When is it a good idea to live with my girlfriend? What is competition anxiety?

[@vinny4411]

before moving in with a woman or getting married, every man should sit in on family court proceedings for a week...

[@FrenchSaladMac]

vinny hey how do you find out when one is held?

[@nycwizrd8348]

Spot on Lol

[@captrodgers4273]

@@FrenchSaladMac ANY LOCAL COURTHOUSE

[@paulwilson7622]

Information that is unknown before cohabitation

[@NigeloWalker]

This probably saved me so much time, energy and money. Almost moved in with my girl. Thanks Rich you are a true older brother.

[@tapatiosweb]

damn man, you are one of the lucky few who learns from other's experiences, good 4 u.

[@diax14]

Bullet dodged. And I'm here taking notes of alll the mistakes to avoid in the future. Thanks to all of you guys! Improving myself everyday.

[@yasinpatel12345]

yes, you've saved thousands of dollars and more in stress/time. good on you!

[@tisastill]

I've already written a comment saying that sometimes living together works and is a good progression of a relationship when two are serious about each other. However, if you were having doubts about your woman, then I'm sure you made the right choice. I think most people can usually tell when something isn't right for us.

[@Nina-hk7ub]

It's a waste for the woman too. Just sold my house for $1.4m. I had all the down. He wasn't happy & didn't have the balls to tell me. I ended up in that bad relationship way too long.

[@east2west2wheels]

Do not buy a house together with a girlfriend! God I've been down this road! Great video!

[@luxuryqueen42]

Christian Pelham only buy a house if you're married

[@jwigley3835]

Uh, that's the exact opposite of what a man should do. The best thing to do would be to sell your house before marriage and put your assets somewhere else that isn't co mingled and have a prenuptial that protects the assets that you earned before the marriage. Better yet, since a prenuptial isn't bullet proof, it is better to never get married at all. Marriage is a dead custom with crippling financial consequences. With divorce rates over 50% and with women initiating 70 - 80% of the divorces, it is a very risky contract to sign when you sign the marriage license. The odds are that you will get divorced and depending on which state you live in, you have a high likelihood of losing everything you worked your entire life for while your ex gets to maintain the same standard of life and has the court remove your children from you. That is what happens in the majority of marriages these days.

[@Xbot4Life]

regardless of how you feel about it, many of us still get married for cultural or religious reasons, in my case, religious reasons. So I just have to be VERY careful and pick my wife very very carefully.

[@jwigley3835]

Good luck with that. You'll understand what we're talking about at some point.

[@Xbot4Life]

J Wigley I'm not stupid , I understand what you are talking about NOW. Pray for me that I find the one.!!

[@stewmacgregor3617]

Learning/Understanding these concepts at 22 has been a heaven sent

[@brunomorenosap]

Same! I learnt this early and now I am 31 years old, single and with an amazing life 😊

[@mozilla82]

A friend of mine landed a really nice job in Panama City a few months ago and literally a month later, he gets together with an old girlfriend who just had a kid with some other guy! A few weeks ago, he invited her to move in with him. As a friend, I expressed my concerns on multiple occasions but to no avail. It's like watching a ship sink in slow motion and I cant' do anything about it.

[@jwigley3835]

It happens. It sounds like your buddy has low self esteem. Just be there for him when it all comes crashing down.

[@evanserickson]

You can't save someone from themselves. If you try to help him he will just resent you

[@mozilla82]

Yeah I got that impression. Needless to say, we don't speak anymore.

[@yasinpatel12345]

you did the right thing, voicing your opinion and logic towards the situation. You did what every good friend should, hope all goes well for you brother.

[@qmulus1]

She probably saw him get that good job, felt competition anxiety and started humping his brains out.

[@aquariusgirl8454]

Hate to admit it, but ur right! Makes me work harder so he wants want ME more than anyone else.

[@giovannicorraliza4393]

@@GoogleUser-wy2vv but why not have Mind blowing sex daily?

[@macioluko9484]

Your honesty is quite refreshing!

[@iammaximus614]

A keeper.....indeed Once both parties lay Aside their selfishness

[@solhamer3502]

That's screwed up. I'm not judging YOU, and your honesty is appreciated; but why's it all about competition? Why can't you(/one) just love one person objectively and forget about other people altogether?

[@salvaahthesageofficial2457]

@@solhamer3502 you still have a lot to learn. The world is ruthless, everything is about competition Women want men who have multiple options

[@Glass088]

Law 16 - Use absent to increase respect and honor Like money, to much in circulation makes the price go down. The more she sees you, the more common you appear, thus less sex. Create your value through scarcity. Plus who wants to deal with common law marriage?

[@AndyHoward]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

[@micwell2247]

Does this work also when trying to date a person ?

[@jwigley3835]

I believe so. Not in all cases but in many. You have to be valuable to the other person for this to work. My ex (who was spiteful and vindictive) tried to be "scarce" in an attempt to manipulate me. I just left instead.

[@MarcMan901]

Makaveli The Don you sir, are The Don. Facts

[@user-um7tw6kx4r6]

*Machiavelli

[@dont6441]

I've been divorced twice and know first hand what Rich says in this video is 100% spot on. Now I'm in in a 5 year relationship where we don't live together and don't jointly own anything. We see each other once or twice a week. It has been fantastic, never gets boring and we are both free to leave whenever we want but we don't. I will never get married again or move in with someone. That is a relationship and desire killer. Women get bored in a marriage much faster than men do. Keeping your lives separate keeps things exciting. Competition anxiety is real.

[@proba78]

Would you consider moving in when you’re in your 60s?

[@victorashul]

Sex stops much sooner than marriage or moving in together if she gets the hint that you love her. If she feels she has the hook on you, than it's over because she doesn't feel the need to put in the effort anymore..

[@jkumadapharaoh8514]

vkt exactly.

[@stevenkrupka3670]

What HO%%$HIT!

[@JetSpencer]

Distance creates longing. Without distance there is no actual time for her to miss you. Relationships where the man is required to spend days away from the home may actually be beneficial to the long term health of a relationship.

[@heyhuda56]

Jecht Spencer 200% accurate

[@rynoh1294]

No 'may' about it. Totally true. :)

[@MeganGarzaWellness]

Jecht Spencer I can second this as my boyfriend spends a month or so away on business. There is no better feeling than picking him up from the airport after that time away!

[@GenericInternetter]

Jecht Spencer you’re right! My ex actually used to say this while we were living together!

[@TopFlightSecurity415]

yess..that why im not in hurry to move in with my girl because i know i would get tired of seeing her everyday lol, days without seeing her makes it better

[@belowthetamaracks]

Esther Perel's discussion on desire is a great way to cover this topic to other women. Living with someone, the day to day habitual obligation nonsense, definitely kills desire. Live apart, plan the time together, anticipate it and f-ing enjoy each other

[@marcuslewis5719]

that is a loser azz mentality coming from people who have serious trust issues...face it people have hidden agendas... best way to vett them is to live with them in all the seasons of the year...if all is well and healthy, take the plunge and get married...put all real estate assets in a trust before you tie the knot....trusts are impervious to ex spouses and way better than a prenuptial agreement....never take relationship advice from single people..especially men...really!!!!!!!!!

[@belowthetamaracks]

@@marcuslewis5719 Hi Marcus, I agree with you on getting feedback from a lot if different people. It's lousy, but a lot of people have serious trust issues. Since I made that post, I've entered a relationship, moved in with a man who had some fair concerns, and had a child with him. It's involved a lot of conversations! And desire - not love, but desire - is something that does require intentional cultivating.

[@bitcoindaddy748]

very important thing in my opinion is that if you decided to live with a woman (to test her as a wife of course) is that she always understands one thing : it's not that you are living together, it's she is living in your house. In this case she understands that you are in control of a situation not her, and you will get what you want.

[@GenericInternetter]

I agree, the sex dies down bigtime after living together for 6-12 months. The “together but living apart” thing is awesome - i’m surprised i’d never thought of that before.

[@drewmantia]

I’ve lived with two different girlfriends for a total of 6 years and I was the one that lost sexual interest first. You’re a risk in this too, not just her.

[@dariusandrews4490]

I've lived with 5 women!.. And always want to sleep with almost litteraly any woman other than the one I'm living with.. Ive never had a woman to hold out on sex but it doesn't matter when youre not in to it. Tack on the fact that you cant really check out porn when living with a woman get the fantasy of someone else... Yo it sucks... Its day in and day out of listening to things "I" dont find interesting and paying for stuff I would never really buy..every time

[@woodside4life]

@@dariusandrews4490 Funny, I’ve experienced the same sensation. I guess it’s that old adage of “familiarity breeds contempt”.

[@abk1424]

agreed

[@Amero2323]

Same exact thing happened to me. My ex was an objectively pretty girl and I wasn't attracted to her at all.

[@Brian-lb7nn]

My recent experiences confirm competition anxiety and I love it. I was in a LTR 13 yrs. She moved out division of assets was appropriate to me and her. We kept seeing each other for about a year. I felt that I was not getting all of my needs met. Let her know I would not be sleeping with her any more and would be seeing other women. What a great move, I tried to keep the door open she said she did not want to be the consolation prize. My response Ok then we are done done. A week later she asked to re-frame that. Three days later wild ass crazy monkey sex. She knows I am seeing and sleeping with other women. She asks questions and tries to out perform them. She refers to them as my harem. She works hard to be my top girl. Things she would not do when we were living together she volunteers to do. Learn the program work the program. Life is good and I am being so completely honest I almost feel guilty.

[@66kaisersoza]

The power to walk away is underestimated Well done my man!!

[@Electronite1978]

Was dating a single mom with 3 kids for 1,5 years. She is very cute and we share a common hobby. She was a nice person and cared about me. On the negative 3 kids. Broke. No career plans or real ambition. I have a good job, am smart, quite good looking, educated and have a good character and my aim is to be the version of myself. She would have been eager to live with me but I had to decline as I cant afford to pay 500-800 euros extra/month as my goal is to get me a flat. She was not happy about it. When she decided to kick me out of the relationship I understood that I could have had lost (invested in her) something like 5000-10000 euros if I had moved in with her. All that money would have gone into waste. This just makes me even more certain to put my needs and goals first no matter what kind of woman I date. Relationships tend to end at one point or another and at that point all you have to show is what you have invested in yourself.

[@mrnpc2323]

It's true. I used to tell women I was seein that "a girl from the gym kept flirting with me or I'll see what my friends are doing" when they tried to cancel dates or were "too tired" to do anything but sit on their lazy ass. It worked they'ed get all dressed up and get all excited to see me, but a part of me died because I realized if I didn't continually play mind games they'd stop putting in effort. These women are NOT worth the effort. Instead find a hobby or a craft and get good at it! Travel the world or purse your dream. Hell do all of it because pursuing women is nothing but an energy and time suck without any ROI Mgtow for life 💪🏻

[@qmulus1]

Google User What’s weird about not wanting to play games with people?

[@lagroad]

"you sound like you'll be alone - forever" that is a shaming tactic he talks about in a video, congrats, you are a by the book woman. Also there is nothing wrong for men to be alone, this has been a long time projection by woman because a woman ending up alone is a lot worse.

[@qmulus1]

Google User Attractive people have opinions. There’s no escaping that fact. There will always be competition and game playing. It gets old after a while.

[@qmulus1]

Google User You’re right. Other qualities should be included in a person’s mating choices. However, physical attraction is important. Contrary to what many women believe, most men’s tastes can run the gamut. A woman does not have to be a centerfold, runway or Instagram model to be considered attractive. However, she does have to be considered physically attractive TO THAT PARTICULAR MAN. You’ll never hear a man say, “I thought my girlfriend was butt ugly and smelly when I first met her, but now that I know her, she’s a dime.” Speaking for myself, I could never hack into my brain and decide to feel attraction for any woman I wanted. I doubt anyone could. If that were the case, no one would be single (except by choice).

[@Roscoslayer]

No gain, all liability....Don't do it!!

[@GQ-yj5oy]

Competition anxiety is definitely a thing. If a woman feels threatened she will be so good that you won't be tempted to look elsewhere, even if she doesn't really want you, she won't want anyone else to either! Maybe not all women but most of them.

[@Bromzain]

The competition anxiety idea is an interesting one, because at 37 (38 this January), after having relationships/sex since I was 17, I've experienced woman who even after long-term relationships, still wanted me, and others who didn't quite so much. I've been in a relationship where the sex was still incredible, and still almost every day after 3 years in, with her doing most of the initiating, and I've been in relationships where the sex was all but dead by that time, and in both cases I cohabited, and always gave very solid impressions that I did not cheat, and wanted to remain in the relationship. But I believe that goes to show that a lot of these lessons can change depending on the people, as well as the life circumstances.

[@robgoren8628]

I was in an awesome LAT (Living Apart Together) relationship for over a year. Then I moved in with her, and it was over in a month. A man's love is fuelled by connection. A woman's love is fuelled by protection/provision, and once she feels like she's secured that from you, her lust drops off precipitously.

[@e3xiii315]

Absolutely nailed it. I love the together but living apart relationships. I enjoy my alone time and making my own decisions. I like having the time to think about him and miss him. As in every relationship their might be living habits that your partner has that you don't agree with that would otherwise ruin your live in relationship. Living separate limits that tension. Unless​ you are a person​ who just doesn't know how be alone, living together really isn't required to have a successful long-lasting happy relationship.

[@shazlikd]

+Ebony Everette "Living Apart Together" - spot on.

[@Amazingday22]

I agree with you

[@SCF_1989]

@drewgeee But don't you think that looking from the female perspective, it's only natural she'd want you to commit to marriage? In a way, she's doing what she's supposed to do. Not spend time with a man that won't marry her and provide for her. Not to say ofc that it was a bad decision from you. I am sure it was a very wise decision. 99% of the time, it is.

[@dr.dermixgirlmd7479]

Mr. Nice Guy- 100% agreed. She did the right thing _for her_ . She wants to get married. She’s allowed to want that. You don’t, you’re allowed to want that too. Be happy she didn’t stick around hoping to change your mind.

[@TheDipset1233]

@@SCF_1989 you are right

[@matt1315s]

I have never lived with a girlfriend. My dad told me that unless your getting married dont do it. I only know one couple that live together and are not married. You see the way that they look at each other and your like ok I see it. Which is very rare these days. My grandparents looked at each other the same way even at the end. My grandparents were together for over 70 years. Great video as usual!!

[@jwigley3835]

That way of thinking died over the past 40 years. It's a sad thing to realize later in life but crucial to understand so that we don't make the massive financially devastating mistakes that most of our parents made.

[@matt1315s]

Very true J Wigley. I know I wont make that mistake. I'm 26 and I see a lot of my friends settling down and I worry about them. I dont want to see them in 5 to 10 years realizing that they married the wrong women. Then going through a divorce.

[@a4sinha]

J Wigley "... divorce rape the husband" - LOL. I nearly shit my pants laughing.

[@jwigley3835]

Haha yep. I laughed when I first heard of the term too but I find it to be an accurate description of what has been happening to men for decades now.

[@davideagen8653]

Rec Erection, TRAVEL....you want to see how people really are travel with them. I do NOT mean going to some resort, I mean go on a road trip and travel to various places with different circumstances and people. The more varied the situation. methods of travel, where you stay (high end AND low end) will show you what they are about and they can't hide it!

[@jahreigns888]

Please listen to this man. Cohabitation creates problems. You do not want her becoming too familiar with you. I would tell ladies the same. If he is not putting a ring on thst finger then don't move in with him. A girlfriend is not a wife. Don't play house.

[@stevenkrupka3670]

Great point

[@danbruno5945]

Living alone Career Dating Holidays My happiness ☀️💜

[@peterburd2410]

I meet a girl a long time ago that I liked she would come to my place and spend the night on the weekends after spending the night on weekends only for about one year. somehow we decided to just live together the first 2 years were 95% Good then the next 3 years were just ok about 70% then 2 years after that we just got really bored of each other and annoyed with one another and everything dropped down to 40% to a point where we decided we couldn't live together anymore

[@Felipedecarolli]

how old you guys were? and why decided to live together?

[@mickeyturner5677]

This sums up the sexes view on marriage and living together: For women, it grants rights without responsibility. On the other hand, for men, it grants responsibilities without any rights. Can you see why women want marriage and living together so bad and why men rightfully should want to avoid marriage and living together!You have my permission to use this in a video.

[@bmf136]

Unfortunately, I found this out the hard way. I'm happy to have found this channel ams a few others that have helped me to see things for the way that they really are.

[@FC-xc3zy]

What rights you have as a husband? Please tell me

[@romeojuliet8462]

He clearly said as a man there unfairly isnt any

[@iammaximus614]

“There was No Way to Compromise, so now We’re living... ...Separate Lives.” -phil collins

[@whitama2]

Competition anxiety- It's completely true; it's not even something we are necessarily consciously aware of, but it definitely exists. I love the simple, bold talk. Thanks for another cool video!

[@MrHav1k]

My MGTOW mentor speaking the truth!! I needed this slap in the face of reality.

[@captrodgers4273]

All true! every live in relationship ive been in turned into a weird twisted humiliating dance of obligations over time. its a cruel fate to suddenly realize your love for a person has turned into shackles that will have an insane and astronomical price for breaking free of them.

[@nickclayton1935]

always try to find a some gain no loss situation (AKA win-win) moving in as "taking things to the next step" is not one of those situations.

[@hexflex-q9l]

Thank God I found you and Rollo when I did. My ex tried to use the excuse of saving money and hint that we should co-habitat. I asked myself the question, "would I eventually marry this chick"? The answer was no and i broke it off three weeks later. My old self would have believed that saving money would have been a great idea and "testing" our relationship was worth trying. Those ideas are crap, thanks guys, you saved me a lot of misery. Next....

[@marcuslewis5719]

alot of these relationship gurus are loser azzes that serious trust issues...face it... people have hidden agendas... best way to vett them is to live with them in all the seasons of the year...if all is well and healthy, take the plunge and get married...put all real estate assets in a trust before you tie the knot....trusts are impervious to both current and ex spouses and way better than a prenuptial agreement....never take relationship advice from single people..especially men...really!!!!!!!!!

[@boriscoleman8634]

I dated a a girl for 2 years then we moved to a new city and got an apartment together.....A broken lease and an eviction later. I learned my lesson.

[@eperot]

Truth! Hear me brothers, the moment your girlfriend moves in is the moment the relationship starts dying. If you aren't in it for children and family, you should just stick to casual dating. Good way of looking at competition anxiety is this: When does a relationship feel the hottest? Right at the beginning. Why? Because you both know each person can leave at any time for any reason. As soon as you start putting rules on the situation and removing the freedoms of the other party, the party is over.

[@WarHammer1911A1]

I wish you would have made this video 2 years ago...I kept my house though.

[@iamsaztak]

Couple disclaimers, I am a woman and I have experienced decreased sex-drive once moving in with a boyfriend. I see the same behavior in many other women, and ofc I can't speak for all women or all situations. First off, there's this odd sort of 'backwards' situation going on for women. The closer a man gets into her life, the more dependent she becomes on him. This dependency is viewed very harshly by society, and women feel a lot of shame for 'needing' a man. However, many women would LOVE the 'traditional' family, where marriage means till death do us part, BUT a lot of fear was pushed into the culture. Fear of an abusive man, fear of a man who mistreats them, and on top of that, fear of being completely fucked if she choses to value her own safety over her marriage. This is how feminism became so dominant, women terrified of being abandoned when they are at their most vulnerable. Men have this too, don't get me wrong, but women's power DECREASES over-time, while men have the capacity to INCREASE their power without reducing their 'sexual success'. Women have to 'give up' a LOT of power to pass on their genes, while men just need a willing pussy, and society does the rest for him. Obvs, boys with good fathers are more likely to be successful in their life, but men physically do not have to think about those kinds of ramifications. Women, by the nature of their biology, MUST consider the long-term ramifications of their choices, due to the nature of human sexuality/etc. Because of this, the modern western woman has increasing anxiety when intimacy increases. Sure, men can lose everything, but there's not nearly so much negative shame attached to getting married. There's the usual jokes, but when 'we' think of a successful man, being married with kids is usually one of the main characteristics that come to mind. Women are taught very confusing lessons that contradict themselves. It's incredibly rare for there to be a woman who can "have it all", or at least, to be happy with it. But if they aren't happy, they are going to cause problems in the relationship which makes everything worse. And they feel like they SHOULD be happy with having "it all", but they just can't, and things turn to shit. I've mentioned it before, but female happiness is deeply dependent on their comfort. Sex is fine when there is a 'comfy' emotional barrier. If you aren't living together, there's less commitment, so it's fun, and they are able to relax more. But once you move in, suddenly they have to face their desire for more intimacy, and their fears regarding what we've been taught about what it means to be a "good woman". So the defenses go up, female comfort decreases, and she's less open to sex. it's not that there's a problem with moving in together that causes this. It's the conditioning of society. And it's intentional. They WANT the traditional family to crumble, so they're going to target women and make them fear intimacy, and make them fear their inner desires. Women WANT to open themselves and devote themselves fully to a man. The problem is that it's a HUGE commitment of our entire LIFE. Men don't understand how massive of a choice it is, and how much the burden of that choice weighs on women (especially throughout history). The more a man can help a woman relax, the more successful the relationship will be. No matter what stage in intimacy, closeness, or commitment. The hard part for men is helping a woman relax while still being true to himself. The hard part for women is learning to trust, not just the man but also her own judgement, and to be honest. Society does everything it can to confuse people because confused women leads to shitty relationships, which leads to men who feel frustrated and aimless. I don't think we necessarily need a partner in our lives to make us happy. But on a society level, happy couples are key to stability. Whatever helps the individual, imo, will be good for society. So even though I don't quite agree with your perspective, I do appreciate your efforts to help people understand the madness of relationships! And I think you do a good job teaching people how to focus more inwardly, which is great! Thanks for sharing your perspective!

[@vitaminjtuber]

I appreciate your point of view, but I'd have to disagree. In my experience with women, it's anxiety that drives them. I work in psychiatry and anxiety drives most people. The anxiety of death makes you get up in the morning to make something out of your life. The anxiety of losing your man makes you try to keep them around, simple as that. As much as we shouldn't, humans often and continually make decisions based on what we are anxious or scared of, rather than what they want. This is the human condition.

[@nicetalkintoya]

My ex-gf demonstrated a lot of what you said. Fear of "co-dependency" (aka intimacy), confusion and shame about being a "good girlfriend" (she sincerely questioned why she was unable to devote herself to the relationship and stand by me). I think you have shared a lot of insight about why many women act the way they do in relationships, about why things "turn to shit," sometimes seemingly out of nowhere. Thanks for your thoughts. I think you're correct that women need to feel relaxed, comfortable and secure in a relationship for it to work; but they need to bring that, not expect to get that. The quickest way to lose your soul is to try to complete someone (man or woman). The truth is no relationship or object can fill the emptiness. Nobody can save another (psycho-emotionally). It's not anyone else's responsibility to make anyone feel anything. All of the answers to our problems are ultimately found in ourselves (and, for some, in a higher power). If a man and woman can achieve that level of self-realization and self-reliance, then they have a real shot at a healthy and fruitful long term relationship, a true partnership. However, it is not common for anyone to reach that level, let alone both parties being on roughly the same page at the same time. As a result, the majority of relationships are fear-based. Blaming the opposite sex in anger is not really going to help (in general; not directed at iamsaztak). Time is better spent making oneself happy by being the best version of oneself possible. This life is so short. We shouldn't waste the gift of this existence with a bitter victim/entitlement mentality or giving away our power to fantasies about, "when I get there or posses that, then I'll be happy." Better to be happy now, in our own skins, with what we have. "Attitude of gratitude," they call it. We become prisoners of our own rigid thoughts - the "conditioning of society" you speak about. There should be empathy and compassion in that understanding, because we're all subject to it. However, like the bard said, "there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Our egos don't like that, but it's true. The greatest revolution and purpose is overcoming that narrow social conditioning and becoming our truest selves. We're not here to merely play a particular role (wife, husband, father, mother, etc.), but to be free and whole human beings without crutches.

[@DS-cp3fg]

That's a good comment. Thumbs up.

[@adidell]

crocket ^THIS!

[@DS-cp3fg]

Good to see a females perspective. Thanks for comment. Good on ya.

[@ducaalea1918]

Brought the book through your link. Thanks for the material you put up.

[@caliwrestling2015]

Preach brotha! Keep saving men's lives.

[@matthewmontalvo5066]

I’m just soaking up lessons. Me being in my early 30’s these are pure gold. If you’re lonely get a dog makes pretty sense all you got do is walk them feed them and they can’t take half your shit

[@agirlyman]

A year lease is a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things I bet most men wish they could get off that light LOL

[@myyntisuurvisiiri]

I changed my mind, I liked this video after all.

[@MrTeamspeedy]

Bought the rationale male and it's an interesting point of view and unplugging from the world. With a year before college begins for myself, gonna be interesting using this information throughout life, and glad I fought it, because even at this age, some of this information I wish I had before my relationship.

[@VoiceOfThe]

How is your college life planning out after reading The Rational Male?

[@gameongameparty3590]

A lot of truth to this one. The minute a female thinks she has you to herself and that you are not going anywhere The hamster in between her ears takes a nap/crap. And all the indoor Olympics slowly come to a halt. Suddenly, it's not realistic to have pornstar style sex on a daily basis when it was very realistic just a few weeks prior. This vid extremely true and spot on. If you want somebody in your life who's just a companion and you can pass newspaper back and forth in the morning with then go ahead and move in with her. If you want pornstar sex keep a separate residence and keep her wondering

[@plinkbottle]

Its not only the woman who loses sexual desire. Living together has a calming effect on the man as well... He may go from a lone wolf living alone with no close contact with people, to a calming intimacy on a daily basis, intercourse or not. The confidence may even make other women seem more attractive.

[@coloradom1009]

This is probably the best advice anyone could give young guys who are blinded by all the action they are getting from a new girlfriend.. once he moves the girl in, he cock-blocks himself and doesn't even realize it. I think it is also sound advice not to get involved with a female roommate that you were previously platonic with. This falls under the "don't shit where you eat" rule... I think couples should maintain separate residences even if they are long-term/permanent. So much fewer headaches and much less liability with this arrangement.

[@Decadencemaster]

The competition anxiety part is so true. I literally thought that was just my experience. My girl used to make such a fuss about me. Try and see me wherever she could. Compliment me, gift me. Tell me she'd had other offers but she wanted me. And then after a few months of her forcing her way into my house. She didn't move in with my permission. She stopped all that and started focusing on what she wanted for herself, and what she wanted from me. Regardless of if it affected what I wanted for myself.

[@nickwelchoff4677]

You’re spot on Rich. Once her name is on that mailbox you cannot kick her out. Trust me it’s a nightmare

[@mackaready1]

Richard, same age as you, divorced also with kids..I look forward to listening to your videos everyday as I recognize the value in them. Thanks brother, keep it up!

[@katherinekelly6432]

I'm not sure about the competition anxiety but I can offer truths that women know that they rarely admit to men. These are the secret conversations that happen between women. The first secret is once we move in with you that is when we start disliking you (nagging). It is not your fault but the simple fact that you are different because you are men and this gets on our nerves. Familarity breeds contempt but at the same time the insecurity of losing you to another woman may make her keep a close eye on you which further adds to the already building resentment because now she has anxiety added to annoyance. Sex changes from a want to, to a have to. Stranger danger makes for the best sex when combined with the comfort and trust of the known. Move in together and the stranger danger disappears and you begin to remind her of her brother. Every couple I know that moved in together ended up relating to each other like roommates. IMO men and women living together under the same roof is not natural if you want to KEEP what is making you consider moving in together in the first place. In the past when three generations lived together under the same roof and people had several children than a man and woman could live together because they rarely WERE together but a one on one relationships where there are only two is deadly to the relationship. In that type of relationship each person drowns in the other. It becomes suffocating because all you have is each other.

[@danbruno5945]

Lol I have a long term partner and a child who is 5 ,together 10 years. Always lived apart we never even spoke about living together because we both like our own space. And because we live separately I can give her some child free time so she can recharge her batterys and vice versa.

[@Sss-vs7pu]

This is so hilarious, man. I am going through this exact same thing. I planned on looking thoroughly and carefully into getting a place with my 23 y o girlfriend. We had great sex, we have tons of fun in general, we enjoy a lot of the same media, we make each other laugh to the point of suffocation all the time and even to this day. She wanted me to move in with her, to help her move out of her parent's house. My plan was to maintain dominance in the relationship while we slowly integrate a language and system of communication that was conducive to resolving conflicts and securing each other's dignity and power in the relationship while we looked -carefully- for a good living situation. Another way to look at it was that we weren't ready, and she would have to grow up a little and quickly if she wanted me to do that. My position was a little closer to "why not, because I have set precedent that our relationship must make complete sense from a commitment standpoint, and I won't waiver from that position. I just want to be the authority in the situation". Well, as with many other things that involve "adulting" (I freaking hate that word but it's apt here), she used her desperation for something she wanted to manipulate me. She used her desperation for moving out of her parent's place to manipulate me into moving into an overpriced apartment right in her high-property-value town(the density and size of cities and towns are high here being near a major metropolitan area, and we couldve moved anywhere and still be close to everything). But I wouldn't even know it until after she had already gotten the apartment and lived there for a month. I didn't know anything about the details of the lease, the price, or the fact that she couldn't afford it, until halfway into month two of HER lease in HER apartment that she got for "herself". That week, she argued with me intensely and threatened to break up with me, but then apologized and asked me to move in with her because she couldn't afford the apartment. I just couldn't imagine that she would actually be intellectually capable of hatching a plan where she intentionally would manipulate me like that, but I'll never know at this point. The more I moved my shit into her apartment from my very bachelor bunking situation with one other buddy, the less sex we had. I even recall the words on her calendar saying "Move (yours truly) in more!!!", I find that disturbing in retrospect. Subsequently, I lost respect and power in the relationship, I have been more subject to her moronic genderbender feminazi girlfriends opinions, she has abandoned my demands for higher fitness and dress standards, and we have absolutely no sex whatsoever. What's crazy is just like Cooper mentions here, the limited stinkbug-tactic sex that we did have before we completely stopped has even resulted in crying and equivocations of behaviors that reminded her loosely of the behaviors of an abusive ex (never actually abusive or offensive, just reminiscent of another person she dated like "he drank water like that too" kind of situation. The lack of sex doesn't seem to be intentional or malicious. Originally it was due to a self-proclaimed depression, but now the depression is one of her own making, as the antagonists are now clearly identified out loud and she is unwilling to fix them (especially her job... she's an allstar employee who could work anywhere, but I'm pretty sure she's waiting until she ragequits her job on her worst day to even start looking for another position). I was able to predict all this ahead of time, but I was unwilling to act on those predictions due to inexperience. While I have been able to break through to her on many of her irrational, inequitable and INDEED FORETOLD behaviors and contradictions post hoc in a flavor that she would agree to be morally unacceptable, not to mention I think she knows the jig is up, I am not sure I will be able to outpace her self-unaware instinctual behavior by appealing to her redeeming qualities in order to save our relationship. It just goes to show that, when you can tell that a person has not integrated their jungian shadow and become more self-aware regarding their sexuality, and perhaps even if they HAVE, it will always play out for the better to err on the side of insulting and displeasing your partner and staying out of this situation. If it was going to be a good relationship, it would have stayed together because of respect and high standards, or it would have fallen apart because it was unworthy. I'm not as secure and as badass as the bandits on this channel, and my sexual experience is limited and scars are piled up, so I'm going to try and YOLO a power grab in the relationship. I'm 33 years old and just got into the best shape of my life, I'm just around the corner from doing very well for myself, and I've been told by pretty much everyone that has been close to me that I'm great looking. I hope that this gives me 1. some new equity in the relationship or 2. an out for a better situation. Now, after listening to this video and typing this story out, I'm not so sure that actually holding onto this relationship is a good thing.

[@jackwilliamson1929]

You're absolutely correct and I'm sick of the dynamic between women and men just tired of it.

[@scottyg5403]

Great advice! I'm going thru this right now! The timing of this video is perfect!

[@mysteryhorses.A.Corona]

I am a woman and I agree. Women have become stupidly competitive. I must honestly say how appalled I am at a lot of women's lack of sexual integrity. I had a husband that did this to me. The number of dudes looking for a sugar momma is crazy! I heard a couple guys while in the grocery store bragging on his girlfriend working (also on food stamps) and how he got to smoke weed and lay video games all day. There are loads of those as well. Thanks for the tips.

[@gooddaymate1171]

I'm confused....do we keep dating for the rest of our lives until we're old and no woman would want us? Marriage seems like everyone bashes it, and people praise being single, but at the same time they want a relationship. This shit is so confusing.

[@supercharged6771]

Agreed, in my 20s it was standard to shack up and live together, as the bs continued over the years I got more and more gun shy if you still now in my later 40s you couldn't pay me to live with a girl. Unless it was going big with marriage of course, even marriage is out the window if a guy is smart... in reality if you love each other is no issue, avoid the legal ties

[@angel-rc8zj]

Founding this channel truly change the way i see life now , thank you for sharing your knowledge GOD BLESS YOU

[@shaycool3467]

I love that you quote Chris Rock one of my favorite comedians

[@thedrivechannel83]

Before moving in with my then girlfriend my dad gave me great advice. Make sure everything is in your name lease utilities everything. Also I'm in a non common law state. She could meet someone else.. claim you are violent and get you thrown out of you own home. If the place is yours all she can do is leave.. She never cheated but things didn't work out eventually and she left with just her cloths and some ugly shit her mom bought us over the years. Ha!

[@richardmelby7932]

I'd never heard of competition anxiety but it makes a lot of sense. One of the most confusing things to me was why almost every girl that's ever dumped me ends up trying to bang me within a few weeks. They find out that I'm dead serious about not being friends afterwards, that they will cease to exist to me. I don't make a very secure secondary safety net to fall back on if I erase them from my life and that must kick competition​ anxiety into overdrive. Because without fail they find some reason to get in touch and whatever the subject is ends up segueing into coming to my place. Before I understood what was really going on I absolutely took what they offered. I didn't give a crap about the guy they were with as they usually had been screwing them before things ended, and as petty as it might be I took the opportunity to get back at both parties by sleeping with my ex and then never acknowledging her presence ever again. Pretty much every girl wants to stay friends, and yet almost every one of them wouldn't allow a friendship between their boyfriend and an ex, saying that it isn't that they don't trust you, it's that they know better than to trust other women. And they absolutely know that most women will not allow this and have the gall to ask for it anyway. Just walk away and don't look back. Ever. There are other women out there and I can guarantee that the boost you'll get from dropping your ex cold will get someone's attention so why waste a second of your time on an ex?

[@richysticks]

I wish I started watching you 3 years ago this would have saved me some heartaches

[@JeffsFreedomGarage]

+Entrepreneurs in Cars - If you can't fix your Go-Pro, give them a call, let them know who you are on KZbin and they will do one of 3 things; 1. Warranty and fix your camera for a shipping and handling cost. 2. Let you trade up for a new camera at a substantial discount. Or 3. Give you a new camera with a promise of a positive mention of their company once you've received your new camera on a video. I've seen other KZbinrs given these options, why not you?

[@magneticlifestyle465]

Thanks for some interesting and real world truth taking place. It's much deeper than you can imagine though. This stuff isn't just happening by chance, trust me. Have to realize what time we are living in to fully understand why things are the way they are.

[@treygray7616]

Wish I would’ve watched this earlier. Started dating a younger girl (who I care about very much) and after 6 months she slowly started to move her things in. Now a year later she’s living with me and can’t get time away from her ever.

[@redcircuits110]

what did you do man? hows it going? still with her?

[@cameronscottlewis]

While I normally agree with most of what Richard Cooper says regarding relationships, this is one place where I disagree. Sharing accommodation with a partner allows you to more carefully observe them and to 'see them at their worst'. It allows a guy to 'test the waters' so to speak. I recommend this with some suggestions of course. Firstly you should do everything to maintain plausible deniability. That is no shared bank accounts, no co-signed lease or mortgage etcetera. Of course having only one bedroom is also a no-no. So in the event that a property claim is made, you can credibly deny any relationship. I also recommend doing this on your own terms, that means YOUR lease or YOUR mortgage, so in the event of a domestic dispute you can just throw her out, preferably while she is out at work or away for a while. The other option is if you cohabit at her place, that you maintain an escape route. Only keep minimal property there, and have somewhere you can stay at a moment's notice should the shit hit the fan. So your parents' or a close friend's place should fit the bill. I have cohabited with a few problem women and I have even had the police frequently involved in one of these. The police always took my side because I was calm and she was yelling and screaming. Other than keep up the good work. I know your videos help a lot of guys immensely.

[@fahass2]

Yo, I think it's time you did a video on the positive aspects of pursuing women and being in a relationship besides the obvious sex. Far too many videos on why women are shitty. Although we are "red pilled" we still like us a good quality broad. Share some experiences you've had with a good woman, and how/if that's helped you in anyway. Thanks brother and as usual hats off. Looking forward to an R8 video.

[@johnhoog8279]

Faisal Hassan The elusive unicorn.

[@johnhoog8279]

I know lots of men (and woman) trapped in an unhappy marriage for a variety of reasons, so I'll take the 50% and drop it to 25%. Are good women hard to find? Hell yes. I work with ~125 woman and wouldn't consider dating more than 3 of them, because I know them well. That makes good woman a unicorn.

[@jwigley3835]

That's not true. First of all, you just stated that LESS THAN HALF of marriages last a lifetime. Completely attrocious odds. Second, of those people who stay married, a majority of them are unhappy with at least one of them not leaving due to fear of either losing their children (which happens predominately to men) or losing everything they worked their entire lives for (predominantly men). There is a plethora of articles out there that detail how unhappy "un divorced" couples are. Many of them are living jails for men who are afraid to leave for fear of losing their children and being forced into poverty by way of alimony and child support.

[@funktronix]

dont twist what he was saying, he said 50% non-divorce rate, not 50% happy marriage..sneaky little shit. Even saying 25% of that 50% is unhappy is a lie; just because youre a negative loser who attracts other unhappy people & sees them as some kind of example, doesnt mean the whole world is as unhappy as you & your shit acquaintances. you just think decent women dont exist because you dont know how to adapt to imperfect women & attract the good ones. take heed of the medical advice, married men live healthier lives...or just seal the deal & finally switch to men, as you mgtow's secretly long for

[@jwigley3835]

Nice try sugar pie. "almost half of marriages last a lifetime" is the same as "LESS THAN HALF". It is easily equatable and I did that on purpose to express how it should be perceived. If you are up to it, uses google and look for information on the subject. It is easy to find articles expressing what I am talking about. You actually have no true argument because you went straight into ad hoc insults and framed me as a liar when I am using commonly found information from the internet. I obviously tugged on the strings of your belief system and now you are predictable attempting to defend it. I don't care if decent men or women exist. It has nothing to do with my point. You are creating strawman arguments and spewing ad hoc insults. There are also plenty of articles on the net that present the idea that of "LESS THAN" 50% of life long marriages, most of them are unhappy. Going by the fact that divorce is rampant and increasing it is also fair to assume that whatever marriages escape divorce, many are likely hanging on by threads.

[@johnmortimer7862]

It is hard for me to understand how women can basically view sex as a commodity that can be used to manipulate men or to capture their undivided attention. My first impression is that a lot of these men are simply not very good in bed, that they are unresponsive to what a woman is wanting sexually, or that they are just selfish (e.g., they skip foreplay, finish quickly, or are unwilling to do what she asks for). Also, coming from another perspective, is sex supposed to be the end-all be-all of a relationship? I thought the idea was to meet someone and settle down. That is, to get fat and old and find comfort in one another as human beings rather than solely as a means of sexual gratification. I suppose feminism and no-fault divorce law basically ruined that paradigm, though. Now people need to be on alert at all times, because the fact is that they simply do not need one another in the way couples of old needed to coexist to succeed.* Food for thought. *leaving debate on healthy homes, the failure of single motherhood, the epidemic of the welfare state, and the dissolution of the fabric of western civilization for another time.

[@jwigley3835]

That perception of finding someone, loving them, and being with them until death was put into our heads from birth but I don't think it was a reality for anyone at anytime in history except for a tiny minority of people. Shit, less than 100 years ago there were still arranged marriages in the U.S.A. The notion that it's supposed to be about love is a recent ideal in history. Even most of the old people I know who have been married 50 years seem to hate each other. They just dealt with it unlike the younger generations that came along after feminism and no fault divorce. Now women are empowered and men find out too late how dangerous marriage is legally.

[@johnmortimer7862]

I agree with you on your points. The idea of idealistic love is probably a big part of the downfall of traditional marriage, because not only are women empowered to live on their own, but people as a whole in the US, Canada, and the Western world have simply forgotten what it is like to sincerely struggle and persevere through hardship. People just bail on one another when they encounter conflict, and the world around us makes it all too easy. Whereas married couples who lived through WWII and even the Vietnam era learned to grin and bear it, and to rely on one another as part of a traditional family unit, people today get a taste of real married life and just hit the abort button, choosing instead to please themselves and their own circumstances. While it is convenient on paper, it is also a humongous failure, because it erodes the intangible values that make a society truly great. People are selfish and self centered, their endurance as human beings has withered, and by extension it makes them poorly apt to truly support and love their fellow man. And then you have the awful machine of big government, which indoctrinates the shit out of everyone before they have a chance to make their own opinions, and tries to cram every person into a box like filing letters in a post office. The result is a society of people who a) don't give a shit about anyone but themselves, and b) don't know well enough to realize which end is up. Perfectly grown and farmed tax payers who don't ask questions and don't make waves. Except for when they pop a fuse and go on shooting sprees. Cheers.

[@davideagen8653]

John; I think you are right about the men not being able to satisfy women. One big point of that is that most women don't understand what they want, but also men haven't learned either. Another part of that is that womens "desires" varies by time of the month. Tomassi and this channel go into the pattern of women going from Alpha and Beta desires. If you do get with your woman and learn how to please her sexually through her body you will also have to alternate your personality along with what she wants physcially based on her time of the month. Also, women are NOT putting in half the work either. They aren't learning what men want and are bailing faster on their part than men are. What I found works for women is female orgasm bluepring, but also pay attention to their minds that that course doesn't go into very well. I get girls squirting all the time and coming back even when they are with others, just for a "real" orgasm

[@davideagen8653]

Oh and don't think I am selling anything just torrent it, though I never said that.

[@joseannieto5466]

Richard you are the best. That's exactly what my sister always advised me against it. Cohabitation should only happen if the both of them get married. That's what I think.

[@Girz0r]

Good stuff, another video outlining my flaws from past relationships. So to say, I was young and dumb. Keep it coming, love the content.

[@cadsmi13]

he is 10,000% spot on about this subject. ... geez i dont have enough time or space in this thread to go through the details i personally went through....recently divorced also....i can't see any reason from here on out to move in or live with another woman....sorry gals...truth hurts

[@dridriyo]

I’m a 35 yr old single mom. Completely agree on living separately. In my experience, living with men is a turn-off for multiple reasons, you kind of become the guys mom... I don’t want to be someones mom, I want to be someone’s partner! Ester Perel keeps saying; desire needs space! Being an independent adult and having your own space is amazing! I also really don’t want a man living with my child.... Thanks for the video!

[@ezequiel5260]

This happened to me but totally reversed. I was like her dad, and it was weirding me out a lot, as well as being a turn off. I think this depends on the type of person, On my case she was childish and I was more mature so I ended up filling the role, but I have friends that are kind of a mess and suddenly they were dependant on their GFs for having clean laundry...

[@bedadays1763]

I had an experience where my now ex girls brother moved in to her apartment and it becomes much harder to lay down boundaries when 1.it’s not your place 2. Another family members getting involved. The domineering mother concept isn’t far off

[@-aussie-]

There's usually a huge economic element in regards to living with people

[@AcousticSilkvibes]

This is absolute facts!

[@shoa4566]

Don't do it. If she leaves don't fret. If you miss the first, bus the next one will soon come.

[@maruetsane3616]

Having been married and had a live in GF. I agree with many points RC points. 1. Everything becomes routine and you look less desirable because you get more predictable. Thus either person will look outside not necessarily to cheat(although it happens) but just excitement. 2. The arguments are exaggerated and can be too much as passive aggressive tendencies start to show. The ultimatum that she will leave is higher with a gf. 3. The burden of responsibility falls on the guy. When money goes funny, count your days. 4. If roles are defined and she is traditional,it’s great but making sure you don’t become a sloth. 5.Dates are less frequent because you already supporting an entire adults living expenses. Bonus: if have kids from prior relationship , ensure there are clear expectations and guidelines. If she has kids then well you are highly compromised

[@MasterBone33]

This is my new favorite channel

[@flyharvey6666]

Yo thanks again Rich for dropping truth. Doing God's work out there

[@mariusvanc]

Creating competition anxiety is a great opportunity for a vetting test. If she's cool and just tries harder to make herself more attractive to you, fantastic. If she goes off the deep end and goes all psycho on you, this is a great time to find this out and cut ties.

[@rnickens1999]

Does competition anxiety exist? YES!

[@jemohiuhu2895]

Thank you for your education & advice. You do save a lot of people. You shall leave a great legacy. One that will show rational persons how to navigate economically & socially in this century

[@HodajuciParadoks]

As a woman I do not plan to marry if I do not live with him a year, maybe not more than a year , but at least a year, it is better to see if we can tolerate each other before any legal stuff, we all know that when you start living together is not easy, but better to have a trial time a year ..before you get married. The worst thing is to get married and see that you really can not live together.

[@jamesh8862]

A year is not enough. The honeymoon period can last for 2/3 years depending on the scheduling between you. Does one of you work away during the week, different working shifts from one another, forced to do regular overtime etc, etc.

[@mikeMcoa]

Gabriella Dots comments were very enlightening and saddening.

[@mooinabc1]

The main reason to live together is to find out the realities of her. Is she real respectful, trusting,sharing, time with you or time without you or does just want you make a baby and then kick you out.

[@AmirOrdabayev]

0:51 Not in a disrespectful way ... But what's the deal with "unless you're getting married" part ? Men, there is no "unless you're getting married". Protect your wallet, protect your heart and go your own way. Stay happy, stay single :-)

[@azamar1000]

Great videos you make sir, I appreciate the knowledge you offer through them, keep up the good work.

[@rona8663]

You're absolutely correct... I've been married 4 times and everytime the sex was destroyed after getting married. Every single time.... the exact same way.... little by little until practically nothing.... every ffff..... ng time....

[@nick5518]

Making a mistake is better than not making, if you learn from your mistake. Mistakes are good.. there are only 2 mistakes that will never be fixed.. 1) never damage your health... 2) don't make a baby at an young age. you can learn after you make them but never fix these mistakes. I'm 22 tho.. no kids and living healthy life. building my business and learning on mine and other people's mistakes. ;) thanks for your channel. I've learned useful tip today.

[@louiewatson9389]

You really hit the nail on the head.

[@lollsazz]

It's so weird that my experience is soooooo different from what he's talking about in this video.... If you have known a person for a short time, DON'T move in together. Don't buy a house, don't rent an expensive apartment that you need TWO people to be able to pay off. However, I don't see living together as something bad if: 1) you would be totally able to pay whatever rent on your own if the other person suddenly needed to move out 2) the other person could always move out if it was necessary (had family living nearby, had friends they were able to rent with). ALSO: if you do as in situation 1 and rent something ONE person can pay off, you would probably be renting something small enough to not give the other person crazy expectations about living standard. On the other hand, getting married to someone without having lived with them seems... risky to me. You don't know their schedule, their habits etc. I wouldn't want to find out that I was incompatible with living with a person I had married. By living with someone for a longer period you will also be able to see what happens with your sex life after some time, as I would expect that it would happen in any case if you ended up marrying that person

[@TopEvt]

Yep you are right. Only let the girl move in when you get married.

[@MrCrazydude135]

Finally, been waiting for this for a while(even though I'm single) just wanted to see your input on this.

[@anthony78yt]

so true. I am the married men who remembers the good times of the past.

[@caveman_period6282]

You are so bloody right. Sex life with me and my GF DRAMATICALLY changed for worse after I moved in to her apartment. She suddenly became tired "because she worked so much" And I did not even sign anything for her. Darn.... I fucked myself big time. And now you clarified me all this situation.

[@Worldtravelerr78]

Good video. Maybe you could distinguish between different situations to clarify on the dangers. The biggest problem is that thru cohabitation alone, you could become legally married by common law. That won't come into play for 3-5 years, but it's just like real marriage and you will lose half. You can live with someone without major financial reprocutions by living together, but only if you don't sign the lease together, allowing you to either leave or kick the girl out. That however will not save you from the relationship dynamic changes and the "micro divorce" of losing your comunal stuff when you go... usually furniture like the beds and tvs which you bought together, assuming she lets you take anything besides your suitcase when you walk out.

[@juanvelasco6650]

I asked my gf why we don’t have crazy sex anymore. She told me “I already got you so I don’t have to try anymore” I’ve been living with her for a year and a half and we are pretty much breaking up now. Oh well

[@crowgirl8754]

Living together can eventually lose or kill passion and desire...everybody has to go home!

[@richcampus]

"...you won't want me, then I'll want you, when you come back I won't want you, pushed and pulled our minds will rip in two..." ~●~

[@bellaandonlini3936]

Then how does the living arrangement change after marriage? Getting married and signing a piece of paper doesn't change the sexual dynamic/adventure? It takes work to be in a vibrate , high functioning relationship married or not, living together or not. There are parts that you mentioned that makes sense and I have experienced those anxieties when living with someone. All relationships must be viewed as a business. Within that business everyone has responsibilities and roles to play. Communication is key and if those roles and responsibilities require tweaking too change the functionality between the relationship then so be it. Nothing ever remains the same and momentum towards change is what will keep any relationship functioning. Yes, I believe that being in a relationship and living separately can work well for some , especially as you get older. Living with someone should not fill a void such as loneliness , or too meet a financial need that's where shit will hit the fan. If you can't handle your ability too be alone or live within your financial means and be happy then co-habitating with someone will only be a short term fix.

[@GRADE8BOLT]

I've said this year's ago esp keep separate everything. .......she has her place and goes back to it ....