1012]

*Little guy lands 100 combos, then gets bit on the snout* “Aight I’m done”

[@ano2101]

It’s like you’re working you’re ass off and get hit by gogeta lvl 7

[@youneskasdi]

Size does matter after all

[@nadinecreary9938]

It got torn open really bad 3:48

[@Londoniusthe3rd]

He had to have all of that swag to even do a little bit of damage but the big one landed three Crush Counters and won the match. Smh, this shit ain’t fair man...

[@julesop3866]

@@Londoniusthe3rd R.i.P

[@Castillo525]

The one on the right (newcomer) was larger and stronger, but the one on the left has the fighting spirit. He'll train and come for revenge the next mating season 😂👌🏻

[@TristanBiological]

He successfully mated a few times, but your totally right that he's the future Beachmaster very soon!

[@TheMendo123]

The one on the right is the beachmaster I think. Looks like the smaller one is probably younger and was mating with a female on the larger beachmaster's turf. He is too small but looks scrappy and will probably be a beachmaster in the future. The larger one may also be getting old and losing his edge and ferocity in battle it looks like

[@TristanBiological]

@@TheMendo123 absolutely. He did mate with that female 5 times prior to this conflict, so that might explain why he's pretty chill with this bit of competition. After this fight there was no more questioning of the Beachmaster's dominance.

[@kevinlawson6188]

I'll be right back...after I eat 10,000 more fish.

[@aereiq]

@@TristanBiological still fought even when part of nose was missing.

[@ryansparks9257]

Imagine having to fight for dominance while trying to avoid getting your own face dongus in your mouth while also trying to get ahold of your opponents.

[@beeb5872]

I will never stop calling it a 'face dongus' from this point onwards.

[@w3ird_gurl638]

Giant Dic-

[@w3ird_gurl638]

@@beeb5872 Ngl Squidward must be mad he ain't the only one with a big nose🤚😭

[@malawianalphawolf]

The life 'Nice Guys' and Incels claim to live.

[@aliciawalker6624]

I cant stop laughing 😭😭😭😭

[@pavlo5551]

The sound they make is something that you can naturally encounter at home

[@gio-gioarmani2268]

The long pauses during the battle are like: ,,Oh hey dude calm down for a sec, my nose is in my mouth-" ,,Yeah same dude hol up-" ,,Okey done, lets continue"

[@carlosbalazs2492]

Nah, those pauses are bathroom breaks

[@averyniceguy3964]

Time to wait for the smartasses to comment and ruin the whole joke

[@RrRr-or5tw]

I mean that thing probably has its purpose but it really seems like a disability

[@nena_picante1425]

Lmfaoooo

[@BlueWallFull4331]

This was brutal to watch. Those bites and when he got him by the snout. That would of taken my arm off

[@TristanBiological]

They're so hardcore! We estimated that big guy (Beachmaster on the right) around 2000kg and just a bit under 5m long.

[@barbary13]

@@TristanBiological jeez thats crazy, and i've heard southern elephant seals can grow up to 4000kg!

[@TristanBiological]

@@barbary13 oh yeah, they're almost 2x as big as the Northern's. But their noses look a little less flappy.

[@flashgordon6510]

@@TristanBiological Wow! Must be amazing to see and hear up close and in person.

[@supernovagirl5741]

Yeah it's messed up lol

[@JeffBezosOfficial]

*Angel:* Alright god, we need a new sound for Seals to make. Any ideas? *God:* Okay, this is gonna be hilarious, hear me out.

[@marciliojunior9599]

😂😂😂

[@SkrunkyTheClown]

G E N I U S

[@richmondlandersenfells2238]

I guess the Lord has a good sense of humour.

[@Southern_Crusader]

These creatures are proof that God definitely had a hand in creation.

[@richmondlandersenfells2238]

@@Southern_Crusader Amen to that!

[@conorbennett7353]

You may not like it, but this is what peak male performance looks like.

[@Gravitatis]

w

[@jamez2022]

Me: has violent diarrhea* Elephant seal: "I'm fine how are you?"

[@Halfhaphazard]

lmaooo

[@bastykino5357]

YO YOU WANNA FIGHT FOR THE GIRLS?

[@Web-Slinger42]

Seal 1: "All women are queens" Seal 2: "If she breathes she's a thot"

[@Atomicallyawesome.]

Wow the challenger sure came in a beast, he allowed his opponent to get some free hits off at the beginning and still messed him up in the end. Kept doing his war cry because he didn't even acknowledge his opponent as a true male. Wow... What an absolute legend

[@jakubgoaszewski7777]

What a Chad

[@trashrat8365]

You can hear the exactly moment the losing male’s resolve is broken too

[@endingworlds]

He was letting him get tired, like in a real fight.

[@k.r.99]

@@endingworlds Muhammad Ali style ^^

[@mysoncrumphaseveryinjury3853]

The losing one was in a bad spot as well-closer to the water

[@privatename7634]

She dipped out so fast. That’s so real.

[@raininggrey1165]

The most significant part about this battle was at this moment: 1:06 Truly magnificent

[@marcoAKAjoe]

Lol

[@dtop.flocka]

@@marcoAKAjoe 😂

[@samuell3bara888]

Thanks bro you made me laugh so much

[@mariadelacruz1153]

Imagine getting trampled by that

[@giacomoromano8842]

Bro, if that thing was charging at me like that, i would be running the fuck away and thanks Evolution that i am two legged.

[@seangallagher1947]

Props to the slightly smaller one for holding its ground, it was surprisingly strong too compared to the larger intruder.

[@human6826]

I think they are same one of them had the high ground btw

[@Whydoweneedhandlesagain]

That’s why he fucks

[@PrincipalSkinner3190]

​@@human6826 Please get your eyes checked, they aren't even close to the same size.

[@second4871]

I was rooting for him too, he had a good advantage at long range, he was faster, he had good timing. He was winning the fight with a big advantage, but he made a mistake - he went to close range. In the clinch he missed a bite and it was over for him.

[@bigbean2587]

@@second4871 The small one may have been faster but i'm fairly certain he was young as he made too many mistakes. The larger bull did not engage until he saw an opportunity, and you can also see that the smaller one did nearly no damage at all.

[@edwardelric880]

I love how the big one tanks like 3 or 4 bites in a row and then sends the smaller one reeling with a single bite lol

[@Rayedrgn02]

That scar tissue tho

[@ayemaeyalit3354]

A literal alley fight

[@sadsackkvisling9694]

@@Rayedrgn02 One reason I can't have tats

[@Rayedrgn02]

@@sadsackkvisling9694 That must be some insane scar tissue. What happened?

[@sadsackkvisling9694]

@@Rayedrgn02 Couple knife fights, bareknuckling, working with old rusty barrels, etc. Nothing special.

[@tankthomus]

The seal on the right basically won because he had the high ground. 3:25 The bull on the right strikes, and the left bull slips because he is on a slope. Probably why he picked the fight, pretty smart.

[@ConorCruise-hw4ql]

That and he was injured as you can see from his mouth, also the one who challenged him was quite a lot bigger in terms of weight.

[@thesunman]

good observation, hopefully I'll remember that when if I ever come back as one of these things

[@tankthomus]

@@thesunman Hahaha same!

[@tankthomus]

​@@ConorCruise-hw4ql Very true, that's probably why the Males evolved to be larger than the females. The bigger the male, the higher chance they had to mate with a female because they could win more fights.

[@viking197]

God: so what noise should the elephant seal make? Chipotle Sauce: yes

[@RelicOfTwo]

This. Is amazing lol

[@king6238]

Hahaha

[@gavinlamp5426]

I hear a hybrid of the Imdominus Rex growl, and 8 hours after consuming 4 Mexican pizzas from taco bell

[@rainyfriday6175]

Damn, homie lost his girl. I knew it wasn’t going to go good when the challenger just stood in the beginning and let him take those free shots without flinching.

[@ninjapickles244]

Poor small guy. I hope he’s living his life as a he deserves

[@amd1273]

Apparently that was not his girl.

[@randompheidoleminor3011]

Read the description That ain't his girl

[@fishfossils8858]

Lost his girl and got part of his nose ripped off. Rough day.

[@MOJAHED-XAN]

@r33mote Rip Half pp

[@whynotcaptaincrunch]

It's interesting how ritualized the combat is. The big one tore up the smaller one's nose pretty good, but other than that their fight seemed way more about display than actually trying to injure each other.

[@doot7779]

That fight was over once he tore off that nose

[@kirraha]

I love when he moves in grabbing the other male by the scruf like ''Hey Im TALKING to you!'' And the female is like ''Oka Ima gtfo and let the bois settle this shit''

[@egerusik]

That was a seal...

[@zerotodona1495]

@@egerusik yes, they are all seals

[@egerusik]

oh, I apologize for my ignorance. I did not know

[@egerusik]

They are really looks different...

[@SkippertheBart]

@@egerusik When males and females look different, it's called sexual dimorphism, and sometimes it's a doozy of a difference.

[@matias5817]

"Discord moderators battle for the right to mate"

[@kloa4219]

@Mason Murchison and troons

[@miguelsandigo1755]

When a 13 year old joins the board

[@bry756]

Right sure ...but guarantee? Dubious

[@SnarkyMalarkey]

i think its insulting that you would compare these badass creatures with discord mods

[@trillionairedan9052]

@Mason Murchison and they can't fight for shit🤣

[@Yazayala]

The elephant seal noises sound just like what I hear when my bro eats Taco Bell and goes to the bathroom

[@juanhomerodiaz6310]

The champ had speed, but the challenger was heavier, stronger, he showed the champ that he could take his power and not budge, and when he got ahold of his face he showed him just how brutal he could be. A great fight, both warriors showed heart and great sportsmanship.

[@dseanwest]

U sayin this like we in the Olympics 😂

[@uncle3134]

Yeah the champ could take his power but the challenger could take his nose lol

[@celtiberian]

The larger one also appeared to have a ticker skin on the neck. He fought more battles than the smaller one.

[@JonHop1]

@@celtiberian the bigger one is the dominant bull and not the challenger. What happened here is clear. A smaller bull was attempting to mate wit the larger bulls females so the big bull stepped in and tore his face off..

[@mitchellheuser8769]

I think the champ was who won the battle, the other guy was stealing his girl

[@lucasyates1893]

This is the best elephant seal fight I've ever seen. I've been obsessed with elephant seals for a bit now, and it isn't easy to determine what the critical moment of a fight is for them, but I think this captures one of those moments so well.

[@TristanBiological]

Thank you! Oh man, they're just the best. They're much more reluctant to fight than I expected, with lots more posturing than actual combat. But when they thrown down, it's heroic!

[@ilyavasiliev538]

@@TristanBiological By the way on the whole youtube this record is the best fighting video i have ever seen.Thank you for the montage.

[@peterlustig8021]

2:58 ripping the nose apart is the critical moment attacking one of the most sensitive body parts which they also use for mating rituals is a win

[@tommybohland3051]

Honestly most (not all) animals are actually very reluctant to fight it's just a survival mechanism.

[@tehrik0020]

@@tommybohland3051 Not really, some will throw down regardless of the situation, especially if they are REALLY territorial.

[@vivahernando1]

The smaller guy really took the action to the big guy .... this was legit awesome

[@Moslinov]

Ngl he had heart

[@oscarguijosa7881]

Dude almost got his nose ripped in half

[@Seankman]

An aggressive diarrhoea sound effect these elephant seals have

[@Andro_el_de_memes]

Nobody: Godzilla at the end of every fight: 5:09 (I didnt expect to get to many likes lol) (Edit 2: please, i am a triple graduated in spanish comedy i didn't want to hurt anybody feelings, crystal generation)

[@dripkingwavelord987]

Didn't Godzilla defeat Kong twice? And the MUTOs and Ghidorah before that?

[@lemongod854]

@@dripkingwavelord987 he means the way that godzilla always goes back in the ocean after every fight

[@sisd888]

L not funny

[@lepotato135]

@@sisd888 It was objectively funny. That is a fact. I don't have any sources, but it's a totally true fact that that comment was funny. Every other opinion is incorrect. Objectively. It's undebatable.

[@eliottdeletraz97]

This look so ridiculous

[@jonb2911]

The biggest lesson I learned in my childhood was. The moment an opponent has the High Ground, It’s already over. I knew who would win the moment they squared up. *Star Wars*

[@islamispeace333]

I learned this through StarWars. "Don't do it Anakin, I have the high ground"

[@jonb2911]

Yeah that’s what I was Referencing too

[@Ohpeaches87]

This is why i always bring chairs to fights.

[@Friendly_G]

And is taller than you. I think that's a good observation. Never fight a guy taller than you.

[@filipelimartins]

@@Friendly_G height isn't that important.

[@user-dm4gb2kr5v]

this is like watching a pokemon battle in real life

[@TristanBiological]

With the only abilities being tackle and bite

[@eatinggum9093]

Real life just like bideo game

[@tehuti5207]

@@TristanBiological And splash

[@andree1kk986]

Right lol

[@shrapnel95]

And sounds like Pokémon sharting

[@EvanSmith-cg2ix]

1:33 bro has the high ground

[@RyujinRoninReach]

If you look closely at the scars and bite marks they’ve been fighting for a while, not just each other but they’ve fought others throughout their lives for a long time

[@Blastanker]

The life of an elephant seal is that of Sparta

[@firetarrasque4667]

@@Blastanker Do not compare Elephant Seals to the goddamn Spartans Elephants Seals would never keep slaves, and if they did, they would not be afraid of them.

[@brentrebrab]

@@firetarrasque4667 my mans he was trying to compare their living conditions not morals😆

[@HiiImChris]

@@firetarrasque4667 are u black lmao, i don't see how anyone could possibly bring up slaves on a fucking video about seals. L O L

[@firetarrasque4667]

@@brentrebrab Yes, and the Spartans were a city-state of paranoid baby men terrified that their slaves were going to rise up and kill them all.

[@azryxthefolf6331]

"Let's take this outside mate." "We are outside." (I think that's the line from Happy Feet 2, Idk I just remember that scene when I first watched it.)

[@angrychimpanzee8621]

Yeah that is from the movie, good reference 😁

[@Crackdalf]

The seal on the right has way more scars on his body, I'd wager he's quite an experienced fighter.

[@bartdegryse9345]

like the quote i've read once, beware of an old man with the profession were men die young. something in that line,?

[@Robert_D_Mercer]

@@bartdegryse9345 I clicked this video for a fight, not wisdom.

[@bartdegryse9345]

@@Robert_D_Mercer lmao 🙈🤡

[@imyourmaster77]

And he was bigger.

[@silverecho1201]

@@imyourmaster77 The fat one is normally the one that runs a harem on all the females. The small ones sneak in and try to impregnate the females leading to fights like this

[@heckinbasedandinkpilledoct7459]

Everything about this is so ridiculous 😂😂😂 from the oblivious maters, the explosive belching sounds, the snail-like movements, the grotesque noses 😂😂

[@str8edgefreak345]

This is like when me and my homies foreskin wrestle for the last breadstick at Olive Garden

[@tlshortyshorty5810]

This man knows what’s up

[@dimorphos8916]

I always get that bread stick

[@Snow-xd4rv]

Wtf

[@matthewphillips1890]

What? 😐

[@notanonymous3976]

relatable... except for the biting

[@diaryofagoat-lass1023]

In all creation, no animal makes a more insane, non animal sound than these behemoths...

[@Talonflamez]

if there was a top five non animal sounding animal, these beasts would definitely make first place, along with elk and bellbirds.

[@Grimpus1]

@@Talonflamez Try foxes screaming thats crazy too

[@adwans1491]

Wdym Sounds like wet farts

[@akaviral5476]

Try me after a lil Taco Bell and you'll be saying there's uno mas sound in nature making this noise

[@FumanyuX]

Tf you talking bout they sound like pooping

[@eddsalad1461]

Only real ones cheered for the smaller one, he was already in action until that bigger hater arrived.

[@chachi9126]

Haha bro immediately went from fucking to fighting in less than 5 seconds

[@m.d.sharpe8892]

Hell nah, dude got caught lacking

[@randompheidoleminor3011]

Read the description lol

[@IAmFizz]

Hy I had money on his scary ass but he ran off🤦🏾‍♂️ he ran I said “get back here and beat. His. Ass! Stop running!?”😂😂😂

[@mikehunt9632]

Cripple Fight!

[@dwane17444]

The fact that I’m on the toilet while watching this is insane like KZbin timing wtf?

[@SumSock41]

i was cheereing for the smallest one, his face got severaly injured and the big guy had the terrain advantage being the top, if you're a seal make sure you mate at the top of terrain so they attack you from climbing up hill

[@InfernalLeo777]

Thanks, i usually transform into a seal.

[@potats1770]

the big seal was the original females partner, in the whole video in the link in the description, the female was trying to leave but the small male waited for her at the docks and mated with the female by force

[@potats1770]

@Martha Speaks its just nature doing weird things

[@potats1770]

@@Jr-mj3bw why are you so angry at them

[@meekgreek9922]

If only we could translate that into elephant seal grunts. It would be like a PSA for elephant seals.

[@alejandroespinoza5207]

“Do you wanna play BattleShits?” Is all that comes to mind when hearing them intimidation roars

[@danielholmqvist2713]

1:10 when they crawl down like that I just imagine a four legged mammal trapped in a seal costume trying to walking normally

[@huntercool2232]

Imagine being in the most important fight of your life and fighting to the death, while you’re unknowingly being watched by millions of humans on the internet who are comparing your battle cries to that of diarrhea.

[@TristanBiological]

I really didn't expect that to be the predominant comment: "this sounds like diarrhea". I don't think I've ever heard anyone make a sound like this from their body. But my analytics says the majority of comments are coming from the US, so that might explain it.