Episode 85: Finding Your Purpose And Passion

[@cathycastro7932]

I love the relatability of both Jenna and Nicole and appreciate you sharing. I enjoy listening and relating to all of everything. Thank you for all that you both do.

[@shahedahfornah553]

Im just 10 minutes in and I have to pause to just co-sign on the use of the word "relatable"! There are so many times Im like...Jenna really is speaking my truth right now and other times its Nicole. As someone who grew up and continues to live in a heavy state of dissociation, it really is the hardest part of my healing thus far. Breaking that fortress I've built around my inner child while now trying to show up as a secure, confident grown woman feels like the biggest display of imposter syndrome. I am wholeheartedly committed to figuring it out because I am a mother now and my ability to guide my child and be the safe space I didnt have relies on this self-work. Conversation is one that is essential. For me, with the dissociation comes a lack of presence of mine of where I am and where I am going. Even when actively working towards a goal I feel aimless.

[@SelfHealersSoundboard]

Cathy, so glad you're resonating and choosing to be here connecting and engaging with us all. Thank you for being here and tuning in

[@SelfHealersSoundboard]

Ohh that imposter syndrome is so resonant! Celebrating your commitment to your own awareness and healing. And a HUGE shout out to doing so while being a mother. Thank you so much for coming to share your experience here and to connect with us Shahedah.

[@esi7058]

Hello, I've been following your IG page almost daily for some time (can't remember when I started) and have had probably around 15 years of therapy in total, I've also studied counselling for some years but realised it wasn't for me after finishing the classes and some practice. I've read everything related to these topics that I've seen too and participated in fellowship groups and done some related courses etc. Listening to Jenna and some others in the past in courses, fellowship groups and similar I have the impression that some people might have suffered trauma in their childhoods, but they were 'made' to become very different or the opposite of the dysfunction found in the family by a parent or caregiver. I think this is a regular occurrence found in these families, one child is the fortunate one that becomes a (very) healthy member of the community and I think this is the case of Jenna, she might have suffered a lot, but she can have a good life because she was given the tools and education to be such a good member of the community and happy (it looks). I think it's important to acknowledge this as many of us weren't so lucky and we were 'made' to be like the dysfunctional parent/s, having to live with it until now, hopefully no more. Another point I'd like to make is that in your IG page you tell us many times how is it after 'healing' and some of us don't heal completely. No wonder that you get quite a few people telling you how hard it's to do the work, I think it's because of this, or it's one of the reasons for this I think. I get frustrated when you keep saying I had these problems in the past, now I'm healed, some people keep having very serious problems after doing the work for many years (only hopefully) and you need to acknowledge that as a reality. You need to acknowledge some things can't be changed.

[@shawnanowa8197]

Love Dr. Nichole’s style on this episode, looks 🔥

[@SelfHealersSoundboard]

💚💚💚 thanks for tuning in Shawna!

[@suzycue9278]

Really really good ladies. Thanks for sharing!

[@SelfHealersSoundboard]

Thank you for tuning in Suzy Cue! 💚

[@karumina]

Thank you!!! This resonated a lot ❤

[@SelfHealersSoundboard]

So glad 💚 thanks for tuning in with us Karumina!

[@BookdragonCarina]

My struggle with my passions have never been about not knowing them, but about being told from childhood onward that my passions weren’t „normal“, that I should have other passions. It took long to reclaim it and it’s still an ongoing process of not reprimanding or belittling myself for spend my day engaging in them and not do what „normal“ people do. My purpose is a bit different. I also know and have known for a long time what I want and where I want my path to lead me. But I have been stuck on it for a decade now. And with every passing day, I become more scared that it’s too late, that I missed my shot, that I’m kidding myself in believing I can actually do it, that I should just give up because I’m too stupid for it anyway. I know all the reasons I’m stuck, I recognize all my patterns and still i can’t move. I questioned myself many times if I might secretly not want it after all, but the answer never changed that I do. And still I can’t do what is necessary. Right now, I feel really hopeless and lost. And I can’t even tell anyone about it, because they already see me as a failure or pity me, or both. It’s really hard and it doesn’t help knowing I‘m the one that made it so hard and keeps making it harder.

[@SelfHealersSoundboard]

Really proud of you for reclaiming and finding your way back to your true passions, Carina. That takes work, and, as you mentioned, the ongoing practice of speaking to ourselves kindly and supportively- without the shaming we've learned to hold for following the path less traveled. Thank for your vulnerability and sharing where you are currently around your purpose and how you're feeling. It takes much courage and boldness to do so. You are certainly not seen as a failure or pitied here. You share great awareness and authenticity. It's so wonderful to have your engagement and connection here. Thank you!

[@stevensawyer5924]

Curiosity and imagination was incredibly dangerous and life threatening for me as a child.😢 Now, in a blink of the eyes, I'm 65.

[@pelinsutcuoglu6326]

I also feel like a tree that has been pruned too far and left damaged due to same reason.

[@stevensawyer5924]

@@pelinsutcuoglu6326 🙏❤️🤗

[@SelfHealersSoundboard]

Steven, we really appreciate your vulnerability and choice to share here with us. Thank you for being a part of this conversation. So much love to you

[@SelfHealersSoundboard]

Pelin, thank you so much for sharing your vulnerability and connection in sharing your experience. It's so helpful for others to see themselves in this sharing. Grateful you are here in these convo's. Much love to you

[@jopainting1668]

I don't actually believe in "free choice" or freewill. A lot of this feels very gaslighty. While I still believe it is important for us to all try our best and work on ourselves, overall I do not have any reason to believe that we can just make choices and change our lives without an outside circumstances changing.

[@SelfHealersSoundboard]

Appreciate you sharing your thoughts and perspective with us all here! Thank you for tuning into this episode

[@clairemchatelin]

I stopped listening after 30 minutes because it felt more like a therapy session for Jenna explaining at length her history of not going to college and not studying, and teaching, and going freely after her multiple passionate dreams, and not-so-subtly throwing invalidating digs at Dr. Nicole's academic credentials. So I understand that people may have questioned Jenna's lack of credentials, but honestly this is not the best way to approach the problem. Dr. Nicole was good, but I would have loved to have heard more from her. Finally I'm quite surprised you decided to hide my initial comment. Censorship, really? Come on, you're better than that. I'll repost it, for however long it will last this time.

[@SelfHealersSoundboard]

We understand everyone will resonate to things differently and at different times. Thanks for tuning in Claire. If you’d like to hear more from Nicole specifically, we do suggest the full episode or doing a search on KZbin/any podcast platform where you’ll find an abundance of podcasts featuring Dr. Nicole being interviewed on various topics. 💚