Ep 6D: Family Court Timeline & Process - Bias Against Dads

[@FatherX2022]

If you are going to navigate this family court process, you need to understand the steps involved and the overall timeline and trial process. Many dads often get vague, 60-second advice about how the trial process will go...even from their lawyers! That’s definitely not good enough to guide you or help you plan ahead. So I use my own 3-year timeline to show you a real example of what can really happen along the way. Your trial process in your state, given the facts of your case, will certainly vary from mine. Each case can have a different path. And this episode will get you well-grounded enough so that you can start asking the right questions and head in the right direction. The last thing you want is to always just be reacting to whatever the next random step is in the process. Plan ahead. Or else you are likely to get steamrolled.

[@tinaf600]

This is such a great detailed video. Thank you from a wife helping her husband fight for custody of his son.

[@FatherX2022]

Glad it was helpful!

[@Justinsatiable]

You have no idea how helpful this is to us dad's out here trying to fight for even partial custody

[@FatherX2022]

Thank you, brother. I know the demons you are facing in that court room, so I'm glad I can help. I don't know the specifics of your case, but please recognize that if the court is assuming you should be an alternate weekend parent, or less...there's a high probability the court is wrong, and just acting on gender bias. So if you have done the analysis and you think you should be a 50/50 or primary custodial parent, stand your ground. Prepare a masterful case and overwhelm the court with reality during your trial. I know it's hard, but don't settle just because the culture of the courtroom is oppressive to dads. Good luck to you and your kids.

[@Mrjones-ed7hi]

We should sue the government not being able to have equal custody of our children is linked to profits for the states.

[@FatherX2022]

I advocate suing, because when they start losing millions, it can force change. I think you would sue your state, in federal court, for a) gender discrimination, for rubberstamping the mother for custody, without actually analyzing the best interests of the child, and b) intent to defraud, forcing the dad to be a child support payor, just to get more title 4D funding from the feds (I think the fraud comes into play when state courts lie, claiming its in the best interest of the child for dad to be non-custodial...without actually analyzing the best interest factors.)

[@Perpetuallyoffended]

You would think that attorneys defending dads would be fed up with this bullshit and try to put their resources together to fight it.

[@FatherX2022]

I hear you. But the vast majority of lawyers represent both men and women. They alternate clients. And they get paid based on how the system works. So they don't have the proper incentive or courage to change it.

[@dianetigert1310]

The Attorney is an officer of (THEIR COURT). Title 28 U.S.CODE 607 says they have no authority, lawful right to practice law with you. Sense money is being exchanged all and for your cause, demand to inspect the 1040 tax filings regarding YOUR case!! File a complaint with the IRS if they refuse to comply. Sense orders were in the case, you can file at anytime challenging those orders. Child Support is notorious for violating those orders in modifying them without a court order. Interrogatories for genuineness of documents and truth of facts is your best recourse and the Appeals Court is your remedy.

[@Gobekatalim]

I am challenging with very similar case! You are absolutely right from ground to sky! 🙏🏼

[@FatherX2022]

Thanks, Oz...hope my strategies can help you, too.

[@gymbossrebirthpodcast]

We are seeking a level of fairness from this party.

[@jonpoyner3182]

I really appreciate these man. I really look forward to the next one

[@FatherX2022]

I'm glad these are helpful to you. I'm working on the next one now and I think it will be ready by Sunday morning.

[@jakstorm3180]

Judge drags it out makes the state a lot of money

[@FatherX2022]

Yes, that's right. Judges have the incentive and the ability to just give temporary custody to the lower-earning parent to maximize child support, even if it's in the worst interests of the child. And then they can drag out a custody trial for years....until they make the correct custody decision and give primary custody to the better parent...Assuming they actually do the right thing instead of continuing to milk that high-income parent for child support money. The system is ripe for fraud.

[@user-ye3tx8mz8o]

The fact that you "need" a plan, is all you have to say. I had a child abuser and so many other bad character flaws, take the children Scott free, without any "evidence" of her lies. They even gave her the kids back after almost killing one, The system had a goal. Take father out of the way.

[@FatherX2022]

Exactly....and now I have to make these videos to help dads overcome the courts...because of stories exactly like yours. It's a shame what courts do on a daily basis. Thanks for speaking up.

[@lifeafterdeath1]

You are such a strong man going through all this and growing wisdom and sharing to help others thank you. sharing

[@FatherX2022]

Thank you for the positive feedback. I know that countless fathers go through the same thing I went through, except that they get chewed up by the system. So I want to teach fathers everywhere the dirty tricks used by the family court system. If you go in eyes wide open and know what to expect, your odds of success are better. But we still need to overhaul or abolish family court.

[@Everything-One]

I am astonished of how did we get to this point of having such a distorted family justice! Most people have no idea.

[@FatherX2022]

Agreed. It's so distorted, we have to throw the entire system away and start all over. I fear that if you just overhaul it, but keep the same incompetent family court employees, you'd have the same incompetent outcomes.

[@AlexGarcia-lt2lh]

I’M GOING THROUGH THE SAME & I KNOW I GOT THE WIN AS WELL… PRAY TO GOD HE WILL OPEN DOORS FOR YOU TO SUCCESS A FAMILY CUSTODY BATTLE.

[@FatherX2022]

Good luck to you, Alex. Praying is good. But make sure you spend many, many hours preparing your testimony, evidence, and witnesses...to prove the best interest factors show you are an equal or better parent. Stay strong, brother!

[@fffrfrw]

This system is utterly digusting

[@FatherX2022]

Yes. Yes it is.

[@user-ye3tx8mz8o]

Just walk away from that garbage. They grow up. They know. Our children KNOW what's the truth, and it starts coming out around 12. The children become angry and by the time they are adults, "mother" gets a reassessment from the children.

[@FatherX2022]

Undoubtedly, that scenario plays out often, as children get older. But it's hard for many dads to just walk away from that garbage in court. In other words, why would I have to forego raising my child from the age of 4 years old until 15 years old, when my child can finally decide himself to move in with me? All just because an incompetent judge wants this outcome? Think about all the unnecessary damage on the child. That's hard to swallow. The solution is not for you to quit. The solution is for judges to get fired. And for custody orders to be audited by a 3rd party for sensibility (somebody Outside of the family court system...not a lawyer).

[@user-ye3tx8mz8o]

@@FatherX2022 To each his own. I had my life literally threatened/been physically rat packed,and is threatened to this very day. That's one of the main reasons I had to drop everything. I couldn't risk being around that situation more than I have been snuck up on already. To have it in my face all the time, Something BAD could have happened quickly.

[@cincinnatias]

My first thought after listening to this whole video was: you had a lot of income to spend on attorney fees over a 3yr span. Not to menion the $25,000 fee for the investigator that the jusge order. Not too many fathers have that income to fight for 3yrs. They would be financially broke and homeless by the end of the 2nd yr.

[@FatherX2022]

Thanks for tuning in. You should check out my Episodes 3, where I talk about lawyers, their costs, and how to save money on lawyers and family court. I also discuss how I went bankrupt during this process because I didn't have enough income to afford it. I used my entire life savings and had to take on lots of debt. So you are correct...most dads would be broke from this. And that's a problem with family court that they don't address. I remind dads that there are many men who spend $100k to $500K on legal fees and still do not get custody of their children. It's not about getting a lawyer and it's not about spending a lot of money on a lawyer. Doing that can help you, or it can hurt you. If I spent half as much on my lawyer, I would have gotten the same outcome. That's why I teach dads that they are the All Star MVP's of their case. You are the one who has to put the story together and present it to the court. Having a lawyer is like having a teammate that's nice to have. And my documentary is about teaching dads how to do this with or without a lawyer. It's time to get the word out. We need to change the standard product of family court. Let my hindsight be your foresight.

[@Perpetuallyoffended]

That's the goal.

[@r.a.h.6629]

I've learned more here than at DadTalkToday where I first learned of your content. Sincerely Thank you Sir FatherX. RAH

[@FatherX2022]

RAH!!! Long time no chat. You have been on my mind, and I hope things are going well for you. Thanks for the compliments and feedback. I like the DadTalk community, where you and I met. They take a broader approach on Father's topics, whereas I can deep dive here on the topic of child custody and family court. And when I talk to the fathers on Dad Talk, like you, it helps me see that the incompetence I faced in family court is a national problem...and not just specific to my case. So then I can share solutions on my channel for everybody to see. Thanks for reaching out. I hope you and the kids are doing ok.

[@eddiewaters5445]

Upstate New York here. There is a huge gender bias and I hate it. Multiple times catching my daughters mother cheating and every time that’s when the so called abuse claims would get made. What a coincidence huh, all I want is equal rights and parenting time with my daughter. I’m a good father and it’s disgusting how hard men have to fight for their kids where women get all kinds of public assistance and the benefit of the doubt. I was physically and emotionally abused and manipulated for years. I stayed to keep my family together bc it makes me sick how common it is these days to have multiple kids with multiple people. I wanted all my kids with one women and to have that family last. Well that’s just not reality anymore and it’s sad.

[@FatherX2022]

Sorry to hear your struggles, brother. It sounds like you were a victim of abuse...but in order to keep raising your kid, you are required to live with your abuser. If you have to save yourself, then you have to lose your kid....because in family court, priority 1 is rubberstamping the mother for custody...to he'll with the best interests of the child. And God forbid a judge actually pay attention to the facts, right? Are you still in a custody case? I hope my videos are helpful, since I went thru a lot of what you are going through. There are ways to prove she was the abuser, and you were not. Stay strong, brother! Your daughter needs you.

[@atruceforbruce5388]

Haven't seen my son for 11 years thanks to upstate western ny and the dishonorable judge Eric Adams.

[@Mrjones-ed7hi]

We should file a class action lawsuit against the government. I live in upstate NY as well. All the actual judges on the bench are females. Even on the bar association website, they have an article about bias in the courtroom they know that it is real but everyone else tries to pretend as if it doesn't. What I have noticed in my own case I noticed these court appointed attorneys don't do anything when representing the men but do the most when representing the woman. When I learned about the social security act and the court can contract with child support. I called my lawyer out on in it and she tried to argue with me as if custody is not connected to child support. How can you as the man have a fair hearing? You can't and it shows in the way the court makes it decisions.

[@atruceforbruce5388]

@@Mrjones-ed7hi amen on that.

[@FatherX2022]

You said it!! The problem is obvious. Anybody denying it is probably either lying, or not very perceptive.

[@peopleofthestateofcaliforniLLC]

You can't be afraid to file contempt charges against the judge or the Parent or argue that the mother is doing wrong but you want to focus the point that it is in the best interest of the child but you want to focus on we she weak and point your strong point out

[@FatherX2022]

Ricky, I think you nailed it. Everything you say and do should be focused on the best interests of the child. Every time you argue against the mother or the judge, saying they are lying or getting something wrong, you shouldn't just say, "The mother is lying and lying is bad." You should connect it to the best interest of the child. For example, "This statement is false and we are here to determine the best interests of the child based on the reality of the circumstances. When the mother makes false statements it deceives the court and makes it hard to come up with the true best interests of our child. And if the court tolerates this lying, the court would be acting in the worst interests of the child. We are here for a serious discussion about our child, and there is no place for lying."

[@peopleofthestateofcaliforniLLC]

@@FatherX2022 the question is if the parents has no morals then how how can she teach my child to be a good model citizen

[@74567justin]

@@FatherX2022​​⁠ Damn!! Well said!!

[@ElizabethHurtado-cm5sx]

Thank you

[@FatherX2022]

You're welcome.

[@jayb9504]

You don’t have to ask for fairness! To begin with you don’t even belong in their public courts for your own private affairs! Stop volunteering your information and stay away from their courts and giving them jurisdiction over you! Public law and private law can’t mix! Remember child support is a glorified 3rd party creditor in which the mother signs her rights away so they can collect on behalf of her. It like any other commercial contract. Treat it as such if your already in the game and don’t stop it since the beginning.

[@FatherX2022]

Thanks for sharing. The child support system is beyond broken and corrupt. It's best if you can stay away from it. But for child custody issues....If you have 2 parents with equal rights to their child...and they are splitting up...And they can't/won't mediate a parenting agreement by themselves... And one of them sues the other in court for custody of their joint child...and one of them invites the court to settle this matter...then you have to settle this in court. It's best to stay out of court, but if you can't, you can't. Or have you found a way for 1 parent to get this custody matter out of the courts, when the other parent is sueing for child custody? Please share...always looking for ways to circumvent family court.

[@troycrum9294]

The Friend of the Court is probably responsible for more abuse, neglect, trauma, and basic unhappiness on all levels to children in this country than any other organization. The case workers are unskilled, extremely biased, angry, and plain irresponsible people.

[@FatherX2022]

Thanks for sharing that info. I never met a "Friend of the Court". But the adjectives you used to describe them apply to everyone I came across: family court judges, lawyers, referees, child support magistrates, child "protective" services, district attorneys dealing with DV....and even those little clerk people floating around the hallways and courtrooms, in their little government cubicles. Our citizens deserve so much better than to be subject to these clowns. I hope you are able to work around them, for your kids.

[@troycrum9294]

@@FatherX2022 fortunately, my ex wife and I were able to get away from the court many years ago when our children were young. In fact, it was her who just told them to go pound sand, and the two of us were able to raise the kids as separated parents. We raised them well, and it all worked out for everyone despite the court and it’s services efforts to destroy the children and their chances of having two loving parents involved equally. Over the years though, I’ve watched friends and family members go through it, and I’ve sat in the hearings. I’ve watched case workers literally flirting with clients in front of judges. I’ve watched them blatantly lie in court, and I’ve watched the judges just go along with whatever the case worker says and absolutely ignore any other testimony or dialogue. I’ve sat there and in bewilderment watched case workers and judges award custody to abusive parents who have actual charges against them because…..it’s just easier to do it this way than to start a new process. Judges tell fathers and mothers that they can do this or that, but essentially, unless they fork out thousands of dollars for a lawyer, it’s going to be wasted time. I think there are some good results, but my personal opinion is that it’s a big money scam, and they bury good people in process in order to move along to the next chore….I mean case…that day. Anyway, my heart absolutely breaks for any parent who has to be subjected to this ordeal, and it’s so sad that the children are nothing but revenue pawns for many of these courts.

[@FatherX2022]

Thanks for sharing your experience. Sadly, a citizen like you can sit in hearings and recognize these gov't workers are inferior and incompetent...But they don't have the self-reflection to observe that themselves. So they will never change. That's a big reason why we need to overhaul or abolish family court.

[@gymbossrebirthpodcast]

You help me whoop ass today

[@FatherX2022]

Thanks for sharing! If you had success today...let's hear it. What happened? Give us some details, brother!

[@MrProfessional777]

Please share! 💪🏾

[@Diplomat82]

I’m going through this now, I have a paid attorney. My sons mom assaulted me in 2017 and she did it again in Feb of this year. I had her arrested in 2017, pressed charges this time. Are you able to talk? This happened in Killeen Tx.

[@FatherX2022]

You can set up a meeting here: calendly.com/fatherx/30minutes I am glad you took steps to have her arrested for her actions. Too many dads, including me, have thought, "how can I have the mother of my child arrested? That would be crazy!!" But too many mothers wouldn't hesitate to do that to the father. So I commend you, because it probably has helped you maintain rightful custody of your son.

[@Diplomat82]

@@FatherX2022 Hello, I just booked with you for Thursday morning. I’m looking forward to it!! I have lots of information.

[@FatherX2022]

@@Diplomat82 Thanks for the heads up. I see the invite came thru to the calendar. I am looking forward to speaking with you, brother!!

[@EnvyMero]

How do I have conversation too?

[@MrProfessional777]

Is this the video where you describe how easy it is to find case law on Google? That's the video I'm looking for.

[@FatherX2022]

Got it. That's in episode 6E.. managing the long process. In the first 5 minutes, I cover researching case law. This will get you started.

[@MrProfessional777]

@@FatherX2022 Thank you.

[@FatherX2022]

Also, I just published Episode 10A, related to why you need to know case law and how you will use it. My next Episode 10B will discuss more of the mechanics of how to search case law on Google Scholar.

[@atruceforbruce5388]

The family court wont give me the minutes from 2013-2018 even tho I filed the correct paperwork and found a transcriber. The court keeps not being able to find. Multiple emails with the clerks that are already aganst me via me being demonized. What the minutes would do would prove the corrution.

[@FatherX2022]

Thanks for sharing, you just highlighted another issue with family court. There are 50 states with 50 sets of procedures, Including procedures about how to get transcripts. It's an administrative nightmare... And for anybody to navigate it you have to have the ability to navigate through all of this paperwork. But navigating through paperwork should not be a criteria for being treated equally in the court system as a parent.

[@Mrjones-ed7hi]

They rubber stamp the mother to make sure they fullfill the contract with the title IV-D.

[@FatherX2022]

Agreed. As I was going through my custody case, it was extremely obvious that their goal was just to maximize child support awards. They weren't fooling anybody. It's so transparent, that it's insulting to us that these people pretend like they're making decisions in the best interests of the child, when they're actually just trying to maximize child support. And people like you, me, and many others have already caught on to this obvious fact.

[@Mrjones-ed7hi]

@@FatherX2022 I called them out on it during my child support case. The support magistrate a woman said "it has nothing to do with court" when I wrote my appeal I wrote that the court is in a contract with them you are the ones creating the order. I laid out the history of the law provided the evidence and the judge ignored it all. Of course I was denied my appeal but the judge didn't deny or confirm that, that I was right. What she wrote back was the mother was entitled to child support because she has full custody. But the law doesn't create an entitlement. That proved my point that custody is tied to child support. And that sounded like it was a personal response. Like she was tell me that I need to just give my money freely to the mother. If you give equal custody the child will be supported by both parents. When the court doesn't want to do that they make excuses.

[@FatherX2022]

Man, I know what you mean. I did one of those revolutionary appeals showing the Child support orders make no sense from an economic or legal perspective. If they agreed with me, it would have been the end of child support as we know it. But the judge mostly ignored my arguments and I lost. But the judge was never able to state why I was wrong. There is a term for what you describe. It's called, "the usual and customary cowardice of family court." When you challenge them and hit them at the core, they run away hiding. And they just rule against you while making up some contrived reason, just to make you go away.

[@Mrjones-ed7hi]

@FatherX2022 that's why a collective push is needed to change the narrative like all men don't want to take care of their children. So, child support is the answer. One case at a time is not the answer. The appeal court will just say it's the trial judge is best to make certain decisions, but they know damn well the truth and they don't want to make case law that changes the law. The next step would be the Supreme Court and after putting in time and after you don't know if your case will get taken up.

[@FatherX2022]

Well said. That's right, we have to change things on multiple fronts. We need to change the narrative that is anti-dad in courts. We have to change the child support laws to stop incenting states from separating children from their parents. I discussed state appeals in episode 10.... But that is still a challenging path in most cases. And going to federal courts and Supreme Court is a ridiculous burden on fathers who have been wronged by lower family court judges.

[@michaeljordan-xt9hk]

What happens when the moms don’t show up to any of the court hearings? The judge granted me 50/50 but the mother already violating court order 🤦🏾‍♂️ I haven’t seen my 2 year old daughter in 7 months. I’m at Philadelphia. What can I do next ?please help me

[@FatherX2022]

Thanks for sharing and congrats on getting 50/50 custody. But it sounds like that concept is dying fast. Are you still supposed to be having court proceedings? To decide what? If she is missing court dates, you might want to ask the judge for a default order in your favor, but that depends on what's happening in your case. 7 months is a super long time to go without seeing your child when you have 50/50 custody. So if you do not take legal action ASAP, court might assume that you are perfectly happy relinquishing custody to the mother. Do you have documented instances where you go to pick up your child and the mother refuses? Do you have witnesses or video footage where she denies you your parenting time? Have you called the police to enforce the custody order? Has the mother moved out of state, preventing you from exercising parenting time? That's a big red flag that you would contest immediately in court. Have you thought about filing a petition for primary custody because the mother is violating the current order? Also, each parent is supposed to foster a relationship between the child and the other parent....And not allowing the other parent to have their parenting time is the exact opposite of that. That would be one of your arguments in court. There's a lot to uncover here, so if you want to set up a meeting, you can do so on calendly: calendly.com/fatherx/30minutes

[@michaeljordan-xt9hk]

@@FatherX2022 I granted 50/50 on may 10th, 2023 and my first initial visitation week was on Mother’s Day may 14th and my kid mother deliberately missed it, so I filed the police report and I proceeded to filed for contempt of court on may 17th. I’m scheduled to see the same judge on July 14th. I haven’t seen my daughter since October of 2022!! She’s disgusting 🤮 for this !!!

[@FatherX2022]

@@michaeljordan-xt9hk OK, I understand better now. May 10 you were awarded 50/50 and the following week she already violated the order. You did a great job filing a police report and filing a contempt motion. But if that motion is to be heard July 14, that's too far away. I mean, what if the mother decides to withhold your child another 7 weeks, right? Keep tracking the dates of your parenting time and the dates that she withheld your daughter from you. You will want to negotiate make up time for that, at the least. And extra days just for the mother violating the Order. I think you have to keep negotiating with the mother to pick up the child, and get make up time in addition to your regular time. And if she continues refusing, keep filing a police report every single time. I don't know how willing Philly police officers are to arrest a mother for violating a court order. But if one officer tells you they won't, you can always go to the police station and raise the issue with a captain or a lieutenant. Or with detectives that specialize in family matters. I always hate the idea of having a parent arrested in front of the children. So if that's the path, just try to make sure that it's done when the mother is not with the child. It's possible that the mother might ask you to cancel the contempt motion, in exchange for letting you see your daughter. However, you already have the right to see your daughter. So you don't have to trade for that right. You don't have to give up your contempt motion. Maybe you want to keep the motion for contempt in place, to make sure that the mother abides by the order for the next 7 weeks. In addition, you should look up an "Order to Show Cause". It may be called something different in Philadelphia. "Motions" are generally filed, and require back-and-forth, and take more time...like several weeks. But an "Order to show cause" is more of an emergency request of the court. Try to find sample forms in the Philadelphia family court website. Or ask the court clerks to help you write one. In the order to show cause, you would write out that the mother is supposed to immediately give you your parenting time. And a judge would sign this Order. But before the judge signs it, you would have an emergency court appearance in the next 2, 3, or 4 days to argue this in front of the judge. And if she does not show up for that appearance...well, the ramifications would depend on the judge. (When you ask for relief in the order to show cause, you might want to ask the judge for double the time that you lost...So the mother does not think about doing this again.) Also, before you go to court for any of these appearances, make sure you anticipate what the mother's excuses will be for her behavior. You will have to counter them. But I imagine she would have little excuse, since you just got a 50/50 order on May 10. Maybe she will say that she didn't want to give up her kid on Mother's Day. But that doesn't explain why she wouldn't give you the kid on Monday, after Mother's Day. Also, if the mother told you she was going to not drop off your kid, that's bad. But if she ghosted you and just didn't appear at all, that's a lot worse. So be sure to note which scenario it was. Just some thoughts off the top of my head. Hope that helps.

[@michaeljordan-xt9hk]

@@FatherX2022 she has definitely ghosted me& I didn’t even know where my daughter was residing until I filed for contempt, she doesn’t answer text or calls. When I use different family member numbers she usually answer but once she hear my voice she hangs up. My official number is currently blocked. Family court told me to keep filing a police report until the court date appears. the Philadelphia police department told me they don’t get involved in civil matters unless the judge orders them. I hope, I get full custody on July 14th

[@FatherX2022]

@@michaeljordan-xt9hk Got it. When you call or text her make sure that your communications are clean...no cursing, no threats, etc. If you do that stuff, the court might see you as the bad guy, despite her actions. With regard to the police, Philly is a big city with tons of cops and different police stations. They may not all act the same way. So you may want to consider asking different cops at different stations until you find one willing to act. But be sure you talk to lieutenants, and not just beat cops. In terms of getting full custody for this on July 14, depending on the circumstances, that might be an extreme measure for a judge to take. It's more likely a judge would only do that if she is withholding the child from you and the child is in danger in her care. But if this behavior continues for many months, you might want to file a petition for primary custody, based on the mother withholding the child frequently from you. And maybe you can get primary custody. But again there are no guarantees. In the meantime, don't stop trying. If you do, the court might assume you don't really want 50/50 custody. Your daughter needs you, brother!! Hopefully, the mom's attitude on this will change and she will accept this new reality. It may take time. My son's mother went kinda nuts when the court made a final order in my favor, completely reversing custody to me. But over time, parenting times followed the court order.

[@MrProfessional777]

When you lost your job. Did your child support get adjusted? Hope so.

[@FatherX2022]

Good question because that turned out messy. I lost my job around late June. And I filed a petition to modify child support. The first hearing for that modification petition was in October. But I found a new job in September. At the October preliminary hearing on modification, we learned the mother was still unemployed. My lawyer feared that the mother's unemployment would actually result in me paying even more child support than the current order. He got scared of that outcome and told me that I should dismiss my petition for modification because it could end up worse. We were in front of the support magistrate...And I had to make a fast 10-second decision. So I dismissed my own petition to modify, under duress and confused. I was still new to this family court stuff because I had only been at it for just over a year. But I learned a big lesson that day. The family court process is designed so that you have to make really fast decisions without knowing the pros and cons of choosing option A versus option B versus option C. So the whole process is about half-baked decisions instead of well thought out decisions. I learned that you have to think about every possible angle before appearing in court, and you have to know every single law that might come up...in order to make the best possible decision on the spot. It's just so much work. That's why I stress all of this "do it yourself concept" in my videos. Nobody else will put it in the work, if you do not. And you can't assume the lawyer will have thought thoroughly about any issue either. To this day I don't know if my lawyer gave me the best advice by telling me to dismiss my petition....maybe yes, maybe not.

[@MrProfessional777]

@@FatherX2022 Interesting. Thank you for sharing!

[@nocturnalgaming4269]

So I get too miss out on 3years + just because I'm a man. It's bull shit.

[@FatherX2022]

My thoughts exactly. It is complete BS. To make it worse, the judges, lawyers, and employees in this system don't understand there is something wrong with their process. They think all this is normal. So they'll never change it until they are forced to change it.

[@nocturnalgaming4269]

@@FatherX2022 yeah, it's madness. My ex is a complete narcissist. Cheated on me mentally abuse emotional abuse and even physically abusive at times and I feel ill still have to go threw an uphill battle to prove this woman is out of her mind.

[@FatherX2022]

@@nocturnalgaming4269 yup, it is madness. You are not wrong for thinking that. And if it upsets you...that's normal, too. So now you have to move forward and prove she is out of her mind. Do it methodically....one incident at a time. And connect all of the actions to the best interests of your child. "Are the kids better off being raised by the parent that does this...or does that...as a pattern of behavior?"

[@nocturnalgaming4269]

@@FatherX2022 yeah that's the plan you're video are a massive help. I still have a few months to prepare for it.

[@DeadMouseis]

you cannot...donj't try...walk away and forget you had children,see child support a a nother tax and move on

[@FatherX2022]

Sorry things went poorly for you...I totally get it. But the idea of just walking away is too defeatist for a new dad going through this process. The correct approach is to recognize that family court is biased against fathers....and then use that knowledge to strategize and out-maneuver the judge, as I show in my videos and as many other dads have successfully done. Over time, a greater percentage of dads can have 50/50 or primary custody if they execute the correct strategy. Quitting is the wrong move....imagine the societal impact if all dads just quit. I would hate to live in that world.

[@DeadMouseis]

@@FatherX2022 nah I am in Ohio..hang it up and abandoned everything..I tried to show a bios with both the judge and magistrate..it was ignored and denied on appeals even after the judge stated in the divorce 'if u file about what she is doing with the kids or who she is sleeping with I will make you pay half her lawyer fees' I challenged the judge with a motion to clarify stating the reasons for a divorce and stated the judge had a bias to state such a thing to start with..the judge granted the.motion saying I can file those things...appeal stated ' there was no bias"..just go home and forget it if u.are from Ohio..appeals is just another.thing to discredit you claim regardless while the Ohio supreme court with not take it and you loose anyway