Embracing ADHD and autism isn’t a burden, it’s a gift | Sonay Erten | TEDxBeckenham

After being diagnosed with autism and ADHD at the age of 32, Sonay shares her story as someone who does not fit the stereotype but nonetheless experienced struggles without the support and acceptance of how her brain operates.
She shows how ADHD and autism are not disorders but simply differences in how brains operate, and that support and acceptance can come from making small changes.
Now armed with a diagnosis and getting the support she needs, she is not just a successful lawyer but supports others as a coach, a podcast host, a speaker and a volunteer.
In her talk she highlights that embracing autism and ADHD isn't a burden, it's a gift. Sonay Erten is a self-employed lawyer, coach and speaker. Having received a late diagnosis of ADHD and autism at the age of 32, Sonay left her employed role at a traditional law firm in favour of a role as a self-employed consultant with a more modern and inclusive firm. Sonay’s diagnosis not only impacts her work as a lawyer, where she helps clients to resolve disputes in a different way to traditional lawyers, but in order to support other neurodivergent individuals. Sonay advocates and supports other neurodivergents as a coach, peer supporter and mentor for neurodivergent legal professionals as well as being regularly invited to speak at events both within the legal profession and for businesses outside of the profession. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@musherwood11]

Hearing things like this on days where ADHD feel like a burden is very powerful.

[@sonay-erten]

Thank you so much, I'm glad it helped!

[@myriamstajkowski3958]

Watching this talk with silent tears running down my face. I was diagnosed with adhd at age 48 and I suspect I'm also autistic. Thank you for sharing your experience and speaking up for us all ❤

[@sonay-erten]

You’re very welcome, thank you for watching and your kind comment 💚

[@eloiseleher6963]

"Being described as smart, high achiever AND lazy and not achieving potential!" Jessica McCabe of says that the contradiction is the challenge of ADHD. Sonay, you expressed this contradiction so well: "hang on, it doesn't seem there is anything wrong with her!" Thank you for expressing your pain and your vulnerability as a woman, as a girl, as a wonderfully wired person and your resulting masking. I'm so happy to share this talk. Can you feel me linking arms with you in the mission to express the contradiction, the need to see difference, celebrate unique strengths and support challenge.

[@sonay-erten]

Thank you for such a lovely comment - I love 'wonderfully wired'!

[@MikeBaker-ig8yl]

Great talk Sonay, amazing to see someone talking about these topics so openly!

[@sonay-erten]

Thank you! So glad you enjoyed it!

[@user-bg3rp7oc7o]

An inspiring example to me of someone coming to terms with who they are and telling the world it has to do so as well.

[@sonay-erten]

Thank you so much!

[@leonadonaghy1870]

This blew me away! Related so hard to all of it. Powerful messages to teachers and to business owners! 👏👏👏

[@sonay-erten]

Thank you so much, that’s really kind of you!

[@luciebullen4683]

It's actually really validating as someone undiagnosed to hear your experiences and have so much to relate to! Really enjoyed listening 😊

[@sonay-erten]

Thank you! I’m glad you were able to relate to it…this is exactly why I did this talk!

[@fearlessspeakers1950]

I love that you offer some simple yet effective tips both for AuDHD'ers and for society to help make the world an easier place for neurodivergents to survive and thrive in.

[@sonay-erten]

Thank you Richard. Without you, I wouldn’t have had this opportunity so thank you!

[@N_x143]

Agreed! I'm so proud of you for speaking up! When we first spoke, I remember we connected over 'me too'. Me too, because we both were diagnosed in our 30s, and lawyers. I love how passionate you are about raising awareness, and showing the otherside to ASD and ADHD - there isn't anything wrong with the person themselves ! 💕 Combined time ADHD - talking a lot is you at your best. I love this! Telling you not to talk, is telling you to mask and setting you up in a highly anxious state of course!! As always, S, you're hugely inspiring !

[@sonay-erten]

Thank you so much for your lovely comment, means a lot! It’s crazy how many of there are but I really hope this talk promotes more awareness and gets more of us who have lived all our lives undiagnosed to finally understand, it’s not their fault.

[@Her.Excellency]

Loved this! Thank you for making me feel less of a weirdo like people usually describe me. Now I’m aware of my possibilities and will give doing the things I truly desire a proper shot❤. Honestly, it’s never easy for people from broken homes and no in-depth support systems to cope. I’ve never been diagnosed by a therapist or psychologist but, I do suffer from the aforementioned symptoms and it’s a struggle. Thank you so much! And oh yes! I talk A LOT too😅

[@sonay-erten]

Thank you, so glad to hear I made you feel less of a weirdo although to be honest I always feel like a weirdo! Keeping being you (and talking a lot!)

[@lridley2]

Oh Sonay amazing talk 👏🏼 you can hear the passion running through you!! Great presentation and you’re just brilliant xx

[@sonay-erten]

Aw that's so kind of you thank you!

[@owenvaughan4988]

Thank you for sharing your experiences so openly and eloquently.

[@sonay-erten]

You’re welcome, I’m glad you liked it!

[@juliecarter8605]

Wow. Just wow. Thank you so much. You are amazing !!!!!

[@sonay-erten]

Thank you!

[@jimalancarter]

You're amazing, love this! So proud of you!

[@sonay-erten]

Aw thanks!

[@ToksAruoture]

Loved this! Very insightful and beautifully delivered.

[@sonay-erten]

Thank you, really appreciate it!

[@weekendwireless]

What a great lecture. I learnt so much from this and the presentation was clear and easy to understand.

[@sonay-erten]

Thank you so much!

[@tugceerten3556]

really enjoyed watching this. it's very informative!

[@sonay-erten]

Thank you so much, very kind of you!

[@ausomecharlie]

This is brilliant, well done Sonay

[@sonay-erten]

Thank you, your feedback means a lot!

[@jenniferprice3401]

Thank you! Brilliant! It is life saving for me as I have been considering that I just don't belong and can exist in this world. Simply there is little knowledge or awareness of inclusion and accessibility for those with hidden disability. Often we are meet with 'the eye roll' or we are over-reactimg. I was told in my performance review as a teacher, that my outstanding knowledge of curriculum and pedagogy was admirable but I should 'tone down my passion' as other staff might find it overwhelming.... When I go into the outside public world, I feel like I am being assaulted by automatic machine guns, polite requests to turn down the music just a little (8am in the morning) I am treated like 'a Karen'. I am going to spread this to help others understand that I am not being difficult, consider the hidden disability and how chronically disabling it can be. Universal Design - what accommodates PWD, accommodates all. Thank you. You are brilliant

[@sonay-erten]

Wow thank you so much for your kind words. I’m sorry to hear about what you’ve experienced but sadly not surprised. We’re a long way from true awareness (especially in the case of non-visible disabilities). But I hope my talk goes some way towards changing that so really appreciate you sharing it.

[@gulcin197]

Very interesting and delivered very well.

[@sonay-erten]

Thank you so much, glad you liked it!

[@chloemercadal5740]

Thank you

[@sonay-erten]

You're welcome, glad you liked it! :)