EPILOGUE: WHAT MARRIAGE WAS LIKE FOR 5 YEARS | HOW I ENDED UP THERE | ADVICE TO ALL |FAMILIA PABLANU

[@MaxwellAlways]

It pains me to even type this comment, Pablo took advantage of his “brainwashing” to not protect Anu. Introduction, courtship wedding in 6 months. Six weeks separated following the wedding. Four children without Anu’s family. That is abuse. If this has all been a smile on Anu’s face but a heart that is broken, RUN ANU!! You are young, brave, educated, strong, beautiful and able to choose your own destiny. 😢

[@familiapablanu]

Yes, he was an accomplice, but he was also brainwashed... One thing he had always done that got me on the loop of what was going on was, Whatever his father told him about me or how he should treat me or do things, he would always tell me. They were shocked when they found out he told me everything. I was seeing from the beginning how his father had dog whistle on all his children (especially his sons). But I couldn't quite put my finger on what was going on... I wished I had researched what a cult was early on in my life, so maybe I would have been able to see it for what it was. We are both learning to communicate with each other... Something that had been lacking and discouraged for so long. We are finding our healing and we are slowly mending our broken hearts... One day, we will talk about "HOW WE GOT OUT"... It was such bittersweet!

[@familiapablanu]

This is Pablo. After watching this in full, and seeing again how brave Anu has been (or has had to be) in spite of everything, it's clearer than ever that I (in my circumstances at that time) was the worst thing for her. She deserved so much better, and I wanted to give her better, but my "better" was what I was trained to do as a good little cult soldier (though never good enough for my spiritual leader). I wish now, for her sake, that she had indeed run away from me early on. Perhaps she would have found a fulfilling purpose to her life and healing without the added abuse that she had to endure over those years married in the cult. But this is where we are now, with 5 beautiful children to raise differently from how we were, and have a chance to make a better life for them than we were given. And now that we are out of the cult, we are both free as individuals to choose what path we want for our lives. So far, we have chosen to do so together, which is a testament to Anu's strength of will and (I hope) aided by my willingness to change 180° from who I was before, and to truly become the man I've always dreamed of being, both for myself, for her, and for our children. As for us both, healing will be lifelong. They say that some things you can never heal from. I hope for both our sakes that this statement is not true. But that is our next adventure, to discover the limits of human healing after such a life as ours has been.

[@MaxwellAlways]

@@familiapablanu thank you for taking time to further explain things. I don’t mean to be intrusive. I suppose something inside me was triggered. Again, thank you both. 🙏🏽

[@triste248]

Thank you both for sharing so much of you. The ugly and beautiful. Most people aren’t so honest with themselves even more so to the public! Your journey inspires me and I pray you both find what you need. ❤❤

[@familiapablanu]

@@triste248 Thank you 😊

[@kristenpinder8130]

Anu, what you said made me cry. 😢😢😢 Your strength, and beauty are amazing. I hope that you find peace, and that you know your self worth. You have a light that shines from within. ✌🏽❤️

[@mpmp4806]

Anu, you are beautiful. You can be a model with a body like yours, after birthing five children. Pablo is not only decent looking, he is handsome… he can go into modeling as well. Glad to see the contentment and happiness betwixt you.

[@ao2]

Sweetie, you are so beautiful, inside and out! I really hope you now know how gorgeous you are! Thanks to you and Pablo for being so raw and sharing your stories. I was really wowed to hear Pablo's admissions of guilt and wrong doing in front of the whole world. That was really brave, inspiring, and a testament of God's enduring love and mercy. Relationships are complicated, and every single person is shaped and moulded by their childhood and learned experiences. I can't believe people are being so judgy. He who has no sin should cast the first stone. You have a lovely family, and I LOVE your decision to move to Uganda, and anywhere else you CHOOSE. Lastly, the entrepreneur in me has to say this-- I'm seeing sooo many ways you guys can inspire people AND make an income doing it...I want to see HOW you taught/teach your kids to be multilingual (books/teaching series/subscriptions); a multi-ethnic friendly cookbook or cooking tips; a faith + health based pregnancy guide; couples guide/teaching/tips series...and oh man, so much more! Keep 'em coming!

[@janemijumbi5713]

One time I heard a sermon from Osborne. You are God's best. The positive impact on me was tremendous

[@gracemekgoe8759]

Thank you for teaching young people to makes good decisions about themselves. Not allowing our in-lwas to decide for us.

[@tanvigawde1612]

I’m glad I stuck around till the end to watch this part of your story because it’s the most important part and I so commend you for being honest with yourself and it takes courage to dig deep, admit and acknowledge the truth, own the responsibility of our choices. I commend you for that because it’s not easy at all. As someone who is an immigrant from india in the US, I truly understand where you’re coming from because I’ve had the same thought as you, about the skin color and everything you described. I’m glad that you’re realizing your worth and will teach your children about self love and their real beauty and value! I haven’t heard anyone verbally talk about these issues that we go through so, it’s healing for me also to hear about it from you.

[@Mayagapelove]

So sorry for what happened to you!! I can relate to your story!! So sorry. I watched the last part of your story in tears. May God continue to move you higher!

[@elizabethakinola6421]

Wow you really went through a lot, with your relating what you went through, I could feel your pain, how are you feeling now? I believe your name came through for you. I am a Yoruba lady Anu means Mercy, it is by God’s mercy that you were not consumed! I am looking forward to the video how you got out.If one’s self esteem is eroded,it’s really bad, thank goodness you did not feel suicidal. May the Lord be with you and your family in Uganda.

[@Aaysha-Humeyra]

Such a beautiful woman. Cross over to Kenya, I wanna give you a tight hug ❤❤

[@rawmagicmama8465]

Keep going Anu and Pablo!

[@gracemekgoe8759]

Our spouse's aren't there to make us happy. Our spouse's are always there to add in our cup of happiness.

[@dorrishaynes8349]

So very sorry for what you went through. God sustained you during that time. So courageous of you.

[@kemanziingrid3551]

You are so beautiful. You a beautiful child of God and he sees you that way ❤️😊

[@gracemekgoe8759]

Beloved I hear your story, my you for sharing your stories. ❤🇿🇦

[@gracemekgoe8759]

You are not alone many women in Africa, are suffering about their dark skin colors. Please used your story and your healing journey to heal and educate them.

[@gracemekgoe8759]

Amen my beloved healing process looks good on you ❤my sis. I can wait to read your book. Your story is bringing healing to us. And an reminder that we are Enough ❤

[@familiapablanu]

Thank you my sister! 😊 We are all in this together!

[@joankabahinda5392]

I am blessed to hear this story it heals me even further

[@familiapablanu]

@joankabahinda5392 Thank you for watching ☺️

[@yemiadaranijo6245]

You are super beautiful if there is another word I can use. You are very smart. Look at how beautiful you are after 5 children ❤❤❤❤

[@familiapablanu]

You are so kind 😊

[@lusimyer]

ANU...I hope you realise now that you are (and always was) a beautiful lady. Your features and complexion are lovely. ❤❤❤

[@otubagaomobolanle5562]

Right from the beginning of this series, i could tell what you were going through even before listening to this concluding part. As you narrated your story, i could sense the low self esteem, the confusion, the weight you had to carry on, the conflict meeting up with family expectations and actually living your own life the way you want, the fear of loosing the only attention and affection you got from Pablo. One can tell he was a good guy from the story of how you met, despite the family baggage he was carrying along with himself. And you could see it too despite the accompanying red flags, and it is understandable that you had a fear of losing the one man that showed affection towards you. Do not be too hard on yourself, you were young, yes wrong too but, everyone makes mistakes. In my opinion, the first step to healing is first forgiving yourself truly and hope you have been able to do so. After that can you truly forgive Pablo. And by extension your family for the part hey played. But in all, your family obviously loves you, understand that just as you were in that space were you had so much confusion going through your head,they most likely did too, and probably handled it the best way they thought they could and sometimes irrational, but trust me, they do love you so much. This last part is would love to touch is somewhat an Irony😀. While you were in your head space thinking you were not good enough, some of us , in fact Myself was looking up to you from Nigeria. I knew you to be a very brilliant, bright and calm girl back in secondary school. Until the news came that you had travelled, i remember teachers will talk about how proud they were of you even tho you were away. You were one of the few people i always visit there pages regularly to draw inspiration and stay focused.lol. You seemed perfect and as beautiful as ever. In fact i would watch h your KZbin then ( i saw the vlog you made when you came for the wedding in Nigeria) I don’t know if you remember but you gave me your number and i messaged you about Public health ( the number ends with 4960) you advised me and gave some hints too. You were actually good enough, in fact much more ❤. When you went off radar, shortly after posting pictures from your wedding (with no sight of any member of your family) i noticed too and got worried, i would scan through your sister’s page to get any hint of you but sadly there was none. I knew something was wrong cos there wasn’t even a birthday wish for years. Once in a while you would cross my mind and i would do an ‘FBI’ search 😄 but still no hint until you then popped up recently. I for one was so glad to see that you are fine. Anu, please, don’t think you are not good enough because you are, I’m really sorry you had to go through all that you did and look at you, handling it like the super woman that you are. Your family is beautiful, you have a husband that is supportive, live life and soar as much as you can. Love from here superwoman❤

[@otubagaomobolanle5562]

Do not be afraid to own up to your part, reach out to make up for past years, heal truly and at your own pace, pour out your heart and heal. If you need someone to talk to, I am here if you don’t mind.

[@familiapablanu]

Wow, my dear friend, Bọlanle. I'm speechless. I'm so thankful for your friendship. 🫂🤗 I will send you a direct message on IG.

[@kaddydambelly3413]

Beautiful family ❤❤❤❤

[@kemanziingrid3551]

This so heartbreaking but for God mends the broken hearted and heal all your wounds. You will get through it 😊 You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you 😊

[@carmencoburn3368]

Sweetheart, hold your head high , you are beautiful. No one else on this planet has our hair or our beautiful complexion! God makes NO Mistakes, don’t ever forget that. I have two children, one dark and one light, I am in the middle. I made sure they embraced their individual beauty and I encouraged their self esteem. They are confident women and they don’t listen or accept ridicule about skin or hair even from people that look like us. I use to use baby oil in the summer when I was a teenager because I loved being darker. There is nothing more beautiful than a pallet of bright colors that pop on dark melanated skin. You are so beautiful, believe that. See the gift of you. Moving forward, release those hurts, all of them. You can’t change what your parents, his family, none of the people that said or did hurtful things to you. You do control from this moment in time, what you believe and how you allow people to treat you. Hurt people hurt people. Learn from it and move on in a positive manner everyday. I have taught my great grandchildren to say affirmations everyday. I am is a powerful statement. You have so much to love , teach and grow. Let this be one of the last times you re visit past hurts. You can’t undo it. Much love to you. I am embracing and loving on you just like I would one of my own daughters. You got this baby girl.❤

[@familiapablanu]

Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement, ma'am! 😊💝 Yes, our healing has been a long process, but now that we are out of the cult, we are finally our own and are taking charge of our lives. In fact, we'll be premiering the first intro episode of this next series, of How We Got Out kzbin.info/www/bejne/j3XQfnSImbaUrZYsi=oBPwt9H3lRmfAHGW next week!

[@carmencoburn3368]

@@familiapablanu I am looking forward to it. ❤️

[@monicamnyanda7696]

Thank you Anu for good advice to parents. I have learnt a lot. You are a strong woman be blessed. Black women lets love ourselves like what Anu said.

[@sharonteron3000]

You are awesome and beautifully made. Ps 39:14, So much awesome women in the Bible and real life to admire. Thank God you are going through healing process. GOD IS MORE THAN ABLE. PRAYING FOR YOU.😇🙏❤

[@gracemekgoe8759]

Beloved you where not abandoned by anyone you have abandoned yourself. "Your expectations that our partners are there to make us happy isn't true. Our happiness is God's affairs. 'All miserable comes from attachment."

[@faithbarbara1990]

Anu dear, from the first time I watched your video, I was amazed at how so beautiful you are. I’m surprised that you felt otherwise wow. My so-beautiful Yoruba sister!!!

[@familiapablanu]

You're so kind 😊 Thank you so much 💖

[@joankabahinda5392]

I told myself how beautiful you are , I am shocked you felt otherwise!

[@alyceamooti4625]

Lovely family, life is an experience and its good the two of you broke out n check what a great family u are raising! God took you through that for a reason. Plz forgive your parents for being "in the dark" its isnt them but the devils handiwork. You are a great testimony!

[@georgewilliamssenyondowang6159]

I Love you people. Good luck and be blesseddd

[@ArtsyGrandma]

You are brave and beautiful 🤗❤🤗

[@SaraWebb-un8wg]

He loves you so much Anu and you love him as well.

[@marieylluste3047]

I'm watching 👀 your videos 📹 thank you for sharing your life with us. But my sister told me I'm not pretty ,I believe in her. It when give lord my life 🙏 😪 and now I'm healed

[@monicamnyanda7696]

I have been inspired keep being strong girl. You are black and beautiful. I wish I can hug and cry with you. ❤❤❤❤

[@chanelford780]

GOD bless you woman of GOD✝️🙏🏽💜

[@meditationstressreliefraquel]

I love this beautiful story ❤ God has should that you was valuable not for your skin but who you really are inside and gave you this beautiful man, that so you gorgeous ❤️ and felt in love since he saw you he didn't care the sink color because skin color doesn't matter when there thrue love ❤️ Jesus love the white,black, all races. We are the image of God and what he makes is beautiful🎉🎉. Thanks for sharing your story you both look beautiful❤couples and beautiful family. 😍love

[@familiapablanu]

Thank you for the kind words, we are so grateful 😊 🙏

[@janelledonovan1684]

You are fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 139. James 1:17 every good and perfect gift comes from above

[@dorrishaynes8349]

You were terribly abused and I'm having a difficult time hearing this. The emotional abuse was overwhelming. Where was Pablo in leaving his parents and supporting you. It's biblical. You are still healing and need Love. I pray that your husband is really nourishing your needs everyday. May God keep you always.

[@mahlodinorah487]

In-law's were never biological parents, remember. No daughter- in laws had it nice at the in-laws.

[@Judy.083]

The abuse was too much. I can't belive such things still happen let alone in America so annoying. I wish I can see that father and give him a piece of my mind. If his daughters get married without his knowledge how will he feel. So disgusting. To think that Anu a masters degree holder fall for their manipulation is still shocking. Pablo on his on PHD holder his educational qualifications is questionable its obvious he buried himself in his books n was not social at all to think e studied anthropology and still overlooked her cultural needs esp. With the wedding is disgusting😢😢. In all am glad they came out alive. Wish them a happy ending forever.

[@joannabbangi2882]

Ohhh dear one ❤

[@SaraWebb-un8wg]

It is Google to reflect without condemning yourself for loving Pablo or him loving you.

[@josephinedorval4237]

You’re very beautiful!

[@lusimyer]

Yes she is..I hope she realises it now. 😊

[@gracemekgoe8759]

As a person who study skin, I am so sorry for going through bullying about your pigmentation. That produce low self esteem and self hate. 😢😢😢You went into relationship self broken. You always show up as victim because you did not have Self Love and you did know how to create boundaries, "PEOPLE WHO MAKES ISSUES ABOUT THE PIMGMETATION OF Their SKIN,, they just needs education about melanin."

[@narose5269]

Anu, you are one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen.

[@mangeniyowasi994]

Anu you are beautiful and strong

[@lusimyer]

Who told you your skin was to dark? (Besides the men you met)

[@feargod6842]

I'm confused, where were you told you were not good enough, is it in Nigeria where many people are black or when you moved to America? Many girls from Nigeria don't think like that, how come?

[@jmg7358]

🫂🫂

[@DUBLINMUG]

Wow I watched the whole thing and this makes me sad to see you feeling the color of your complexion and hair those are Colonial eyes stereotypes and a lot of different races deal with that even the Asian women are trying to be whiter than white and then the guy that said that to you you when you were 18 or 19 if he was an American from the south that's that's all because of his issues with American remnants of slavery but anyways Pablo chose you right away he fell in love with your looks your skin tone with you so you should take that in the future and there are Africans that are darker than you there are Africans that are lighter than you but God made you the way you are because you're beautiful my family's mixed and I have a daughter who's very light skinned and a daughter who has white people hair but is the darkest one of the family and had had issues with her skin tone which made me sad because she didn't get those feelings from inside this house from from her family she got that from the outside world the world is a cruel place I'm glad you guys got out stick together and keep deprogramming Pablo... you guys are really Brave sharing all your personal stuff with the world I hope you continue to be a United Family and I think you should redo the wedding so you'll have better memories if you do it with your side of the family Anu go ahead and redo a big family wedding bash with the black side of the family and it will be great and it will replace those bad memories and your children will be there to participate

[@ConcepcionRuedaBenedicto]

Me parece una familia ''very nice'' pero no entiendo porqué exponen su intimidad. Muestran a sus hijos menores que es posible que en un futuro se lo reprochen, y algo tan íntimo como es un parto. Supongo que su motivación es económica, aunque con todos los títulos que tiene Pablo no creo que necesiten el dinero. Supongo que el hecho de mostrarse al público les alimenta el ego. Quisiera entender los motivos reales.🇪🇸

[@familiapablanu]

Hola, gracias por el comentario, pero si miras los vídeos del playlist "How We Met", en particular nuestro "Interlude", ya verás la razón. Queremos que nuestras familias, incluso de los que nos excomulgaron, puedan saber de nosotros. Además, queremos ser un ejemplo de ánimo para otros que han salido de tales situaciones. (Y es Anu la que tiene los títulos profesionales, Pablo sólo tiene los de bellas artes 😊)

[@gloryajayiIsaiah61]

Anu, i feel so heartbroken by your story...i wish i could just hug you 🫂...But it's funny how you are actually very beautiful, you story confirms the fact 'Precious stones most times will be undervalued as compared to colorful empty stones except they are recognised for their worth'....So sorry the world, family and friends made you feel less than you are... Keep shining and aiming for greater, it's only a matter of time