Ep. 79 Creative Parenting w/ Bert Kreischer | Where My Moms At Podcast

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WHERE MY MOMS AT!? It's the show by the Moms for the Moms. Hosted by everybody's favorite "cool mom" Christina P! Not only the most REAL show for moms, but the most interactive. An open place to admit no one really knows what they're doing.
This week, Bert Kreischer joins Christina to give the other half of some of the stories LeeAnn told last week, and one thing is certain, he's responsible for some really creative parenting techniques! No one has worked as hard as Bert to make sure their kids still think Santa Claus exists! We get into some of his hygiene habits, what to consider when picking colleges with his daughter, and how incredibly healthy he is!
Christina P. wants to hear from you since she is seriously lacking in cool mom friends. If you want to share a "Mom Fail" or "Mom Hack" please call into our voicemail [phone] and let Christina know! We want to talk to as many moms across America as we can.
[e-mail]
[phone]

[@claytonanderson692]

As a giant history nerd, listening to Bert’s sparsely accurate interpretation of history is extremely frustrating but also hilarious.

[@Mark-in4fr]

History nerd? PFFFT FUCKING JOKE U DONT KNOW FUCK ALL BOUT HISTORY

[@josephfragomeni]

Bert and Christina energy is the best start to 2021.

[@baezatensaie4389]

100%

[@XenoTravis]

Bert doing the Santa call warmed my heart. Bert would be the best and worst dad. He definitely would of did better with a son

[@CarlosBeo]

Welcome to Drunk History with your host Burnt Chrysler. In today's epsiode: The Pacific Ocean theater.

[@lukewojdylo9241]

Next episode Burnt reminds us of the REAL reason for the season, Jesus' brother.

[@slywolfe]

*Seriously though, how the hell has he not been on that show yet???*

[@susie7336]

I love this comment.

[@slywolfe]

@@susie7336 💛

[@darkdiddler1439]

"We were just as bad as they were"

[@gabrielsanford7914]

I laughed so hard when Christine apologized to Brent for interrupting him

[@alyssaautumnlogsdon5720]

It caught me off guard and I was trying my hardest to be 100% silent because my 4 year old was still sleeping (every minute after the sun comes up is sacred) but the LOL was unstoppable... Then trying to explain "what's so funny mommy?" , only led to demands to look up "actual" funny videos which can only be minecraft or among us related. So this comment I genuinely appreciated 😂

[@CelebrateSuccessPodcast]

Fuck Bart lol. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@DNYGdj]

I laughed so hard at how unoriginal your humor is

[@JokerisWild4]

@@DNYGdj you're one of those bitter haters who is made they're unsuccessful in life. It's steaming off of you.

[@gabrielsanford7914]

@@DNYGdj thanks pal! I hope this helped you through your day.

[@dntgvafuk89]

Please next year for Merch do an ugly Christmas sweater that says Santa is Jesus's brother.

[@kman9884]

I’d buy that in February, idc what month it comes out.

[@dntgvafuk89]

@@kman9884 very true ✊👖

[@sabrejimmi3097]

But put them both in jeans

[@joshkroeger5197]

The picture of Tom and Christina in jeans but Jesus and Santa in jeans.

[@RPRsChannel]

Sounds like the kinda sweater to wear in May

[@oliviaoverboard]

the biggest "lie" my dad ever told me as a kid was that he was "the smartest person in the world" and i truly believed him because he would always help me with my homework and what not. it wasn't until i took algebra and he couldn't help me anymore that i realized he wasn't lol

[@AlphabyteMusic]

Bert calling Pete was surprisingly wholesome

[@travismusser7409]

Second time he's done it tho. He called him on two bears w Tom weeks ago

[@AlphabyteMusic]

@@travismusser7409 generally that repetition of empathy is a positive thing, you’re saying it’s not?

[@blakewest7619]

Uuuhhhh that’s was Santa

[@epheyeTK]

@@travismusser7409 He also did this on ATC when they were playing poker. I don't remember if he actually called him, but I do remember Bill's face when he told him he was fucking his kids up haha

[@isaacmartinez7557]

@@blakewest7619 these fools got no idea huh

[@Kieranlovesunicorns]

Burt really brought me to tears talking about the joys of being a father. That warms my heart

[@dcd1935]

Look at Christina validating Bert. You can tell he needs that.

[@RetrospectWindow]

Kirsten: I want more childhood Christmases with Ellis Santa to Ellis: let’s go full t’rottle

[@r2c479]

Santa to Ellis wanna touch my chicken wing

[@wyatthausman4377]

Awww watching bart cry about telling his kids santa isn't real was so adorable. What a sweet pudding pie.

[@aroff595]

Guys, burnt isn't an obese alcoholic. He's just a method actor preparing for his role as a fat, rosy cheeked santa for tina's kids.

[@bjggg5809]

Peaking for fat astronauts

[@chelseaanderson1919]

Burnt is but Bert isn’t Jk good comment

[@PapaFraud]

Uh hundred percent

[@a.n_9364]

Would deserve all the oscars

[@Dinglebinger]

I sort of wish Christina and Bert had an animated series together.

[@Justin-ew9pw]

Would watch the fuck outta that

[@choochoodebut3059]

Barf on the left side is unsettling.

[@jackharding2848]

Agree, big time agree

[@jonbailey7373]

watch a live sometime xD

[@nickyv1436]

Agreed. She’s on the right side though

[@Theshiznatify]

Christina's gasps make Bert's stories significantly more interesting

[@johnharrison4400]

Bert is like a Toddler that finds out commonly known information and tells everyone but he’s an adult with a family.

[@dntgvafuk89]

Perfect comparison 😂👌

[@sillyslambo8527]

And gets important details wrong just like a toddler

[@psychonautics_420]

That’s why he’s perfect and that is why he IS The Machiiiiiine

[@Daelo45]

@@psychonautics_420 I'm sCREAMING this is the most accurate description ever 😭

[@psychonautics_420]

@@Daelo45 lol 😂 🤜🏽🤛🏽 keep em high and tight jeans

[@tweetinwithteets2924]

How this went unnoticed I don't know, but bert confusing grey goose with grey hound is such a bert move.

[@maymayrays]

I was legit straining my brain trying to decode the reference 🤣 I was like, Spruce Goose...?🤔🤣🤣🤣

[@aliigatorwine]

I love how Christina always wears red lipstick. Inner goth never dies.

[@Synchro789]

She definitely rocks the red. She’s a makeup maestra. Stay hot mommies 🔥🔥

[@dirkbowman946]

I love Bert's story of Xmas. Someone please animate it!

[@jaunid344]

Great idea

[@je__.]

we need animated santa pete 😂

[@tess3000]

It’s probably just quarantine time, but I feel like Burt has been reading this book for like 6 months.

[@jackielung1225]

Bart is starting to sound like Lola from Big Mouth

[@dwprado25]

Goddamn that is great! Now I can't unhear it. 👏

[@drewy2222]

omg lol

[@dntgvafuk89]

Now I'm wishing there was a Bert character lol

[@l1m0b0at3]

Holy shit its exactly that voice haha whyyyyyy would you do this to me lol I cant un hear it haha

[@Tempust97]

@@dntgvafuk89 there is, she’s named Lola.

[@Henncat69]

I love that Bert is reading a book on WWII, and still knows nothing about the war. Haha. Oh, Bert...

[@aroff595]

I feel like he started that book pre-COVID too. He's been talking about it forever.

[@jessebell03]

$10 he's listening to Hardcore History with Dan Carlin. The series of podcasts he is doing right now is about Japan in WW2.

[@jzen1455]

Bert should start a "History according to Bert" podcast.

[@MmmmGoodBoy]

@@jzen1455 History Hyenas check it out

[@jzen1455]

@@MmmmGoodBoy cool thanks for sharing that! I'm checking out the Mark Normand episode. It's nice departure from the anxiety-inducing covid talk and political mayhem that I've subjected myself to lately. As I was peeing tonight and feeling anxious, I thought, "Ok, I need an escape from the world ending. But what?"

[@charliedog29]

I'm no historian but I'm pretty sure Bert was like 99% wrong about the pacific theater lol

[@assmuncher3894]

Whatchu mean he also said the U.S bombed TOKYO hes a historian he knows his stuff

[@rob1253]

I think you can reevaluate that % to 100%

[@charliedog29]

@@assmuncher3894 in his credit we did bomb Tokyo but not with an atomic bomb lol

[@assmuncher3894]

@@charliedog29 hehe dyum didnt know that

[@jzen1455]

Bert should start an "Alternative History" podcast.

[@ricker76er]

Bart: “it wasn’t even a war.” Also Bart: Continues to tell stories of the horrors of war. Classic Bart!

[@buttersstotch4956]

99 percent of the time that Bert says he “wasn’t partying” or was “sober” he takes it back and says he had a few drinks lol

[@duffduffington843]

Bert's Santa lie needs to be made into a Christmas special.

[@BrianCzapiga]

Yes! First episode of 2021! Commenting early but hope Christina gets to talk on this one! I love Bert, such a sweet guy! Wishing everyone a happy and safe 2021. We love you YMH crew!

[@BrianCzapiga]

A quick reply about the Santa illusion, we’re raising our daughter with the understanding that Santa is pretend but the presents are real. Essentially it’s something we get to pretend together and we don’t have to lie about it. Just because we’re being honest about it doesn’t mean we all don’t get to pretend together.

[@snoracle4926]

We need a "Where my Queens At?" Intro

[@shaydee5641]

Where my queens where my queens under eighteen at?

[@Spongekelp]

Not after they paid for the DMX intro

[@jordanm6940]

I just want them to change the line “raisin’ kids” to “raisin’ jits”

[@bu_lai_ke]

Give them half a mil then 🤣🤣🤣 or go on fiver yourself and find someone who can do impressions of DMX and pay for it yourself for a lot cheaper 🤣🤣🤣

[@jordanhilbert5833]

Love this duo. I'd love to see an episode with Bert reading emails and listening to voicemails!

[@harlequinsjoker7937]

Bret is so wholesome. Got me tearing up listening to how his girls found out about the tooth fairy and Santa

[@Spongekelp]

Why am I tearing up at “I am the tooth fairy”

[@nathanchianderson]

Bert your kids are lucky you pretend so hard for the magic of Christmas

[@Taylor_and_Brianna]

Burnt “I spit bars” Chrysler

[@dntgvafuk89]

2bears live 😆 Bert: "I can't believe I can't do that" Tom: "what" Bert: "Rap!!! "

[@penniewyatt9391]

He doesn’t spit bars, he takes bars, Xanax.

[@ryanvincenec3511]

"Thats where it spits"

[@iancarlesi2304]

The most unaware/aware Brets ever sounded. Sobriety’s coming in hot.

[@Em91s]

Love love love this! Anxious bears raising children

[@matthewfletcher7610]

Please add a regular Bert & Christina podcast to the rotation. These two together is my new favourite.

[@steviestrange2754]

Jesus Christ I wish I had a dad like Bert. The way he talks about Georgia is too sweet

[@jgames01]

My mom tried to make me and my siblings childhoods perfect, because her childhood was less than desirable. She lied through her teeth, while we were a "Christian" household. She had good intentions, but the day I learned she could and was lying to us was a shift in our relationship. She tried to hold on to the magic as long as she could, too long, while still preaching not lying and all that. She was doing all of this stuff for her. And as an adult I'm not upset by that. But I would never, ever lie to my kids the way she did to us. Use good judgment and timing, but don't rewrite the book of your life to make yourself the hero when you've been through it. I wish I had known some of her struggle stories from childhood before I turned 30. Would have made my confusing/difficult times in my 20s make more sense. My dad was honest, with hesitation, and I like him better for it. I'll say it.

[@jgames01]

She lied to teach lessons, she lied to control us, not sociopatbically but so we wouldn't step out of line. Lying is gross and lazy. Don't do it.

[@victoriaputzbach9928]

Tell me why i got teary when they talked about the end of Santa for the kids 😭

[@Cruel-Spark]

LOL Santa’s drunk and needs an Uber

[@jesusc1513]

Can someone tell Christine that Kimchi is Korean 😂

[@TheSaak]

No way dmx charging 500k for a hook 😂

[@camiles2008]

no way McDonalds gave YMH 2 million dollars.

[@LouieMavs]

@@camiles2008 oh word?? for what? 😂

[@nooneyouknow699]

Nadav really gotta produce when Bert's on. Like 10 names beeps in 20 mins

[@daybyday6522]

These two bring me infinite joy.

[@jrmiles5437]

I love when Bert retells old stories

[@davidroos935]

my dad pulled the "military school" play on me. just now realizing that they def don't take phone calls at nine at night either

[@mftoeless1687]

Same bro

[@mftoeless1687]

Kids are dumb and we were all dumb kids

[@Brassbushings6911]

Bert's santa stories are so wholesome 🥰

[@mattmihalko842]

Bert said he spits bars. All I could think is that he drinks bars

[@gb7995]

Bert/Christina and Christina/Dr. Drew are gold

[@rogerbarkley9264]

I love how they have the same quirky laughs the snorting and high pitch laugh are so funny, glass must shatter when it happens lol

[@Spongekelp]

So excited to listen to this after the podcasting dryspell that happens during the holidays.

[@Darthpapaya313]

Christina knows how to take control of Bert going off on a tangent. She's an excellent conversationalist. Love the main Mommy Tina!

[@Xxballin17xX]

I'm playing this video for my kids when they find out about santa 🎅🤣☠️

[@momariereads]

The fact Bert MEANT GreyHOUND and said Grey Goose is the best easter egg ever lol

[@Halry1]

I actually feel bad for Bert’s life at home. He treats him family well and gets manipulated because of it.

[@HayleyPhoebe]

Modern Santa is thanks to Coca Cola advertising from 1930s-50s

[@dsauce8780]

You guys make me less afraid of being a parent someday lol.

[@paulweaver7073]

How long until Bert and Tom host an episode of Where My Moms At? and this incestuous web of podcasts finally implodes?

[@amandataber1636]

I actually really love the Bert and Christina combo. They bring out the best in each other lol

[@Jamesp0nd]

Best comment by faar

[@Mamahand]

I could listen to the two of them everyday!!! Hands down my favorite episode!

[@goose5180]

you should have a podcast that alternates between LeeAnn and Brent each week as cohosts

[@madisonwills6749]

The length that burnt went to make Santa real for his kids his admirable

[@zenpai3271]

Can we please make like one bear one cougar or something because, Christina and Bert together is the best.

[@lascanio]

Another great one! Love these guys relationship with each other, they seem like really true friends couple and loved to hear Bert parenting experiences

[@nissenilsson100ify]

Bert and Christina is a perfect combo for podcasts

[@stig_otracy]

Brett and Krista are a great combo. This made my morning.

[@st0nerrxkx]

this is like watching two different forrest fires meet in the middle of the woods

[@benjaminbauman9214]

Everytime Bertram mentions how a post is his most popular I feel like he doesn’t realize he’s just becoming more popular

[@sethreynolds3885]

I did not get notified of this episode. I was refreshing the homepage looking for my Monday podcasts...Thank God and screw KZbin!!!!

[@krh806]

Best duo to listen to🤣 the energy is completely matched

[@TaylorKranes]

Honestly, the Santa bit was so fucking sweet. If my parents did that kind of stuff I would have appreciated it so much.

[@thegabychavezshow9693]

Definitely watched it twice. The husband and me. Rational revolution!

[@maxng7211]

Push and Bert are the exact same person and it's amazing!

[@carynmartin6053]

I relate to so much of Bert, he could be my twin soul

[@suziedalba7595]

ok I cried twice during this podcast! once when bert talked about ruining christmas for his kids and then again when christina said dry pussy soup lmao! laughed and cried!

[@Lethargiccharge]

Smashed this notification, stay high and tight mommies!

[@RealTextAppeal]

I’m a little late to this EP but yo Bert is such a good guy at the end of the day. We love you Brent

[@MrMRGamer1010]

Absolutely prime episode today Bert was on his A game. Really makes me want my own kids, maybe I'll finish college first though lol

[@apatternedhorizon]

Second time ive seen that santa story and bert randomly calls the dude and forces him to do a santa voice. It must be tiring being in Bert's life.

[@travismusser7409]

Was looking to see if I was the only one who noticed...

[@greyforge27]

This was a good episode. I feel like Bert is kind of in a good place and that's nice to see? As weird as that is to say about someone I've never met on a comedy podcast

[@WVReptileGuy]

Bert and Christina need to have their own podcast for sure.

[@beast0283]

Best Santa origin story ever

[@erikp6844]

Who needs Drunk History? We need Bert History

[@floodc88]

One of the best chemistry's between hosts and topics and smooth segues. Omg Sorry Tom get hurt more.

[@jackierulz2]

I absolutely loved this episode, they have an amazing dynamic which each other.

[@lisamatonis4579]

Of all the things I’ve seen and heard on all the YMH shows, the first time I’ve gagged was listening to Berts floss habits.

[@swelmacoralasis7669]

shut up ur habits are grosser on the inside

[@fuzzymugs]

I’ve heard Berts stories on repeat so many times I could recite them as if they were my own.

[@amybloom3665]

Hes a great dad! That was a freaking rad Santa story for his daughters! I NEED to see this video!

[@sipfromthehourglass]

... my mom told my older brother he would get extra presents as long as I believed in Santa. He did some elaborate shit too so I believed until I was like 15 🤣

[@A_G412]

This is the best! I want to find friends like Bert and Mommy Jeans 😂. Please do more!! Thanks so much 💕!

[@BeachBumPinky09]

I could listen to you guys talk all day! Awesome podcast 😊

[@avakate7747]

Bert is never at a loss for words.

[@Vandica710]

Why does 15min into this feel like it's been 2 years? OH YEA! 2 BERTS 1MOMCAVE... lmaooooo fuckin love it

[@KrankyKate279]

I have told my kids since they were little that Santa and Jesus are best buds and call each other every night to review what my kids did haha

[@jzen1455]

Watching comics interact with little to no filters make wish I express myself so freely.

[@aarongiles4125]

We need a southpark christmas special of Bert's story of Santas origin lmao

[@noljuan6963]

Am I the only one who loves this dynamic? They need to start a pod together

[@Kornkid933]

The santa bit is fucking hilarious!!! Im so using that. Thanks burnt!!!

[@nataliem.2651]

Amazing casserole recipe Bert. Thank you for sharing.

[@Dbgreene]

Rookie move! When you call somebody on speakerphone you have to open the conversation by saying "Hi I'm just calling for X reason you're on speakerphone, with (whoever you are on speakerphone with."

[@crebbym4000]

Bert and Christina are a hilarious combo