Let's Rob a Bank! ASMR

[@MrMeatyFlaps]

"I don't even know what we're robbing yet but I know you already stole my heart" Perfect one-liner in case you find yourself on a date before commiting a robbery, as one does.

[@darkzer0670]

I do use something along those lines but my favorite pickup line is : Hi, my dick just died. Can I bury it in your ass? You either get a laugh or slapped but either way, you waste no time and get a judge of character immediately.

[@ILikedGooglePlus]

"This is why you need to come to our meetings, Jim! Thank god you're just the driver."

[@louthinator]

considering the price of everything these days you need to commit a bank robbery to afford the date.

[@crylune]

The robbery is the date

[@MrMeatyFlaps]

@@crylune didn't think about it that way. That means we have a get out of jail free card, right?

[@jakespeller8385]

Truly an informative video, now I feel like I can rob my local bank without causing an oopsy-daisy

[@cmrd_hdcrb]

99% of bank robbers don't know this trick. Are you the 1%?

[@awalkingfire2176]

Or we in the business likes to call it "happy little accidents"

[@leavemealoneplzthnku]

relatable

[@matthewelliott7981]

“Your honor, my client claims oopsy daisies”

[@jh-a]

@@awalkingfire2176bob ross painting the crime plan

[@The_Kea]

I like how this is played like paul isnt playing a character, hes literally just being himself by listing video ideas, talking about his family, its just pauls legitimate plans on a bank robbery

[@DaSword_8]

This is the stuff we need to learn at schools.

[@jimb0072]

reel talk

[@ThatOneKidd45th]

If Dr.Rift was a Teacher at an Elementary School!💀💨

[@Тотсамый-х1ж8з]

As the guy who's bored of logarithms, square roots and all the shit combined and in power 3. I fucking agree

[@einuhrsechs3105]

indeed

[@mottleparis]

Indeed my absolute favorite thing to learn is how to rob a bank

[@Hikarian]

I can imagine the next video opening up with us and Rift sitting in a jail cell 😂

[@adderon]

Lightly scratching the wall or bars

[@Poopy-YY31]

"Let's break out of prison! ASMR"

[@suryatyagi3273]

"Lets make the jailer sleep! ASMR"😂

[@we-must-live]

@@suryatyagi3273heh. Shawshank Redemption but instead of smashing pipes while lightning strikes, the crew serenades the jailer during the rain before the thunder

[@Piscis2127250]

"Relax with your cell mate"

[@Anonym00U]

the walkie talkie white noise right at the beginning is soooo relaxing dude, such a nice intro

[@HyperHunt621]

Was just about to comment the same thing -- certain repeated noises don't hit very well, but that radio's "fuzz" is super comforting. I could use it on loop for a night. 😅

[@Anonym00U]

@@HyperHunt621 100%

[@barryballin]

beans

[@boi5375]

​@@barryballinbeans

[@NarratorNarrates-k5y]

beans@@barryballin

[@Teddini]

Im currently watching this from my prison cell with a smuggled-in smartphone. Great video!

[@Petit_Nem]

Same bro

[@gusgus_22]

Are you actually?

[@DDunc1020]

​@@gusgus_22you never know these days

[@XIV_Stray_VIX]

​@@gusgus_22i hope so

[@MAUSOLEGRUM]

keep fighting the good fight 🫡

[@helios566]

Im really touched you included my scoliosis in youre drawing of me, ive always been proud of my wobbly spine so its nice you noticed.

[@huntervalleyhinterlands]

“some people consider me an uncle.. but you can just call me Paul” my heart is so warmed by his slow but steady acknowledgment of his importance in the lives of folks he hasn’t met

[@parkerellis746]

True!

[@JD135]

Gonna take a power nap before we rob this bank

[@Crayzo_A.s.]

Ok im ready lets break the rules

[@crylune]

Guys, the drill, go get it.

[@adderon]

Please don't sleep in the bank while it's being robbed. By us.

[@TheHamMann]

Wake up the car is here we’re ready

[@HoneyDog]

Shit, am I late? I think I may have overslept...

[@alix9470]

Sometimes, I think when I'm listening to these, what are the chances that I started the video the same time someone else did and were both listening to it as we fall asleep. To me, it's a nice thought. It makes me feel less alone.

[@eyeofthetiger7]

I love just looking through my feed and seeing a bunch of normal, gentle and innocent videos and then an ER video "let's rob a bank!" with that thumbnail

[@Hueco-Oscuras]

Should make this a 4 part series. An ASMR video during the bank vault like the npc loot room video. The aftermath of robbery. And then the prison video. And then the prison escape by alien friend 😂

[@Snake9332]

Corvus, obviously, he's a trained assassin and the best operative

[@Hueco-Oscuras]

@@Snake9332 And he's a doctor. No need for a medkit.

[@gabemarshall3002]

I like this idea

[@topo6790]

Cthulhu will break him out

[@u.v.s.5583]

@@topo6790 Tiamat. I would know. I worked selling ice cream next to the prison when it happened. The guards and officers were not as lucky as I was. She used no nerf guns.

[@CasuallyAWeeb]

HI UNCLE E, im a teenager, in the last 1-2 years of being a adult. I love your videos youve helped me sleep for years and I see I finally have a chance to say thank you for all you do!

[@Petit_Nem]

Same bro

[@narucreed1]

You're in the last 1-2 years of beimg an adult? Are you dying??

[@aguyonyt1]

@@narucreed1says theyre 16

[@crylune]

Then it would be 'last 1-2 years before I become an adult'. I could not make sense of this comment

[@mckenzie8685]

If he was my middle school math teacher when he was drawing the plan, I highly doubt he wouldn’t have said “Okay guys, I’m not an artist.” 😂

[@emrahalien2972]

Sometimes I wish I was a teacher so I can say “okay guys I am a artist so”

[@then00brathalos]

@@emrahalien2972i shit you not my art teacher did that. it goes something like "so this should be the basic outline (we were drawing potraits). I would not say 'im not an artist' because i don't teach maths"

[@PickleTickler69]

Thanks! Turned this on while robbing a bank and didn’t feel so alone!

[@artemis3065]

I would say I’m worried for Uncle E, but really this is no more or less whacky than he’s always been

[@Stiskohamibra]

Why you worried man

[@williamwakefield1017]

I'm worried for him, I cant believe he hasn't run out of video ideas yet

[@ShadowOfDeadRhodes21]

He could keep doing Arkham asylum characters like he used to do I don't even know why he quit doing those for.. my favorite was Corvus and Dave

[@akuma9885]

@@ShadowOfDeadRhodes21 I’m really hoping he return to these soon. The ERU needs more lore drops, but in the meantime, ima appreciate his art

[@suckmyass2039]

@@akuma9885cut him some slack there's an alien inside him 🙏

[@kylegames7528]

I suffer from really bad depression and anxiety. I just got done having a bad break down and came on KZbin to find some ASMR to take my mind off of all of it and sleep. I’ve been going to sleep to your videos for years. Thank you for being a source of comfort for me and so many others amidst all the chaos ❤️

[@luke_the_fraser855]

Take care brutha🙏

[@thenonfurry]

❤

[@HarryMyerion]

❤

[@The_Riot]

Paul is without a doubt my favorite character; He’s the perfect combination of laidback and chaotic which always adds a layer of casual comedy to the videos he’s in. He also gives off the impression that he’d kindnap you and sell your organs on the currency exchange to get some caps (unless they’re out) but you can’t make a hive mind without shattering a few psyches.

[@jakeizzo8249]

I always love your videos! I hope you realize that you are great and you’re work is much appreciated rather than just viewed as a job!

[@gummibear4757]

If I had a nickel for every time I robbed a bank in ASMR, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

[@Crayzo_A.s.]

Wordington confession

[@THATGUY443.]

PLUH

[@JatnielAviles]

Bro, same though

[@adderon]

Double nickels on the dime. Good album

[@aguyonyt1]

which 2 times

[@averagejoe8358]

Thanks Rift, gonna make my probation officer chuckle with this one!

[@klimics4280]

This Payday 3 trailer is immersive

[@Fulcrum4747]

Love It a bank robber with a color changing clicky pen.... it works

[@ratro8208]

Weirdest payday 3 ad yet

[@Ligmanahtrysugma]

Okay i will always call you uncle E for the fact that I’ve never had a father figure or anyone to take that place and everything I see one if your videos it’s like you’re a happy dad or similarly, uncle and it just makes me really happy im so glad you exist and do what you do I wish you nothing but the best

[@DazlMusic]

Sleeping ❌ Committing crimes with our favorite uncle ✅

[@marcushouse6436]

Honestly I would love 3 hours of tea bag sounds

[@dubocracy5344]

Ahh tea bagging sounds... The best.

[@3versource]

typically accompanied by some squeaky voice screaming at you, so maybe not

[@THATGUY443.]

I agree

[@AllezlesParisiens]

🤨

[@adderon]

Doing the Earl Grey

[@Derhellewahnsinn]

Just got my first job today, that’s exactly the right Video for tonight 😊

[@Aleksandr_Skrjabin]

It's a great job!

[@theandrogynousmisogynist]

Went to the pen for robbery in 96. Did 22 years,and this was EXACTLY the questions we were asked before we got out on for the job. They’re STILL taking care of my medical, AND dental!!! Guild insurance is a MUST!!

[@DaVizzle_Bro]

Wow dude this is definitely a new sub-genre within an already niche genre that I didn't realize I needed. Fantastic haha

[@RowanMackenzie]

This reminds me - if anyone hasn't seen ASMR Bank Robbery by Rhino Stew, you are missing out. Its technically a sketch, but its ridiculously high budget for what it is, and they actually go into a bank and everything. They've also done a couple of other mad ASMR sketches, including one involving the Alien franchise with ridiculously good props and CGI. I hope you all, and Ephemeral Rift, give them a look. (I swear I'm not paid to advertise them or anything)

[@studio-stirko5596]

I’ve been robbing banks for years now and must admit this is pretty accurate! Well done uncle E

[@TmOnlineMapper]

OMG!!! ER doing tea bag crinkling. By far the best ASMR trigger in my opinion! I'm so happy :D I'd love the 3 hours of tea bag sounds!

[@LazyAlligator]

Hi im 9 yrs old. Thank you for bringing me through these hard times of depression, this is another video that shows great financial advise we kids can learn from Happy robbing

[@Mister-A-]

Hi im 3 years old, thanks for commenting this exquisite text about our fellow little aged kids, who cant learn about how getting money before having a job, tough times never lasts, my friend, i have been depressed too for the passed 19 years of my life, and now, i am the ceo of google, and i be smoking that za with my buddy Eric when we play roblox. See you again on youtube

[@moodlethenoodle]

Thank you for your kind words

[@crylune]

Hello I haven't been conceived yet. Good vid

[@fordsrest]

hi i am a five day old single father with a baby on the way. i also have to say this is a good video

[@vonbeedle554]

Hi im Julius Streicher back from the deeed I will write about this great video in my newspaper.

[@softia42]

6:37 Uncle E, please do the video 😄 You tapping on the tea bag sounds like light rain against a window 🎵🎶🎶

[@speejoink1]

The idea that he put out flyers getting applicants for his bank heist is so funny to me

[@lonely.wayfarer]

I love these type of videos from ER. Like roleplay show and tell

[@bryonyscott6693]

Three hours of teabag sounds, yes please!

[@delnotdell]

I can't even really put into words how much I enjoy your content, so I'll just say thanks. Thanks for everything you do.

[@FascinatioForCreatio]

You know it's gonna be good when Rift uses this kind of thumbnail

[@SvendOfficial]

I really like the sound of the police scanner in the beginning, can you make an extended version of just having the noise of it as a video?

[@Kdoms]

The humor in this asmr is awesome. I really hope it was intentional because I was crying and practically convulsing watching this asmr

[@wezelesworth]

Perfect timing for whilst I'm anxious about my money problems

[@nooneyouknow239]

I’ll call Trevor, Franklin, Lester and Michael. Let’s do this.

[@Imperator_Chrysalis]

Three hours of teabag sounds would be wonderful!

[@bertmchaggis]

It has been far too long since I've visited your channel, you always put a huge amount of work into your videos and the quality is always outstanding!!

[@LilPootisGaming]

Pov: you want to start a payday heist

[@jadennowlin5583]

Someone hit our kitten today so this is honestly welcome. Your goofy, but calming videos always ease my mind and cheer me up. Thank you.

[@ILikedGooglePlus]

That's inexcusable! Are you all alright? Do you need me to go Goblin Mode?

[@jadennowlin5583]

@ilikedgoogleplus9538 we got it taken care of, but thanks for the offer. I also like to go goblin mode I'm just a little depressed right now.

[@crylune]

Whoever did that deserves a tiny bit of capital punishment

[@SouthernPsychopath]

You know if that was dutchs plan, the saint denis job may not have gone so badly.

[@redravioli3939]

Your videos always help me when I am struggling or just wanted to fall asleep, I just want to say thank you for making these

[@goodtimeswithcoops]

Love the fact he says we need to wear gloves to hide our fingerprints then produces to touch them

[@lemxnn0]

new payday 3 promotional video looking fire

[@87alsjth]

I’m sorry, what?? I’m ready for this ASMR lol it’s gonna be an adventure.

[@incognito-kx8md]

When is it not an adventure with Uncle Rift ?

[@ralseixo8012]

i notice the uranus painting and the test subject from "Painting you ASMR" and general nutcracker lol

[@MoldyRoach]

New payday dlc looking fire

[@MorkiMoo]

This just gave me a really good video idea: Old John Wick recounting his time with the Payday Gang and showing off some of the loot he kept.

[@jozefgoralski1180]

7:10 Thank You so very much for including the background noise; it’s really summery; the bugs and traffic combined make me feel as if I was just on the edge of civilisation or has just arrived well into the night to my family living far away after a long and tiresome drive…

[@11BlueKing11]

HE CHOSE BLUE LIKE I WANTED! YES THANKS!!

[@cement4315]

Payday 3 is looking great

[@kaboomluong9373]

Hey, at least lobbies ain't messed up with this one

[@AnimalGarlic]

This video is the best to come out for timing, since Payday 3 is coming out tomorrow, and I knew I just had to watch this to fall asleep too

[@zero_burrito]

Aw man, I just finished robbing my local bank and was watching this to unwind. I'm down to go again though

[@dillonkoester7356]

This is one of the best movies you've made good job

[@TheBushSpirit]

Now I need an escaping prison ASMR video

[@Sus52527]

I watch this video every night for two whole weeks and it still make me fall asleep.

[@10kAndrew_]

After robbing all the banks clean in GTA, I think we can really pull this off.

[@zavesta-production6836]

i like how nobody talked about how he broke the 4th wall at 26:57 tbh

[@Local-yes]

Google: don’t rob banks Bing:

[@Adamgggggg]

Really love how ‘’clean “ the background is

[@XoXoRC]

I NEED A MEDIC BAG

[@nickmint3447]

ALL RIGHT ASSHOLES, IT'S ON!

[@mynameisearl4170]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH I'M HURT BAD CAN SOMEBODY DROP A MEDIC BAG

[@neotheoo]

The fact this was released right before Payday 3 drops makes me very happy.

[@soveitonion69420]

I'd watch a movie about a psychopath staring this guy

[@Soveit_OnionT34]

good comment other me

[@soveitonion69420]

@@Soveit_OnionT34 why than you

[@Hungry_Raccoon_]

25:25 love the casual 4th wall break “just bought this to use in other role play videos” I don’t think it was intentional judging by how he acts but it definitely was a 4th wall break simply because of the “other” instead of saying “i bought this to use in my role play videos”

[@solidskullz5736]

This must be one of those lucrative ways to get money that rift told us about in the bad fatherly advice video

[@OMNIGAMER999]

Now I'm gonna rob a bank in my dream after hearing your tutorial 👍

[@Cloakingpower]

I'll follow you anywhere, boss. Show me my role in the plan.

[@crylune]

I literally just got done with a 10 hour crime spree in Payday 2, and I see this in my feed. Couldn't have timed it better.

[@Sputnick_00]

damn, pay day 3 looks crazy!

[@nickmint3447]

I can't believe they released exclusive footage of payday 3.

[@N51totallynotprivatemilitary]

@@nickmint3447 so realisitic

[@trollge_TV_RUS]

New robbery in GTA online looking fire

[@graemestanley8513]

I love how for the questionnaire he had to add “in your own words”. Can’t have people plagiarizing why they want to rob a bank

[@iantophernicus6042]

Of course not! Plagiarism is a crime punishable by a failing grade! We may be crazy, but it's not as if we've lost our minds!

[@commenterguy9752]

Ngl having a sequel to where we are detectives/cops investigating the bank we just robbed would be really cool

[@grimslade0]

The hacksaw will come in handy just in case one of us betrays the other and they manage to get handcuffed to the vault door after a tussle, and before the victor escapes they leave the hacksaw with them with the ultimatum of either getting caught by police or hacking their own hand off👌

[@whyiwakeup6460]

there is no way to cut the handcuffs, you must remove your hand, it’s the only way

[@desolationangel6173]

The thumbnail gave me the biggest chuckle I've had in a while

[@Blueboat21]

I love robbing banks

[@kurofox1247]

Can't wait to rob the bank. This plan is amazingly thought out, I could never have done such great job at preparing, truly a mastermind and that's with no prior experience. Amazing, truly amazing

[@chiefsosakeef9006]

Uncle Rift is the best!

[@gantster5896]

Great video as always, Uncle E! I'd love to see another Benjamin video sometime. The saw blade gun in this video reminded me of him showing it off.

[@greninjagrey4142]

ALL RIGHT RAMBLERS LET'S GET RAMBLIN'

[@billybillyboebilly]

Went scrolling for a payday comment and finally found it. Pd3 early access in a few hours!

[@greninjagrey4142]

@@billybillyboebilly XXV-100 veteran in PD2, and PD3 Gold Edition owner here, hope to see you today in early access man!

[@crylune]

I'm going to miss Bain

[@jasperflare]

This is something I'm amazed how this is and the radio part was good feels so real

[@expunged69420]

Wait a minute wasnt a new video after this what happend to it? Why it got deleted

[@Bsolazy]

fr it got private’d

[@sebastianotropeano1691]

@@Bsolazy IDK why it was privatet

[@Titanninja12]

Pov: dutch vanderlinde telling aurthor how to rob a bank

[@forskinshredr]

Holy shit I think someone hijacked ER's channel, this definitely isn't him wearing a pantyhose

[@SuperVidman101]

Could be that alien he's currently sharing a body with. 😅

[@MrUntoastedbagel]

Another Top-Tier Asmr-video. Very underated videos

[@seizetempus]

So this is what’s happening on October 22!

[@EphemeralRift]

🤣

[@Mei_Ayanam1]

​@@EphemeralRiftHey, my birthday is on the 26th, hope that whatever you're doing goes great and stuff! ❤

[@so_close_to_perfection]

Yeah I hope I’m not the only one confused and concerned what he meant by that :/ I really hope it’s not something bad

[@sickna-sty3244]

"They must be all at the doughnut shop"... Uncle E back with the best intro punchlines you can think of 😂

[@notelkcahsss]

Lester went on a diet and grew a beard

[@BrandonRios-c6o]

I've been watching for years, and honestly, this video makes me think how cool it would be if he was in the Payday games

[@tacofoxbrazil3548]

How it feels to play PayDay 2

[@N51totallynotprivatemilitary]

and soon payday3 is coming out sooooooo, i think the next gaming vids are gonna be awesome if im right

[@zealocked]

THE KING FINALLY UPLOADED

[@CiKSON]

This stuff is unreasonabley hilarious, thanks for your artistry