7 things men care about in a woman, that they get SHAMED for.

[@serelryk5365]

My best friend once dated a single mom. They were together for 2 years, and had just gotten engaged. There were multiple vacation pictures and the like on Facebook of him carrying around her infant/toddler daughter, her baby bags, bottles, diapers, etc. and the guys at our workplace constantly ridiculed him for helping take care of "some other dude's kid". He loved both the woman and that little girl, and was fully prepared to be a father to her full-time. When she and the biological father had broken up (or divorced, don't remember which), he moved out of state, and 2-3 years had gone by without so much as a word from him. Then one day he just comes back into town and calls her, saying that he wants to get together and talk. She told my friend about it of course, and said that she just wanted to hear whatever he had to say since they do have a daughter together. She broke up with my friend the very next day, and got back together with her ex. My friend was crushed, not only over losing her out of the blue, but also because it meant losing what had become his almost/would-be-daughter. I know those are probably extreme and unusual circumstances. But it has always been such a huge cautionary tale to me when it comes to single moms. Especially ones where the biological father is still alive.

[@Tetradepodmelontea]

Being with your first man and father of children is morally preferable , if there are chances to work things out...

[@ronaldlee3537]

serelryk5365: I don't it would have worked out for your friend, the GF was not over her ex-husband/BF. He dodged a bullet.

[@relicpathfinder2800]

​@@Tetradepodmelontea So just using someone emotionally and financially for two plus years is acceptable to you?

[@morpheus6749]

Your friend was never anything but a nanny. A full time nanny that not only never got paid, but paid out the nose for the privilege of being a nanny. She'll be laughing her ass off for the rest of her life.

[@Smytjf11]

​@@Tetradepodmelontea 🤯

[@chrisschultz6129]

8. humility. 9. admitting when you're wrong

[@pauljimerson8218]

Kryptonite

[@Jovane2707]

Save your money and stay at home guys 🗿

[@honeybadger6313]

Good luck with that one.

[@SportsAndWeights]

I'm still yet to find that diamond in the rough......... Admitting when you are wrong. Numerous times I have bent my answers after fights just trying not to fight. I can't remember any woman admitting any fault. The most you will get is I understand why you feel that way "BUT"!

[@morpheus6749]

What, are these your gay additions to the list? The list is about men. Straight men.

[@stilettoheelslover]

Women say they have preferences for physical types *all* *the* *time* (he must be 6ft+, must have a six-pack, must be packing 6-inches+, etc etc), and they get applauded and cheered-on for it. But if a man expresses *any* type of preferences for physical type, he gets shamed into the dirt. Massive hypocrisy by women, and we're tired of it.

[@momauri1012]

Double standards abound here Emily and appreciate you bringing this to the forefront. Women can state all day long what they prefer with no repercussions, yet we say something and we get blasted. I'm not shy about my standing up for my values and if it offends any particular woman, all I can say is, don't let the door hit your a$$ on the way out

[@markpashia7067]

I am seventy now, but when I got divorced at thirty with custody of two toddlers, it was scary how many women expected me to be fine with their kids but did not want to reciprocate with my kids. I dropped out of dating for years over that. Once my kids were on their own, I was not ready to raise someone else's kids either, so alone is my life.

[@CoolKoon]

"did not want to reciprocate with my kids." - Yep, those were not good people in the slightest (to put it mildly).

[@lukearts2954]

@@CoolKoon only, it's 99% of real women in dating apps (so not counting the crypto trolls, scammers and bots) that are like that. I kid you not. I'm in the very same situation, and I've done the test. When I hide the fact that I have a son in elementary school, I get daily likes. When I mention my kid, I get literally zero. (and that's not a "literally" like the kids use it these days. It's a literal "literally"... smh)

[@CoolKoon]

@@lukearts2954 "only, it's 99% of real women in dating apps" - That still means 99% of those women are trash. Not to mention the fact that most "dating" apps are only about one-night stands anyway, so there's really no point in mentioning kids there anyway.

[@lukearts2954]

@@CoolKoon actually no, LTR is one of my primary filter requirements. Also, the 1% of women that don't mind the kid, are the ones who say they want long term, but indeed just want to shag. What I wanted to say is: it's not that there is "just an evil faction that will think that way", but instead it's the entire available pool that thinks that way. I get the very same responses in real life too, not just on dating apps. I think decent women who become single over 30 are so extremely rare that you won't find them in every country, and usually the only reason for them to become single, is when they are widowed. I'm trying very hard to not pass judgment or build a prejudice towards single women over 30, but the real life examples are making it nearly impossible to succeed. Since we're not allowed to approach women anymore, they should think real hard and come up with the solution, because no matter how sophisticated the solution men come up with, they will not accept it.

[@CoolKoon]

@@lukearts2954 "LTR is one of my primary filter requirements" - Uhm, how to put it....yeah, that filter does not do what you think it does.... "I think decent women who become single over 30 are so extremely rare that you won't find them in every country, and usually the only reason for them to become single, is when they are widowed. " - Yes, I fully agree.

[@PCMJ77]

I was in a long term relationship where the woman TRIED to shame me for being a single Dad....Essentially it was choose me or choose the child! You know how that one HAS to end...I was a Dad of a young woman who needed guidance, and the lady friend was an adult, so I chose my child. It was quite OK for HER to be a single Mom, but if I brought up my daughter, it was disgust, frowns, etc. on the lady's face. See ya.

[@matthewhuszarik4173]

I would never choose anyone over my child.

[@sayonnara_4042]

You dodged a bullet. Like in the Matrix.

[@akulkis]

You know, the archetype of the vicious stepmother wasn't invented out of the blue. And The Brady Bunch is nothing but pure lies, meant to ease the country into divorce culture. Supposedly Widow and Widower, but seriously, it's obvious what they were really supposed to be.

[@morpheus6749]

You brought it onto yourself. And it had absolutely NOTHING to do with your child. How? At some point, very early in your relationship, you showed yourself to be the pu55y that you are. Your child was just a convenient tool that happened to be around. A handy club that she picked up and began bashing you with once she realized you're a pu55y. Women smell weakness the way a dog smells raw meat. Except they're better at it.

[@alexanderg5386]

It was because your daughter is the other woman in your life. If you had a son It be different. Woman are dark like that.

[@orionfrost]

#8 accountability #9 Respect #10 Appreciation for things we do for a woman.

[@Tiger74147]

I love that point about baggage: it's NOT a problem that a woman has had challenging life experiences (in fact I prefer that), it's when they haven't used those challenges as opportunities to grow and learn and take accountability. The usual coping mechanism I see is just blaming everyone else for their problems and expecting others to deal with them indefinitely while making no steps to resolve them.

[@deangerber1797]

Narcs

[@danballe]

word!

[@lukearts2954]

I agree. She threw that in there as a little caveat, but in fact it is the main point. It's not the baggage that is an issue, because it can be an asset. It's the unresolved state of things. But we have to understand that this is a woman saying it, however understanding she is. And women just have different definitions (aka double standards) even subconsciously. When women say they don't want "drama" or don't want a man with baggage, they actually mean the totality of the baggage. They don't want a man who has known hardship, no matter how much it made him grow and learn. Because that is in their mind the only way of not having unresolved issues...

[@rauldelarosa2768]

yes I've seen people who just refuse to heal and take ownership for their own lives. I know sometimes things happen and I even met a friend of my wife's it was a beautiful person who I really liked for a friend of mine she was really crushing on one of our guy friends, but she had Trauma from severe horrible things that happened to her in the past and she never really healed from that and she had serious serious baggage and she was no good for anybody until she healed.. I suspect she still hasn't healed and it's unfortunate because I feel like that's her biggest problem is going to be the fact that she just won't heal. And there's people like that.

[@Penfold497]

Growth is very attractive and almost all women stop growing by age 14 So you have the mind of a 14 year old in the used up body of whatever Very unattractive

[@CourtneyIsGoblin]

I've never seen your content before because I usually go to male coaches when curious about the male experience of dating. Often times, female coaches are too blinded by their own preferences as women or worse, feminist propaganda. But all your points were moderate, grounded in reality, and not intended to demonize men or women. Great video.

[@nickcunningham6344]

As a man, I have yet to watch a single emilywking video or short that I've disagreed with. She's definitely someone worth listening to

[@LewpyDrewpy714]

She's in my Top Three Favorite. Sarah Dawn Moore, and Dadvacate are the other two. Dadvacate is pretty funny too.

[@Zed-1213]

I recommend The Dadvocate as well.

[@FloridaGuy549]

I believe, like at least one other woman mentioned here, this lady was in a previous bad relationship or had a few bad relationships, and unlike a lot of other women, she learned a lot about herself, and men. Changed or destroyed her previous attitude and misconceptions about men. We truly are not that complicated, unlike women. But this woman seems to be more connected than the other two mentioned when it comes to understanding men. Congratulations on your awakening. 😁

[@augusthawks6576]

#2 - baggage. I dated a woman who had been through terrible ordeals throughout her life. She just broke down one night and told me all about it. I wasn't that kind of man so I figured we'd get along great. Turns out she liked being treated like crap and broke up with me because I "cared too much". Next time I saw her she was at a bar with a guy that talked to her (in front of all his friends) like she was dirt. I had to leave.

[@Variable-2-actual]

i've met 3 women like this. i treated them with respect and they dump me for not treating them right.

[@drlcartman]

You nailed one of the main reasons I won’t date a single mom. About fifteen years ago, my uncle’s dog died. I cried. Wasn’t even my dog, never had a dog, but I saw him almost every day. Women don’t understand bonds men make with people or animals.

[@martingindulis5310]

Most women are upset if a man is friends with his x.

[@DartJedi]

I have dated single mothers. I was also a single parent with custody. Child is grown now. I always felt bad for the kids. The worst was the women with pets, got more attached to them by the time it was over. And I am not an animal person, which is another thing guys get shamed for.

[@morpheus6749]

Lol... dude you gay?

[@paultemple3660]

They both don't know and don't care, in my case at least.

[@sadenbrick]

​@@DartJediyes bro I miss my girlfriend's cat. 😂😂😂😂😅😅😅😅😊😊😊😊

[@onyx.avenger]

For #3 - I once tried dating a woman who was extremely independent. There's a huge difference between "I'm self-sufficient" and "I don't want your help." I want to be _partners_ with my partner so we can both ask for and accept help from each other, not just "you do your things and I'll do my things." I'm reminded of a time where she was decorating for Halloween and invited me over, but didn't want ANY help from me (not even handing her decorations or tape) so I just kinda sat around while she did all of the work -- it felt awkward.

[@jand.4737]

agreed, that would totally feel awkward. I'd want to help, too. If she doesn't want help, then invite me over *after* everything is already finished, so that we have time for each other. But then, also don't call me a boyfriend, because in my eyes that's not what I am when the only reason I am there is to make out or such.

[@OpenCarry2024]

Being independent AKA self-sufficient VS saying they don't need you and treating you like crap are two different things. A lot of these modern girls. Keyword girls they're not really grown up yet until they're at least 30 or 35 in my opinion that don't really know crap about the world in the first place cuz they're still kids lol seem to think that to be independent means you don't need no man and that you're going to treat your man like crap and that it's okay. We all know based on proven science it is of course not okay they're just too clueless to know because there's still kids and ignorant

[@grepora]

What are you complaining about? You had a woman who didn't want you to do anything for her. She wanted to do it all herself. Let her. You had an opportunity to have your own domestic goddess. Adore her. She's wonderful. It's like fishing. Sometimes you have to let the fish run a little or you risk breaking the line. All you needed to do was to stand near her and look at her with bedroom eyes when you tell her "You're so sexy when you're decorating." Flirt with her. If she doesn't want to kiss you then, she just wanted you there in case she fell off the ladder. Or start telling Halloween jokes ("How can you tell when Dracula is sick? By his coffin.") You make her laugh and she will only want you more. You make her feel good and she will make you feel good. Positive words of affirmation work wonders. When you let her do her own things that make her happy, she intuitively knows you are not uptight or controlling. Too many men think they need to control a woman (although many women do want to be dominated), that is not the way to lead her. You lead her by talking with her. Tell her about your boundaries (what is unacceptable to you). Tell her about your standards (your requirements). Tell her what you want from a relationship. And expect her to do the same with you. Keep communication open, positive, and friendly. Find ways to have s much fun as possible together: date night at least twice a month, visit museums, take road trips, travel, cruises, etc. Positive experiences bond you together. Negative ones kill love. Are all guys these days idiots?

[@MustangsTrainsMowers]

Did she have a strong vibe to need everything to be perfect?

[@MrXanitos]

​@@greporano, guys are not idiots. For example, you just described a man. Literally almost all of what you said were reversed roles. Men don't want to date men that come in women's bodies; the woman described sounded more masculine than the one doing the talking. Traditionally the talking was done by women. Watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding, it outlined it quite well. Men want to be needed, it's part of that "traditional" man bit. If I'm not needed, then I'm not going to date that female. Most men imo, are just not interested in a relationship where we each do own thing. Independent means "there is no need" for you. My woman will be joining my life, not the other way around.

[@dhunter1133]

After my wife passed and I was ready to re-enter the dating world, I can honestly attest that I encountered four kinds of women: 1) women who wanted a paycheck and/or a dad for their kid by another man; 2) women who were perpetually angry at me for things other men did to them; 3) women who were utterly batshit crazy; and 4) women who were fairly normal but had an extremely specific vision for "Mr. Right" and weren't willing to compromise on that vision. Ladies, if you're in your midlife and still looking for a relationship, PLEASE make sure you don't fall into one of these categories, because none of them care one bit about what the guy wants. Not one.

[@stewiesaidthat]

At this stage, women don't need a man other than financial resources. Marriage was once about building an empire. Improving a piece of land, building a house, making it a home by raising the next generation. Now, there are so many kids running around that the majority of females aren't interested in procreation, of being a helpmate, and helping the male build a kingdom. They just want a host organism that they can leech off of.

[@Jan-qv8ku]

I’m not any of those types. We do exist.

[@dr.dealgood2690]

Really good characterization. Also excellent reasons for becoming a passport bro and why I am leaving the West. I will also note that your third point doesn't get talked about enough.... Women are very prone to mental health problems and 1 in 5 are on anti-depressants. (According to the CDC). Drug use and alcoholism is also rampant. Like most guys I want absolutely nothing to do with anyone who is psychologically damaged. A women could be a perfect match in every other way but if I catch even a hint of mental/psychological damage I'd run like I'd just eaten bad Mexican food....

[@AbesYoutube]

@Dhunter1133 Men are more attracted by how you treat them, the values and worldview you hold. These things matter way more than how young you look. Because they will affect your capacity to have an enjoyable conversation and desirability for virtue and respect, does she honor what should be kept sacred? Because that will affect his capacity to cherish her and his ability to pair bond with her. As well as hers with him. Men might like to flirt and sleep with the girl showing the most flesh at the flesh market. But she had Hoe-zoned herself by showing the goods to all his friends. WIFE material will not do that. A wife keeps sacred things sacred and does not make them public. Only fools make sacred things public and lock themselves in the hoe-zone so long as the man knows about their only fans' page+ history. It's not misogyny to be wired like a man, but it is feminist magical thinking to ignore reality and human history. Men have always wanted a vergin for a bride, and that will never change. Read a book if you disagree. If you want a good time while you're young, then chase temporary gratification, but if you want a meaningful relationship, a family and companionship. Don't buy the feminists lie. Modesty and chastity are STIILL more valuable as wife material than VDs and notches on your bedposts.

[@americafirst9144]

Sounds challenging. Hope you have better luck in the future.

[@levantine1978]

This video brought up memories of an ex from a few years ago. We were in the earlier days of dating (couple months) and were trading war stories of our time on the apps. She made a comment about how I wasn't her normal type. She normally went for big, burly, blue-collar types and I'm kind of the opposite of that. I agreed with her and chuckled because while I didn't think I had a type until that moment, I realized I had a pattern of dating thicker, more "top heavy" women prior to her. Apparently my realizing this was a problem that turned into an absolute deal breaker. Up until that point it felt like we were just having a light conversation. My body was grounds for comparison but hers wasn't. She then hit me with some legit body shaming and told me that her comparing me to other men was different than me comparing her to other women and that I should feel lucky she settled. Thankfully I had the self confidence at the time to end things there and we didn't see each other again.

[@Katiefollowingjesus]

Dang. 😢

[@ViveNate]

Dodged an intercontinental ballistic missile, my dude. Good on ya for having the self respect to end that.

[@MrBabylon]

100% Dodged an ICBM there pal, trust your comrades in arms.

[@PaulMathis-k8e]

I've learned my lesson. New motto: I'm humble enough to know I'm replaceable and cocky enough to know it's a downgrade.

[@mixy-m3w]

My husband stuck with me (and still does as I heal) through all my baggage. He saw how my parents treated me and tried to get him to treat me, but how strong I was through it and how hard I work to heal now. Most people say he's a saint for sticking with me or that I'm using him, which he hates. I love him so much and am very grateful. I always want him to have everything, and I feel so bad to have to lean on him so much. ❤️

[@michaelfullerton3626]

I can probably speak for a lot of men when I say that we generally don't mind being leaned on for things. If the woman is there for when the man needs some TLC, then that is a healthy relationship. Note to any other women reading this: "Put in the same effort you expect from us!" It's when the woman leans (dumps) on the man when it's immediately beneficial for the woman, then shuns the man in his time of need. Worse yet, treats the man horribly and berating him when dealing (read: transferring her pain over to the man) with her issues rather than asking the man for his advice and assistance, that's a problem.

[@nickcunningham6344]

The thing about baggage is that it's not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I'm gonna make a bold statement and say that at least 95% of humans have some sort of baggage. It's the coping mechanism that comes from emotional baggage, like blaming others for your problems rather than acknowledging that you have problems, that turns men away. Like Emily said, we don't want to be fixers. But we don't mind helping and supporting a woman we love while she fixes her own baggage and grows as a person.

[@justaskin8523]

@@michaelfullerton3626 - Your first paragraph is 100% on target, Michael. I've never had a woman reciprocate after I provided her with support, mental, emotional, physical, and yes, sometimes financial. So now I help when I am called (by a higher will than hers or mine) to do so, but I always have an exit plan in mind. Usually the lady is on to other things (or another guy) by the time she realizes that I'm not calling or I've stopped checking up on how she's doing. Hey, I'm on to other things too. I was glad I could help you in your time of need, but now that time is over with, by your own will.

[@justaskin8523]

@@nickcunningham6344 - Baggage is not necessarily a bad thing. You're right, Nick. But it's what we do when we end up with baggage...that's what counts. It's bad if you're constantly putting new bricks into your own backpack but never taking any out. When your load becomes too heavy for you to carry on your own, somebody else's strength is nice to rely on, but there's no way you can expect another person to help you carry your bricks for you the rest of the way. You have to decide for yourself what you're going to do with them.

[@nickcunningham6344]

@@justaskin8523 I agree completely

[@NightOwlModeler]

I was friends with a single mom, who wanted more... but she at one point also said she didn't want my stance dealing with disciplining 'her child'. That was a HUGE "backing off" moment for me. We stayed 'friends' for a number of years later remotely, but she was definitely "off the table" in terms of serious relationship. So Point 7 in the video about the man becoming attached to the child, certainly is a valid point and one of the main reasons that I generally had it as a rule that I never date a single mom. The point the Em makes about becoming attached to the child and things not working out years down the line hadn't crossed my mind, but with my experiences, I already knew that these types of issues were a red-flag. I really didn't like the feeling of "I like you, you're a good man,.... buuuut I don't want you to have your values put onto my child who I'm having discipline problems with." Nope, not gonna deal with that because I've seen too many parents baby their spoiled bratty kids and it doesn't help the child in the long run. - even in two-parent homes... the single-mom situation is way worse in this way, because she 'didn't want to be the bad-guy'. The child has turned out ok so far, but he's still done things and stuff that aren't the best.

[@Anime_Jesus]

I get this. I'm not for halfway being a step parent. Either I'm fully their dad, or I'm not.

[@Frankie433]

@@Anime_Jesus 🤣

[@NotMuchHere]

Right there with ya ... your kid is ruining his life, drug charges, no work ethic .. i do not want to get involved and you dont want to hear about it from me .. donesville. PS, its going to be my house too ... nope, not going to be cut out of the behavior of my house. If we can't work it out then we can't walk together ...

[@rayakoth]

The thing with dating a single mom has to do with her priorities. If her priorities are on the child, you miss out. If her priorities are on you, instead of the child, you probably wouldn't want to be serious with someone like that any ways.

[@GringoXalapeno]

It depends on the situation honestly I married a single mom and my stepdaughters and I are inseparable as well

[@danielhastings3167]

Our dating preferences are deeply personal. Your preferences don't need to make sense and they don't need approval from others. No one has a right to question your reason for not dating someone.

[@synchronium24]

" Your preferences don't need to make sense" This I agree with. "No one has a right to question your reason for not dating someone." Well not for vetoing the date per se, but it could be indicative of other problems. If someone won't date black people because of racism (as opposed to, say, just not liking the skin tone), they don't owe a black person a date and it would be counterproductive to try to force them to. Instead, the people bitching about racist dating preferences would be better off pointing out that the racism itself is a problem, regardless of who the person chooses to date.

[@brandehhh2023]

This!

[@prant8998]

Though, let’s not leave out some ridicule. On line dating shows all the preferences in black and white. Like the 5’-1’ women who want a guy at least 6’-3”. Really? What it shows is the absurdity of some of these so called desires from the sense of realistic availability. And, of course, all others are completely rejected? No one wants to settle, but no one wants a lonely life either, or do they?

[@nickcunningham6344]

@@prant8998 This is the problem. Because no one owes it to anyone to date them. And everyone is entitled to their standards. But women's standards have become unreasonable. This leads to most men ending up lonely and unwanted (which as a guy, I consider a problem). But the only solution to this I can think of is for women to lower their standards. But everyone is entitled to their standards. But standards have become unreasonable. This lea-... You get the point. So what's the solution here? How do we solve male loneliness.

[@poulwinther]

​@@nickcunningham6344They are not only unreasonable, they're impossible. I saw this podcast where the girl had to set a few requirements about height, weight, income and age range. She knew she was in the spotlight so clearly tried to tone it down, only to say 5'10 and 100k. Still, she ended 0.5% of men, before even talking about looks, style, behaviour etc. She was a standard 6 thinking her dense makeup made her a 10 and the one in a thousand guys she would in reality consider has much better options.

[@howardrichburg2398]

I married a single woman that has a very young daughter, 4 yrs old. Been happilied married 28+ years now and 3 kids. Told her the only way it will work is if I can treat the little girls as my own child. It worked and she believes I'm her father, knowing I'm not the one that caused her birth. She turned out awesome. When you get to your 30s, the odds of fining a childless single woman gets more rare. Most gave big issues, avoid them. But there are a few that are not too damaged. Also helps that the biological father was nowhere in our lives. One less issue.

[@kemarisite]

Mine was a five-year-old stepson sixteen years and six of our own children ago. Same story with the sperm donor; his truck payment was more important than the child he helped make.

[@hdcvo2570]

Problem is, you never know if one day he pops in and say hi, I’m here

[@gudfarfar]

Speaking from experience dating a single mum, I must say the breakup was pretty hard on me because of the kids we shared back then. From being a family man, to living alone in a hole in the basement of someone's house, was super hard to grasp, and I spent a lot of hours feeling sorry for myself. That is when I swore never to get involved with a single mum ever again. The heartache and pain is just too much, and not worth the risk. Since then I have been married 20 years and we have a 14 year old son together that is our pride and joy, and I am sorry to admit that we spoil him a bit, being a single child. My wife had a limited number of previous men in her life and she fit me very well. I have not had many girlfriends, so we are a good match. She is very supportive and I love her, "every day and twice on sundays", as the saying goes.

[@michaelschroeck2254]

#3 is spot on. If she doesn’t NEED you, you’ll never be a priority. And if you want needs met, you are labeled needy.

[@andrewgoldstein1029]

Nah. I don't want a woman to NEED me. I want a woman to WANT me. Huge difference.

[@jasonfitzpatrick414]

That's what I'm worried about. She doesn't need anyone, so she acts accordingly. I'm afraid she is going to hit her mid 40s before she realizes it is not a game. She should still be pretty by then. I pray for maturity.

[@gwouru]

To put your points in the other perspective: 1- Women are sexist for wanting only 6 foot tall jacked dudes. 2- Women don't want men to have emotions, let alone emotional baggage. Unless they do, to make fun of them. 3-Women don't want a man who's unavailable emotionally. 4-Women don't want accountability for their actions, but want to hold men accountable for the actions of someone else. 5-Women think you're cheating, if men remain friends with even one female, ex or not. 6-Women think you're cheating, if men like a photo that isn't themselves. 7-Women don't want to date single dads. But will sue for child support, someone they know 100% isn't the father. Lets start shaming women for the things they shame men for.

[@MrBugman3009]

exactly. women want men that are both strong and soft. Sorry, a guy is one or the other. He's either tough, or sensitive. The two are opposites. You can't turn it on and off. You're either a jerk, or a wimp.

[@samusaran7317]

@@MrBugman3009 Men typically are not black and white like that. Myopic ignorance

[@seanl6478]

Don’t feel too bad, I’m 6’3 and don’t get shit

[@gwouru]

@@seanl6478 None of my list was personal, just throwing some shade using their own words. It doesn't apply to every woman, but it does apply to the majority of women you see on youtube complaining about these things.

[@thedynamicsolo4232]

Social Media women say "I want a man than can get emotional with me" and then you see them crucify Jordan B. Peterson for becoming teary eyed and shaky over the plight of lonely young men on national TV. The man is a national treasure and they flayed him open. Cruel souls they are.

[@KegWarrior]

I've met quite a few women who will openly talk about their preferences like height, weight, muscles, skin color, hair color/length, etc while also condemning any idea of a man having preferences let alone express them, basically the female version of an incel except incels don't usually express themselves unless they're allowed anonymity from the internet. I know most aren't like this, but enough are to make it a common experience, at least for myself. Preferences are normal, simply not being interested in someone because of their appearance alone is not shaming anyone.

[@raygover7458]

Women have a difficult time with men's standards/preferences because they may not qualify.

[@matthewandrews3883]

I think it goes more into their feelings getting hurt, and that's why they have a problem with men's preferences. If they have a preference and express it, and if it's not us, we'll move on. It's not a big deal.

[@armanddefrank7984]

Yep

[@Zundfolge]

What kills me are the women that will shame a man for having preferences, but she's a 5 that refuses to date a guy who doesn't have the 3 6's.

[@dahliafiend]

Most are like this.

[@Remianen]

With regard to #2, 4, 5, and 7, I heard someone explain this very succinctly: Women want a man with a future. Men want a woman without a past. Really simple.

[@davidmoulton8941]

#7 As a child of a single mom, I have a special place in my heart for the struggles of single women the tears, the loneliness I saw in her growing up that said I personally would never want to add to any child's truma if I dated a single mother and it didn't work out. It's not just adults Kids Matter and are effected

[@IaconDawnshire]

Women: "I want a man who's 6ft tall!" Men: I want a woman who isn't obese and doesn't have a high body count. Women: >:(!!!!

[@lyianx]

Yeeep.. Women are the very hypocritical.

[@Alex_Riddles]

That shouldn't be a problem. I identify as 6 feet tall. So, my measured height shouldn't matter.😂

[@dax_prime1053]

you forgot "with abs!"

[@IaconDawnshire]

@@dax_prime1053 Or it's 6 inches but with how women are becoming more unrealistic by the day that should increase to 8 inches!

[@chikkipop]

I have an idea what "body count" is, but I could be mistaken; when did this term become common?.

[@jasonwells1471]

You nailed it, every single one in detail. Great Job Emily! And this is why I don't even bother dating anymore. Women demand too many ridiculous impossible expectations, and we get shamed for our simple expectations and standards. This is why more and more men are single these days, we are tired of the BS!

[@TheJamesGamel]

[ 00:20 ] Physical Preferences [ 01:57 ] Women without baggage [ 03:20 ] Wanting someone to need them [ 04:28 ] Caring about her Body Count [ 05:30 ] Not wanting her ex's to be friends [ 06:31 ] Posting provocative pictures or dressing provocatively for inappropriate times [ 07:07 ] Single moms not wanted or needed

[@TheJamesGamel]

@TheRageGuys LMAO, think of it as a "Table of Contents"

[@nerifterafrnam4682]

Body count is a faithfullness indicator , the higher count the less likely she will stick to her man.

[@sadenbrick]

​@@nerifterafrnam4682not necessarily, low body count means they are less desirable.

[@liltunturi1251]

@@sadenbrick if someone with low body count is viewed as less desirable, that it does mean that there will be less opportunities to cheat. But I think it applies to men more than women, that less partners = less attractive. It would be a different situation if the woman had like over 100 body count (which for some it is still low number), and then she wishes to find a husband material man, she will have a much harder time, unless she lies about her past experiences. most men who wait for the right girls wont have even 10 sexual partners in their lifetime! It is a whole different world and culture. Therefore if girl has HIGH body count she will have problem finding exclusive long-lasting relationship And if guy has LOW body count he will have problem finding casual sexual partners, therefore requiring more effort and investment on his side.

[@synchronium24]

@@nerifterafrnam4682 I think that body count is a very poor proxy for loyalty. If they were cheating while getting that high body count, the cheating is the problem. If they never cheated while getting a high body count (e.g. lots of casual sex), I would take it as a compliment that they're interested in relinquishing that freedom to be with you.

[@mattslupek7988]

Another thing about the single-mom aspect is that you're taking on someone else's responsibility. If the father's dead, that's one thing, but where's the dad if he's not?

[@GoCoyote]

As a 5'10" tall man I have always found tall women (5'9" or taller) to be very attractive. But finding a "type" to be attractive (and my preference) has not stopped me (or even slowed me down) from falling in love with my girlfriends, and then my ex wife, most of whom were of average height, except one who was my preferred height. One falls in love with a person, and if they happen to be your preference, then that is a bonus. But it does not change ones love for a partner, just as your child's height and looks does not change your love of them. What does change love is lack of honesty, poor communication, and infidelity. Even then, most of the reasons you got together are still there, just as most of the reasons you broke up are still there.

[@BizzyJ1987]

I've had a step dad who was a definite father figure and didn't care that my older brother and I were another persons children. He cared about us like his own kids. This was in the 90s after all.

[@Tiger74147]

What a guy!

[@exothermal.sprocket]

The final point about a man getting involved with a single mother: if that relationship shatters, it's breaking his heart over her, but also her child/children that he became fond of, helped to grow in some manner as a male influence or role model. But let's also not forget the broken hearts of the child/children who attached to that man.

[@The_Judge300]

I have experienced exactly this. I loved the woman's daughter like she was my own and the daughter loved me as I was her dad. The relationship didn't end with lots of drama. We just understood that the relationship didn't work and had no future. Still she denied me and her daughter to have any contact and that was extremely difficult for both her daughter and me. Her daughter even tried to flee from her mother and wanted to move in with me. Of course that couldn't happen and she had to live with her mother. The girl felt that I betrayed her for bringing her back to her mother and that was extremely hard. I don't want anyone to experience this as it is extremely heartbreaking. If it is your own kid, you and the kid have rights, but if it is not, you are totally powerless.

[@exothermal.sprocket]

@@The_Judge300 What a heart wrenching thing. I am so sorry. Men need to be so careful in the process of getting to know a mother with children, to use utmost wisdom. There's a lot at stake on both sides. It can be the most beautiful thing ever, or it can be a heart wrenching thing.

[@reiniernn9071]

@@The_Judge300 This issue can be prevented (may be not in all countries/states) by adopting her child as youre own at tthe moment of marriage. At least giving you also legal rights.

[@christopherhenry2127]

For #7, my reasoning isn't as much what you stated (although that comes into play), it is when the single mother says "My kids are my priority" and then tell me "I better be your first priority." Why should I give my all to someone who places me on the back burner? When I am made to feel important, I prioritize those things that YOU care about (like the kids) and THEN your reasoning can become the issue about attachments.

[@Katiefollowingjesus]

Very good point! So many women do this.

[@Vegito2287]

There's also a gigantic difference between "Oh this chick has a kid..." and "Oh, this chick has 4 kids, from 3 different guys, her tubes are tied, physically can't have mine, even if we talked about it, and she wanted to... Like, honey... Do you not for one second think that maybe "good guys" actually want a "good woman" that could commit to them and give them kids? And it's not that ridiculous to want?

[@mickthomassen2887]

This information resonates with me. All the times I hear about women being offended and disparaging men regarding comments men make about their preferences for shapes, sizes, hair colour, breast size. One local news service has a female journalist/socialite whose entire focus is about how men are less than adequate. The last even focusing on her and her female friends criticizing and rating penis sizes! Have to wonder about how she and her friends would respond to similar comments about vaginas and other female body parts.

[@wmason1961]

Hypocrisy is the norm.

[@67comet]

I can relate to several of these .. Single mom's for me weren't an issue, UNLESS, their kid's were little turds, then I generally kept my distance. I did have a great relationship with my ex girlfriends daughter, that was really REALLY difficult (She's a year older than my daughter, and they were also besties). And like some women won't date a short guy, I won't date a tall woman (I'm 6' 200# (at the time), my ex wife was 6' 290'ish# (at the time).. our kids are tall and wonderful, but I missed hugging a "woman" I could snuggle into me. I also dated "Fixer'uppers", or women that had some unchecked or unbalanced luggage. Those put me in therapy (not joking), and I'm still in therapy just to keep myself in check. I've got a wonderful girlfriend now, she's short, has a very nice son, spent time getting herself taken care of, and we just so happened to find each other after we'd healed up from our pasts. I'm a very lucky man to be the one she choose to call hers.

[@benwelch4076]

I have to admit when this channel popped up on my feed, I was more amused than anything. I legitimately thought it was more for entertainment than anything. So wrong, this is one of the most informative and fun channels on these topics out there. Still working on getting through the videos, please keep them coming. Thank you for the content.

[@prschuster]

This reminds me of a very disturbing saying, I have heard: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best". Bye bye.

[@cryptic5142]

yup on #4 -- I'm 27 and saving myself for marriage, what's so wrong with me expecting any woman who wants to be with me to hold herself to the same standards by which I hold myself?

[@VTdarkangel]

You are 100% correct on #2. When I was younger, I dated a woman who had a lot of emotional baggage. I naively thought I could lead her through it. God forgive me for how wrong I was. It took me a year to get my own head back on straight after I broke up with her. That was a mistake I will never make again. When I met my wife after that relationship, I was very careful to make sure I wasn't getting into another situation like that again.

[@LA-cm9uo]

How would you have liked her to lead herself through it? Any specific suggestions? I'm in my early 20s and I have a wonderful boyfriend. However, recently he met my family, and my family has a LOT of issues, and he felt that. He said he feels uncertain about us raising a family because I am coming from such a family. What should I be doing to ensure his trust as we grow older?

[@VTdarkangel]

@@LA-cm9uo A big part is you need to figure out how much of this has affected you emotionally and how you treat him. Be willing to step back and honestly ask yourself some tough questions about your role in the fights you may have. Then you need to be willing to address some uncomfortable answers about yourself you may find. My ex liked to play emotional games because that's what she learned from her mom. She was also completely blind to how hypocritical she was with what she expected of me while not holding herself to those same standards. I could go on, but these are just a couple of examples of how her baggage affected our relationship. Whether or not she was willfully that way, I will never know, but it made me feel like I was constantly walking through a minefield. While you may love your boyfriend, he needs to be confident that you will be fair to him. It won't last long if he's feeling like he's constantly walking through a minefield. He also needs to see your family's issues aren't your individual personal issues. If you're talking about children, you need to work out a way to protect them from that emotional environment and build a better, more stable one for them. That is something that you both will have to be involved in. It could involve going as far as moving away and/or not allowing unsupervised visits with your family. It all depends on how bad the issues are. I could go on, but this also depends on him and what he's comfortable with. If he's so uncomfortable with the situauion that he's not willing to try, then move on. That says little about him or you other than the circumstances were incompatible.

[@kenbrown2808]

@@LA-cm9uo as someone who dated girls with baggage that they used to bludgeon me in any disagreement; and as someone who dated a girl whose family made it clear that any relationship with her would be a power struggle between men and them, the biggest thing you should do is make sure that in any dispute, the dynamic will be you and him together against anything that affects your relationship.

[@LA-cm9uo]

@@kenbrown2808 Thanks. It's been a month and things have gotten better since then. Wish you only health and luck

[@moon83star30]

That is why I'm thankful my husband and I met when we did, because we were both in a good place emotionally, mentally, and physically. It's honestly about timing.

[@eversin1283]

More than one baby daddy. Kids from one guy you can understand, but who needs the drama of having more than one ex involved in co-parenting or whatever.

[@denniskoppo4259]

I have to admit that I do have physical preference for appearance in women, but I'm old enough to have learned that my preference is based on some psychological imprinting so I am open to building actual relationships based on more internal aspects.

[@charliecarter1878]

Damn...If this ain't a channel for self awareness and self improvement for both males and females...I DON'T know what channel could possibly be...BEST CONTENT EVER... Dr Phil...Move aside bro...

[@chrisstoltz1617]

Another thing with the single moms. I dated a single mom for about 6 months. When we started dating, she told me that her kids would always come first. I didn't blame her for that attitude, but it did make me feel off. That relationship didn't last, she was asking way more than I was willing to give at that time in my life.

[@prant8998]

Yea, you see that on dating sights. “No one will take the place of my love for my kids.” Huh? Where do I fit in? I’m the simp that takes everyone out to dinner so I can have sex once in while? I have to say it, some women are drop dead stupid. They see men as one dimensional and to be used for appearances.

[@BruceCross]

No man should marry a woman who always places him second. That's not a marriage.

[@Achillez098]

#7 is a really big one, I'm happy Emily talked about it. Most men I know will make any sacrifice for their children even putting up with an unhappy marriage. So if a single mom takes interest in us, it sets off alarm bells in our heads We instantly want to know WHY her man left her, especially considering they have kids. Because if it was something the single mom did to drive the man away, and make him feel his children aren't worth the pain, then the rest of us want nothing to do with her. I'm not saying there aren't terrible dads out there, who leave due to selfish reasons.

[@reiniernn9071]

I'm married , children are both adult now. I would not want a single mom if divorced, I single mom who went to a sperma bank. But a single mom widow...husband may be killed in an accident. A single mom , who did NOT abort a child born due to raping....or similar. Those would not be ruled out before even meeting.

[@borislibaque1558]

Thanks for making this. Its refreshing to hear this from a woman, because as you pointed out the world is not a safe place for men to express themselves. I hope some version of this video finds its way to TikTok or Instagram with a wider female base as opposed to youtube which is mostly male. A lot of women don't know what men like or want and are genuinely curious or confused and would love to hear from someone who isn't...how did you put it...on a power trip. To all the gents out there, figure out how you matter and start being intentional with the value you bring, your time, your attention, carries incredible weight. Manage your presence, manage your absence. Womanese has a logic to it, and if you stay on your path, they'll notice, and place themselves along it

[@darrenskjoelsvold]

As a guy who is friends with his exwife, it's a question of forgiveness and trying to be the best person. I mean you're married to this person and they were a huge part of your life. So then you cut them out but that's easier said than done. My exwife and I had a very amicable divorce. I could have been bitter and hated her but forgiving her was very beneficial and good for my healing and recovery. So it's not always the best thing to cut them out of your life. What matters is the dynamic of the friendship. Is it flirty?that's a red flag. It mesns they have not gotten over them. But if it's not flirty then that's good.

[@billcarney829]

The fact that you freely admitted something that you used to do but don't any longer says a lot about you in a very positive way.

[@tonyolsen6192]

Yes, after raising her son for fifteen years, after the breakup, she said that I wasn't his dad. When I asked him if he wanted to meet his real dad, I was pleased that he told me I was the only one he wanted to know.

[@happisakshappiplace.6588]

When people talk about their private lives on Tic Tok or whatever social media, they may as well take a megaphone into a busy town square and blast out all the dirty intimate details for all to hear. Same difference. Also a HUGE red flag.

[@anon4kag]

As a topic recommendation, is the continuous decline in the number of men who see getting married and having kids is a good idea. Why? The only part of fathers & husbands that is not disposable, is their financial obligations. More and more of us are unwilling to invest in this very bad arrangement.

[@JohnMcClain-p9t]

I married a woman with a son and daughter forty years ago. I lost my wife to multiple sclerosis three years ago, lost our son to heart disease this spring, and I'm happy to still have our daughter, and it was a blessing because i never had kids of my own. I don't know about anyone else, but I've got a daughter with a great relationship, I've got grandchildren and even two great grandchildren. I'm blessed to have had them for the last forty years, children and now grandchildren and great grandchildren.

[@ssing7113]

Thank you Emily. It’s also sad many of us men have no people but on KZbin, giving us validation as no one around us can approve of our wants. Needs. Standards and we just get shamed for not accepting anything I do miss the Emily and Todd podcast though. You guys made great content and you’re killing it still making videos solo

[@trock7542]

Friendships with an ex is a deal breaker. Noooo F-in WAAYYY!

[@arminxvs3372]

It is always an unnecessary risik because there will NEVER be completely platonic dynamics. There is always some energy. I mean you saw that person naked. This makes something with you.

[@robhulson]

I saw a community post from a popular KZbin couple where they said that a woman telling her man, "Please correct me if I'm wrong," and then said, "It's bait for a trap, every time!" and all these wimpy men chiming in in the comments, "Oh, this one is absolutely true!" I've been with a scientist (literally) woman for five years and one of the things I most love about this woman is her ability to *recognize when she's making a mistake and make a change.* Sometimes even a minor one. Apparently this is pretty rare for a woman to take accountability for her life. Our relationship is stronger than ever, we're constantly making adjustments to improve things for each other.

[@mind-brainstudio927]

Emily, you are a breath of fresh air in so many ways! Thanks and keep doing your thing! This man is so glad to hear someone who gets what a weird and difficult position men are being placed in today. I'd love to have a good woman in my life, but the peace of being alone is better than getting beaten up all the time.

[@mikecorcoran6834]

It's refreshing to hear from such a wise woman. Of course, these things work in reverse, also. Much love to all trying to make it through these crazy times. ❤

[@cryha8789]

Finding a woman that needs you in their life and knows why they need/want you there but is also capable of living life without you in it is rare.

[@Leonhart_93]

You are missing the point. Simply hearing a woman saying that "she doesn't need me" instantly makes her less attractive. Men don't think the same way that women do, men WANT to be needed.

[@Katiefollowingjesus]

Facts.

[@Jessybear126]

If a woman says she doesn't need you then why is she pursuing you?????

[@billstarr9396]

Hi Emily, I agree with you on 6 of your points, but as for dating a single mom this is where I disagree. I dated a single mom with 2 older boys. 1 was 14 and the other was 10. The 14 year old was a good kid, but the 10 year old was out of control and he had his mom wrapped around his finger. Saying a single negative thing about that 10 year old literally started an all out battle between me and her. I ultimately broke it off with this lady because she totally refused to accept the fact that her 10 year old was heading down a very dark path.

[@martinsinnombre]

Agreed, I also heard that number 7 reason with scepticism. I am not afraid of getting attached to a kid, I simply do not want to be second. It's hard enough for the biological father to take 2nd place for a 6-24 months after the birth, imagine if it even isn't your child. Then there's the issue of lack of authority over the child. This can be solved by setting the rules early on, but it takes an exceptional soman to accept this. I've seen it, but she didn't break up with the biological father, she was a widow, and her income was more than decent.

[@paulj5336]

I've been going out with a single mum for 6 years. She has 2 girls, now early teens. It's never been easy. It's really difficult to connect to them (and I've tried hard) and they really get in the way of the relationship. My girlfriend is truely amazing but I get absolutely nothing back from the girls. So I guess no worry about being attached there. 😕

[@TheEnigmaticmuse]

Consider yourself lucky. They can break your heart without you and your gf breaking up.

[@brandymeidl7126]

Yes, I had a similar experience with a now exbf. His son is almost 18. Didn't matter what I did, how much I tried, wasn't good enough. He rejected me. The relationship was fine until his family began creating drama. Then the kid produced a bad attitude. Soured the whole works. The kid would not allow connection. Destroyed the relationship. 6 years. Good luck to you!

[@MrKahrum]

As the only child of a single mom: If you do build a relationship with the child. It IS ok to maintain it. It IS ok to still be a friend/ father figure/ adoptive uncle. (Obviously Mom can veto, but my mom never did. They all just left.)

[@MrKahrum]

The lack of a legal/blood "tie" to the kid just means you don't HAVE to.

[@parduct6590]

You were spot on with #2. Played captin save a ho once. That was enough. Get your self in order before you get into a relationship. That goes for both genders.

[@TechTimeWithEric]

As far as preferences go: Just because someone may "prefer" to date like say a redhead, doesn't mean they won't date a brunette; and nor will they feel like they had to settle.

[@JeffEdwards258]

I'm newly a newly single man after 14 years of marriage, raised 2 step children. I'm just tired of dealing with the garbage that some women bring to the table. It's become pretty clear that my ex was just using me and playing the long game. She got a house, 2 cars, and both kids college education paid for. Never again.

[@c-rad2419]

You nailed one of the reasons I don't date. I often get ridiculed because I have a type (like everyone else), but that doesn't mean that I won't date outside of it. I'm disabled and I've found dating ti be difficult. I find interesting. Is women have a tendency to be extremely picky About things that are beyond your control, but when a man has his own standards...things that he feels are important. He gets ridiculed for it. There is a definite double standard there. I don't have an issue dating single mothers but, they turn me down because "you can't take care of My kids" I often get told to date someone like myself

[@superblindeye1]

I hear you. I'm completely blind, and I found it to be very hard as well. Keep your head up.

[@Jordansklar0698]

I have mild cp/pvl also find dating difficult the moment i mention my disability even though its mild woman get like red flag or some crap and say bye

[@Jordansklar0698]

@@superblindeye1im so sorry that has to be terrible god bless you

[@c-rad2419]

@Jordansklar0698 I also have CP. I know exactly what you're saying.

[@Jordansklar0698]

@@c-rad2419 oh wow what a corinsidence :)

[@svr5423]

It is normal in negotiations. The other side needs to downplay your requirements so they don't loose the deal. But this is also a good indicator that they can't deliver.

[@Teutoburg09]

I agree with everything on the list, but I would add one more. Many men (maybe half or more) want to marry a housewife, but are ashamed to say so. They don't want women to think they are old fashioned or male chauvinists. And they believe most women want careers and will hate them for desiring a one-income lifestyle.

[@DarthSoto78]

#2 is why men often prefer younger women that don't have as much baggage yet. Some of it is looks, but most of it is the baggage women 30+ often have.

[@AdamG.GoNavy.FlyNavy]

Value your Man and he will Value you. Honor your Man and he will Honor you. Respect your Man and he will Respect you. A man is a mirror and will give back what he gets and then some…

[@aintnoisepollution99]

As a woman I cannot believe that men get shamed for any of these things. It’s ridiculous.

[@randallflagg5233]

Thank you yes it is ridiculous. Almost insane.

[@darlpapple6599]

Many of them think that a man has no problem walking away from HIS OWN CHILDREN! They have no idea or care about how this hurts a man. My ex was semi successful at turning my children against me. She was the one that cheated and initiated the divorce! Now I doubt that the youngest one is even mine.

[@irondwarf66]

Ive been a step dad. Now i have two kids of my own. Because of how single moms are i absolutely would never date a single mom again. There needs to be one law and one order in the house and single moms specialize in undermining that harmony.

[@ourlifeinwashington4114]

Sister i love you. Youre wise beyond your years. My grandpa gave me marriage advice and it was this and plz feel free to use it. Grandpa Cy said Bryan when it comes to being married you can either be right or you can be happy. Best advice ever

[@whitechicacooks5780]

Only be careful..... with the wrong woman, you'll forever be convincing yourself that you're happy, because she'll never let you be right! (I learned that in my 1st marriage with the male version of a modern female.) Wishing you the best!

[@mjolnir3309]

What's wrong with being insecure? Been married for over a decade, been insecure in many aspects the whole time because I'm a human being and not a psychopathic narcissistic. Everyone has insecurities and everyone has confidence too. Imo, I'm more of a man because i can share them without shame. Everyone has them, hiding them is insecure about having insecurities. That's self-confidence issues and self-awareness issues. We share them with each other and we support each other. Can't imagine a healthy relationship any other way.

[@Amgirl03]

I have been married almost 18 years. I have 5 living sons (my eldest son passed away at 18 four years ago and was a wonderful young man 😊) This is 💯 percent correct and we should all read Nora Vincents book.....Self made man. I have studied how boys having a healthy attachment to their mom matters and having solid male role models matter.. I found in my experience boys are probably even more sensitive than girls but our society wants to squash it out of them and tell them that is just how life is and shame their vulnerability...because apathy is growing as bad as cancer....I actually did meet my now husband when my eldest was three years old and both our hearts broke because of his death....so I do understand this...😊 Absolutely nothing wrong with their preferences are fair...It is hypocritical to me that women would want to shame men over this when they also have preferences... and most times they are not as reasonable...

[@getreal6124]

#7--actually, the issue is the kids may not like the guy; assuming the mom has 1 boy and 1 girl, the girl will be more likely to want the guy but the boy will think he's trying to replace "daddy." I actually dated 2 single moms like this, and in both cases she broke up with me because the boy didn't "like" me, although we as a couple got along well. #2-5--problem with that is basic psychology: it's unreasonable to expect another person to fix someone else, when all one can do is hope to fix oneself. Those labeling a guy for wanting to avoid these issues are the ones who need the therapy to see what they're asking is impossible. For that matter, read DeAngelis, John Grey or Jordan Peterson to see how being a 'rescuer" only invites disaster! #6--posting those kinds of pics spits on the guy the girl's dating by saying "I'm still available and I want to hook up too!!!" Nuff said.

[@brianmann4705]

On several of your videos you have kind of eluded to this one, but not in so much detail. I know this offends almost all women, but they never stop and consider it... after a number of conversations with my friends commonlaw wife, she asked me to write down what I considered the perfect woman, the type of woman I looked for, who attracted my heart. I wrote down an entire looseleaf piece of paper of what I look for in a woman, I won't go into all that, but only what caused her to react, and the explanation I gave her, and her response to it... she read the entire thing, then said, "well don't you think this is all kind of superficial? She said, you have written down here what she wears, nylons, clothes, heels, make-up, hair, perfume, jewelry, these are all superficial". Now I had written many other things, detailing her personality, the way she talks, the way she acts, etc. To begin with, when I see a woman, the first thing I check out on her, no its not her boobs, or her butt, or her face. I start from the bottom up, whether she's wearing a skirt/dress, or tight blue jeans or leggings, I look at her ankles to see if she's wearing nylons, yes nylons, from there I make a split second decision whether I am interested or not. If she's not wearing nylons, I'm not interested in going any further. If she is, then I will investigate further moving my glance upwards legs, butt, face, checking off the list in my mind as I go. My friends wife, thought that was totally wrong, superficial, and pointless... I said, you told me to write down what I considered the perfect woman, what I looked for what attracted me to a woman. She basically said, yes but, nylons, clothing etc doesn't really matter its superficial, you need to drop your standards. I told her that's not gonna happen, and I said to her now think about it this way...if I drop my standards and just hook up with a girl, who doesn't meet those requirements, and we went say to a mall, and I saw a woman wearing nylons under her tight jeans or a mini skirt or whatever, long hair down up, make-up the way I like, smelling good with perfume, wearing jewelry, my attention my sight is gonna be on her, is that fair to tje woman I'm with?? She said, oh I never thought about it that way!! I have, that's just the way I am. I have studied woman and men, my mom and dad, I'm a people watcher, you learn alot watching people... What I learned through school and out in the world, is what attracts my attention, what appeals to me, and what I've learned that appearance proclaims loud and clear to me... she a lady, she is confident with her body and her appearance, she takes time to make sure she looks priceless, first for herself. She also portrays what is in her heart, its like looking into a persons eyes to see their heart, appearance, clothing etc speaks volumes about a womans heart, how she sees and values herself, and thats she's comfortable and confident in herself and the way she looks. It also speaks volumes about what kind of house she keeps, cleanliness, appearance, etc and whether she's a couch potato when she gets home!! It used to irratate me to no end when my mom would put on a skirt, nylons, make-up, hair done, jewelry, perfume etc, to go out with my dad to a dance with friends, and the instant she got home, would take it all off and put on sloppy clothes to "lounge around the house", or the other excuse, "to do housework or gardening"!! No, you portray a clear and precise message, he's not worth the effort, but people outside away from home are, and that your lazy and slobby, and this is the heart condition expressed outwardly!! Just like you've said many times in many videos, if you don't do it in the real world it's not you being real, well if you don't do it at home and you do it away from home, it's not you being real!! You see this in the ch_rch every sunday, woman dress up wearing nylons heels skirts etc, but the rest of the week they never dress that way, they're not real, they're fakes, putting on a show for everyone, hey look at me, guess what I am looking at you, and I'm disgusted!! I don't care if I had a woman and she wore a mini skirt nylons heels or tight torn skinny jeans etc, that doesn't make her a slut, anymore than a woman wearing bagging what ever makes her a virgin!! I don't care if she wears provocative clothes, and other guys check out her fantastic legs in nylons etc, because I know first she does it for herself, then for me to please me, and well everyone else gets a glimpse of what ALL men love, and yes ALL men love a woman in nylons, me personally I love beige pantyhose and or stockings with every outfit, some guys black nylons, some white etc, but every guy loves and is attracted to a woman in nylons!! My last point, I could as my friends wife said, get her to wear nylons etc. No, I want a woman who is that woman because that's in her heart already, that's who she is, it's the real truthful her.

[@bobt7056]

My wife stands up for me. Means a lot.

[@Tumid1]

Your view of why men shy away from single mothers is probably based on your own experience but not the biggest reason men disqualify single moms. The main reason is men understand that they will ALWAYS be less important to a woman than her children. It's hard enough even when you're the father.

[@RobGordon35]

The child thing happened to one of my friends. Its brutal and women/effinism dont care. BTW, I love your videos and the honesty you bring to these subjects. You are clearly very self aware and I wish you and your other half a great and secure life together. Kudos.

[@williamwenrich3288]

Beliefs and values are of primary importance. If you don’t share in these area, you are probably doomed.

[@MrDalebenberger]

Emily you are very much a good example of what an older gentleman would desire in a younger woman. You have a lot of wisdom. This coming from a 64 year old life veteran. Thanks for explaining to people what should be common sense.

[@MrDalebenberger]

I believe I found you on Telegram and DM ed you

[@sugarnads]

I prefer Asian girls. Always have. Doesnt mean Im gonna refuse to date a nice blonde if I met one who was equally interested. And yes women take EVERYTHING as a personal attack when men are discussing generalities.

[@Zomfoo]

Body count tells me about your values and character and if they align with my own.

[@Brad-Harris]

The reason given for why a man doesn't want to date a single mom was a surprise to me. I'd never thought of that before but it makes sense though. I couldn't imagine that being the most common reason though. I would guess it's the fear the new man would have to raise the former man's kid but not have a true authority over the child to ensure they behave satisfactorily which is extra important for kids who parents break up. you then become the servant of the single mom and she uses you to fill in for the former man either because he's not around or the mom can keep the kid from him by leveraging the new servant.

[@JT-nm6kv]

Emily you are the best. A natural woman is the best, regardless of her specific physical characteristics ... NO modifications !!! Purity. 77 yo guy here...

[@JT-nm6kv]

PS, my wife of 47 years does not even have pierced ears!! and we are mainstream second marriage blended family, lovers and cherished companions...

[@robertahl4111]

Love your work ma'am. Please understand that raising another man's children is the most thankless, shitty job I know of. It is also the highest form of baggage any man can walk into. My heart goes out to single mothers but they have to view things differently or risk never dating again.

[@arahantiusdetache5103]

I love the bodycount one. I'm over 50 and my bodycount is 3 including my wife. I would definitely ask bodycount if I ever had the misfortune of entering the dating game again but do women with a bodycount of 3 or less even exist anymore? So glad I'm out of that mess.

[@danielanderson8502]

I so love your content. As a 49 year old divorced guy with no kids, a job, over 6’ not fat at all and no criminal record I’m the unicorn but I’m still having a hard time to find a woman with ANYTHING decent. I don’t mind chubby gals or single moms but still I am having loads of problems

[@derpyeh9107]

Similar boat here. 38, 6', 6 figure income, and muscular enough that my modest love handles don't seem to be a problem. Unlike you, I will not date moms, and I'm just not attracted to women who aren't skinny (I've tried it; I can't get/keep it up for them). I go on one or two dates every few weeks, and that's enough to make me want to give up. Their attitudes are just awful.

[@ronweenk]

I hear ya , I'm in the same boat.

[@EE12CSVT]

51, never married, no kids, no crazy exes I have to deal with, car, large house with no mortgage, well respected by my academic peers, I mix well with senior people in society, 5ft 8in, I've got a muscular, slim physique from working out, no criminal record, full head of hair, but what's out there is garbage. Attitude galore, and they all think they're a 10. I gave up socialising in a large group in a nearby town because the women were like witches in a coven and the men were simps. My few female friends can't understand why I don't do anything with women. One or two now understand from me just how awful modern women are. One friend is trying it on with me and probably would want to cheat with me. Another has a big crush. Younger women hit on me in bars. Women give me their number without me asking. The only women I've met with anything going for them are career women but who aren't boss babes. Trouble is they don't make the time for relationships and hardly any live near me. There was one I got on really well with but who lived in San Francisco. I'm in the UK.

[@partymanau]

Look overseas.

[@Lee-rg8qq]

#4 has 2 reasons 1) You're people, and people make mistakes. We want to know you've learned AND grown from experiencing a few failed relationships. If you didn't learn and grow, that tells us you probably lack accountability. 2) If you're just 'hooking up' We want to know you have a well developed level of personal respect. If I can sleep with you for the price of a decent meal out, or just DM you and you're good to tango Then there's a name for a woman I can pay to have sex with. And the latter tells us you have zero self respect Neither are suitable for thinking about in terms of long term commitment.

[@Lmiller201]

Dated a single mom for ten years. Helped raise her kids, and they both hated me simply because i wasnt heir dad. It put a huge strain on the relationship, as the boy grew older, he would go out of his way to act out. Lying, stealing and just overall being mean and hateful to people. We finally sent him to his dad at 12 This was one of the many problems with the relationship, but it is one of the reasons why men dont want to date a single mom. Its not just a relationship with her, its a relationship with the kids too. You and her can have a great relationship but if the kids hate you, it will be a forever doomed relationship.

[@johnruble8343]

Baggage, my wife had baggage from a bad relationship with a Muslim guy who treated her like property and both physically and emotionally abused her. It gave me the chance to show her that a real man would put her needs above himself. This led to her being great at reciprocating.

[@shortthrow434]

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: [04:34] Men asking about a woman's sexual history get labeled insecure. [05:44] Men don't want women being friends with exes - seen as jealousy. [06:39] Men disliking provocative photos called insecure, want her attention. [07:52] Men fear attachment to a single mom's kids then losing them if breakup. [08:08] Some men open to single moms, especially if they are single dads. Made with HARPA AI

[@akulkis]

HARPA AI sucks. Completely missed 3 points, and counted the last one twice.

[@mikerussell3830]

The body count isn't about matching experience levels. If a woman has a really high body count then she probably isn't long-term relationship material.

[@derpyeh9107]

I won't even explain it any more than "I don't like it."

[@mikerussell3830]

​@derpyeh9107 You don't need to explain...she doesn't even have to answer...if she gets mad you got your answer. It makes me laugh too because it shows that even they know it's gross or they'd just answer.

[@FreeAmerican-mm2my]

Take the number given and multiply by 3 for all the "doesn't counts" just one time, I was really depressed, I was taken advantage of, it was vacation, I felt sorry for him ,,, @@mikerussell3830

[@MariaMedina-lj4kt]

It goes both ways, I hope you know.

[@mikerussell3830]

@MariaMedina-lj4kt Uh, did I say it didn't?

[@ghost9499]

2:30 to 2:50 hit my soul for a minute. I was intimate with a broken girl once. Ended it when she attempted self-deletion, despite all my attempts to help her. Ten years later, I haven't had a second date. Got a couple years until I'm 30. Probably just should've waited until then.

[@ryantarpy1408]

I’m 32, and haven’t dated in 6 years for this same reason. I get it man. I have been getting my confidence back up again though and I’m probably gonna try getting back in the dating pool soon. We will see how it goes. Point is it won’t last forever. There may come a day you wanna try again. I didn’t think I ever would but of late something has been calling me to give it a go, and I think it helps I’m in a better place in my career, have started taking better care of my health, and really started hitting the gym again. Regardless it just kinda hit me one day that I felt I had finally moved past it all. I’ll cross my fingers you get there too man.

[@anthonyjordanmoviesandmore2470]

I've made that mistake before all I got for my trouble was my own baggage

[@ghost9499]

@@ryantarpy1408 thank you. I guess I needed to hear that.

[@ryantarpy1408]

@@ghost9499 your welcome man. Best of luck to ya!

[@namesettoprivate1181]

Subscribed for number 7. You're the first one I've heard recognize us getting attached to kids like they're our own. I've been there. A couple times.

[@brianburris]

I wish there's more women like you and another KZbinr named Courtney . Y'all would give a man the peace we are looking for . It's all Iv asked for that's it Seems like everybody would want peace in a relationship on both sides.

[@Anime_Jesus]

I can feel 7. That is definitely a fear for me. I would be crushed if I started dating a woman, and at some point it goes from being their child to also being my child, and then we break up and that's no longer my child. I am more up for taking the risk though myself because I do really want to be a dad, and although I would love to have one that I fathered, I have no problem with helping raise another.

[@clemsonvoorheis3923]

Women shame men about how much money they should make. If you don't make enough, they will have nothing to do with you. No matter your values or how much love we can give.