I'm Not OK

BLOG: ejstyle.co.uk
INSTAGRAM: / emmahill
TWITTER: / ems_ejstyle

[@maryanderson9069]

Emma, first of all...you do not have to say you are sorry because you are not feeling ok. Its not youre fault. BUT I have been watching youre vlogs and understand the stress . I love you and Simon,and the doggies,and youre mom. But please take care of youre self. I have been a people pleaser for years and it almost killed me. When youre body and mind are screaming at you "Im not ok" please dont promise more videoes,vlogs...please,please take youre warning signals seriously. You need a looong and healthy break / hollyday without any cameras or blogposts. We're still here when you come back. sending you love and hugs from Norway.

[@aiclarissa6899]

Emma, sending you love from China. As you may know, KZbin is blocked here. I got VPN to watch your videos cause you are so much fun and you helped me a lot with my own ups and downs. Take your time and we got your back❤️❤️❤️

[@tenwaystowearit]

Happy birthday Emma!!! Thank you for sharing this and I believe it WILL help others. Social media involves so much facades and saving face, so it takes a lot of bravery to share your flaws and struggles. Kudos to you for being brave enough to share this. God bless you. 😘

[@Grahamcracker6366]

You seem like a lovely person. It’s not fair that you have to deal with this. You bring a smile to my face when you joke around with Simon. I’m glad he’s your rock. Take care of yourself. You aren’t alone.

[@ebebeato7870]

OmG! You’re not alone! I struggle with depression every day! And I’m sure many of us here do too! (You would be surprised how many) I don’t know you personally but you seem to be lovely, a very kind and caring person so the universe will reward you for it! Keep the faith you will get better! I understand you, many of us get it, don’t worry. I thank you for your honesty, and thank you for sharing. I wish you all the best! Sending you blessings, love and light, from the USA! ❤️🙏🏼

[@sandralafee1403]

Esther Beato I agree and I'm sending you love from Germany ♥

[@carmengrauwels]

Esther Beato DeGama not only keep the fait you have to work on it

[@claudiagallion785]

Esther Beato DeGama so well said nothing more to be added. Take as much time as you need dear @emmahill, your true followers will stand by you awesome chick 😘🙏🏻

[@claudiaguzman322]

You’re so strong for this... you’re an amazing beautiful person and I hope you feel better soon. Please don’t forget how wonderful you are and how much your videos make people feel better and influence them to be a better person

[@jamiecrooch5561]

Emma I’m a 70 year old grandma and i enjoy your videos. I’ve had bouts of depression too. So glad you are getting counseling. It helps. Just hang in there and do the work and the sun will come out again. God bless dear.

[@Manifesting_Secret_Sketchbook]

Hi Jamie you must be 74? Congratulations and Happy BIRTHDAY BIRTHDAY

[@marthak0701]

I find it liberating knowing that someone else is going through sth like this as well. Mental health is a factor not always taken into account in everyday life. We push and push to get through the week or the month. But we should be able to talk about these issues. Thank you for bringing it up and somehow supporting other people going through the same.

[@bbmusictv5781]

Emma, this is powerful. As someone who has experienced similar challenges myself, I want to thank you for your honesty and bravery. It’s so important to use your platform in this way. All will be well X

[@lisa_and_christian]

Emma, we support you, respect you, (and yes, love you). It's awesome you opened up because it's sooooo hard to talk about the stuff in our heads. Society (and esp SoMe) bring a lot of distorted veils that everything's alright. But we're human and sometimes everything just ain't alright. :) When we say it aloud it helps us and helps others to know we all go through the same shit. Share what you want with us, but don't feel obligated to share if you don't. Sending lots of love and positive thoughts....

[@kimvermeer5958]

Hi Emma, I admire your honesty. I believe we need more honesty on social media. Mental health is so important and I recently found out that it is hard work to remain mentally healthy with everything thrown at you these days. Focus on the positive, talk to people you trust and plan enough time for yourself to do whatever you feel like. Take care and hope you feel better soon. X Kim

[@fabriciamoraes]

Kim Vermeer well said! You wrote Emma exactly what I wanted (and lacked the words).

[@virginiekoeck8646]

Two weeks ago I deleted Instagram and Facebook on my phone because I found out that it made me feel bad. Not your account and other few people, but most of the time it looks so perfect. I know you always say that social media isn't real life and I know it, but it's so hard when you always see perfection when you feel crap. I'm not ok either and I should do the same as you and talk to someone.. Take time and take care, and I'm wishing you a happy birthday!! 😘

[@louisekatherine22]

Emma, i haven’t been following you for long but I am loving watching your videos. As someone that has also struggled with mental health throughout my teens it’s so refreshing to see people like you openly talking about mental health on social media. Thinking of you at this hard time, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel! Regards xxx

[@alib5345]

I follow only 7 vlogers including you. All but 2 have been through the same thing, all you powerful woman put so much stress on yourself that things start to pile up issues ( I have been there too) , eventually getting the better of you. Everyone needs to remember to take care of themselves first and foremost. A professional to talk is a good place start , it will be hard sorting out everything but it will eventually pay off. I will continue to keep watching you and hug those fur babies they will make you smile when you need it the most🐕

[@ChristieRessel]

What an amazing, raw video, babe. I think it's so wonderful that you've shared this! I know I've gone through ups and downs with creating content and the mental twists it creates. It's been so necessary to step back and shut off sometimes. It's so important to honour how you feel. Thought I'd share this quote that I love, "When you're in a dark place, you sometimes tend to things you've been buried. Perhaps you've been planted. Bloom." Sending you a massive hug and and a lot of love to you. xoxo

[@letitiakingsley775]

I was touched by your video. You are a wonderful lady.

[@keely_cn8924]

Psychiatrists can dispense medication, therapists don't. That's the difference. Therapy was the best thing I ever did for myself. Everyone should go at some point. We should go to mental checkups as much as we go to physical ones. It's just nice. Take care of yourself. Glad you're taking some time and doing what you need to do. Love to all of you from MN! Happy Birthday!

[@samanthaleslie9228]

I too struggle with mental health issues. I had almost a year, last July to this past April, where I didn’t see any improvements. I was scared to make any commitments to friends, family, etc. and had a hard time even going to work. I really do feel for you & I am so sorry that you’re going through all of this. But I must say that you are so brave and amazing for sharing this with all of us. It’s hard to feel a sense of weakness, but trust me, it’s not a weakness. I personally felt that getting through each day was an accomplishment in itself & made me stronger. You’re very loved, & having family and loved ones to help support you is so amazing! You ultimately have to focus on you, no matter what. Your health, comfort & happiness are so important! We all love you!

[@LisasCoin]

We are here for you and a lot of us UNDERSTAND! I'm glad that you know what to do and have plenty of support in your life. Be strong and always pray to GOD. Sometime we just need to speak with someone, who is patient and have pure LOVE. We are proud of you!! 😙⚘

[@julianacarrera4526]

I’m seeing more and more bloggers suffering from this, and I’m happy to see so many of you speaking out about it and making videos telling us your story. I think it encourages the conversation, your only human and it’s nice you have a platform to spread awareness, it’s brave to put anything on social media so thank you for being brave 😘

[@skylilly1]

Hang in there darlin' sending you a big virtual hug from across the pond. Take all the time you need!

[@littlebitnj78]

None of this is any of our business, so thank you so much for sharing what you have. Everyone has something going on, things that they’re working on...all part of being a human in this crazy crazy world! I worked in mental health for years and the importance of caring I for that part of ourselves is very underrated. Glad you’ve found a therapist you feel comfortable working through this with and I’m happy you have a great support system. Self discovery is never the easiest process, but boy can it be eye-opening and help you feel so much stronger! Happy Birthday dear girl and keep up the great work! We’ll be here to watch whenever you guys come back 😘

[@melledelvani]

When I saw your thumbnail, my eyes began to tear up. All this past week I've thought about you. I'm glad you had the courage to open up about what's going on. I posted a video a couple years ago about anxiety and depression. Eight years ago I went through a difficult period. In my case, it was marriage related. I suffered from PTSD, panic attacks and depression. If it wasn't for my God, family and friends, I wouldn't have pulled through. Be grateful for your rock. You guys are sweet. Sending much love and hugs

[@milanapanic6554]

Honestly this is like I've watched video of myself. Eaven my birthday was yesterday, same rough period from not processing emotions, seeing people who are depressed around me and thinking that it's a weakness, boyfriend that's a constant support... Gosh yes therapy really helps a lot. Unfortunately I only could afford one session but I've been researching things online, taking care of myself, talking to my closest group of friends, reading books on how to better my life.. It means so much that you shared this it makes me feel less alone. Sending love your way 💕

[@hollymarie3404]

Mental illness is the right term hun. I clicked so fast when I saw the title of this video. I take mental illness and the awareness very seriously. I’ve recently been diagnosed with mild to moderate depression, I’ve always had anxiety and have been formally diagnosed with it, from a young age. It’s something that can be hard to deal with at times, I’ve denied phone calls, taken lots of time off work, almost to the point of being fired, cried in front of people, at home, in public, and recently had someone remind how awkward it is to be around me through these times, which was wrong and a tough pill to swallow. First off, you’re not alone, always remember this, talking DOES help, so never be afraid, and most of all NEVER see it as weak, I know it’s hard sweetie. Behavioural issues do occur, moodiness, snapping, loss of interest in things that would normally interest you, crying out of nowhere, sometimes there’s no reason specific for it to happen...yes talking to someone professional (therapist, psychologist) is good, there are mild differences between the two: A therapist will do more action for you, ex: give you exercises and new things to try, as well as suggestions, whereas for a psychologist will listen and prescribe you medication along with you being able to share. Your fans are here dear! Thank you so much for sharing, remember to take it day by day, each one is a step forward, and happy birthday!! ❤️

[@golfinhoblue207]

A psychologist can't prescribe medication, that's a psychiatrist. Believe me, i'm studying psychology.

[@SuperRoo91]

That's incorrect, psychologists and therapists can deliver therapy, not medication though. Only psychiatry can prescribe medication. Best of luck on your journey getting support x

[@hollymarie3404]

SuperRoo91 a little error on my behalf (when there’s so many different ones) it gets confusing after a while, and thank you x.

[@celiap.1949]

So proud of you for talking about this ! I know how hard it can be to admit something is not ok, especially when you are the kind to push things away and focus on work, thinking it will go away. Take all the time you need, cause your health is as important to us as your content, because we love you for you and we want you to be happy. Don't worry about videos or post, and focus on getting better, we will still be here when you choose to come back ! Lots of love

[@zamaarriahajenkins2928]

Emma I look forward to watching you because of your spirit and your personality. If you feel that that has been compromised, I know I can speak for the people who watch you to say, take all the time you need. I would rather not see you for a month and you be 100% , than to see you next week and be in the same mindset. I think that depression is becoming very very common amongst our generation and that not enough people are trying to get to the root of it. Needless to say, I love you and KNOW that you will make it through 🌹

[@francescaashton1055]

I go through really tough times sometimes with my mental health and I think as we are becoming more aware of our mental health, we realise that really most people are affected on some level with their mental health. I don't know anyone who has a totally crystal clear mental health! Watching your videos always make me lol and boost my mood when I need it so I'm grateful for you!

[@janestephanierudolf2206]

I feel for you, dear. My husband has been dealing with mental illness for 14 years and at this point my whole family is in therapy. It’s hard, but it helps. Acknowledge is the key. The worst thing is to do nothing. Much love from Denmark.

[@AshkinsCurls]

This resonates so much. Very brave hun, wishing you all the best and that you feel better soon

[@merriem24]

You seem so authentic. You will overcome this. Don’t run from it. Embrace your feelings and don’t be ashamed of them. We all feel depressed at times. You are definitely not alone!

[@kareenwilliams5099]

My heart goes out to you, half the battle is understanding that it’s not a weakness. Praying for the both of you.

[@DeirdreKnight1]

Thank you for being so brave Emma. I understand the ‘share/not share’ thing and I think you handled this with grace and courtesy. I love your videos and have learned so much from you. Do what you need to do and let the people who love you carry the load while you nurture yourself however you need... and indulge in as many puppy snuggles as you can fit into a day. 🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶 🙋🏼😊

[@thuzherimus]

Emma, you are so brave! Talking about your mental health is so important and I admire you so much for sharing this i know it takes guts to open up about how you really feel. I have been loving your youtube channel from day 1 and I will continue to love it ❤️ You have strengh of lion you will find a way through this ❤️ P.S. Happy birthday beautiful 😉

[@miadee4298]

Emma, thank you so much for sharing. You’re definitely not alone. I’ve been struggling with depression most of my life, I’m 36. I was bullied as a kid, which was the cause of incredibly low self esteem, on top of that I’ve been struggling with infertility, which has taken my depression and anxiety to the next level. I’ve been going to a therapist and support groups, you’re doing the right thing, it definitely helps! To me you’re perfect inside and out! I’m glad you have Simon and your adorable puppies to cheer you up♥️ happy birthday!! 💝 enjoy Turkey!!!

[@natatatt]

I went through a really hard time with anxiety + panic attacks last summer. For anyone else who is struggling, I learned that it's important to talk to loved ones about what's going on, to seek counselling to learn strategies to help, and to be really kind to yourself and give yourself lots of time to feel better. It was really important to not put pressure on myself to feel better by X date. And in my specific experience, medication as a temporary measure was SO helpful in allowing my mind to calm down enough to allow counselling to work. Best wishes Emma.

[@sharonfitzgerald1807]

Oh you sweet girl! I am your old lady follower(71)I told you to get a portable air condition from QVC Lol. Any way,I just love you and Simon! when I saw the title of the video, I thought Christ allmighty, she has left Simon! I am sooo happy that wasn't the case.Listen Emma, I have seen a lot of things, and been through a lot of shit in allof my time on earth.Do what is best for you allways. Make sure you have a good therapist. If you dont like one get another.They are all not the same. I had a bad shrink once, that after one visit he told me I was depressed gave me a list of books to read, told me to get a pillow and a tennis racquet and beat the pillow twice a day, and gave me a RX for drugs. Can you believe it.? I reported him.He was nuts!!! Thank god it was me and not someone who was really bad off, they would have jumped off the roof! lol . Be careful! I am so glad you have a wonderful mom and hubby who love you . You are a smart girl, and have a good head on your shoulders You will be just fine, I know it! lots of love from sin city USA. (I was a black dealer for 25 years) that's why I needed a shrink!lol take care and lots of LOVE xoxo

[@FunnyFallGuy]

When I first came upon your video about your five dogs, I was so inspired. I have two little chihuahuas and know the love that they give me...... when I saw you with all your dogs, I thought about how much love you must have in your life. You inspire me, Emma. I have a love for you, if that makes sense. I am so proud of you for facing up to your troubles and I know that you will be okay. Also, I know that you are going to help a lot of people by coming out with all this. p.s. I have depression too.

[@katherinemillhouse7365]

You take the time you need, you know we have your back ❤❤❤❤

[@katherinemillhouse7365]

So sweet when you said about missing Simon and hime being your rock, i git tear ❤

[@elizabethelliott6327]

So glad you are getting help - and thank you for raising awareness. It’s difficult to figure out - and then communicate - how depression manifests itself for you. Everyone is so different. The tips I give myself are: 1. Tell someone, even if it’s just “I’m having a hard time coping, I need you to know.” 2. Know it will pass - it’s like a malicious friend who pops in unexpectedly and then refuses to leave when you want them to. 3. Delay major life decisions. 4. Embrace self-awareness. 5. Do what you need to do - therapist, exercise, medication, vacation. Whatever works. No judgement. Sending you positivity and peace. ❤️

[@SuperSweetgirl007]

Emma, I am so glad you have chosen to share with us, your story will help others not feel alone and be brave to seek counsel! It’s contribute with your healing- being honest with yourself. I went through something very similar around you age... the best thing I did was found someone to talk to and worked hard on my healing. It was the greatest invested I did for MYSELF. I learned so much, what were my triggers, and unhealthy coping mechanisms I needed to stop, and how to cope in a healthier way. My husband too was my greatest help, this made me appreciate him all the more. It also strengthen our relationship. Let my encourage you -It does get better, but you need time and a great support system. My faith in God really help me too. Sending you hugs and prayers 😘🤗🙏🏼

[@jenniferblake5553]

I understand the need and want to internalize things in the back of your mind until your trapped then explode. Mine seem to trigger around my birthday when I thought I would be at a certain place in my life or seeing others hit milestone that I haven’t reached. The thing that helped but hurt at times was to “pull back the curtain” and examine why it was a sticking point , why it bothered me or why I made it something it wasn’t. A lot of mine was perception , expectations and managing those in a healthy way not a race ... what could wait and what couldn’t. Take your time to figure it out and grow from it. Things feels bad now but they won’t always be this way , this two will pass.

[@JamieConn]

You are definitely not alone! I’ve had depression and anxiety since I was 13. I’m 28 now. It’s definitely something that isn’t easy to deal with. You are truly amazing Emma. And just know that you are not alone. Sending lots of love!! 💛 (and I’m glad you and Simon are okay ☺️ #favcouple )

[@bnelson52]

1st step it so recognize it and 2nd step is to get help. You are on the right track! I quit social media 4 years ago - specifically Facebook. Whenever I went on it, I would end up feeling bad about myself. It was obviously easier for me because my job didn't have anything to do with social media. I hope you can start working on yourself and find your happy place.

[@emilypound]

Kudos to you for being open about this. I'm one of those people who knows all too well how appearances can be deceiving in terms of depression and how very often we use externals as distractions so we don't have to deal with it. Take care of yourself, sweetie, it's a brave thing you are doing.

[@lilliellinikou3523]

Dear Emma, Just recently I started watching your videos and as I am familiar with depression ( used to be depressed and my ex suffered from severe depression) I noticed the depression signs on you ! It’s great that you accepted it and got help .Wish you all the best! Keep up and fight !

[@CarlyRowena]

So damn proud of you!

[@Marienkaefer4]

Glad you realized you needed help and that you reached out to someone! I think there are a lot more people with depression than what we think. I have suffered from it for a long time (22 years) but with medicine and help from others I can lead a happy, beautiful life. You will get better, it just takes patience and time sweetie! Love ya!

[@mrs.h9621]

you've been absent from social media 2 weeks, i've been from life (read job life, most of social life as well) for over 2 years now. all caused by hereditary depression and a life crisis determined by excessive work in a city I did not lived in, moving to too many countries in a short time, not lowering my expectations low enough to know that as a foreigner you are not perceived as a human being trying to survive, but just as some cheaper workforce who would do anything to stay there (I did not so refused the system as a whole, especially in the US). Still getting there to put my life back together, open my own design business and convince my husband that home is the only place we belong in this crazy world where nowadays just superficiality, fakeness and cheating or judging other people matters. so, big hug and get over this soon!

[@kingcrimson1204]

Happy birthday Emma! So much empathy for you sharing your experience here. I was super nervous to watch this video (#selfish) as I feel of all the "influencers" out there you're so genuine and you and Simon put so much of yourselves out there for us we to a certain degree "know you". We've all got our own experience with mental illness - my mother lived with manic depression before she passed away in 2011 - all I can add from personal experience is to just say, do what ever you need to do. I know social media is your living but if you need a break, take one. And hugs to Simon too ❤❤

[@cheerfulcharlie7374]

Hi Emma, thanks for sharing this video as it completely resonated with me. I'm very recently married and I've also recently started my KZbin channel but haven't posted much for the similar reasons to you. Many of us have battles we're facing behind the scene, but always remember that you're never alone. Please stay strong and keep posting as I love your videos and have just subscribed - you're so beautiful & inspiring! Sending a massive hug to you 🤗 xx

[@danabaginski5310]

Thank you for being honest and sharing your raw feelings. ❤️

[@janakoehler4843]

You are such an amazing and strong person! Depression sucks. For so many years I thought I was just weak or silly until I realized that what I was experiencing wasn't the norm. Now I know that it's not a personal failing on my part; it's mental, it's chemical, and like any other illness you shouldn't be ashamed of it. Your videos have really helped me cheer up when I'm down and I hope that talking to someone helps you! Keep your head up! It might seem like things will always be dark or sad but that's never the case!

[@Oliveoilextravergine]

Dear Emma, im not sure how to start, or maybe i am not able to find the right words, because i don't now enough or my native language isn't english☺️I recognize that `depression`or mental illness in general is getting more and more nowadays especially with social media. Maybe because we talk more about it and start to get more open about it, what i find very, very important, but maybe because this" social media business" is developing so much pressure and stress , and so many of us can't deal with all this anymore... it makes me kind of sad...because: social media is getting more and more unsocial .We don't find enough time to keep away from this sometimes so overwhelming being online all day and sometimes night, we forget to live our lifes `natural`...the time for us , we need to relax and get a distance from this, is getting smaller and smaller... Thanks , Emma for being so open and honest, and showing that these things, like `not feeling good` belong to us and there is no reason to feel bad or sorry .Sending you a lot of hugs and kisses from Germany❤️🤝and yes this is also why i am subscribed

[@shantinabarber9034]

The Brave One! Being able to acknowledge that something is not right with you and deciding to seek help is the first step to recovery. This video is much needed. Mental Illness is often overwhelming, overlooked, and hidden , but a lot of people suffer with this illness. Thanks for opening up and not suffering in silence!

[@lynnlovescakes1912]

Look after yourself. Very brave and honest. Having suffered from depression myself I understand how you feel. Take time out. Relaxed with those you love and love you. You are so right to get help. Thinking of you.

[@josalmon4742]

Depression has been an issue my whole adult life, probably since I was 26. I am 67 and have taken antidepressants and anxiety medication since then. I am so thankful for medicine. Therapy and counseling are so important, too. Take your time with yourself and yes I felt and still feel a stigma. It hit me when I started having kids. Be proud that you are getting help. I view you as so confidant and having an open personality.I njoyed all my. Oh selling sessions because I got to talk about myself and analyze. I had a difficult childhood. I understand totally. You take care and never be ashamed of taking care of you. A big hug to you.

[@laurad7034]

That conservatory is beautiful and so are you Emma 💕. Depression and anxiety are no fun. I always try to remember what my Dad has always told me, life is hard yard by yard but inch by inch it’s a cinch. I know it feels like 💩 when your in it but I always try to remember that you’ve felt happiness before and you’ll feel it again. Slowly but surely, little by little you’ll start to feel better 😊. Thank you for sharing Emma you’ve helped so many of us with all your videos. We all hope we can help you by listening. Take your time and take care of yourself first. We’ll be here when you feel ready to come back. ❤️ Reaching through my screen and giving you a big bear 🐻hug!

[@saskiasalina7663]

How brave you are, thank you for your honesty. You are not alone and many of us understand what you are going through ❤️

[@laureeylenbosch688]

Hi Emma, I'm a psychology student and I completely understand what u are talking about. I think it's a really good idea to take a little break and focus on yourself. You have done a wonderful job talking about this on social media en you have certainly encouraged other people to open up about their own issues. We are all very proud of you! It is indeed okay not to feel okay. Take care and never give up. XX

[@BriLamberson]

Just coming across this on KZbin and I’m so grateful that you shared your journey. It is incredibly brave. Been there girl. Sending you love.

[@samgeorgesunny]

Well done Emma for speaking out. I'm sorry that you're going through a tough time. It's proof that mental health problems have no regard for the amount of designer shoes and handbags a person has. Social media in general tends to show the happy, glossy side of life so I thank you for being real and honest xxx

[@breffni6810]

Thank you so much for speaking up about this! It's takes a lot to admit that you're not okay, especially to the public. You're so brave and we're glad that you're getting help. A lot of us have been there or are going through similar mental health issues and it's so so important to talk about it and normalise self care i.e. talking to a professional/counselor etc. We're all here and we all love you! Sending you so much love 💕💕

[@lifetimesofericaclark606]

Sending you and Simon nothing but absolute love. Thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for sharing. Most of all, thank you for getting help. It took guts to upload this video. Love you, Em.

[@anastasiamohiley7094]

Lots of love and hugs for you my dearest Emma ❤️ I cried when I watched your video! As a person who suffered from depression a lot in the past I know exactly how it feels! Reaching out for help is the right thing to do and when you start seeing how many people are there with the same problems ready to help and support, you will start feeling better! ❤️❤️❤️

[@rachel8621]

I really respect and admire you for being open about this and taking care of yourself by taking a step back xx

[@rugbybid2023]

You're stronger than you think already! Putting people before yourself to share the message that it's ok to not be ok right in this raw moment is commendable. Everyone will experience a battle with their mental health and talking is always a positive change. Love you guys and you got this 💅😘 also, happy birthday! Xxx

[@HM-pw8it]

Hi Beautiful! You’re not alone. I too am “not ok”. I have PTSD as a result from my childhood. I have severe anxiety and depression and it’s a constant battle every single day. Last year I got to a point where I was only able to force myself to leave my townhome to go to work. It was June of this year before I’d even stepped foot in an actual place of public that wasn’t my place of employment. I’m the same way when it comes to bottling up everything inside and putting forward a brave face... but I eventually got to the point where I’d been so brave for so long that I just couldn’t do it anymore. During my time out from the world I discovered KZbin and the world of blogging/bloggers. I started watching Lydia Elise Millen who in turn led me to your channel. I fell in love! Watching you and Simon having so much fun together, going out and about, DOING things, and just really living, inspired me to try to once again push past my fears and enjoy my life. To make the most of my present and my future, and forget my past. Because I can’t change that. I still have days when I’m so overwhelmed I can’t get out of my bed (or my pajamas) but the past couple of months I’ve been watching your channel I have to say I’ve been the most inspired and encouraged to move past all my problems and just focus on being present. When I feel myself getting depressed or anxious or overwhelmed I put one of your lovely videos on. Even if I’ve already seen it. And it helps me. Emma YOU help me. And I’m so thankful that your channel is that kind of “safe place” or escape for me. You exude confidence and I really admire and look up to you. Now I’m rambling... lol long story short.... YOU are NOT alone. It’s ok, not to be ok. And you’re an inspiration and you help people just by being your lovely lovely self! I will support you as much as someone can support someone from the comment section of KZbin...❤️❤️❤️ Warm Wishes ❤️❤️❤️

[@joanhaughton3391]

Hannah-Marie ....Well said - strong words softly spoken !

[@samanthalubitz3]

I just started taking Medication for my depression and it's been a very strange journey. But I'm so glad you're being open and showing people that it's alright to not be ok. We're gonna get through this together Emma

[@d26s10]

Bless you, it’s hard, I have a tendency to go through the phases too Emma so I totally support you for acknowledging your feelings. Life has its funny waves of darkness and light. Do whatever you need to fill your cup back up from empty. We’ll all be here waiting for you. Much love 😘

[@scharneeify]

I know exactly how you feel and appreciate you sharing something so personal for you. I have dealt with the same myself and quiet time and speaking openly and honestly to someone I didn't know helped a lot as well . Sending love to you and Simon and the puppies. Happy Birthday.

[@jennifergriffith1287]

You live a very public life, so you deserve to do what’s best for you. Disappear for awhile and make YOURSELF your priority.

[@MelanieZachariades]

I'm right there with you girl! It took me SO LONG to admit it and even longer to get into therapy. At 34, I finally see a therapist weekly and i love her and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made. Hang in there. This is pretty common! Mental health is super important and we should talk about it more, thank you for sharing.

[@ShaliniDaisy]

I get u completely. I’ve gone through the same for a decade if not more, and am still learning to ‘handle it’ as I’m growing older. It’s never easy but the key word is ‘perseverance’. Don’t blame yourself, it’s just how we are with our sensitivity. Always remember that things will definitely get better ✨ Happy b’day my beautiful gorgeous strong Lioness 🎂

[@mariemoloney2381]

So inspirational! It takes a lot of guts to say “I’m not ok”, there are many times I wish I had your bravery. I could see in your videos in the past couple of months that there was something going on. Wishing you all the positivity and love in the world!! I know that by you explaining what’s going on in your life will definitely help other people. Marie

[@sunshinegalkw9675]

Everyone is not ok.... this is the norm these days. Many people suffer from mental illness... depression and so on. You are not alone! We send you our love. I also don’t think social media is good for your health. A lot of the you tubers I watch seem to be going through the same thing... stay 💪🏻 strong! ❤️

[@segourneysavery5126]

Thank you so much for sharing and being honest. I’m dealing with something very similar and have cut down on social media quite a bit. It’s helped me a lot. Praying for you and Simon. Happy Birthday fellow Leo 🦁

[@dust-jacket]

Emma, it’s amazing how attached & protective we Vlog friends get of you & Simon. I was thinking about you all week, wondering if you were okay. My heart went out to you as you stoically did the video, & I wish I could have given you a real hug ... you are so relatable, real, honest & strong (even if you don’t feel strong at the moment) ❤️🙏🏻 x Debra

[@themissleona]

We're all here to support! I think it's a growing pain, it means you're getting stronger, more mature, and you're going to become a better human being, ready to take more responsibilities. Wish everything goes well with u girl!

[@bluelunevideos]

I wish I could just hug you in person but since I can't please accept my virtual one. I am a wholehearted proponent of speaking to a therapist when life becomes overwhelming. As it does for EVERYONE at some point. My advice - pick a therapist that you connect with. The first one may not be the one. It's difficult enough to reach out in the first place but trust me on this - if you don't feel you are being heard then move on to another one. It's just like dating. Secondly - a very good therapist I saw told me the reason therapy works so well is that when we try to deal with our problems on our own our thoughts are all a jumble and hard to sort out. But as soon as you start talking (out loud) to someone those very same thoughts come out in a more logical, linear fashion and they are easier to sort out and deal with. You will be amazed at how just having someone to talk to makes something that seems completely overwhelming actually to be surmountable. Simon - if you are reading this - hugs to you as well. It's hard to watch when someone you love is struggling. ❤️

[@crazy4LUCY]

Im going through the same thing right now, 3 years now, and through prayer and Bible reading God is hope, He is life and we just need to call on Him for help. I will keep you in my prayers, and you pray too...He's got you!!!

[@juliepeck1596]

Just remember to breath Emma, breathing exercises help me calm myself down and it has helped me with the way I react to the issues that I have had in the past. Take care of yourself we all love you and Simon dearly. xx Happy Birthday, have a wonderful day xx

[@Jstras77]

Julie Peck breathing is so important iI recently started doing Mindfulness meditation and it has helped my depression so much along with my pets I have four Guinea Pigs and a chihuahua mix. I’ve also reprogrammed my brain to be positive I still have bad days but being negative makes me so tired and I’m 52 so I’ve had a lot of negative years but trying to keep my chin up and keep breathing!!!💜

[@juliepeck1596]

Hi Jennifer, you and I are the same age and I know how bad negativity can affect how you live your life. I have two Birman cats that just seem to know when I am feeling down and they come and try and lift my spirits, their unconditional love is amazing. I also do meditation and distance healing and am trying to be even more mindful of how I think of others and especially how I speak with them on a daily basis. Sending everyone love and healing energy. :) As I get older I see myself being more like a hippy, yay to the 60's kids!!!

[@francor325]

It takes a lot of courage and bravery to let go of things and truly take care of your mind & soul. I’m also even more proud of you for not just pushing forward - instead, you acknowledged that some things aren’t settling well with you, and that’s ok. It’s so important to feel everything you do full on so you can learn/grow from it rather than push it away for another day - better to let it out than keep it in :) Thank you for letting yourself into YOU! Fight on girl! We all support you

[@sharonaaviv8203]

Happy birthday emma❤️ Hope you get the help you need and get better and feel happy and enjoy your life 💐

[@natalieday727]

I can empathise with you so much Emma! You are so right in saying that admitting you are not okay is the hardest part. Please take care of yourself and I really hope the therapy sessions help. CBT really helped me xx

[@niconinimurphette1804]

My very dear Emma, everyone with a brain cell will want to subscribe to this. What you’re showing is deep honesty, vulnerability and a genuine heart. It speaks to everyone of us because one day or the other, we will go through the same experience. Believe me, it’s a good thing you’re addressing it in your thirties (don’t wait many more years like I did), you even have the courage to do it publicly and I applaud you. Your birthday is the first day of a new life 💞 it won’t be easy but it will be worth it. So worth it. Big love to you too

[@sierraelizabeth3817]

So much love to you and Simon and the pups. I have a laundry list of diagnoses, which I’ll spare you of, but I know what it’s like to feel this way and I’m so glad you’re seeing a therapist. I’ve been in and out of therapy for over 10 years and it’s honestly been life changing. I’m also on meds, and those have been instrumental in my healing. (I’m not pushing them on anyone, but I feel there’s such a negative stigma attached to them, so I try to be open and encouraging about them to negate that stereotype.) This too shall pass. xoxo

[@MommyIsAChef]

Oh, Emma 💖 We are all here for you in spirit and we send you all the love and support you might need. We love you very much and take all the time you need. U are such an amazing person that brings so much happiness to us just by watching your videos. I completely understand because I suffer it after I had my son. What really help me when I was in deep was watching the movie "The Secret". It's the law of attraction book, but the movie was first. It's unusually the other was around. They have it on KZbin. I hope this helps 💖 Take care and there's a lot of people who care about you from all over the world. Greetings from California 💖

[@jennybradbury2355]

Amazing. You are amazing. Well done for getting through this. You said some really important things and I appreciate how difficult it is to say "I'm not ok". I personally struggle.

[@ddzhou9384]

Happy Birthday Emma! I just want to let you know that you are such a brave and beautiful person, i really enjoy your work. It is ok to not feeling ok sometimes, completely normal. Take all the time you need, relax and slow down. Sending lots of love and hugs!

[@chandfreder]

Thank you for being so open and honest about your struggles. I went through a particularly bad time almost 3 years ago. Spent 2 solid years in weekly therapy, healing. It resolved. Then I didn't keep it up for the last year and have dulled my "skills." So, I've recently reached back out to a therapist and will be going back. I say all that to say, it is a process but I have no doubt that you will move through this period and come out the other side. *hearts*

[@carolebuckle7977]

Oh sweetie, been their, still fighting it as well, but you are going in the right direction. Simon is a good man and he will build you back up again with support , lots of virtual cuddles & please do not feel you have to explain, but glad you feel you could be so candid. 💞💞💞xxxx p.s sorry it is not a sunny Birthday, but many happy returns, from a continued subscriber x

[@catherineriordan4590]

Bless you. Very brave lady. Been in your shoes sweetheart, I too got help, a counsellor like you, and medication and it helped immeasurably. Keep talking, and no, you’re not rambling. You will get through this lovely lady. Much love your video will have helped so very many people. XXXX

[@pamelarobinson1379]

Oh, dear Emma. I'm so relieved you and Simon are OK. You and Simon are dear to me--even though I only know you through my laptop. It's very thoughtful of you to think of other people and sharing when you don't have to. I want to hug you right now. Take care of yourself.

[@catherinereynolds3280]

Hi Emma - I follow you on social media, on both Instagram and KZbin. I barely ever leave any comments, but I wanted to thank you for being brave and telling your story here. I think a lot of people nowadays struggle with similar issues but it’s always hard to admit that you are not okay. As someone who’s also going through a tough time, I wanted to say that I’m rooting for you! Thanks so much for sharing such tough story. ❤️

[@ellebe1796]

Emma...thank you so much for this video. You are definitely not alone and you made others not feel alone. Sending you love and light. You are such an inspiration in so many aspects. Love you! ❤️❤️❤️

[@mkbillin]

I love you so much! Hang in there. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety three times before I decided to do something about it. As women sometimes we feel like the weight of the world on our shoulders because we feel the need to nurture and put everyone else’s needs ahead of our own. You are surrounded and supported. We love you so much! Sending you light and love ❤️

[@Alegory100]

You are a better person for acknowledging it and actively working to help your self! It’s a sing of strength . I can tell you that it’s going to be so much easier to work and function now that you are working on it what ever it is. Xoxo 💋

[@cristinafigueira6662]

After reading a lot of the comments that obviously did’t surprised me at all, I hope you feel hugged by everyone of us, your followers... your “virtual friends”. It’s a massive hug, a world wide hug, dear Emma. A hug that doesn’t cure but I hope helps you.❤️❤️❤️ Here’s my part os the hug from Portugal 🇵🇹

[@sunnydae8521]

I Hope you’re feeling even a little better....it was very brave of you to share your struggle and will undoubtably help someone else. Sending you 💗

[@panoreanikolaou8953]

Aww Emma, this too shall pass. I have been to counselling before and they told me that you are actually one of the stronger ones for going because it makes you deal with your crap. You are definitely not weak! You go girl!