Encouragement After a Breakup

If you're going through a breakup, this video is meant to encourage you and help you to realize that despite the sadness you are feeling, you don't need to suffer, and everything will be OK.

[@randycollins87]

I’ve found that the “thoughts” never really stop, ever.

[@FrankJames]

Oh, good. Ha ha, that gave me a laugh.

[@edwardsbarbara25]

I agree, Randy

[@gabrielag639]

They eventually do though... ;)

[@mutsopjekop]

You are a strong person. Your way of thinking is beautiful:)

[@littleflower115]

Infp here. I have got a life advice. It was one of the most harsh life lessons I’ve ever learnt - after the break up. It’s the thing that ‘you should be always very clear if you are both INFx types’ . What I’m feeling is devastating. We said things we didn’t mean because the topics were abstract - we were not clear and bold - we misunderstood each other. I seriously feel like a fish that cannot breath out of water nowadays... I feel like I'm out of air. This lesson punched me so hard in the face. Always be very clear of what you are feeling and what you are doing. Don’t confuse the other person’s mind with your weird excuses. Don’t overthink. Overthinking is a killing pattern. It may be too late and you may lose the one you want for your whole life. My love is unconditional and I’m still loyal to his love, I’m still waiting if he comes back. I’m a religious girl. Well, I’ll keep on praying for his well being... We don’t know what is good for us but God knows... I trust the plan. All we have is the present moment. :) Invest in yourself. Try to push your limits - before it’s too late. I’m still crying, it’s been a weird whole month. I won’t lose my hope. I won’t dwell into the past. I’ll wait, pray and see what is going to happen... I start crying out of nowhere, at very absurd moments, while washing my hands, painting, looking at myself in the mirror ... sometimes even when walking. I still wake up with heart ache. Ugh. Please, take care of your loved one before it’s too late. But if it’s too late, improve your skills, do good deeds and be present in the moment. These were my tips as an Infp, who loves an Infj.

[@thoomm]

Oh my oh my i feel you. Broke up two weeks ago, im pretty sure she is INFP, im an INFJ. Everything felt so suddenly over and so many words remain unspoken, more so.. some feelings just cannot be expressed in words. I wish her all the best and i want to believe she feels the same about me. It hurts so much and still life goes on, still hoping we can succeed. Sending you love and hoping you are doing great now

[@_sheplayedme]

how Is it now dear?

[@gustamanavo]

I'm going through a breakup at the moment, but I got broken up with. I actually wanted to stay in the relationship even knowing deep down it wasn't right for me cause I thought that things could change and all that... Now I'm scared. And I say that because before I gave it a chance I knew it would be very hard for me to find someone who could "fit" my expectations/ideals... And in this relationship I was focusing on the little things that brought me joy, in the day-to-day life with someone... But this person never made me feel secure and that almost drove me insane. On the day of the breakup I actually felt relief but as time went on I missed those little things like having someone you were accustomed to you know? But I decided to do the door slam thing, and not because I have any negative feelings for that person but because I know I gave my 100% and it still wasn't enough, and besides we both want to be together but we know it wouldn't be right so in the end I'm grateful for their decision to put an end to it. Right now I'm just trying to get over the overflowing sadness, and the obsessive thoughts about failure and shame. Thank you for the video!

[@bbdn5123]

Gustavo Vargas I can relate. Check out Ross Rosenberg on self love deficiency aka codependency. 🌟

[@gustamanavo]

BB DN thank you so much!!! That's exactly what was happening. It's scary how psychology explains everything.

[@bbdn5123]

You're welcome. I'm glad it's giving you new insights and hope it's helpful. The road to recovery can be hard and long. I can't speak from experience (yet). It's suppose to be worth it...

[@mmprettypistol]

Lisa Romano is also an excellent life coach. She co-chairs a video with Ross. These are 2 of the best Therapists I have found who are proficient in all areas they cover. Relationships breakups are difficult in and of themselves. Frank James, I commend you on your compassionate approach and expertise in delivering this sensitive material in a positive light. I myself am having a difficult time with a recent loss, my son, and for the first time, after viewing your video, I feel inspired and hopeful. Godspeed, Namaste, and Carpe Diem, dear one.

[@ilahhusich9153]

Gustavo, the same was happening in my relationship and he ended it a month ago. Everything that you wrote is pretty much the same in my case. So, how are things these days? How long were you in that relationship? I was 4 years and 7 months with him. How did you cope with this over time and when did you start to feel better?

[@randycollins87]

Frank you’re very perceptive for your age. It took me a life time to get to where you are at now. But I tell you it’ll all work out. More or less.

[@hazelblueyes]

I am also an INFJ.... and I got caught up with a narcissist and it was excruciatingly painful :/ anyway this video helps me 💜 thank you James! I enjoy your videos!

[@Greatlakes-z9s]

Haley Degan ~ Yes, it is so painful. It’s like the pain blossoms even more after the relationship with a narc. I still see the way I ‘thought’ it was coupled with the way it really was. I don’t have many words to even describe how horrible the truth was in the relationship.

[@schrodingerscat1763]

@@Greatlakes-z9s I learned the words for that feeling. Its called cognitive dissonance. I fell for one too. I get it.

[@breakerofchains1662]

Divorced a narc already. 100% No Contact for 3 months now. And when I took a test and find this INFJ community, I stay cool and attractive as Frank again. Thank you everyone in this community and Frank.

[@breakerofchains1662]

Haley Degan Walk away, don’t run. I was totally destroyed by a narc. Trust me it will be the most painful thing to do to walk away from trauma bonding. I didn’t remember ME. ( I don’t think Frank has been through a matrix world of narcissist) . I recommend “Royal we” channel first to break free. Only took me 3 months to cure from narc addiction. Now I regain INFJ power back again. I am proud to be an INFJ and process the dark and powerful side of it. Dominate the world. Door slam narcs even they are your friends.

[@tawnielucasmusic]

I found this video very helpful. I have a bad habit of living in the past and prolonging pain and sadness for months. I would justify the sadness because the relationship was so meaningful to me so I couldn't just let it go. Finally I've started living in the present and moving on from the past since it does not exist anymore as you said. There's uncertainty for sure which is scary, but right now, and in the future, there's infinite possibilities which is nice to think about.

[@FrankJames]

thanks for your comment, Tawnie :)

[@luismx8]

Man, you are so insightful. I broke up with my girlfriend a little over a year ago and a lot of what you mention are things that I needed to hear. I hope you feel better too!

[@ashleykbarks]

I always find it interesting that INFJs have the awe-inspiring ability to express themselves in the way that INTPs wish they could. Thanks for saying that I was thinking in my incapable little INTP brain of mine.

[@Terinka14]

that hit me hard. I admire FJs videos because I am always so shocked at how well he expresses himself, especially thoughts that I often have too but never can quite explain or even put my finger on them in the first place.

[@lazoshi]

Thank you for being brave enough to share this with others.

[@jasonyoung6125]

I love how us INFJ's can just talk and be so intuitive, that as we're talking, we can coach ourself into what, why and how about something that happened, that left us once in the dark, but now inlightened . You seemed way more out of it in the beginning of the video and towards the end, you seemed a little bit better about the situation. Talking about our problem does wanders to the outcomes of how we feel, or used to feel. You're awesome FJ!!!

[@wacubby]

Perfectly said.

[@jeremiahfix5529]

Still hurts!

[@jamessoroe5605]

I haven't watched the obsessive thoughts video, but I'm sure I'll relate. I also just ended a relationship that was for all intents and purposes, a good relationship. I knew it shouldn't happen from day 1 because of a deep divide in theological beliefs. But it felt good so I recklessly forged ahead. But as the feelings approached a point of no return, I ended it. I guess I wasn't prepared for the suddenness and finality of it all. But you're right, ending something that seemed like a good thing definitely made it tougher. There was regret. I went through the self loathing phase. The "that couldn't have all been for nothing" phase. But here we are less than 3 weeks out, and I've felt every emotion there is. Cried all the tears, listened to all songs, and am in a decent place mentally.

[@FrankJames]

I think this is an INFJ thing, to throw open the door to somebody recklessly even when we know we shouldn't, then jump out right before it gets too "real." I saw a lot of my own experience in your comment.

[@jamessoroe5605]

Frank James Yeah. And I'm not a big fan of platitudes, or cliche's. But time really does help, and especially if you just feel and accept whatever comes.

[@lixk843]

I broke up two months ago and im still living with him. It’s painful but these videos are helping

[@neogbfe3587]

Wow, it's been two years and this video has helped me out. I used some of your tips and I can say, I erased myself from the relationship. I left everyone and started over. It hurt, although the past serves no purpose in the present. I know my ex has moved on and she found someone who fits in her life. The pain I felt and words exchanged, I remember one word "obligation". That word alone has made me rethink friendship or second chances.

[@cs7009]

I finally feel understood. I’ve been in a depression for months. I finally feel some relief from your words

[@VeganYogaMama]

This is such a well spoken, insightful video! Thank you. I had a breakup almost two months ago, and it was very emotionally destructive at first. It's getting better though as I try to let go and refocus.

[@damiblade1349]

OMG i feel like we share same thoughts. Is that even possible? Till now I had no idea about INFJ. Whole my life I tried to understand what is wrong with me and why I'm the way I am. That explains a lot. I feel weird.

[@FrankJames]

It's possible.

[@samanthacraig7849]

Me too, man. I keep poring over his videos because I finally feel like I'm not all fucked up. Or at least not alone.

[@denisewittman975]

It’s like the comment section is an INFJ support group.

[@corinnegeras5975]

Geeze, you are so good at this ! Such insight ! 2 years later now . Wonder what your thoughts about this breakup are now.

[@femaleperson2662]

Everyone going through a breakup should see this video, it's pure gold. Thank you Frank. Thanks for taping into your own pain to share the emotions, true insights and simply good advice. If only more people could and would do this for others. Before I thought you were great but now I know you really are a gem. Amazingly good karma is going to find you, you do deserve it.

[@AnnaIsHere]

I'm not even going through a break up. But just really liked your early videos like this, when you speak calmly, not spending too much energy on acting (or I think so)

[@In_time]

Oh man, who you tellin! I was with him back when his following was maybe 2hundred and waited for these videos to post.. they helped me so much and I couldn’t believe someone like this existed, lol! His channel morphed so drastically over time though, so commercial and goofy until the authenticity and genuine feel seemed to dry up. I couldn’t anymore. I still check in from time to time.. he’s well on his way in YT land, but I miss _this_ Frank so much. We all have those YT’ers we “grew up” with, he was def one of mine. I wish him well but hope he’ll get back to his roots someday..

[@NYCGlamDork]

I wonder if it got too much for him after a while? It is like watching a completely different person! IIRC during his live stream when he reached 1 m he said if he went back to more Vlog style once in a while he had to find a way to have boundaries, again I could be wrong. I think he started changing after the last breakup a couple of years ago, the more public one. Sorry about the late reply, I feel strange responding to old videos LOl, but I feel compelled once in a while :) Though could you imagine if FJ did an old-school video like this talking about becoming a dad. Or even reacting to one of his old videos and talking about how he changed. I imagine he still has this heart and mind, we just don't get to see it as much in his content.

[@AnnaIsHere]

@@NYCGlamDork True, I really would like to see that - reacting to one of the old videos

[@heatherpence2145]

"indulge in thinking of the past or the future" "make yourself suffer beyond the emotions you feel" love this. something to really think about. eye opening

[@ericahail8105]

I enjoy watching your shows. I found this video to be helpful. I've been caught up in a toxic on again off again relationship. My soon to be ex-husband (married him twice) is an addict and when he uses he blames me for his bad choices and our marriage goes to hell. This time resorted in him having an affair which he told me was also my fault. Finally I have been able to do the infj door slam on him. I feel horrible for doing this door slam thing but I have to in order to protect myself. I know he is unwell mentally but there's nothing I can do because no matter what I do any negative choices he makes he thinks Its my fault. Anyone ever deal with anything like this cause it confuses me

[@parus_1671]

oh my god this video made a single tear roll down my face. this hits super close even when i have never really been in a romantic relationship. thank you for making these videos, i know that a lot of people can get something out even from these older ones. it's like you're pointing out things that i already sort of knew. these videos help me get new motivation to improve some rather painful things in my life. not sure if i'll succeed, but you know, it's better to even realize there is something and try to accept it.

[@irissinclair6751]

I've been struggling a lot after a bad break up, we didn't even have a reason to break up. I didn't think too much about it at first but then I started to miss the person badly for months but I didn't allow myself to get back together with him. A year after that and twenty love poems after, I don't even think we were in love. I wish I saw this video back then, it would've helped me to get over him quicker.

[@amiraibrahem9076]

you helped me and said all the exact feeling i'm experiencing right now , thanks a lot from my heart

[@belindamarcou573]

I'm an infj and had a break up that literally took me a few years to get over. Because he didn't give me a reason why he decided to end things. At least not a clear reason. I'm not sure he even knew fully why he decided to end it. Your video gave me some answered anwers. Thanks 😃

[@flor3382]

Exactly the same thing happened to me

[@ElusvOptmst1]

Frank, thanks for the encouragement, because I've been there too. The truth is, things will get better in time. Blessings and Happy Holidays! :)

[@Julia-ej4jz]

The emotional bond is real. That is why it hurts after a breakup.

[@cherishtheday2223]

I always have obsessive thoughts about a relationship when things get hard/ when there is a breakup. I’m glad just to know that I’m not the only person who experiences this. Thank you 💔

[@ghostiesgroupie9391]

LolaLivesHere Same here. Stay strong ❤️

[@kumarsaktivioly]

Thank you, Frank. I really needed to hear this... -Fellow INFJ

[@karynjones49]

This was very helpful to me personally in my life right now. Thank you truly for expressing all this in a vulnerable way. I really do feel encouraged and I love how you mentioned being resilient. You ended it with hope which was exactly what I needed. Thank you for your pure content in this video.

[@oliviamassey9519]

Going through a breakup recently and I can’t explain how much your wisdom and insight on INFJ emotions has helped me through this. Thank you FJ ❤️

[@AbnormaalTsi]

Even months after my breakup, i rly needed to hear this. It means so much to me, because i might have been living in the past instead of the present. Thank you James

[@laurakenway6262]

My sister really must have respected your thoughts. She spoke these words and at that time it was so healing, now hearing them from you holds its own sort of healing.

[@Lotusblume.8]

Wowwww💕 This is the best and the most intimate talk I have ever received from anyone on this subject. Thank you for your words and for your insight during such a hard time when it’s so easy to see things all the wrong way. I love your videos.

[@Mynameisdarkxxo]

Thanks for putting this video out, made me feel a lot better.

[@StephanieJeanne]

I should have watched this yesterday. I almost did. Everything you said is true. And it's a fine line between going with the feelings to get through them, and getting lost in them. I'm sure it wasn’t easy to make this video. Thanks so much, Frank.✌️💜

[@kellypawspa]

I find listening to all lot of alkaline trio is all I need to cure my broken heart sorrows in most cases. This time I found comfort in listening to you be so open about what's real. Watching this kinda made me feel like I was borrowing a friend. :)

[@Andy-uc9oc]

And also appreciate the experience you shared with that person. Sounds cliché but there is almost always a lesson to be learnt from the relationship too.

[@DeltaVe]

I just had my second breakup (second time being dumped) a week ago. The last time was 9 months of misery, and I decided that I wasn't going through that again. Thank you FJ for reminding me to keep my thoughts on the present, because the past and future don't exist. I realize now why I spent so long suffering then, because I got into that evil Ni-Ti loop. When I'm feeling emotional pain, it's my inner world that I must escape from, and I'm now learning how to do that by developing my Se. So, I really appreciate this video. Thank you so much.

[@jessicafortman3624]

I've recently found your KZbin and your videos just makes me feel so at ease, such a sweet soul you are.

[@M1ntt806]

Man your videos are really helping me out a lot getting over a rather painful and prolonged post breakup grief period which has been made even worse because of the whole pandemic situation, I just want you to know that your insight is very much appreciated and making peace with the situation would have been much much more difficult if KZbin didn't recommend you into my feed

[@denisewittman975]

This is so good. Maybe you should write a book about it. I could easily imagine you writing books like David Sedaris.

[@lpg2314]

my boyfriend and i broke up the other day. i know it was for the better because we couldnt agree on fundamental things. things that would make me unhappy throughout out relationship. of course i miss him still and find it hard to fathom after two years, it can all just end. INFP here

[@evanscribner9393]

I needed to hear this last year. Because it took me this long to come to the exact same conclusions. much love.

[@Barbies_playroom]

I love the depth. I have experienced all of the roller coaster emotions. I should feel this and I should feel that, I don’t have control over the outcome.

[@user-yk6gj4id2e]

Wow. This. Beautiful.

[@untamedblu]

Thank you for this video. It was painful to listen/feel, but necessary. I still don't understand how to shut off the thoughts and live in the present.

[@ANNGUYEN-rl5sm]

I am sorry to hear this. I understand how hard it was going through break-ups, it's a pain that we (I am an ENFP, however, the INFJ in me somehow just is just stronger than the ENFP) have the tendency to numb it, internally process it, until we can not feel it anymore. It would take times to heal. Just know that there is no one right or wrong when the relationship comes to an end. It's how we deal with it. Just know that we don't know what tomorrow will bring us hope, and hopefully, in one unexpected day in the future, love will come to your door knocking and say "Hi, sorry for coming too late". You will be fine, and clearly, you are, it's been a year. Hehe.

[@anastasiah2398]

Thank you, I really needed to hear that I made the right decision. No matter which angle I tried looking at it, it didn't feel right to me to remain in the relationship. I f*ing hate being intuitive. I wish I could stop analyzing and projecting 50 years into the future and live in the present moment. I could've just pretended like I didn't notice that he is still hung up on his ex and continued on with this great guy who is obviously oblivious to his own thoughts and feelings. But like the fool that I am, I listed all the proofs why he isn't over his ex and how it is affecting us today, 2 years after they broke up. Urged him to speak with his ex for closure. If they get back together, great. If not, at least he will get closure. I sincerely wish him the best.

[@CarniBarbie]

Thank you for this. Very helpful advice. BTW...your eyes are beautiful.

[@thoomm]

Thank you FJ, been feeling really mind-boggled and breath impaired from recent breakup 2 weeks ago. We both seemed so right for each other and through ups and downs i believed she was the right person for me. Turns out nothing was quite enough to keep the relationship going. It all ended a bit suddenly. Ni-Ti loop really kicking in now. -INFJ

[@chaoticbreeze6262]

You're such a beautiful person. I wish I found your channel much before. At least, I'd have had an idea that I'm not alone. Listening to your video and going through the comment section makes me feel that it's not just me, life is hard for everyone else. The thing about breakups is that it can feel so devastating and every morning it would give a thought life doesn't have a purpose anymore, despite having family and friends. At that time, one doesn't realize how much relieved and stronger it can turn a person into. We can have the deepest of feelings, but some part of our mind knows that it's not something we can't live without. I can't describe how much RELATABLE this is. You know, even the reasons were same, but I just wanted to last the temporariness longer. After it comes to an end, the pain keeps existing, however in the later stages, more part of that pain is not because we miss the person and the times we had with them, it's like the mind just wants to suffer because it likes to. The pain won't be worthy if you don't feel it enough. This is a weird mindset but that's how my brain started thinking. Now, I'm so glad that I'm healing and much more peaceful. Acceptance and self love are the most important aspects. Also, it's highly crucial to feel those emotions, not over thinking, because it's done. I've even done a mistake of running away from my feelings to face it in a worse way in the next relationship. I feel embarrassed to use the word because I don't like to think that I'm so grown up to talk this way XD.

[@sheilajohnson2679]

It's like you're in my head... How did you know I make myself suffer when things go wrong? I hold myself responsible and I deliberately beat myself down, to teach myself a lesson. I realize this, but I do it anyway, even though it's in my power to stop. And sometimes, I'm not so sure I want to., That is just assinine (sp) of me

[@desireemariec1108]

You are the most candis here. Thank you for sharing the sentiment of 2 years past *I know that whatever you're going through will pass and all that you desire will come to fruition.💜

[@JCsRadiantRae]

I think this is the best video you have done. I pray you never take it down, so I can share it with others when they are in need as I am now.

[@sarahcrabill4703]

Being an INFJ, this is the most relatable and helpful video about breakups I have watched. Thank you 💕

[@itsaishawhite]

Here's hoping you see this, Frank. I showed someone close to me this video a couple days ago because I felt it was an encouraging take on a tough topic. I don't know much about you outside of what you've allowed us viewers to see, but I know you're a human like anyone else with talents but also with struggles. Whatever it is you're going through, remember you are not the only one battling with it so its not something you have to feel alone about. It does not have to consume you. You are stronger than you think you are. You have so much potential and you've affected so many people in a positive way, so don't doubt that. Consider that fact. I'm sorry to see the messy way things are playing out as of late but then again breakups are never neat. You said you wanted to spend more time in the "real world" and I encourage you to do that with the people in your life who truly know you. They're going to be your support system even as us YT subscribers fail to say the right thing. As we've established, I'm no doctor, but I can listen pretty well and I talk back too. I'd love to be a listening ear when you need it. Even a pen pal! Btw, if you're interested in being pen pals, let me know. I'll give you my email address. I feel fortunate to have come across your videos when you were at 14k subscribers and I have been so happy to see your channel grow at such a quick rate. You create so much content that has both entertained & informed me and 31k+ people. You've motivated me to be a better person simply with your words and I'm really grateful. Now it's time for you to truly take care of yourself. I am continuing to pray for you and really look forward to a healthy, happy you. Keep breathing, Frank. You got this. ❤

[@xuanzhou5686]

We deserve happiness emotionally and physically. The rain comes and go.

[@mariek.474]

Solid and honest advice. Thank you for being so true 🖤

[@BriarbaneHag]

Very well put. It's easy for me to offer thought out advice to others in regards to lifes challenges, but it's super hard to follow through or remember that advice for myself. Hearing you is much like hearing advice i'd give so it's rather nice getting it from an external source that I can call on when a boost of reassurance is needed.

[@donnalouisemorrow]

These videos are 100% getting me through the day these days. Broke up 2 weeks ago

[@marykirsten7773]

Thank you!! I am going through a break-up and just did the door slam as well (nod to Gustavo); and it WAS time. It needs to be over. It's been an agonizing series of break-ups and make-ups; and what you said is so right--what 'was' is no longer and it never will be again--and for me, what 'was' was tumultuous to begin with. And that's why the door-slam was so important too--we CAN'T see each other again, or I believe we'll be right where we were before--another round. Anyway--your insights are so helpful, and just thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. And thank you for wishing us all well too--we are strangers (all of us collectively), but little things like that are so meaningful--

[@toad4112]

I’ve seen this video 3 times this week. I sent my ex some messages where I expressed how i feel. But he hasn’t responded. It feels as if i was just a Brick that he could remove from his life. I wish i didn’t have such strong feelings that makes me do things that i probably will regret. And i should leave him alone. But i really need him. And i can’t stop thinking about the good times with him. Maybe he just forgot about how great it was. Which is so sad. I am heartbroken.

[@Apricot90]

The past is not real is the weirdest and saddest thing I've heard.. We inherit everything that happened in the past, even the lifes of our ancestors and fathers. Our memories and failures shape us too. It all lead to who we are NOW in the PRESENT! Of course the past counts and exists, as much as you want to ignore it out of pain and lack of controle. Those who forget their past can't build a bright tomorrow

[@michaelhudecek2778]

You are very smart and I love your advice!! I'm sorry about your breakup!! Mike New York. Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year to you and your family.

[@Sareybeary]

Im so sorry...heartbreak can ache

[@georgiewheldon7409]

This doesn't just relate to break-ups, it relates to literally any anxiety, suffering, sadness... future doesn't exist, past is an illusion.

[@DH-ig3bo]

I agree with you. INTJ here, I recently broke it off with my ex boyfriend and felt guilty. Even though, I gave it a lot of thought and knew we weren't for each other. I think I really felt guilty since the words used in the breakup could've been misinterpreted and I think they were misinterpreted. He is an ENFJ, great human but not for me romantically. I also think I felt guilty bc I think we were supposed to be friends and nothing more. I felt bad that I lost that friendship but it's life and I've moved on. I really enjoy your videos,btw.

[@lionqueen6399]

I've never had somebody consider a break-up in such a rational way. I mean, of course you have to accept that it is over and move forward, but tell your brain! Rationality rarely covers up the fears. I mean, of course, if the person was mentally abusive and you realized you deserve better and have come to terms with the fact you are going to end it, it is easier (like it was with me), but when the relationship was great and you ended it for wrong reasons, it is unlikely rationality will save you. Still, great advice in here!

[@lilyflynn6086]

This was so helpful- exactly the feelings and thoughts I'm having, glad to at least know what to do about it. Thank you so much

[@roxannamunoz8161]

Truly applicable to leaving a job and finding yourself at a crossroads with your career... Thanks!

[@Nadyia307]

Thank you. Needed to hear all of this right now.

[@carissahill3414]

Your nose flares, then it itches and without thinking you swipe angrily at your nose and take your anger out on your nose. You are powerful. It is possible for you to feel your anger without upsetting you. Is anger an upsetting emotion? Why do you feel the need to take your anger out on your nose? I do know why and your nose Knows too!

[@magnoliaflower3310]

I wish I had seen this video years ago before it was posted. I really needed to hear all of this then. I am okay now. I learned how to deal with breakups better now.

[@rebecca1326]

Thank you for posting these videos. I really hate to simply echo the other posts here but at the risk of doing so... I'm going through something similar and your self discovery is incredibly validating and enlightening. And after binge watching for a bit- has made me feel grounded... if that makes sense. Thank you for sharing.

[@kathleenrivard2881]

70% rule. You can only think yourself up to a certain point.

[@savannahb.811]

Such amazing advice as always, I hope you take it

[@karinaarredondo5376]

Absolutely love everything about this. Thank you for sharing.

[@rubyroseevenstar2149]

Thinking, in the present moment, is still important (discernment). Over-thinking - worry imagining/ projecting not based on present reality is another thing entirely. Feeling your way through anything/ everything is very important, and yet listening to just what feels good to the heart and body alone, in the present moment without any mind consideration of future ramifications or past wisdom has gotten many-a person/ couple in trouble (eg. teen pregnancies etc). Also, once you have actually had children with someone, even if you break-up that is a part of your past that you are always tied with (for better or worse). For those who soul love deeply your version of rather quickly grieving, and getting over the break-up, and then engaging in another (others) is simply not true- nor is the saying "Time heals all wounds". All wounds do not heal with time and distance- things and persons may change or re-arrange within the timeline, yet things/ relationships that are left unresolved ...are just that left unresolved...and the heart does not respond to the rushing of any time agenda, save what she is actually feeling Now...about her past, present, or future. Acceptance of and ability to BE with all these feelings as they genuinely arise, is key, as well as inquiring and reflecting on the messages they hold for us that can be applied to our Now moment. “Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”― George Santayana. That said, whose version of HIStory are we considering? Just are own? Just the other persons? Or are we listening to and learning from the views of BOTH sides involved in the history, present, and future view of the RELATION-SHIP?....so we have the ability, in the present moment to consciously co-create relationships that really float OUR boat- no matter the changes of weather of the portals we pass through.

[@whatdoyoulivefor735]

Thank you.

[@laurenberretta8979]

I know you uploaded this a while ago, but my long-term boyfriend broke up with me a little over 10 months ago, and all the things you've said in this video have gotten through to me and have brought me more ease than any other advice I've been given. It's strange how strong the attachment to pain is.. I think right now I struggle more with letting go of the pain rather than letting go of him, even though I pray for relief every day. Pain is a companion in, like you said, a very perverse way, and going through the loss of him makes me afraid of losing his replacement (pain). Because then what do I have left? But then again, I'm clinically depressed , so right there may be an answer to all my confusion, who tf knows really. :)

[@katsg18]

Thanks for this. This gave me courage.

[@jasonwilkerson9497]

This is the part that's always left out of typology. You can spend hours trying to identify your type, trying to make sense or figure things out, but this is the real shit. Dave and Shan bring up the hero's journey, how life has to kick our ass, so we're forced to grow up. Knew my ex-spouse for 24 years since high school, married 16 years. Divorced. God pulled the rug from under my feet, and he was right. It still hurts, but I know it was the best thing for me. Thanks, Frank, for this honest video. NFs rock!! or at least we can rock. lol hahaha 😆😊

[@c.j.q1999]

I really like you so I’m bumping up your analytics.

[@4snailssake]

same thing happened to me... month of depression, anxiety, racing thoughts for a month. Felt peace, broke up:)

[@midiankdiniz7396]

Has been a while Still holding time Feeling breathless and not enough Spinning comfort Jungle of solitude I like it here inside my walls Strings of comfort My melody Such loneliness Open doors create a tunnel A shadow transfers To this side Birds flying free! Lol breakups are good lessons, but it hurts! Thanks for your words

[@youniqca1489]

Love that statement hahahah! He’s still a friend but not a right partner so let it go. I won’t talk to him for two years or so. I have other friends too. Bye jojo🤭 I hope you can be a stronger person in the future and someone can love u the way you need

[@jasyflor]

feeling all.the.feelings😭♥️

[@JulieMarie76]

‘The perverse pleasure of sitting in the pain of either being the victim or the villain’ - - whhhyyy do I do that?

[@watercolorblue]

Oh man, your breakup happened right about when mine did. He's an INTJ living in Ireland (I'm east coast US); we were together 5 years. Long distances ruin everything. Ouch. I backpedaled a few times with my decision, but I think I'm beginning to accept how things are now. Thanks for all your insight. I think you were very brave to post this a week after the fact.

[@justice1523]

Sometimes I feel like there is no possible way that there is any worse pain than this. I know there probably is. But this chronic, strong pain is so intense. I think I've been feeding it, though. I'm impatient. Want this pain gone.

[@kimvannote5024]

Thanks for sharing. Grieving is good for you.

[@lindzr375]

Just know there’s another INFJ out there who is SO thankful for you and your bravery

[@FrankJames]

:)

[@Julia-ej4jz]

You just cannot feel OK after a breakup. It is a loss event which causes grief. You can only try to mitigate it by staying at nature, walking, doing sport, yoga, listening to the music, spending time with friends (which most probably would turn away from you and would not want to spend time with you), going to concerts...

[@lisaq787]

13:57 - read my mind! I had a dream the other night that I had a knife in my pocket. I knew as soon as I woke up that it was meant to symbolize the way I keep "cutting" myself emotionally by dwelling on my past relationship.

[@GigiAvirett]

I’m a enfp and I’ve been really struggling with always asking “why why why.” 💔

[@vv90210]

I have a feeling a break up is in the horizon for me, so watching this video really helped me prep for it. You just so relatable. Do you have a lot of pisces or scorpio in your chart by the way?

[@Julia-ej4jz]

The grief after a breakup is caused by the lack of good hormones caused by being in a relationship. Good hormones are replaced by bad ones. It takes several months or even more for the body to adjust itself to the new reality of loneliness.

[@dantonelli1987]

Amazing video! Thank you so much for sharing with us!

[@RosheenQuynh]

Wish I had seen this in the beginning of the year when my ex betrayed me... Now I feel as though I'm too far gone, been falling for ages. Just waiting for someone to grab my arm and pull me back up...