Enneagram: The High/Low Side of Type 6

Transformational Enneagram & Relationship Coaching
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Dr. Tom LaHue is a graduate of Florida Christian College. He holds 3 Master's Degrees including an MDiv from Liberty Univ. His Doctoral degree is from Grace College and Seminary. He is also a certified Marriage Coach. He and his wife Traci have been married since 1991. They are the proud parents of 5 children and 5 grandchildren.
#enneagram, EnneagramTypes, CliftonStrengthsFinder, PersonalityAssessment, self-discovery, Strengths-Based Development, Understanding Personality, Personal Growth, Enneagram Test Results, Unlock Your Potential, Mindfulness, SelfAwareness, SelfImprovement, LifeCoach, UnlockPotential, Motivation, strength, Relationships, love, soulmate, self-love, love yourself, intimacy, emotional connections, dating, communication, healthy relationships, true love, power of love, relationships, marriage, love language, love quotes, love tips, love and happiness, trust, love and relationships, love advice, unconditional love, happy, love, Myers-Briggs,

[@sherwinchia8114]

All us 6s are here to find security and support of each other but no one's going to believe what I tell them 😂

[@gene1593]

Hahahahaaha accurate asf.

[@UncleForHire]

"Maybe I can relax a little bit and maybe I'll be okay." This line is gold, took a deep breath and instantly felt better after hearing this.

[@llamadrama5]

I am a 6 and it’s kinda scary how accurate this is!! At first I thought I was a 9 because I am a peacekeeper but when I dug deeper I am definitely a 6. I always feels like there is a hidden agenda, I always research things and still come up doubtful, and I go crazy when someone makes me doubt myself after I’ve made up my mind! But I am very loyal to my Husband, my Job, and my family. This was very helpful!

[@yukiamijochi]

Hello ... Another 6 here ... Not to imbed it into ur mind if u are sure ur a 6 than great. Could also be the Cabin of the 9 tho •-•

[@leroyjordy9012]

a tip: you can watch movies on KaldroStream. I've been using it for watching a lot of movies these days.

[@shanemisael7401]

@Leroy Jordy Definitely, I've been using kaldroStream for months myself :D

[@johnnyscifi]

I thought I was a 3, until I found the description for type 6...

[@DeeDee597]

Im a 6 and also have social anxiety

[@angelaengle12]

As a 6, I like to think we are the German Shepherds of the human breed. Anyone who has had a German Sheperd knows they are a very anxious breed. They are always on guard duty all the time. Every noise or bump in the night freaks them out. Very protective and loyal. Being anxious is just part of their nature as it is for me as a 6.

[@TheDessadess55]

So true, my 6 husband is a lot like our shepherd. Kinda explains why their bond is unbreakable. Lol 😂 Not to mention my husband was always on guard for my nocturnal seizures each night as we first began living together.

[@melaD333]

That’s the most flattering description of us 6s I’ve ever heard. Thank you.

[@sierracrater4970]

I felt like most of this video was about the low of a type 6 rather than the high.

[@kimberlybosman3258]

I needed all of this information 20 years ago. Now I need to overcome my fear to reveal myself to people who I have always felt never understood me. I am grateful for your videos. I feel understood.

[@amandaarbuckle9264]

I have been living in the outhouse forever, but have been healing over the past 3 years. Slowly working my way to the cabin. ❤

[@10scdreamin]

This helps me understand my sister (6w5) better. She has always presented herself to me in a rather vague way-especially when she was stressed out. When I asked questions, trying to understand her situation & her frame of mind, she would hem & haw, never truly making any sense to me (9w8). I believe someone close to her has made her question her ability to come to correct conclusions, made her question her self-worth. So thanks for some helpful insights into her inner struggles.

[@enlightentheoccasion]

Wow this is so accurate for me. I definitely use my 5 wing more than my 7 wing. So I definitely need to learn more on how to use my 7 wing.

[@renesme4936]

I've read a lot about this, and this is the first I've heard about sixes pulling away (to succeed) in times of stress like threes. I saw myself getting arrogant like a three, but I didn't realize the isolation was also part of the disintegration. I've done that my whole life and never understood why, so thank you for sharing this. I'm still looking for help in getting rid of these six patterns in my life and the last few minutes were helpful.

[@LindaFager]

I wrote down the words of encouragement in the last 3-4 minutes of this to read every time I feel super anxious about something. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

[@anthonywilson7242]

So would a 6 type person be skeptical about what you're saying? Lol

[@Teddybeloved]

True

[@yukiamijochi]

Heyho ... I'm a counterphobic social 6 and yes ... I also worked with the enneagram everyday for some years now. And it's part of us questioning things ... So at least every second sentence of him I had 2 - 3 Scenarios and doubts ... Guess that's how it is

[@YEDxYED]

Any type could be skeptical about what he’s saying. I, for one save my skepticism for the end of the video because I sought this type of video out for help. My skepticism really only shows when something is brought to me; not the other way around

[@patrarus6097]

Very comprehensive and interesting. I am a 6w7, and that 7 part really does save me in many situations!

[@twlahue]

Glad it was helpful!

[@Wildchildgirly]

This is uncomfortable. Lol. Spot on with regard to 6s, I am seeing myself and my behavior in much of this. The one thing I wish you did differently was to spend more than 5 minutes on the integrated aspects of 6. I would like to know more about the high side of being a 6, instead of it being an after-thought.

[@joseyblessin4962]

Wildchildgirly Agreed, 27 minutes on the low side vs. 5 min on the high side...

[@twlahue]

Good point. I appreciate you pointing that out to me. Thanks.

[@rhondabryanthistlethwaite5351]

Google enneagram 6. Lots of facts and good information!

[@soniadi9105]

For me, these fears and anxiousness was the normal way, but lately i came to realise they are over the top, thanks also to you and your friendly obgective comments (from a non 6 's point of view). I feel i'm becoming more self conscious about my behaviours and your last encouragements and ways to overcome fear are much appreciated, they are not obvious to us 6s i suppose haha..Also I like the relaxed, friendly and humorous way of your talking:)

[@a.ham_antha7454]

This honestly did help because I am a type 6 and was working on a lot of homework and I got extremely overwhelmed and watching this video did get a little close to home with like how 6s act when under stress and whatnot but the last few messages to the 6s did genuinely help and I calmed down a bit so yea thanks :)

[@twlahue]

Great. Glad to help.

[@joshua_mckay]

My psychologist told me about enneagrams and she was pretty sure I was a 6. I took the test and she was right. After watching this video I'm realizing that it spoke very accurately to how I am.

[@taytay3347]

As a 6, this is spot on. Thank you!

[@laurenaspreyart]

I love the way you describe things. Using the cabin metaphors really helps paint a clear picture and it make learning about the enneagram even more engaging :) 25:40 also, hearing you ask those questions felt grounding. It’s the rational approach my dad takes with me to calm me down sometimes

[@Progamerjay100]

This was actually very helpful and very eye opening. Thank you.

[@Jessicaunarex]

Good breakdown of the 6. 6 is a number I long to learn more of, as I know there is more to them than just worry and stress. I have seen a 6 go to 3 where she would then begin boasting about all her past achievements at her past job as a means of trying to get people to respect and appreciate her. It never came off the way a 3 does it, but I felt more sorry for her when she was doing it, as it came off as desperate. I also wonder about 9's disintegration to 6, wherein I know one 9 who not only gravitates towards 3s and tries to emulate them (his integration point) but when something goes wrong at work he will engage in 'corporate speak' which seems very 6-like in siding with the system.

[@laurenaspreyart]

19:20- 19:51 there it is. You said said it. This is how I know I’m a six. I feel so called out 😅

[@lizindrajana2015]

Hey Doctor!!! I always enjoy your videos! Hope you have an amazing day!!!

[@twlahue]

Thanks! You too!

[@JChan89]

I am a 6 when I am supicious or scared. When I am happy I am a 7. People can tell when I am a 6 and feel like I am crazy or depressed. But when I am a 7 everyone wants to be around me. The reason I am a 7 is I am an INFP but I joined the army and over the 10 years I started to discover how corrupt and evil our world is. I want to warn people to be prepared and not be scared to search for the truth even if it''s dark. But the lesson I learn is that you need to switch to the other positive sides to help you not go crazy.

[@tolstoy431]

Again Thanx Dr Tom.....like to listen to all you have to say....AHHH seeking to someone and something to feel safe and secure......soooooo familiar with that. And again the solution to that is simple....If we only believe more in our own self and rely more on that.....

[@markkelley8067]

I remember breaking down and crying when I was 21 scared to death that I wouldn’t be able to make it as an adult on my own. In addition to modest preparation which I know is a 6 trait, I’ve learned to be very adaptable. This has taken a lot of self examination and many years. But the adaptability of a nine has been the key to more peace of mind. Getting my hands on the Riso enneagram book in my early twenties gave me a leg up. I’m hardest and most suspicious of type 3 because theirs are the unhealthy qualities I share when I’m unhealthy.

[@dezgrillz1833]

6 here - 3’s are the hardest for me too!

[@advisepremeds]

This is the most accurate video that explains me that I have ever seen. Just learning about Enneagram....wow. Mind blown. Finally finding "authorities" that my gut tell me are true. When I was a kid in the 70's, I always thought "alternative" stuff was "weird". It took me until 2010's to come back to it. Thanks so much.

[@somedonkus5406]

I came hear after I tested as a 6 and I feel like absolute trash now. What a garbage type. Scared, untrusting, schemers. I never thought of myself as such. I saw “defender” and thought, ya! I’m always sticking up for my friends and my beliefs. Makes sense! Turns out, not really. I’m just a doubt, fear, and anxiety wrapped up in a garbage bag.

[@daniellthornton4218]

That’s not us at all. Every type has a hidden motive and ours is fear. We are defenders of the underdog, loyal, creative, dependable, intense, present, etc. there are tons of great qualities about 6s. We are the most diverse group.

[@dawnaskey4975]

It's good to get perspective on how I am doing and feel that I am more balanced than in the past. I truly laughed about your comment that whether they see the glass as half full or half empty, they know that it's going to break! I can recall times where an audience was asked if a glass was empty or half full but I had first looked to see how close it was to the edge!

[@twlahue]

Nice!

[@karenelaine5528]

Youve totally hit the nail on the heqd

[@alejandrofernandez4529]

thanks man. deeply appreciated it.

[@KevinHelander]

Just wanna say 'THANKS'! (new guidance for misidentified as #1 type previously.)

[@twlahue]

Excellent!

[@amandachamberlain3169]

I'm new to this and still learning a lot, it does feel brutal to hear some of this, but I prefer directness. I have a lot to think about from this video. I'm definitely a 6.

[@tolstoy431]

Thanx AGAIN Dr Tom...for the specific insight for the enneagram type 6 ..Uptil now I guess I AM a 6 w 5.. Love to hear all from you good of bad doesn't,t matter. BECAUSE we all can learn from OR shadows!!!! That is THE Challenge although it is hard. All you said sounds very familliar but a bit less extreme. So I feel less under attack as you mentioned the so called wolf pack..... LOVE the way you speak. BUT I felt that way when i was younger.....So you can improve and try to look at of from above so to say....But IT,s hard sometime. Still VERY familiar with the PANIC button.,.. Especially very protective to loved once. For example we are two gay guyz living together and been married for 6 years...we moved last year and I am cautious according to our new neighborhood.....I tend to protect my man but i try NOT to be as defensive as I used to be.....And it paid off.... Neighbours are fine people. There was no danger. And then again you can,t possibly be Friends with anybody. IT,s fine as long as we are safe.,. Still have issues with groups of any kind, though....Never feel safe OR at ease in a group. The so called wolf pack lures from behind.....And always been very anxious to lose my beliefs or to lose authenticity. But this fear is the same things Tom!! Deep down , of all people I KNOW I Will never do something against my Will or inner soul.....I AM SURE i can learn a lot from your future lectures, Dr Tom Gr Hans......

[@MattB8030]

😆 its funny how accurate this is, my results came in a pie chart and 5,6 was a big part of my chart. Devious little creatures we are. And it is true, I don't trust y'all, hell I don't even know that I trust this ennagram. 🤣😂🤣😂

[@itsshayla]

I feel very attacked and stressed by this information 🥴🥴 like there legit is a reason to not trust anyone until proven otherwise ....but maybe it’s my ptsd

[@tolstoy431]

So try to get out of the out house. Not An easy task to achieve, But than again we have to learn especially from our weaker side

[@katherinecollins8109]

Brilliant my friend

[@ashleyching3166]

People who are too good to be true need to be examined carefully. Are there inconsistencies?

[@clairebender2937]

1:31 this is definitely how I’ve been with my social and friend groups right now

[@dennisjonker4804]

Excellent work. This is one of the most accurate definitions of Type 6 I've ever seen. And I do seem rather stuck in the outhouse. Time to get out. And Yes, 90% of my worries "are" ridiculous. I just don't want to risk falling to complacency and carelessness. So I guess a 6 should retain some measured neuroticism, to keep sharp. I guess that is alright.

[@rikki2326]

"I'm being really hard on sixes, aren't I?" It's alright, we can handle it. I just found out that I'm a six wing five last night, and I'm so relieved. I'd imagine a lot of us are in the situation where we see all of the risks and down sides to our own type, and know how damaging and dangerous our stressed state is, but don't necessarily see (or trust in) the way to fix it. Hearing a breakdown of how this works from someone else (especially in a no-punches-pulled tone) provides some much needed, trustworthy support.

[@twlahue]

Awesome, blessings.

[@mikekrzesowiak7944]

I'm a 6 w5 too!

[@annonymous6904]

Yikes this is on point.

[@pietrorusso9311]

Very insightful but unbalanced presentation of type 6. The positive part of type 6 started almost at the 28th minute of a 32,5 minutes video. The “half full” part of the glass got only 15% of the attention. It might give a negative view of a type which is as good as the other ones. Beside this critic, great content.

[@dachoist]

I'm such a 6 lol. I guess most of the time close to that 9 nirvana. But I definetely understand my paranoid breakdowns now.

[@laurenaspreyart]

Time stamps for myself 2:15 19:20 24:17 25:40 31:48

[@karendavidson6580]

I'm a 6 wing 7. My internal play song is Suspicious Minds by Elvis Presley 😄. Do you have any thoughts on how fear plays out in the 6's dreams? My dreams are scary and intense always being chased by that bear, lion, etc.

[@path-finder1]

Oh my ... 6 type makes such a GREAT friend! Loyal, trustworthy and quite in the know! However... In times like these with Covid19 issues everywhere... My dear 6 friend ( lives in MI) has stayed home now for about 9+ weeks straight ... Only went out for some fresh air once in a while, in the backyard. Had her Spouce get groceries... And scrubbed down EVERYTHING ... sometimes 2x a day! Even now that the virus has diminished and more things are opening up.... She still is overly cautious and most concerned about "following all the rules!", to a fault. Like there is some, "Covid19 PRIZE " for being the best " Covid Stay Inside Doer" ever! Ha! I'm a 4... And so think differently! Yet, I love my 6 friend nonetheless... And find it interesting to watch how she maneuvers through life.

[@candacelashae4236]

Wow! That's how I am!

[@anasazmi8554]

That part about being overly cautious about COVID-19 really hits home. Even though I live in a country that's successfully contained the spread of the pandemic, I keep worrying about the possibility of a second (or third etc) wave. I even entertained the thought of staying home for the rest of the year.

[@Msspidey100]

Odd being a 6 and an essential service worker. I've become very much about keeping people safe and doing the proper research on mitigation. Now that masks are mandatory in my region I had to hold myself back whenever people wear the mask under their nose or play with it a lot.

[@virginialmills]

Their internal guidance system is broken usually because of trauma.. they are analogous to the Orphan or the wounded orphan...

[@upnorthlife7037]

Wow…. This makes me hate myself even more. I wasn’t thrilled with my type 6 results so I came to KZbin to try to lift my spirits. This was first KZbin video about type 6 and wow, talk about feeling even worse. I don’t know how this video has positive reviews. Please be careful 6’s and do not listen to this.

[@rivermcquilkin4281]

VERY WERY VERY VERY WELL, thank you so much

[@licecollector8343]

I have bad OCD and that’s a bit what this some of this sounds like

[@jsievers]

I feel seen!

[@ru.m.6119]

My partner makes me run to the outhouse when he is sneaking around and being vague, when he is next to me I feel calm. He will never understand me as a 6.

[@farrahhennessey8607]

From initially thinking I was a 2w1, I finally landed on a tritype test that labeled me as a 612, and I've never felt so called out in my entire life. Security is #1 for me to my detriment. My husband ( a 4w5) is always asking me when I'll ever be happy because I'm ALWAYS worried and anxious about something. It was a deer in the headlights type moment because the answer is probably never. On the other side of this, I feel my anxiety has caused me to be prepared in situations financially that otherwise would have been catastrophic. Due to this, I feel as though no one will be there to make it better if I don't. It's definitely tough!

[@beachgirl9823]

I’m a 6 (from an informal test) and what I think is a 6 will make an excellent detective and prob should smoke week everyday to chill

[@EllieHeard]

Nah... that stuff stresses me out

[@mlopes326]

Well I’ve got 1/2 down. Time to become a detective.

[@GodSaveTheClothes]

#goals

[@AliTwaij]

Thankyou

[@user-xr9tt1to9l]

I’m thinking my sister is using a 7 or 1 then, as a 4w5 we clash terribly. Or she is a 7 using the 6 right now due to stress. I am totally opposite of a 7,9 and I know my sister and I are always opposite on everything! I have moments of being a 6. my anxiety. I need a plan for escape and run scenarios for worst case a lot. lol. And I like having emergency funds. But maybe thats my high 6 family upbringing rubbing off on me. hahaha

[@1053Master]

Whatever, you just don't understand the tactical advantage of the outhouse. They will look for me in the cabin first, then they will check the decoy outhouse...

[@jaidenbauza48]

I feel like this refers back to the paranoia…

[@rivermcquilkin4281]

wow man very very very very very very well

[@lanehalversen3876]

What to do, my 6 wife left me because of fears, and blaming me for her fears, a disintegration to 3. Now bunker down in a friend's basement. Any helpful ideas?

[@ambersmith9949]

I'm a 6 with the 5 wing.

[@sykoteddy]

I still haven't realized if I'm 6w5 or a 6w7. But maybe I'm pretty balanced, I'm 42 and are learning this now. I read somewhere that my personal goal is "Individual Stability", what a joke...

[@laurengraham9325]

I thought I was a 5, but I was professionally typed as 6w7. I think they mistyped me just because I'm hilarious like 6w7.

[@thesevenkingswelove9554]

imagine being INFP and also 6

[@realnuckinfutz]

That’s exactly what I am.

[@thesevenkingswelove9554]

@@realnuckinfutz same here lol

[@bethany9296]

Me too

[@steph7397]

Does anyone know what book he’s holding by any chance?

[@clearwater1686]

But just because I'm paranoid it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

[@robinperkins7623]

I HATE being a SIX!!!

[@Teddybeloved]

Hmm..maybe there is some truth to this but I don't too much care for it or I being considered mostly btw loyal and fearful as more so having a healthy since of skepticism until proven otherwise. People are naturally self interested and ambitious, want what they want for self sometimes at expense of another. Being to trusting in my life got me taken for a ride and forgranted. I can't entirely blame them for doing what comes natural, but at the same time having a eye on their motives. Too trusting in your imperfect parents, questionable leaders, overzealous and unbending god(s), etc. Without question is foolish. I say too God, for he even tested a man to choose his family or him in Bible and was gonna sacrifice his faithful, GOOD, son! So you damn right I have concerns and doubts when leaving it to another, no matter how pleasant, charming, funny, righteous, intellectual, shiny, or good one seems on surface. Maybe the harm they cause is minor, perhaps too intentional, but they must be monitored all the same. I bet he convinced himself it was for the greater good, and helped to know one would be blessed with greater fortunes. I respect rules & laws and just authority, but I remain aware when it is detrimental or selfish to not only self but everyone other than the perpetrator/leader. A decent 6 type would have necessary and healthy skepticism that most types could use. They not drinking the kool-aid(poisoned) everyone is on & yet still venturing out and doing what is necessary as too keeping others aware; however, a unhealthy one would probably be more paranoid and given to perceived threats & disillusion & starting unnecessary rebellions. Anyway thank you for your research into the 6 type psyche. Edited: I didn't get through the video before my previous response but now that I went further now I think you hit a nail or described a piece of my life when you brought up at work, or vaccinations. Until you got to politics in order to choose a side you must trust them, a stranger, self-serving man, woman, non-binary, genderfluid, machine, whom may or may not truly have your best interest at heart, or even being truly honest or well informed; have to trust someone else skills, practices, their statics. I or just cause everyone is jumping off a cliff, I should. My question is how did that go for them. Oh they are dead, sworn to silence, turned on each other, whoo saved by the bell. Hmm fearing conflict... not always or necessarily. However thinking they use knowledge or data gathered against me to remain in charge or know better, dismissing my views and trust their own & wanting me to do so yet couldn't do it for me, starting a rising against me with fellow family or social settings like a job, perhaps abandoning me at a pivotal moment when I was counting on ya, or putting me last when I put you. I don't think the sky is falling... wait was that a shooting star or a flying saucer, omg a doomsday device hurling towards the surface! OH GOD!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!! AH!!!!! GET TO THE BUNKER, NOW!!! Wait thats just a plane. Were good everyone, come on out. 😂 No really I ain't that bad.

[@ironosprey6149]

Cant believe i just watched a 30 min vid of some random dude telling me im a shitty person

[@Nora-yv8op]

:DDD enneagram in a nutshell

[@sultanpoppa3735]

Either I’m BPD with the paranoia, catastrophising and the splitting you describe, or I answered the assessment wrong. Or this system isn’t statistically supported like 5 Factor is.

[@izzlebeanie]

19:16

[@christinae30]

Maybe you could have focused more on how to get away from the "low place"? Now it was more of a list... of rather awful behaviour(!) I also think that a lot of the examples are VERY american.... It is not inevitable that a stressed 6 think of conspiracies, that's a cultural thing.... In my mind, as a 6, I think a lot of the problems come from our herding mentality - we want the best for the whole group, and to always look out for threats, but humans are not exactly like sheep, and then we get confused (especially when unmature): We think everybody should want what we want; the best for all, and when people have their own agenda (not hidden!) we r e a l l y don't understand. Of course with our head we get it, but not with our feelings. Along the same lane the thing that everybody doesn't want the same thing baffles us! There the endless questioning starts, because we can get it with our head, but our feelings keep shouting: "everybody wants fresh green grass, good water and no predators - What's wrong with you?!" Also this herding mentality, I think, makes it harder for us to know what we want, and should do; because the focus is always on the good for the group. And when the sheep (sorry, the group) don't appreciate our endless work for them, we feel lost, scared, and after that, betrayed, which gives that unforgiving we/them- anger. The thing is, I think, to realise that you don't have the responsibility even if you are the only one who notice the threat. You can just inform people if they want to listen. Nobody will hold you responsible except you. Our detached overview of the best for the whole group is needed I think, because even the best leader can, and should sometimes, go only on their feelings; and there we are, saying: - yes, that lush moutain overthere seems perfect, but 1, we need shoes because of the gravel road, 2,... 3,... - 17...😁

[@glendamcgee1779]

Let's you know he thinks not being vaccinated is neurotic.

[@TheHeroesHeart]

Tbh this was unnecessarily harsh and very invalidating. Consider altering your approach if you want people to really listen to your advice.

[@ammarkhalil34v]

hahaha