Ep. 287 | Empty Inside (with Jennette McCurdy)

Joshua and Ryan talk about that empty feeling we all experience from time to time-and the things we do when we attempt to fill the void-with podcaster, writer, and director Jennette McCurdy. Watch “Maximal” episodes of The Minimalists Private Podcast exclusively at / theminimalists
Questions answered in this episode:
00:00 Why did Jennette start her podcast?
04:00 What is the disconnect between our higher quality of life in this modern age and our happiness?
05:55 How does society and culture influence disorders?
09:25 Why do we believe celebrities’ lives are better than ours?
10:33 Why do others often insist we not give up our “successful” careers?
13:40 What are the three different types of relationships?
15:43 How do we appropriately manage expectations in relationships?
19:35 I think minimalism can help many of my loved ones find meaning in their lives and avoid the void, but I find it difficult to communicate it to them effectively so they see and understand the benefits and find it more attractive than the rat race they’re in-any tips?
20:02 What is the elevator pitch for minimalism?
23:24 How do you address the shame that sometimes accompanies minimalism?
24:00 How is power the opposite of freedom?
25:14 Was Jennette shamed for walking away from her acting career?
26:32 Does confidence come from consistency?
28:09 Filling our voids with stuff isn’t good, but what is good-what should we replace that consumption urge with that is meaningful?
33:07 What is the “suckhole”?
36:02 Why is Jennette’s podcast titled Empty Inside?
Follow The Minimalists:
Instagram: / theminimalists
Twitter: / theminimalists
Facebook: / theminimalists
Text: my.community.com/theminimalists
Blog: theminimalists.com
Podcast: theminimalists.com/podcast
Patreon: / theminimalists
Detailed show notes: theminimalists.com/podcast
#TheMinimalists

[@Antistylestyleclub]

She has the perfect voice for a podcast, and what she chooses to talk about is also pretty good 😊🧡

[@albertabramson3157]

Yeah, she makes Empty Inside so good. There's so much going on upstairs, I could listen to Jennette all day.

[@gregpainter6885]

Jennette is an extremely intelligent young lady.

[@ericrainey8224]

That new iCarly just ain't the same without Sam and Gibby

[@cristina9753]

You didn’t waste your life you did what you could to cope 🌘🌗🌖

[@franktesta1231]

Watching her grow up on ICarly and seeing her now is amazing. She is blessed and smart for going after what she wants most and not succumbing to what others think she should do.

[@jmdines1]

Reminds me of the quote "The pursuit of happiness becomes the source of our unhappiness." - Dan Harris, 10% Happier.

[@PrestoJacobson]

Really enjoyed his podcast until it got filled with ads!

[@lovetotravel780]

Your words resonate with me. Ryan says Fill the void with acceptance, not stuff. Joshua says Happiness is only uncovered it is never acquired. We presuppose the void is bad, the emptiness is bad. We try to fill the void and it widens. Respect and appreciate the emptiness. Thank you Joshua and Ryan for this reminder. I am trying to continuously embrace the space in various areas of my life.

[@somewaltz]

Good episode. I remember watching her on iCarly thinking her life must’ve been terrific, but it just goes to show you can never know the struggles a person goes thru on their own.

[@rowddyone3570]

I understand the Mom thing, my husband and I were able to pay our house off at age 36, become completely debt free so I can quit work and stay at home since I have chronic back pain. I am a disappointment in her eyes, especially since I graduated from college and essentially wasting my life. But at the end you have to do what's best for you, sometimes people family is the hardest to deal with.

[@amandasymon4363]

I’m ashamed to have to admit that I find it difficult to be left alone too long with my own thoughts/feelings - I feel compelled to have to escape from my thoughts/feelings by going out amongst people. This prevents me from being able to settle down and improve my art. I then berate myself and so it goes on. Filling the void - You’ve given me a lot to ponder 👌

[@nvp9095]

The disconnect is the chase, the chase for happiness!! Hey, you can tweet that podcast Sean

[@sarahlockridge7879]

I'm in recovery from an eating disorder. Absolutely about control. Thank you for sharing!

[@chipchap5808]

One of my favourite podcasts so far and they are all great of course! I feel empty inside with my life and where everything is going but I think it is good to hear that I am not alone with this, that even people that have "everything" you thought would need to fill your own void still feel empty inside. Really opens your eyes. Thank you!

[@user-bt9sr7jl5m]

Thank you for a great podcast. It always seems as if I am sitting and chatting right next to you as you are so genuine and speaking from your heart. Your words about having a void and accepting it instead of trying to fill it are so true. We often don’t live in a moment and we try to chase after happiness without realising that we can choose to be happy right now and here. Thank you guys, you bring so much positivity, energy and wisdom.

[@perrimeno]

"Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then." --Bob Seger, 'Against the Wind'

[@skellzzed8255]

I love chats with Jennette. I'd like to see more of this. If I could chat with people like you every week, I probably would

[@metaspherz]

When I feel empty inside I write poetry. When I feel happy I write poetry. When I feel bored I write poetry. When I feel love I write poetry. When I feel tired I sleep -- then I write poetry! Life IS poetry if you let it. Poetry is expressing yourself. Good or bad, it's the expression that matters most. You cannot be happy if you don't express yourself. Otherwise, you will always be looking for other things to make you happy.

[@jenheadjen]

I really appreciated this. Thank you all for sharing these ideas.

[@floridabusinessemail9676]

Fantastic podcast! Thank you for your valuable content

[@Hopeyj103]

This is a phenomenal conversation. All of you are brilliant.

[@christine8754]

Every time i listen to your podcasts , i get motivated to do things ( cleaning, exercise, etc) 😊

[@RubySlays297]

I love this! My daughter loved watching replays of Sam & Cat last year (we are in Australia). I just realised how I recognised Jennette’s voice ❤️ so nice to see you looking happy and gorgeous x

[@Kelly-gc1gg]

It’s “ver-oh-NIQUE” btw from a girl with an absolutely unpronounceable last name. This is one of the best episodes ever! Jeannette had so much authenticity and genuine wisdoms to share. Thank you all three!

[@metaspherz]

Isn't being a minimalist just another way to justify being lazy? As a procrastinator, I practice minimalism on a daily basis. I don't fear the void, I embrace it. Therefore, I am not empty inside, I merely have ample space to share. Sharing is the one thing that I don't want to minimize.

[@basithph8958]

I think its great that Jennette is coming forward to share her experiences as an actor especially as a child star And you do learn a thing or two from her too

[@luzharo876]

I enjoyed listening this discussion.thank you🙂

[@biancalouisefuentes9776]

Jennette is so great. Love the topic and the episode! 🥰

[@carylmaluping9632]

This is great thanks for this ❤️

[@liisaelts7522]

I bought dolls. I knew I did it, because it was the only part of my life that nobody else wanted to know about (grownup buying dolls-ewwww). It was that one thing, that was mine, it didn't relate to my real life problems. Not like a 100, we're talking about 10 dolls :D But last year, I just stopped. They filled a need I no longer feel. I still have them, they're my safety net, sort of, but honestly, it feels good to not feel the urge to get new dolls just because I could buy them. Now I make clothes for them I can sell and earn extra for my actual goal and it feels good. But it was interesting to me how it took me years to actually stop with buying them, because I thought I did it due my extremely stressful work, which I quit 5 years back but the feeling out of sorts didn't go away. Now though, after getting past the loneliness the endless working put me in, I no longer feel the need for that replacement therapy.

[@jasmincastillo8686]

Great conversation

[@mariethesizzler]

Ughhhh I love her!!! I've always loved her 😀 hope you're doing amazing, gorgeous

[@Kapplerartbloomingdale]

I look up and truly respect you.

[@hannahmiller5515]

Is the void just boredom? Like maybe it's a sign that we are a little too ocd with "approved" things for safety and manageability (control), but something totally new or a totally new approach to an old thing could help. One thing that helps boredom could be doing something that feels actually challenging or a bit unpleasant, maybe that addresses our weaknesses rather than building on strengths? Idk but I think for me it has to do with boredom

[@Saffron.Aerowyn_07]

Ever since I discovered you guys from the Minimalism Documentary...you have inspired me and captured my heart....whenever I listen and watch you, it feels like I am among good friends. Keep up the good work... Love from Texas. ❤

[@yeshacasseydoes9242]

I love this

[@metaspherz]

Oh, Jennette, you don't need me to tell you, BUT you are beautiful. The problem with most people is that they always focus on 'me' and what 'I' want and 'I' desire. 'Me' feeds off itself. Everything revolves around the ego. When we focus on others then we are actually enriching ourselves because we forget 'me.'

[@isaacseabra5669]

the microphone blocks the view of the mouth of the guest. it should be lowered a little. i feel like when we listen to people as we watch them, we like to see them actually talk.

[@scorpio7938]

Great listening and your guest is very interesting and beautiful

[@raymondcunanan1135]

I’m a fan from Icarly days! Just discovered this channel and can relate

[@orphanedhanyou]

While we may have different illnesses, more chronic illness, we most definitely also are healthier than ever and less at risk of serious injury and death. In the past you may not have gotten to the point an illness was chronic because you were already dead.

[@kathrynwatters1289]

Super once again.👍

[@adrianaalba1556]

I love this episod i'm learning english is posible i that will be write bad, but i love your content , you are fantastics, my live chanded thanks to you. Hugs from Colombia

[@Rebeccavd92]

Jenette, only now you as Sam. It's great to get to know the real you! And your great and inspiring! Wish you all the best😘

[@Mondlerrrr]

I loved her growing up and have followed her for years. She stopped hiding her real life and seems to be taking her life back. That’s amazing, but you can tell she still has a lot to work through, especially the way she talks about certain topics. There seems to be a lot of bitterness still inside her, though I supposed that takes time. I wish her well.

[@BE-bs8oe]

You both know how very muchisímo your discussions are appreciated over here in Europe. But to put the record straight, one cannot really seriously state that we've never been as much ill as in 2021. Each decade sees increasing lifeexpectancy , cancer is now a name but probably pests, polio, tuberculosis hid loads of other illnesses (some of which maybe were what we now call cancers...) Imagine open toilets running down the streets, no sewage, no bodywashing (as a minimalist I totally subscribe to the reasonable , low impact,amount of washing), in the Middle Ages or today... Tanning activities producing foulwater, toxic waste for centuriessnd still as for today in many places on Earth. I guess there's no such thing as "more" or "less", each reached its own health tolls and issues to deal with. Santé et Cheers 🥂

[@TPA-fj9if]

Morning Early Simpleton Birds!

[@CrocaHead]

*Chirp, chirp!*

[@cristal4142]

Love ❤️ you guys

[@metaspherz]

I've said it before but you cannot have success without failure. I ought to know because I have a lot of success at failure and have practically perfected it. Therefore, failure is actually an accomplished skill. What can I say? It's a talent that has been honed by thousands of hours of practice.

[@xoxomandy101]

Our joy is found in God alone 😊

[@petitscarabee7662]

Thanks

[@RecycleChic]

Starting @ 30: Ryan uncovers the meaning of life!

[@Kapplerartbloomingdale]

Cheers

[@misssicily100]

Joshua you are so smart

[@misssicily100]

I would love to talk to you maybe be on your podcast.

[@AnnaKatherineYT]

A collab I never saw coming

[@VEGANzUmebies]

I grew up watching her from ICarly didn't even recognize her at first

[@ozziekhoo]

They have done an episode with her before this one!

[@orphanedhanyou]

I think a huge problem with the chase for happiness is the obsession with power. Not just what is mentioned here, that those in power are the problem, but the system that means those with less power fight in the rat race to get more and/or demonize those with more because it's very easy to resent anyone with more than you. It doesn't matter how much you have, there is always someone with more and you "know" they don't "deserve it" but you do.

[@oc4029]

Man, I wish there was a new minimalist podcast every day XD

[@Crambull]

_Ayy, it's Sam!_

[@xSoporific1]

nice

[@treyasmr653]

Hi

[@admominadmomin7443]

my BIGGEST FEAR IS SHE BEING unhappy.. HOPE WITH ALL MY HEART THAT SHE'S ALWAYS HAPPY. I just cant see my childhood CRUSH AND FUNNY person go through such bad conditions.

[@blueschild61]

When was this uploaded? Did KZbin stop posting the upload dates?

[@elisabethryder4719]

May 11 2021 is what I see.

[@blueschild61]

@@elisabethryder4719 Hmm. I've been using KZbin on the same laptop for about eight years now, and all of a sudden the upload date is gone. I find it very helpful for relevance of the content. I know that this probably seems very stupid to you, but where do you see the date and what type of device do you use? Thank you for replying anyway.

[@elisabethryder4719]

@@blueschild61 That's not stupid at all. Though I was never much of a fan of history, I still knew it was very important. I was on my phone and found it by expanding the details of the video. I see it generally at the top next to total views and likes. Hope that helps.

[@HalleSweetPea]

The void is filled by gratitude for God.

[@griseldag8813]

I wonder if the reason Jeanette wants to me the taker in intimate relationships is because she grew up being the one everyone would take from, and maybe she keeps her friends at a distance to avoid future takers from emerging??

[@juliawashburn675]

What happened to the song you were going to share?! I'm watching on KZbin and you said you were going tp play a song, but I wasn't in the video. :( This was the second episode that did that.

[@TheMinimalistsPodcast]

Check out the show notes. KZbin flags videos that contain music that we don’t own.

[@vicinityfpv1932]

Josh looking real good over there. Must've been lifting weights.

[@veronicafortunaveronica]

I feel you should try inviting Taylor Swift to these kind of episodes 💡

[@christine8754]

“watch this documentary” me 😅

[@yeshacasseydoes9242]

That is a perfect hair girl😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️ I would die for,for that😍😍

[@principissodalis6864]

Good podcast, but why we can't see the half of her face?..

[@bumblebee803]

Ryan, I've heard of the "suck-hole" too.

[@roboallen5170]

everyone’s missing the whole perspective… the new icarly isnt even icarly no more without sam.. Ever since the beginning it was always Sam, Freddy, and Carly…. Now its just another episode of Friends… i really pray that one day Sam, Freddy, and Carly will reunite again

[@elijahhill6602]

And YOU are missing the whole perspective. Jeanette has my respect in this story. She has the right to refuse to be on the show. Regardless of how massive popular the Sam character is, it doesn’t take the fact she was treated poorly and not taken as a human being, when she’s treated only because she was on TV. Not to mention the substantial amounts of treatment Dan Schneider put her through. What she did took balls. And I understand that. You should too.

[@Kapplerartbloomingdale]

Ednos almost killed me last week

[@EmmaHelmut]

Its a God void but that is an unpopular answer today in this day and age

[@Crambull]

Jennette is my favorite (probably only) post-Disney celeb.

[@ericrainey8224]

Nickelodeon

[@kayleekidman4751]

Nickelodeon but yeah. She rocks

[@angie7486]

You need to marie kondo the justin Bieber music y’all

[@chesterjames5628]

I hope she and Miranda are still friends 🥺🙏

[@skellzzed8255]

Imagine if a god in space was a minimalist. We would have a problem. Black holes everywhere draining everything

[@elizabethdowell5382]

Dude dissing monogamy, but is married 😂Polyamory is animalistic