Escaping the Narcissist: My Journey to Freedom | Surviving Emotional Abuse |

[@tracibrautigan6960]

Do you find in your third narc relationship that it's so hard to to believe that this is happening again, even tho you see it, that you start to question if you see everyone as a narc..

[@RICHARDGRANNON]

Yes. Exactly that.

[@jennypenny6502]

.... Yes you start to question yourself.. it's like we are eating poison ... Over and over ..

[@Monkchip]

​@@RICHARDGRANNONHank you for verifying that. This sick inigma is terrifying!

[@carmenl163]

But if an expert like RG cannot dodge the narc bullet, how can we? I find this a very depressing thought.

[@TeriNkc]

​@@carmenl163 Three x for me as well, each one was worse. I no longer trust my judgement

[@drlarrymitchell]

One of the shittiest parts of being the child of a narcissistically abusive parent is that it sets you up and sends you into adulthood with the ability to have an entire relationship with an absolute cipher of a human being, with nothing of value inside, for years without even noticing, only hoping that the house doesn't explode.

[@synesthesiafilms]

Truth. Often these are from Asian or Arab countries. Im not racist by all means, and the West may be no better, but it is fact that silence is golden and covertness is key in those families. I speak from first-hand experience.

[@malwads1836]

Codependency is a very brutal & vicious cycle until it finally gets broken.

[@lauramarlo8108]

Been there.

[@Trustingyourlight]

Facts

[@kimberleyh1946]

so true

[@williamparks1503]

As the saying goes, "No one falls in love faster than a Narcissist that needs somewhere to live."

[@RebeccaThelen-h4w]

😅 sad but funny and true!

[@Sarara-mv5sx]

I think they're called 'hobosexuals' and this is exactly the truth.

[@urskaspan4598]

Jesus...thats a good one...😮

[@Thomas_Winters]

Dang I hope that’s not me

[@quantumtechcrypto7080]

Ha the overlapping relationships

[@brightstar4321]

This episode was the most touching and powerful demonstration of manhood and of courage that I’ve witnessed in this lifetime.☀️🥳

[@sleepydoppy8516]

Absolutely right

[@pickle9753]

He gives me hope for humanity…and is inevitably probably prolonging my suffering 🥴😂😂😂💪🔥❤️☯️

[@Lena-ip2wn]

I agree this was really strong ❤

[@racheltoner1906]

🤣🤣🤣

[@Hammondchris]

🎉👍💪

[@ClaireSmith-ke3eg]

Celibate here for 16 years. Had 4 narcisstic ex partners. I am 50 now and in therapy again. I will be single forever. I just want the pain of what I couldn't have to go. I will never, ever go near any man ever again.

[@susannt]

No don't say that...there is love...I know it will finds you...have an open heart...it will whisper in to your ear and your soul...no... don't give up...biiiig huuug to you ❤❤❤❤

[@caracarley3840]

You haven’t a clue how many people you have helped by your authentic and highly emotional intelligent way of using your words to understand such a complicated subject. Listeners leave hearing a person they can relate to. You are our go too. We need you in this space. You are the best Mr. Richard Grannon. You have helped me and soooo many others more than you will ever know 💕. Thank you 🥰

[@dollarsmum3453]

OMG, DITTO!!!! Thank you. Well writ!

[@carolinekaye8926]

So true, and those of us from Richard's neck of the woods (so to speak) have the added bonus of hearing a familiar accent! Not that it makes that much difference in the big scheme of things, but somehow it does something. Associations of home I suppose!

[@martemacdougall1985]

Thank you, Richard ✨️ You have helped me understand many more aspects of narcissistic behavior, which has helped me with my healing. 💔🙏♥️💖 Always learning.

[@philipsstehtwreateesunder3629]

Th!nks Richard . I never thought that was love , but it cut so deep into my soul , to end this sick one sided relationship . I had to send that white horse to the slaughter house, and my suit of armor too the scrap yard . I wanted so to heal that damaged child .💔🤪

[@QueenT768]

You deserve a great woman after all of that horror. Praying that God will bless you with the very best.

[@marytaylor9504]

Listening to the song Take IT ALL! By TARAN WELLS.

[@JcRabbit]

Richard, I'm a 57 old male and I just had my very first child, a beautiful baby boy. Having run through a series of childless narcissistic relationships I had already given up on becoming a father and building a family and by now I thought it would never happen, but it did - like a small miracle I met just the right person to make it happen. God does write in mysterious ways, so don't you despair! When you least expect it... :)

[@malwads1836]

That's lovely🥳🎉🎊.Just remember to take good care of your health so you're there to 👀 the little darling grow up...Our society talks about how important moms are but fathers absolutely matter too🌞👍🏻.

[@benhudson4014]

@jc rabbit congratulations wish more sane men would start having children, What you miss at your age (physicality) you make up with patience, wisdom and sacrifice,,,bravo,,,

[@JcRabbit]

@@malwads1836 My mother is 93 and is still alive and kicking, her brother died at 96 from covid complications, my grandfather at 98 and my father was 92 when he died, so I seem to have genetics on my side. God willing, I will have the time to raise my son to be a good man and someone I can be proud of. :)

[@kimberleyh1946]

Yes, 46yo is still young, tell it :-)! Congratulations & happiness🎉

[@peaceforall-ag]

Congratulations 🥳🥳 May you and family stay blessed🙏

[@AdamDocker]

For four and a half years, I thought my relationship was just plagued by poor communication and incompatibility. Little did I know I was entangled with a narcissist who would leave me emotionally and mentally shattered. It was only after she discarded me in the most brutal way and two therapists diagnosed me with CPTSD that I began to understand the trauma I had endured. Fourteen months later, I'm still grappling with the reality of what happened. I fell in love with the most evil, complicated, and messed up person I have ever met. I'm not perfect myself; I have ADHD tendencies, act impulsively, and carried unresolved childhood trauma. Despite these flaws, I'm a good person who cares deeply for others. But she, with her cute, charismatic exterior, exploited every part of me. She broke me in every way possible. Her lies, betrayal, and abuse left me in a state of shock, comatose for months. I couldn't understand how someone could be so cruel. She manipulated and abused me, and I saw all the red flags, yet I stayed. Why? Because of my own unresolved trauma, my need to be loved, and my belief that things would get better. She exhibited no empathy, no compassion, and no accountability. Her grandiose sense of self, selfishness, and constant lies were a daily torment. She gaslighted, manipulated, and cheated, all while portraying herself as a high-moral individual who criticized others for the very things she did. She painted herself as the victim, creating conflict out of nothing and blaming me for everything. During our holidays, she would secretly message other men and then lash out at me. I even babysat her kids while she went on dinner dates with exes. She would withhold affection, ruin holidays, and rage at me for not validating her. I gave her everything-gifts, financial support, love-but got nothing in return. Her cruelty extended to mocking my needs and feelings, leaving me in a perpetual state of anxiety and depression. I experienced severe health issues, my nervous system was in tatters, and my self-esteem was obliterated. She love-bombed me at the start, but it was all a facade. Her true nature slowly revealed itself through passive-aggressive comments, stonewalling, and constant criticism. She compared me to her exes, manipulated me with sex, and accused me of things I hadn’t done. She self-harmed to manipulate me, threatened suicide, and raged at me for not soothing her. Everything was always my fault, and she projected her own insecurities onto me. I was always walking on eggshells, afraid to say or do anything wrong. Our relationship was transactional; I was never good enough, and she was never interested in my well-being. She discarded me cruelly, smearing my name and accusing me of being the narcissist. Even after the breakup, she tried to gaslight me and manipulate my emotions. Her previous relationships ended similarly, with her exes driven to despair by her toxic behavior. After a year of healing, educating myself on NPD and BPD, and piecing together the nightmare I lived through, I realized the extent of her malevolence. Her own family had gone no contact with her, a testament to her destructive nature. I learned that she had been diagnosed with a personality disorder, which she projected onto others. Now, as I continue to heal, I recognize her for what she truly is: a beautiful siren masking pure evil. A virus that infected my life, leaving scars that will take time to heal. But I will heal, stronger and wiser from the ordeal.

[@Attora_]

This is identical to my experience. Every part. It’s cruel and numbing.

[@MariaSilva-hm6fs]

Your story hit me hard. Almost word per word of what I lived. Left him 6 months ago but I’m still have very bad days. I’m so turned off from relationships. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to have a healthy one again. He has left me so bruised, battered and broken to the core

[@kalikodelevere5008]

You’re such a decent guy. You really deserve the very best

[@Adam-qz3wh]

As a straight man, I can stand behind this comment. 😅

[@lindsey2233]

Research has shown that there are 1 in 6 who are a Narcissist. I was married to one for 20 years!! I had no clue! We had four children together. He is dragging his feet on the divorce….almost 2 years of not being divorce!!!!! I am 42, I want to move on with my life!!!😩 I have been in therapy the last 2 years and starting to do EMDR. I appreciate your Channel and advice Richard!!! Let us victims, hold our heads high and know that these NPD people do not define us or dictate our happiness and future!❤ We are no longer their Victims 🎉

[@recoveringsoul755]

Been divorcing for about 14 years now. When there are children, they drag it out to bankrupt you so you can't fight back. Or maybe drive you to end things or give up. The courts don't care about the child's welfare

[@ViriatoLusitania]

I take my hat off to Richard for his courage to talk publicly about his personal experience.

[@marytaylor9504]

Yes I'm happy he is healing!!

[@WendyHannan-pt7ez]

Me too, that must have been hard for him. 🙏

[@LilLoUhOh]

I can't even imagine the pain you've endured but I admire the strength you show by taking the time to help people like myself. Thank you

[@irinasp3723]

I like how people who experienced the abuse have this dark humour because the experience was so unreal and absurd that noone else would be able to laugh at it. Thank you for changing people

[@riseaboveit346]

It is so hard to heal and still give love in the same way you did before the narc. Don’t ever let them kill your heart, its too pure and needed by the world.

[@SarahSanders-uw2gl]

Richard, how ANYONE who has watched your videos made light of or made fun of the fact that you are single at 46 with no children is BEYOND my comprehension. I am 4 months out of a narcissistic relationship with “no contact” thanks to YOU!! I started following you in January and YOU are the reason I am finally free! 🙏❤️ 21:45

[@mickcrovo5238]

I am 54 and I do have an 18-year-old, but the cost was tremendous. 15 years married to a borderline, then nearly killed (and I mean that literally, though their violence was verbal and behavioral) by a couple of narcissists. I have been celibate for a year and at this point will not put my hand on the hot stove again.

[@mschlund1]

I've been happily divorced for 24 years. .did me in , can't dig up enough trust anymore

[@CopingwithGrattitude]

Me either not sure I can ever try again.

[@BUNCHES8]

There are narcissists - and/or very weak, shallow people - everywhere and some will wish to mock, because they are vile.

[@Heidi_137]

Exactly! The grass is always greener… glad your out and free :) having a bio child is an ego thing because if someone really want to be a parent they can adopt! My parents adopted me in their 50’s. It’s a choice at any age, men or woe men.

[@mercurialmom-qk9me]

Loved your answer to the question, “Is it hard to be so brave?” “It’s much harder to be cowardly.” There is so much truth in your answer! Thank you for sharing yourself with all of us. I’m 53 years old and only began learning to use my voice four years ago, thanks to working with an incredibly gifted therapist.

[@deee1776]

I’m 46 (47 next month) and was also in 3 narcissistic relationships. No one should be judging you or commenting on your situation!! I actually think you should be commended for not having children in such relationships.

[@fionataylor4269]

Agree !

[@jennypenny6502]

Fully agree!!

[@CopingwithGrattitude]

Absolutely, kudos for not breeding with any of these psychos.

[@alexandrachapman5134]

Seriously. Me too. How many of my relationships have been abusive? 😢 A lot. 42 years of experience here.

[@popcornstudios3497]

I think you are the narcisst lol. You cant go wrong 3 times

[@clairelamoureux4266]

I got married for the first time at 47. I went through a crazy 15-year relationship with a Narc/psychopath. I finally broke free and moved into my own house. Before I got married I went through a period of isolation because I needed to understand the old relationship and needed to learn about myself and about "men" in general. I bought a few books, read up, and started socializing again with the intent of dating if I found someone worth trying again. It took time but I found someone I wanted to try with and it took a few lessons between him and me to make a go of it. Long story short, we've been married 15 yrs now and communication is the key but also to realize the type of person you are getting involved with needs to happen first.

[@cultivateyourself]

Be very careful about identifying with your abusers pain or origin story. They sold you a broken car and charged you full price. Now you are walking to work in the rain with a broken heart and mind. And they are looking for their next victim.

[@customera7945]

Well said.

[@Adddrttggg]

Dude you are giving me so much hope. I’m at the end of the rope here. You managed to somehow preserve kindness, reasoning, compassion and humor. Thank you for allowing yourself to be who you are and be vulnerable enough to share your experiences and experience your emotions infront of so many people. I’m in a constant loop of looking for help and I can’t find decent therapist around here nor coach nor counsel who won’t just take pay and do nothing. They can’t relate, they don’t know topic well enough ( even though they say they do) and it doesn’t help. But seeing and hearing you helps. Helps even a bit to feel better, to understand better, to know there is a hope. Thank you

[@saraliburd7752]

Oh Richard -I feel your pain and anguish too-We are so honored to have you as such a pillar in this community 🙏🙏❤️❤️

[@marytaylor9504]

They are compulsive Liars!!! Evil Dragons!!!

[@carleyinfinityandbeyond4360]

My father is a narcissist. My step mom is in heart failure that I blame on the horrible stress he has put her through. I ended up marrying and dating narcs. No more! I’m aware and learning!

[@CherieHeyn-hf2sy]

They always see our Love as a weakness. Love is not a weakness. Love is a strength. With the right partner Love is a powerful bond and can transcend all adversity and no one can destroy it. The problem is finding each other. I hope you find your Soul mate ❤

[@Raven4508]

I feel that they envy our ability to love and that is what they hate about us...

[@mvbigmagic4048]

I agree. A lack of real love (being happy for someone else's happiness) is absolutely essential to be a proper parent. Having children with the wrong partner only perpetuates the generational cycle of narcissistic abuse. :( It has to end somewhere. Hold fast, and suss out the narcs, folks.

[@TheBumpdjs]

They hate you because you can feel love - and that is the lifeline that saves you

[@Elegance191]

My husband just told his friends that it is funny how I loved him so much when we started dating in uni. He found it strange. We have been married for 30 years and known each other for 33 years. He is behaving very horribly and spewing stories about me to make him look like the victim. I believe in love. It is not a weakness as you said. It is strength. Not everyone has the ability to love. We cherish it and are grateful when we can love. It is strength. If I hadn't loved him, he would have crumbled when he was made redundant a few times, he would have crumbled when his brother had bipolar crises. Love is power..and kindness ..only to those who are worthy of our love. Not like this husband of mine..soon to be ex.

[@whiteliner2253]

Yep… 👍🏾

[@viola7658]

I feel ur pain deeply. 42 single woman. All I ever wanted was a normal relationship and my own family. I have only been proposed to once and it was in the back ally of a shopping center by a dumpster by two Italians trying to convince me to get married so their friend could stay in the country. I’ve been in two narcissistic relationships. And the last one ended 3 1/2 years ago. Abuse and madness during shelter in place- in my own home. I’m still healing. It wrecked my career, my home, my social life, my self image, and my soul.

[@lukesruben]

The only thing I know is that narcissists never change for the better, they get worse and worse. I have experienced it for 14 years.

[@HALOasmr108]

It looks like it. The hardest part, for me, was to admit it. I refused to believe that there’s nothing YOU can do if the other doesn’t genuinely try to improve and step into a mutual relationship. I feel pity for them. But there are so many other good men who ALSO need love so much and who will, actually, appreciate and reciprocate. We should live for love, not for the horror.

[@diane19456]

60 years for me! I am a weak idiot!

[@HALOasmr108]

@@diane19456 wow, I’m so sorry for you. How bad did it get? The last time I saw the one, I’ve known my whole life, he looked nothing like even he used to before. He looked like a brain dead fish and full of internal pain.

[@HALOasmr108]

@@diane19456 perhaps it painful for you to talk about it, I understand… In any case, please don’t be so self critical. You are the one who has the most important - wisdom of the years and depth. Spirit and inner power have no age. The one to pity is the other person. Like my narcissist faster, who’s soul deteriorated completely by the time he turned 60. But we are different. We, the once with empathy, we have the depth and with years gone by we only get more authentic and deeper. It’s this authenticity and depth which can’t be paralleled to any other experience and relationship. A connection to yourself and , if blessed by the heavens, a real alive connection to another person like that is the most beautiful and intense thing in the world.

[@TeriNkc]

That would explain why with every narc relationship they get worse, due to getting older "The aging effect" getting old sucks

[@TanyaBrightFuture]

I was in 2 very abusive relationships. It made me see a narcissist/psychopath in almost everyone because I'm paranoid. I don't wanna be hurt anymore. 💔

[@TheLouey75]

I feel you, this is where I'm at. Single feels like the only way to be safe following narcissistic abuse.

[@TanyaBrightFuture]

@@TheLouey75I've been single for the past 2.5 years - it's awesome 👍 NO drama, no abuse. I am in therapy and it helps me to better take care of MY own needs rather than pour my resources into others.

[@meawesome1651]

I see them all now !!!never had that in my life before till I met one of them !

[@urskaspan4598]

I think thats because they are actually all around us. According to dr ramani every 3d person is a narcissist. But according to some other psychologist its every 6th person. 🤷‍♀️ i would kinda almost agree with ramani. Id say its every 4th

[@meawesome1651]

@TanyaBrightFuture I met one, and now I understand what you are saying about ...I also see them everywhere😒

[@staceywebb7740]

My only consolation I can offer is you truly seem much more healthy mentally and physically. Now when you do meet someone you can build something real that hopefully will bring children and a dog and cat lol. You will be a wonderful dad please do not give up.

[@lindaelarde2692]

The authenticity and vulnerability you've shared is profoundly validating and shows us that there is way to get to the other side of the abyss with wisdom and compassion. Thank you.

[@adelinas.7335]

There’s so much pain in your voice as you tell your story. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse as well. It is absolutely devastating to go through. It’s like being through a war of the mind.

[@LostKittyy]

Never listened to anything that resonates so much. I think it’s incredibly brave to go public about abuse, esp the silent kind as predators like to gaslight these matters. Go you for shedding light on these issues & helping others 🙏🏽 & Thank You 🤍💛

[@helenmcintyre5733]

Richard, I discovered you on YT in 2017. At that time I had recently left a 30+ year relationship but I had yet to discover the Narc & Co-dependent dynamic. You opened my eyes and I have learned so much from you. So often I would cry and jump up and down in my chair with relief when you described behavior after behavior and I knew it wasn't just me!! You're how I discovered what gaslighting was and I was floored because for the first time I realized maybe I wasn't crazy and irrational. When I heard you talk tonight about the life events that you didn't get to have (yet) because of those abusive relationships, it parallels what is happening in my life now. The massive guilt that I have been feeling for spending my entire adult life letting my husband control me and abuse me... I have felt like I let my life be stolen from me, spending all my love and energy on a man who is now trying to destroy me. I'm 57 years old and in all likelihood I will spend my old age without a partner. I am facing it, dealing with it, and healing from it... all of it. And I have you to thank in large part. It was tough to get to this point and I will tell you that the single biggest shift in my thinking to really get me to move on was advice from you about hope and the giving up of it. You are an amazing human. Thank you for all you have done. I just wanna give ya a hug :D And don't hate us Canadians, eh? We're mostly a good lot :)

[@yvonneb-t3d]

I too discovered Richard after leaving a marriage to a covert narcissist in 2020. He has helped me gain knowledge and healing through this crazy journey. I am 63 and have zero desire to be in a relationship. Peace is sacred. Hello from another Cdn.

[@fainitesbarley2245]

It’s nice to know it’s not just you.

[@brokenwing8018]

Helen, similar story here from a reborn Canuck ! Once you wake up, everything changes. Keep yer stick on the ice :)

[@mvbigmagic4048]

Yes, Richard's interviews helped me figure out my mother was a malignant narcissist, and I only wish my dad had understood and learned sometime in his 52 years of marriage to a woman who alienated ALL of his relatives, including me, his only daughter. When my mother learned my dad had pancreatic cancer last May (2023), she suddenly went into overdrive to ensure that no one would take her "treasure." Narcs are paranoid, and as they age they get so much worse. You are SOOOOO lucky you got away. My mom caused SO many problems during my dad's last months of life because of her selfishness and delusions of people "stealing." It's like she went schizophrenic (psychosis). Not a pretty sight. I'm glad you escaped. (Don't get hoovered back...... it only gets worse.)

[@gutsandgrittv5076]

They were homeless and desperate and needed shelter. They weren’t there for you but for themselves from the get go. I’m so sorry. This world can be harsh!

[@kathleenking888]

My father was 58 when i was born so you still have plenty of time to meet a lovely woman and have children. Never give up!

[@newjerseydevil6115]

True, but it's not the same for women.

[@hermosotino]

I'm 47, childless, due to my late awakening to covert narc and borderline abuse by another ex... and my dad is a narc. I 💯 get what you've been thru. Stay strong! Good knows our true character and intentions while being surrounded by demons

[@sleepydoppy8516]

When I started to watch this, the viewers had been here. Now it's over 3500. Im sorry to all those out there that need this video. But selfishly, I don't feel so alone.

[@tiffanyclark3341]

Understand this soooooo much, extremely sad how many of us have fallen into this seems to of been most of my life too hope others figure it out sooner than later :/❤

[@EdwinSmith-h1w]

Your not 3 times for me

[@sleepydoppy8516]

@@EdwinSmith-h1w what’s worse 23 years with one or being with 3 ? I’m sorry. I wish you the best.

[@odette8905]

Dear Richard. This is the most moving video I've seen by you. Having followed your journey for about 5 years now (and doing so helped my own recovery) I can see how far you've come. Am so glad you've found amazing healing for yourself - at the same time as gifting so much to others. Wish I could wrap you in a warm embrace and remind you of how incredibly far you've come, how much you've grown despite the most excruciating emotional challenges. I'd buy you dinner any day to thank you for the healing and understanding you brought to my life. Keep going on this remarkable journey and never doubt for one second that you ever deserved the traumas you endured. You didn't. Despite everything, you've emerged as an amazing human being who deserves love, good health and a beautiful life. 🤗

[@MaisyMimi]

I cried with you. The torture of marrying and having a son with my grandiose just never ends, 14 yrs together since I was a happy innocent helpful 18 yr old. 10 years post divorce and still it’s so awful every week it’s an attempted drama that i have to dodge/grey rock. I learned though, the guy I met dating was a covert so it’s made me super cautious and yeah I’m ok single at 41. The silence is fine :/

[@jennypenny6502]

... He makes me cry too... It's healing..

[@Heidi_137]

Glad you found your freedom and I am with you, better be on your own than dealing with BS! i have dogs and that’s good enough, I get my oxytocin fix and very happy in life. I’d love to have a good relationship but I don’t need it.

[@bloodstripeleatherneck1941]

Peace and serenity is priceless 🕊️

[@traceyhooper9952]

You hit the nail on the head, I was nothing but a long con. Somewhere for him to live" I was a beaten child from a toddler until 19, so I became a people pleaser too avoid conflict. When I realised what had happened to me after I got rid of him. It hurt, it really f**ing hurt.

[@staceywebb7740]

As a mom and grandma I just want to hug you and tell you that you are getting better,because you are feeling now. Omg thank you for not hating Canadians we are generally very nice people😢. Your last program healing from the narcissist helped me to heal and that is truly amazing.

[@taniacummings9207]

It's just Trudeau not all Canadians. ♥️

[@hermosotino]

The writing things down to avoid gaslighting is one of the key components of dealing with a covert narc!! Either they have a severe memory problem, or they are professional deceivers....

[@detjaggillar8081]

It's nothing wrong with there memories they just gaslightning You so that You are going to belive thats wrong with Your memory!

[@Victoria-c4n]

We need to build our own self esteem and boundaries before getting involved in intimate relationships. We also need to understand our own desire to help, save, rescue, etc works against us. When we decide NOT to settle, our energy will project that confidence and our discernment will lead the way.

[@marytaylor9504]

This is SO TRUE!! I'm 67years old and I've been through 3 Narcissist relationships! The first one was 20 years with a childish alcoholic who beat on me. I learned so much after the 2nd marriage. The last relationship was 4/an a half years. No marriage! Thank God!!! I 20:01 Got out when I found out about his cheating!!!He was A BIG PHONY. A HUGE LIAR!! A THIEF!!! A CROOK!

[@joydavis1670]

For what it's worth, I feel the best therapy I have received through this journey has been those on KZbin (such as yourself) the inform others about it.

[@racheltoner1906]

Same self imposed celibacy for five years after an abusive relationship then thought that I was ready to try again and walked into another one that was equally as toxic and abusive and I am now celibate and have no intention of going there ever again, I feel safer being single and happier. It’s less hassle and the thought of having the happily there after seems unrealistic and probably not something that I would be good at anyway, it’s liberating to come to this conclusion. It’s horrible when you trust people and they turn out to be fucking nut jobs who are capable of immense hate and anger and destruction and can be living a double life for years before they show you who they really are, fucking terrifying really how silence can mask absolute rage resentment and evil.

[@heidiwood3166]

Totally with you.

[@marrlena947]

6 years celibate for me now. I think that my 20 year marriage was with a narcissist, followed by 2 psychopathic men. I totally committed to being single after that. It's been the best time of my life so far despite occasional loneliness. Never ever going to risk that kind of abuse again.

[@mudskippa8958]

Way better to stay single until you've done a LOT of healing. I have no intention of seeking out a relationship. I've definitely dated narcissists and possibly psychopaths looking back. Not going there again. Love yourself. That's the most important thing.

[@CopingwithGrattitude]

Exactly how I feel.

[@avanellehansen4525]

27 years . I could happily be a lighthouse keeper. Total solitude without drama and chaos.

[@faffrin5216]

The narcissist who wounded me died 6 months after I left and I think the grief interrupted my healing. I thought I had worked through it but years later anxiety has become really destructive and I don't trust my own judgement. I'm not really living so I will go back to therapy. Thank you Richard.

[@dariabondavalli4070]

Richard: 1. Before starting following you I thought that just women could suffer from abuse. Thank you 2. In one of your video you said, fix your life (material life) become indipendent otherwise you won't be able to heal. I did that and my life began to change. Thank you 3. When you began talking about how personal values can guide you and be a compass to deal with the world that was another turning point in my life that helped my healing. Thank you 4. Sometimes I says f..off to bad behaviour that I might receive but kindness still remain one of my values. Thanks

[@Alyson1025]

I fucking love you (Not because you’re a pale face from an old movie) because you’re fucking brilliant, educated, and wise. I’ve survived many of the same “what in the fuck is this” moments, circumstances, personalities and situations. moments and personalities and situations. Your authenticity is so reassuring and so very comforting.. Even your swearing! Love it- that enunciation and voice.. I don’t want to go to therapy either. I don’t need to relive the trauma and horror, rite?

[@brooklyniron1999]

The sentiment that comes across here is bravery, the courage to tell your true, authentic story. For me, one of the best videos on this subject (NPD abuse recovery) on YT. At the risk of speaking out of turn, we are all grateful for having you in this world.

[@amyrowling1925]

You have helped me over the years to identify and to heal the narcissist abuse I have endured. I have done years and years of work on this. I have seen counselors over the years, but they never really got this stuff. I saw one of your videos 8 years ago and it began my journey. It was a big ah haaa! I teach about this kind of abuse now. I research, reflect and always continue to learn. It is so complex and yet the match to our childhood traumas makes so much sense when explored. Thank you for what you do. :)

[@CarlyFaith15]

Richard, I have watched more than 100 of your videos. I was listening carefully and learning. However, this video will be the most important one that you've made. You have to understand what you're talking about in order to truly help others. This was what I was missing. Your story told in your own words. I felt like someone was squeezing my stomach as I listened to you. I spent 28 years of my life with a very excellent narcissist. I put him on a pedestal that was so high. Naturally, that put me in a ditch. I think that you were blessed to get out of one of your relationships without being poisoned. Although, staying in a narcissistic relationship is a slow poison. As you were speaking about empathy, I was realizing that it isn't something that you can teach. I know my husband brought every woman he slept with to meet me at our house. I was too naive to understand what was happening. But, I never forgot the strange looks and the weird feelings. It wasn't something that I could possibly even imagine. But, I met him when he was 15 years old and I started doing homework at his house and I saw what went into the making of a narcissist. It was so bad. I don't think of narcissists as interchangeable. The things that he was exposed to were heartbreaking. I never lost my empathy even when I finally understood. I just wanted him to go away and be as happy as he could be without me. People hate narcissists. Ironically, they were already hated since the minute they were born. They just learned how to survive. Richard, you just put down your walls and I can't tell you how amazing that is to me. You're not an easy read. No one can say they know you unless they know you. You gave us a small window into your heart. I hope this helps someone to walk away without bitterness. I'm not saying that narcissists don't know better but, if you adopted a dog when it was 5 years old and it had been beaten and starved its whole life, you can't be surprised if it bites you. I thought if a man was loved with all my heart, respected and held in high regard, catered to because, that's just how I love, things could be okay. I am so grateful that I never think of him. Thank you so much. You know, there are people that are genuinely so kind and empathetic that it's almost impossible to find a mate. I was blessed to get to have 15 years with someone who let me be me. I didn't care about his flaws because, we all have them. I healed so much that I was even able to watch him die unexpectedly right in front of me and all I could do was tell him, thank you. I will be okay and you will be too. I saw the worry in his eyes. I care about people so much and I'm starting to think that some people care about people more than others can imagine. It's the kind of gratitude that comes from loving people in a very pure way. I'll never forget the night it hit me that I had put this new man on a pedestal. I called him up and I blurted out, I think I have you on a pedestal!!! He very calmly said, that's okay. I said, it is? He said, yes, as long as your pedestal is the same height as mine. People are like precious gems. You're only going to find a red diamond once in a while and you're always going to find them caked in mud. But, if you're sensitive enough, you'll know when you've found a diamond in the rough. I hope I get to find a diamond one more time because, all I have is love and nowhere for it to go. I only yearn for the things that no amount of money can buy. Take care Richard. 💙 I believe that one day you're going to meet your diamond and you are going to be a father. A really great dad. 💕

[@kimberleyh1946]

beautifully said.

[@Ski7440]

Yes I agree and pray Richard does as he’d be an amazing husband and father x

[@ryanbuster4626]

I'm right there with you honey, be strong and I am PROUD of you.

[@CarlyFaith15]

@@ryanbuster4626 Thank you for such a kind message. Young people don't understand that love and all that it entails, is the most precious gift you will ever find. My heart aches because, I don't have my partner. There's such a beauty and peace in the give and take. I don't have him here to ask if he will make me a cup of tea. He's not here for me to take care of him. People are so lost in thinking that they need to find someone that can do something for them. My parents were married for 65 years. My mom passed away 7 months ago. I never saw two people love like that ever. People that didn't even know them used to call them the lovebirds. Because, everywhere they went they were holding hands. They were holding hands in the house. 😊 That's who I learned unconditional love from and they also never taught their children about prejudice. They just lived their lives and I watched them and learned what I needed to learn about kindness. I'm so much like my dad. You'll have to excuse my long answer because I'm Sicilian and not having someone to talk to is like a basketball player without his ball. 😊Have a wonderful night, Ryan.

[@AlwaysJolly880]

You've healed 💕 and now a good lecturer helping many people about disorders and how to identify the traits and set a rat trap and get rid of toxic people . All the best Richard I hope youll find your true love one day . And all those tears will be wiped away with JOY .

[@ernieball154]

You know what Richard??? I did that 7 freaking times! I went back to her because of compassion! Trying to to know her upbringing, 'tried' to have talks... while she was still cheating and abandoning me! Blamed myself. Smh...WHATS RIGHT IS RIGHT, AND WHATS WRONG IS WRONG! I'm not perfect. Never said I was, but that's what she'd always say to me during her ragings .. "oh you think you so perfect" or the 100 other manipulations. Man! I overdid it! Even after I moved out I still gave her money cuz of false hope. Im insane because of this woman! And I'm learning now after sometime of no contact that there is hope for me. God saw me... He had enough! I sleep good now. Almost too good. Thanks for your videos. I forgive her, but I will NEVER forget!!!

[@sama3033]

I'm older than Richard, grew up in the UK in a time when we simply didn't discuss our feelings. The entire nation had such a rod up its arse. RG is doing amazing work in dispelling that awful paradigm. Everyone from my generation is in recovery of some kind. We need to express ourselves genuinely and emotionally.

[@rosebingham5033]

46 with 5 children , fled my marriage of 15 years together for 20 , doing no contact, your videos are a great source of inspiration and information and hope . Thank you for your support. Hubby is definitely a covert Narcissist. At last I’m free, I have a long journey of healing, I’m in therapy and looking forward to finding myself and learning to reprogram myself to use my empathy towards myself. Before this relationship I was groomed at age 16 by a man 15 years older then me and was married to him for 9 years he was a very mentally unstable person and ended up committing suicide, prior to this I was raised in a family that got involved in a Christian cult. I have finally realised I was and am an empathic person who has lived through unbearable trauma. But today although I’m in homeless accommodation with 3 of my children, in a severe state of cognitive dissonance I’m in the most peaceful state ( most of the time) . I’m doing this now for ME , I deserve love and care and I have to find that happiness from within .

[@gwendolynhazel9431]

It’s trendy right now to figuratively slap people on the back for being single and childless, while completely ignoring the fact that the single and childless didn’t all choose that. It’s extremely painful and I’m sorry to everyone carrying that around with them.

[@opposingshore9322]

thanks for saying that. i definitely didn’t choose it and never imagined i’d be my age in this situation. it is painful but i’m not elderly and still have the agency to at least try to change that, so that’s what i’m doing. i hope the rest of those still able to have children will move forward and make it happen if possible!

[@celiaverdinho54]

I have a daughter who has stated that "she will not have children because she will not bring a child to a world like ours." I completely understand 😢

[@CMackenzie-e5u]

I’d love to meet those people you describe. I’ve received nothing but the most disgustingly abusive comments over the years from so many nationalities for not having children. I’d love to meet these people you mention you know for just a bit of balance to all the condemnation and criticism I’ve had to deal with.

[@Heidi_137]

Most jealous that you live without BS because they are unhappy in marriage and can’t leave cos of the children. I had people eventually tell me, don’t do it, it’s not work it and having children is over rated. Some tells me they love their kids but if they had a redo they wouldn’t have them. The honest people will admit it. It’s no one’s business if you choose to not have children. It’s a choice. Anyone can adopt or be around children if they really want to. I love children and they love me back, I don’t need to give birth to them to not enjoy having them around!! H off bio children is an ego thing, it’s fine but let’s not believe it’s for the child’s benefit to have them.

[@Heidi_137]

Your child is selfless and don’t want to see innocent suffer. I get it, I also feel for the younger generation who will have even less opportunities than I had. Unless things change I feel not having them is not a bad decision. Now days having a bio child is a ego thing, a luxury. Who can afford them and give a proper life if both parents have to work 60 hr week to make hands meet?! It’s unfair to children not having proper upbringing. I volonteer with children who have no parents when going home. Proper education and manners as well as adult guidance is needed. Unfortunately too many have kids and don’t raise them. It’s wrong.

[@BlasianPersuazion]

I've been in 2 narc relationships (back to back). God, please don't allow a 3rd!!!! I will go insane.

[@NoMoreNarc]

Richard, I have been confused/skeptical about trusting men after my 4 year abusive narcissistic relationship, by seeing this video you restored part of that trust that, there are men that feel feelings Thank you

[@JillMarchioli]

You have such a way with the words you choose and describing the feelings of this. Ugh it makes me so mad this all happened to u but you’re taking this suffering & turning it into strength to reach down into he|| and giving people a hand out of there. 💪🏽🙏

[@PamelaRaya-pl3lj]

You have a big loving heart, been through so very much. You deserve so much happiness and I sincerely hope you do. ❤

[@pennylacombe4763]

I’m 83 and you’ve no idea how your brain gives me heart Finally 🎉 some of us are just not in the mood to give up…,. Your brand of therapy is so refreshingly beautiful and inspiring. Thank you darling, thank you ❤

[@fionataylor4269]

Great to be part of the live. When you said ''I never saw these tears when you were bullying me'', it struck, and when you said, ''I was always made to feel that I was doing something wrong or that I wasn't good enough''. Yeah , right there ! It took all my strength and wisdom to turn on my heel , but I did it ! Who the f do these people think that they are to break us down? !! THEY need to go to counselling and to work on themselves , not us. Keep well everyone.

[@SardonischerDean]

It's always us hypocritically told to go get help which we do. They never do ugh

[@fionataylor4269]

@@SardonischerDean Exactly. I just think that we should think less about our empathy towards our ex's or (whatever relationship it was ) and start to have more empathy compassion for ourselves, and just be imperfect.

[@SardonischerDean]

@@fionataylor4269 very true. I've learned the hard way being an empath just makes you a magnet for them. Learning not to be "perfect" for them is also hard to unlearn.

[@fionataylor4269]

@@SardonischerDean Yes , so true. Take care.

[@fionataylor4269]

@@SardonischerDean I would rather be true to myself than be so diluted by the grey , (the grey , middle, that I thought that i should embrace , to fit it) that I lose my true self, my integrity.

[@MandaFox76]

Awe, the Ole Savior complex. I'm familiar with that. As of right now in my life I have no desire to save anyone. Being single a lot of ' broken' men, especially ones with mommy issues or dark sexual fantasies are attracted to me. I use to entertain that behavior. Now I run from it. Focusing on myself. When you've been lonely your whole life, you find solitude in it after you get out. You have to become your own best friend in order to keep your sanity.

[@lauralince2009]

Thank you Richard. I’m a mental health therapist in New York State and have also been through abuse by unstable and Narcissistic individuals. I have been following you for a while and can see the onion skin layers being peeled here. It’s hard and sometimes excruciating work. I could go on but I really just wanted to say “Thank you” for your honesty. That’s very brave. You have helped me and I will be following you as you continue on your journey. We are always on a journey. With gratitude, Laura B

[@odette8905]

Ditto to all said here. I also trained into mental health work and specialise in trauma during childhood. Richard - you've made so much amazing progress and are such a giving and beautiful person despite the past.

[@marycallaghan-n8g]

Omg I just want to wrap you in my arms and let you know it will all be OK. I am just out of a 38 year marriage yo a narcissist and he has destroyed me. The moment I got sick he left me for a younger woman. I am crying here watching your video and really feeling your pain. Hope you have happiness now in your life. I pray God will protect you always❤

[@gigicooper1759]

This is such a vulnerable video - It has been the most gut wrenching realization that there are people on the planet who have no soul within them. It's the murder of your very soul. Your truth is very much needed. Thank you, healing is a journey that takes great courage...fearless!

[@reckin99]

I'm 20 min into this and I feel nauseous... You have just described the last 6yrs of my life, just turned 40. Just found out the love of my life has cheated on me twice with her first cousin. When I finally couldn't take anymore of the abuse cycle of silent treatment, inability to apologize or take responsibility, having every fight turned against me, the "you never loved me, I'm terrible, just leave me like everyone else did cuz I'm such a piece of shit." She finally hit me with the cheating in the most painful and cruel way imaginable. I'm thankful you made this video, it helps me feel like I am not insane.

[@NoComment374]

I did get married, I did have children (& I'm not much younger than you). I spent years being patted on the back by other people for my life choices. 15 years in, I got very sick, & legitimately thought I was losing my mind. 19 years in, I watched one of your videos by accident.... and suddenly, reality came crashing back - opening my eyes to the decades spent trapped in the delusional fantasy of a man who, it turned out, wasn't even 'there'. That was almost 5 years ago now. He was gone (ran off with a stripper!) within a year. Now? What was a point of achievement is a reason for embarrassment, and other people's incredulity & misunderstanding. My children, despite everything they've endured - are good people who it's a pleasure to be around. But - I'll never escape the regret & sadness of knowing I was complicit in creating such hardship for all of them. 'But I didn't KNOW!' really doesn't matter when it comes to watching them falling into the same relationship traps, seeing them struggle as a result of old 'triggers', or knowing that my now- 16-year old understands more psychodynamic theory than most adults (the only thing that could help him mentally 'save' himself from the scapegoating & abuse he'd endured until that point). I'm not trying to say that anyone's trauma / experience is 'worse' btw. It's not. I'm trying to say that perspective is everything. What is a point of pride from one person's PoV, is a reason for shame & sadness when viewed by another; What appears to be a lifetime of success one day, can so easily become decades lost, in the next. People have their viewpoint... fine. It doesn't mean they're using all the available information to form it! It doesn't make them right, and it certainly doesn't mean that you should take those viewpoints on board. People like to judge other people..... it makes them feel better about themselves - and in the end, it has very little to do with the person being judged.

[@Miss_Soular_Supernova]

Exactly 🎯

[@Eskit749]

We have extreme empathy for them. I've heard so many say that they have dead eyes, but when I look at them i do see the that, but I also see incredible pain. Another reason we stay longer I know, bc we see their pain and try to love them more & more.... as we sacrifice ourselves more & more.

[@sanja1502]

I wish you love & peace Richard ❤

[@sanja1502]

@RICHARDGRANNON that word you tried to remember is "paradox"

[@JapJudee]

You are the Best. ❤️ I've fallen in love with your mind and intelligence and honesty. You have giving me hope. Thank you man !

[@WillSoftmore]

Deeply touched by your vulnerability and transparency in this video Richard, and I feel moved and grateful for your passion to speak out against tribalism and the increasingly warped "narcissism survivor" cult too, which seems to be making people worse and actually more narcissistic and bitter rather than actually helping people recover and genuinely heal. I say this recognising I myself went through this phase and it wasn't good, and it isn't how I want to be in the world. Oh and also in the Q&A near the end you were hilarious, loved the alpha male character 😂Such good medicine to laugh! Thank you so much!

[@malwads1836]

Exactly... I've noticed over the past few years that many of these newer N/A abuse groups have started encouraging wearing the "victimhood badge" instead of actually promoting healing & ultimately moving forward with a much healthier life,I also 👀 more narcs starting to sneak into these communities as well both in regards to gaslighting actual very raw victims in the comments sections & also even some of the content creators themselves.I'm so thankful this info is more widespread but unfortunately the recent attention is also drawing in the narcs & in the worst case scenario it can ruin a legitimate movement😮‍💨.This is why some once peaceful movements with legitimate protests devolved into looting & mayhem.

[@artbonita]

Thank you for sharing, Richard. Much like the words you have written in your book “A Cult of One”, I really appreciate your openness and courage to speak from the heart. As I deeply empathize with the pain and suffering you have endured. All the while, you have a remarkable ability to look at the bright side of life, lick your wounds and heal. Your tremendous gift of psychology and philosophy makes a MASSIVE difference in people’s lives- including mine. Ever since I committed to studying your courses a year ago, I have said goodbye to every bad relationship, paid off debts, lost 20 lbs and bought a new home. It’s miraculous! Now, I can’t say I have fully healed from the abuse of two narcissist parents and CPTSD, but I am on the positive trajectory of being in total control of my emotional state and ending the suffering. Hard work. Believing in myself; the willingness to change… and a bit of wit and woo, thanks to you. 😉💗

[@cambridgecountrychickpriva627]

I’ve suffered immensely, putting myself in the shoes of those who have suffered trauma and abuse. I still maintain my boundaries and have learned the importance of self care, whilst still maintaining empathy, compassion & remorse! ♥️ I’m so sorry to have heard your story and through learned behavior, you navigated into rocky terrain. I’m a firm believer that every hurdle we jump, all we can do is influence and encourage options to those who are traumatised and to educate change in behaviour. Have a happy life and thanks for educating us. ❤

[@deniseburns8563]

I have been so broken for the last 5 months because of what my NPD partner hurt me. I thought there was no way out because i still loved her and wanted her back. But this today, listening to you has set me free! Thank you so much!

[@BloodSavedMe]

I lived this as well brother. Good thing I stayed into therapy and good thing I absorbed so much projection I continued my healing journey the entire time.

[@deniselanham2463]

The problem with verbal abuse is it’s out of their mouth so quickly and has already done its damage by the time you realize they are narcissistic…it’s hard to close the door but well worth it. Thanks for your sharing Richard! You have helped me understand this complex type of emotional violence.

[@skilly885]

Narcissists are those who make us question ourselves that who we are

[@WendyHannan-pt7ez]

The narcissist sends you to therapy, and they’re happy to pay for it. I was once told by a psychiatrist the wrong person is here. I still didn’t get it, the word narcissist wasn’t around decades ago. The narcissist makes you feel like you’re crazy, they know exactly what they’re doing, and they don’t care. They like to see you squirm, they thrive on it. Thanks for sharing Richard, I feel your pain.

[@rukayaaz3415]

Richard we've never met in real life but you have a special place in my heart, your videos saved me and i know it saved and will save thousand others , thank you

[@JosCampman-qj3oi]

You have had a lot of problems with those 3 women. YOU ARE HUMORISTIC THAT HELPS YOU A LOT I THINK. YOU MADE ME LAUGH🥰

[@sontiasoul]

You still have time to find someone and have a family. Im sorry you went through this. You're a good person to help other people through this mess. It takes a good heart to want to walk these folks through their disfunction because the reality is that they are obviously sick, and we want to help. We want to love out the pain, and any glimmer of hope will keep us there. Just watching them be able to have a good day, or achieve a goal, whatever, keeps us there. But they are not capable of not hurting us. They fall back on survival because function is scary, and we only get more and more broken until we just bairly exist. We cannot save them. They have to do that on their own. Without us.

[@juliebridson6522]

Thank you Richard for your humanity, your vulnerability and responsibility. Sending you a hug. xJ

[@bella_greenbean441]

May God heal you Richard from all the trauma. May He replace all the lies and brokenness with Gods truth about you. You were not to blame.

[@zigggyyyc7342]

Thank you for sharing your story. I can fully relate. I'm certain my breakup alone caused me PTSD. It's particularly hard for men because female narcissists are more hidden and men are just told to man up and get over it. But if there was some futuristic technology where some law enforcement could read my mind and see the memories of what I have gone through, I think she would get life imprisonment. These people are highly dangerous with the emotional and psychological abuse they can cause.

[@jackiep5009]

You also don’t get the domestic violence support. Which was not exactly what I was going through but was helpful none the less. Abuse is abuse

[@StephanieEzea]

Thank you for your bravery and vulnerability. I am a licensed psychotherapist and I have been married, multiple times, all to narcissistic. In my case, they used my faith, Christianity, to create a (false) sense of trust and stability. And being a Christian, and a mental health therapist, I am forever and unconditionally loving and empathetic. It is the best feature about me , but apparently it is also a curse when it comes to personal relationships. I am 41 and I have given so much love, but have never received it , sincerely, in return. I am grateful that I have Jesus as I do not feel ashamed of being so loving. But I am now much more protective of my soul. Does Jesus have a man out there for me who will be sincere in his love? I hope so, but he will have to earn it. I will guard my heart ❤️ so carefully because I never want to feel the type of betrayal and pain felt surviving a narcissistic relationship ever again. I am absolutely rooting for you. , praying for you and grateful for you.

[@rachelsmith5933]

I’ve been through 3 narcissistic abusive relationships myself so I have a lot of compassion for you. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this. I’ve been single for a year and a half and so traumatized from the last one I haven’t even dared to find a relationship. I might never but at least not for another 2 years, that’s how much the last one damaged me.

[@JanHickling-v6x]

Totally resonates with me. Ive been in 3 narc relationships also. Celebate for 8yrs alone for 2 now no contact. I knew in all 3 relationships that they were cheating but I couldn't for sure prove it. Yet I stayed cause I was scared to be alone. I was the one providing the home and paying the majority of the bills. One of my relationships committed suicide because I told him I was ending the relationship.

[@lizedbf7334]

I really thank you for your courage! Not all narcissist or abusers are men, this needs to be out in the open as much as possible. A real man is in touch with his emotions and honest about them. You are a juwel and i whish you all the happines. I understand you perfectly. I have been raised by a covert neglectful narcissist mother and i have had three abusive covert narcissistic relationships. The last marriage lasted for 15 years and this covert neglectful narcissist has almost destroyed me. I have escaped last year and i'm healing now, helped by your channel.

[@myonlinecharacter]

It's amazing to me that despite the abuse you have become such a good hearted human. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. You are a beautiful soul. ❤️🙏🏻

[@ginnyhylton4464]

I am so guilty of thinking all men are the same. I don't want to think that way, but it's so hard. I also had a mother who reinforced that idea daily. I was unfortunately surrounded by many sexually inappropriate male role models. Taught to doubt the ones who weren't. I want so much to believe that men can be good and loving and moral. It's absolutely terrifying to imagine putting all my trust in a man. I want so much to be vulnerable and let go of this fear. I'm afraid I might be alone forever. Even worse, the men I do end up choosing seem to reinforce the idea as well. Maybe that's why I choose them. To make myself right and justified. Ughh

[@tahiyamarome]

I struggle as a woman having a bias that all women are the same and my partners have been men

[@ginnyhylton4464]

@tahiyamarome I struggle with that too because my Mom is a covert narcissist and I have major trust issues with everyone not just men.

[@riseaboveit346]

thank you so much for this. i still find myself making up excuses for my ex's traumas and triggers because i know how terrible his childhood was. but he couldn't face it. he denied it all because it was too painful and he never healed his mother wound. and that was what made me realize i had to get out. without empathy, hurt people hurt other people. shadow work and growth is not for the faint of heart

[@yamlwoz]

I've loved your channels since Malaysia, they're so valuable to me. Your laugh is adorable and your vision and knowledge always surprises me. Big hug of empathy and respect from this 'cuddly built' grandma in Australia.

[@Ana-h3f2s]

Richard, I listened to your journey, I was also emotional and I cried also. As I can understand so deeply the pain you have experienced. You saved my life through your videos and I just want to say thank you and I send you so much light, love and peace your way. You have done such a great thing to save so many people from the dark. Like you said 'keep holding kn to the light, stay away from the darkness'. Cheers 🙏

[@i_am_whole_again]

Your vulnerability in this video hit me in a place that I had thought had been bricked up & buried. The locked door ,that my inner broken little girl that hides behind, hasn't been cracked, to let her peek her head out, for over 50+ years. All I/she kept thinking, while I watched you cry, was that she just wanted to hug the little boy we all just watched show up. ❤❤❤

[@sarahwible5214]

Wow, yes. I had a similar experience while watching this.

[@summergirl9302]

Richard, you have no idea how much you have helped me. Never stop you are amazing. Thank you for every word.

[@Simplebumpkin]

You are telling my story. The amount of time I've spent questioning if it was just in my head is impressive. Sad but impressive.

[@AnGeLaOYA]

46, 2 marriages, 2 adult children, 1 alienated adult child, 2 young children, who esteem their narcissistic gaslighting father... isn't living any better! Appreciate your invaluable videos at present as I begin my escape plan for the umpteenth time and a very long road ahead. I relate on the years of celibacy! A huge sacrifice on my part has been the illusive long desired coequal relationship. My hope is I have as much to look forward to, as years I have already lived, that much more educated by everything I have experienced. 🙏🏼

[@chocolatecookie8571]

Lots of respect for you to be frank and open how you feel about having no wife and children at age 46. Most people don't even dare to think about it to show this vulnerability to avoid being laughed at which sadly many (narcissistic/sadistic/psychopathic) people do. I hope for you and for all other men who are in the same situation to still be able to get married and have a normal family life. Because a healthy society is based upon families and a human in general functions best and feels peace when he is part of his own family.

[@liltoenail7476]

Your an living angel

[@ericadeweese6279]

I relate to the pain caused by jokes being made about being single and childless. I'm 54, and I've never been married. Being a woman, there's this expectation by others that I should've been married by now. 😔

[@Heidi_137]

Better than divorced and damaged! The highest divorce rate are during post meno for women. They waited till the children where old enough and out of the house to divorce. It’s a true statistic.

[@JiniJinJin-pk3pb]

Same. 51. No kids. No husband.

[@trishanderson4708]

Thank you so much. I believe truth telling is where our power for good and authentic love is exercised.

[@gigicooper1759]

Been there too many times...your videos have helped me find healing...I've been in three as well and, they only got worse. The last one was without a doubt the worst human being I've ever known. I too broke contact with very abusive narcissist parents. Continued in darkness, finally sought therapy and research on my own. OUCH!~ I am now 3 years no contact and divorced and...no dating, no desire to seek affirmation from a partner and loving my life. Love you Richard, thank you for sharing.