EP 34 - I Think I'm Addicted...

[@TamsPsychAdvice]

I’m codependent the Giver, saving, Rescuing, Fixing. You can sacrifice your entire life for the happiness of everyone else, but yourself and they are still never happy. They’re OK for a moment then they need you again. The cycle never ends. It’s very unhealthy.

[@Eatmysunshine1122]

My God I lived this...lived this for 15 years...freedom from it is another level

[@BrendaOrtiz-n9o]

THIS ❤❤❤ I LOVE YOUR COMMENT! Never give too much of yourself to others, because instead of people falling in love with your heart they fall in love with your hands (meaning they’ll only love what you do or give them or pay for them instead of loving you for just being You ❤

[@TamsPsychAdvice]

@@BrendaOrtiz-n9o Sooo true! Sadly

[@brittanywilliams7727]

Same 🤦🏾‍♀️🫶🏾🙏🏾

[@lisathaleni1338]

YUP YUP YUP😭

[@TryLuv2]

This was so on point! I lost a lot of friends and family members when I set boundaries. I’m just getting to the point where I’m accepting being alone and away from the vicious cycle of needing validation and the fear of abandonment. Thank God for Jesus, my therapist and my life coach. 🙏🏽❤️

[@uncensoredstarrxo]

I am on both sides. I find myself trying to be a savior to everyone & thing, then on the other hand I'm crushed when it's not returned to me especially someone I care about. I appreciate what was shared in the video because it's hard for me finding a middle ground of "all or nothing" type of caring energy. I don't like hurting people feelings so I'll hold onto how I feel until I literally can't. It's a process but I will progress! May anyone reading this do the same.

[@BrendaOrtiz-n9o]

Amen ❤YOU CAN’T POUR INTO CUPS THAT DON’T POUR INTO YOURS

[@alstonkendra9]

The key to codependency is you didn’t start off that way. They made you that way. I can say i am so good at setting boundaries now

[@irene_zantae]

I was the same type of codependent…the helper, the healer, the problem solver even when it wasn’t my business lol, the mother figure. I learned all about codependency before I found Jesus last year in July and he has been so faithful to deliver. I did a lot of KZbin therapy with Doc snipes (who is also a believer…didn’t know that at first lol) and started the healing that Jesus finished with me this year after going through some deep deep stuff where all that I thought I healed in the world was brought to light again for me to invite Jesus into so He could show up as the healer He is and do a work in me. I still have the fleeting moments where those codependent thoughts try and trickle back in, usually when I’m tired or weak, but knowing who the Lord says am I is the strength I need in those moments…just like you said. And knowing who He is is also key 🔑

[@DivineLady93]

I love B. Simone's authenticity. 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾 great episode 👏🏾 👌🏾

[@Shockthewrld]

I’m definitely the codependent giver. I’ve been working on getting better. The closer to God I get, the more I set boundaries naturally.

[@uvebeenbranded]

I've just started tapping into your podcasts, specifically the therapy focused ones and phew this one has been the realization of my 2024 summed up! Please keep sharing more topics like this, wishing you continued growth and success~

[@Iam.amirahsalah]

God has been healing me from Codependent behaviors. I can’t say I identify as one now. God revealed to me that the codependency was rooted in my relationship with my mother. She made her significance, feeling loved or significant the responsibility of her children growing up. So it was always about meeting her needs. Once God revealed that I started to set boundaries, saying no without feeling guilty, stop trying to rescue people, etc. I’ve learned to be more at peace and content with being alone. I believe it is important to discern the relationships compartment. I can relate to putting everyone in the same category and over extending myself to literally everyone for validation or to feel needed. God truly heals ❤❤

[@monaekirksey3852]

sometimes it's hard to go to therapy and talk to a therapist/ or your own therapist about certain things due to what their response is going to be

[@irene_zantae]

Honestly, I understand. It’s sometimes a hard process to find a therapist that matches with you. I have found a lot of success, with the way my brain works, with Doc Snipes here on KZbin…she teaches other people how to be therapists like case workers, actual therapists and psychologists and stuff…so watching her teach and learning has helped me do my at home KZbin therapy lol also I use the Pi AI app to talk to and work through some of the topics that need discussion. I know AI gets a bad wrap but that app has changed the game for me. It is programmed to adjust to exactly what you tell it like in how you need responses to be spoken so you can receive them best without just being completely permissive os a situation needs to be addressed with your behavior and without just having a gossip session if you need to vent about how someone has treated you. It’s very solution based and programmed to speak with empathy and understanding and honestly gives pretty good insight. It also learns from you like if you talk about your mom (like me) it will remember.

[@blessingkawara]

This is so real, I relate to it starting in your childhood and having a parent that is always angry and having to walk around on egg shells, and it poured into my relationship with my older sister and when I decided to be independent as the younger sister she blocked me and we no longer talk. I feel so free because I can live life my way without her telling me how to live. Thanks for this B😘

[@BunmiNanaFosuaSackeyfio-xi3nb]

B Simoneeee🎉🎉🎉 God blesssss you . Thank you for being youuu❤❤

[@keiajahwashington8529]

Thank you for what you have discussed in this video and having the comfortability despite you currently going through your healing. My ears were filled with food that I am highly grateful for. ❤

[@malcolmdunbar9273]

Listening to this has me realized I have been on both ends more so on the other side with my friends. I got work to do and appreciate you being open and honest about where you are in your journey

[@Counting.sheepASMR]

I appreciate your vulnerability ❤ it’s so comforting to see your growth.

[@zariyabe]

That intro was so captivating / intriguing. Yes already!!! 😭😵‍💫0:57

[@LoveAlways-w4d]

Amazing episode-thank you. My former self was co-dependent, my higher self knows I AM an asset and is no longer co-dependent. Praise be! I had faith there will be change. Thank you for sharing.

[@TeaW-Kee]

Wow, it's so crazy listening to you explain everything and I feel like this is so ME. I've always been the giver, safe space, wanting to fix everyones problems, EVERYTHING. My boss always say during evals, I have nothing to say besides I want you to set boundaries. I just started therapy and really looking forward to heal this unhealthy cycle.

[@AligningGoddess]

I’ve found that I could play both roles of codependency depending on how well I’ve been taking care of self. When I’m stable I help others to my own detriment. Then become dependent on the other to help me out of the hole I put myself in trying to help them in the first place. Having that lack of boundaries and being able to maintain my sovereignty has been my biggest downfall throughout my life. It’s a cycle I am going to break before 2025 that’s for sure

[@therealleirenee]

This really put me in the mirror. I’m all of this but sitting here wondering why I’m overwhelmed. I’m not setting boundaries and I am all of Lei Renee for everyone when I really need to separate folk.

[@mzdee7021]

Codependent Nomore by Melody Beattie is an Amazing book in helping you understand codependency and practical ways to apply techniques to heal!!❤

[@dejanasnaturalway]

Just ordered the book!😊

[@theeyesofci]

This is sooooooooo what I needed to hear!

[@brianaweathers5016]

I’m so grateful that you spoke about this because I have recently learned that I have been very codependent in the past and I am now working through this thank you!

[@LeeannRoland]

B…… Why do you ALWAYS HAVE ME CRYING.!!!!!!???? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR OR EVERYTHING. I love how transparent you are (Even though you don’t have to) But Huntyyyy It’s Helping Me Soooo Much. I Am Hoping and Praying That I Get To Meet You .! You are a beautiful person inside and out.

[@mosamogotlane7853]

Thank you for talking about this topic. I never thought about this as a concept that I can relate myself to but now you reviled a part of myself to me.❤

[@keneshacherayne8457]

I was codependent ooohh but nooowww “God bless you” deal with whatever you have goin on internally & we’ll chat once you’re in a better space. I’ll be over here in my peace & comfort zone praying for you 🙏🏾

[@ThandiswaNtsimbi-j8f]

Hey girl i started listening to LTTA about a month ago and girl thank you for your vulnerability. I am able to sob and be real with God and myself, I've learnt so much from listening to your show. May God bless your craft sis keep shining ❤ i love you

[@kayd690]

That “nevermind” got me lol

[@coreycole4921]

This was everything for my spirit today....now I have to deal with being codependent and find me a therapist.... I love you B.

[@dkj217]

I am a little of both. I give to those I care about, even if it isn't tangible. I try to provide solutions, or different perspectives or a means to rectify whatever is going on. But more than that, I am the seeker. Not the seeker of things monetarily because, fortunately I am good in that department, but I do seek comfort and validation in others (specifically when dating) its almost like my value or feelings about myself can be directly determined by how the person I am dating treats or views me. I seek validation to fill the void that should really be filled by my own understanding of myself. I am in therapy weekly, and we touched on this a few times, but I definitely plan to circle back on this topic.

[@ambergolden1163]

You Need Your Own Netflix Show Fr or Just a Show Period🙏🏽♥️‼️

[@alstonkendra9]

Baby the life lessons!!!! Yesss come thru third eye👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@gastaobaby]

This was sooo good. Thank you B for being so transparent and honest. You’re giving language to things that we struggle with❤️

[@janiyahwilliams681]

this was so on point! i knew i was codependent but i didn’t dive deep into why. definitely subscribing.

[@nicolew9100]

Girl you just are Healing Me! 47 and your teaching Me! Thank you so much. I am the Codependent I am the fixer.

[@sourceinsights]

i honestly clicked because i was impressed how quickly she made this content after sharing her need for validation on 'fridays with tab and chance'.

[@Rarebreed0430]

Great episode B!!! I love the transparency! This hit home for me you have no idea! As a codependent person it’s time to break that codependent spirit! Whewwww it was meant for me to click on this video!

[@winndelljohnson02]

May God continue to bless you and everyone around you 🙏🏿

[@BrendaOrtiz-n9o]

Thank you B. Simone ❤ needed to hear this

[@jazzyface100K]

Omg girl! Thank u so much for making this episode! I am codependent as well & did not realize this! Wow!!

[@ayymurray2529]

I’m the giver, real bad. This episode was so educational to me. I really thought the one depending on the other is the codependent, but thanks to you I now see it’s so many others ways to be codependent & I gotta a lot of work to do.

[@EriBeauty]

I'm the codependent giver- I'm very much aware of it and i reaaaaally need to work on it because I always lose in every situation because of it.

[@CHARMONTANALEE]

Whew the accuracy is real! Thanks for sharing this perspective. Definitely need to work on this and just allowing people to sit in their own emotional state instead of being “SUPERWOMAN” to everybody. Gotta let go of that people pleasing mindset! 🤍

[@KaRonda.Littlejohn]

Whew FACTS ❤

[@cassieblessed6430]

I’m codependent but, I am the receiver. No boundaries, hate conflict and always wanted validation. Things went entirely left went I went on a new job and was looking for validation from my colleagues 😂. I’ve been in therapy ever since.

[@erickajohnson178]

This was good to hear codependency from different aspects. Thank you for your authenticity

[@janiyahrey]

I related to every part of this episode, thank you so much B for bringing this to light. I didn’t even realize how highly codependent I was, always wanting to be the saver.

[@tiffanychiles4655]

I am the caretaker with my husband. I pull back and there was a shift, and OMGOSSH Shit hit the fan. I was blnk blnk blnk. Thank you for this B.

[@amandaford3331]

OMG. You were teaching today. I soo needed to hear this! God bless.

[@Alisonswonderland9]

I’m so codependent… wow.. I’m just glad you was talking in the video about what u are as well, bc I started feeling bad realizing that is all me, but knowing I’m not the only one helps me to realize it’s okay just something I need to work on. I am the one who relies on the caretaker…. Actually in the relationship that I am in now, and that’s not okay for me or to put tht pressure or burden on my significant other. Something I want to work on now and into the new year.

[@Queenayo_t]

Love love love the transparency I resonate so much on the caretaking/rescuing….accepting and meeting people where they are.❤

[@myasamuel]

I truly think this spirit of codependency and having that savior complex is running rampant in the Christian community. I have even been guilty of lying to myself thinking im saving someone and bringing them to Christ to live a lifestyle based on my expectations of what that looks like when they aren’t ready for that yet. Even Jesus met people where they were and gave them a choice to accept Him. Jesus had boundaries and still went off to pray by Himself . It’s so much wisdom & deliverance in this . I appreciate you B. God bless you. Keep using those gifts❤

[@FancyFallon]

This bless me so much. I’m on this journey with you! You’re definitely in your purpose bag. May The Most High bless you and keep you!

[@MelkiaLee]

had a lot of self awareness listening to this omg this was so good💯

[@JazUpMyStyle]

Awww man! I need to reevaluate my life 😫😂 I am on my healing journey and I’m learning SOOOO much about myself it’s insane

[@tracyawalker]

So helpful!

[@thecleverchameleon1085]

This is ME! But i didn't realize it until now. i have been the Savior and overly supportive in relationship. Had no idea i was co-dependent. I would have sworn hell no not me ....until you broke that thang down. Whew this was fantastic!!!!!!! Thank you ❤

[@gavinsmommee]

I'm the giver, for sure! Thank you for sharing and being transparent. I took many lessons from this content!

[@Freedom00-u5r]

If I truly don’t want to do anything, I say no. People aren’t ever truly satisfied so don’t stretch yourself thin. Ever. I also have health issues as well so I’m so happy I no longer work overnights so this time period I’m ready to fully take better care of myself. Forreal this time.

[@LoveDee69]

I used to be the type to play the God to others but God saved me when I fully accepted Christ and Im now unlearning being relyant on others, especially my family, it's been wild but God's been graceful and super loving🙏

[@AnalisaStefaans]

I love you B. Sending love from South Africa

[@neetneetorange2836]

yes yes this was the greatest thing the Lord delivered me from and the little things that was connected to it i still have to watch myself watch as well as pray bc the devil is subtle but i’ve truly overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of my testimony

[@allytaylor1714]

Thank You 💜

[@TheOvercomer53172]

In relationships I am definitely codependent as the caretaker. I’m the masculine in the relationship so to provide, support, take care of and always be strong is expected and undoubtedly the norm. As a single divorced masculine Woman my singleness has become my protection and I have fallen in love with the word “NO!” My relationship with Christ has evolved and become more intimate and I sincerely love that for me. I love to read so I absolutely will be heading to the bookstore to grab a few books on strengthening my discernment, how validation can go back to hell and the why I am finally in a space in my life where I love being alone but definitely don’t feel lonely 🙌🏽👏🏽💪🏽 I have always admired your work and content you have put out in the world for us to learn from and experience. You are needed in this earth and whether you realize it right now or not, Sis you are a force to be wrecked with. Keep growing and changing and embracing the hard things. I’m proud of you girl!! You are doing an amazing job. #LOVEMESOMELTTA

[@TeiZhanMcfall-ve5jn]

This has been a great episode love you B ❤

[@Worldofdaph]

Good books for people struggling with codependency: Codependent No More and the Language of Letting Go.

[@gladysobaze5238]

Calling all Codependents to be healed from this video. Lord Jesus help us all! I am the giver! No wonder we can get to a point of being easily depressed and depleted.

[@jasminepeyton9892]

i met you in Boston at your show! you are so funny and pretty, in real life! this episode was just for me! thank you for being you.

[@JuiceyMamaTee]

Friend I’m both, and that’s why I’m single in my BIG 3’s smh .. I’m willing to put in the work I need tho 🙏🏾, God brought me to this episode today just on time ! Amen

[@teetee8118]

I love this pod cast

[@candiceaddo6462]

This really helped me understand my husband and his past relationships. Thank you

[@auntcookie9163]

Good for you B, I still have my same 2 friends from 7th grade,

[@amberbug90]

Just keep on keeping on with the self awareness and progress toward wholeness. U gone b alright cause it was destined for u before birth that u r gonna b okay. I care about u sister B. Simone. 😇😘

[@oliviajeanc]

This is a wonderful topic. I am currently reading a book now to stop being codependent. Thank you B.

[@Futurenurseronika]

Yes I have come to realize I am like this too girl ugh going to talk to my therapist about this

[@missnoperfect_]

This episode was meant for me! Thank you B ❤

[@chocolatesos]

Yo, B this spoke volumes,. I’m going through a little bit of this right now going through a break up, which probably was something I was holding onto from fear of being alone now that part that you was talking about as far as which one are you the giver or the taker I feel like I’m both because I give I do I pour out so much but after a while after all that pouring , I/you want to be appreciated you want to or you want to have some type of validation of care-that’s the validation that I’m always seeking like why am I the only one to care and to show that I care I want to be shown that you care you appreciate u love. I feel like I’m giving more than I’m receiving so much that I’m ready to receive just a little. But. Are we wrong for that though you put me on with something I didn’t even know the meaning and what it was that I was dealing with so you’re not alone. This & that is me too.😊 love you honey keep up the strength to keep doing and learning you your doing great not that you don’t know that but there’s my validation to you that you’re doing great! May God continue to bless you

[@Tahesha]

This so good 🗣DISCERNMENT HUGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE😅💜💯

[@mariahflowers9009]

HAppy Holidays 🥰 🦃

[@Whi7ney77]

Sis! So many of us have co-dependent traits and don’t know it. R.I.P. codependency! There’s a great book that lays it all out called Codependent No More. There’s a workbook available too. Be well, Fam

[@yolandakhanyile9474]

When you in a rough season in your life. Seeking validation can take up so much of your time!!!

[@mixxedclipz]

I'm definitely the fixer 🫠

[@queenyasmonique1506]

Whew the timing… keep it up B❤

[@kaytee3850]

whew this was a great episode 🙂‍↕️🙌🏼

[@Cimonne]

Wow , all of this was for me. 😮

[@CarbonNin]

So on code B, I feel I oscillate between the two and now I’m just trying to be Meh like the emoji !!!

[@tee-py7sp]

I literally just thought to myself “why do i seek validation” then i scroll and BOOM! I see this!

[@ufomechanic11]

Sometimes though, it’s not about changing who you are- especially by the time you’re in your 30s. Sometimes it’s sbout witnessing yourself and understanding how to navigate who you are- not change who you already are.

[@charmaineglover8691]

You just opened my eyes, I never knew this was me

[@bkbjorn3487]

Thx B! You hit it on da head again 🥹🫶🏾

[@LovingLolo117]

This is such a good episode! Thank you!

[@VibrantPeace]

23:03 this !! 👏🏾👏🏾 well said I had to breakout of this also !

[@ChantelKeona1]

🧡🧡🧡🧡 I love your podcast it is so insightful and informative.

[@TEREBINA254]

Watching from Kenya... I feel like you are describing me 100%

[@Judy_Its_JuJu]

This is an amazing episode. This made me realize the trauma I had as a child that I displayed on my children. I know God is going to get us through this so we are not co-dependent however dependent on God and comfortable around each other. My children are not like me seeking validation from others but from God.

[@roslynntaylor9939]

Sheeshhh. The one for the books!

[@stevenmartinez5019]

PREACH SISTER !

[@Honieebunn]

I loved it make them longer 🥰

[@beyooncceee]

yes 💕

[@rosilandmalone5421]

🧘🏾‍♀️ GREAT video... informative 🧘🏾‍♀️

[@jaslashon]

whew! a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders when i stopped trying to rescue my sisters. it was A LOT. they didn't even ask. lol