Valuable Minimalist Lessons | When I Feel Regret

[@Marianne_a_la_maison]

For reference, I am 53 years old and have moved eight times in my adult life so I have decluttered many items. There are three in particular that I truly regret letting go of - in order, 1- my childhood favorite book (A Tree Grows In Brooklyn) How I wish I had kept that copy. I have a newer version of the book but that first one was special to me. 2- an essay I wrote about my mother when I was in grade 9. I wish I had that story as my mother is no longer here with me, but I would have wanted to see her again through my younger eyes and words. 3- a plaid blue skirt that I reluctantly let go of because others made comments that it looked like a tablecloth. I loved that skirt. The fabric and fit were made for me. I got rid of it because I valued others’ opinions more than my own. You learn a few things with time and age. Decluttering is letting go of what no longer brings joy or meaning to your life. But I have fond memories of those lost items still to this day.

[@ElinLesser]

I know I'm a little delayed in responding to this, but can I just say, thank you so much for sharing. This was a beautiful little piece of writing you did, and it was so honest. It's sad to have let those items go, but it sounds like you are a very thoughtful, sentimental person, which is what matters most. :)

[@vickilennon2556]

Hi Marianne, I can relate to what you are saying. I have moved many times as well, and decluttered probably too fast sometimes with the impending move. I don't want to have that feeling of regret again. It has affected my ability to declutter.

[@angelajohnson4245]

@Marrianne Deif Oh my gosh!!! I feel so connected with you about the book "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn"! After having read it, as one of many, for a reading contest in middle school, I fell in love with the story. I found a paperback copy at a second hand bookstore and I cherished it for years!!! Quite some time ago I loaned it to a young lady who worked for me, a high school student, who also loved to read. But it was never returned. Every time I come across a used bookstore, I try to find a copy to replace mine, but haven't had any luck yet. I'm often told they "had" one but it just sold. ("We can order a copy for you"... I DO believe they are sincerely trying to help me.) So, apparently Betty Smith hits home with a lot of people. I could order a new one, but there was just something I really loved about having a copy that was already well worn and read. I liked knowing that someone else had shared the experience of that story and I could hold that in my hand as well. At the very least, I hope the young lady whom I loaned it to still has it and hopefully has kept it because she connected to the story so well. But, yes, I definitely miss that book!

[@santychr4606]

My advice : don't do decluttering in an extreme way....do it moderately... am 75 yrs., still active in life. This video is interesting !

[@Ballykeith]

@@angelajohnson4245 you can always buy used books through the likes of Amazon or eBay, unless that is you want the thrill of finding one on the off-chance.

[@midlife_minimalist]

I’ve regretted very few things I’ve gotten rid of (can’t actually name any) but I have a lot of regrets about things I’ve purchased over the years.

[@laurakeller6082]

Wish I could like this twice :)

[@TheEllaTB]

Very well said!

[@ElinLesser]

such a good point!!!

[@nancymelis2824]

Yes! Exactly! Two huge pieces of expensive exercise equipment that just takes up so much room and makes me feel so guilty if I don’t use them.

[@LisaNix2]

Truth

[@BouncyBrown]

I've regretted some clothes but I think I was romanticizing them and forgetting why I got rid of them. (Like people do after a break-up!) It helped me feel better to remind myself why I didn't save it (e.g. slightly too short, color wasn't flattering on my skin, itchy, etc).

[@ElinLesser]

Interesting point -- sometimes our relationships with our objects mimic real relationships in unexpected ways!

[@Fayinspain]

I like the idea of a quarantine box, if there's anything I'm not certain about getting rid of then I can put it away for a period (say 6 months or a year) and if I haven't gone looking for it I can be sure of not needing it in the future.

[@lindagray1809]

I put things in a box or bag and in the boot of my car. If I"m driving it around months later - it can go :) BUt I love the BUy Nothing groups...gifting is easier for sure.

[@thatswhatisaid8908]

Yes, i do this too. Mostly the item leaves, but if it doesn't, i feel better about keeping it. If i still haven't used it on my next decluttering round, it can go.

[@rebeccahayes9206]

Thank you for your honesty! This whole process of reducing “inventory” has been a journey of self-discovery. And what you have shared resonates with me.

[@Autisticheather]

I so appreciate your honesty. Boy this sure made me feel better. I just subscribed. Your realness is very refreshing.

[@ElinLesser]

Thank you so much! :) means a lot.

[@PinotNoir8469]

I've experienced this. I try to cut myself some slack for feeling this way. I purchased things that interested me, or things that I loved. It's understandable to miss those things when they're gone. I then remind myself how nice life is without the clutter, and I get past it. It can be a tough process for me, but definitely worth it in the end.

[@ElinLesser]

Love this! Thanks so much for sharing. :)

[@micheleharris9617]

I've definitely had regrets about some of the things I let go. I often find myself looking for something and then remembering that I got rid of it. Nothing major or serious but I definitely understand what you're saying. 🙂

[@laurenstylish]

Thank you so much for this video! Something in the last few months finally clicked for me and I started decluttering and working to be more minimal with my possessions, but coming from a place of let's call it higher-than-average-sticky-brain has made the journey more difficult but I've also been reluctant to acknowledge it (the cool kids wouldn't feel this way, right?). In the beginning it was easy to identify some things I could happily donate and just feel nothing but joy and lightness, but in this middle part, I feel like I'm confronting more sticky feelings and the realization that minimalism isn't the destination but a handy tool to allow for more purpose and intention - but I have made the realization my purpose in life so far has been largely to be a sophisticated consumer. So far I'm not finding it easy to pick another purpose in life, and that's a hard thing to admit, but while we're sharing the tough parts of the minimalism journey, there's some of mine. Keep making such helpful videos, I really appreciate your approach!

[@ElinLesser]

Thanks so much for this kind, insightful comment! I'm glad there are other sticky-brain people out there like me! I'm not alone! :)

[@tanyal7122]

This is a timely topic for me. I just recently had some deep regrets getting rid of some of my books. I thought , its okay they are on my kobo and then there was a.glitch and my account wouldn't work. I was so upset, books are my happiness. So I decided to upsize my bookshelf and allow some breathing space for books and I feel so much better.

[@MoonlitSunflower]

I recently decided to bring more books in to my life too. I find I will fall asleep to TV shows if I've seen them before, but not new t.v. so I figured the same would apply to books.

[@ElinLesser]

Thank you for sharing! Yeah, it's so true sometimes it's important to clarify those areas that are just values-consistent that maybe you have a little bit more of! (And books are sure a good category as your soft spot!) :)

[@elizabethpassmore5892]

I've allowed more books for myself again since I started home schooling this year. I already have an area for school so I place some of my books there too 😁💗💞 Books are almost most important to me.

[@kellys4703]

I was wondering if anyone has regrets about decluttering sentimental items/family heirlooms. Those are the things I find the hardest.

[@nerd_alert927]

I usually take a picture before decluttering such items. I really believe that memories are in the mind, that memories don't need the object for the memory to exist. So, even if I don't have the object anymore, I can look at the picture if need be.

[@Karincl7]

After 3 years of minimalism actually no ... but i have to say my memories are mostly in my head not as objects

[@thatswhatisaid8908]

I am still working through them. The hardest thing so far was mum's good china. I gave it to her cousin, who gave it to her granddaughter, so it's still in tha family, and she loves it! No regrets.

[@kellys4703]

I kept a few pieces of my gramma’s wedding china. But the funny thing is I have absolutely no memories of it being hers...it probably wasn’t ever brought out when the grandkids were around! So why do I keep it? Well, firstly I have an available spot for it in a glass-fronted kitchen cabinet, where it is displayed nicely and I see it often. And also because it is a tangible, physical connection to her...I imagine her as a bride, imagine her using her china, imagine her treasuring it (they were poor, I was even surprised she had wedding china). I use it once in a blue moon but will keep it for now.

[@rao433]

The things (whether sentimental or not) at the end of the day are things. You'll always relish the moments you spent with your loved ones. Everything else is superficial.

[@kathyhaynes6818]

The fear of regret is the #1 thing that holds us back from parting with items. I've had a few regrets, but thankfully, nothing so major that I lost any sleep. Most things can be replaced if needed. Right now, I have a couple of things in my closet that I'm struggling to part with, but today, I'll make a commitment to let them go. The reality is, I probably won't even miss them. I have to be brave enough to shut down that little voice that says, "What if...?".

[@ElinLesser]

Totally -- the fear of regret is powerful. But it's true--it's probably never as bad as we fear!

[@viktorijakarakulko949]

Just 6 months ago I've started decluttering like crazy: I knew I was going to move into a tiny apartment! So I had to declutter: fewer items - more space. So far I haven't had any regrets. It actually gave me freedom! If anything, through the process of decluttering I understood what I enjoy doing most, what style I like, what clothes I like wearing most... I am trying to live with intention and make better choices. It is a challenge but I know that this type of lifestyle suits me better - mentally and physically.

[@ElinLesser]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! That's awesome that you've been freed by your new approach to life!

[@kellys4703]

I love books too...real books. I have a Kindle and use it for travel but to me there’s nothing like a real book. I love being able to lend a good book to someone. Also I have a terrible memory so I reread my favourites every few years,

[@zenabraithwaite1934]

I am not minimalist. I do declutter and i am working towards trying to pull together my wardrobe so it is more flexible. I have a strong sense of nostalgia, so do keep things but i am still trying to curate things so they are ordered. I think you have to be careful of having too few clothing items. Way back when i was young and broke i had to take a day off work because my only pair of work trousers werent dry enough to wear because all i had was a two bar electric fire to heat a 2 bedroom house and dry the washing in winter!

[@ElinLesser]

Thanks for sharing! Yeah, we all have to find the right balance for us.

[@Juliealdean]

I have regretted things I have decluttered and I have had to replace items I have decluttered. I do not get rid of things just because I have not used them for a year. One example being my kitchen aid stand mixer, hadn’t used it for years but one of the reason for decluttering is that my kitchen was so cluttered that I hated cooking. Now my kitchen is decluttered and clean and tidy I am now using it.

[@Alys3]

That’s a good idea - stopping to think why you’re not using something and doing something about it!

[@ElinLesser]

Interesting point!!

[@maggiel6597]

I like this approach and try his approach for clothing but I don’t go out now. No need to out on those blouse but I know I can use them later if I don’t get covid 35 lbs

[@kathleenhill5838]

A long time goes by in between using my mixer also but I just used it today so it stays.

[@wiseforce7045]

@@maggiel6597 Hilarious 😂, made me laugh! Thank you!

[@patirving705]

You made me cry...in a good way. My biggest regret was throwing out a handmade dress my grandmother had made for me when I was young. I didn't even take a photo of it. I know logically that it is the loss of my grandmother that is the issue, but I feel so badly that I threw out a hand made item. Most of the minimalists I follow never talk about heritage items. I was the only girl left on both sides of the family...and so heirlooms are stacked in storage units. I know, I know...I need serious therapy, but seriously, these are the things that are so hard for me to get rid of.

[@helenheggadon6324]

I decluttered a summer skirt once and when summer came around again - I really missed it. I actually woke up with a little sinking feeling one day haha. I managed to find an exact replacement on eBay. I was so happy to have it back again. It hasn’t stopped me decluttering things, it just makes me more mindful. If I am unsure, I will pop the item in a donation bag for a little while. See if I miss it.

[@wiseforce7045]

WOW!; What a great idea. ! That is so much better than thinking and thinking it over it actually puts your mind in a clearer position!

[@ritalynb7070]

The only thing I have truely regretted decluttering was a small box of love letters from someone I lost. I decluttered them to "move on" and have regretted it ever since. I still mourn him & his letters quite often. After that, I listen very carefully when decluttering "sentimental" items. That said, I am not attached to a lot of stuff and I do not have a lot of sentimental items. I have moved 40 times in my life, mostly with only what fit in my car. This has always kept me more aware of what I need or care about.

[@ElinLesser]

Thanks for this example--I can see why that might cause some regret. And that's amazing that you've been able to let go of so much!

[@catladylifts6931]

hello, I hope I can help a bit. Just a few weeks ago I was forced to part with a lot of my late father's possessions. I was so sad I didn't get to keep anything. Most of the items were destroyed by poor storage conditions, and my mother did not want to keep anything that brought her unhappy memories. So I did not want to push to keep anything. The disposing process was too emotionally taxing. It makes me sad to know most of his things are truly gone now but I try to remember that he left me with many more valuable things - his personality, his chin, and some habits, sayings and good memories. I have also decluttered a few notes and photos from other people I now miss every now and then, so I console myself with the nonmaterial things that person has given me. I read a quote online somewhere that say we are the creation of everyone we meet, because we pick up on little things from people in our lives - new music, new foods, new jokes, etc. So we are never truly without the people we have come across in our lives. We just have different ways of remembering them now. And, perhaps, if you have any quotes from those letters that you remember, you can transcribe them in a special journal along with some other memories of your times together, so that you can bring back some of those memories to life.

[@lettinggoofego2622]

Bless you that sounds quite tough I hope you dont regret soon, always remember that the love you had between each other can never be destroyed it was much more powerful than the prices of paper it was written on ❤

[@kch4580]

I love how you call it a sticky mind set! I have that too and as a simple life advocate I can say I definitely find my regret towards letting go of the beautiful kitchen decor that I never used but love to look at

[@trailrunmel]

I agree. Back in 2012 I was so excited to discover minimalism, but I didn't quite have the correct mindset yet and I got rid of things by focusing on the number and owning the least amount rather than owning things I cherish or need. I got rid of a pencil skirt that cost maybe 20 bucks but the material was amazing in would never get wrinkled it was comfortable and breathable and flattering. I don't own many clothes but I never forgot about that skirt and have never found one that compared, so now I don't own one but I really regret getting rid of it.

[@ElinLesser]

Thanks for sharing your experience! :) Yeah, it's interesting how it can stick with us.

[@gabiboschetti2590]

thank you for being so open and honest ✨

[@confectioninfection]

yesss. so much this. i donated my favorite stuffed animal from when i was a kid (my lil’ poochie dog 💕) & sometimes i feel a little sad about it. i have quite a few photos of her so i know i at least have those to look upon, but i definitely have moments where i wish i could pull her out of my storage tote again... but then i remind myself that i gave her away so that she could bring enjoyment to someone that would actually play with her or display her instead of keeping her locked away in a dang storage tote & then i feel better about my decision!

[@ElinLesser]

So much wisdom! Those sentimental items are totally the toughest. Thanks for sharing :)

[@kathleenhill5838]

I have an old fox that I also had as a kid 55 yrs.ago. I was thinking I would let go of it now as I had recently lost my Mom and now nobody would care what I did with old kids stuff. I decluttered my yearbooks and grad gown last year, what's the point hanging on to that stuff?

[@awildandsimplelife]

What a brave decision!

[@lesliedaubert4250]

The only regret I've felt sometimes, is decluttering my jewelry. Regretting that I bought the items in the first place. Impulse buys that the "joy" didn't last long.

[@awildandsimplelife]

Agree!

[@wiseforce7045]

So.., this is my take on the regret of throwing some items away that you think you could have used and you have before once or twice like she was saying in the video. I personally think there is depth to it because our emotions when they rise up like that they're telling us something about our deeper psyche. Usually when women go try on clothing or buy an outfit you somehow think where you're going to wear it and you plan a situation around it in other words there is a life plan that goes along with that blouse or pants and there's something that you see and it's meaningful to you and it goes inside your subconscious mind. This acts like a peg in your subconscious mind of something that is important to you and when it's thrown away it's like part of your heart and your life plan that you know is important is going with it. Think about a special blouse or dress that you bought when you bought it what were you thinking of when you were looking at it in the mirror as you were wearing it? We women usually don't just think all that looks so nice on me so I'm just going to keep it in my closet; No!..., We have a vision that goes along with it and something joyful we plan around it., It's like a desire of our heart and so depending on what that outfit and those colors made us feel as we were wearing it and what we saw forward and that image in our mind at some point throwing it out kind of hurts. What do you think?

[@maggiel6597]

I am glad u bring this topic up. I still have that regret in my head “why did I give my baby gates away while that person does not seem to care...”. I had 4sets of baby gate extra large ones which could bend in wiredest angles. After I gave them away, I decided to actually order a dog. Now , we have no gates for her to walk around. ..... she bites everything. I am now using paper boxes to block the way and bought a fence for her to stay in in the kitchen.

[@rebecca6452]

I can relate. I've been intentionally decluttering for about 5 years, and occasionally have had moments of recurring regret over a few items. One item was a comfy chair that I didn't have a place for, and so I sold it. I was okay with the decision at the time, but over the next couple years had moments of 'that chair would have been perfect in this room in this house'. But that feeling was never painful, and I never didn't have a comfortable place to sit, and eventually I didn't have those regret moments anymore. It was like those thoughts were just more layers of letting go of that thing.

[@ElinLesser]

That's a beautiful way to put it -- layers of letting go. :)

[@icingcake]

No judgment here! I think it’s kind of like weight loss - there’s a glorification of extreme decluttering whereas I’ve taken a very long time - 12 years - to even get to where I am now and I’m not done yet. Now I can easily keep a few things to either use up or donate - I have more space (especially mental space!) now to choose to store something for a bit or to get rid of it. I don’t think people should feel pressure to just get rid of stuff just for the sake of having less if you will use it in a reasonable amount of time. Unnecessary pressure might lead to those kinds of regrets.

[@ElinLesser]

Interesting point! And thanks for the lack of judgment--it really means a lot! :)

[@almamagee9518]

I am taking BABY steps in decluttering, but just the change in mindset that it will help me be more peaceful and less scatterbrained is great. The hard part for me is to make choices because I like so many things! Trying to figure our which things are the most important in my life and finding a place for/organizing those is my main focus right now. Then after that, hopefully it will be easier to let go of things that are not as important. I am a work in progress, but so far I’m enjoying the process! Your videos are so peaceful and the bottom line is that I want that peace for myself😀. I also think that your point about remembering events rather than things is a great motivator!

[@ElinLesser]

Thank you so much! Yeah, the decision process is a really tough part of this. And we are all works in progress! You got this!

[@Marsolan]

First of all, very special video and thank you for being brave and willing to talk about things. I do not have regrets, yet!! It might be because I never did massive purging. I simply was not sure what I want out of this decluttering ideas and had other priorities at the time. I think this helped me. I removed unwanted, tired items very slowly and almost too late ( if there is such things), they were bad ;))) One suggestion I would have that may ease this for the future, is to go slowly. And secondly, put the "unsure" items away, attach a label with the date to review in the year or 6 mo and decide later. I say if we unsure, we can wait. No rush, really. I currently have a very small wardrobe that I enjoy, but it took me almost 3 years. Cheers to all!!!!

[@ElinLesser]

Thanks so much for the kind words and for sharing! That's such great advice--that we don't need to feel like we need to rush super quickly through the process. Thank you!

[@karenninascott]

Finally someone described regret pretty much as I experience it. The worst is when I rip a sentimental item from myself, because I have so many sentimental items, and find I could have used *that* at a later time. So depressed to try to replace something that was used by a parent or from some wonderful memory with some random stuff when I come to the point that it's what I need. The regret lasts forever.

[@saraeclipse]

I completely understand! I've regretted some items I decluttered but it only lasts a little bit. I remind myself it was just a material item. One recently was a book I had for years but never read. I heard a good review on it and then regretted not reading it. But I had it for so long and never did read it. If I really want to read it later, I'll borrow it from the library. I have regretted clothes I've decluttered in the past but then I found something else to wear.

[@ElinLesser]

Thank you for sharing! Such a good point about the library! :)

[@amma7244]

I’ve been moving towards a minimal lifestyle for 10 years. Absolutely there are things I regret. I’m a family therapist and also call it sticky brain because that’s what it is. The odd piece of silicone in the kitchen I forgot was meant to take the paper off of garlic cloves. Oops. It’s the odd bowl I used rarely that had one purpose and for things like dips similar to you. I think I’m down low enough on possessions now that’s less frequent. Clothes I have less regret because my size varies with aging snd letting of fussing over that has helped. I fight that poverty mentality that feeds the sticky brain.

[@ElinLesser]

Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment. That scarcity mindset can totally fuel a lot of this for me too!

[@tb.lr.]

Hi 😊 I'm so in love with your channel, I've watched so many videos about minimalism all across youtube but you always open up new perspectives that aren't talked about that frequently! Lately I've been thinking about a beautiful linen blouse I decluttered about two years ago and I wish I would have kept it. But at the end of the day I'm perfectly fine without it and I love all the blouses I have, I wouldn't even need that linen blouse! Thank you for the video, have a wonderful day 😊

[@ElinLesser]

Thank you so much! That means a lot. And thanks for the perfect example of what I'm talking about (and I can certainly understand -- a good linen blouse is a special item.) :) I hope you have a wonderful day, too!

[@DonnaCookAuthor]

Thank you so much for this video! Anytime I hear other vloggers say they've never regretted anything, I always doubt them. I'm not even done yet and there have been a handful of things I've regretted. But, it's never been a huge deal and the freedom I've gained from not having all this crap in my house is worth the occasional minor regret. I also actually like fewer choices because it does make things easier. I'm less of a minimalist, though, and more of just getting rid of all the things I don't need or want. I have, I dunno, a dozen pair of shoes which together cover all seasons. A minimalist might say that's too many but it's not for me, and it gives me the flexibility I need without being overwhelmed by a closet half full of shoes. Love this video and am very rapidly becoming a huge fan of this channel. Thank you!

[@maddiemalacopa1380]

Thank you so much for this video. I’ve definitely regretted decluttering certain items so it was really helpful to relate and your other thoughts

[@sofiaszari5090]

Thank you so much for sharing! I've been working towards minimalism for 2 yrs and you described my experience so well with regret and no one talks about it! Overall I'm still very happy with my decision to minimize, but yes, I do experience regret occasionally.

[@jenjenyoust]

Yes, this happens to me too and I'm so glad you talked about it! Also agree that this is just part of decluttering for people that had attachments to things (always a process of getting better and better). I've found, over time, it gets easier and I don't have that guilt as much as I used to. Thanks so much for the video!

[@TheEllaTB]

It takes me a long time to declutter an item, but when I do get rid of it, I have mentally processed the reason for my getting rid of it. When I think about an item I have eliminated from my life, and I feel like I'm "missing" it, I realize I'm really missing the memory I had with it, I'm mourning the dream I may have had to let go of.

[@TheEllaTB]

P.s. my 11yr old son liked your video. 🙂 He said, "she actually speaks like she is talking to you on video chat"💕

[@greendaybeanfiend]

I hear you on the regret front, I’ve definitely been sad for decluttering something I would have used one day or for an outfit I could rewear. That said, I do think my regret has decreased with time because I’ve whittled my things down so much that I actually understand what I need. Something that really mitigates regret for me is meeting the next person to take my item. Items I have sold on Facebook Marketplace make me feel good because I know they are going to a new home and I feel the next person will use them more. You mentioned having multiple types of shoes and that’s a specific area where I have reintroduced more things. For me, having less clothes means needing to dress them up and down more easily. So yeah, I need a bit more jewelry and shoes than I initially thought to do so.

[@leahtreck1083]

Aloha, thank you for such great videos. A few times I went to look for something and upon not finding it I remembered that I had gotten rid of it. Etsy bitzy missed it, took a deep breath and let it go. How I declutter is make 3 piles- 1 pile - throw out - 2 pile - think about it - 3 pile - keep. Really simplifies things for me.

[@sarahfrancescutti9873]

Love this realistic conversation around minimalism, the impact and reality of it.

[@aquariusgirl8454]

My biggest regret- getting rid of a mid century dresser. It was a great find but it was too large for my space. I absolutely LOVED it & still regret it 4yrs later:(

[@ashalter7235]

I love your videos because you really touch on some points other minimalists ignore. I relate to having those occasional moments of sadness when remembering particular items I've let go of, however I wouldn't personally name it as "regret" as upon further reflection I realize it was the right decision for me at the time. Most of the time, I think it's just nostalgia. Sometimes it IS a sacrifice, but I remind myself it is for the greater good of cultivating more peace and ease in my everyday life or facilitating a lifestyle that is more relevant to me now then when I acquired the item in question. That said, I'm a few years into this decluttering journey, and it is still constant process of working through emotions that come up and reminding myself of my goals. It does become easier as you become more practiced, but I'm not sure it will ever be a process devoid of emotion as some people describe (not for me at least).

[@ElinLesser]

Thank you for this insightful, open, and validating comment! It definitely resonates with my experience too -- I think it's possible that (at least in some cases, perhaps not all), people who say the decluttering process involves no emotions just might not be aware of what's going on internally for them. Maybe that's controversial to say, but I just think there are natural ups and downs, and it's pretty hard to be this perfectly level human all the time. And I think acknowledging what's happening can actually make us more aware and improve our decluttering skill. That's just my take. Love your thoughts on reminding yourself about your goals!

[@howbethdoesit5695]

Thank you for your honesty.

[@ElinLesser]

Thanks for watching and the support. :)

[@njb4896]

Thank you for sharing this. So helpful!

[@ElinLesser]

Thanks for watching it! :)

[@SusanBame]

Part of whatʻs going on with decluttering, for me, is *trusting myself* enough to know that if I declutter something I actually need to replace, I will be able to do that. Iʻll have the money I need to replace it. Thatʻs gotten me past the reluctance to part with numerous things: knowing that I can replace this if I need to. So far I donʻt think Iʻve needed or wanted to replace anything. And, no doubt, if I actually did replace something, the new item would be an improvement over the decluttered one in some way.

[@justnoticing]

I've definitely experience regret, sometimes big and sometimes small. Feeling regret and then reframing it in the ways that you have described is the way to make progress in the quest to live a life intentionally, a life with more meaning and less clutter. I still battle with wanting choice, comfort, and variety, particularly in my wardrobe but your suggestions will help me to let go of more, thank you.

[@changedoutlook]

Thank you for sharing your feelings of regret or sadness. I feel it from time to time but always guilty or bad about it. Lately I've been telling myself if I really want it I can go out and buy it and have realized I dont want it that bad and I actually get more out of my decluttered space. I am work on how to handle some of my sentimental things. For most I've taken pictures of them and journaled about the sentiment and memory. Which has been rewarding. Thank you!

[@TheLifeTidy]

I've been doing minimalism for about 5 years and honestly never experienced decluttering regret... Until covid. When covid happened, the thought that I might not be able to replace this item if I do miss it, which I've never actually had to do, if the economy doesn't come back or whatever added an extra level of anxiety to getting rid of stuff. But at the end of the day, it ended up just being an extra question I had to ask myself and answer and literally 99% of the time I ended up decluttering the item anyway, realizing that if I couldn't get it again, the sun would still rise and I would be just fine. 😊

[@ElinLesser]

Such an interesting point about how Covid affected your experience with minimalism! Also, agreed -- the sun will still rise! That's a good one. :)

[@TheLifeTidy]

@@ElinLesser I made a video about the subject on my channel if you are interested. kzbin.info/www/bejne/j6LEiKuQqLaga7c 😊

[@carmeng2982]

It helps to have some humor. We intentionally downsized and the house sold so fast I had to do a quick decluttering. Sometimes my husband will ask about a missing item and I’ll tell him, I guess it didn’t make the cut. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@jmsl910]

omg that is hilarious!!! same, same, same! i packed up our house of 22 years, two children & two dogs into EXACTLY 99 boxes!!! lots of stuff didn't make the cut, though i never said that!!!

[@kristie9123]

Yes girl! I have experienced this, for sure.

[@ElinLesser]

Thanks, girl! :) Glad I am not alone

[@theresahoward7216]

I think most of the ones I follow do talk about this. I think it depends on what part of the journey you are on and how minimal is your goal. When you are in a different season you may see the balance of yes I miss this item...but I miss the stress of too much stuff less.

[@nathaarta]

Thank you for this video, I was thinking that I’m the only one, for example with my 15th birthday dress..

[@ElinLesser]

Glad I'm not the only one, too! :)

[@nancybonarowski5427]

One of my biggest declutter regrets was my late husband’s army footlocker with his name on it. At the time I sold it at a garage sale, my sister even asked me if I was sure I wanted to part with it. Well, years later, I still wish I had that small memory item of his.

[@gabrielbutler1848]

Good morning! I am a designer/ artist and i am in the process of decluttering ( easier to help others than when it comes to our place !). I found out the same thing you did i tend to hold on to things( sticky mentality) Intentional living and simple living is what my spirit is focused on in the last 8 years . I laugh at myself and say i have to declutter in layers like an onion and when i let Go of items that i font use or fit anymore i have to say iGod gave me these and now that i dont use or fit in them then someone else can benefit and i can trust God if i need or go back to that size He will supply at that time! Thank you for your transparency and honesty of the process because it is a process one step at a time! Blessings sister

[@gr33neyes1000]

I'm quite new to the decluttering party and mostly I declutter things I truly do not use or need for whatever reason, but I do have a regret, it is so silly, it was one of my first big clear-outs and I decided to add a pair or earrings to the donate pile, I never wore them and I knew I had others to fit their role; well to this day I regret decluttering those earrings, they were just cheap costume jewellery but in my head they obviously went with everything, our thoughts can tell us such misguided stories at times.

[@nadinenc3097]

Only have regretted getting rid of very sentimental items, from my grandparents. Most was furniture that I couldn't haul from place to place.

[@ElfinMadness]

As an artist, its almost impossible to be a full-on minimalist, but I’m able to declutter a lot. I’m able to talk myself out of buying, but if my style dictates to the point of harassing me, 😄 I’ll try to promise it to myself at a later date. Decluttering and minimalism feels to me like a progress of appreciation of the most favorite things. I think its really hard but can be impacting in a positive way.

[@hargwaynegegziabhre8044]

I am glad you are addressing the possibility of regrets about getting rid of things. Specifically for those who take huge steps all at once. For me, the issue is collecting so much stuff & not getting rid of things so I have not experienced regret yet as I am taking small steps toward minimizing my items. But good video on the feelings you may experience

[@tanya1863]

Thank you for your honesty, I do the same especially with things loved ones have given or gotten for me , it’s downright emotional and difficult for me

[@Mamorulovers]

Thank you for sharing and being honest. I have felt the same way about decluttering

[@chaank1069]

Your channel is just wonderful. Thank you.

[@LivingWellMedia]

Thanks for talking about this! I will always regret letting go of a very nice quality pair of brown boots. That's the only decluttering regret I have but I really miss those boots...haha.

[@ajser5407]

Wow - what an amazing video! Thank you for sharing. The inspiration I need when minimizing gets tough!

[@jenniferlynn6836]

Mainly a v-neck sharkbite hem black sweater. It was getting worn but sure do miss that go-to” piece. If I would have known how difficult it would be to replace I would’ve maybe put it in a bucket with RIT dye and tried to resurrect her! Also a few dresses --but I don’t miss those until I see them in a picture--but the feeling of wanting that darn sweater back--GNAWS at me over and over; especially as it is irreplaceable.

[@ElinLesser]

Thanks for sharing your experience with this type of regret! I'm glad I'm not alone in having these types of regrets.

[@cherylj755]

My teenage idol was singer and actress Cher. I read something (she) said that-if she really likes a clothing item, she buys it in more than one color. That is something I have done to this day. I’ve ended up with many nice things, but too much of them. This channel is helping me look deeply inside myself and get some much needed “real estate” (as Elin says) and peace. 💆‍♀️

[@lateonaname]

I don’t think it’s a horrible idea to do that . My mother in law does the same thing and I’ve been very careful about doing it it at the right time- I’ve purged 3/4 of my clothing kon Mari style last summer and am adhearing to the one in one out now - but I found a shirt I liked last fall and bought every color I could after liking the first - brought in 4 shirts and found 12 to get rid of 😅 but they are what I wore nearly every day this winter 🤷🏻‍♀️ in my last pregnancy I found a flattering enough tank top and bought 5 or six of the colors but that is what got used ... not a terrible mindset even for a capsule- I only recently found a tshirt brand at kohl’s that fits me flattering and so that will likely be the only type I buy unless my body or their brand changes ☺️

[@cherylj755]

@@lateonaname Thank you for your reply. I don’t feel so “crazy.” I just love certain things in different colors. I love this channel and appreciate the comments. 💐😀

[@katiea.clayton2655]

Hi, Slice of Light! I am a new subscriber as of today and I love your refreshing outlook on minimalism. Thanks for all the great ideas!

[@ashaelfifa]

Regret is natural, for me it just like when we see an old pictures of us in highschool, sometime we miss it but it doesn't mean that we wanna go back. It's okay if you regret something you decluttered, you can buy it again with intention.

[@ElinLesser]

Such a good take on this issue! Thanks for sharing this comparison!!!

[@christinaoldham6614]

Such a wonderfully real video and take on minimalism. I'm very much like you, i.e. I essentially have a collector's soul. But I also like order and not being overwhelmed, so I've been working on minimizing for a couple of years now, and I do feel lighter. The one area, where I have the most trouble is books. At the heart of it, I think they (and having them in my library) define me and give me huge pleasure. So unless we move again, I'm cutting myself slack there, especially since many of them (older and rare) would be very expensive to replace. Anyway, I have occasionally missed or thought of something I've gotten rid of, but the regret usually fades, and like you, I realize I liked it but didn't use it regularly. However, it is so good to hear someone address the fact that it does happen. Thanks!

[@ElinLesser]

Thank you! I agree that maybe we can all give ourselves slack in areas that we value--that makes sense. Sounds like you have a beautiful book collection--I can understand why decluttering that would be difficult! Thanks so much for sharing!

[@katec9893]

I've experienced this too. There aren't many things I regret decluttering but I regret selling a beautiful pair of gold low heeled leather sandals, and a navy silk maxi skirt. I sold the sandals as I was going through a bad time and stopped going out to parties and events for years. And I gave away the skirt as it was too long and I kept treading on it, but now I'd just turn it up. There are a few other clothes I miss wearing but I think I decluttered them as they were quite worn, bobbly or no longer fit, I just can't remember exactly. I think it's all about mindfulness - mindful decluttering as well as buying. And decluttering slowly and thoughtfully rather than in a mad rush.

[@zmommy4044]

I've regretted many things similarly to what you mentioned. Even tho its not a big deal, i still do regret it.

[@sandramaki7819]

Thanks for this video! I definitely have had some regrets of decluttering but in the end, I realized that I really did not need the item because I didn’t use as much as I should. As you say, there is an element of sacrifice (or dare I say sharing )that we need to do. In the end, we really don’t need as much as we think. The simplicity and space gained are worth the sacrifice.

[@alexyes4290]

Once I declutter some kitchen items that ware my grandma ‘s. I’ve never used them in years but now I think I could use them because living style changes and it’s true, I can purchase this item new but they won’t be as valuable for me. That is one of my very few regrets in 4 years minimalism. Thank for don’t making me feel alone in this. A big hug 🤗

[@theresacurrielyons5992]

Thank you for your honestly. Regrets are ok but you're correct. The bigger picture/purpose is the main goal. Keep up the great content.

[@madelinemorphy1101]

When you mend a pair of boots or flipflops or a shirt, it gives it a personal value. Something that cannot be easily bought. We create meaning in our own lives. Meaning making can sometimes cause regret or sacrifice. I liked the part toward the end of the video that you talked about "living in the moment" and "living slowly".

[@budd20e]

So I definitely have experienced this. I've also experienced this with not purchasing some item and regretting it realizing I really would have used and loved it. However it has gotten easier with time. I've gotten more skilled at knowing what to hold onto and what to let go of and I now I find that a maybe box has really helped. While it slows the process down I find that it gives me the opportunity to see if I really do use an item. I know for some people this just is too tempting but for me it works and it minimized my regrets.

[@bex438]

I've only experienced declutter regret a couple of times and once I regretted decluttering a shirt that I hadn't worn so much that I re-purchased it, only 6o re declutter it after not wearing it again 🤔 Sometimes I think our fantasy selves can overly influence our thoughts, feelings and buying decisions. I have now been steadily decluttering and re decluttering over 10 years and am very mindful and intentional about doing it, if it's not a clear yes I don't want/need this I'll wait until it is. I think getting older changes our perspective too and now I'm in my 40s I look at my possessions completely differently to how I did when I was in my 20s,I've become much more pragmatic about life and what I own generally and I feel so much freedom in having decluttered over 80 percent of my belongings and living with less stuff.

[@wiseforce7045]

One more thing I wanted to share which I think is so ironic and funny which is the other side of the coin. I've also had regrets not to purchase certain things because when the time had come around to use them I didn't have them and I had to go out in a hurry to find that right thing which I had in front of me at that right time and I left to behind and to find it at the last moment wasn't as easy. I think it's important to keep a very healthy balance.

[@HappyLife-uf4sb]

Helpful! I got rid of my grandson and ship that he plays with in the bathtub, he hadn’t asked for it the last few times he bathed. Now that’s all he wants!

[@emma_dgml]

I totally see your point, but one thing I don't agree with you (and lot of minimalists in general) is number. Obviously in a reasonable amount, but I don't think that having several options for winter boots for example as you mentionned should not make you a minimalist. As long as you use and enjoy all of them, and you don't have hundreds, then fine. To me the point of minimalism is to truly use and enjoy what you have, would it be 33 or 45 items. So my take on it is screw numbers, I keep my 5 pairs of black boots since I wear all of them 😊

[@stefniemeyer8310]

When one’s options are less, it also makes one think of alternative ways of making what one has work, sparking creativity rather than being stuck in the same old habits/thinking. It also makes future purchases more delectable as one visualise how many ways that purchase will enhance/contribute to one’s life. 🥰

[@judygude]

Oh my goodness. I have stopped even trying to declutter because I regret way too many things. I think I’m obsessing WAY too much. Thanks.

[@ElinLesser]

Thanks for the comment! You can do it! :)

[@catzkc5488]

Using the Purgatory System has saved me from most regrets! Sometimes I will look for something and realize I donated it, but like you I almost always find an alternative I already have. I have re-purchased 2-3 books, but those ended up in the donation like eventually again, so I don't let myself re-purchase those again!

[@l.m.herrera8690]

Thank you for your video, truly appreciate it! I have been on a decluttering journey for a longtime. To be clear I am only decluttering, I am not on a minimalist journey, nor do I want to be a minimalist. I am in no hurry to get rid of stuff. However, I realize that I have an over abundance of stuff, stuff I don’t need or use. The hardest thing for me is knowing that I spent money on the stuff I have. So, as I continue to let go of items, I am very careful with sentimental items. I would rather remove Walmart, Target or Ross items than my small collections of: tea pots, Peanuts Gang, Milk Glass, brochures and other items that I love and treasure. I have so much other crap that I can more easily let go of without regret.

[@ElinLesser]

Thank you so much for sharing! And good point about distinguishing which categories f items are better to declutter. Such a smart step!

[@msaxon98]

✔️Thank you for sharing this! Great, admirable, honest, Truths. All key points! Every now & then I miss an item, but it's 'usually' not worth the space & cleaning of the maybe annual use of it. & A few are. & That is okay. Thank You!🌟

[@zabm3502]

For over in a while objects, considering alternative items to fill the same purpose. Knowing I have an item that will cover the same purpose makes it easier to let go.

[@suzettedorning9113]

Thank you for sharing about this issue. I've been decluttering my home for almost a year now, and there is ONE thing I regret getting rid of: a very thin turner/spatula from my kitchen. I kept a thicker one that my husband liked using, but got rid of the one I always used for cookies. I regret it, because now I'm messing up my thinner, more delicate cookies! I had it for years, and now know why. This will be the one item which I will look to replace. Lesson learned! Everything else I have learned how to live with what we have remaining - and it's so freeing to have less to deal with on a daily basis. By the way, your Tzatziki sauce looks so good! Is there a recipe for it somewhere?

[@ElinLesser]

Nothing like a good spatula -- I can see why that was difficult for you! And I've historically made tzatziki by just googling and using one of the first recipes that comes up. Now I just do it by heart and throw in proportions that feel right to me (so no official recipe, unfortunately, that's often how I cook -- for better or worse!). But thank you!!!

[@awildandsimplelife]

Thank you for sharing this. This is so true!

[@amiehegeman]

Yup and have rebought 2 items. Overall, it is a good thing though. I regret more the things I have bought and don’t use.

[@peabodysees]

Thank you for this video, Elin! Recently found your channel and am enjoying your content.

[@ElinLesser]

Thank you! :)

[@Stormy_Dawn]

I've experienced this as well. Any regret that creeps in from an item I've parted with, it's always items that were functional & worked great for one particular purpose. There have been a couple sentimental things but I immediately tell myself that I've freed space & I feel better. I have a huge appreciation for more of my things now. I still keep a lot of flip flops, I always will.

[@ElinLesser]

Thanks so much for sharing! I'm glad I'm not alone in this. Such a good reminder to tell ourselves about the freed space. :)

[@tracygellatly1267]

Yes, I've thought "I'll grab this for that particular purpose" and then realize that I don't have it anymore. I then think what could I use instead? As you mentioned in the video, ultimately stuff is just stuff, there usually is a creative substitute and the sentimental stuff for me I never think about because I made peace with it at the time of decluttering. The open spaces are what solidify my resolve to not refill my life with unnecessary things that I could easily use a handy substitute for found within arm's reach, not at the big box store or Amazon.

[@emilyrabatin4639]

I've definitely had regrets and I think I've learned that if you're in a place where your regrets are greater than your feeling of freedom, it might be best to take a step back and re-evaluate or put a temporary pause on decluttering, otherwise minimizing could be more damaging to you. For me personally, the freedom has definitely outweighed the regrets so for me it's been worth it and I've just had to learn to work through those feelings of regret.

[@nicoleselfe2126]

The fear of regret of losing an item you may actually want to keep translates into many areas in your life, and a lot of the time, you don’t feel the regret that you think you’ll have

[@brendasparks6234]

Thank you. Feel much better as I continue to work towards minimizing

[@iamjane9628]

I have regretted some things that I decluttered. But I can't recall what those items were, so I guess that puts it in perspective!

[@lynnehilton5787]

I have experienced regret a couple of times, but it does pass. It generally comes up when I get an idea and realize xyz decluttered item would have been perfect for said idea. However, at the end of the day many of these random ideas I have don’t need to be implemented! I’m learning to declutter my random ideas too. 😊 There was one time I regretted decluttering a particular book and I did purchase it again from Amazon. This experience actually helps me in my journey cause I know with most items if I really, truly want it again in the future I can, generally, obtain it again, which makes it easier at times to let things go.

[@elizabethpassmore5892]

I have experienced regret a few times. 1) Italian handpainted glasses my grandmother gave me for my wedding reception 2) some books ... went to the bookcase to loan or show someone ... Realized I had decluttered them 3) vintage dresses. Since college and prior really I had "collected" vintage dresses, mostly 40s-60s. Recently decluttered the dresses too "young style" for myself and had nothing to loan my nieces recently 🥺. I had the same feelings, and the feelings remained a while like an itch I couldn't scratch. But like you, nothing that will change my life. Just things, and even if irreplaceable, still just things.

[@jbourret]

Thank you for sharing this! ❤️

[@simplybeingme]

Love this video! I am also a minimalist. I have yet to regret it

[@thatswhatisaid8908]

There is a certain sense of satisfaction, smugness, and even glee, in repurposing another item to replace one that has been decluttered. I got rid of my wine glasses, then realised that they were the perfect size for drinking kombucha. But i have some halfcup sized ramekins which are perfect for the job!