English Indirect Communication: Master This, or Risk Being ‘That Person 👀'

[@secretsofenglish]

Have you ever misread a situation with people from England? Tell us in the comments below...

[@noligray5828]

When I first came over to this country, and the cashier asked me if I am all right, I thought that he really cares. :))) The same, when people asked me how I am, I thought they really want to know. :))))

[@noligray5828]

I was expecting, that if people do not want to do something, they will tell me: we don't want to do this. I was also expecting that people communicate using words: yes and no. (And I never heard of yes please, and no thank you before. For me it was always just yes and now). I never knew that there are so many expressions, that are meaning no: it may be difficult, it may not be possible. Also, I didn't know that if I give the answer that is not expected, I will be asked: are you sure (to give me a chance to comply...). Yes, I misread the situation many, many times, and I keep misreading... :)))

[@noligray5828]

UNDERSTATEMENTS. They confuse me sooo much. :)))

[@ruicardoso936]

I live in England 22 years ago , and you are the first person teach me all this confuse and useful things ...

[@52Alf]

You have explained it very well, but to understand those nuances we foreigners must learn it in England with an open mind, then we will feel comfortable in that society.

[@noligray5828]

Feeling comfortable in that society is not always easy...

[@philipadam7870]

I get your points, and the reason I find living in England so challenging. As a California native I struggle… maybe I’ve said too much too soon already? I doubt I’ll ever find it easy in England or get it right. Thanks for the information.

[@collinsmi43]

The English are quite capable of deliberately making it more difficult at times. Could be playful or could be to put someone to the test to see if they have what it takes to get into the gang

[@noligray5828]

i find it really challenging too...

[@BlueBlue23]

You are a blessing to humanity ❤

[@juliading1759]

So glad I found your channel. Love your videos. Thanks for teaching us English culture and more ❤

[@dr.gaosclassroom]

Thank you very much for this video!! I learned these lessons the hard way. It took me many years to learn a polite way to express my disagreement and probably made a few enemy on the way!!

[@Diego-uq3yg]

When I met my in-laws , we had dinner and they asked me if I needed anything with my meal . I am a chef and Italian so I tend to be direct … Instead of saying: please would you be so kind to pass me the …. I went for SALT ! Horror

[@noligray5828]

i can relate to this so much. :))

[@megiwpiegi773]

very interesting video, thank you :)

[@susanschultze4620]

I love your videos! I'm American, but my siblings and I were brought up with this Engliish approach in communication, and that's the style I am most comfortable with.

[@yamilehodson4362]

I am listening and open to learning, but I do feel it’s important to point out that generalizations can sometimes overlook nuances. For example, there are many English people who don’t always adhere to these rules themselves. While they may expect others to follow them, they can occasionally overstep boundaries or act inconsistently. Personally, I find it quite confusing at times when their words and actions don’t align, or when they say things they may not genuinely believe but think others want to hear. It’s a reminder that nothing and no one is perfect, and everything has its complexities.

[@secretsofenglish]

Of course, I point this out and other important factors worth considering in the little disclaimer in the description. Thanks for commenting.

[@Kitty-zm6ft]

Thank you very much Hannah. That was very useful to know.

[@Skyscrapers1]

Hello Hannah, your insights into English language customs are interesting👏 And your accent is really easy to understand for me, a non native English speaker. Is yours London accent?

[@secretsofenglish]

Neutral southern accent, not London. Glad you find the content useful! :)

[@noligray5828]

Very interesting that direct communication can be seen as uncomfortable, disrespecting boundaries an unharmonious. I am trying to understand, for years, why is it seen like that. Humans have the same, strong feelings and needs everywhere in the world. Or not?

[@leomattheos8676]

Yes we all need to protect and express our authenticity but we also need to avoid making mistakes and offend someone else or do not cultivate patience and respect because we do not know the local culture and we think people think and act the same way universally. For example if you want to gain A UK native citizen as client try to be passive listener as much as possible matters in UK. Yes the suggestive approach better than directive, very helpful any advice and comments we come through in your videos. especially people who do connect with local people at professional level and want local clientele while they are not native English speakers. The no native English speakers need to take into consideration those suggestions so they do not minimize the value of their work can offer or undermine a business //working relationship unintentionally. Thanks

[@noligray5828]

If someone says to me: it's an interesting perspective but let's look at it this other way, i find it dissmisive, insincere and passive agressive. While 'I disagree' I find open, sincere, brave and natural. :)

[@ramune7930]

so much hassle for pleasing a number of people.. just keep it simple be yourself who cares what other people think? most often they don't care about you anyway.. :)

[@Alsol-lr7tr]

Guy Ritchie does not portray communication or interaction in his movies as you describe it but it is also quite unsettling for England! 😁😉I like your videos.

[@secretsofenglish]

Guy Ritchie's films are a brilliant example of slang and witty, sweary dialogue. However, the motivation behind my videos is to help professionals, such as my students and coaching clients-not the criminal underground! Different lingo and approach.

[@Alsol-lr7tr]

@@secretsofenglish I understand. Although I have been to England many times, I never worked in the country and so it is interesting to learn the standards and customs used in a work environment compared to what we see in North America. Thank you for all the work you do.

[@noligray5828]

Is strong advice a command?

[@secretsofenglish]

From a boss, most times 'yes'.

[@noligray5828]

@@secretsofenglish But calling it a command, would be rude in English?

[@secretsofenglish]

@ Yes. We don't command our employees, that would be rude. Military people take commands, not everyday people in offices and so on.

[@noligray5828]

@@secretsofenglish But if strong advice means the same as a command, you do. Or I am not understanding something...

[@sa34zo5em]

In the meanwhile Middle Eastern folks in any setting: why aren't you married yet?! What are your parents?

[@ricardo2573]

I see your point in here , but have you considered that someone said this indirect formula might not see a clear objection and go on with his stand. Maybe it's just they don't want to be against said. I don't want to be mean, but I disagree.

[@secretsofenglish]

An English person speaking to another English person would typically understand this and get the point. However, if someone doesn’t 'get it' and 'keeps going', they might be met with more indirectness and vagueness until they finally catch on, or someone gets annoyed with them and then becomes direct!! By being indirect, we remain collaborative and open to other possibilities without being stubborn in our point of view.

[@noligray5828]

@@secretsofenglish Oh, so that's the way to make English people direct. Annoy them. :)))

[@noligray5828]

How strange. For me, one word answer is the encouragement for a conversation. And longer answer, especially avoiding words yes or no as an answer to a specific question, feels dismissive, artificial, cold and insincere. And very patronising. :)) So strange that people from different cultures reads the same things in such a different ways.

[@henryravier]

En Angleterre aujourd’hui, Mieux vaut apprendre l’arabe😂

[@DEMOCRACIA2022]

🤍 ❤ 🫰🏻