Emotional Men are Weak

What to expect when you join the High Thumos Men's Group.
-Weekly live talks for men with me and the group
-Get around other men who are improving every day
-Monthly workouts to make you jacked and strong
-Over 15 Channels on masculinity, mental health, money, women, goals, habits, fitness, accountability, and more
-Competition and Prizes
-24/7 Accountability
-IRL Meetups
-Reclaim Masculinity and cultivate the High Thumos Spirit in your life
The High Thumos Men's Group is filled with men from all around the world and all walks of life. We have students, entrepreneurs, military troops, programmers, crypto traders, game designers, athletes, day traders, bodybuilders, powerlifters, and more. Come join us today.
/ elishalong
#Highthumos Being a man means that you face things head on.

[@colloredbrothers]

When you can look a gorgeous woman straight in the eye and see just a person, you will be freed from the fear of women.

[@terceljiminez1556]

I never look a woman in the eye for too long(which is usually more than a few seconds), not cuz I don't want to feel uncomfortable...but because I don't want THEM to feel uncomfortable.

[@bgbbff]

Get out of the mindset of erasing a “fear of women” instead learn to embrace it and ease it to its lowest point. I highly recommend everyone read a book called Models by Mark Manson

[@theguybehindyou4762]

@Kobra Thor They might interpret him as a threat and treat him as such (up to, and including false accusations) just because he makes them uncomfortable without trying to.

[@colloredbrothers]

@Armoured Rat Not at all, its a combination of male sexuality which is driving you to talk to her and then the spiritual aspect in which you see that her worth is no more than yours and you are standing in front of a person who can't judge you just as you can't judge her. You stop seeking her approval because it will be flowing from inside of you, you approving of yourself, when you find that source of happiness the outside doesn't matter anymore, I can do whatever the fuck I want in this world. When a man of this spirit walks up to a girl and I don't care where she lands on the HB scale, he's going to sweep her off her feet like she has never before. When a woman meets a real man, a man who has conquered his fears and come out assertive, happy, confident and kind! She cannot help but follow him. A woman will give her life to a man like this even though they don't fit well together, she will endure a household full of yelling because at the end of the day she knows she chose a winner. ArmouredRat? Is that how you see yourself? Its time for you to become a Man, your pitiful outlook on women and the male female dynamics is lamenting. Go live life with no reserves, have fun, fuck women, compliment them, go drinking with your buddies, be happy at work. Go into the fucking world and grow up.

[@SkepticGamer]

@@terceljiminez1556 Stop giving a fuck

[@ShoaibKhan-bz5qm]

I’m fed up of being a people pleaser; crossing rivers for those who wouldn’t even jump over a puddle for me

[@grognackgarganil9164]

Well spoken

[@OfficialXAntiDote]

Me too

[@sg1145]

Be proud of it, try to choose people who would do the same. There are plenty enough people who feel the way you do brother. It's something you should be proud of, that some people wouldn't do the same is not your concern. It's not nice but it's about what you do, the actions you do make you the man who you are. The fact that you are brave and would do things that others wouldn't do for some people doesn't make you a people pleaser, it makes you to someone who has the courage and heart to do things. You are who you are and allways be proud of that!

[@sadfisheggsftw2466]

Facts

[@Jonny-xj7hj]

I feel you if you’d know the shut that I just happened. I feel like we’re all going through it rn lol

[@dteun]

The day my father died. Was the day he told he was proud on me. That day I became a Man I forgave him an let him go.!

[@KyleWilliamsMusic1]

D Teun holyyy fuuu

[@holo6883]

Mine committed suicide and blamed his death on his wife and children, even though they had nothing to do with the shame that brought him to his end I don't care enough about him to hate him. He isn't worth the time or energy I was forced to become more mature than I was back then. Yiu become a man when the time has come

[@Shishakind86]

Better late than never I guess.

[@57-shaiqueahmad58]

@Karan Wtf are you serious? Is that a joke?

[@Michael-ld2np]

my father just recently passed away. before then I moved out to a new city (there was resistance/doubt from both parents). A week before he passed, he acknowledged how much I've matured, changed and told me he was proud of me and to continue following my dreams. Life has changed so drastically over the past year, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else. The perspective and foresight I've gained has been well worth it.

[@miguelvidal2335]

A weak man is someone who depends on others to be happy.

[@jout738]

What if your sad depressed man, but you still dont depend on others to be happy, when you do your own stuff that entertains your own life.

[@kush7138]

@@jout738 then you're a broken man.

[@lukehart7225]

@@kush7138 fucking hell! I better not be broken

[@blacklyfe5543]

Lol

[@gunsmokegaloreyt6840]

Everyone depends on others to be happy you bloody doofus

[@mmuti7800]

I have never seen anyone be realer than this guy online

[@Kruton3]

@Donnie Pendleton I was raised by a women and I was a bitch, he’s not wrong. Maybe you’re weak and don’t know it

[@towmater1451]

Keaton Palmer dude my mom raised me red pill not even going to lie

[@dinganejamela4150]

100000×

[@yukiiong-aban7767]

100

[@Max4Z]

I feel emotions can make men weak, but you also need them to kinda connect with people or girls, if you completely blockout your feeling and become emotionally unavailable that will make it almost impossible to connect with possible friends or girl of interest

[@stevenjohnson9466]

this guy shooting from the hip, has great public speaking ability. I felt these words

[@fellowtemplar5679]

Steven Johnson Because he speaks truth.

[@urldog8876]

with a big iron

[@osamasbeard3781]

He got his great speaking abilities bc he learned to be a man

[@mayanmoon4616]

Very powerful thoughts, I was raised by my mom as well so I didn't have a male role model. Thanks for sharing brother.

[@parrotshootist3004]

Possibly in part because 'male role model' is dissmissive of fathers, fatherhood and whole value that is 'male role model'.

[@AbdulRashid-eb1wp]

Sa_To_ Ri_ and it gets worse when you're the first child

[@stefm.w.3640]

Ah man, anyone has successfully recovered from this? I've been working out 5 to 6 times a week for years now, meditating, and doing all the meme shit like cold showers, nofap, noporn also for a year now. However, I still feel like there's not a bit of masculine energy to me. I've gained a fair bit of confidence but my self-esteem is still abysmal, I'm still "her best friend".

[@theguybehindyou4762]

@@stefm.w.3640 My suggestion is to ignore women and focus on your goals. That's easy for me because my mother has been a perpetually angry psycho who took her own mother issues out on my father for as long as I've known her.

[@stefm.w.3640]

@@theguybehindyou4762 my mom is bipolar with psychotic episodes and dad was never strong enough to handle it, dont blame either of them tbh. they never had any public displays of affection, seemed to stay together just for my sake. ive talked to a bunch of people and a lot of us guys who end up on these kind of videos seem to come from a very similar kind of background.

[@niccoloaurelius1587]

Really honest. I would love to be good friends with this guy.

[@0x0abb]

Great name - sounds like a Roman general!

[@niccoloaurelius1587]

@@0x0abb thanks - it's a combination of the names of Niccolo Machiavelli and Marcus Aurelius, two interesting guys.

[@zesalesjt7797]

You didn't say NO HOMO...! *YOU DIDN'T SAY NO HOMO!!!*

[@ElishaLong]

Cheers m8

[@kimmeex]

me too 😍😍

[@michaelmeacham4517]

Bro, when I first saw this channel I was caught a little off guard. I’m not used to seeing this type of real and authentic content on KZbin. It’s refreshing, honest and relaxing.

[@ElishaLong]

Thanks man

[@followwind1471]

Finding this channel was really like stumbling upon a hidden gem. Really needed to hear this.

[@ElishaLong]

Event Horizon Glad the vids help man

[@SparklingTacos]

Being in touch with our emotions is not weakness. Not being able to control our emotions is weakness.

[@Tea_Scott]

Gosh i wanted to agree but i looked past my emotions. My response is…its complicated. people don’t choose to let their emotions run wild where they cant control them. Alot of people respond the ways they do because its a defense mechanism created to protect them from traumatic events that carry on into adulthood that we all have to try to fix when we realize how those mechanisms can and will destroy relationships and especially marriages

[@ricardocantoral7672]

My father never raised me. I'm 31 years old and I feel deeply insecure. I don't feel like a man or an adult.

[@ElishaLong]

Hey bro. Shoot me a message if you ever want to talk. I recommend reading a book called "Iron John."

[@ricardocantoral7672]

@@ElishaLong Thanks. How can I get in contact with you ?

[@AaronLyons]

@@ricardocantoral7672 his patreon has the option og skype call

[@lukehart7225]

I hope 🤞🏻 by that age, l can overcome my anxiety but l’m having trouble. Always feeling weak!

[@nestcanz]

Few days back I realized I have idealized my father. Now I need to forgive him and move on my own. 33 yo

[@cuzIambatman]

Everyone needs a Father Like Kratos

[@Michael-rm1bx]

BOY!

[@jamesfreeman7954]

Very true.

[@chocolateex1907]

🅱️oy

[@dr.wagner216]

Kratos was a piece of shit and is not a good person. He fucked Haphestus over really bad and that's not a good example of being fatherly at all. Fuck that guy

[@SurrealMK]

But Kratos was that masculine figure in his sons life that Everyman should be it shouldn’t be no looking at what he did wrong in his life he was there for his kid granted he was tough on him but that toughness will create his son into a polished masculine man kratos wasn’t a simp he was an example of an alpha male he was taking the lead

[@steejayk]

To open up like this takes some balls. Respect man

[@miguelmessam4090]

I have suffered from this all of my life

[@Unterhosegotti]

I still do. I need help.

[@jacobe.5626]

@Jaime Ares *rape

[@The-illuminated]

@x zezo im on his side

[@keepmovingforward8821]

Same here, but don't try to play the victim and let it control your life

[@lukehart7225]

In a way, l like his opinion, I’m an introvert and I hate going out, l hate speaking. I’m weak and soft.

[@huckmart2017]

In this culture, it really isnt abnormal. The world is setup in a way that cultivates anxiety and punishes authenticity. I find it pretty rare actually to meet people that live healthy lifestyles and dont feel some level of anxiety or depression. I cant remember who said it, but "being well adjusted to a profoundly sick society is no measure of health".

[@agentofenhanced2428]

Huck Mart bro you just fucking hit me holy shit

[@agentofenhanced2428]

Still can’t wrap my mind around how true this shit is, we arguably have more philosophers now than ever, we are currently the most knowledgeable on morals than we ever have been yet our actions are going in completely the opposite direction of virtue.

[@huckmart2017]

@@agentofenhanced2428 yeah I know. Most of the world is a complete perversion of what society should be. At best, we can cope with it, and at worst it completely destroys well meaning people. So many of the underlying societal systems work against our basic human nature. Its self sabotage on an almost global level.

[@letsgetnaked1000]

Jiddhu Krishnamurti originally and also quoted by Terence McKenna

[@nickycocaine]

I've been saying this shit for so long man but no one fucking listens! It really makes me happy that there are others that realize this. And I mean really come to terms with this society we live in. Everyone talks big on morals and virtues but no one acts on it. It's almost like everyone wants to convince themselves that they live virtuous. They do this by telling the world on social media or whatever, by reblogging or making posts. I see this all the time in my own life.

[@accrx]

You are forgetting that emotions are what make us human, and as men we all have and experience emotions. I’m a very emotional man, sensitive person but I faced things in life which are far from making me weak. Being emotional and sensitive is not being weak, is letting those emotions devour you to make you weak.

[@khalilfreeman7194]

Accro Exactly, the word “emotional” is way too vague and I honestly think he chose it cuz it makes the video seem more interesting than it actually is. Being overly sensitive is stupid, but so is being as emotional as a piece of driftwood. It’s all about balance.

[@sg1145]

And hiding them is a sign of weakness, most people men living the 'macho culture' are pretty much afraid of facing their feelings so they choose to hide them and use substances to opress it temporarily

[@TheEstiwe123]

Knowing the vulnerability of life is very different that veing very sensitive to it.

[@voidevery1197]

Accro I can relate to being sensitive yet facing heavy burdens in life that make me stronger than I may appear due to an overflow of empathy. A true man exercises his emotional mind so that he builds up the “stamina” to keep himself tranquil and a good sense for control of his emotions. One does so by simply being present, and embracing the flow of the moment as it is without doubt, or at least that is the key for me. I can easily get depressed or anxious thinking about the past or future and working myself up, but it’s always good to take the time to slow down and analyze my thoughts, to see whether my feelings are rational and relevant at present.

[@katiamartin2238]

Im so happy to see that kind of comments! 😊 totally agree with you! Thats natural

[@BrianVelez]

It’s a serious issue. I have a hard time connecting to the word “manly.” It’s brought a lot of self esteem issues growing up.

[@lucascoelho1995]

Same here. I grow up around woman and only now at 26 i’m noticing how fucked up I am.

[@arttu6779]

@@lucascoelho1995 feminism & all the "independent" single mothers smh

[@legalfictionnaturalfact3969]

Now imagine how it must be for women! Lol

[@olyl3859]

There’s different ways to be manly and frankly the word mainly means probably something different for most guys. For exemple, I don’t and will never connect with the brotherhood mentality. I don’t go out every weekend and met my boys. I have a big network and I like to met my friends once in a while, but I don’t have this need of being with the boys. I like to be independent and critical about people in general. For me, being manly is simple : being a better man every single day

[@raheemcamal998]

Yep

[@dripdripdrip1117]

This got me in tears dude.. I'm exactly going through this and I'm sure alot of teenage boys like me feel the same way too

[@off010]

Thats crazy, listening to this was like my own story as well

[@jaklumen]

Please- if you can- don't grow to middle age like I did without doing something about it.

[@jaklumen]

@Kamil X There are middle aged men like me who are just now figuring it all out, and even older. Check out Rick Belden sometime.

[@Krimson4K]

same im a teen, and im going through the same situation

[@DarkFTWCraft]

Same

[@marwan1270]

I love the fact that you speak about masculinity whilst not fearing western society judging you as a sexist

[@tokeish6393]

Hungarian Nationalist /r/im13andthisisdeep

[@anarchySandwich]

@@tokeish6393 14*

[@saudade5018]

This is your first video I've watched. 5AM, tired, desperate, studying for big exam, being anxious, being F E M A L E clicking on 'Emotional men are weak' or smt like that just to get my overloaded mind from that exam and stress.... and I saw you, being brutaly honest, real, dead serious, and it amazed me... I just have to tell you, you are brilliant man, that opened my eyes in so many ways, and when you speak, it's like i experience everything you say, you really keep my attention with every single word... Your mind is so clear and bright.... Thank you... I had to get back to see what got and kept me interested in your vids, and I remembered that you were not affraid to talk about your personal life on such an intimate subjects that i just had to keep up with everything you post and talk about.... bcs i believe you are very honest about things you say, and that's something rare today... thank god for that morning and that stress, and you

[@ElishaLong]

Thanks again Saudade. How did the exam go?

[@saudade5018]

@@ElishaLong hahaha very well actually....

[@ElishaLong]

@@saudade5018 Happy to hear it.

[@massformationpsychosis7681]

I recently just finished my 90 day no fap challenge, and I think the second hardest part was trying to deal with negative emotions upfront and raw. It’s kind of life changing because I told myself I didn’t want to cope with my emotions with fapping off or smoking weed. I learned to accept those emotions and deal with them, not hide them. Day 97 and rollin 🤙

[@samanmotlagh8943]

Congrats bro how long did u try to get on such a long streak?

[@massformationpsychosis7681]

Saman Motlagh I tired the challenge this summer, but relapsed in day 54. I started the challenge again during nofap November. I’m definitely not looking back

[@billjackson1485]

Hell yeah baby! Keep going!

[@isdenn7]

​@@massformationpsychosis7681 have you been with a girl or hardmode?

[@massformationpsychosis7681]

I did hard mode up until day 80ish. That’s the crazy part about this stuff bro, the girls really do come to you. I went to a friends party and meant a girl. Didn’t even talk to her, and an hour later we’re having intercourse. They’ll come to you

[@crockybird3287]

How did you know my whole entire life?

[@ElishaLong]

CROCKY BIRD you can relate?

[@crockybird3287]

@@ElishaLong Not with yours personally,but the momas boy one you spoke of. Over protected,I overcompensated in school and still do,17 and I only see my dad once a month since I was a kid. Feels like I'm talking to a stranger. When I was strong at one point and somewhat athletic and not addicted to pmo and music,I felt natural,now I'm weak and diabetic cuz my mom knew nothing about nutrition,I have no future prospects or work,no qualifications. This shit ain't natural,used to listen to isochronic tones for testosterone and confidence but I can't anymore as God won't allow me to. I might sound crazy,but I ain't schizophrenic or nothing. I was a agnostic a couple months ago. I also used to beat my mom when I was 11,as did my father,he also hit a police woman when I was like 3 months old lmfao. I should really work on being more grounded,and just grow tf up now and take responsibility. But I seriously can't be bothered.

[@skreetdiscreet2003]

I can relate to this im almost 16,ive been raised by my grandma since i was 1 year old my parents divourced 6 years ago and i live with a crappy stepmom she mostly hangs out with my dad and i am close to my grandmom but i resent her because i feel she made me soft she didnt let me 'go out in the woods' i do have alpha cousins but they live far away and we meet only for a couple of days a year they know what i am going through but they are too caught up in their life problems to be able to help me my pmo addiction goes on and off by which i mean i have recovered quite a lot. My dad loves me but says im weak and gloomy and dont have a personality i still have anxiety and depression and the only girls who run after me are the ugly and the average ones still waiting for the hot ones but recently ive decided that shouldnt be my main priority

[@samanmotlagh8943]

@@skreetdiscreet2003 feels bad bro if you wanna talk with me pm me

[@skreetdiscreet2003]

@Kobra Thor now thats some honey to my eyes..

[@leviathandiabolo6296]

I was emotionally and physically abused by my mother as a kid causing me to have low self-esteem in my head for the longest time. My dad being such a 'beta' people pleaser didn't exactly help. I have always looked at my dad as a weak man that I didn't learn anything from growing up. Took me a little while but I developed a sense of my true self and I've become more and more confident in my self and less of a people pleaser(or more like 'mom-pleaser'). The lesson at the end of the day was that parents are not perfect and you don't have to listen to them and walk on the path they want you to. 20 years old (nearing 21 now) and I have taken control of my life by rebelling against not only my parents but also against this conformist society.

[@zanearnold1337]

If you still see your father that way then you have more to learn still. Though it's been a year since then

[@lukeclark3506]

@@iPostiPodiEatiYuri I’m 23 years old, and I’ve somewhat caught on.. but eventually I’ll hopefully leave them, travel to another state.

[@raheemcamal998]

Yep

[@asuichan8436]

*Title: Emotional men are weak* Makes an emotional video

[@ParadiseAfterhours]

Seems like you didnt understand anything mate.

[@vivekmathur3514]

Point made. Dominance established.

[@ether2275]

It's called clickbait and apparently it worked.

[@cringyboring]

@@ether2275 the title of the video is supposed to be sarcastic

[@cringyboring]

@alpatr0s ok then ironic?

[@brandondaniels9471]

Our generation's Braveheart pre-battle speech 😂

[@LoneStoneMaalik]

The smoke from the scent stick adds to the ambience of this powerful video.

[@aces8481]

It takes a man to be vulnerable like this so that he may pass on his life knowledge and experience to others. Thank you so much, Elisha - you're a real one for this.

[@raheemcamal998]

👏👏👏

[@EsotericHighway]

I’m in my early 30s and I’m just now realizing the effects of my upbringing. Everything was inverted at my household. My mother took on all the masculine roles. She was the one to give me advice. She was the one to initiate everything. Lead prayers at the table... My father never taught me anything, or gave me any advice..he never taught me anything about manhood or masculinity. It’s only recently that I’ve really thought about this stuff and how has effected me. I have grown to not respect my father, and this video has given me something to reflect on.. much love brotha

[@VideosMilitary]

Your not the only one, except same story in my household growing up and having a lot of the same reflections.

[@Kawhisexual]

At least you weren't raised by a single mother.. it's beyond damaging

[@JLEOTHELION]

Literally my life

[@Mortequal]

This is so relatable

[@alexchavez3244]

Women do know what women like tho so you have to get a A and women like men who are raised by women because they learn that they are taught to be clean and use good hygiene.

[@Onestrangebrain]

Much like you man. Dominant mum, no dad. 38 now, only starting to learn how to be dad.

[@saatvik6710]

​@fredda1188 same in my case . Both lead to these problems

[@Justin-qe3tj]

My mother put me down a lot, she always said how I was ugly or that I looked dirty, my father always said I was never a real man. I didn’t know what it meant to be good enough in their eyes. My parents never told me they were proud of me, it was always “do better, not good enough” because of this I grew up shy. I grew up shy and always worried about what people thought about me, I don’t know what it means to be a man. And it sucks not having that guidance, what little I know of being a man I taught myself.

[@bobbyhill4118]

Justin I got pissed off in the ninth grade and started changing things. I never valued the opinion of others over my own, especially my mothers or my grandma’s because they put me down a lot and were frequent enemies. If you don’t respect yourself, then nobody will respect you. You don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations and that’s the basis for being happy in life. If you can do your own work and survive, then fuck what other people have to say about you.

[@azamatbagatov744]

Check Out the Alpha Male Strategies KZbin channel! Welcome to the journey

[@kingofthesolarsystem]

bro i resonated with every word because i went thru the same shit

[@backchattvsports2905]

yeah me 2 ! i was trying to figure out why i felt a certain way and this guy answered every question

[@Mayhzon]

We're all in this together. We need to find a way to cooperate as men, like the women do. We need to collectively outsmart women and the ruling class, otherwise our culture and ethnicity will go extinct.

[@ElishaLong]

Thank you for the comment

[@cornilasilkhusk5762]

Same

[@markflierl1624]

Aint that the truth. Our fathers never called their wives (our mothers) on their bullshit and lies!

[@mawfbooph1138]

There is a difference between the emotional feminine man he describes and a true man that seeks truth and is empathetic and always learning

[@PeteS_1994]

A feminine man is a true man though

[@__tyrone_]

@@PeteS_1994 No

[@gillmonsta]

@@__tyrone_ Why

[@alexwilliams3765]

@@gillmonsta Because no. Idk why these asshats are stuck in the 1950s

[@raheemcamal998]

👏👏

[@theA731N]

I pretty much raised myself with the help of KZbin. I am over my relatives lack of respect and support all of my life. I know how to handle anger and thoughts. I too am embarrassed by sexuality. I am embarrassed of public romances. I’m getting better though I’m single which is good I’m still learning how this all works. I’m just silently working on my business right now anyways. Thanks for sharing.

[@hoodhomiehelmut1145]

Mathsexual Si This is exactly me right now, im 18, single raised by a single mother and realising ALL these wrong things in our society, im doing sport every day and try to escape this programming. Im going to the Army soon where Men can teach me things for life a woman could never do

[@theA731N]

Elektrofensterheber That’s good you’ll be able to find yourself. Men are good to be around it builds masculine traits. But never fall into the category of men that are bitter about women and resent them. Everyone goes through things. You’ll find the right girl I swear you just have to be patient. She’ll even help you by supporting you. Stay up kiddo we have a long way to go I’m 21 lol.

[@TylerOliveira]

This conversation is enlightening.

[@2112gil]

Tyler Oliveira It’s transparency. True words, real feelings.

[@alhamud_imalahad]

Big chungus

[@santana8797]

Tyler Oliveira lmao why are you here

[@seymourskinner6050]

What’s your review on Big Chungus gameplay?

[@riochan2831]

Back when Tyler used to comment on random viral videos to get views lmaoo

[@1280haha]

When with uncontrollable emotions are weak* Even weaker are men who disconnect from their emotions completely. I should know. I was one.

[@MarioGomez-kj5bc]

you are just existing

[@1280haha]

Mario Gomez yes. Confidence, certainty, and a healthy understanding of boundaries is absolutely necessary.

[@zajax1896]

Im trans now thank you! :D Starting tranisition Later this year.

[@1280haha]

@@zajax1896 unfortunate. I hope you see the er of your satire. There are many trans who detrans because it didn’t work for them, solving whatever personal issues they suffer from. It is evidence that trans is not what the narrative portrays it to be. I pray you find peace.

[@zajax1896]

@@1280haha ok

[@shogun9450]

Genuine af man, thank you

[@ElishaLong]

jack daniel thanks man

[@IROC-Z28]

@@ElishaLong respect brother!

[@kevinmott9046]

The lack of fathers in todays society with men raised vy women is exactly why we need each other as men. People like you become our role models. Thank you.

[@blacklightgamer97]

They´re weak because they´re wounded, try running with a sprain ankle.

[@hitoshura2800]

I know it's been a year but this is such a great comment. We're all damaged people suffering from trauma but for civility and Harmony we all put on a brave face in public. I think more needs to be taught about emotional trauma and how to deal with it.

[@symmetryfitness1]

I am an older guy (38) with a wife and two kids. Let me tell you, you are on the right track. Unfortunately society is trying to keep us from teaching you boys right. Fathers are tough on their kids especially boys because we know that life will be tough for you where if you dont know how to provide and make decisions than you will be worthless. Women can almost always find a man. The key to being a successful man in marriage, business and with kids is don't be emotional. Stay calm - when she freaks out. Stay calm. When kids are having tantrums. Stay calm. Work hard, strategize and calm her down with your tone and patience and tell her the plan. As men we are the natural leaders of our families don't act like you are fighting for it know that you are. This is also the way to get and keep a beautiful women. All the best to you all in this generation I can see how lost you all are

[@ezelegui7901]

You sound like a robot, stay calm for everything that is not the way, u just being a provider like you say not a person, just someone that all your family depends, not even questioning if they have feelings for you, I suggest you to eliminate that wannabe alpha male disguise and start to show emotions, being a man doesn’t mean to be a provider or leader only, it means to find the balance

[@rishirocks1239]

if your wife shouts at you and you stay clam....are you even the leader of family?

[@hawkeyedsentinel4648]

@@rishirocks1239 if you shout back at your wife, it makes you feminine, you sink to her level. Trust me, he is saying the right thing. This is something you do whenever your gf or wife argues with you.

[@Ayo.Ajisafe]

@@hawkeyedsentinel4648 It's hilarious! Absolutely hilarious that they don't get this. In fact scratch that....it's sad. What the hell is a man screaming at his wife??

[@Ayo.Ajisafe]

@@ezelegui7901 The alpha male thing is just one side to it. Just one angle. But spirituality is another angle. Have you read Eckhart Tolie "The power of now"? Eckhart Tolie is the furthest thing from an alpha male and not I dont mean a Beta male I mean he transcends all that bs. Your emotions are part of your body but spiritualists believe that you are NOT your body. We are so caught up in the ego that we don't even realize that most of our emotions are NOT pure at all. We have so little consciousness that we are literally running on automized programs. Take the average couple that are constantly fighting. They are experiencing emotions that are basically automated. Ironic huh? Speaking about Robots.... But alot of the emotions we show are just us living out our trauma which Eckhart Tolie calls the "pain body". It lives inside you but it isn't you. You feed it.

[@JoseHernandez-lm3hs]

This is deep bro I feel you I grew up with my grandparents Spent most of my time with my grandma I had to overcome a lot of stuff I am 35 now and still working on a couple of things

[@implive17]

Makes two of us bro. I'm 35 and still ironing some shit.

[@JoseHernandez-lm3hs]

IMPlive 17 Yes Things get better after you start working on yourself Physically, emotionally and spiritually Good luck brother

[@jamesiz4395]

That’s it we’re starting and internet fight club

[@ElishaLong]

Let's go!

[@usmankhawar5634]

@@ElishaLong We could make a subreddit for men like us. Men who feel lost, who have no war but the spiritual war. Whose great depression is their lives.

[@amjadkhaddaj7529]

@@usmankhawar5634 that sounds like r/Nofap but with extra steps

[@dragandjuric9619]

Dudes... I like this

[@Equilibrium36936]

This one was really heartfelt man

[@0x0abb]

Wow - dude, you had the courage to do this. You have taken 10 steps forward - I grew up feeling the same way. I think men, we AE starting to wake up again and see the truth.

[@Jdb63]

Hard times create strong men. Change is coming

[@willjones8341]

@@Jdb63 hard times make strong men , easy times make weak men 💪, hope your doing well brother

[@ShanBojack]

These replies are wrong in so many ways (in your reply section haha)

[@Bhartendujoshibj]

Its been 4 years and its still my favourite video on youtube.

[@Joi2049]

Was raised by only my mom for my critical childhood years. She gave her all to me. I will always be inspired by her in Hope's I can be just as good a father. My dad, I love him, but he didnt step up when I needed him as a little boy. Either way, if you have a broken family or a stable one, you learn how to be a better man. Eventually...

[@M22340]

Nothing wrong with being emotional. We're not robots. Saying that "emotional men are weak" is not a true statement. Men ARE emotional., just as emotional as women. They just bottle it up, because they are expected to by the patriarchal social system. (Men are strong, women are caring etc...). Expressing yourself and how you feel is the main sign of maturity. Pretending to be this tough brick wall only makes you seem like a child. There is a reason we think of women as being generally more mature. We have to remember that patriarchal standards affect men just as much as they affect women. Finally, emotions are not a sign of "femininity." Men express anger and hatred on a daily basis. Anger that is rooted in socio-economic conditions, and at times the very patriarchal norms you're trying to live up to end up being the very thing that angers you because for one reason or another they seem unattainable. That anger could turn to violence, hatred of women, or embracing bullshit sigma male and alpha male garbage. These insecurities are caused by a feeling of "lacking." It could be lacking confidence, lacking physique, lacking life stability and so on. This feeling of lacking, if you think about it, means that there is something that should be there. And what should be there is unsurprisingly "masculine characteristics." You may never live up to them, and that's fine. Men are not a cosmic entity with a singular ability and goal. We are different people with different abilities, different lives, and different stories. This should not be a problem. I know that making a comment like this here may anger most people who will read it, and you might completely reject the notion that there even is a "patriarchy." But a few years ago I was in your place. I was watching these videos relentlessly. So If you want to reply tp this comment, maybe understand what I mean by it first. If you want to ask a question, shoot. Maybe we can talk it out.

[@dikti3197]

My father is just like your father hes present there but never emotionally or physically for me , he never taught me how to be a man and always acts like hes the ideal father in front of people and family members

[@Denji.J]

Dikti I’ve been there man I can see where u are coming from

[@fxstdribbler6427]

Same but sometimes even they don't know how to be masculine and be a man.

[@lukeclark3506]

@@riccardomorici2134 true bro, I guess sometimes my egos too high to forgive them.. cause people see me as a leader, and I’m not a leader when it comes to my job

[@minglee9288]

my dads always been there too. but i never got to build a core relationship with him. hed rather work 12 hours on average or be passive as a father. he will share his experiences and get frustrated if things didnt go as imagined. but it never felt like it was personal.

[@steffenw.brandenstein9656]

When I started to get into weightlifting my mom would be like "Aren't you getting too big?" or "You shouldn't get any bigger". When I showed her pictures of a close friend of mine, she would be like "Oh, he's certainly gotten handsome. Can you imagine looking like that?". Throughout my entire youth she was like that. And to this day, she still is.

[@TrillzMMA]

self doubting you

[@alejandrohernandez3767]

My mom and dad are like that

[@a-oh2bc]

My mum is the same. But I say to her, I can never be too big.

[@sb6498]

Tell your mom that all of her friends are way better looking than her, on a serious note belive in yourself forget about hers or anyone else's opinion of your looks, you've only got what you were born with own the shit out of it

[@harrylongofficial6248]

All my life I’ve tried to please others... always worried about how I’m perceived. I turn 23 next week... and I have never been in a relationship let alone even kissed a girl. I guess it’s because my parents made me live with them on the top of a hill in an old peoples village from the ages of 8-19. Secluded from anyone my own age. And sent to a special school surrounded by people with rare problems. I was just a bit slow on learning and truly bad at math... everything else fine, but that decision they made of sending me there made my experience growing up much different. So coming out of that special school into a normal college and afterwards in to a city at university, I had some social skills but it took me a while to callobrate to a normal social standard. So, I think not being surrounded by women most of my life has made that a reason why I’m still single. And it’s so easy to think I’m just going to have a conversation with another human being but it’s easier said than done. god, I wish when I turn 23 next week that I suddenly lose the sense of caring how people view me, but I worry even by putting this on here that people will think I’m weird for not having a relationship before at this age... anyways, great video as always man

[@ballisliferjs]

Kiss fat girls. Then gradually progress

[@manuelubaldoochoa4781]

Peoples view of you is a reflection of a part of them that they are reflecting on you and people have an imagination. If you try figure everyone out youll go crazy.

[@PotatoSoup58]

I'm 25 and I'm on the same boat as you. Never dated, always sheltered and very self conscious.

[@littlelizard3483]

Orthiundox Noises lmao funny but sounds like a good strategy

[@dannyhammer6351]

hey dude im 22 and had a similar upbringing to the man in the video, your next step is to forget everything youve been taught and find a few role models to watch and learn from, i would recommend starting with watching elliot hulse videos. its time now to focus on yourself and by doing so you will naturally attract positive people and healthy relationships. dont worry i have never been in a relationship either, but with a bit of self development now i have zero self esteem issues and i can talk to girls without feeling insecure for no reason. i hope you figure it out my bro, all the best!

[@tientruong2007]

Having no emotional responses doesn't make you strong, it makes you broken. I know because I have emotional numbness due to neglecting and repressing my own emotions. Thinking that you're better than someone who is emotional doesn't make you a better man, it makes you someone with a fragile sense of self worth, needing to put down others to make yourself feel better.

[@allankuria9923]

Preach!

[@goni9991]

this isnt about not having emotional responses. Dont let the emotions control you!

[@muhdyasierazmee637]

It's not about having no emotional response, it's about controlling them. I've seen two men in my life with healthy emotional response and a non heathy one. The healthy ones are those who are able to express their emotions in a way that would make them feel better after crying and then consult a therapist or seek help basically to recover. Another one with the unhealthy emotional response are those who can't control themselves when they're angry or sad and always blaming life for what is happening and always play the victim card and never seek help at all even if advises are given.

[@grayhound5863]

I didn't have a father to Grow up with, left him when I was 9 with Mom. I feel exactly the same. But since I started following you, You became the man figure in my Life. Thanks.

[@bigjimtuus9123]

@Karan Nothing cute about that

[@icekoldcilla8470]

Story of My life. I've always felt like an outsider whenever I go out with acquaintances and I've always been a closed off person, who likes being alone bc all the insecurities I've had growing up furthered to the point of me not having the courage to not only form relationships with women but with other men too.. Its a real pain

[@malonemuert]

HE has got insecurities about his looks??! Than I shall never come out of my house, geez...

[@jaredvalisno7762]

You dont realize that we all do have insecuritties even those hollywood actorss were humans natural stuff you have to overcome it

[@excuseyou7198]

Everyone has insecurities

[@diegozambrano2185]

Ikr, this dude is frcking gorgeous

[@joshclyde9347]

My mom cheated on my dad and it has messed me up with women as well. I just don’t trust them at all, and feel a real hatred toward them. I do still try to please which is a weird irony so I can relate to do this whole heartedly. In some ways I’m scared of women because i saw the way it destroyed my dad.

[@bigshepherd3127]

Man I think we had the same Mom! And yes I feel EXACTLY the same. History repeats itself since I was married for 3 years and got cheated on 3 times in those 3 years. Now divorced and not even interested in dating. Sad how things turn out in life but my faith in Jesus is healing me and helping me to be content with what I have. Trust in Him and you will NEVER be alone!

[@heeloheym3334]

Damn Elisha I have a very similar life story and I can relate a lot. My dad wasn't alpha at all he was pretty anxious himself and growing up he was my role model. I would always have to be nice to others and greet neighbors and that made me people's pleaser. I still struggle till this day what other people think of me. I was learnt that by being nice other people would treat me nice too. But it's not always like that unfortunatelly. And if someone's respond is negative I start to doubt myself what I did wrong. I know that I didn't do anything wrong but there is still that feeling.

[@heeloheym3334]

But working out everyday, eating healthy and stepping outside my comfort zone makes me a beast and I can say it makes me more confident along with nofap!

[@technikal270]

Thank you for this. Honestly.

[@trevorbekun7039]

Bro you're like the big brother I never had

[@queenbby2382]

How are you

[@teenafofeena1567]

I relate to this as a woman. The dynamic between your parents is pretty similar to my parents. Its interesting how our parents subconsciously instill things in us isn’t it?

[@iwannadissolve5653]

@ProjectKarusell letting it affect so much that you're not even able to do stuff that should be normal... I think I can relate.

[@NitBeanTheMachine]

Ali Raza nah

[@nj3260]

Females can relate too. Especially females who grew up with a single father like me. Especially being a very masculine father. Over time I never related well with women. Only with men I feel comfortable and I’ve gotten close with.

[@josephgericke6599]

read the book 'the rational male' it ALMOST exactly explains why you feel the way you do

[@josephgericke6599]

@Kobra Thor thanks for clarifiying!

[@LifeOfPres]

Rational male book 3, positive masculinity

[@nuzbae]

I don’t know how to forgive my mom truly man... she fucked me up when I was super young... dude please keep doing what you do. There are people out there, like me that find so much more value from hearing what you have to say my man, keep doing you dawg!

[@lecomtedeneuch9994]

I exited her from my life. Society tells you that you should always love your Mother. No you don't. Love is always conditional. It's not a feeling. It's a way of treating someone in a balanced way. I'll never forgive her nor my family for putting me down all the time. When you understand that strength is the most important trait in a man, your life is good to go.

[@NFSMAN50]

Had a similar upbringing as you, emotionally distant dad, overbearing mom. I used to struggle with masculinity as a youth, because i was very emotional, and was shamed for it at times by my mom. I was also a huge peoples pleaser and wanted approval and validation from other people and it attracted abusive and manipulative people, and whenever i stood up for myself against abusive people, i got punished for it, and i still have resentment for that. I've always liked and felt comfortable being around women, but my mom was overbearing and told me that "women are out to get you, you will get acused etc", it made me fearful of them, until my adult years when i went to college. The crazy part is that, outside of my home, people were more accepting of me, and my emotions and i realized that, my parents are stuck in their old mindset. Im a man and will always be a man despite what society says what it means to be a man. Eff all this be a fake emotionless aggressive man, thats not masculinity to me, being masculine means your confident in yourself and abilities! I've become more emotionally distant from my parents and don't share my hobbies and interests anymore, because they shamed me for it. Great video

[@ItalianStallionTV]

Wow it’s scary how much I can relate to this coming from a traditional Italian upbringing, I was conditioned to be a people pleaser and I too felt shame to express my sexuality, I’m trying my best to to reprogram my brain into a masculine frame but it’s hard breaking old habits that have been with me my whole life... I’m 21 btw, hope its not too late for me :/

[@erikoud.8193]

21 you're very young. Sky is the limit for you.

[@lordvenus7999]

U can do it bro

[@ItalianStallionTV]

Thanks guys I appreciate the support

[@sonicloud7774]

Yeah I'm the same age in the same position.

[@ElbertSal225]

Dude the similarities between your parents and my parents is uncanny. You speak a lot of truth man. I’m crying right now, but I’m glad to hear your words. Thank you so much.

[@HussRisingYT]

Relatable. It's time to reclaim what's rightfully ours. Our masculine edge.

[@willhaynes4298]

this is what i needed to change the rest of my life. thanks for being so open

[@ElishaLong]

Absolutely man. Let's get it

[@jae4826]

Wowww what you’ve said was extremely powerful, “We can’t focus on pleasing our parents, we have to forgive them”. You have encouraged me to speak to my parents about how they’ve impacted me, but most importantly taking my power back and focus on myself. Thank you!!!

[@PureOrganic]

The Red Pill. This video just made me realize how real it is and thanks for talking about this. It’s a conversation that isn’t had enough in life.

[@dev.morrison]

Powerful video man. You did a good job of showing all perspectives of your relationship with your manhood, the vulnerability and what you still resent. So many men just puff out their chest and operate from a fake alpha standpoint thats not relatable at all. Keep it up brotha

[@sanderm.521]

Can relate to this. My solution is not to have expectations from my parents. Their opinion is not important anymore, it is me now and my wife and kids. Good luck!

[@thunderwolf2576]

I hear you bro. Personally grew up in a place with not much resources, not much mentors or role models. Grew up reading myths and felt some kind of connection in the stories. However I was judged, ridiculed made fun of, nearly emasculated and bullied. Asked for help but no one answered. Lost faith in myself and in people. To this day I practically shun and shame myself from everyone, even my own family. All because I wanted to be a great guy and strong but like I said before, I was stuck in a bowl with nowhere to go. Just wasting my days.

[@titos_sfirakis]

As soon as this video finished my mom walked in my room and started making fun of how much of a pig i am for not cleaning my room. I was already feeling emotional and started crying. I need to practise my toughness

[@Ayryvyl]

Then clean your room, not because your mom told you but because men keep their realm clean

[@titos_sfirakis]

@@Ayryvyl i did ily

[@lordofhostsappreciator3075]

Beat her

[@A53055]

We have similar stories & im honestly conquering this shit everyday because, i know that blaming my parents for all that has ever happened to me , is just further exaggerating, the excuses and feminine behavior , we are all men, we have the ability to become everything we want to be, it is etched in our dna. Further your knowledge, quit being a slave to shit & get focused on yourself, prepare to be a leader. STAY BLESSED✊🏼

[@roadtoempowerment3316]

From my understanding the reason we are so physiologically inclined to be anxious regarding rejection from other men and especially women is because we evolved in small tribes so the consequences of rejection was much more real and dangerous for the survival of your genes. If you only had a few women in your tribe with many guys rejection essentially meant your genetic code would die out. Rejection anxiety is this primordial tribal fear that lives on still even though we have thousands of more options with women so a few rejections don't matter much at all.

[@li6706]

Road to Empowerment i learned this from RSD

[@MrMaxtng]

The Selfish Gene - Richard Dawkins

[@inbisibleful]

Bruh thought you were sparking a joint when the vid started lmao

[@ealiapourakbari5399]

In my opinion, at this point of time masculinity is under attack in many different ways. This is really dope, subscribed

[@XxSomeonexX1000]

Damn, you almost described my life. I grew up with a single mother. No father figure. My mom was basically a 2 in 1 mom and dad. She taught me how to be a man somewhat. She was overprotective sometimes, but she also knew when to throw me off the nest so I could learn to fly. The shame is real. I have social anxiety and have to battle with it most days. Elisha you are the father I never had. My dad is a piece of shit. If I could go back in time I would want you as my father. Your videos and also other youtubers showed me to stop bitching about everything and just man up and face it. Even if I die I wanna die knowing I faced adversity head on. Your videos and other MGTOW/ masculine youtubers made my life better through mewing, fasting, eating right, going to the gym and hitting it hard, no fap full no PMO, and meditation just to name a few things. I can confidently say now I am reconnected with my masculine self thanks to you. The part you said where you were trying to seek approval from your mom always I felt that. Elisha don't ever stop making videos, at least until you got well over a million subscribers. You are the father figure for many of us feminine nerdy momma's boys who never had a father.

[@tensei3520]

You’re not alone brother.

[@XxSomeonexX1000]

@Nick Yakunin I'm not exactly MGTOW. I like MGTOW youtubers because they talk about masculinity and nofap and all that.

[@li6706]

Wtf is mewing

[@nok4799]

@@li6706 having your tongue in the correct position. Mouth shut, tongue against palate.

[@josephdockemeyer4807]

@@li6706 - it's a method or specific protocol that develops the chin and jaw to a more masculine countenance. Simply put, place your tongue against the roof of your mouth with teeth closed. This is proper tongue placement. It was developed by Dr. Mews to correct facial defects without orthodontics. The difference it makes is like night and day - over time. Proper facial development begins by breastfeeding for a baby's first year minimum.. Pulling breast milk is work and begins good facial development. Bottle feeding cannot compare. Crunchy foods and tough meats continue the jaw development to achieve masculine potential. Modern children are usually bottle feed due to working mothers and eat a soft western diet. An almost bigger problem for jaw development is mouth breathing which causes a recessed jaw. The facial bones don't fuse until age 65. Before that time you can still effect huge positive changes for the better. It's easier and faster for children, but achievable for adults with a little extra time to get the results. Adherents refer to it as "Mewing" in honor of Dr. Mew who developed it... Cheekbones will become higher, jaw much more pronounced & sculpted and chin firmer. Noses tend to look better, as well. The unfused facial bones will actually shift to a more pleasing position. The tongue must be kept against the roof of the mouth. Gets easier over time. Watch more videos about Mewing. Here's how: smile big and then swallow. The place at the roof of your mouth where your tongue ends up, after swallowing, is proper tongue placement. You can stop smiling, but KEEP the tongue up there with teeth closed... Practice and it gets second nature. The change to your bone structure will be one of strong, firm and masculine structural changes. Google.

[@maxscarchannelpower3583]

Dude you are telling my story. It was exactly the same.. even the thing with training and showing up my mom my new muscles.. good to hear that we are not alone! Which you the best man

[@MII2o90]

I went through a similar childhood. My father was never there because he worked abroad but when he was they would always get in fights. Often I had to intervene because my mom couldn't just should up. She antagonized my father for hours. My father stoicly took it which I always resented him for. Never got a I'm proud of you from my parents or any in kind of emotional response. I feel you bro.

[@Thefew12]

The most transparent type of male video I seen on the damn internet !. It is just refreshing, my God.

[@evolvetogether9085]

I think this is more universal than just "emotional men". The video is emotional 100%. Emotions, once they are observed controlled, can be extremely powerful tools of the human experience. You're learning to be you, not learning to "be a man".

[@toylo9567]

it depends how u use the emotions behind the words, look at adolf hitler brah

[@BattlerOfEarth]

yeah this is a good comment keep it up bro

[@MrNoufa10]

7:38 The cruel truth.. I relate to that, I really wished that my father could have teach me something useful, as he is meant to be the model.. It feel deceiving, but I can't blame him either way as he is, himself, a man with a "weak" personality. Unfortunately.

[@KiraAndMakani]

Well that hit me deep dude. First time i heard someone talking about this topic, really opened my eyes about where i stand at the moment.

[@sandwich1997]

This is straight up amazing. Thank you.

[@antony2206]

Crying is not weak, it's ok to let out your emotion sometimes.

[@lukeclark3506]

I don’t think it is especially in front of people

[@User-pz4re]

Crying doesn't let emotions out, it strengthens them

[@ruth078]

God I wish my boyfriend was more emotional. It can be exhausting to often not know what the other is feeling. He says he hasn't cried in years. He is sometimes on the brink of crying but always stops himself. I can't even comfort him then because he pretends like everything is fine, smokes weed and distances himself. When we first started dating he stopped smoking for a week and he cried during that week. I'm glad he did because otherwise I may never see him cry.

[@MarioGomez-kj5bc]

toxic masculinity, been there too. Hope your boyfriend can connect to his emotions little bit by little bit and heal from past issues

[@rouxosborn5914]

In South Africa, 21 and still living with my mother. Our house has been sold and now I'm looking for work so I can become independent. I have an interview in 4 hours and feel like I have zero trust in myself. This video however inspired me and gave me some confidence, thanks for your wise words man, appreciate it.

[@camper_channel7796]

I have the same situation in my family. I was a poor guy who came from school and every freaking time told my MOM how good I had done. Every mark, every clothing was bought by my mom. I have always been watched by her. She is always checking my grades, activities etc. The WORST THING is that if I do something not in her pleasure she clearly starts to run from 1 room to another yelling how ungrateful I am, and everytime she is calling ALL of her relatives to critisize me. I tried putting the password on my PC - the worst freaking idea. She literally stopped cooking food, I was supposed to go to my grandma. The worst thing is that every family member does not believe me and blame me even more. I'm 16 right now and about 3 month ago I ran into some self-development videos. I started to notice a lot after I had watched about 50 of them. After watching your video I undetstood a lot. That's really sad because most men don't notice it, the same situation will reoccur with their kids. Luckily for me, I noticed that.

[@xruhz]

Record it next time she goes off and show someone

[@anarchySandwich]

I never understood how a mother could be so spiteful toward a child. Someone that you literally created and now you're destroying their self esteem by humiliating them for making any type of mistake. Enduring that all throughout childhood cannot produce someone who is ready to enter society independently. Keep on being your own guide if someone will not help you, that will build incredibly strong character.

[@MaxPower-mg8cj]

16 is old enough to be a man. You need to respect yourself and set boundaries that no one can cross. Not your mother, not anyone. If she doesn't cook for you, then fine. You call the police station or a relative and say you need food because she's not providing for her underage kid. Or you go out and get your own food. She is training you to cave in and let people walk all of you because she wants to do that. Never let people do that no matter what. Go to the gym, lift weights. Embrace the pain of adversity, it will feed your manhood. It's always easier to cave in , but in the long run it will kill your soul and ruin your self respect and your life. Also having a password on your PC is the kind of privacy to expected of a 16 year old. that is psychotic controlling behavior from your mother...

[@runingstack7165]

You watched videos about self development, so check out Videos how to cook 😂. Nah bro forreal, keep your head up, ignore all her bullshit, but still respect her. In the End its your Life..

[@lodyy]

I can't have password on my phone or anything because my mom wants to check my messages.

[@DB-kl6we]

Grew up the same way. My mom acted like an entitled queen. She ran the show, yet did not appreciate anything my dad did for her. She worked him to the bone. I never saw appreciation from her until he fell ill with West Nile Virus and he was out cold for a month. It's a fuckin shame. He let her walk all over him. The worst part is I'm adopted and already had a distorted view of relationships.

[@ericcoelho5965]

My mother does this between me and my brother, she tries to tell us we copy each other, and are Jealous of each other. she's constantly telling me bad things about my brother and vice versa. Not once she's given us any sort of compliment. She's unable to feel remorse or empathy. In 28years of my life I never seen or heard my mother apologize or show affection towards the family. She will speak to us all in a nice tone in front of people and as soon as no one is around she will make us all feel like absolute trash. I always wondered why other families spend time around each others smiling and laughing because I never had a good time or managed to be myself around mine. Now days I struggle with social anxiety and panic attacks on a daily basis, I got so good at hiding the way I feel that no1 has an idea of what I'm going through

[@dustypaint]

I passed out listening to Elisha while resting my muscles and suddenly woken up, it reminds me the days I used to sleep during school. Waking up to the best part of the class

[@MrRANDUM145]

My earliest memory in grade school was in kindergarten. I asked the teacher a simple question and she shamed me by yelling to the the entire class what I just asked her. That was such a terrible thing to do to a kid especially at that foundational period. That had a huge effect on my willfulness to ask questions in life.

[@Voiceofimaganaryfrnd]

Bro I can definitely relate. Dynamics in my family were similar to yours. Also, I want to express my gratitude for you. I can feel your presence, groundendness and that you are present even through the screen. Which helps become more present and grounded as well. Thank you Elisha!

[@salifyanjisimbaya2304]

This helped me realize alot of things in my life,I had so much anger towards dad,and how he neglected my mother. At 30 I started realizing that has been hurting me so badly,I can't freely express scared because my father never saw good in me he always criticized me.thanks man this has opened my eyes in so many ways

[@dmoop1]

It takes courage and strength to show honest emotions with the proper amount of expression as a man.

[@dexter3315]

i’ve been surrounded by female influence since i was young when my mom had full custody and let me see my dad weekends and my oldest brother was a misguided kid so i latched onto my mom and sister. i am glad i have been able to connect with my dad and my brother who matured taught me the basics of being a man.

[@myrawest]

It is obvious you have chosen to be self aware and trace back why you are the way you are/feel and think the way you do. That is so amazing. You have incredible insight. And I keep finding myself thinking "yes, yes, yes," as I listen. My only differing opinion, it seems, is this... Emotions do not make you weak. Being driven and controlled by your emotions does. Learning to feel and express emotions in a healthy way is true self mastery and requires the most self discipline and strength. Stoicism is a good thing when you're dealing with the world. It is good to be strong and seemingly bullet proof (I do agree showing anger makes a person (man or woman) look weak, because they do not have control over themselves.) It is incredibly important to not be run/controlled by your emotions. But it is good and natural to have emotions and to feel. It's not the feelings that are the problem, it's people who are not yet able to control them and are driven by their emotions. This may be the one subject I am most passionate about because I think in terms of who my future husband will be. I think if men don't allow themselves to feel, they will be suppressing something that will only eat them from the inside. Learn to feel your emotions, harness them, control them, express them and have a healthy outlet for them. It is called self mastery. In terms of intimacy with a spouse or committed partner, I cannot stress this enough... True intimacy and trust cannot happen without mutual vulnerability. I don't want to feel that my husband has huge walls up against me, where he will not ever show me his true emotions, or let me in. This can be extremely harmful to the relationship especially when a man refuses to show or tell his partner that he has been hurt by them. It causes a downward spiral if the woman does not know when something she says or does is hurtful and accidentally keeps doing it. Again I can't stress enough, having and feeling emotion is not femenine, it is human. And you can be strong -- I believe it takes more strength -- and feel emotions. Just think about how terrifying vulnerability is to you, that should tell you how much strength it actually takes to be vulnerable. I have high respect for men who can experience and yes, show emotion, like crying, while also being able to have the discipline and self control to not be run by them.

[@arthurb.w.597]

He did mention to let it go, which implies acceptance.. I'd take a guess that he's against wallowing in emotionalism, not suppression

[@jout738]

It aint always weak, that you cant control your emotions, if others have fucked with you so so much, that you want to do revenge or then die out, because you cant stand living in the pain where you cant revenge.

[@jout738]

Where do women hurt men. Is it that bad boys that lack any emotion, so they treat the woman bad, so why women attracted to bad boys. I have not had any wife that could annoy me, but still seen women in my life that annoyed me with their loud screaming voice speaking over me, when they are so self satisfied with themselves, that they think their always 100% right in arguments and nowdays society is ruled by girl power, so typically I cant do shit about that, than get bit sad and bit angry with wishing to beat up thoese kind of women real hard, but I just still cant, when I know the consequences of the nowdays girl power society.

[@sweethearts86]

You're doing a wonderful thing, self-discovery is very rewarding!

[@oddnoir8592]

You inspired me man, takes a man to talk openly about his insecurities and feelings

[@Dr1MaR]

My dad was a complete doormat to my mom. She controlled everything. He took absolutely no control. No control over her, no control over me, I disrespected him right from my childhood and treated him like a dog. All he did is provide the family with money and food. He had severe alhohol issues and passed away a year ago. Although he was a terrible father and husband he did teach me one thing:"the kind of man not to be".

[@guitarrwd]

I'm an oldest son and i can resonate with this a lot man. It makes me want to take control of my life

[@FluffyBunny9002]

I feel like we are the same person. I'm still having issues dealing with my anxiety, but I'm also trying to do that while getting sober, and it feels impossible most days. I drank, usually until blackout drunk, nearly every day for the last decade, and today I'm 40 days sober. Anxiety is something I'll have to concentrate on next, but everything this guy says makes so much sense.