ep.40 Can you Choose to be Emotionally Neglected?

[@nisafinnegan]

2:07 Hello Kati, I've had such a horrible week despite my efforts to bring my mood up. And getting myself feeling happy I've just been so tired every day, drained even with sleep. I've been unable to get myself motivated or focused on anything. Then, it just got worse. Now I don't go out because of my anxiety. Just having someone stand near me or a group walk past gets my anxiety going. 15:25 How do you tell the difference between feelings of loneliness, being alone, and being an introvert or “lone wolf”? 21:47 I'm gonna just get straight to the point here - I feel like I always have a desire to be the victim. For lack of a better term, I've experienced a "rush" at the thought of it. I feel uncomfortable if I don't have something "wrong" with me, and it's caused a lot of... 28:02 I opened up with my therapist about part of my past sexual abuse, and I told her that I first realized it was actually sexual abuse when, recently, a friend told me of a similar situation and we both found it disturbing and unacceptable. At the end of the session, my therapist asked me.. 37:28 Is it possible to choose to be emotionally neglected? A few years ago I noticed that I grew way too attached to my singing teacher for it to be considered normal. It led me to believe I have some attachment issues caused by my mother. I thought I... 44:15 I have a random question about therapists and their clients. Is it legal to treat a family member? 51:09 Do you have any recommendations for someone who has multiple conditions they need to work on? I have such a hard time even finding a therapist because I don’t know what to bring up or what is more important. I struggle with anxiety, OCD, ADHD, self-harm (not self-diagnosed), and I... 57:36 Is it possible to have a “favorite person” as it is described in relation to BPD, without having BPD? Since adolescence I’ve... 1:01:39 Since it’s encouraged for people in mental health industries to see their own psychologist from time to time, do you find it hard to “switch positions” and be... 1:06:42 I am a woman who has survived CSA and I have a question: is it normal to be aroused/turned on by the idea of being sexually assaulted? This is never something I would want in real life, but I have daydreamed scenarios of sexual assault often. I am currently in therapy but have never...

[@bdiaz4174]

Thank u

[@nisafinnegan]

B Diaz you're welcomee

[@marrodriguez8859]

Thank you! Every Thursday i am reminded that i am not the only one that feels a certain way.

[@nikkimckay860]

Mar Rodriguez. Hello I like your comment and completely agree and can relate I look forward to these health podcast every week every Thursday kati s podcast is the main part of my day just being here in the comments reading people s comment s and watching kati read question s out and answering them helps calm my mind we all need to feel understood and supportive towards each other here take care mar Rodriguez nice to meet you

[@thestatusquoy]

Holy crap. When you get a question answered that you didn't know you had 💖💖💖💖 thank you ❣️ 😭 ❣️

[@LonelyUtahLib]

"Just because your mom tried, doesn't mean she gave you what you needed" hit me like a ton of bricks. Whoa.

[@Anna133199]

Yes, me too. My mom truly did her best, so I'd feel guilty calling what she did neglect, because she loves me so much and has sacrificed so much to raise me, but sometimes a person's 'best' just isn't enough. Sometimes, they have lots of unprocessed trauma affecting the way they raise their children. I suppose it's alright to acknowledge my mom unintentionally hurt me. It still hurt.

[@sheilarose6121]

Your answer to number 3 legitimately made me cry. Just the fact that you get it. Thank you Kati

[@RoamingD]

Hi Kati! I asked Question 9 from the video. Thanks so much for answering my question! Since asking the question, I have told my therapist about this and we are working on it. At one time I was sure I'd go to the grave with this on my chest. I'm glad I can at least begin to process this stuff and make sense of it all. Thanks again!

[@sarah-ez8mp]

Well I was gonna do my schoolwork but this just popped up in my notifications soooo here we are

[@sarakjeldsen769]

Completely agree that you need to really stop and feel that bad emotion. If you ignore it, it festers for months, or longer, and then when you finally stop to process it later, it's even more painful. Best to let it out as it comes, process it, and then let it go.

[@davidk.7264]

As a man, Iam a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. THANKS SO MUCH

[@lmcwill0502]

Just came upon this video not enough time at the moment to watch . Saving to watch later , I find the title very interesting . I will comment once watched

[@diablominero]

Unless there's an important memory I've repressed, I'm pretty sure I chose emotional neglect for myself, to a much greater extent than the person who asked that question. The support I got from my parents was working for me, and then at some point I stopped seeking it out even though it still seemed to be helping. The only cause I can think of is that I read some books about really independent characters and must have emulated the protagonists. I do tend to emulate fictional characters for a while even when I don't like the things they do. I guess maybe I'd picked up my difficulty seeking help or trusting others and my dislike of physical touch by the time the effect of those books wore off? I certainly didn't have those traits in childhood.

[@Chillingcomfy]

TIMESTAMPS: 2:05 1. Hello Kati, I've had such a horrible week despite my efforts to bring my mood up. And get myself feeling happy I've just been so tired every day, drained even with sleep. I've been unable... 15:17 2. How do you tell the difference between feelings of loneliness, being alone, and being an introvert or “lone wolf”? I really struggle to tell where one starts and the other... 21:45 3. Hi Kati! I'm gonna just get straight to the point here - I feel like I always have a desire to be the victim. For lack of a better term, I've experienced a "rush" at the thought of it. I feel uncomfortable if I don't have something "wrong" with me, and it's caused a lot of... 27:59 4. Hi Kati, ethical / therapy-related question here. I opened up with my therapist about part of my past sexual abuse, and I told her that I first realized it was actually sexual abuse when, recently, a friend told me of a similar situation and we both found it disturbing and unacceptable. At the end of the session, my therapist asked me.. 37:26 5. Hey Kati, is it possible to choose to be emotionally neglected? A few years ago I noticed that I grew way too attached to my singing teacher for it to be considered normal. It led me to believe I have some attachment issues caused by my mother. I thought I... 44:10 6. Hi Kati! I hope you're well. I have a random question about therapists and their clients. Is it legal to treat a family member? For example, if your aunt/uncle or... 51:07 7. Do you have any recommendations for someone who has multiple conditions they need to work on? I have such a hard time even finding a therapist because I don’t know what to bring up or what is more important. I struggle with anxiety, OCD, ADHD, self-harm (not self-diagnosed), and I... Hi Kati, Is it possible to have a “favorite person” as it is described in relation to BPD, without having BPD? Since adolescence I’ve... 57:32 8. Hi Kati, Since it’s encouraged for people in mental health industries to see their own psychologist from time to time, do you find it hard to “switch positions” and be... 61:39 9. Hi Kati! I am a woman who has survived CSA and I have a question: is it normal to be aroused/turned on by the idea of being sexually assaulted? This is never something I would want in real life, but I have daydreamed scenarios of sexual assault often. I am currently in therapy but have never...

[@candytwiggytwist3506]

I would think twice before diagnosing people so quickly! If at all. Especially as we see now, with COVID that anxiety and depression are so much more of a survival responses than illnesses.

[@katelynbrown98]

Thank you so much for this video. I could apply a lot of these questions to different parts of my life. Your advice & speaking voice were so validating & soothing.

[@toni2309]

For me personally, I long to be with people when I'm alone, but then when I'm with people I realize I only like meeting people in theory and find meeting people boring, overwhelming and confusing in practise and long to be alone again. So... idk.

[@Noah-rq3xt]

i feel this :/

[@toni2309]

I did the addition to question number 7 and you're a real life saver there Kati. I really didn't know how to put these things in words and now that I've heard you talk about it if I'm in a situation like that again I know what to say. Thank you.

[@SusieQ78]

Thanks so much Kati, the 1st one really stood out to me. I always appreciate your encouragement.

[@nikkimckay860]

S.M hello just seen your name in the comments how are you doing and how are things where you are from in usa p.s question 1 was from me telling you because we have spoken before and seems we can relate as you said 1st one stood out to you glad I can connect with you 👍

[@SusieQ78]

@@nikkimckay860 hi Nikki, hope you are well. I am a bit behind on watching these videos bc life is crazy right now!!! But good to hear from you :)

[@sarah-ez8mp]

I just read through the questions. I am so happy you are covering favorite person!

[@nikkimckay860]

Hello people in the comments how is everyone doing just trying to relax and been waiting and looking forward to this weeks podcast all week checked the question s and felt anxious they all good and important questions and I like how kati gives as much advice and information as she can much needed to hear it all 👍

[@nikkimckay860]

Kati Morton.🖐 thank you for helping to calm my mind your voice is so soft and calming thank you also for shareing all your answers in deep detail means alot 🙂sending my love from UK to California

[@geckotime7552]

Yes! Been waiting for this thanks Kati!

[@BPW6188]

Love these videos! I look forward to Thursday because of this!! ❤

[@annarostagno8599]

Hi Kati! Thank you so much for going back and looking for questions that had not been answered yet!!! We really appreciate it! I think it made for a really interesting conversation, I lived the topics and how they flew one into the other

[@ashley-vr1cg]

This podcast has been such a help! I hope you have a wonderful holiday season Kati♡

[@TheEdiya]

Choose to be emotionally neglected? If you're a minor, then nope. If you've experienced only neglect in life, then not really. You don't know anything else. I definitely grew up in this environment, and didn't realize how tainted my world view was until I was nearly 30. I can understand how people may have thought I "chose" some bad situations I found myself in, but how do you know not to choose something that is all you've known? Now, at 36, I certainly choose not to seek out human interaction and live a life where there's no choice but to say goodbye to folks regularly (overseas in a mobile community as an expat teacher) because that feels safe (I am always waiting for even my most trustest people to trip me up). I have beliefs and habits that makes it easier for people to manipulate me, but the older and more experienced I am, the easier is to spot problems and address them. The hard part is knowing how. It is annoying being 36 and still lacking experience with how to handle things like a grownup, but that is what being an adult is. Gaining experiences and learning how to better handle things. But being more vulnerable and less experienced does not equate to intentionally choosing a bad situation. ... Now, to actually listen to Katie's response!

[@lmoore149]

I love it when you curse and ramble.

[@merbaumshador7568]

You can be alone and not lonely, and you can be not alone and lonely.

[@psychologicalawareness3672]

Thank you for all these videos! I now feel like I am encouraged to tell my therapist some issues.

[@katiebwheeler]

The avoiding dual relationship question I thought was funny because the counselor that I attended a trauma group with and has stepped in while my counselor has been on maternity leave we discovered attends the same church as me. Lol oddly enough never seen her there though, so hasn’t been an issue :) (several different service times we may even attend on different days..)

[@fredmclaughlan7574]

Thanks Kati! This will sound weird but my Dr knows about my depression & anxiety disorder (many years) but after several tries at this & that no one has any real help avail for me. In fact after all this I'm feeling I'm unhelp able. :(

[@puppys8998]

I’m an emerging clinician and even my caseload is up. I too am afraid of the long standing mental health impacts. We saw the great depression to take years before we saw the true impact.. definitely scary. :/

[@lovegood1376]

Shares this podcast with two of my friends and they LOVED it 🖤

[@brendak4291]

I’ve cried buckets of tears but I’m still surviving!

[@kerrim3667]

when my pastor said we wouldn't be opening back up until June I cried... here we are the next may and still haven't :(

[@kerrim3667]

I reported right with in the state of limitations and they would call and leave messages but all of a sudden the county court just stopped calling and returning calls and it really sucked

[@ryana8246]

Thanks for these videos kati! For a Monday video, could you do one on audio processing disorder? It's something I live with, but is not often discussed. Thanks for all you do.

[@lilz9625]

Katie, TEXAS?!? Wow! What a change, wishing you luck on your move and so excited that you’ll no longer have the small space issues. I’m from the Bay Area, so you know my envy is real lol

[@snuffyscorner]

I'm so happy to get to see this today! Hugs!

[@Krogangirl54]

Where in Texas are you moving? Thank you for all you do. I've been watching your content for years.

[@musicalbethia]

08.03 - anyone else just sitting having a little wiggle and shaking it out? ... hahaha

[@diablominero]

Daydreaming about sexual assault is actually pretty common among seemingly healthy people. It's always possible that the woman who sent in that last question would have had these daydreams even if nothing bad had ever happened to her.

[@danieldini8685]

loved this episode, kati!

[@janetslater129]

Does anyone know why Kati and Sean are moving to Texas? Did I hear that right? Also, in terms of seeing people, I know it sucks because of this COVID situation, but there is a BIG difference in seeing friends virtually, and seeing friends in real life without masks on. To me, zoom, Face Time, Facebook Messenger, etc doesn’t really cut it. Yes, it’s better than nothing, but I feel like a whole level of communication is lost, and that can really add to the loneliness that people feel.

[@janelmiller5935]

So my sister and I were sexually abused by an uncle when we were kids. We just recently spoke of it for the 1st time with each other. He had some legal issues with his sexuality when we were teenagers but we ignored it and remained in denial. Now that we have been able to talk about this a little bit I wonder if more family members should know what he did to us? How do I know what to do with this situation?

[@masbro9540]

Wow its Thursday already?? I feel like I blinked and another week went by. But yay I'm excited for this 😊

[@CathyJennings-kw8ds]

Is opression a mood, or emotion, grief ???

[@milenaciaramella3524]

Can’t wait to see it 😉☺️☺️

[@DeathAngleZoe]

Where do I Ask Kati a question? :)

[@piyusha1912]

Go to the channel and on community tab you will find

[@DontWantToBeRecognized]

She posts in the community tab of this channel on Monday's :) if you subscribe and click the bell for notifications you should see when she posts it so you can leave your question in the comments of her post and the ones with the most "thumbs up's" are normally answered. Hope that helps 🙃

[@rachelcollins9878]

My Question is what does it tell your therapist if you self harm on inner part of your arm ?

[@franciscolaiuppa2745]

Love these videos 🥰

[@azeemnawaz5531]

Nice

[@toomylight2311]

I must be the only person that Covid didn’t affect , because I live like that anyway .

[@judehauer6145]

I would strongly suggest that you go back and edit your response to the question about where the patient wants to know why she reacted to her therapist responding with concern to situation that the patient told her about after not responding to that situation when it happened to the patient. That therapist messed up.

[@milenaciaramella3524]

Woop woop first 💜💜💜

[@josephswafford7578]

🐦🌸

[@CathyJennings-kw8ds]

Why??

[@piyusha1912]

Omg