Ep10C: How This Illinois Dad Got Primary Custody - Learning From Case Law

In prior Episodes 10A and 10B, we discussed WHY you need to learn case law...and we reviewed HOW to search for case law in your state using Google Scholar. In this Episode, I walk you through AN EXAMPLE of how to find case law in Illinois, and then we read the highlights of a case together. This hands-on example will help you think through: "What facts in My case can I present in My trial, to get 50/50 or primary custody?”. This case is a great example showing how you need to connect the actual facts of your case to the law.
If you are a Father fighting for custody of your kids in Family Court, you've come to the right place! I am creating this docu-series to help fathers get equal parenting time or primary custody in family court.
I won primary custody, only because of enormous effort. I should have had primary custody on Day 1, but instead it took over 3 years. We shouldn't have to go through that just to be treated as equal parents. My goal is to level the playing field since I found family court is obviously biased against dads. Therefore, I will teach you the strategies I used to win custody. You need to understand the system and how to fight for custody as soon as you can. You can’t wait until the trial is over.
My channel: Father X: How Fathers Can Win Custody
/ @fatherx2022
Subscribe to get updates as I post more tutorial videos. There’s a lot to cover to get you ready for court.
Topics I cover for you:
Episodes 1: Introduction to the Problem of Family Court
Episodes 2: Basics of Physical & Legal Custody, Orders of Protection (Restraining Orders)
Episodes 3: Choosing an Attorney vs. Going Pro Se; Interview Questions; Weaknesses of Family Lawyers; Saving money on lawyers; Secret added costs of family court
Episodes 4: How To “Play Nice” in court. Behavior Strategy
Episodes 5: The Best Interests of the Child
Episodes 6: My First Day in Family Court…and the overall Trial Timeline for 3+ years
Episodes 7: How to Tell If Your Family / Divorce Court Judge is Incompetent or Gender-Biased Against Dads
Episodes 8: Mediation & Custody / Parenting Agreements outside of court
Episodes 9: False Allegations of DV
Episodes 10: Researching Appellate Case Law - this is achievable! Shield yourself from the incompetence and gender bias of family court judges
Episodes 11: Preparing Your Child Custody Case - Testimony, Evidence, & Trial Strategy covering the Best Interests of The Child
Future Episodes:
Episodes 12: Your Mental Preparation - dealing with hopelessness, depression, & anger that family court creates for Dads
Episodes 13: Your Defensive Fortress - protect yourself from false allegations and things that can tank your custody case
Episodes 14: Children’s Services, Police and the Domestic Violence Hotline…handling these other players in the family court arena
Episodes 15: Forensic Evaluation…how to handle
Episodes 16: Your Witnesses and Hers - Choosing and Preparing for them
Episodes 17: Cross Examination: Yours and Hers
Fathers should have equal parenting rights, whether unmarried or going through a divorce. You may be seeking temporary custody, primary custody, joint physical custody, 50/50 parenting, or legal custody. You may or may not want a divorce lawyer or family law attorney. And you may seek out resources from father’s rights advocates.
Ultimately, you need to learn how to win a custody battle as a dad, largely by focusing on the best interests of the child. You are getting a divorce from your ex, not your children. And if you have a Restraining Order or Order of Protection against you, it’s an uphill climb. The silver bullet in family court can be deadly. If restraining orders are based on false allegations, there are ways to turn that around to your advantage. I did. But you must be assertive. And you have to learn how to navigate the forensic evaluation, CPS/ACS children's services investigations, and family law.
I am sorry you are in divorce/family court. But if you think it’s in the best interests of your child for you to have equal or primary custody, I am laying out what I learned into this docu-series, to give you a fighting chance.
#fatherx #fathersrights #familycourt #custodybattle #divorce #familylaw #custody #familylawyer #dadsmatter #divorcelawyer #restrainingorder #divorcetipsfordads #divorceprocess

[@FatherX2022]

In this Episode, I walk you through an EXAMPLE of how to find case law in Illinois, and then we read the highlights of a case together. This hands-on example will help you think through: "What facts in My case can I present in My trial, to get 50/50 or primary custody?”. This case is a great example showing how you need to connect the actual facts of your case to the law.

[@MrsStilly1]

I love this! There's a lot of amazing dads that get held back and called dead beats when the mother is the one keeping the children away from him.... I hope we have more cases where the father gets the rights he deserves.

[@FatherX2022]

Thank you for tuning in and thanks for your support.

[@thomaswhite2609]

Dad from Brussels in Europe here. I'm fighting for my 1 year old daughter custody. It seems our system is quite the same and I learn a lot thanks to your videos. The concepts are thre same : best interest of the child, that's what all the lawyers have told me since the very beginning 6 months ago. My situation is nightmarish though. My child's grandfather (my ex's father) is a child abuser. She told me horrific storied about her childhood during 2 years. She asked me to remain silent about it but one evening I went to the police as I was sick of it. She then turned against me to protect her father and after a few months, as I was going to get custody because my case profile was very good, she accused me of rape and domestic violence to block me. Without of course any evidence as we had a very soft and loving relationship. Her father is silently pulling the strings in the shadow. He's got a strong hold on all his family for the past 30 years, no one ever talked. I am heart broken of course. I now have to still fight for custody, I am extremely anxious about my child's safety for the future, as I don't have any evidence about the grand father's abuses. I cannot prove it to the court. There were only oral confidences. And I must also fight her marital rape allegations. A nightmare...

[@FatherX2022]

Thank you for sharing your story. I do get feedback from many people in Europe that tell me the concepts in the US are similar and applicable to the system in much of Europe. So I am glad this is helpful to you. I am sorry you are in this position. Be aware that it is common that a falsely accused person cannot always perfectly prove their innocence. But the more false allegations she makes, the more likely it is that you can disprove some of them. And if you can disprove 3 or 4 out of 10, that starts to show a pattern of false allegations. And for the ones that you cannot perfectly disprove, you can still tell your version of events and the truth. Theoretically, the truth makes more sense than the lie.... If you present it that way. And you can bring helpful evidence even if it's not complete proof. For example, abusers tend to abuse multiple people over their lives. So if you do not have a history of abuse, but now there is an allegation against you, what is the likelihood that you are an abuser? Has she ever called the police against you in the past? Have your friends, family, or neighbors ever seen actions of abuse by you against her? These are the kinds of things that should make a judge wonder if these allegations are false. Unfortunately, you might have to teach your judge the concept of false allegations and introduce them to the idea that some women lie about abuse.

[@thomaswhite2609]

@@FatherX2022Thank you. Indeed that's what I'm gonna do. I've got a very clean past record and she already lied about other allegations that were proven as lies. So I've got a lot to say. It's just taking a lot of time and money to demonstrate she's the liar. So sad for my child.

[@FatherX2022]

Agreed, money wasted on this can be spent on your child. Be sure to watch my Episodes 3, where I discuss saving money on lawyers and the hidden costs of court. You have to preserve your money to ensure you can fight to the end. Often, it doesn't make sense to spend lots of money on lawyers early in your case....especially when the judge isn't listening to you. So save money for the actual trial phase...that's where it matters most.

[@thomaswhite2609]

@@FatherX2022 Ok I'll take care of that thanks for the info.

[@nwrbiodiesel1]

Thank you so much for these videos. I'm fighting for my 2 and 4 year old after asking for a divorce from my narcissistic and abusesive wife. When I filed she made false claims that I pushed her while she was yelling at me and the kids. The court took my kids away for a no evidence accusation. Now my boys are being raised by a nanny while the wife is at work all day. She cleaned out the bank accounts and cashed in the boys college fund. I have been trying to get them back ever since. Thanks again for the information to help!

[@FatherX2022]

Thank you for sharing your story. Sorry you are in that position. It's really hard when the judge starts off by rubber stamping the mother and you are already in negative territory. I have a playlist on my KZbin channel where you can watch all of my videos in sequential order... I think that's the most effective way to view all of my content. The material builds on itself video after video.

[@tamashbeen6610]

Hope your channel grows.

[@FatherX2022]

Thank you. 🙏

[@Anna-pw4bk]

Thank you for everything you post!

[@FatherX2022]

Thank you for tuning in.

[@MrCalebgrayson]

i just figured out you have to go to settings and check √ □ Case Law only and then go to search settings to select your state.

[@FatherX2022]

Yes. The step by step method on how to search is in episode 10B.

[@FatherX2022]

I hope searching Google scholar case law is a game changer for you like it was for me. I can't stress enough how after I read dozens of cases, I fully realized that my family court was doing completely random things in terms of both child custody and child support. They were actively avoiding the actual laws. Learning case law helped me force them to apply the actual laws... Which end it up in my favor.

[@MrCalebgrayson]

@@FatherX2022 I'm on it now. I'm interested in the Liberty arguments, but I may be better off going with best interests on Penn 16 factors. it's just that the odds are so stacked against me and the abuse is only emotional, so I don't think it will result in any kind of sole custody if the J is at all biased towards moms.

[@FatherX2022]

I totally get it and here are some thoughts for you: *It's normal to be nervous about exactly how to present your case and which arguments to use...because you only get one shot at a trial and then it's over. There isn't a "do over". And if you already recognize the judge's bias against you, then you don't know which arguments may turn that judge around. *If you want to use the liberty arguments or the penn 16 factors...they may not be mutually exclusive. Maybe you argue both. There is some value to the "shotgun approach"...where you lay down a whole bunch of valid arguments, hoping that a few work. When it's over, you don't want to think, " I wish I used that other argument instead." *Requesting sole custody is very challenging, even for a mother...as I discussed in Episode 2A. You have to prove overwhelming reasons as to why the mother is a danger to the children. But if she has custody now, she is actively proving that, if the children are still alive, then she is not a danger to them. And the court is giving her the opportunity to prove that already. Here's an idea....during my trial process, the mother had primary custody 5 out of every 7 days. So I had custody 8 days a month...on weekends. Towards the end of my testimony (after I testified around 20 hours regarding the mother's violence, anger management problems, and mental health issues...to lay the foundation as to why she was unfit) I then shared the parenting plan that I thought could be best. I said something like, " I am asking the court to make me our son's primary custodial parent. And given the mother's emotional and mental health issues and her violence, it's hard for me to tell the ideal amount of time she should see our child every month...whether that's 2 days a month or 5 days a month. But either way she should have to see a therapist in order to deal with her issues while she continues to parent. Because if we don't fix her mental health issues, then her emotional chaos will affect our son's life for the next 18 years...even if she is a non-custodial parent." Do you see how I totally reframed the situation, the problem, and the solution for the judge? And then the court made her the non-custodial parent for 10 days a month...the court basically reversed the parenting arrangements 180°. But getting sole custody is just an extreme request of the court. And if you cannot really justify it, then the court will likely look at you as somebody who is trying to eliminate the Mother from the child's life... which is bad. So be careful how you position yourself.

[@MrCalebgrayson]

@@FatherX2022 i am considering making a liberty argument saying the state can’t determine best interests unless both parents are judged unfit. however, if the J doesn’t agree with that argument, he is how i win all 16 factors with evidence. i would reserve the liberty argument for appeal and argue my children’s rights - for whom i am the guardian until ruled unfit - are being violated without due process by having the state override their parents’ custody. my problem is the only anise here is Mother’s mental - enmeshment, alienation. however, she won’t stop. i think she is just ill and can’t see what she’s doing.