Ep. 211 | Clean Spaces (with Melissa Maker)

Joshua and Ryan talk about organizing, tidying up, and cleaning your home with author and entrepreneur Melissa Maker. Watch “Maximal” episodes of The Minimalists Private Podcast exclusively at / theminimalists
Questions answered in this episode:
How do I attain and maintain a clean and orderly home when my partner persists in being a packrat? (01:33)
How do I appropriately store a plethora of important documents? (10:04)
How do I overcome the overwhelm I feel whenever I try to address the clutter in my home? (21:20)
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Detailed show notes: theminimalists.com/podcast
#TheMinimalists

[@carylmaluping9632]

"It's easier to clean when there's less stuff"

[@cleanmyspace]

One of my most favourite moments of 2019 - thanks Ryan and Joshua for having me on!

[@TheMinimalists]

Thanks so much for joining us, Melissa!

[@susanharkema2888]

Oh now THIS is gonna be fun! Clean AND minimized. Let's do this.

[@dianajosmathandmore9752]

With respect to getting your partner to get rid of stuff, I found that I had to deal with my own stuff first. I had issues myself with my stuff but it was much easier to see his stuff. When I began to deal with my own stuff I understood what I was asking him to do for one, but more importantly I didn’t have time to point the finger since I had to deal with my own issues before I felt I had the right to talk about his. I know this doesn’t apply to everyone but hopefully it will help someone. Fast forward we are about to live full time in a van so we have to be minimal. The process of getting rid of everything has been eye opening for both of us.

[@RecycleChic]

I agree & WHY is that? Other people’s things bother me much more than my own. Congrats on getting down to van life!

[@debk6161]

I’ve always been a minimalist. My husband is the opposite. After over half a century of marriage I know there is no way to change him. The more space I leave for him the happier he is to fill it. To him, my empty shelves are a reward for him. 😢

[@dianajosmathandmore9752]

@@debk6161 I'm sorry. I'm wondering if there is any way for you to have a space of your own? He has his and you have yours? Maybe one room that is yours. Whatever room brings you joy and maybe the easiest one for him to pull out his things. I know the struggle. I hope you get to have some minimal space just for you.

[@dianajosmathandmore9752]

@@RecycleChic Thanks! All the best!

[@1rahmaan]

@@debk6161 I have a friend in the same situation. She discovered that placing pretty, decorative, EMPTY boxes or decor items on the decluttered shelves and drawers etc. did the trick for her. There is no room for her hubby to put his extra stuff. She calls it Controlled Clutter or Camuflage 😁

[@ashmarie5049]

For the kid’s art thing, with my 6 year old sister we hang up her paintings and drawings in the place of more traditional wall art. She sees her art hanging proud around the house but it isn’t causing excess clutter, which is nice for her to feel proud and nice for us because it’s not just sitting in her room taking up space

[@Reegs01]

Great video!! I love cleaning and find it easier to downsize and clean at the same time by removing EVERYTHING from the room... followed by cleaning (dusting vacuuming etc.), then only putting back the items I need/have used in the last new months.

[@TylerLloyd]

Reegan Bushby great way to do it! Strip everything down and then intentionally adding back what serves you.

[@thalitaferratti]

Whoa that’s a great idea, but I wonder how many hours that would take! Anyway I think I’ll try it.

[@mrsstrople]

Man, Melissa's first remark and I'm brimming with tears. So beautiful

[@astrothsknot]

I open letters by the recycling bin, so it never takes up space.

[@michellebyrd979]

Two of my FAVE most enriching YT channels together in one episode 🙌💝🙏👍

[@00Mercredi00]

She's so smart and entertaining to listen to.

[@thehousekeeper9284]

This has been my favourite podcast so far.i have a housekeeping co. and we also help people declutter & organise. But helping people to understand why they behave the way they do (and their spouses) is the most valuable step to starting to declutter, deep clean and then organise. I am sharing this podcast with our clients - I know everyone will get some benefit from it. I’ve listened to this three times now.

[@mrsstrople]

Dana K White's visibility rule is excellent when you feel stuck!

[@jdawg414]

I would love a discussion for us on the other side.. meaning the cleaners and decluttered ones. It seems we are always the ones that have to compromise and walk on egg shells for the messier house mate. At what point can we say where is dual respect we also deserve? Does the messy/hoarder person ever consider the stress they are putting on the other?

[@00Mercredi00]

This is so true. I used to live with someone that was very messy. He had a lot of stuff. I felt like I was disappearing slowly under all his collections and things. It was so stressful that I ended up moving out even if we loved each other. We're no longer together but as a now minimalist I don't know how I could ever live with someone ever again... 😔

[@variationsonaseam6939]

@Jessica Dawson THANK YOU.

[@drakedrones]

Tell me about it! It was to a point of madness. A minimalist cannot survive with a messy and hoarder partner. It will drain you of all your energy and peace, not to mention the relationship is doomed.

[@SunnySensei]

I am messier than my partner (not by a ton) and I have tried to do better these last few years and meet him in the middle with cleaning. It has gotten a lot better as I started learning about minimalism since it is easier to clean and organize when there is less stuff! :-)

[@jjuniper274]

I've been moving a few things out of my house, a few at a time. 51 years, and the possessions of at least 9 other people -- my kids, my brother who moved abroad and deceased family. Oh...and my stuff too and my boyfriend.

[@rosemarywilliams9969]

Also apply that same method to your digital files because it helps the footprint and it also helps prevent identity theft. I'm a professional secretary... deal with a lot of tax stuff and audits, and you have to ask yourself if I were to get audited will I still need this; and every year you want to go through and clean out all those digital clutters including your backups and there backups because you don't want too many things around that has your social, your birthday... your everything in it. It's something that you have to turn into a habit because it's not something you can do overnight or even in one year.

[@rachelhambleton8762]

She said that people hold on to things because it's an emotional response. There is something deeper there. I've wondered if minimalism could also be an emotional response. I am a minimalist. I hate clutter, things, stuff... but I feel it might be an issue. I want to get rid of everything. I question why. Why does having stuff cause me anxiety, depression, etc?

[@feyzaakinci3678]

I think its about your lifestyle and personality. For example, I am a HSP also a highly sensitive person, so clutter distract me more than others, and so do other «too muchs» like loud noises. My lifestyle is pretty fast compared to rest of my family members because I am a full time student. So, because I get distracted of clutter, and because I dont have time for too much stuff. Therefore, owning less is the solution.

[@amara560]

That sounds like the difference between minimalism as a tool and as a destination. Also possibly compulsury behaviour.

[@MW-fi7we]

I've noticed that it's very easy for me to let go, which includes things and people. Clutter weighs me down, and I find that a lot of people weigh me down too, therefore I cut contact with them. I don't take shit from people.

[@sherryhyde565]

I wonder if you hate stuff as much as me lol The older I get, the more I realize just how little we need🌿

[@Sky-Child]

I am autistic and have OCD tendencies. I definitely have anxiety spirals where I freak out and want to just get rid of everything (even stuff I do value and use regularly) - breathe. Step away. Try to focus on something else. Write down your thoughts so you can see the patterns. It is often in response to feeling lack of control or feeling stifled by something. Hope this maybe helps and gives someone some insight.

[@andshesmiles6272]

So I work in medical records. It is HIPAA law that they give you your records in whatever format you ask to get it in. That means if you request those shot records to be a digital document, thats how they must send them.

[@TylerLloyd]

Great interview! By nature, I am messy. Or at least that’s the narrative I’ve told myself. I like to spread out, my projects expand to fill the space, and I’m a lover of piles. But, I do see that a messy environment causes me stress. I know that clean workspace helps me be more creative, but there still remains a disconnect between what I ‘know’ and what I ‘do.’

[@dkbegue]

I love the advice of start small area and see progress and move to next small area or shelf or box or cupboard

[@rosemarycornwall5162]

Shine your kitchen sink is a fantastic place to start. (Flylady)

[@ivanneebongosia5030]

i love Melissa! thanks for having her :)

[@bigb853]

My mother is a hoarder and not the cleanest- 'dust collectors' everywhere, piles of paper, every wall covered...unfortunately you can not force your life style on anyone. Even when you know it would benefit them. Sigh.

[@debk6161]

I feel your pain! My mother was the same way. Every house she lived in was jammed with junk. Every space, even the showers and bathtubs were filled, mostly with clothes, shoes and expired foods. She lived alone. I was given the honor of cleaning out her enormous 5 bedroom house when she went to a 2 bedroom assisted living apartment and a few years later when she moved to a nursing home at the age of 94. It was a horrific disgusting job and I was saddled with 99% of the work because my 8 siblings wanted nothing to do with her because she was such a toxic and abusive person. Then when she died I was saddled with serving as her executor. Her totally mismanaged finances and taxes took me nearly 2 years of working several hours a day to sort out. I had to fly back and forth from distant states to do all of this. Needless to say, I didn’t keep one item from her hoards, but I’m saddled with the documents and paperwork that resulted from the probate process for the rest of my life.

[@bigb853]

@@debk6161 I am so sorry you had to go through this. You are stronger for it. My Mum did not have functional areas like a bath filled but expired food in the pantry and each cupboard exploding. The most painful part out it all is her caring more about her things then people and relationships. Your mother is very lucky to have such a loving and hard working daughter. It sounds like being in care is best for her. Remember you can love but it is not your responsibility to fix her. 💖💖💖💖

[@puffpiece1375]

@@debk6161 what a horrible experience. If only arson wasn’t illegal

[@willowperry48]

This is the podcast I didn't know I needed! 🙏❤️

[@noemimorales7973]

I learned about the adobe scan app from my accountant! It has made my life so much easier!

[@keric3730]

When Visiting friends or helping them move, I've offered to take stuff to the thrift store. It's a small way to lift a burden from them, and It helps the stuff go were it can do good

[@melodygrandy7598]

SHE GOING TO HELP YOU TO CLEAN her way with most fav cleaners

[@iarroyo612]

Take a picture of organizing and cleaning or bagging stuff to get rid off to friends brings me satisfaction and my friend too we go back and forth and we bounce ideas to each other as single moms we can help each other

[@ps0195]

Super great podcast! Very helpful, but to me everything y’all do is helpful!

[@samantharowley125]

Just love Melissa and her channel. Thanks for having her on. She is truly a minimalist as well as cleaner and organizer.

[@ANokes1]

Love Melissa! Also, wanted to mention a book that my former boss wrote about the Last Things We Talk About, wrapping up the stuff we avoid talking about it, like you talked about in this episode.

[@amandamariemullins2954]

Yay! Melissa!

[@phyliciajoykloes]

3:00 embracing a minimalistic lifestyle took me a while. I feel more certain telling people I'm living in such a way - not that other have a true affect on being called a minimalist or not appearing so. I get excited when it's a new month, so I can declutter again and again. (Not that I don't get rid of things at other times, because I do). One thing, though, my computer and harddrives are still cluttered with a tooooon of photos, videos, and documents. I should tackle that. Great conversation again.

[@TylerLloyd]

phyliciajoykloes I’m still working to minimize my life. It’s a journey and everyone’s journey is different. Oh, and my hard drives are also cluttered! 😆

[@GypsyWolf7]

@@TylerLloyd Same. 😂

[@phyliciajoykloes]

@@TylerLloyd That's very true. Different yet a similar thought: things aren't the important things. Being in the process is awesome, though. I learned many lessons. 🤗

[@danm4345]

Great segment!

[@adamsech]

I have a shredder and shredder EVERYTHING I CAN and then compost rather than recycle.

[@csohrab]

Wow. What a lovely deep conversation. So much to learn from you guys. Love it, again!

[@ravenrosewitches]

Love this episode

[@maverickmadison7392]

I am an extreme minimalist, *most minimalist I have seen all talks about getting rid of stuffs, physical stuffs, tangible stuffs, stop buying stuffs etc* and I would like to quickly share some of my different minimalist approach that are mostly uncommon & rare to most minimalist. [1st] I get rid of my hair & facial hair, I bald my head, it's self-explanatory & make sense that I don't have to constantly deal with my hair, well maybe a very short one. I don't shave my head every single day though, I find it tedious to shave it everyday, so I shave my head & my facial hair once a week. [2nd] Social events, I don't go out for social as often as before, unless it is a very important one, I can allocate all this time for other more important things in my life.

[@kailebrogan447]

How are you an extreme minimalist? How do you get there?

[@barbarapope349]

I have been inspired by you to get going again with my dream of minimalism 😊I’ve been dealing with difficulty in letting go of emotional things so it’s taking longer but I will succeed 🤗

[@TheImperfectReader]

I love Melissa!!!

[@jurgitab3100]

They all life is just one big party: scaning party, boxing party, death party,... :D Amazing

[@jjuniper274]

Murielle is on point!

[@jimmydude2528]

Nice being a writer!

[@robinrutherfordcost4748]

Love Dana K White - do your most visible areas first. Look for trash - put it in the black garbage bag. Next easy stuff - like stuff together. If the item has a home elsewhere in the house, take it there now. Do one item at a time, only touch it once. Donation box. If I was looking for this item, where would I look for it first? Put it there now. That way you can't say, my house is now organized, just don't have any idea where anything is. The Minimal Mom is also a good station. Rachel Cruze said a Mom whose daughter was a junior in high school, told her she had to apply for 3 scholarships every week day for a year. She graduated college debt free! Also if your kids have dogs, the scholarships for junior handlers - agility, obedience, confirmation - awesome. Get them involved! Plus your local dog club is probably less expensive than other options and probably more positive - so your kids and dogs learn to do things positively rather than "bullying - you will obey or else". Hope that helps.

[@feathersky860]

Thank you ALL ✔️ 🦅

[@aussiegruber86]

Hi from Australia, I am on the path to reducing clutter. Only problem I have is the Bin space and trying to move the stuff out of my house

[@HomemakerDaze]

How to get ur partner to clean? By telling them to get fucking cleaning that's what I do lol

[@andshesmiles6272]

Hey Ryan, how do the conversations about finding a commonality to work towards start out? Does one person just say "Hey 'this or that' isnt working- I want this, tell me what you want and lets see how we can compromise?" It'd be nice to hear more about this.

[@Sky-Child]

I would start out with 'This is not working. Can we work together and find a better way? Tell me what you want/need.' and actually listen. If you jump in with what you want, the other person could get defensive and feel like you are attacking them/making a list of demands. By asking them you are showing them you care about what they want and they are likely to be less reactive. It is unlikely to be fixed in one big conversation, but lots of little returns to similar themes. In my experience anyway

[@annaalm18]

she looks so much better without makeup!

[@HomemakerDaze]

I always think ill clean a couple windows and then I cant stop and want to do all the windows in the house. Then the next day I have sore shoulders. Like right now did it again dammit lol

[@estherventura-damico7901]

Social security cards are limited I think is 3 times per year and a limit number of cards per your lifetime. That’s why they asked those questions. Individuals were getting cards every year several times a year unnecessarily.

[@andreadavis8565]

I found out that you can only get up to like eight or ten new Social Security Cards in your lifetime. I was adopted, got married, got divorced and 5 years ago married again (for the last time). But they tried to tell me not to get one, unless it's most definitely necessary. So, I have gotten five cards, due to name changes. LoL.

[@priusa8113]

Please link the apps mentioned: Paper Karma and Adobe What? And what’s the brand of the digital scanner? I appreciate it guys and wish you stop by Boston:):)

[@TheMinimalists]

Check out the show notes on our website. Have them delivered to your inbox directly at minimalists.email-thanks for watching!

[@carolynb.9469]

My fiance has over 100 t-shirts (plus the rest of his wardrobe), 3 book cases full of books (plus 12 boxes of books in storage), and hundreds of video games. I wouldn't mind that much, he really enjoys all that stuff, but we live together in a studio apartment. I feel like there's no escaping the clutter that isn't mine. Quarantine has not really helped, either

[@Scarl3tGhoul]

How do you get comfortable with the fact that the majority of your file cabinet being digitized? I’m a bit younger than you guys so it scared me when iTunes became a thing. What about hard copy backup? That’s where I’m tense.

[@karynmill1217]

The photo scanner link, where is it?

[@madelinechatelle]

Pay someone clean! Ask a trusted friend to help you clean & provide a meal for them.

[@DiscipleSteven]

talk an expert about this, um *pause* I have a filing cabinet, its a locked filing cabinet .. lol really cracked me up haha

[@vijayjayaram606]

Content was almost repeated, for me, sounded like I have heard these from the same people... May be different set of videos... But, good one.. 🤘

[@roxiewood4816]

Minimalist for file and papers need help and what u keep?

[@Janneli2024]

What if you appreciate the things your mum bought you thru life and kept them for that reason why can’t I let them go

[@sccrespoc]

Am I the only bugged by the fact they introduced her but she didn't speak until min 2.16? she didn't say hello, or thanks for inviting me. I hope it was a problem with the edition and not that they didn't let her talk