If He Does This One Thing, Kiss A Relationship Good Bye He Doesn't Like You

[@MsFoxy360]

If a man put himself in the position to lose you he should lose you.

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

You should be: Hard to get and EASY to lose.

[@gigiinfinitespirit]

Yeah!!

[@AngelaMay66]

Thank You.

[@memoryrinehart]

Amen

[@michelledevine7863]

@@memoryrinehart p P

[@jessiewilson4993]

Alot of people are not looking for love they're looking for help

[@matilda4406]

lol, yeah! help to love... themselves. Sorry, it's actually sad, though. Bad parenting. In essence.. love is important... the most important thing... and it starts from parents loving their child...

[@PolarBear-mj9wt]

Like yourself

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

You can have both! 😉

[@matilda4406]

@@CrystalDatingCoach both what?

[@HankiMaus]

@@matilda4406 Probably love *and* help...!?🤷🏼

[@kristenfromOZ]

Your gut feeling is NEVER wrong

[@Ohkeh640]

Agreed

[@chrisherber1635]

I don’t know if it’s the same for men. I consider myself to be pretty emotionally mature with a lot of experience with humans in general. My gut told me “safe”, but the reality was “used” 😕

[@bellabong8862]

Basically, if a guy really loves us (is sexually attracted, likes us mentally and is bonded emotionally and will make personal sacrifices for our happiness), we will feel safe and loved and won't be wondering.

[@nicolejennings8389]

If he calls you mommy, there's an entirely separate set of issues

[@patriciaque197]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@shirleymorales3161]

Nicole Jennings lol unless he is Hispanic Mami is actually an endearment ( call actual mom Ama )😂

[@MsBhappy]

@@shirleymorales3161 still Freud would have a word or two hundred thousand to say on that.

[@assyrianbull]

🤣🤣

[@bitchpuhleese]

I attract the emotionally unavailable men.

[@breakergirl47]

Become available to yourself, it will stop. Pay attention to the the message they bring you. Maybe you have to learn something or heal something or stop doing certain things. They are a blessing in disguise. Don’t just fall for them, the quick you can get the message the better.

[@katvond6346]

@Apple Betty Aren't all 'men' like this😂🤣 Seems to me they act like boys...no matter the age.

[@katvond6346]

@Carolyn Morten 😂so right! "Next" nailed it hahha🙌

[@bybyana26]

Story of my life!

[@svasianfilipiname6603]

A lot of people attract the emotionally, financially unavailable men

[@unapologeticallyme4428]

I attract men who don't know how to handle my loyalty, straightforwardness ( that men say they want),independence, thoughtfulness, empathetic nature. I feel they are use to toxic women that when a real one comes they get scared or think i have alterior motives. I feel all the real men are taken, gay or want to stay single because they've been hurt so much.

[@biancadelarosa7986]

Don't give up on life and the universe I know of a great man who helped you me fix my broken hear beat relationship and everything was restored to pormal in days without delay

[@biancadelarosa7986]

Text him on WhatsApp

[@biancadelarosa7986]

+1=2=0=4=8=0=8=2=2=3=4...

[@danaglover6801]

I’ve been sayin this for days now. Your comment is definitely my confirmation🙌🏽. The whole damn part💯💯

[@kelliritter8688]

That's me exactly I feel too much and the men that I Date don't feel enough. Drives me nuts.

[@Cinder1987]

Yep, dump these type guys that don’t care if they do things that may lose you. It’s a waste of your precious time when they could care less. Find someone that actually puts in the effort.

[@godlovesyousomuch5894]

I think if a woman says "It will be different this time " It is a very very bad sign It is NOT going to work out

[@kristenmoonrise]

I had a similar situation happen. The guy was buttering me up in the beginning and was looking to move back to his home state, my state. Says he was going to move to my city specifically. He was expecting me to give it up. I didn't. Then he ghosted lol. These guys will tell you anything to get in your pants 😅

[@jackseve]

Or move in.

[@kristenmoonrise]

@@jackseve lol true!

[@kristylynn4047]

Sounds like you avoided a disaster. ❤️

[@daphneduryea9136]

@@jackseve This...

[@NotBenAffleck]

This literally just happened to me verbatim!!!

[@hiyd.y9787]

i dont know why i've never felt anything like this my gut feeling just tells me to trust him and relax😅😌, i've never feel so peaceful while being in a relationship.. im not obssesed or too attached its just so balanced and i love him, he reciprocates this i think its why i feel at peace

[@lashondaward2924]

I believe you have found the one if your soul is at peace .Congratulation he really could be the one

[@helentaylor7132]

@@lashondaward2924 I agree. I told my daughter that rather than that excited feeling you have in the beginning, what she's watching for are feelings of peace and well-being.

[@hedwig041]

I met my man online, went on a date within a week of talking and THE SECOND WE SPOKE I knew this was different. I was like ok don't fuck this up, this is it if you really want it to be. We went for dinner and forgot to look at menus we couldn't stop talking. We talked and talked and talked, went for a drink and talked and talked more. Before I knew it 3 hours had gone by. Usually I'm the introvert who will look for an escape because dating is exhausting, but this was so easy. We organised to meet again a few days later, a date that ended up lasting about 9 hours. We connected on such a deep, emotional level, and there were no games, no "does he/ doesn't he," it was just easy! 5 weeks later we went into full lockdown, so I moved in with him. Even though lockdown has ended, we still live together and are building a life together. We met only 10 months ago today, lived together 9 months, and neither of us have ever been more content. 10 months isn't long, but I've got a good feeling 😄

[@clarinedenis4590]

You

[@clarinedenis4590]

Ate so rigjt

[@clarinedenis4590]

The

[@LoveDayandAge]

👊

[@cicin9313]

Thats awesome! Hope you are still going strong!

[@cleeeeobug]

6-8 dates in the midst of pandemic? I’m doomed

[@brittanyb5942]

🤣

[@katalynbabe]

Exactly lol

[@NJ-rl3jr]

🤣🤣

[@rcfwood]

Dates can be a hike, a walk in park, coffee by your cars, eating outside restaurant if weather good

[@chellybabyme]

He's right. Experience talking here: I waited longer than Elliot says. And this guy did get better. HOWEVER, the principle still applies. Holidays suck, because the principle still applies. Just because we're around each other does not mean he cherishes me. He does not. He knows he has a good woman, his friends know... but it's not in his heart. This guy is not even a bad guy or a player. He keeps to himself and is slightly generous but I don't have his heart. Elliott is right. A dumb amount of time has gone by at this point and I don't have his heart, so it is a little unhealthy to say the least. Elliot is right.

[@skryvazena6548]

Yuou're right. I was inexperienced, it was my first, coming so late in my late 30's. I was waiting for two years. It did get better, but when it's low it's very low. And it still ended.

[@Alixir1228]

He IS a bad guy if he knows you're not in his heart, but he keeps you around for your benefits.

[@chellybabyme]

@@Alixir1228 Two years since I posted that. I was still looking for potential. You are right. He was a bad guy. An opportunist.

[@chrisherber1635]

I really advocate for this guy’s channel. I’m sick of hearing all my homegirls’ hearts get broken with the red flags and signs literally in front of their face. Men have very simple minds, easy to decipher. And there’s a transition from boy to man as well. Men have integrity and clear intentions, period. Elliot is right, a man who truly likes you, will not put himself in a position to lose you. He won’t take you for granted. He will be consistent. And yes, I’m salty for the last girl I dated to not see that and choose a literal boy 11 years her junior who didn’t respect her from day 1 🤦🏽‍♂️. Can’t wait for that to burn 😈 😂. I

[@nomorenarcz]

"don't let him call you Mommy". Oh my..😂😂😂

[@Nancy22102]

Exactly

[@zoraidacastro5403]

Mami, with a Spanish tone is actually different

[@heatherintheskywithdiamondz]

@@zoraidacastro5403 exactly zo

[@jenniferwhite1413]

Why not? Mine calls me momma l!

[@loriwadsworth5930]

He wants you to be his mother. Beware. Look up narcissism....

[@edendeville]

“What is he doing now?” Reminds me if the Janet Jackson song “What have you done for me lately” aka, my new theme tune! 😂

[@kirazinn]

Everything you said is valid 100%. That why u got to have options of guys to date ladies. Especially for men that just want to pop in & out of life all the time

[@hannahg.5268]

This is why we have to be very careful ladies. Dating a low caliber man is emotionally expensive.. I'd rather be a single dog and happy than to be married and miserable.

[@biancadelarosa7986]

Don't give up on life and the universe I know of a great man who helped you me fix my broken hear beat relationship and everything was restored to pormal in days without delay

[@biancadelarosa7986]

Text him on WhatsApp

[@biancadelarosa7986]

+1=2=0=4=8=0=8=2=2=3=4...

[@nicolepink8559]

Always trust your intuition ✨ If a guy really likes or loves you he wouldn’t put himself in a position to lose you . . Best advice ever . But some people don’t want to accept the truth .

[@btstakescareofmewhenimsick4892]

At this point,.i trust my guts more than any guy around. Maybe i should date my guts.

[@prettypenne662]

Funny

[@carolinenorman6141]

Lol

[@rubykhan6040]

Hey Elliot, thanks alot. I have this mentality and principle in my life, once I break up with a guy no matter how much I loved and cared about him..... I never let him back into my life again coz I know they never change and they come back to pass time till they get someone else to accommodate them ❤

[@angelaowens2911]

I’m the same way.......break up = no contact EVER.......

[@littleredhen8205]

An ex is an EX for a reason.

[@TreeFeather4ever]

Aye the gymsweat always makes an appearance with wise words of relationships👌

[@ran9628]

best advice I ever got about relationships

[@ElliotScottDating]

Thank you :)

[@MarleneForester]

You are the goat I swear to God I’m not gonna listen to anyone else

[@emilyc5625]

Sometimes I don’t even know if I want a relationship after 8 dates lol 😂😂😂 I agree this to be true 90 percent of the time . 10 percent gray area , I’ve wanted a relationship with some guys that wanted one with me but could not give them one due to circumstances. Sometimes timing is an issue .

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

8 dates and no SEX...if he's still around. He's a keeper.

[@BrooklynBaby100]

@@CrystalDatingCoach I went 6 months and no sex and I still didn’t keep him.

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

@@BrooklynBaby100 OK. But it's not just about not having sex too soon it's also about him letting you in his Life. Meeting Friends and family. Him entering in your life. That should happen after Max 6 months.

[@TravelBug189]

That woman sounds like me 🥴🙈😫 I’m in NYC though but it’s tough out here! I’ve known this guy for 9 years and still waiting 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@test1test219]

Women don’t justify it, as you mention, we just cannot comprehend how men are capable of wanting the assets without the feelings. It’s the feelings that make the assets worth while. But you are right, men can disassociate physical from emotional while women have a hard time with this.

[@amiec8988]

You are so right on! I should seen your videos a long time ago. It would have save me some heartaches and been able to weed them out!

[@agirl4798]

I needed to hear this. perfect timing

[@aniciabean3300]

You just helped me, and now I'm gonna leave him. I realize that I am too kind, nice, caring and loving that I was blind to not see what was really happening. I guess I was so deep into his lies and love that I didn't see what was actually happing. Thank You Elliot Scott

[@tiffytoo]

Your wisdom just changed my life.

[@meganruchwatercolors7186]

Oh wow I am in this situation right now! Dating for exactly 8 weeks and just dropped the bomb I do mor want a girlfriend......damn he came on thick!!!! Talk is cheap and he was so G. O O D at it!

[@s.moeller9543]

Dude. That was like the best video I have ever seen. And I've been on KZbin a lot the past few months trying to figure out what the heck just happened to me.

[@AyyoShyGurlTv]

Okay so, after watching about a dozen videos from your channel I've come to the conclusion that men are ridiculously MORE complex to figure out than women are...holy sh*t..what rabbit hole did I find myself in? Really valuable information though and helpful, insightful.

[@fhreakzzz]

Thank you so much Eliot for all your videos, you are amazing!!

[@teresalgross1332]

H E Y :: E L L I O T :: I'm new to your channel and excited to go back & see what else you have posted. Please help me understand your 8th-date rule. What time frame would that look like if you spent time talking & getting to know each other digitally because of a long distance situation at first? There is a reasonable assumption that one of you will be moving to the others city within 6 months or less. And the relocating was planned before you met.

[@tinajenkins2647]

True relationships seem to be on the end of life now.-

[@teshamiller6001]

You’re hilarious AND informative. Bonus! 😂 thanks for sharing

[@leahalexis9371]

I freakin love you. You're so freakin blunt and real! Yes! lol

[@mariediehl358]

You’re a good looking dude

[@demetrafisher6711]

Seriously, this is so simple but a ton of women just won’t allow themselves to see it. If he’s there for you and then not, appears interested and then goes no contact, HE’S NOT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING LONG TERM. Stop thinking that it’s something that it’s not. He’s interested in the physical and that’s all, and if you keep giving it up to him, of course he will keep coming back! Hell, even stray cats know enough to keep going back to a food source, so if you keep on feeding them, they will keep coming back for more. Just because he keeps returning, doesn’t mean that he loves you or that you matter to him. It just means that he thinks of you as “low hanging fruit” that he doesn’t have to work to win over to get your cookie prize. Don’t waste your time as once he thinks of you this way, he will ALWAYS think of you this way. MOVE ON.

[@ElliotScottDating]

Very true. People only see what they wanna see

[@cheryldouglas8903]

I wish I could subscribe 2x☑️☑️☑️ Who else binge-watching this dude rn?? Yo, I want front row tickets when u go NATIONAL 🙏👍🏽💯 Thank you8 I’m feeling real low yet lifted spirit 😂💨 Keep doing this no matter what!! U saving my life rn. Path of least resistance… my favorite scientific 🧪 expression👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🙏💯😎💋 Thank you a billion times. I needed yo commentary like “ yesterday.” I’m booking sessions soon. Great content. This fish 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 🥲🥲🥲thank you Truth hurts😇 I’m looking within rn🥲🥲🥲🥲🙏🥲☑️ You getting me thru🎧🎧 💫 ⭐️ 🌟

[@trace5980]

Thankyou for this vid and all the hard work you do for us all ,ladies listen to youre gut I know it can be hard to push a guy away but youre happiness is more important x

[@ElliotScottDating]

You are so welcome

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Trace, hope you are with a good man!

[@jenniferwhite1413]

True if he plays away he will not stay!

[@emilyc5625]

What’s the explanation then for people that go back and forth dating for a long time , one isn’t ready for a relationship due to let’s say medical school or other reasons , poor timing then later on get married ? I know people this has happened to .

[@helentaylor7132]

I'd say that as long as both partners understand and agree to the delay as an investment toward each others' goals and future, that's a valid choice. Of course, there's a risk that one or the other may change their mind or end up finding someone else along the way, but it's better that happen before marriage. If they stay solid in the face of challenging situations, then they'll likely stay solid for life. Would depend on emotional maturity of the couple and their choices along the way.

[@klickingkayasmr7585]

So what if his actions show he wants to be your boyfriend, but says with his words, he’s unsure?

[@Sheisanangel0]

So true. The gut does not lie.

[@ShipperTrash88]

Ya gotta keep them on their toes

[@Funkylover-sl7ew]

the question is how do u become likeable

[@bonitasbuzz3370]

read`the-Bible. Listen to Bishop TD Jakes, Joel Osteen, Read Proverbs, Psalms. Outside the Will of God, Expect trouble

[@ElliotScottDating]

don't seek validation. Just do you. Oh, and get my course.

[@wandayarbrough]

Gut feeling always right

[@1975tko]

Fabulous!

[@teresakarr934]

I think I did pretty good. Successful completion of a 3 year connection.

[@mailmebaby555]

That's the cold hard truth, when a guy has a large dating pool he won't just give up on his options even if you are a celebrity. But when they are all over you after day one when you didnt even say "yes" to dating them, that means they dont have as many options.

[@aura5944]

Thank you!

[@stanclark3992]

Good hair.

[@evelisisdavis7242]

You’re right !!!

[@sillygirl2242]

Spot on!!

[@h.a.nicola-heather-anne1426]

Love this One

[@stellawoods4272]

I don't even care anymore......just rather be the crazy old lady with a house full of cats!!!!!!

[@brittanyb5942]

Me too!

[@aimeevasquez2644]

Amen!!! Cats are the best ❤️💯

[@TravelingDiva-vp1gt]

Cats rock! However, I would rather be the older lady, who looks younger, travels alot, drinks wine and goes to wine tastings. I'm already 35, but look 25, so I'm going to be one hot looking "old lady." Lol!

[@Lakishia]

Already getting started I have 2 cats and live alone

[@heyyyyyyyyyyow]

Haha love this!

[@brielleanyez7113]

I dont care if he likes me, i like me. The end.

[@godlovesyousomuch5894]

That is a very healthy way I will be the same bc I have learned I enjoy my own company very much LOL I LIKE ME TOO

[@helensanderson7092]

I have recently started to like myself for who I am. I have been hurt to many times . So I have decided I'm going to be me. I have just moved in on my own and am busy with my new apartment and new job.

[@issa8299]

Snap.

[@kwnpa4055]

😂😂😂😂👍👍👍👍

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

Amen...and that's ALL that matters.

[@ceyc.2404]

If a man ever says, "We'll see where it goes!" LEAVE. Thats his way of saying he likes you but not enough to snatch you up and claim you. If he isn't clear on his plan for you, say BYE.

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

Translation. I'm going to USE you until I find the Woman really like. Tell them to get LOST!

[@autumnclark631]

Your so right! I don't know if I want to cry or ball bust.

[@JDoe-hb7pc]

Yes, it hurts but men assign points to women. You simply did not meet all the things on his list to make it worth it. Sorry it hurts and they won't tell you to your face but when they meet dream girl they pounce.

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

@@JDoe-hb7pc OK it hurts. But Other people opinions about us are not out problem. Someone will appreciate you...believe me.

[@jayh4830]

Not true. It just mean he doesn’t know if you’re suitable yet. Don’t rush people.

[@AM-xe4iq]

Women legit need to stop caring so damn much. It’s freeing. I don’t mean we shouldn’t care at all, just stop caring about this sh*t to your own detriment. We have lives to live. We need to honor ourselves.

[@nofybn7794]

Well I don't care at all. I am done.

[@jenniferwhite1413]

Yes i totally agree! Honour thy self!

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

STOP loving Men who give. Nothing.

[@leesteal4458]

Amen.

[@victoriak.2707]

That’s a really good observation. Thanks for the comment

[@SunshineSurfsup1]

Genius phrase! So true ...”a guy who wants me will not put himself in a position to loose me.” That’s actually freeing!!!!!

[@im2cuteferu]

It’s genius!

[@yolandakerr5438]

Truest statement everrr

[@flower9218]

Lose

[@KurosakiLuvar01]

@@flower9218 I mean hey, they want to “loose” us too. Lolol

[@weinerwagon6781]

Just met a guy this week. Only texting. He says on day 4 “send me a pic of those tootsie pops In your mouth lol”.....ummm I’m 46 and don’t have time for such ignorance and arrogance. Next.

[@burberryclaretred6676]

This guy who never dated me now after 4 years wants to pick up where we left off? So what does he want now? I’m easy and his last resort ?

[@wookieelee38]

Eww I know I went out with someone who called me babygirl,,gross I’m 50

[@bongdubie6997]

@@burberryclaretred6676 Please ignore him, he should have given it his best effort the first time!

[@jadedstar7442]

@@BK-tp6jf Oh, yes, believe it. They don't grow up no matter how old they are. I was shocked too when I was in my 40s and started dating again after my divorce. Now in my 60s I see where the term "dirty only man comes from". Men have no filter on how old they are. They still get just as excited on looking at a young woman as if they are the same age. This I've seen because I have an attractive daughter and have seen their first response. And these are decent men. 🤪👀👅 Not sickos. Sorry, it's in their testosterone. The main reason dating is so hard and no decency is because of the SEXUAL REVOLUTION that I lived through. Dating was always done with the pursuit of marriage. And the goal was no nookies until. (Not that that happened) But men stayed more respectful. Look at old Elvis Presley movies. In the end he always asked the girl to marry him. BUT WAIT IT GETS WORSE! Now the Democrats are gender neutralizing us. You can't say mom or dad. Its parents. You have a child. SICKOS ARE TURNING US INTO ROBOTS.

[@westernskies2199]

@@jadedstar7442 Do we just keep letting them tell us what we can say and can't say? No ! This a joke. I will continue with my Constitutional right to free speech.

[@ArcticAngel8]

Guys always try to come back , from what I've learned most are damaged and insecure ..dont feed their ego.

[@ritah4713]

@@kvooo765 Yea so they can destroy you with the constructs you helped build them - ehm we think not.

[@ritah4713]

@@kvooo765 best thing you can do is let 'em go. Let them heal themselves. Don't burn yourself trying to heal others and don't advice others to.

[@mosesalv]

I am an Empath and if my ex narc heloed rebuilt me, i wiuld do the same but narcissists don't have compassiin and has a cristal ball to see the future bettail ? Think npt. Delusion

[@KayciazWorld]

@@ritah4713 Yep! Happened to me

[@anetak.9494]

@@kvooo765 nope. Nope. Nope. What you do is building them up for the next one because by the end of your help all they will see you as is a therapist, nothing else.

[@de.talleyduncan9443]

Deceased husband DID do laundry, vacuum, cook, out to restaurants a lot!. Insisted he’s mowing yard, weed eating, fixing vehicles, fixing house, paying bills. Etc. He made certain I’d have what I needed before he died. Including our Tombstone. Medical situation. Several times... Everyday he’d say “I love you!” “Hello Gorgeous!” Then say with tears in his eyes, “I worship the dirt you walk on!” I loved him back the same way! There’s so much more! We lived in PEACE. He died in PEACE. I live in PEACE now... Bc of His TRUE LOVE!

[@nosratsalamat4524]

So lucky, may he RIP

[@lynettewaks2036]

That’s beautiful, so happy you had that with him. We all want that kind of guy.❤️

[@cl5080]

How I miss my Dale. He was just that kind of stand up guy. He was my Superman 😢

[@cicin9313]

So beautiful! 💜

[@idontknowanymore8968]

Sorry for your loss sugar. he sounded like 1 of a kind 💕

[@snookums999]

I would rather die alone (happily) than to compromise my sanity by someone who treats my love like a habit

[@Phoenixishot]

🎯

[@anitafreeman6181]

ok

[@kathleensueoka3599]

You are truly a “smarty pants”.

[@romainecalm1108]

For all the ‘unsure’ ladies...that is your gut telling you “NO”...

[@Cinder1987]

Long distance is usually a joke if the guy goes months and months without meeting you or seeing you in person. As, he’s possibly married or in a relationship and using you as a side friend.

[@juri8821]

I’ve been in a long distance relationship for a year now and we see each other every other month. It’s the best relationship I’ve had and we treat each other even better than when we first started dating. Constant FaceTimes and love. Long distance is never a joke if you know what you want.

[@Cinder1987]

@@juri8821 Exactly, I stated that it is a joke if you haven’t met or not seeing each other regularly. My comment was not meant for your situation. 😁

[@mizzcrazygal]

oh yea my ex broke up w me cus of distance even though i said i’ll come see u each week he said i just don’t have the time lol

[@thebriellebeauty]

Y

[@patriciakrakowiak1442]

Yes I agree! I just broke up with a man who I met on a dating app because after 4 months of daily talking he was too busy to meet me. He only lived an hour away from me. Always had an excuse why he cant come see me. I got tired of it.

[@michelleperez4274]

Most of the time the gut feeling is real, sometimes we are just to cocky to follow our gut. I always like how real you are! 🥰🤗

[@toneyfox6328]

Not cocky many dont trust themselves

[@michelleperez4274]

@@toneyfox6328 I have been too cocky to not follow my gut. But every case is different, I'd say my case was one in a thousand 🤷

[@toneyfox6328]

@@michelleperez4274 i got u my love least u are honest

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Michelle Perez,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news!😊😊🤙

[@michelleperez4274]

@@oscarwilliamson1264 you're so sweet, thank you 😊

[@AshleyMintz]

One time when I was watching one of your lives, we were going back and forth about my situation with a guy coming back after pulling away. You were saying what you say here, that he never would have pulled away if he was serious. It was hard to hear but shortly after, I let him go internally. I had to emotionally let him go. And once I did that, I began getting asked out by other men and am getting back into dating again soon. Thx.

[@ElliotScottDating]

It's all a cycle baby! The only thing you have to give up for your new life is your old one!

[@memoryrinehart]

It's an awful cycle. Hurt then hurt then hurt then hurt again, ad finem.

[@lemonspring6425]

Yeah been there. Appears, disappears, appears again. Hurting, led me to heart ache

[@MsBizzyGurl]

Here's the truth: he needs to want to be with you. You do you and if a man comes by often, is thoughtful, checks in (without being told) and respects your opinions that's someone who wants a relationship. You can't pick a man - he has to pick you.

[@McFraneth]

Some house plants would transform that space.

[@patriciaque197]

🤣🤣🤣

[@shyneintuition555]

😂😂😂

[@KiKi-te9yd]

At 40yo, I hate dating now. I have such envy of everyone who has found themselves a loving committed partner in life. I wish I had that, but I can’t find it anywhere.

[@hjtres7261]

I feel this 150%,my friend.

[@isras6702]

If you already have a passport - start booking flights - see more of the world & you will gain perspective. Blessings to you 💕🙏🏽

[@bonitasbuzz3370]

stop claiming your negativity. research youtube. trust God

[@emanaturalsaus]

Have you ever had one love in the past 20years? If yes, then it's time to celebrate what was & start to concentrate on yourself. If you've not had one, then stay hopeful & love yourself most of all. There's a lot of us in this situation. Each sit is different. But we must stay happy & hopeful. Most of all spiritual & lovingl. Love to you all

[@HD-xb9mj]

Try being older than 40, uts tough it seems that some of us are luckier in love and some of us hv a really hard time and may end up single.

[@kittybang]

“Stop beating a dead horse, you’re only breaking your own bones.”

[@jenniferwhite1413]

Ha ha! I suppose your right! Xxx

[@anajayasmr7126]

Wow we had a argument today and he mention one subject was like beating a dead horse. Seems like I should just walk away

[@kittybang]

@@jenniferwhite1413 xoxo

[@kittybang]

@@anajayasmr7126 damn.. sorry your stud is a dud

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

He calls and make Dates he likes you. He Texts you every day. Morning and nite. Send cute messages. MEANS NOTHING.

[@maryt7959]

Yes , because he has a girl for each day I bet ! So yes .... you need seriousness and real commitment and share the same life long vision .... stay blessed. Pace to you !

[@angelac.1264]

I couldn't agree more

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

@@maryt7959 Stop rushing into their beds!

[@51844mj]

Preach woman yassss

[@maddart4445]

Thank you!

[@Bibirallie]

I’m so glad I don’t date. I don’t have time for this mess.

[@danamclean9607]

Right. Too many games smh

[@AD_2314]

Same. Some bs

[@nofybn7794]

PREACH!!

[@equalitarianbiologist2327]

Date when you've realized a man is decently mature after you've known him for 5-8 months

[@equalitarianbiologist2327]

@Kate Middlefinger oouch. Be graceful inhere

[@samanthathompson9812]

Apparently no guy has ever wanted a relationship with me because they all put themselves in a position to lose me.

[@jadedstar7442]

Do you do things that they will want you? OR do you act stand offish? We have have to be appealing and caring too. If that goes unnoticed or unappreciated; THEN they are losers.

[@SaraFJones]

I feel ya girl! Felt like no one chooses me either!

[@marylnmonroe]

What type of men are you going after?

[@citizn-xh7rv]

Same

[@jacquelinemulder8010]

I hope you are well today. I feel what you are saying ❤. Never excuse yourself for having a good heart.

[@autumnclark631]

Ladies Don't give up your peach, until he shows you he really cares. Hold off

[@autumnclark631]

Thank you for the heart on my comment, I really appreciate your advice because its not sugar coated, you keep 100% cuss words and all! Your genuine and it shows thank you Elliott

[@lioydwilliams1850]

@@autumnclark631 you must be a precious being

[@autumnclark631]

@@lioydwilliams1850 i do my best

[@gloriaa0214]

So hard

[@autumnclark631]

@@gloriaa0214 Your right! Because let's face it women love sex too. Ive had my share of hooking up on the 1st date, and that basically set my place with the guy, I never leveled up to GF material just booty call. So I guess if you dont want him long term the .

[@emeraldeyes8688]

We don’t want to listen to our guts all the time because it’s so disappointing, as we always come across phonies, players, and nutcases. For once we want our gut to be wrong lol. 😏

[@emanaturalsaus]

Yes v true

[@carolinenorman6141]

Lol I love your lack of political correctness

[@jeannestandley-kinata824]

The " good looking Dude" is a Narcissist who is trying to Hoover the Lady from California up. He is not worthy of her. Go No Contact and learn about Narcisstic Abuse Recovery to save your Self the heartache. I am sending love and hugs from Washington State, USA, Jeanne of In Loving Hands Counseling and ASMR

[@MeIBell7]

100% narcissist! They need constant supply wherever they can get it to feed their ego.

[@emanaturalsaus]

Guys do a thousand crazy things & so don't take em seriously. Take yourself seriously! Stay confident, loving & spiritually sound.

[@jennifercarroll7668]

Makes complete sense. If I guy really likes you be won't put himself in a position to lose you. He should be willing to commit to a relationship after eight dates. Well said.

[@maddart4445]

So don’t have sex until 8 dates in

[@ericsmith5826]

8 dates? lmao if he really like you it only take 3-4

[@lanceromusic]

same goes for you ladies. If you really like him, you won’t put yourself in a position to lose him. Goes both ways. That’s fair to say.

[@bonitasbuzz3370]

8 :0

[@LauraSchermerhorn]

This was hard to hear but so soooooo true. Listen to Elliot.

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Laura,your lovely smile can make the news

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Laura,ulu look stunning 🌹🌹🌷🌷 dear

[@jammyjay917]

We can't keep watering a dead flower....it's pointless! 😘😘 Forget it.....

[@hannahlifexo1286]

Dude I’ve made so many excuses for this dude. He’s my ex and is going to remain that forever! He just wanted the assets! Us women need to be more cautious and not give into unavailable men.

[@shalalala868]

Exes are the most dangerous! I dumped an ex eons ago and he was more into me than him. Fast forward years later, I get divorced and we reconnect and he tells me “I’m the one that got away” yet he’s inconsistent, inconsiderate, future faked, broke promises. I was just looking to hook up since I had just left my marriage but once I wanted to venture into something more serious, I dropped him. Life is too short! Once you and that person aren’t on the same page you have to move on.

[@nicolebrowne3632]

Coach Elliot is so right ! I have dated a few men and realized after a few to many dates they didn’t want the same thing . I now have met me a man who after 3 weeks of us dating ( though we met 5 years ago) asked me to be exclusive. It is now going on 4 months and he hasn’t changed, though we had a few fights he is always the one to do the chasing , he has stepped up since I lost my job end of sept , still buys me flowers every other week , I’m with this man just about every day helping him with his business and I have my own key And my stuff at his house . He hates going a day without me . I’m looking forward to my first thanksgiving with him and our two grown sons . Ladies , if he doesn’t commit after a certain time , let it go because most men will continue to get it all without the commitment .

[@ShinySilverBunny]

Why are you helping him with his business? Are you his employee? Or are you just helping to build it? I would not do that if I were you. Is he paying your bills aside from buying flowers?

[@nicolebrowne3632]

@@ShinySilverBunny one thing I will not allow a man to take advantage of me for money ,. He has a landscaping and irrigation company , He is showing me things and keeping me busy while I’m not working . He is also going to give my son work cash in hand over the holidays . He gave my front yard a make over with all new landscaping and cost me nothing , he also fixed things in my house , he pays pretty much everything.

[@ShinySilverBunny]

@@nicolebrowne3632 right on. You got it girl!!

[@ChasingCarson]

Thank you! I needed to see this.

[@prettypenne662]

True

[@cindycinn2724]

When you meet a man and start talking about things mention what you will and not tolerate and stick to it Don't let anyone test you don't fall for sugary words All relationships are usually perfect in the beginning Wait and see Be a listener not a talker and you will find out who he reminds you of If it is someone you didn't like then don't try to change them Find what you are looking for Its out there but you can't find them wearing rose colored glasses...take them off!!!!

[@Dia_Hunny_Boo]

Yesssss!!!! This! When they remind you of someone else that’s a huge flag!

[@cindycinn2724]

@@Dia_Hunny_Boo yes it is...I know

[@Goodnewsgoodeats]

The men that comes after me never got love from their mom, they are always looking for the love their mom never gave them.

[@stayhoney6863]

Sad. So many broken men

[@annd8425]

😂 Elliot is right. If he calls you Mommy - run girl, run!

[@happydays9613]

Elliot Scott you are 100% correct. We as women need to stop opening our legs and being idiots with men full stop. Wait assess, make sure all his actions meet his words. Stop being easy access, no man I know refuses sex. If you enjoy being a used up door mat. Then ignore and keep doing your thing that clearly is not working. I learnt the hard way and got wise. We all make mistakes but for goodness sake stop repeating them.

[@wookieelee38]

But if you did give up the assets and think you messed up? turn it around and say you used him too. Just sayin we as woman can’t be left feeling guilty all the time because we “gave it up” be a lioness ladies stop feeling guilty. 🦁 do what’s right and we won’t feel guilty bottomline

[@cocoaocean]

💯

[@christahgold]

The gut never lies. Thank you for this. Xoxo

[@tiffytoo]

I'm fn DONE!!! stick a fork in me!!!

[@gailmgreenlee7039]

Ha ha ha ha there's no guys actually I m even attracted to really anyways that are sweet in prob last 21 years

[@gailmgreenlee7039]

I honestly stopped looking oreven trying

[@CNM2326]

What he is doing now is breadcrumbing me, taking me for granted and I'm not even a priority anymore he says he's busy. I've tried the detachment of pulling away as he pulled away... he wasn't fazed. I've tried talking like an adult, he says he's busy but I see him go offline when I come online or go offline in the middle of our conversation. I broke up with him and we kept talking for a few weeks now that I'm going home soon(long distance relationship) he says he wants to meet up and rekindle the love we had 🙄😣. It hurts that I wasted my precious year with this guy hoping he would go back to normal. I'm not saying I'm in a rush to get married but the fact that women have a time limit to do so makes it that much more saddening that he wasted my time. Now I have to breakup with him officially when I go home and move on

[@jenniferlouissaint]

You do not have to have a full blown meeting or conversation. Clear lines: “You’re being inconsistent and unreliable. With the distance and your behavior this is not going to work. I hope that you find what you’re looking for and good bye.” This is a job, if you’re not executing, you’re fired.

[@ashaf.6143]

@@jenniferlouissaint Yasssss👏👏👏👏 you said the word Lady!! You know those dang tricks...he knows she's vulnerable ,he'll prob try to get some physical assets AND THEN resume his bargain basement behaviour. CM you are worth more than whatever cheap acts he's given and is still tryna give. I highly recommend you cut n paste what Jenn said up top. He won't know what hit him. All the Best✨

[@mademoiselleannarose9623]

CM I have been there. What hurts the most in the end is losing our precious time. Men know that we do have a time limit, so those who doesn't show through their actions that they have a life plan with you in it dont deserve a second of your time. Many men need ego boosts from women and you have to cut them loose. All the best ❤

[@melissajohnson7252]

Damn this was some hardcore truth I needed to hear 😔😒

[@crissieasmr7765]

Girls, if you manage to get into a “committed relationship” with a guy who wants “to see where it goes”...you are going to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t give a shit about you or your needs. He’ll always put himself and his needs first, always. You will basically only exist for sex and to be paraded around in public. He is doing you a favor by “rejecting” you because you don’t know how much worse it is to be committed to someone like that. It’s fucking awful and you will need several friends, therapists, and god to heal you. Lol seriously.

[@gr8-fun162]

This sounds confused. If he is saying, "let's see where it goes ," it is not a committed relationship. You might be thinking it is, but clearly he has not committed if he's saying, "let's see where it goes. " (which is a non-committal statement; he is telling you he is not committed.) Maybe he is exclusively seeing you for now but there's no definition of short term or long term? Maybe not even that? I think better, more direct communication is in order.

[@crissieasmr7765]

@@gr8-fun162 again, if you manage to get into a relationship with someone who is wishy-washy, you are going to be in a relationship with a wishy-washy person. Also, I used to say that all the time and it means “I want to get to know you and you don’t have to feel pressure”. If you’re meeting people off the internet, than that statement is just a fact, not a sign of being noncommittal. If a guy is saying that after you’ve had sex with him, than you have a problem.

[@gr8-fun162]

@@crissieasmr7765 If the guy is saying, "Let's see where this goes," he is not being wishy-washy; he is saying, "I am not comfortable enough to commit to you yet, but maybe later if things remain pleasant, fun and I feel you are meeting my needs and expectations and are adding value to my already satisfying existence." As I said, it is a non-committal statement; a snapshot in time about how he is feeling about it. It's a "maybe" but not a commitment. If a commitment is what she wants before having s3x, then she needs to have that discussion using clear, direct communication before they take that trip to the bedroom together. If she doesn't, it is very possible that they are both operating on different assumptions about expectations , needs and desires concerning the relationship. He's thinking short term casual while she's thinking long term committed, or vice versa. If she thinks not getting a commitment after having s3x is a problem, it was created by poor communication of her expectations and/or desires on her part and going ahead with s3x before the parameters of the relationship were made clear between them.

[@crissieasmr7765]

@@gr8-fun162 I don’t think you understood my original post. Saying “let’s see where it goes” does not exclude the possibility of a relationship. It’s reasonable to say that if you are being pressured into a commitment with someone you don’t know. People who try to tie-down others into premature commitment are just as emotionally unavailable as people who deflect conversations about commitment. There is a lot of nuance in the real world.

[@gr8-fun162]

@@crissieasmr7765I don't think you're understanding my comments. Your original post reads, "... if you manage to get into a 'committed relationship' with a guy who wants 'to see where it goes'...". The two are mutually exclusive. If he "wants to see where it goes," then he has not committed. Therefore one cannot be in a mutually committed relationship with a guy who still "wants to see where it goes." Yes, it does not exclude the possibility of a relationship. In fact, one already exists, it's just not a committed relationship. If she thinks it is committed and he is saying it is not with "let's see where it goes," then there is confusion and misunderstanding. Perhaps the angst lies in that she felt committed to him, and went to the bedroom with him, assuming he felt the same and there would be commitment from him in return without discussing it first. Then, when there wasn't, she got upset. People can be emotionally available before commitment, in fact, they usually are, it's the healthy path to commitment. Saying, "let's see where it goes" is not a deflection, it is saying, "I am not ready for a commitment - yet." Confusing "nuances" and expectations of "mind reading" of said nuances are reduced or eliminated with upfront, open, honest communication.

[@lisajoye5721]

I like "positively cautious." It's true about gut feelings. Women have very instinctive, intuitive awareness that we do not use often enough, or do not tap into completely. Listen to that inner conscious voice when in a place of imbalance. Very seldom is it wrong. Great job again, Elliot! 😊💯

[@ashleygarden6906]

👍🎯🎯🎯

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Lisa Joye,hope you are with a good man

[@lisajoye5721]

@@lioydwilliams1850 Actually, not right now. I have learned to let go of unhealthy situations and focus on becoming the best I can be for myself first, then for someone else, if it is to be in my future. It is an ongoing process.

[@skytyler3997]

I usually put in the effort, but if I see that she's not reciprocating it back, I just walk away.