Elira talks about her Aphantasia (No Imagination)[Nijisanji En]

[@TFBRamos]

Bruh, she literally can't imagine dragons

[@lilydafoxchan]

the scp "there were dragons" or the artist(s)?

[@Mercurial910]

This made me laugh harder than I think was necessary. Thank you.

[@whiinter1707]

best comment

[@maxiemuuum]

LMAOO

[@cursedcat9557]

"oh the misery i can't even think of selen and me"

[@Random_Fanguy]

"You're telling me this isn't normal?" I laughed so hard at this.

[@TensaiDragon]

I know right.. a few seconds before she says: '... i dont even see the word, its just blank! Aphantasia!? What is that?

[@Azumongo]

I had the same reaction when I was about 12 years old and couldn't read a road sign from like 20 meters away. "Wait, you're telling me it's not normal that I can't make out the letters from this distance?" I said to my mum. Ever since then I've been wearing glasses with really THICC lenses. Back then before that happened, when a TV channel said in an advertisesment that its image quality is "sharper than reality", I legit thought they meant that in a literal sense. And when playing soccer with friends I thought it's normal to figure out who's who by the blurry blobs of color that are their shirts. Kinda funny how all it takes is someone going "uuh... that's not normal, you know?" and suddenly many things about yourself make a lot more sense. Glad that Elira now finally found out about it.

[@potentiallyaheretic9281]

@@Azumongo I remember feeling that way when I learned about how being ADHD really makes a huge difference in a persons life. I recall what it was like to be in 5th grade math class and staring at a worksheet reading the same problem for the 40th time. How it would be painful to try to make sense of what was in front of me. It was incredible to finally have the right information after all those years of not understanding how my own mind worked.

[@w_ldan]

That got the same energy as people with food allergy "so it's not normal that my mouth feel numb after eat a carrot?"

[@twopunchman9598]

I had this exact reaction like a year or two ago, so understandable honestly. Like, I always thought it was just some kinda metaphor or something.

[@darthlmr7990]

3:08 "I'm schizophrenic, I actually have the opposite problem lmao" - Meisuki Gotta be one of the funniest things I've seen from chat in a while.

[@bassbusterx]

we found the schizoposter

[@ulrickts]

I've often wondered if I am on the schizoid spectrum as I have such vivid inner-sensory experiences. I'm a visual artist so the apple is not only recorded in painstaking detail, but it and its surroundings can be manipulated to a high degree (lighting, focal plane, atmosphere, etc).

[@rauntche]

@@bassbusterx the what

[@tetukotuko5431]

ah yes , the concept of pomu

[@flashtirade]

Understand understand The concept of pomu

[@Atypicaldillema]

Elira's immune to Pomu voices in the head

[@Thesupremeone34]

the fundamental integration of the concept of pomu into the underlying mechanism of your thought process p o m u

[@rauntche]

ぽむの概念

[@Doktor_Youth]

We soon will all be infected by the virus

[@byird7459]

Being able to describe how something or someone looks like without a visual in the mind is more amazing to me

[@Prodigi50]

Ikr! I legit don’t understand how that works.

[@iamzuru8769]

I mean, she has saw Pomu a lot of times already so if she doesn't remember that Pomu have yellow hair or red eyes then that just means that her memory is bad. Memorising and visualising are different things.

[@Korgmeister]

@@Prodigi50 Basically you have a collection of descriptive tags associated with that thing. It's a weird thing where you can't see it in your mind, but you know the thing when you see it.

[@TAMAMO-VIRUS]

@@Korgmeister Ah just like searching some cultured art you saw once thirteen years ago

[@Veristelle-]

@@iamzuru8769 Yeah, but when I remember anything, I automatically visualize in my head, and then go "Yeah, she looks like 'insert image here' ". Do you mean you think of it like factual information, say if someone asks what year an event happened, you don't visualize what the event was, or the number in your head; except with the appearance of someone? Like if you ask if Pomu has Red Eyes, we'd say yes, but would recall her appearance when asked to describe her.

[@teethcoat4274]

5:12 That one person in the chat saying "can you hear this AAAAAAAAAA" LMAO

[@Shft-T4b]

This must be nuts to learn about yourself in the middle of a chill stream just chatting with chat.

[@vicarus8425]

I find it sort of amusing that she completed OMORI without questioning once what is whole HEADSPACE deal was.

[@IronicHavoc]

Apparently people with Aphantasia who don't know what Aphantasia is will often tend to assume that what other people describe as mental imagery is more of a metaphor than actually imagined sensory experiences.

[@Kyle-774]

@@IronicHavoc Facts.

[@Mernom]

People tend to thing that their experience is the common one.

[@VaanOtacon]

One of the things about living with Aphantasia is regularly face-palming as people give you an example of something you don't understand, and suddenly you realize why. Thank you for my facepalm of the day, good sir.

[@Syusaki]

@@IronicHavoc stop don't call me out like this LMAO

[@predoarantes4641]

Aphantasia people discovering that they're the crazy one is always funny

[@Zircaa]

Lmao it is, just on a basic level It's really interesting to see them figure it out

[@sugoistalin7809]

As is people who don't have an internal monologue discovering they're crazy too.

[@Justic_]

@@sugoistalin7809 Wait, you're telling me having internal monologues is normal? I thought I was weird for monologueing internally!

[@sugoistalin7809]

@@Justic_ It's actually more common to have one than to not.

[@jjQlLlLq]

@@Justic_ Yes, internal dialogue too - ie. Talking with yourself.

[@sugoistalin7809]

To be fair, thinking of Pomu makes everyone's brain empty.

[@BenjiroSensei]

They became Pomu.

[@Link10103]

She fills my brain with other stuff

[@Makkovar]

No, my brain is full of Pomu

[@davidtitanium22]

Thinking about anything else makes me think about pomu She's literally in my head, help

[@Jet-BlackWings]

For real?? I was aware of this phenomenon and the different kinds of inner monologues people have, and I found both concepts extremely fascinating when I discovered their existence years back! I can't belive Elira has it LOL

[@Jet-BlackWings]

Oh my god- why did I write like this, jesus

[@potatopc9410]

Actually I thought I was just dumb so I can't visualise something in my head

[@RaySpartan315]

@@Jet-BlackWings lmao don't worry about how you write, it's all good

[@haoyu53]

Dude when I first read about aphantasia I thought it is an ultra rare condition that probably happens one in a million or smth... Now I know two vtubers that have it wtf

[@useraccount333]

Two? Who's the other one?

[@luminal8950]

I remember reading that self-training through meditation or doing activities which requires lots of imagining of a visual outcome, such as photography, helps people suffering from Aphantasia to gain the ability to form images in their mind, with some of them in their late 30s or 40s, so it's probably never too late. Of course the effectiveness differs between individuals, but at the very least it isn't an incurable condition.

[@karasuclips693]

Really? That pretty cool

[@esper6119]

personally, I can kinda make an image if I focus really hard on it? the real trouble is the way it seems to affect memory at least in some people(?) trying to make an image kinda gives me a headache, though, and/or ends up being fleeting? like, doing the purple-green thing and then vanishing

[@EphemeralPseudonym]

as an artist I can conceptualize broadly but if I try to focus on a part it kinda just zaps out of existence :(

[@dojelnotmyrealname4018]

I feel like the word "suffering" vastly oversells how important visual imagination actually is... It's not even an inconvenience. There's a reason why people who have it take years if not decades to figure out that it isn't normal.

[@jjQlLlLq]

@@dojelnotmyrealname4018 Yes, and I can immediately think of a BENEFIT from being Aphantasiac: You won't get involuntary gross images in your mind when someone is describing gross things.

[@WillKazeOh]

Funnily enough, I know a lot of gifted artistic people that have aphantasia. They can't imagine what they're going to draw or animate before it's 100% done, and yet it always looks amazing. Brain is wild.

[@liger04]

From what I've read, there might be a solid correlation of some kind. The odds of a director or scientific author having aphantasia tends to be measurably higher than the odds of someone in a less creative/logical role. It's like humans without a mind's eye tend to compensate by becoming much better at realizing their thoughts directly instead.

[@fortidogi8620]

Having no preconception of the outcome might lend itself to creative experimentation.

[@user-bkey]

you know thats funny i can imagine the shape of an apple, the texture, the shine on it, how it tastes and i still wouldnt be able to draw one for shit

[@fortidogi8620]

@@user-bkey well, part of that is obviously technical skill; you need the methodology and information used to get that color, form and shape onto the page and bouncing into your viewer's eye properly. those things can be learned either academically or through trial-and-error experimentation. the function of the mind that's missing in aphantasia is, as far as i can tell, more like if you were missing an organ or a sense with which to view that apple in the first place.

[@nodezsh]

They just sketch 'till it looks right. It's their way of picturing these images in their mind. There's a video of some aphantasiac artist explaining their process from imagination to finished product. Basically the sketching process is their replacement for their lack of a mental picture, then they just keep experimenting 'till it looks right. It doesn't necessarily mean their output is experimental though. They still have a style they're shooting for, they just don't quite know how it looks until they get there again.

[@KonglomeratYT]

When she realized she couldn't hear voices I was like, "Wait, can I?" And I just sort of stopped everything I was doing. I didn't think of anything. I just sort of prompted my brain to make a voice appear. Not sure how that makes sense, but then all of a sudden all I heard was Pomu laughing hysterically in my mind. And now I am in shock.

[@karasuclips693]

LMAO

[@kanra1283]

the fairy knows

[@arthurdescy8186]

You are already Pomu

[@aserta]

Anaduralia.

[@SimplySwayze]

I can't imagine not being able to imagine things. wait...

[@rjpeters15]

Already said it on a reddit post that linked this clip, but thank you for clipping this. This literally made me realize that I have aphantasia as well. I had no idea and had similar reactions to Elira. After looking it up and doing some reading, a lot of stuff makes so much sense now about how I act or even just activities I enjoy. Kinda a mind break finding out at all, but finding out through a reddit post and a clip about a Vtuber lol

[@karasuclips693]

Thats what im here for

[@IcespherePlaysGames]

That's rough, buddy.

[@IcespherePlaysGames]

Since no one has said it yet, I think you should know that when most people "visualize" something in their mind, it's not as crystal clear as real life or as vivid. You kind of need to unfocus your eyes and focus your "mind's eye". When people visualize things it's not as "clear" as they think it is because visualization doesn't superimpose an image over your sight. No one can picture an entire image simultaneously, parts fade in and out and keeping the bits you want to think about in focus requires a lot of mental energy. When people visualize things, like for example an apple, they mostly see the outline and know the color and shape, but all of it isn't rendered at once. It's a bit like when you look at something too bright and those green and purple spots cloud your vision. Also kind of how when you look at things, you mostly see what is in your central vision as your eyes dart around to look at everything in view, but you can't see everything in your vision simultaneously. For example, when I think of an apple in my mind, I'm thinking of the classic red apple with a stem and leaf, some reflection off the side of the apple and maybe some dots on it. If I focus on the leaf, the bottom of the apple disappears and color fades. If I focus of the dots, the outline fades and the stem disappears. TL;DR, you're not missing as much as you probably think you're missing. I hope this helps give some perspective.

[@rjpeters15]

@@IcespherePlaysGames looking it up, I saw that some people are like what you say. My mother being one of them. I talked to some friends too though, who are on the opposite side, more near hyperphantasia. I told one to picture a horse and she said “well a horse or a stable? Because I can picture just a horse, but if you say a stable, I have the background too as well as sounds and smells.” Which I know that is abnormal, but it’s still just wild that most people can see anything, even just a color or outline. But ya I know I’m not missing THAT much, but a lot of things make sense now about how I think about things, or various visualization techniques not being effective for me.

[@brigluernos]

@@IcespherePlaysGames Hum it's not all black or white. Everyone didn't experience the same experience. Yes it can superimpose an image over your sight because it's not the same neuronal path beetween what you see and what you think. In the exact same maner that people can dream or experience halucination in some cironstances. :O Myself i have 3 stages : Vision, both operating and brainproduction. And yes like our own vision wich isn't perfect too, it's possible to have a quiet good représentation and generate what you want as you want it. If i think about an apple i can move it in 3D, remember stuff, see it flat, 3D painted ... I don't said my though are allways " full quality" but it can be really good. And it"s quite common between readers, artists or other intellectual professionals. You can train it in a way. And that type of stuff is waaaaaaaaay far from capacities that some people are able(d) to do like Nicholas Tesla or some aspergers. It remember a case of an asperger able to capture "brain photography", for exemple. Many vidéos exist on the net ;). Aphantasia is a super interesting field. It's not far frome thoses people who absolutly can't remember faces ( real clinic issue ) or people who are able to see and approximately know what stuff are around them and despite this fact be physically and mentaly blind !

[@silverleon777]

It absolutely blew my mind when I learned about aphantasia, the idea of not being able to view or create images/ "scenes" (videos?) or listen to sounds/ music whenever you want or just imagine stuff in general is...ironically enough, something I can't imagine. Especially as someone with hyperphantasia which is the complete opposite (overactive/ extremely vivid imagination) and with various types of synesthesia (co-relation of different senses when thinking of or imagining certain stuff or during certain situations) so in my case I'm basically imagining stuff all the time whether I want to or not, even when I sleep I usually have dreams/ nightmares more often than not, it's basically impossible to "empty my mind" and think of nothing.

[@karasuclips693]

Ineresting

[@alcoholdonkey]

Same dude, I have a habit of conjuring up epic fight/ adventure scenarios in my mind and get an adrenaline rush from it being so vivid. Never considered the reverse could be true too.

[@87axal]

Interesting! But there's one thing I want to clarify: "thinking of nothing" and "not imagining" is not the same thing. Maybe you're used to thinking everything in images and voices in your head, but that's not the same for everyone. I'd claim to have below-average visual imagination, but that doesn't mean my thoughts wouldn't shut up for even a single second. Because they don't. I'mjust not constantly flooded with sensory imganiations, but raw thoughts of concepts, and lots of internal monologue. Not remembering clear visuals of an embarrassing moment in my life doesn't mean that I can't recall the embarrassment and hoe impactful it was, for example. So having a bad mental imagery doesn't mean your head is empty. It's just filled with other things.

[@silverleon777]

@@87axal Ah sorry I didn't mean to imply that, I guess I misworded it. I'm not trying to say that people with aphantasia or without hyperphantasia think of nothing or have empty minds or anything, I know most people usually have a lot going on in their minds regardless. What I meant is that I've never been able to "clear my thoughts" or "empty my mind" through my entire life no matter how hard I try (or don't try?), which is something most people seem capable of or experience every now and then and something that "supposedly" people with aphantasia have an easier time doing.

[@87axal]

@@silverleon777 I see what you mean, but I can assure you I don't understand the concept of "emptying your mind" as well. I have ASD and probaly also ADHD, so...there's that.

[@phased-arraych.9150]

I like how Elira is discovering a whole new realm of possibilities. And yes, I can imagine a 3D apple, put it in my hand, and take a bite out of it. Mmm, a Red Delicious.

[@NewGuy1414]

Is this Mysta? Red Delicious? Atleast imagine a good apple my guy.

[@Justic_]

@@NewGuy1414 I mean, there are red apples that are delicious. Red are generally the sweeter ones, also mostly relevant for baking or apple juice, while green ones are generally more sour, as far as I'm aware.

[@Justic_]

Now I'm starting to doubt my own fantasy. I have no problem imagining the sound of taking a bite out of an apple, the smell and taste of it or even simulating the weight of it in my hand, but while I can also picture it in my head, at least conciously trying to do so right now... takes a second, and even then the result feels kinda unclear, like if there are 5 overlapping pictures at once. Imagining it in 3D takes a bit longer, but it's strangely clearer.

[@xXzman9000Xx]

@@Justic_ this sounds similar to me. i can imagine a 3d environment and moving through it, if i imagine it just like static thing, like i'm looking at an image it gets hazy. but if i imagine spinning around walking or turning it gets very clear. i'd take a guess (without knowing much about the brain) but the brain constantly having to change and generate new images might make it clearer then focusing on the same image... think of it like refreshing the image, if you stay on the same image too long it degrades. maybe to test, try to imagine an image on a piece of paper and imagine that paper twisting back and forth, basically try to imagine an image but moving. works for me.

[@Lucaz99]

Is that what you’re supposed to see? I might have aphantasia too

[@Tylran]

This is so weird. I was just talking with my friend today and I menationed that Elira speaks like my aphantasiac girlfriend. Like being overtly specific with descriptions and using a lot of phrases like "you know?", especially after descriptions. And now she's talking about it.

[@haoyu53]

Can you elaborate more on the "being overtly specific with descriptions" stuff? From a quick google search there's apparently 2%-5% people with this condition, maybe I can spot one among my friends

[@Tylran]

@@haoyu53 So, my girlfriends tends to explain scenes to me in a detail that's sort of excessive. Might be just a thing she does, but instead of saying "a red sports car" or a "black-and-white dog", she would sometimes describe things while recounting memories like "a red car with a low frame, wide tires and all that" or "a black dog with cloud-like spots of white". She says she tries to describe things extra accurately because that's how she constructs a scene with just words in her head.

[@haoyu53]

@@Tylran Oh so it's like their memory is only in text form? Cool thanks for the explanation dude

[@rjpeters15]

your comment ended up on a reddit post and it was through that that I learned I have aphantasia. So thank you for this!

[@Tylran]

@@rjpeters15 What, really? Well, good for you. Why did I get quoted on a reddit post? :D

[@justaloaf2698]

there's no way I just fucking learned I have aphantasia from a vtuber clip that starts with talking about omegaverse

[@ShoggothLord]

I first started to grasp how diverse neurotypes really are when I found out how my bestie imagines things. He visualizes objects as fully detailed and photorealistic...except his brain also fills in the insides to the best of its ability, he sees all the insides and outsides at the same time, and he sees it from every direction at once. He isn't looking at it as much as...acting as 3D rendering software.

[@dimitrihinds9583]

This is exactly how I imagine things as well, me and your bestie should be imagining besties

[@DeviousHands]

Hyperphantasia (i believe that is the name) exists too, and a 3d modeling software is probably the best example I've heard of describing it

[@marekdec8605]

If you can see the inside and the outside at the same time, that’s not 3D, that’s 4D.

[@jasonchangdalekrule]

@@marekdec8605 Nope, that's still 3D.

[@uselessprotaganist7444]

Hyperphantasia is actually meant to be a few times more common than aphantasia from what I've read online. Definitely sounds like what you're describing.

[@chetawanung-adjmagool9967]

The absolute shock of people discovering they have aphantasia is the moment they realize that "picture a ....." is not a figurative speech but something many people can actually do lol.

[@amberamour8648]

Yeah, for me the eye-opener was not that my head is empty (that's my normal after all) but that others' aren't. I can see images in dreams, though, or imagine sounds

[@Mernom]

I had an active imagination as a kid, creating OC's and having fight scenes for them in my head. Today, I can clearly recall scenes from anime I watched, and even 'render' new scenes based on non-visual content (like books), though in less detail usually. I think it must be at least partially a learned skill.

[@pineapplesatan3895]

I don't think it's much learned skill, I made characters when I was little and made up stories for them but if I was ever asked about their appearance or the likes I was never able to visualise it or describe them

[@useraccount333]

Same! Like, my "internal monologue" is so good at mimicking voices, I sometimes have trouble distinguishing things someone said and things I imagine they said.

[@reddytoplay9188]

@@useraccount333 you might have something called hyperphantasia, opposite of aphantasia

[@VainSick]

Same, I literally had a ritual like behavior when I was young my parents called “the dance”, long story short I could create or replay visual scenes in my head in full motion with varying detail, but I couldn’t and still can’t replicate sounds in my head other than my inner monologue which is just my own voice and none others, so as a result I would often make the sounds vocally to fill in that gap, I also would move around randomly as if dancing hence the naming and this in my opinion was likely my child like excitement of the scenes just coming out especially since I had very active ADHD back then.

[@VainSick]

And to further elaborate on my last comment, I think this uniquely relates to how I sleep also, I often speak or make noises in my sleep according to family and I have even woke up mid speech, I think my inability to imagine the sounds means I make them myself to some degree while sleeping, I also move around in my sleep but that could just be adhd or restlessness idk.

[@87axal]

This video has 10.000 views, lets assume that represents 10.000 people who have watched this video. Aphantasia is not that rare, about 2% of all people have it, but to this day, not many people realize it's even a thing (like Elira). So going with that, roughly 200 people watched this video and thought: "The heck, that is me!"

[@rexwang8862]

The heck, that is me!

[@tomtimko9185]

The heck, that is me!

[@pitz968]

I clicked because I thought, “Hey, that’s me!”

[@basin5502]

The heck, that is me!

[@OverseasFan]

Why are vtuber clips the way I learned about a condition I seem to have lmao

[@DB240sx]

I was watching the stream live and couldn't tell if chat was trolling her or not. Seems like we might be in the same boat, lol.

[@mclaindog1642]

Same sadly it explains a lot i knew I was a bit different with the image problem. But it was honestly the first time I've heard about being able to visualize taste and sound. I can barely visualize pomu for a fleeting moment then its gone. Maybe songs getting stuck in peoples head is a different feeling as well o.o

[@aheumedivirtoXD]

@@mclaindog1642 It's very interesting and it's so normal in our lives that we don't even acknowledge it. From time to time people come up again with those .gifs of a heavy object falling on the ground and shaking the camera on loop, saying "try not to imagine the sound" and we notice we simply cannot avoid hearing mentally what a falling heavy object would sound. I like challenges so I've spent lots of minutes trying to make the image go silent and failed. If someone asks me to imagine me biting a lemon, my mouth reacts like I did, with more saliva and all, but with half intensity. But think on the positive side: when poeple try to troll you describing nasty sh1t, you can remain in peace lol

[@aheumedivirtoXD]

Do you know what really is crazy? Search for synesthesia. People who not only imagine sensorial things like the majority but they naturally mix everything up, like, hearing sounds when seeing or imagining colors, or seeing colors when reading or thinking of letters

[@c4k3yyz]

Wahaha, I’m an artist with aphantasia, and i find elira’s sudden awareness relatable. although i used to have mental imagery when i was little, up until age 10~ 12ish, it wasn’t great enough for me to remember. so when i discovered that other people *still* could see things in their head, i was a bit dumbfounded, and jealous. due to my previous unawareness, i thought that losing the minds eye was losing my childhood imagination, and maturing into an adult. for those who aren’t artists, you probably imagine my process to be very difficult and to have fruitless results, but that’s not true. although seeing things in my head would be super helpful, things sort of just come to me- if that makes sense? i animate, i make up my own poses, i express myself best through character design, and my art style is very experimental. because of my lack of mental “imagination” (i find saying that us aphants don’t have an imagination is derogatory), i excel at copying things down to every detail, because i can’t get distracted at all. there’s pros and cons to both sides of the coin. personally, i find the worst thing to be is not having access to my memories. i know things have happened, but ill never relive them unless i am given a photograph or video. it makes me very sad at times. if theres anyone else here with aphantasia, im curious on how you deal with your memories~! shameless plug, but if you want to see my art my instagram is c4k3yyz, i post a good amount

[@pitz968]

As an aphant I think of memories in concepts too. I’d say it’s a more factual representation of what happened, as we remember things that stood out, and not as a sensory memory which might have changed/weakened over time. The most annoying thing for me is describing people I’ve seen, but not paid attention to. I can for instance only recall what color of hair they had when it registered in my mind while seeing them.

[@TheBayzent]

What happens if you do LSD, mushrooms or PCP? What about DMT?

[@VainSick]

To be fair every product of imagination is just an altered product of reality, it’s literally impossible to imagine something that doesn’t exist, so technically no-one has an imagination by assumed definition. So don’t get bent out of shape over the imagination thing, all our creativity is previous data being reused and altered.

[@_paixi]

I completely lost my ability to visualize growing up but I can still imagine touch and somewhat sound, scent and taste. This won't help if you lost all sensory imagination but when I paint I focus on imagining how the form of things feel as though I'm sculpting them by hand. I also struggle with a bad memory so I try to physically involve myself with things to remember them, even if it's just taking notes in handwriting, being aware of how I'm sitting or standing, imagining doing something or imagining how others feel by how they're sitting or standing. Often I forget what people said but I never forget their posture, so I pay more attention to that and often it helps me remember what they said, at least when they care about what they're talking about. It also helps with learning other languages when I can hold an object in my hand and feel it while learning the word for it, otherwise it just goes in one ear and out the other.

[@c4k3yyz]

@@TheBayzent im really curious tbh. i wouldn’t be able to provide an answer since im just some other teenager LOL but im sure if you dug deep enough, there would be someone out there who tried this out.

[@DuskcloniumZ]

For some reason this reminded me of the story of the guy who watched shrek so much, he was able to watch it from his mind. But this was funny to see Elira find that she had Aphantasia and learning it’s not normal

[@esper6119]

I haven't watched this yet, 'cause i'm boutta hit the hay, but as someone with aphantasia, I got way too excited seeing this? people are always so surprised that i can write scenes they can imagine so vividly (apparently???) while being completely incapable of doing so myself

[@alf2007]

I get that too. Even though I hate writing, I was pretty good at it in highschool. I think that is one of the reasons I love reading because the more words I know the more I can describe something without being able to see it in my head.

[@shafwandito4724]

@@alf2007 So the key to be a good writer is.. Having Aphantasia?!

[@presh.]

BRO THIS VIDEO LITERALLY MADE ME REALIZE I HAVE APHANTASIA LMAOOOO WHEN I CLOSED MY EYES TO VISUALIZE AN APPLE I SAW NOTHING BUT I CAN THINK ABOUT IT JUST LIKE ELIRA DESCRIBED IT NOW IM HAVING A BREAKDOWN LOL

[@Psecter]

Yeah aphantasia gets pretty freaky when having dreams had a vivid dream where i look at a woman and my brain tried to figure who it was swapping every eye, mouth and nose it failed and i never saw the woman's face.

[@karasuclips693]

Sounds like you saw a biblically accurate angel in your dream

[@Psecter]

@@karasuclips693 kinda something like that, body shape and size also changed after a while it's like knowing someone is smaller than you although you don't really know how small you just know they're smaller and shrink or get bigger sometimes but not taller than you. Because of that i tend to snap out and lucid dream

[@kevsonkeyboard]

You Picasso'd your dream figures?

[@billycheesesteak3877]

I was just wondering how you even have dreams if you can't visualize things? Especially vivid ones! I really can't even comprehend how memory in general would work with this condition.

[@Psecter]

@@billycheesesteak3877 aphantasia isn't like a complete no more visualization although some can't imaginate things at all, some can't imagine moving things like imaginating pictures, all im saying is aphantasia has a lot of different types.

[@vonPeterhof]

4:46 lol that one person with synesthesia in chat

[@univrs_]

"you dont see the sound waves?" 😭 no sweetie we cant

[@billycheesesteak3877]

I see Soundwave. He is a Decepticon.

[@wizdumbisdumb]

as someone who also has aphantasia i totally relate to her!! for me i thought when people say to imagine stuff they just meant to remember where things are placed, what color, shape, etc, not that they actually see it. all that time i thought i really was imagining things, but i was just remembering what each object looked like

[@peted2783]

0:30 AU is the abbreviation of ‘Astronomical Unit’, which is the distance from the Earth to our Sun, roughly 150million km. Coincidentally, it is also the chemical symbol for the element Gold Wow, didn’t know Ewiwa was something of a scientist herself

[@13chippedreeds2]

That's correct, but I'm pretty sure the AU that Elira was talking about was the abbreviation for the term "Alternate Universe", which is something that is pretty common in fandoms, where fans will create an alternative outcome to an event that takes place in a franchise. It could be because they don't like how the story goes, they want to experiment, or any other reason.

[@cryingnachos2711]

Get your condition diagnosed by hundreds of people in chat immediately about something you thought was natural up until that point. What a plot twist.

[@d007ization]

As with all things mental, things are gradual, the images in my mind are barely there, as I'm sure is true for most. "Seeing an apple" feels a bit strong a statement when the visuals my eyes provide are so much stronger. Damn though, Elira can't replay music in her mind? That's parts fortunate and unfortunate.

[@seisoch6969]

i think she can remember and "play" stored sounds in her memory as long as she remember the song, but imagining new sounds or new things is gonna be hard

[@d007ization]

@@seisoch6969 Has she said this?

[@L.A.M.B_B4]

Imagine dragon the- Elira: I can't

[@davidtitanium22]

The diversity of how we perceive things convinces me that we probably all see different colors but we just agree on names for the wavelength combinations

[@karasuclips693]

I think about this sometimes

[@brilleon]

"The Concept of Pomu"

[@ShellC_blts]

It's interesting to see about this, i remember having a friend who had a similar thing but limited to only not dreaming. Also is kinda funny seeing people with things like this realize about their condition and having their whole world view twisted

[@carnivoreking875]

As someone with Hyperphantasia, I have so much difficulty comprehending how a person with Aphantasia can even form thoughts. Every thought i make and decision i think through is via images in my head xD

[@myth5588]

Best way I describe it for you would be like a all our thoughts are written in a book with details and descriptions highlighted, even though thats not really what it's really like. This doesn't mean no imagination, just a different type of it, I can imagine concepts so detailed I don't have the words to quickly describe them, just concepts that describe the concept of describing it quickly. For example I have an half dragon OC like something you'd see in DnD, if given enough time I could describe him down to the stitching on his scabbard and the cracked scales from old wounds. Aphantasia doesn't hinder my imagination and has given me an attention to detail that I find very useful.

[@saulekaravirs6585]

My brother is like Elira in this. He can;t visualize things in his head either. He also likes reading a lot. I, on the other hand, have built a car in my head. Over the course of a couple of months I modeled all of the parts for an engine, transmission, the rest of the drive line, and most of the parts of a body. Although the body was not super detailed. Once I started making headlights and detailed on the grill and bumpers I could not see the whole thing at once. I could look at the front of the car, but from the end of the hood back would be out of focus. Like my brains way of dealing with not having enough "RAM" to store the whole rendering at once. And it would take me some time to be able to move around to see/ work in the back if I had been working on/looking at the front for a while. Unfortunately I could not drive it. There was no surface to drive it on. It was just there. Sitting in free space in my mind. but I could run the engine. Though it ran a bit rough. I didn't know how to make lubricates is what I'm going to blame that on. Friction was always way too much, way to little, or just not there. And I had issues with gaskets and o rings. Piston rings didn't work too well, mainly because my gas dynamics were bad in my head back then. I did that all back in high school, probably sophomore year. Now I have a degree in mechanical engineering because I wanted to know how all of the stuff worked better. my gears were crap because I didn't know how to make an involute curve. I could probably model all of that stuff way better in my head now just because I know it all better. But I wonder if my more aged mind could would be able to handle all of the "data" that my high school" aged mind could.

[@QuesoCucuy]

I love how focused she is on the Apple

[@Levio100]

Good news, Tulpamancers! Your Elira tulpa will be unable to create her own tulpas, thus avoiding a Fantasia scenario.

[@willcollings5681]

I'm so glad to have found someone else with aphantasia. I've been saying this for literally my entire adult life and nobody believes me that this is a thing!

[@kronksstronkstonks6360]

Recently learned my best mate, who I've played DnD with for almost a decade btw, has Aphantasia. Interestingly he forgot we can imagine stuff, hence why he never brought it up. As the DM it explains so much, but it baffles me how bizarre DnD mustve been for him. Surprised he's as invested as he is considering handouts and maps were literally not used before now. Now handouts and battle maps are much much more prominent in the game.

[@MrZilvis78]

I'll admit I'm in my 40s and never heard of this disorder but it's wild if someone has something so different and ends up finding out because the tiny possibility existed they ended up a vtuber, in a big company, became popular, and had a fanbase who knew what this was. I would think the odds of ALL of that happening are ridiculous. Likely those of us without this has no idea what she really means when she says "I know what something is but I can't see it in my brain" odds are it's a thing we take for granted like someone who's never used their eyes or ears but are told what something looks or sounds like.

[@God_Anime]

Woah I’m literally mindblown for real 😮

[@darksaiyan2006]

I dunno if you can call it a disorder if it never really affects your life to the point that nobody realizes until many years down the line, when there are multiple eyes on you. Apparently some very skilled artists can't visualize things and yet are still able of wonderful works of art. The ability is probably more subconscious than in most people who can visualize at will.

[@uselessprotaganist7444]

It was first discovered because a scientist in the 1800s was sending out surveys to gather data on how detailed mental images tend to be for different people. A small percentage of people ranted to him about how he must be insane to suggest something as absurd as literal mental images. Until people are directly confronted in a very explicit way like this, I think they just assume all the talk about mental images are metaphorical. Most of the time that interpretation still works and lines up with how someone with aphantasia experiences reality.

[@reicelestial2478]

I can't even imagine (heh, ironic) what it's like not being able to visualize stuff in your head

[@Linosek279]

I love the phrase “The concept of Pomu”

[@bird5007]

Its kinda like you learn facts about something, its so cool to me that Elira has it too!

[@rinnnnnnnnnnrinRinOnishi]

Can't wait for the ewiwa existential crisis arc

[@Maldito011316]

I can replay sounds in my head or imagine certain people speaking words or phrases

[@evapunk333]

Wow...that's so interesting! I have never heard of this before. I mean, she obviously doesn't know what she is missing since it's probably something she has always dealt with, but not having an imagination would make me VERY different because my imagination is such a big part of my life.

[@-lunaiko-3310]

not elira making me find out I have aphantasia during this stream tho 😭

[@spiralhalo]

For some reason I instinctively start visualizing an apple in every situation imaginable just to flex even though literally no one can tell. Ngl I'm kinda jealous though. I imagine scary things all the time and get anxious, or get awoken by a nightmare. I wonder if people with aphantasia can dream..

[@clank4442]

She should hit em with “Think about your stupid apple Archimedes” knowing full well that Isaac Newton is the apple guy.

[@Doktor_Youth]

I love how everything just goes back to Pomu

[@Jxxl3s]

No thoughts. Head empty.

[@ericquiabazza2608]

She cant imagine because its ALL ocuppy by "TROLL IDEAS"

[@548152]

I can completely relate to what/how she feels. I always thought it was just a figure of speech

[@alexrod2310]

when I hear music I can visualize it in like forms and colors and sometimes little movies just from the feelings that song gives to me

[@alexrod2310]

its so interesting how other people's brain works

[@arts1628]

@@alexrod2310 yeah itz crazy its like having super power lol

[@cherryrook8684]

I was aware that some ppl can't imagine 3d spaces but had no idea theres some ppl that just have no image at all

[@PixxxelWizard]

Imagine realizing this about yourself as you stream in front of thousands of people.

[@chillNinjaLowSkill]

This just turned my whole world over ! This is actually extremely fascinating, I’m so confused...🌀🌀

[@Astaroth73]

So she'd be a great martial artist then, because Bruce Lee always says "cleanse your mind, empty your mind"

[@alacard9270]

I have aphantasia and the whole empty your mind thing always confused me. I had no idea why that was supposed to be a hard thing to do. It's just always empty up there.

[@wraven166]

I realised from this video and after some rechearch that I have aphantasia too. Always thought that those "imagine this" or "picture this" was something like remember the form from what you saw before or make it by pure mathematics in your brain. Like i know what is an apple and what is an hat so I can think about a apple with a hat and make a really blur image of it by pure logic or mathematics but no way that I can see it in my brain like a picture or a real object when I close my eyes. I only see dark.

[@-Raylight]

Poor Ewiwa, she's head empty. Can't imagine dragon dee- Same Elira, same. Can't imagine Pomu except her thighs xD Poor Elira, kinda sad that she can visualize things. But she's wilder than most of us so guess it's alright 😆 I wonder what about dreams, can she do that?

[@MyNameIs8Ball]

I've hardly actually seen someone else know about, let alone have, aphantasia. The only people I've known to have it are an animator called WowRightMeow from whom I learned about it and apparently my mother who learned about it from me when I mentioned it once. It was nice to see that I'm not completely alone but also a little infuriating to see people completely misunderstand it, "what so like you can't dream or read or think at all???"

[@Clairavoya]

I like how she just straight up described having aphantasia without knowing it's not normal at all and she learned on stream that she has it

[@titap227]

Love how people JUST SUDDENLY SELF DIAGNOSED HER LOL

[@zeihnwise4000]

this feels like a complete opposite of photographic memory

[@SaRg3ntDONUT]

It's taken me 4 years of drawing to get even a faint very hazy and quick image of an apple in my mind and now ya'll are telling me that you can imagine the taste of something or even mimic people's voices in your head!?

[@bananacat9139]

I have a habit of replaying some notes and even the entire piece of classical music in my head. Thinking deeper about it, yeah it's something of a weird quirk. Even more so, when I was so engrossed with my own thoughts, sometimes the scenes just played out inside my brain. So vivid that I've to tell myself to snapped out of it. It's crazy.

[@catmandu5226]

7:20 Apple Shitty Lights -Elira Pendaphantasia _"the day, i o-pened up... my bra-ain"_ _I found, out that people can visualize"_ _"aaapples, but I di-dn't kno-ow that"_ _"maybe I~ was the fooool"_ _"Data, behind my brain not... making apples"_ _"caaan you seee"_ _"listen, and you might... (crying noises) elbows of FWAHHH. MAAAN" (more crying noises)_

[@rollinnollin546]

There’s a historian I follow who has aphantasia, and she once explained that she got into history because reading fiction doesn’t do anything for her. I guess Elira is kind of lucky that she can enjoy reading fictional stuff (even if it is omegaverse Lmao)

[@phantomkor]

me rotating fourteen cubes in my mind: "yeah breh this shit easy af"

[@peterpollenmerry]

I can imagine things just fine, but I can't recognize faces easily, which I didn't discover until I got to college. I trained myself to remember names easily to make up for it. I also don't have an inner monologue most of the time unless I'm thinking of specific words, and I talk to myself a lot as a result.

[@daddysempaichan]

That's Prosopagnosia you're talking about, aka face blindness.

[@laniakeas92]

Same, hyperfantasia but very poor at remembering faces and only have internal monologue when writing. Can I ask did you have any severe traumatic experience in childhood?

[@communismwithgiggles2515]

So she went so far down the rabbit hole because her mind had no brakes

[@laniakeas92]

Sounds, smells, visuals, touch. :0 Can't imagine life without an ability of imagining stuff and feelings. But this girl seems completely normal. People with aphantasia just have different approach of interacting with their surroundings It's fascinating BTW I'm wondering if hyperfantasia is connected to higher empathy 🤔 Seems logical

[@Otek_Nr.3]

I have a really hard time imagining tastes and can't imagine smell at all. I have a really vivid visual and audio imagination, tho. The human mind is crazy.

[@laniakeas92]

@@Otek_Nr.3 ikr I'm struggling to understand why each of us has different sensing systems

[@orinay7325]

I have hyperfantasia, I have created a detailed image of many towns and cities and landscapes of a continent in a book series I read and can actively recall every detail despite it being 5-6 years since I last read it, so aphantasia is completely unimaginable for me

[@jackofblades3998]

Wow she can't imagine anything? It'd be interesting for her to try meditating, since the aim of it that is to calm the mind so it doesn't think of anything

[@windradyne8724]

I can't imagine what that's like.

[@duckamasta6348]

This video seriously just told me something I never knew about myself. Wtf do I think now, I didn't know this wasn't normal either

[@whafflee_]

I really thought this was normal, I had no idea it was actually a rare medical condition! Suddenly so many things make sense now!

[@ShippudenTreizer]

I can basically rewatch anime inside my head so long as i like it enough, heck i once played a harvest moon game from beginning just from the inside of my head while doing part-time work keeping inventory at a dept store. she also mentioned she cant imagine voices inside her head, i wonder if that's why she hums a lot, because she cant hear the music inside her so she hums it manually. me personally i just let music play in my head while singing slowly while studying or doing work

[@karasuclips693]

Ok mr flexanor lmao

[@VoidHxnter]

As a person with aphantasia, yes. That is exactly why we hum a lot.

[@catsouplover7745]

Weird flex but ok

[@NitaShinori]

she's just like me, i can't visualize either i can feel the general presence of a concept in my head, but there is no form or image or anything

[@joelhuckle4523]

It's fine we are abstractly gifted.

[@karasuclips693]

Thats some mega cope

[@SilverHusky]

Yeah, I can't think of images in my head either. Dreams are also weird, as I can remember dreams in color but when I actively try to change the dream the colors fade until it's like I'm blind; with the objects there going into grey lines in black. I could still make it out but I'm totally out of the experience. Whenever I do try to imagine, it's a mix of grey line in black and purple space when I try my best. I wish I could daydream and lucid dream cause it sounds absolutely rad.

[@Pseudomuse_]

I feel like elira right now. I've known about aphantasia for the longest time but never gave too much thought to it. Because yeah I can think about the description of things but actually imagining an image in your head sounds wild to me, I can't do that and it feels like that would be a superpower! Like i can remember memories of apples but if you asked me to visualise one from scratch? Nope, can't do it. Wild.

[@Necromaira]

This is so fascinating to me bc I'm the opposite I make pictures and smells etc whenever I imagine or read sumn

[@rodpepo6372]

I would like to see what she can do if she's asked to draw something by just remember it and visualise it

[@nenocen4109]

I don't know how the condition exactly works, but she'd still be able to draw it. All the information is still in her memory, it's just that her brain can't reconstruct the image in her head.

[@teethcoat4274]

@@nenocen4109 Bruh I'm like the opposite, I can imagine something in great detail in my head, but if I try and get it down it just looks... terrible...

[@tomtimko9185]

Finally someone I can relate to. I always thought it was mind boggling that people saw pictures and scenes in their head when I just see nothing

[@AidanS99]

I never thought that someone could just read a book. 😂 Seriously, I remember reading the Game of Thrones books and I was in Westeros!

[@GretchenDawntreader]

it sounds like a lot of work for her to read but not picture what she's reading. If she read a fairy tale about 2 kids finding a gingerbread house in the haunted forest she would have to remember that the forest was haunted and what haunted forests are described as being like and what gingerbread is like and that there was a house make out of that that was in the forest and that 2 kids were in the spooky forest walking towards the house that was made of gingerbread, and hold those concepts in her brain as she moves along the narrative while referring back to these concepts...and NOT just picture 2 kids walking up to a bread house in the gloomy forest. We take for granted that the whole basis for what's happening is summed up in a mental image of 2 kids in the dark wood approaching a whimsical house.

[@karasuclips693]

I mean thats just her reality so that being hard isnt really hard cause "hard" is relative uk

[@87axal]

But that's pretty normal, isn't it? For example, you can't really visualize "beeing haunted", that's a concept. Yeah the forrest looks dark and spooky, but beeing haunted adds an conceptual dread to it that goes beyond that, doesn't it? So I'd argue neurotypical people also need to grasp and hold concepts while reading, at least for the best reading experience.

[@catoast3565]

I think I would actually say the opposite! Reading is probably easier for her since she is spoon-fed the descriptive words. For example, you don't NEED to picture "two kids finding a gingerbread house" to understand that two kids found a gingerbread house. Whereas, in shows, they don't tell any of those information. They rely on the images and motions depicted on the screen to invoke emotion, which may make it harder to fully remember if you're simply watching for fun and not TRYING to remember every scene. The book will tell you if the car is red but the movie will only show you that the car is red. Elira also mentioned reading was easier too.

[@TacticalHamsterDance]

Isn't it the opposite? I am no expert, but when I talked to someone, I realized how much details goes into a picture: We were talking about their favorite book author and how they wouldn't watch the movies of the books (most or all of them made by a single director). In the first movie, there was an interesting scene (one they liked) in the beginning and it happened on a small square with two shops next to each other as described in the book. They always imagined one of them being in the left, the other in the right. The movie got it the other way around. This was so non-canonical and disconcerting they gave up on the movies. (Fun fact: They always get left and right confused when telling too but this time the feeling was apparently that strong.) I then realized how much information goes into pictures. In your example: How do the kids look? What is their expression and posture? How does the path look if there is any? Wide, narrow etc. What kind of trees are in the forest? Is there a clearing for the house and how big? How does the house look - e.g. windows, roof etc.? Whereas with aphantasia one probably leaves these things undecided unless they need to draw a picture.

[@VoidHxnter]

@@TacticalHamsterDance Aha, right on the money. When things go undescribed in books I just think "okay, what's the closest thing based on this description... alright so it might look like that". For example, in the OP's comment, what I thought of is some old Hansel and Gretel animation I thought of when I was younger, but that was the extent of what I could think of.

[@SirDarknez]

The same shock a had when a discovered that people can see things with their mind

[@sleeplessindefatigable6385]

Iffin' I recall, one of the lead animators at Disney had this way back in the day. Can't remember which one for the life of me, but one of them had it.

[@lilydafoxchan]

i feel the feelings of the scene sometimes and see it and all that

[@PlushLordOfTheSeas]

poor sweet ewiwa she can never use magic

[@soranai4851]

ayo.... i literally JUST NOW discovered the i have aphantasia too... this is mind blowing man.. i thought when people say visualize is create a complete and detailed description of a thing and not a literal IMAGE!!! WTF!!! im mind blown rn!!!!

[@whyisyoutubeshowinghandles]

I had the same reaction as Elira, it's still so wild to me that some people can actually have a whole other world in their head, or hear a narrator, or imagine the smell of freshly baked cookies

[@stargayzer-piyo]

I have aphantasia too, I didn't realize she had it!

[@kiwiezi]

TSKR for this specific clip

[@Hamun002]

title: Elira(and many other people) learn they got this brain shit