End Self-Consciousness!

[@ovidiudrobota2182]

I was toxically shamed since my inception - but unfortunately - I didn't know what it was. I'm painfully self-conscious among people, especially when I interact with them. I have social anxiety, and when I'm about to meet some people, I almost faint (it's similar to a panic attack). I can't make eye contact without making me self-conscious and awkward. I would love to be social, but something within doesn't allow me. I struggle with 'what to say' - whatever I say to people feels forced. Excessively forced. Talking on the phone makes me uncomfortable until I ease into it - it takes about thirty minutes (and sometimes one hour) to become comfortable. I don't understand what's wrong with me and how I ended up there. Both of my parents abandoned me. My father was a violent alcoholic (I was harshly beaten by him for no reason), and my mother was anxious and depressed; she was very distant emotionally. Sometimes I feel like giving up - that toxic sense of shame is so powerful and persistent (I can't explain it).

[@33gemmie]

Don't be so hard on yourself, it seems like you are still healing and it's a process, and you can overcome it ! Are you in therapy?

[@Aainaizunzub]

Poor angel. There is nothing wrong with you. But your parents. Some people just shouldn’t have kids. They are fucked up and they fuck up the kids for life too.

[@Aainaizunzub]

⁠ Make a list of everything that makes you anxious and self conscious. And expose yourself to those situations gradually over and over again staring with the easiest ones. Over time you will build confidence. What that means is your parents basically “told you who you are” when you were at a very vulnerable age that you had no power of intelligence to control anything. You are now that person they created. Now that you’re an adult your job is to change that image. You don’t have to be who your parents told you you are. That’s actually a persona that’s not the real you. You have to basically become your true self. How? How would you raise your own kid? Do that to yourself. Your parents invisibly didn’t teach you how to behave there, how to talk with confidence to people, how to greet people, how to walk standing straight etc. they didn’t teach you how to be a confident worthy person. Instead beating you up and neglecting you they taught you you are not worthy of anything and you should be ashamed of yourself. Perfectly normal that you feel this way now. You’ve never been taught any other way other than hiding being scared being shameful being angry being embarrassed etc. imagine a person you know that is very confident. Think about that person. What makes him the way he is and what makes you the way you are? He can walk into a group of people and speak with ease and confidence? You can’t. Why? Because he had been taught that by practicing that throughout his life and he was exposed to that scenario and simply by repetition he sees it as something normal and natural. You’ve never done that so it’s very foreign dark area for you. What you’ll have to do is teach yourself what that person has been taught since a little kid. How? By doing that very thing slowly one step at a time. But repeat. Repeat repeat repeat. Repetition is the mother of all learning. By doing that over and over again you will simply be like that confident person. It will come natural to you at one point. Then you’ll see back and realize you have changed. Identify everything that triggers you everything that you feel is not how you would like on you. Do the opposite. Think feel and live as the opposite again and again until you are that person. Anything that comes easy and natural to us means it’s on our subconscious mind. For anything to pass to the subconscious mind it needs to be on the conscious mind for some time consistently. Hope this will makes sense and wish you the best. Trust me it’s doable. You’re not the fucked up person you think you are. You just never been taught the things you want. And instead was taught things you don’t want. You can change it it’s very doable. If a kid can learn to ride a bike you can learn to be a confident person.

[@Boudi-ca]

I think my self- consciousness has now turned into paranoia! Walking in Public past anyone, even houses & cars is getting uncomfortable. I think it’s time for therapy.

[@GetMoreConfidence]

That could help. Try one more thing before you do that. Try this daily exercise: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Zqm4hniNjJaVl7s

[@stefaniakonstantinidou981]

Thanks a lot for this. I think it s amazing to know others feel the same way and so you r not the only one, u r not paranoid. There are others like you!¡!!! It s liberating

[@cool-as-cucumber]

Smoke weed. Remember we are gonna die anyway and no-one will remember your goofiness

[@katsoren]

@@cool-as-cucumber damn good advice, but drugs are bad bro. Still good advice tho

[@cool-as-cucumber]

@@katsoren drugs are tools to navigate dark times

[@loveforeignaccents]

I once heard a comment that stuck with me and is true: No one thinks of you as often as you think. And, in reality, if we think everyone is always judging us for our own insecurities, just think how often we think about/judge others about their insecurities... I mean honestly, unless someone tells us, we have no idea what their insecurities are, especially strangers who we mainly come into contact with/run into on a daily basis. And your example of that lady who thought she had "fat" arms reminded me of myself as a teen... I would never be caught dead in the summer without a long-sleeve shirt and wouldn't even attend my prom because I thought I had "man arms". Makes me sad to hear that that lady feels/felt that way, but I should have felt sad for myself at the time for ever thinking that way. Now, my chubby pandemic stomach is another "story" I just have to get over.

[@GetMoreConfidence]

You got this!

[@wanxiangxiaoxin]

Just when I need it.. thank you Dr Aziz. love you back!

[@jackspedicy]

Do the thing that makes you self conscious.

[@GetMoreConfidence]

Over and over!

[@mumtazmullahkhail3357]

I’m getting self-conscious again. Hope to get back confidence

[@bluejesss]

I just love your videos! You’re so funny, smart, and generous! It is amazing to watch you so genuine and confident sharing insights and advice on topics that are deeply complex and painful. The content is truly on-point and your powerful presence speaks volumes. Thank you!

[@bobbylambert2373]

I play golf...when I go to the practice green to practice my chipping which I'm actually very very good at...if no-one is there in sight I chip the ball like I'm Tiger woods..totally submerged into getting the ball in or as close to the hole as possible with ease. But as soon as someone turns up to practice or I notice someone passing by who stops to look...every thing goes out of my brain and I virtually become someone who has never chipped a ball in his life..its a battle for 10 mins or so to close them out then the skills come back..I would love to never even think that anyone is watching but at the same time when I'm chipping at my best i would love everyone to be watching.. Any more help with this would be fantastic. God bless!

[@MayaAnazodo]

Thank You soo much for making this video, I really appreciate it. It has helped me a lot. Thanks much love

[@sarahjaini173]

Always makes me giggle your sense of humour! Another great video. Thanks 🤩

[@GetMoreConfidence]

Awesome!

[@sb6181]

Thanks. Authentic video in plain English! 👍.

[@maleidi]

Im going to send this vídeo to my daughter, Who s suffering from The same challenges as her mother did😉. Thanks!

[@JenniferGarcia-pb6wg]

Wholesome :-)

[@GetMoreConfidence]

You're very welcome!

[@wojciechstefaniak3541]

“I’m gonna watch him as we walks by us here”.. 😆 couldn’t help to LOL but that’s how it feels sometimes.

[@sheriframzy2387]

love you way man, thank you!

[@kennycantwell3683]

Hey! I just wanted to say thank you for posting your videos. They actually popped into my life exactly when I needed them. Your awesome at explaining. Love it man, your attitude is excellent for those of us who haven’t done therapy.

[@GetMoreConfidence]

You're very welcome, I'm glad you're here!

[@yonah9983]

This is one of the best videos. Thought s actions and it sounded like it came from a real authentic place. I think that's key in the Doc s most liked vids

[@GetMoreConfidence]

Thank you so much.

[@desperado.1001]

I love that this video exists for everyone to benefit from! ...Also, is it just me or does Dr. Aziz remind you of Xander from Buffy The Vampire Slayer 😆 Such a good show, I miss it haha

[@GetMoreConfidence]

LOL

[@yasmin1036]

That is really awesome! I currently going through this self-consciousness about others judgement on me and my work. Sometime i had to pass through which i do not like to go and only that time my self-consciousness extremely bothering me. Thanks Dr. Aziz for wonderful tips. The new way of thinking! Wish and Respect from far!

[@GetMoreConfidence]

You're so welcome!

[@Tierney93]

I LIVE for these weekly boosts and bit of eye candy 😉

[@GetMoreConfidence]

LOL Thanks!

[@elizabethsantos6549]

Thank you for confidence University, it is helping me so much.

[@GetMoreConfidence]

I'm so happy to hear that Elizabeth!

[@socialize-eu]

this dude is crazy. Thanks for the motivation.

[@GetMoreConfidence]

You're very welcome!

[@eminenceas1230]

Woooooah, i am just moved by this video!!!! I wanted to hear this thankss Dr

[@HouseMusicMixChanel]

My social anxiety comes from stuttering when I was a child. When i'm around my family and the closest people to me, I have 0 speech problems and i speak perfectly but when talking to new people, I'm too self conscious about not stuttering or not being able to say certain words, which makes my social anxiety worse and my speech hard, fast and im not breathing properly haha. Your videos etc are life savers for me and i'm feeling progress every day and its all rooted in lack of self confidence and being too self conscious. Your content is perfect for me. including all of your books. Thanks Aziz! :)

[@sendnoodles5437]

Try forcing yourself to speak slower regardless of how nervous you are. Pretend time has just been dialled back to 70% speed. It will feel unnatural for a while but it will offer you a few benefits - firstly is that you comes across as being less nervous which feeds back and helps you feel in control of the situation - secondly it literally makes it easier to enunciate words clearly and maintain a good cadence.

[@HouseMusicMixChanel]

@@sendnoodles5437 thanks you so much for this tip!🙏🏽

[@GetMoreConfidence]

That's fantastic!

[@mariammohammed2004]

Thanks alot..all your talks inspire me ..

[@GetMoreConfidence]

Glad to hear that!

[@jaylenegarci3448]

Thankyou so much, needed this since I am very self conscious whenever I speak I don't want my voice to sound shaky and I try hiding it and makes it worse

[@abrahamtsegay9640]

One of the best liberating video of You . Make Video about your reading habit and how you apply what you read.

[@GetMoreConfidence]

Thanks for the idea!

[@amakorcynthia1363]

I'm self conscious about my thoughts and it has gotten to point of shunning what people say because I do feel it replying in my head,listening to it rather than the speaker

[@GraveRave]

@4:04 I say amen to that Dr.

[@GetMoreConfidence]

Thank you!

[@naureenajmal5485]

That was amazing,just the thing i wanted.Thankyou .

[@GetMoreConfidence]

You're welcome!

[@Oldjaan]

The best video about this topic. Thank you.

[@Johnnyboybravo]

I think my issue is that I have a hard time holding conversation and thinking for myself and what to say. My mind draws a blank and I feel this blank sensation which feels exactly when you are waken up and someone tries to have a conversation or question and you can't even think straight. What I really hate is that people think I'm really listening to them, but I only gather 10% of what they are saying. This hurts at meetings and when I'm on dates, the first date goes well because I give this mystery vibe that shows little interest but still wanting to see the girl. However, after the second and third date the girl notices I don't really talk or hold conversations... It's like, I put no effort in the conversation. I'm just there and the girl is probably thinking, "why should I stick around, he seems like a bore"... and then I get ghosted. Girls usually text back "I really had a fun time with you, but..." At work, I hold a supervisor role, but I find that most coworkers don't respect me because I don't seem like a good leader since I don't really take hold/control of situation, I always stay quiet and if I do speak, it seems out of place or very basic. If a phone rings, I normally try to avoid it, but if I do pick up, I have to lock myself in a room so no one else hears me talk. This is just like if I'm trying to order pizza in front of people I know, I run and hide. If I'm at work and I pick up the work phone to talk, I always think of what other coworkers think as I talk to the person on the phone.

[@fransinclair3356]

I have more of an ocd thing about been self conscious the actual feeling itself. I’m not self conscious about anything about myself but fear the feeling. Kind of phobia of feeling self consciousness. There are days when I don’t feel any self consciousness and then I don’t care what anyone thinks but if the feeling comes then I care. If I don’t have the feeling I do t give a hoot what anyone thinks. So I think this is more of an ocd fear of the intrusive feeling even self conscious. It changes all the time from one thing to the other and even happens on my own so how can I be self conscious on my own no one is judging me

[@mangeshsapkal8936]

life changing video. 💕tnx sir

[@GetMoreConfidence]

Fantastic!

[@rovmrsl]

Maan just love the advice u gave the way u said it ♥️

[@GetMoreConfidence]

Thank you!

[@slothape]

Hi Aziz you helped me escape social anxiety a few years ago and everything changed. But its come back recently because of being indoors for so long, it sucks I guess it wasn't as a permanant a solution as I thought.

[@GetMoreConfidence]

It's always a journey. You can get it back!

[@stefaniakonstantinidou981]

Did he help with videos or books?

[@jasond626]

Cheers for the video man.. Appreciate that

[@GetMoreConfidence]

You're welcome!

[@mustafarazzaq2732]

Thank you!

[@jml2513]

I am obsessed with your videos. Completely. Oh, and for anyone who needs to hear this-I have "weird starved model arms" (chronic stomach problems and can't put on weight) And I am totally self-conscious about them and my entire body. All of the Gratitude for you and your channel ♡

[@GetMoreConfidence]

Great to have you here!

[@stefaniakonstantinidou981]

Try bone broths. Meat broths with veg. They r healing bc of glutamine. Go to a naturopath. Western docs don t know therapeutic of diet

[@christinex2950]

Hmm. I don’t know if I agree. The fact of the matter is people do judge. I judge. People I know judge. Of course strangers would never say something rude but people I know have told me if I have gained weight or don’t look good in something. I think the focus should be on not caring.. not trying to fool ourselves into thinking people don’t observe and judge.

[@kosmos4425]

You are fucking right man.... Self consciousness is affecting my confidence badly..... I don't know from where I trapped inthis self consciousness... Like a celebrity 😔

[@owencooper1360]

This was really helpful - thanks!

[@elizabethsantos6549]

I always feel self conscious around good looking confident men. I feel like I’m always beneath them

[@GetMoreConfidence]

This is a common reaction for both men and women.

[@venusoboyle]

I feel the same way as a woman but this is a dirty lie from Satan. Know your worth in Christ Jesus, He died for you, that makes you very valuable. Stop believing Satan's filthy lies.

[@Drstrange221]

Hello doctor I m an mbbs student I m hyper self conscious I fell socially anxious…. I feel it difficult doing my work in clg and hospital When I try to make eye contact my head shakes My hand shakes when doing procedures in front of my batchmates Kindly help!

[@GameTokin]

I have more than my fair share of self confidence issues. I've had a good few weeks though. I usually wear my hair pretty short. But it's much longer now and it has build my self confidence a bit. Maybe you just need a new look and feed into that energy of feeling good about yourself.

[@goptty]

You could do a video about guys whose hairline is receding , and how to deal with it. cause a large majority of guys are in that group

[@GetMoreConfidence]

Already did. A few of them actually. Here's one: kzbin.info/www/bejne/m6ucgmlvpMtmsKs

[@BobMarleyAppreciator]

1:04 😂😂 thanks for this, i was surprised at how accurate and funny this was

[@rubenzepeda7884]

i discovered ur channel like yesterday and i really like it you are awesome. Now i just wanted to share something cause i feel regrets on this, so last week i was walking to the gym on a path, there was nobody except that guy who was walking in front of me. the thing is that this dude just threw a cigarette on the ground and i didnt like it i think its so disprespectfull for the environment but i was so scared of telling him cause thoses type of things never end up well (he was much taller than me and quite older too by the way) so yeah i didnt know what to do so i did nothing and now i feel week i really wanted to beat the fuck out of him .

[@GetMoreConfidence]

He was certainly being inconsiderate, but your reaction seems out of proportion. Is there something that happened in your past that maybe amplifying your feelings in this situation?

[@rubenzepeda7884]

@@GetMoreConfidence yes its probably because i was bullied 4 years ago ( in highschool) i hate when peiple show disrespect. towards the environment or other people i guess im too sensitive

[@sageway479]

You’re life changing

[@itachikapitaji9055]

gonna expose my thing..will be back every month for the updates in the replies ..lets end whatever tf is wrong with me!

[@ryanmd615]

Thank you

[@GetMoreConfidence]

You're welcome!

[@sendnoodles5437]

Great content as usual. Man you really do need to make a full length video addressing the insane harsh beauty standards being propagated by social media and corporations ... I have several female friends with eating disorders who aren't remotely close to being chubby. I even had a girl stand me up on a date then a few weeks later she messaged me and told me it's because she hates her body so much and wants to lose weight before dating but she wasn't chubby either. And the girls that are a bit chubby act like they're land whales. I find chubby girls sexier than thin/muscular girls even though I'm a gym guy...but whenever I've told a girl I lover her curves she absolutely takes it the wrong way as though I've just implied that she's morbidly obese or something. It's tough on guys as well of course. I know the ones who need to hear this advice aren't the one's who'll watch your videos but I still think it would be very beneficial.

[@GetMoreConfidence]

Thank you for the idea! You're correct, these standards are really out of control.

[@kellyvessa4059]

Thank you. I am wondering if going outside will also help me decrease negative thoughts of comparing to others and thinking my self as superior than them because this things comes back over and over and I am going out and try to talk to people I am thinking if will go away.

[@GetMoreConfidence]

Go for it!

[@besteverdesigns927]

nice one man

[@_king_manuel652]

My self_conciousness I’m very pride to be a sinner and a visitor from the inside world “ . !

[@RavesLT]

It happens to me that people stare or eyes at me... I don't think they judgment but they some times stare at me, then I start feeling uncomfortable, maybe it doe to my outside look(I don't hate it, i don't put it on pedestal), but then I wanna spent less time outside

[@GetMoreConfidence]

Try this daily exercise: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Zqm4hniNjJaVl7s

[@daphnialxs3918]

I exactly have the same thing! And I don’t know of it is because of the way I look or maybe just the way I am (speak, say things…)

[@IsaacMartinezOfficial]

I like this video, cause I walk and move so weird sometimes and I am doing nothing at the moment and just am pissed at why I do this and even opening the car door then walking to the door of the gas station. Like idk how I developed this but it's annoying and imma give these tips a try

[@parshantsharma118]

Aslaamwalekum aziz

[@venusoboyle]

For me, I was picked on my entire life about my clothes, hair color, weight, buck teeth to braces, nose, first name, last name, everything. I was the focal point of everyone's attention even as an adult so yeah, I have serious issues with my appearance and dancing and now it's even worse due to age. I was Venus penis, Venus flytrap, buck tooth beaver, brace face, witches nose, coat rack, tooth puck, bean pole, bones, air head, dingy blonde, dittzy blonde. I was accused of having AIDS or HIV because I was so small. I was accused of being able to walk through rain drops without getting wet. I was accused of being the president of the itty bitty titty committee....

[@riteshpujari7036]

Hey ! Greetings. I'm already enough and dead tired, dealing with social anxiety and awkwardness. It's like living each day in hell. If anyone can help me out of this situation, please do consider helping me out. I need your help 😭😭🙏🏻

[@GetMoreConfidence]

This entire channel and everyone of my books are dedicated to helping you with this.

[@subodhmalekoo9502]

I am self conscious when i am besides some one. I am not able to get over it. Please help.

[@venusoboyle]

I am the same way. I am very self conscious, so I am very jealous around beautiful women especially when my husband is right there. I am even a Christian now and I know my worth and value in Christ but Satan works overtime to make us miserable here on earth in the flesh. Satan will use whatever tool he can to try to make people hate God or want to die.

[@Προκείμενον]

It gets a bit difficult if you were bullied for certain features or behaviors. Because it is more objective then and not only part of your imagination.

[@venusoboyle]

And that was my problem, I was directly picked on.

[@brilliantwriter4856]

Have you ever been hard on yourself

[@JolinHard]

LOL 1:12

[@amangadpale9284]

Why don't you find that video from your university??

[@GetMoreConfidence]

I will if I can.

[@jenniferg4297]

I get self conscious on my gapped front teeth , it is over 20yrs and I still got probkem and try hiding it

[@peacebird494]

Me too. I also have gapped tooth lol. And sometimes i also get self conscious unnecessarily

[@venusoboyle]

Gapped teeth and super cute.

[@maujo2009]

I call for the immediate release of those corky, silly high school videos of you in front of the camera 😋

[@GetMoreConfidence]

LOL

[@dude4173]

07:33 doesn’t this judgmental comment cause the very problem you’re trying to solve? Why are thin arms considered ‘weird, thin, starved model arms’? Better to refer to them as ‘thin arms’.

[@Rocksolid7777]

lol

[@myviews469]

Your fundamentally funny but with teens the turning on and off is not easy to do in fact this unwanted thought that race through your mind as they accumulate and leave you paralyzed to say, think, response freely or naturally. How can one redirect themselves successfully?

[@yolanda8246]

disliked

[@GetMoreConfidence]

Why?

[@yolanda8246]

@@GetMoreConfidence i’m sorry