Ep. 51 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

[@GW-ou9om]

The stare into the camera and sly smile Tom does when Bert is falling apart during a story brings me so much joy.

[@drewgood123]

Its the only time I feel joy

[@joemagnifico9649]

😂😂 so true

[@braddonsmith]

This is quite literally why I still watch.

[@dungensAreDragons]

Got a time stamp?

[@iizdj]

Ha bobby Lee nailed it

[@youngrichardnaus8423]

Legit LOL'ed at Nadav saying "hold on a sec ill google it for ya!" And Bert and Tom just continue.

[@ericschinn]

Agenda In Mind YEAAAHHH!!!!!

[@jeremiahbachmann3901]

Imagine how much better this show could run if there were a Native replacement...unless it is just an act.

[@V8HiluxZX6R]

@@AgendaInMind 🙄🤦‍♂️ you do know that Google doesn't count as a credential right?!

[@well_as_an_expert_id_say]

@@AgendaInMind idk how, but you typed all of that and still managed to look stupid

[@shawnmcvey7789]

@@AgendaInMind I heard you said that.

[@s_a_n_e]

i like to listen to the whole ad so that i can hear tom speak when brent is here

[@jpk51]

Holy shit I’m just realizing I never skip ads when Tom is reading on 2 bears because I never hear him talk 😂

[@daxk3385]

This is so true. Never before this moment have I realized that I do it too. You've redpilled 2b1c.

[@Doorito_]

You're like the most dedicated sheep

[@s_a_n_e]

@@Doorito_ ah to be 14 again

[@MaraMash]

@Not Mick Blotters But that's my current complaint

[@sarahf.5988]

Bert’s movie pitch for Fat Astronauts is literally Christina’s idea to blast idiots into space. 😂

[@matthewsydney5594]

💯

[@GRock5k]

🤣

[@indonesianwaffles4402]

Bro I was thinking that too!

[@citizenmatt1877]

😹

[@Seabass_Fiction]

that is what cultural appropriation feels like

[@sinkuskidd]

Someone: *breathes* Bert: “This is a good episode”

[@tyleredwards1449]

Tom staring at the camera then smiling as brent stumbles through a story is tremendous.

[@ISUCyclone98]

Brent

[@albertgarcia9273]

Your use of tremendous is tremendous. Keep featherin it brother.

[@zachdaniel7245]

One... Hundred percent

[@michaeldickens3737]

2 Bears alternate title: Bert calls people that never answer.

[@sassafras710]

getting curved with Tom and Bert.

[@davyjones2994]

Leann would screen that call

[@christaylor1122]

@@sassafras710 Brett*

[@alifelesstoxic1253]

Niki Glaser answered, that one time.....

[@jaymo7703]

It's to the point in our society that you really need to text someone first and ask if you can call them.

[@amykinssss5877]

Brent talking nonsense while Tom side eyes the camera really gives me The Office, Dwight & Jim vibes... I’m here for it

[@darrensucksatgames]

Except Bert is Michael, not Dwight.

[@darrensucksatgames]

nailed it though!

[@DeadboyG59]

Dwight is smart though

[@SAHtoshiDude]

These two are friends on an entirely different level. They dream about and actually do things together that are absolutely mental. I love it

[@thebrutebrody8182]

Bobby Lee has to play the “lead engineer” on the shuttle. But the character is hardcore Japanese. I’m talking ancient samurai Japanese. Even though he’s Korean, but honestly, we all don’t care about the difference. Absolutely NO ONE understands him, but he’s the guy who knows the ins and outs of the entire shuttle.

[@mrconancat]

This would be a great mod for the spaceship add-on in Fallout 3

[@danielpenrodii2389]

All I think of is his North Korean scientist bit from MadTV. He’d be perfect

[@NeedITDeathHeated]

Genius

[@alexdigregorio4768]

and Distefano is one of the hot pornstars that gets sent up with the girls by accident

[@almightykermit2626]

or just talk as white as he can but none can understand him like full english

[@delpianodario]

Josh Potter as a line judge is the best joke of the day.

[@kylenathan2256]

It beethoven could write music potter can be a line judge

[@theartofknob]

This deserves way more credit that it has gotten.

[@Clem_Kadidlehopper]

With his glasses he will see the faults before they happen...

[@ΑποστοληςΠαραδεισης]

@Team Apatow lol pocket replied you sry bout that

[@sumguy8]

Bert correcting people's pronunciation is a nightmere

[@nexttime4532]

*nightmare

[@scotttenerman9191]

*nightmere

[@nexttime4532]

Nithgmare

[@owenpatch9682]

Lol

[@gnarf250]

@@nexttime4532 lol joke went right over your head. Gotta love it

[@ItsJoKeZ]

bert: "is that what I sound like?" tom: "kinda" bert (not listening): *keeps talking over him*

[@qwerty4134]

I just consider this his podcast at this point

[@idab6864]

It's insane that Bert will fully show his body while wearing a speedo but just won't take off his hat

[@LGG393]

Hahahaha

[@imjustapancake3188]

I wish he wasn’t so insecure about his hairline and stuff :(((( plus hats literally make ppl bald 10x faster if you wear them 24/7. Kinda wish he would take the hat off and embrace his hairline, he’s a handsome man

[@woroworo69]

LMFAOOO as a balding man, with a tolerable dad bod, i get it 🤣🤣🤣

[@turtleboypurp]

Bert talking about people sharing their feelings and crying.. Tom: "It feels good" bahaha

[@Mike-ym1cg]

Bert: "Should we run this by our wives?" Tom: "Shut up." 🤣🤣

[@cornjobb]

yeah, the part in every show when a wife is called is always the lowlight.

[@joeclark5095]

Can we do an episode with just Bert talking, and just Tom's hilarious faces. Oh wait, there's like 40 of them.

[@apocshadow1217]

I was about to say. This is every episode

[@alexlavender9]

Thats not Berts fault

[@WolverinesGaming]

45 of them*

[@thedonofthsht76-58]

Bert LOVES the sound of his own voice

[@zachduran314]

Berts got a fat head and a fat heart. Hes so fat, but GD do I love him. Unlike LeeAnn

[@TopLob]

Nadav: "Let me google that real quick for ya." Tom: "Uhm..."

[@franciscogonzalez446]

“I don’t mind getting pegged”... I literally died laughing! Bert, now u will know what dogs feel when they’re with u lmao!!!!!

[@arryospeedwagon]

Bert's attitude towards his fanbase and whatever way any percentage of them may or may not be leaning politically has made me respect him more than I ever have. The way he described the whole Twitter pole situation in the first 10 mins of this ep shows how genuinely intelligent he actually is. I love the slovenly party mongoloid persona he has, but the dude is a pretty sharp guy.

[@RDSwords]

They need a "Bert is Talking" song that will play and cut Berts mic while we watch Tom's facial expressions.

[@darrensucksatgames]

While a piano plays The Entertainer slowly

[@abdaniel487]

@@darrensucksatgames and out of tune, of course

[@kieran8720]

Lmao uh-HUNDRED percent

[@ghostface3655]

Ahhhhhh hundred percent!

[@idab6864]

This is an amazing idea

[@xeniousthe2nd432]

Skip ads here: 1st ad - 1:30 2nd & 3rd ads - 29:48 4th & 5th ads - 1:02:32 👍👍

[@jonathancarranza6046]

Thanks man

[@smartlady4019]

Much appreciated.

[@goomba7495]

Clutch

[@utlonghorn86]

Very high and tight mommy

[@jobbysandwich1797]

a man of honor

[@ethanhutchins3812]

On this episode of “Whose not going to answer Bert’s phone call?”... Sebastian Maniscalco!

[@Dirtbiker463]

I wouldn’t even answer a phone call from him.

[@TheHiyy]

@@Dirtbiker463 I wouldn't even answer a phone call to him.

[@Dirtbiker463]

@@TheHiyy hahah

[@conormartin8894]

Imagine if Joe Rogan spent 20 minutes each podcast just listening to dial tones.

[@visionofdisorder]

except people would actually pick up if it was rogan, or have given him the right number in the first place

[@chriscornelius6669]

That's like, ageist man! Dial tones don't exist anymore unless using archaic land lines. :P

[@AdrianMartinez-eb9wu]

Point of personal privilege...

[@4billyba]

People would just talk about how great his dial tones are.

[@renren3511]

Currently have a fever of 38.5 and my body feels like shit, 2 bears 1 cave is the way to go

[@rishabhsharma8380]

Forget "Fat Astronauts", just call the movie "Earf".

[@mattklem]

when they said they're getting Josh Potter to be the line judge I legitimately died

[@TheOrlandoTrustfull]

I wish you did

[@thedonofthsht76-58]

RIP

[@mattklem]

@@TheOrlandoTrustfull me too

[@LuckyLuch1]

I didn't get it until I read this comment, that's fantastic.

[@tslaww]

RIP

[@pekerhed101]

For the set of "Fat Astronauts", they can just use Rogan's new studio.

[@stacymorisikern2965]

That’s a great idea 🤣

[@rdf629]

And of course Joe will be in the movie as well

[@igotworms]

For the scene when NASA sends them to the center of Earth instead of space.

[@BirdOfHermes83]

Add one more " S " in there

[@barrycarpenter]

Yesss! That would totally work.

[@edgar6368]

“Ooh I wouldn’t mind getting pegged”*immediately hears himself and tries to hide like he doesn’t know* “what’s pegging?”

[@JohnRalsten]

The conversation at the beginning of this episode is a perfect example of people not understanding Twitter isn't the real world. For the most part, it's just an echo chamber that most people have come to simply ignore. The people who are on Twitter 24/7 don't understand this though. They believe literally everyone is on Twitter and use it as much as they do.

[@justinwoods2757]

"I'm not in therapy anymore" "Why?" *Goes on to describe extreme paranoia and dishonesty* Yeah, that sounds like Bert. Definitely doesn't need therapy lmao

[@1062bill]

Then they both blame "bots" for taking over an informal Twitter poll...because Russia is always after Twitter polls!

[@OctobersOblivion]

1062bill non-Russian bits are a real thing ya tiktok

[@TheOutdoorDude]

@@1062bill Right! Because it's not at all possible that people that like him actually like Trump. Lol Burnt Christmas is hilariously dumb.

[@xxjabarri2xx]

@@1062bill nice try bot

[@jmorgan2324]

@@1062bill Pretty sure the analytics company hired to track twitter engagement knows what happened.

[@dylanvaccaro6919]

When Tom looks straight at the camera after Bert says some wild shit is always my favorite

[@kylecooper4433]

The cost of craft services alone would bankrupt "Fat Astronauts".

[@etiennevcr9276]

If the match doesn’t go well, I propose more promos and other sports matches between them. Perhaps diving? Hurdling race? Pole vault jumps? Fencing? Badminton? Gymnastics floor routine? Trampoline gymnastics? Equestrian?

[@LiquidDaylight]

Equestrian... LOL.

[@DioxideCad]

The show is actually fantastic! My favorite episode is the one with Bobby.

[@nataliaprado2337]

Tom in nutshell: "I like people crying or scared"

[@TheMageAcademy]

Imagining Tom not being able to restrain himself from murdering the pornstars in outer space is hilarious xd

[@benbrown5495]

Yes! Mainly because they slightly annoyed him. One left laundry out, one didn’t clean her coffee mug, one changed the channel from murder shows etc..

[@antoineboileau4194]

That’s what happens when they get stingy. They’ve been warned.

[@scottwillome7681]

13:00 Tom has turned into Jim from the office whenever Bert (Michael Scott) says something insane!! 😂😂😂

[@nate.draws.things]

Tom not knowing what CBT is, was the biggest surprise of this episode.

[@ipody2]

I don't care what people say about Bert, but he's freaking hilarious and we need more of the 2 bears 1 cave podcasts on lock

[@ItsJoKeZ]

you can tell from this episode that Tom has already won tennis psychologically. see how Tom let out no information of his strengths or tactics- while Bert let out his best (and worst from overtalking). Clearly his overexcitement will get the best of him, Tom knows lowering his confidence early will win him the long game.

[@tommycloutier5257]

Bert is probably going to win by mistake haha

[@Naltddesha]

That’s quite the psychological analysis

[@joelav91]

He's learned alot from the Bert vs Ron foot race video

[@allenlord3679]

I'll bet $100 that bert starts crying and bitching about something not being fair or something along those lines

[@wadekillman1198]

They both win considering all the money the live event and this podcast bring in.

[@apsi8900]

Tom’s tennis promo is UH-HUNDRED times better that brett’s

[@DNYGdj]

Flag

[@Terriblegolfer16]

False

[@sixtyninety]

than*

[@sixtyninety]

👀

[@CNMedia.Service]

Literally thought that with Brett’s voice!

[@MrBobbyfresh]

Isn’t bert the same guy that told Roy Choi that his food truck was a bad idea??? And he pitches a condiment truck?????

[@Revolution1117]

Hey, here's an idea: Put the condiments on the food truck. Oh wait, they already do that. Jeezus, Bret. 🙄

[@kligz30]

Bert told him it was a bad idea.. Roy used to be his neighbor.

[@DioxideCad]

Bert and Tom should have a Patreon. The patrons can pay between $5-$50 a month for different service, each tier having unique services or goods. $5 fans get episodes early and maybe something else, $50 patrons get a piece of merch every month and maybe an outtakes episode or something special just for them. Like an uncut episode from Bert's tour, or some pre-show talk. If 1/10 of the viewers for last episode paid $5 a month, that's around $278,000 a month, which is around $3,336,000 per year.

[@phill8008]

Bert once again revealing the location of his house, to known criminals this time

[@JacobC479]

Its startling how ignorant he is about shit like that lmao

[@TheOrlandoTrustfull]

LeeAnn Kreischer has the patience of a saint

[@alycesteidinger2419]

I'm convinced she's a hostage at this point.

[@IvorKC3]

Bert's space movie should be called "Fat Astra"

[@hettel_visual]

That's pretty good, but i'd go "Fat Asstra"

[@chowly]

@@hettel_visual Ed Asstra

[@zackflora6165]

Two asteroids on Uranus

[@mdougf]

LOL

[@mykeadelic]

Fatstronauts

[@Ignition_Spark]

I think Nadav is one of the best producers in the game right now. But he’ll probably delete this comment instead of pinning it by accident.

[@bluetextbooks]

So you want to be pinned?

[@paulwrongtime2131]

He's a pretty dope jew

[@Ignition_Spark]

East Awesome You can pin me bro. Piss on me. Beat me. Try it out.

[@nosaj666]

No

[@DillenWilliams]

😂😂😂

[@kelvarnsen1749]

LMAO Bert is paying people to click "detail expand" on his tweets

[@Dowinohue]

I’m a huge 2 bears fan and a giant Arm Chair fan. Not trying to speak for him, but he’s said things about wanting to do podcast because he’d done a couple and really enjoyed the longer format for discussion and freedom. I’ve really enjoyed the Expert on Expert series, lots of interesting conversations.

[@codyl7066]

Bert: says 5000 words wrong, talking about Dax Shepard saying 1 word wrong.

[@Catgirl_Online]

Dax made the CHiPS movie tho

[@dillonknight199]

@ he made it

[@NINJA4AMERICA]

LeeAnn-"If you tell a story it's not going to be true" Bert- "I hate when she does that" Also Bert- "I keep adding stuff when I tell a story and mess it up"

[@v13cc99]

Bert: “imagine if we made a movie for just the people watching” That’s usually how those movie things work

[@friedrichjangeorgr5724]

Watching this...

[@Astrohhh]

He meant this podcast

[@xslonk]

15:15 This is why I love these two haha. Something so inane turns into a public challenge lol!

[@tylerbrown3693]

Im so glad this released today. Was having a rough day till now

[@josephdavis2695]

Fatstronauts. How did he not think of “Fatstronauts”? I guess post-nut clarity doesn’t apply when you bust in a Goldendoodle.

[@holesauce3303]

lmao

[@rudymcrudy964]

U need Theo Von for those quick comebacks.

[@pie21able]

Fat Asstronauts

[@ttro5606]

Ok ok, hear me out.... Fat-Asstronauts

[@kylethem9969]

@@pie21able that made me laugh my ass off for no fuckin reason

[@hepatitisatoz5666]

Bert: "i pay an analytics company to breakdown my tweets" Bert's analytic company: *clicks on the analytic button that is on everyone's tweets and bills him $1000*

[@ItsWithakayLee]

😭😂😂😂

[@wishiwasabear]

Bert: "I wish that they were a sponsor because I drink it so much" *sponsors jump in* Also Bert: "I wish that they weren't a sponsor so I didn't feel like a shill everytime"

[@Graypigs29]

Tom: "What's CBT?" Everyone: *voice overlay plays*

[@R94jax]

I haven’t watched 2 Bears 1 Cave in a while, but Tom and Burt are looking pretty good since the last time I watched. Y’all are amazing! Thanks for the laughs!

[@seansean7814]

Dude, Tom's promo was Nike, and Bert's was a kid who makes "adidas" in his garage while smoking crystal meth.

[@nosferdanku3093]

Tom = Nike Bert = Nike at home

[@officialroxxmusic]

I’ll literally drop $50 on Fat Astronauts. Holding Corp for life.

[@ryansouthard4929]

Yup

[@mimigiggles4199]

They're going to save Erff

[@zwichert1872]

How has this not already been greenlit?!?!?

[@joshcalvo]

me too! Although, it would be Fat-Asstronauts.

[@Dylanlovesrain]

@@joshcalvo underrated comment

[@SleepyHooligan]

Tom has found a way to say what we are all thinking with facial expressions, because Bert is always talking 😂

[@Shock1ng98]

The phrase "I wouldn't mind getting pegged hu." Sparked a level of excitement and evil on Tom's face that I dont even think he knew he had.

[@mariaelizabeth1401]

Notice how Tom is the "Jim" of The Office. Lots of staring directly into the camera and making faces when Bert (a.k.a. Michael Scott) says something SO absurd :)

[@nbfoot7745]

“Ooh I wouldn’t mind getting pegged... what’s that mean?” -Bert

[@RypticVODS]

Coming from the guy that searches for "quicksand" and "stop-motion Japanese" porn, I find it very hard to believe he's in the dark about pegging.

[@elspach15]

@@RypticVODS bert clearly brought it up to his wife and she thought it was weird so now he is ashamed to admit it.

[@williamblair-]

I love how Bert said “you’ve got this measly $100 in your pocket you’re just gonna spend on booze” then 10 minutes later says “they want regular Americans like Tom and I”

[@xrmighty]

Got off at 1am, played warzone till about 5am, and then they uploaded this at 6am, guess I'm pulling a Bobby Lee tonight.

[@crazypath573]

You lead an extravagant life. Dont get too big for your britches

[@alcoholismscornerofmemorie9070]

How did you stay up that long after jerking it?

[@ReyShady05]

Have you been on the underground subways in warzones

[@kylethem9969]

@@alcoholismscornerofmemorie9070 also curious, that’s like natural Xanax

[@garrettdoran222]

"i'm very aware i'm being recorded" says the man who accidentally dropped his friends phone number on a podcast, twice

[@michaelg1822]

Tom and Bert pitch the South Park episode "Go fund yourself" for the 3rd episode in a row

[@dannyvzsz]

Josh potter, the visually challenged line judge. Perfect man for the job !

[@danielhiggins-sanchez2106]

‘Micro investing in Africa, I don’t even know what that is’😂😂 Jesus Christ this is why I never miss an episode

[@brasilboy3]

Can't wait till Bert gives out his number, address, and SSN during the live show

[@matthewlpowell]

What Bert said about his deathbed was so unexpectedly touching. I'm not crying, you're crying.

[@TheBiggestSqueeze]

Tim's tennis video was far superior

[@jacobmatto2514]

"Fat Astronauts" would be a fantastic KZbin series. 10min episodes with a comedic emphasis and some continuity along episodes. PLZ make this happen!!!

[@GuinessHangover]

Guy with massive impulse problems who just bought $700 shoes: "I have a hard time spending money." Then 30 seconds later "I spent extra money on an ice-machine."

[@die4race]

They're both millionaires , 700$ is like 70$ for them...

[@GuinessHangover]

@@die4race the fact that Tom immediately says "JESUS!" when he finds out they cost $700 suggests otherwise.

[@letsgotomarsman]

@@GuinessHangover the shoes don’t retail for that, so paying resell for that much is crazy

[@brixkidd6971]

I got the Off White 5s for crazy cheap and got asking price on GOAT.

[@Yophillips3272]

$700 they better tie by themselves like back 2 future shit.

[@tuppettoucher]

"I'm going to take these away from you" is the most calm and terrifying threat Todd's ever made.

[@timothyritchie2553]

I laughed so hard with that one

[@111matt]

Having a lame day. Turned this on and I'm laughing. Thanks Bert

[@Gamerthawin]

Love when burt trys to talk about conversations, listened to podcast long enough to know most truthful thing about his stories are the names of people in it 😆

[@mikeconti4360]

Make the movie Kevin Smith-style. Aimed toward his fans, no promotion, outside his podcasts and soc. media. He takes the film around the country/ world by renting the venue a presenting it city by city- four walling.

[@Abitflippant]

Use low budget sets like those fake private jet interiors the influencers are renting to show off.

[@sp7186]

this podcast has an international audience who would like to watch it as well

[@stoptryingtousemyrealname]

just don't let it suck like his new stuff... good plans... nice guy... omg these things bllooowww

[@darrensucksatgames]

Somebody show Tom the Hobo Spider bite from the OG Smodcast

[@troyjeffrey4311]

OMG and an hour of standup beforehand (15 min sets to set the mood), the movie, and then a live podcast with a Q&A. Genius! It'll never happen....

[@JesusHComedy]

We need more “Nadav is googling” music

[@Theejake76]

Best thing about monday mornings

[@abigailstraube5536]

Agreed

[@BjsSkates]

Uhhhundred percent

[@travisgosnell6790]

"I don't even know what that is but it seems like something the Mormons would do" im fucking crying from laughter

[@mezrahmasada5494]

That speech by Bert at the end about wanting LeeAnn to be there when he dies melted my heart

[@BarDownSnizzzzy19]

Whitney seems like the worst honestly

[@RolandSpecialSauce]

She is.. she's turned her back on 2 good friend instantly and even took their podcasts down. She'll turn on anyone in a blink of an eye. No one is really her friend. She's Hollywood through and through.

[@YizzERR]

@@RolandSpecialSauce wait, what happened?

[@avadventuregear]

Yep. Not even funny too. Her podcast is shit. She shat on D and callen. Schaumburg slotted her floppy

[@BarDownSnizzzzy19]

At the end of the day her wick is almost out and that candle of a face is dripping off like this mornings glue shoot. Its what it is cuz

[@RolandSpecialSauce]

@John S no shit captain obviously! his job was to be a clown. Do we really have to explain to you what a comedian is?

[@podespault]

those shoes are the purest expression of Bert being drunk. They look like they were designed by a drunk guy

[@officialroxxmusic]

Brent sampling Randy Moss “straight cash homie” and Allen Iverson “practice” in his promo won him a little love back in my book

[@ENigma-um8zw]

Tom’s Tennis Cold War game got knocked on down a peg, his promo was good, but bert had better it factor, and plays the mind game like he speaks of and Tom plays better long game. I think Tom will win but I could also see the dimension where in where bert Wins too. It’ll be fun :)

[@421less1]

I have a hard time imagining bert beating tom at anything that isn't dog fucking, or bare hand asswiping.

[@SteveCossaboom]

Bert on every cast, especially his own cast: The MOMENT he hears about something he doesn't have, he orders his sound guy to "Buy it". Bert here: You know me and money, I just don't stupidly spend money (talking about his $700 shoes he bought from a designer he's never heard of, and, didn't know about the tags deal): I was drunk. Bert any other time: I'm always drunk.

[@bedelian]

I never thought I'd say this, but Bert actually just gave one of the most intriguing insights into the current state of American politics. The fact that he was able to see how many bots engaged with that poll. It's clear to see that the comments you see online are not at all reflective of the way people will vote.

[@grayson0916]

Bigger point its set up to drive "engagement" regardless of side effects

[@AnonTheRant]

Bert "Longwinded Celebrity Story" Kreischer

[@fingertipsthedrummer]

Tom: "im gonna take these away from you..." Me: Beer pouring out of my nose

[@facina3390]

Bert has to stop reading negative comments. He’s going to give himself a heart attack over nothing. It’s just words on a screen.

[@Dean.Crockett]

He should keep reading them. Bert is the worst.

[@axlrosegnr]

He needs to read every comment very carefully. Then sit and reflect.

[@Chris-sk6fg]

He needs to do the opposite of what you suggest. Those "words on a screen" are fans real feelings. They can keep alienating their fan base for the left if they want to. Not the best career move imo...

[@JayRossProductions]

he'll have a heart attack from laughing too hard before that happens lmao lol haha hehe poopoopeepee

[@Ozhull]

He's got narcissistic obsessions. It's gross tbh

[@xXjordaanXx]

The joy bert has saying "this is the best episode of all time!" Is basically the same energy as a kid saying "just what I always wanted!"

[@omartheodore]

The Cabin on netflix is making my 2020 so special.. I emailed them several times that I need to see you and/or Joey Diaz on there and now I get both!

[@HarrisonNevel]

Bert, let me hook you up with the people at stadium goods, we can get you laced up with some new sneakers 🤔

[@KyleFox2]

Yo hook them up

[@Bombsteezy]

He’s rich, give ME kicks

[@jonanderson5137]

You shoe guys really like to show each other how your holes spit. Ya know, like the gays.

[@eugenebridge6157]

Jon Anderson what does that even mean

[@Blessed2bFresh]

@@jonanderson5137 that's beautiful

[@kawaiiafangirl]

I will be extremely disappointed if Tom doesn't win the tennis match.

[@Clem_Kadidlehopper]

Sounds like he did from what Bert mentioned on Bill Bill Bert but of course Bert is saying Tom is taking advantage of his kindness. You know being a whiny bitch.

[@brixkidd6971]

Bert will win. Bert is the kinda dude who never gives up, and is good at shit for no reason. 😂

[@Chillibe]

@@brixkidd6971 Have we been watching the same podcast?

[@brixkidd6971]

@@Chillibe you were saying??

[@rad._.3]

The best part of waking up, is Bert interrupting in your cup.

[@s.leszczynski5966]

Bert: “I’ve been a registered Democrat my whole life” Bert at show in Prescott AZ: “I just find out I’m a registered Republican”

[@MachSea]

No way... It's almost like they're Hollywood O=

[@cawkmongler69]

It’s almost like he’s a comedian who makes jokes constantly

[@Mason-bo5pi]

Its called a comedy show no where near the truth

[@spraysazo]

The Netflix show Bert has is genius, havent laughed that hard since i first seen Bert shirtless. Hilarious guys stay blessed