How to NOT BE AWKWARD in Conversations!

[@emwilss]

The most important thing I always try to remember in every conversation is that the person I am talking to is deeply loved by the Jesus I try to love and follow, and made in His image and likeness. They are important to Him so they are important to me. 💛

[@Amazing_Mark]

That's a beautiful attitude to have. A credit to you. 👌 You've certainly revolutionised my view of Catholics!

[@BeneathHerMantle]

So sweet! Thanks for the advice!

[@quinoa9546]

wow 💛💛💛 that's beautiful!!

[@bonniefetsko2445]

A very wise woman once taught me that when I am speaking with someone imagine the letters MMFI on their forehead. Make Me Feel Important. It has served me well through the years and I've discovered that it is very rewarding. Your "thoughtful" questions fall right into this as it shows interest in the person you are conversing with

[@nelle6363]

I once asked a couple dudes who went to India how it was the same as their expectations and how it was different from their expectations, and I got the BEST answers. One of the most enjoyable conversations I’ve ever had.

[@Dee-ur9zq]

I'm from India and I'd love know those answers 😄. I know India can give one of the worst culture shocks to most foreigners!!

[@megship]

SO much great advice in this video! I love taking small talk and making it more meaningful. I usually try to follow the acronym LAVA (lava flows, hopefully so does your conversation) when I do small talk - Location, Association, Vocation, Avocation.Those are like my 4 main “tree trunks”. Location - hometown. Association- friends and family. Vocation - job/career. Avocation - hobbies/passions/interests.

[@mariykamanil.3011]

My favorite acronym is asking where they’re FROM. Family Recreational activities(hobbies) Occupation Memories

[@taylorjackson9040]

Thank you for this! I always find myself not giving elaborate answers in conversation for fear of coming off as self-centered. I usually give short answers and redirect the question to the other person... this usually leads to dead-end conversations. This is a great reminder that conversation and developing deeper relationships is two-way and I have to give my part as well.

[@DrRindeGbenro]

This video deserve more view. You're a blessing

[@emwilss]

Thank you!

[@amandakate1247]

Do you have a video on gossip and how to handle being the recipient of negative talk?

[@naomiklassen475]

Yes please

[@emwilss]

No but I have a whole chapter in my book called Go Bravely on this called "Ignore the Haters!" :)

[@phillewis3180]

@Amanda Kate Tell them you are all children of God and they are not better or more worldly than you because they think they have a better understanding of Christianity.

[@veronicaschindler4059]

Traveling around Ireland for a year, I stayed with a lot of older couples. My favorite question to ask them was “how did you meet”. It’s crazy to hear the different stories that are out there!

[@GinnyandEric]

This is GREAT for anyone and definitely for us serving in ministry!! Youth ministry means talking to teens who may not always want to respond. Open-ended questions bring more convo and open up dialogue! Your tips would work for any age. Awesome 💯

[@emwilss]

That is very true! Thanks for your comment Ginny and Eric!

[@jocelynes7436]

This is so perfect because I’m meeting so many new people as a new nurse at a hospital!!!

[@emwilss]

What wonderful work! Way to go!

[@Kdoy-gq7gm]

Thank you Emily! I appreciate this so much! I do have social anxiety and I worry about not having anything to talk about. Especially with non-Catholics because I worry there isn’t much in common. I’m inviting a woman over to chat and hangout because we both have kids and we’re both new to the neighbourhood.. so I benefited from this video a lot! I can be anti-social so I’m definitely stepping out of my comfort zone.

[@emwilss]

I am so glad to hear this! And very proud of you for inviting her over - that is not easy for me either, so good job!

[@natashamudford4011]

Why non-Catholics? (Is this a Catholic channel?) ...I have a hard time talking to Catholics. I keep hearing "my faith is very personal" and that comment seems to nip-in-the-bud any conversation about religion. Which is quite aggravating, because IMHO the most important thing to talk about is one's eternal standing. When I was Catholic, I was unable to talk about God, but once I got away from the RCC and became interested in studying the bible, I have become quite delighted to talk to people about God, even to pray with total strangers without any notice.

[@emwilss]

@Natasha, this isn't a Catholic channel but I am a practicing Catholic :) I know the kind of Catholics you are talking about, and I am not one of them, nor are my friends. I'd love to chat about faith with you someday! If people want to see Catholics who talk about their faith, Blessed Is She is my favorite place to see that. Lots of women talking openly about their faith.

[@natashamudford4011]

@@emwilss Thanks, I will have to look into that. Btw, I'm glad you are speaking about abstaining from sex until marriage, and I hope many young people are getting that message. Did you know that Ben Shapiro also abstained before marriage? He mentions this occasionally in his speeches lectures/ commentary. It's nice to hear people speak freely about this option, especially since sexuality is such an "in your face" topic these days.

[@Kdoy-gq7gm]

Natasha Mudford I guess I phrased that wrong... I have many non-catholic and even non-religious friends. One of my best friends is Protestant and we have GREAT conversation. I guess what I mean is people who are non-religious or atheist.. usually have very different values and morals and it’s a littler harder to engage or have friendship with because things like drinking or sex are casual topics of conversation.

[@elinaoberemok1732]

The idea about asking for advice in an area of life that the person is going through - is a great one! People LOVE sharing the tips, wisdom, and experience they have collected throughout life ❤️

[@ruth5227]

I also have found that these questions blossom into GREAT convos: 1. How did your parents meet? 2. How did you get your name? Love the video, Emily! 💞

[@emwilss]

Great questions!

[@juliar3535]

I’m a hairdresser currently in a bit of a small talk burnout 😂 so this is very encouraging - love the tree analogy x

[@icyangel13]

I teach English as a second language, especially in one-to-one lessons, so conversation with strangers is a huge part of my life! I see the topics of small talk (job, school, family life, travel plans for the future etc) as the "external trails" of someone's being. You can always follow any one of those trails into the very heart of the person you're talking to. You can learn a lot about so many things from these random interactions! Everyone is a treasure waiting to be discovered!

[@TheNinjaInConverse]

I always try to remember the phrase that _boring people find conversation boring;_ so often I will find conversation "boring" because I'm not attending to it fully. When I find myself not enjoying a conversation, I tend to see it as me having a lack of knowledge on a topic, or enough of a grasp to follow what is happening. People who have a basic interest in everything rarely find something uninteresting:D The key for me is to be interested in everything, and know a bit about alot of things.

[@LittleDorritt4Ever]

I live in Des Moines so your shout out made me smile :)

[@emwilss]

I am glad!!!! Hi in Des Moines!

[@giselleevans4476]

I love the tree analogy! I think it's really going to help me think of questions more easily! I think this video was really helpful because not many people talk about this issue.

[@emwilss]

I am glad you found it helpful! Thanks for letting me know!

[@LittleWaffle]

Emily is here to save the day 💕🙏

[@nikkid8834]

Always

[@claralong8926]

I love asking “ where was the first place you drove to when you got your license “ and let me tell you , this gave me many branches to go off of💗I also love to ask “ what was your first job” and “ what was your first car”

[@Estiexo]

i love asking couples how they met! Great conversation starter

[@alyssam5576]

Thank you so much for this video! I am one who definitely struggles with social anxiety and social awkwardness so this video was super helpful! I find that in conversations I can often come across as boring which is something I don’t want to be at all, so thanks for all the tips! I will definitely have to try them!

[@veronica.theswamphag]

I'm way to private to be open with people I just met, it's hard because I dont know if they can be trusted in a weird way, so i prefer talking about other things, not about myself for example I was at a party and someone got me talking about the ocean and Marine life and we talked for so long about that, so you get to know them without getting to know their life, idk that's how I like to start it off! So the "what are you passionate about" question is my favourite

[@sarahgillian386]

Would LOVE a video about assumptions people have about Catholics!

[@AnnelieseRosenbaumyadayada]

This is sooooo helpful!! I used to be terrible at talking to people, but, while I'm still super shy, I've gotten a lot better over the years. This video gave me even more tips, and is super helpful!!

[@nikki7263]

Omg I’ve worked in customer service for five years and small talk sucks 😂 I’ve just found that people love to talk about themselves( I mean that in the kindest way possible lol) so just directing the conservation back to the person you’re speaking to helps a lot. Great video! ❤️

[@emwilss]

Yep yep yep - I so agree!

[@megandelli1]

Thanks for sharing! This is something I’m terrible at, especially after having kids. I have said some shocking things 😂 I need to do better!

[@jakubpodesva5033]

Thank you for the video. Asking how are you feeling instead of just how are you worked for me on a few occasions. Then definitely cultural recommendations (music, movies, books).

[@peterernst1455]

Yes I really need this Emily! It's so important especially if you work with the public every day like me. If s.o. has to wait in line for smthg, or you have to "occupy" people's minds while waiting you can ask pertinent questions and "warm up" people to bend your way. Helps you with customer service jobs. You are warming people up to you before you begin with an issue! So listening and asking the right questions can really help you in dealing with others, even difficult personalities.

[@AJCoop93]

THANK YOU!!!! I really like the idea of having a "bank" of favorite questions to ask on hand.

[@emwilss]

That's a good way to describe it!

[@hannahstixrud1494]

Extremely helpful!!! I’m an extrovert & love to talk to people and have been decent at it but if ever I’m away from it for a time, I stink at it when I go back to it! This was great, I love it! Thanks 😊

[@amandakalauta1244]

This is fantastic! I struggle internally when it comes to interacting with others. Something from my recent MBPT results helped me understand my struggle which is that I love human connection more than I do social connections (INFP -T). I want to be sociable because it's important for building relationships, community, work relations, even prayer time with Jesus and simply connecting with others so these questions are truly helpful.

[@rachelrichardson257]

This is soooo helpful! I’m 18 and going on my first real date soon so this came at just the right time!

[@emwilss]

I am so so glad!

[@hetty0617]

Alright guys, let us build a great forest of conversation-trees! Thank you for this video Emily!!! 💕

[@elizabethancheril2924]

You’re the best!! Thank you for this video, Emily!!

[@kateribuerkle1246]

Thank you so much for this video Emily!! I find myself in so many different situations (especially during youth group) when I want to engage my peers but I’m an introvert so I freeze up and don’t know what to say. This has been SO HELPFUL. Thanks again for sharing your tips!

[@janahorakova6766]

I would say my problem would sometimes be even on the other side of the spectrum: being stuck in a conversation that you would rather quit. The problem for me is that they talk too much and too negatively. What a challenge. Any advice?!

[@margiehalpern4573]

Absolutely excellent video! I was a very shy kid and am still, as a adult, an introvert. So small talk with strangers did not come naturally! A couple of things to remember--like anything else, with practice it gets easier and starts feeling less awkward. And as different than you as someone might seem (different religion, national origin, educational background, job history, etc.), there is always a conversational area where you can meet. My husband and I had a fabulous conversation with a young taxi driver in Canada who had immigrated there from Vietnam. How and when did he come to Canada? What have his experiences there been like? Etc.

[@emwilss]

A great example! Thanks for watching Margie!

[@RebeccaZe1]

Thank you for the great advice!

[@ashleycherucheril4006]

This is such a good video idea! I used to hate small talk because I used to be very shy! Can you make a video about being friends with guys as a single girl in college/early twenties? I think that would be another relatable video because I am in college and I want to have guy friends, but I dont want them thinking that I'm interested in dating them.

[@rosescoffee4937]

Loved this video! If you are open to suggestions about future videos I would be so grateful for a video about how to open up about a difficult childhood and difficult parent relationships to people who have had awesome holy parents who might not get it. Opening up about my childhood to my friends has always been a negative experience. I wish I knew better how to handle hard conversations. Thanks for all you do! 💗

[@tersah9882]

If I am having a conversation with a Catholic I don’t really know, I like to ask which saint they chose for confirmation and how they chose that saint. It’s a cool way to learn about different saints.

[@Hannah-rh7mm]

Loved loved loved this video!!! One of my favorite questions to ask people especially if I want to move the conversation into something deeper is “What are some hard things that you have experienced in life?”. Knowing trials people have gone through really helps to understand them more as a person. But this question isn’t for everyone as everyone isn’t always willing to share so just gauge their interest and if they are okay with it then question them further about it. :)

[@emwilss]

That is a very good one! And yes, definitely a good one when you've been talking for a little while. I will put that in my pocket - thanks for the suggestion!

[@emilyshatek7832]

hi from Iowa! thanks for the shout-out! :)

[@emwilss]

:)

[@laur5486]

Thank you for this! This is something I definitely struggle with and I will have to try and work on this!

[@emwilss]

You are welcome for this! Thanks for watching!

[@Misshowzat]

Thank you so so much for posting this video. It's a really difficult area for me. I appreciate all your videos these days. I'm not really an Instagram person. I associate the site/app with being pretty toxic & consuming so while I'm sad to lose you to another platform I'm happy to wait until you feel ready/moved to come back here & post than to try & establish *another* presence over there to participate.

[@chloemathias9864]

Thank you so much for this video! Some really good pieces of advice and tips here :)

[@emwilss]

Glad you think so! Thanks Chloe!

[@quesavolontesoitfete]

🙌🏼🙌🏼 Yaayyy !! Thank you Emily !

[@emwilss]

You are welcome my sister in Christ!

[@Shootinforthestars1]

Tried it out and worked well! Learned a few things about the people I was with .

[@emilyhud6838]

My favorite question is what do you wish someone told you when you started... (college for example) You can get some awesome advice this way.

[@huntervolcan9218]

Great advice Em. Thanks

[@Bluebubblez7094]

Literally active listening! We need to use this more!

[@thegirlevery1knows]

LOVED THIS👏🏻👏🏻 thank you Emily!💛

[@Jyp8000]

What do you like to do in your free time? Or tell me one thing in your bucket list you wanna do rn (it always shows where people standing at that moment in their life either positively or negatively).. l’ll ask them if they’re a morning person and if yes I’ll follow with how to you get yourself set in the mood to start your day or what’s your routine like. What’s your favorite restaurant/ or food your mom makes.

[@maisieehling1975]

I don't like small talk because I get nervous when people ask about things in my life (I don't know why I'm just weird). It makes me feel very self conscious like I'm being judged and my answers aren't good enough for whoever I'm talking to although I'm sure they don't mean it to be that way. So when I do partake in small talk I try to avoid asking questions that I wouldn't want to be asked in case they're insecure about that topic too and also, so they don't say "What about you?" After having answered my question. That leaves me with very little conversation topics to work with so there's usually a lot of dead air because I'm trying to think of questions to ask them that aren't too personal but will keep the conversation going and keep them talking about themselves until we run out of time. Small talk is exhausting and awkward for me lol. Any tips?

[@thehannahlois]

This is such an important topic! Thank you!

[@karlagarcia4250]

Greeting from Des Moines, IA Emily! .. thank you sharing these great advices! your videos always come in handy! .. a question that always try to ask is, what is your ideal place/country to live in? and if is a social within church community, what is your favorite saint(s) and why?

[@emwilss]

Good questions for sure! Thanks for contributing!

[@sallyzweber7949]

Thanks Emily!! Can you please make a video about over sharing and how to avoid doing so?

[@tiffanytavassoli6646]

I loved this video! This was super helpful. You’re an expert on this, Emily! Thanks so much ❤️🙏🏼

[@emwilss]

Thanks for letting me know!!!

[@jennamoore2737]

Love this!

[@gracieklucinec3841]

I loved this video! Thanks Emily!!

[@emwilss]

Thanks for letting me know!

[@ruthdobinda2832]

This video was great, a big help for me. God bless all of you 💟!

[@therese5361]

Thank you, this was great! 🌹

[@NowBloom]

So good ! 👍

[@Hannarichter1113]

Love this! Thank you Emily. Also - off topic - but I'd love to see a video by you on the topic of authority / obedience, especially within our faith. I'm a missionary to college students and have noticed this generation is very skeptical and anti- anything authority/structured.

[@maryk7362]

This was soooo good!

[@emilycashman]

Emily, I am embarrassed to admit this. But of course I am a sinner and I am not perfect by any means. My sister recently told me that I talk about myself way too much. And that I don’t ask other people questions about their own lives. This is something I feel now very ashamed of and I really want to work on it. What advice do you have for someone who struggles with this problem, or generally being too self-absorbed?

[@karinkunftova5129]

Thank you so much for this video, it helped a lot! 😊

[@dianapetrienko2821]

Thank you!!!!!!!

[@jenniferreisler3272]

I like asking people from church how they're doing and then why they're feeling that way :)

[@flaviafarcascadar9296]

Greaaaat informations! 🎀🎶💗🌷

[@amandalechnowsky8299]

Do you have any suggestions for church greeting time? I feel like there isn't enough time to have a conversation beyond "How was you week? "

[@therese5361]

Amanda Lechnowsky , good one! 🌹

[@Julia-qk5bw]

I love you so much 😘😘 please share advice on how to deal with friends that always take advantage of you. Thank you so much. I really enjoy watching your vids 💕😍

[@claralong8926]

Thank you for making this video because I am the worst at small talk

[@elizabethg363]

I’m new to the city I currently live in so I like to ask for recommendations of things to do. It lets me get to know what a person is interested in AND I get to learn about things I may never have known about my new city!

[@Victoria-bo9xk]

Definitely need this one hahaha

[@emwilss]

:) Thanks for watching!

[@emilygrace5237]

I'm so happy you ended up making this vid!

[@emwilss]

I'm so glad! Thanks for letting me know!

[@TheJanaRina]

Hey Emily I have just watched a couple episodes of Love Is Blind and I wonder if you have any thoughts on it. I am not a huge fan of them commercializing marriage and treating it as entertainment but I do like that the show aims to connect people beyond looks. And I find it interesting to see how people connect through talking only.

[@amandawalker3698]

Thank you so much Emily for this video 😊❤️

[@Outcaaast]

thank you so much , you've gained a subscriber

[@emwilss]

Welcome!

[@amywalsh4006]

I literally just told someone I'm not good with everday small talk. Personally it was just becoming boring. Every day this guy was asking the same questions "have a lovely day" "how was your day? " "how's your evening going" and "what are your plans for the week?" I get he's just being nice but it's just too repetitive. So I do what you say and try to get away from small talk and ask other questions.. Sometimes it returns to small talk

[@jonathanyonker6125]

Can you use humor in small talk situation?

[@emwilss]

Yes!

[@erix4erix]

Thanks

[@gabrielasipek8444]

♥️

[@trish8321]

Yayyy!!!!!

[@chriszablocki2460]

Conversations are just awkward. Nobody says what they really mean. Because truth comes off as blunt and vulgar. And formalities are just delightful lies. Maybe just deal with the awkwardness. Like coping skills.

[@pkbhadana7847]

2nd,,,,,,,,,,hii ma'am where are you from

[@Alavibocilsindonesia]

What do you say? My English not good :D

[@followumesh]

First