Estranged Adult Children - When I Lost My Mother's Love at 16 - Let's Talk

An intimate look at my own mother/daughter estrangement and how we worked it out. This video is not for the faint of heart. My Mama and I had a very dramatic and turbulent relationship and were estranged 4 times until we worked it out. We learned to listen to each other....we realized what we needed and wanted from each other...and we healed, we grew, and we learned. I am hoping the lessons I learned about being estranged help someone out there that might be going through the same thing.
I also talk about the GOOD kind of estrangement...! It's glorious to recognize what or who is toxic in your life and set yourself free.
I want to thank all my friends here....you lovely gals and gents who enrich my life every week.
A very Merry Christmas to you all! I will see you next week...
If you have time, please leave a comment if you have ever had to work out an estrangement. We could all learn so much from each other!
Love Always, Susan & Desi
We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty. - Maya Angelou
" You Raise Me Up " - • Josh Groban - You Rais...
Quote From Song: " In The Living Years "- • Mike + The Mechanics -...
Soundtrack - Rick Zhao- "Faded Photos" • Ruiqi Zhao - Faded Pho...
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THINGS YOU SEE IN THE VIDEO
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1. Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child:- amzn.to/3YunvDP
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✔ I N S T A G R A M - / littlepoet7
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0:00 A Favorite quote about Estrangement
1:19 Greetings and Intro
6:03 Blow Up With Mother
13:52 What is Estrangement really about?
15:31 Being Alone Without My Family
16:13 Going Home To My Mother
21:24 Desi is going to sing!
#Lifeover60 #missingachild #estrangement

[@msolupi]

Oh my dear Susan I had tears in my eyes listening to your Christmas story about you and your mother. My youngest son is estranged from me a couple of months ago we had a fall out. He told me that I was never there for him, he said yes you provided food and shelter but you were never there. I was a single mother and had to work for him and his brother. What he said broke my heart because I thought I was a good mother by providing for them. I wrote a letter to him asking him to forgive me for not being the mother he wanted me to be. But that I did my best to keep food and shelter for us. I told him I loved him and always will. This will be my first Christmas all by myself and it is so very hard for me. I am a true believer in Christ Jesus and I continue to trust Him that He will change the situation between my son and I. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I send you lots of love through your channel. God bless you my dear. 😊🤗

[@LittlePoet]

Oh I can't help but cry hearing your story....I am sure you were a good Mom and your son is going through a " stage"....remember estrangements hardly ever work out! As our children grow older their hearts soften...and they can relate to what we were going through to raise them...please know you are loved and if you have time, keep us up to date on your situation...my love to you and yours, Susan & Desi

[@basketballfan5763]

I would've liked that letter .....he WILL come around .....I truly feel....I was years away....and I went back...we fixed things.....don't wish2give false hope.....I feel it will happen..🕊🕊🕊🕊🙏🏿🕎

[@rhodatuckey7119]

Thank you for sharing, Susan...my mom and I never really did reconcile...people die the same way they live...she always resented me for being her bastard baby girl...I have had to claim that My Father Is In Heaven...meaning Jesus of course...love to you...

[@kalenreichert]

Praying God will soften your son’s heart and bring him home to you today.

[@Biblejournalwithme]

Your Christmas Story had me in tears. Nothing like being home for Christmas. House is just a building, it’s the people that make it a home. Merry Christmas Susie! 🎄❤

[@maryobrien7075]

My mother and I have been estranged for 54 years. I am 70 and she is 90. We didn't have an argument but she made a decision when I was 16 and that decision terminated our mother/daughter relationship. In 1968 my parents separated. My father moved in with his mother and my mother moved in with her girlfriend and her two children. They left me in the house by myself. I begged my mother to stay but she chose her "other" family. They enjoyed vacations together and to this day she has devoted all her time and energy to them. I tried back in 2010 to reunite and it was made very clear to me that they are and always will be first in her life. I have made peace with her decision so that I can go on with my husband, children and grandchildren. Sometimes a broken relationship cannot or should not be repaired.

[@janelleetsitty36]

"It's not like I look in the obituaries looking for his name...." 😆 such an awesome sense of humor

[@ashleybergstrom8934]

I agree!

[@susancross5192]

Been there, And I saw his name ,and..........Never mind..... Desi sings great!

[@sabine3769]

I would

[@janelleetsitty36]

@@sabine3769..... word.

[@LittlePoet]

Love you Jane!!!! and I admit...I " glance" those obits!!!! A very very Merry Christmas to you!!!

[@picturenut]

As a former psychiatric nurse I can tell you that your mother must’ve spent months, years blaming herself for the things that she had done and not being able to tell you that she was at fault. By telling your mother-in-law in your hearing she finally got it out and broke that barrier that somehow she had erected around herself. Sometimes these things become mountains that are impossible to climb. Only now that I have gotten as old as I am today do I realize just how difficult it can be.

[@LittlePoet]

thank you for this.....Merry Christmas!!!!

[@cosudu3002]

Oh wow, what a great insight you have! I, too, realize (at my older age) that my Mother did the best she could where she was at in her own growth and with what she had. She had her own real hurdles inside that she had to get over and I'm sure with having 6 kids, it was not be easy.

[@shinewithheart]

Oh, Susan. Tears are streaming down my cheeks. I am in the middle of an estrangement. Hardest time of my adult life. Thank you for sharing. 💚

[@LittlePoet]

Oh dear....I will say my best prayers for you and your family....remember, estrangements are doomed to fail!!! You are going to make this right!!! Thank you so much for being here and sharing...a very Merry Chritmas to you! xxoo Susan & Desi

[@Cindy-bee]

I know how you feel because I am there too. Prayers for both of us and all those others who are going through this.

[@suskelleykelley7241]

Susan I cried as you told me the story of seeing your Mom on Christmas Eve!!! It's like out of a movie. Your Mom missed you and worried about you I'm sure. Your such a great gal

[@davisholman8149]

@@Cindy-bee Same. It hurts when you have tried so hard to give everything to please the person.💔

[@DogsRuleGrandma]

That is so hard. Most painful experience other than my husband’s death. Hugs, blessings for you. The Lord Jesus was there for me, even though I was at my weakest.

[@ninajohnson6578]

Wow this hit me so hard. My mother said “ you did a good job of raising yourself. You should be proud”. It was a few days before she died at 93.

[@deborah3912]

OH WOW! I felt like I was my mom's mom, but we made it you and I.

[@trishf2184]

Bless your heart!

[@pollymorriss3001]

Oh Susan this hit so hard home with my childhood and my own children. December is so hard mom and my husband died from suicide during holidays and my sister died of cancer CHRISTMAS day 1961. Now I am all alone, ALONE I have cried like I havent in years. Sending you and Desi love,blessing and a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS. HUGS until next time.

[@malloryjines5050]

Polly, I’m so very sorry for your losses. Wrapping arms around you in a big hug. You will see them again.

[@LittlePoet]

Oh dear Polly, I am so sorry for the pain you have endured....I wish I could hug you and maybe watch a Christmas movie or 2! A Very Merry Christmas to you and yours, My love always, Susan & Desi

[@juliaciddio30]

Dear Susan your words touched my heart deeply and my story is similar in many ways. My mother left her country because she was pregnant with me and did not want to shame her mother. I ruined her life in a sense. Now that I’m 66 I understand her better and my childhood better. Mom has passed but now I am able to have so many talks with her ……in my heart . ❤

[@marciahamill8824]

I cried at hearing your story about your mom telling you to call a taxi cab and come home. I have so many stories about estrangement, but I know that I would always tell my children to come home just the way your mom did.

[@LittlePoet]

Thank you for understanding and being so sweet...xxoo

[@mickeywood6850]

Susie you are a wonderful person. All of us aging ladies thank you for sharing your life with us. You are loved.

[@ashleybergstrom8934]

Amen

[@LittlePoet]

Thank you so much for being here! A Very very Merry Christmas to you and yours, Love always, Susan & Desi

[@ashleybergstrom8934]

@@LittlePoet Thank you! Merry Christmas and a wonderful new year! xx

[@wanalivlif]

I love your honesty!

[@jude1515]

Aww, thank you for sharing. Merry Christmas!

[@ladyw605]

Estrangement is definitely the most painful situation I’ve ever experienced. I experienced a very long estrangement that was never reconciled with my mother who died in 2017; and, also with with my oldest child from the time he was 15 until his tragic death in 2011 at the age of 34. When the other person doesn’t want reconcilement, there’s not much you can do…sometimes the relationship chemistry is just not compatible…you just have to love them enough to let them live their life even if they don’t want their life to include you. So happy you got things worked out with your Mom before it was too late…!!! I spend a lot of time thinking about what could have and should have been with my Mom and my only Son. This was a very painful video to watch but I am glad I have the strength to listen to others’ stories. Merry Christmas to you my friend…hug that sweet little Desi for me…he is SO PRECIOUS …!!!

[@cynthiafisher9907]

I’m so sorry for your pain.

[@nomadame333]

♥️

[@carolseven3802]

I agree with everything you said! I pray that this Christmas will be one of the merriest ever. Take good care and thank you for writing. I don’t know about you, but it’s worse when others think they know your life and how to live in better than you do.

[@LittlePoet]

I am so sorry for all the pain you have known....you are strong....Your husband and daughter...they keep you so stong ;) xxoo Merry Christmas Wanda!

[@ladyw605]

@@carolseven3802 Definitely

[@cathyhermanson10]

My best Christmas was my husband proposing to me. We are still together after 49 years. We love each other to the moon and back.

[@joycesampson6699]

Merry Christmas to you and Desi, my memory is when I was 5 , my mom and my grandma went together and bought me a doll, that I wanted. We only got 1 present every year. I wanted that doll so bad, her name is Toodles, I’m am 70 years old now and I still have my doll. Every time I look at her I think of the sacrifices they made for me. Love to you and Desi, from Old Mines, Missouri.❤️❤️❤️❤️🌻

[@cynthiapeterson2740]

Susan, your story is so touching! I cried. Thank you for sharing. You asked about our best Christmas memories. Mine was Christmas 1981. I was pregnant with my first child & was due mid-January. Well, I went into labor Christmas Eve & my son arrived Christmas morning. It was an amazing Christmas. He’ll be 41 on 12/25. Sadly I will be visiting him in a nursing home to celebrate Christmas & his birthday. When he was 23 he was in a horrible car crash that left him paralyzed from the chest down…. he’s a quadraplegic. When I was young my church youth group visited nursing homes to sign caroles & deliver fruit baskets for the elderly residents. I never dreamed I would be visiting my son in one but praise God…. I didn’t lose my Christmas miracle.❤

[@chantellucky4565]

Hi Cynthia, I am so very sorry about your son. A young man in a care home brings tears to my heart!!! How does one able to go through all that sadness and sorrow and still be at peace as you are, I shall never know! But I am sending you love and prayers this Christmas🙏🏻🎄❤️ and hope you will take good care of yourself! I am estranger from my son since April this year, and just moved to a new place still unpacking but I managed to set up a Christmas tree with lights to cheer me up for this holiday season as I will be alone. Wishing you and your son a happy holiday! Chantelle from California

[@cynthiapeterson2740]

@@chantellucky4565 Oh, Chantel! I am just now seeing your very kind message. It means more to me than I can express adequately. I have “highs & lows” & today has been difficult so your sweet message came at such a good time! Thank you so very much. I don’t know how I have gotten through these past 17 years other than by the grace of God. I would trade places with my son in an instant if I could. I feel your pain about your estranged daughter, Chantel. I absolutely understand firsthand how much it breaks your heart because my daughter has chosen to be estranged from me on & off for the last two years. I have just had to put it in God’s hands. The holiday season is the most difficult. I pray for you that you manage to have some peace and relief of the heartbreak. Don’t give up. You are stronger than you know. I will be praying for you! Be kind to yourself & I wish you the best during this holiday season. Bless you always-

[@cynthiapeterson2740]

@@chantellucky4565 Chantel, forgive me. I misspoke. I meant to type your SON but typed your DAUGHTER . I’m sorry.❤️🙏

[@layde1]

@Cynthia Peterson My blessings to you, your son and the rest of your family. I will keep him in my prayers 🙏❤

[@cynthiapeterson2740]

@@layde1 Thank you so much for your kind words. Happy holidays to you and yours ❣️

[@nancymandle5215]

How terribly heartbreaking to have to give up your child. You have endured so much, yet your kind and gentle heart shines through. I wish for you a pleasant christmas, my dear.

[@LittlePoet]

Thank you so much for being here! A Very very Merry Christmas to you and yours, Love always, Susan & Desi

[@lilyfig4502]

Susan, Thank you for this video. I felt immediate empathy and connection hearing your story. To flee a strict household, my mother married at 18. As she was sickened by birth control pills, my father flushed them down the toilet. Within a few short weeks of marrying, my mother became pregnant with me. Needless to say, my birth rained on her parade. By the time my three siblings came along, she was more settled in the motherhood role. Nonetheless, throughout my life I am the one who frequently caught her anger and wrath. Her treatment of me as a child heavily impacted the lack in my feelings of worthiness. For many years I lived 1,500 miles away. I returned to my hometown three years ago. Although I am now 58 and she is 78, the emotional distance remains. I limit my conversations with her to plants and birds. She and I will never have the close relationship that she has with my siblings, but I have learned to make peace with it. Thank you again, Susan. Wishing you and darling Desi the most wonderful Christmas and happiest New Year!

[@harlowslo5733]

Please try to tell her how you feel so she can maybe apologize and make it right. I wish my daughter would tell me why she's distant, but it my life's great mystery. I truly don't know. Merry Christmas to you.

[@theloveyourfacegal2773]

💕

[@cosudu3002]

@@harlowslo5733 My daughter has quit talking to me but I know that she is truly addicted to drama and being a victim because if this thing that she is angry about got settled, she would find another thing to be angry about with me. She has done this to me over and over. I suspect it would never end. Believe it or not, I've made peace with what she does, it is ok.

[@patriciacorpe6228]

glad you have peace that so wonderful.

[@carolseven3802]

Lilly my dear cousin lived your life. She was the eldest. My aunt married due to her pregnancy with my cousin and she never said she loved her. My aunt had five children and never told her friends about her eldest. My cousin carried this wound and cried endless tears. Sadly her siblings all estranged themselves from her as well. She and I found each other and got to know each other later in life but the bond was so deep and wonderful. She passed two years ago. I’m so sorry you are in a similar situation. It’s not you!

[@slane_design]

Little Desi is precious! I lost my boxer dog (best friend) almost 2 years now and she just loved Christmas. I have pictures of her just gazing up at the tree and when people would come over she was in her happy place.

[@shelleysquires7225]

Yes he's a great vocal harmonizer!

[@gigi1332]

I lost my precious dog and best friend Daisy 4 years ago now and my life has been so empty without her. Yes I fill it constantly with work and doing many good deeds for anyone who I see who needs it but at the end of the day I just return home to a empty house and a husband of 43 years who hates animals and won't let me bring another one home. Being married can at times be the loneliest journey for so many reasons.

[@em1503]

@@gigi1332 just get a dog. It's your life too you know. Do what makes you happy and he will have to come around eventually ☺

[@kathleencernetich6243]

Aging isn't difficult the hardest part of getting old is watching all your closest loved ones die before you go in turn that brings on an absence that can't be filled by anyone at that time to be alone and all your most loved people that you once knew are dead that is the hardest part of aging

[@texasmimi5566]

Oh, yea. I was born late in life and had older females in my life who I loved very much, ie Mother, Sisters and Aunts. All are gone now, husband is gone, daughter is married with teenagers, I am alone and not close with nieces, nephews or cousins. I never imagined my old age, yet here it is. I cannot go back and remember, it hurts too much that those times are gone, never to return.

[@YeshuaKingMessiah]

U may be right Might be hardest thing

[@tamaralerette3669]

My mom and I had a difficult relationship. Ironically today is her Birthday. I’m adopted and I always felt she “settled” for me. She always made it clear my Dad wasn’t her first choice for a husband either. He passed away when I was 29 and mom died when I was 38. Like your mom, she never said she was sorry for anything. She developed a very aggressive cancer and I’ll never forget her final car ride as I was driving her to the Hospice House and we were talking and I told her how heartbreaking it was for my Dad and I to always feel we were 2nd best. She apologized and said in her heart she never felt that way. That was the most meaningful conversation we ever had. She died less than 2 weeks later on Dec 26. I went to see her the morning after Christmas and told her it was okay to let go and she passed that night. The valuable lesson learned from this is to never let issues go unresolved. Say what is in your heart while you still have the time. Merry Christmas to you and Desi!

[@jrjt21]

❤

[@nancypesch1345]

Susan, your video really touched me. My mother and I had a difficult relationship much of the time.She never apologized or admitted she made any mistakes. But the last time I saw her I heard her say in a quiet voice,"I love you" as I was already out of her sight and walking out her back door.I answered back "I love you" A couple days later she died, and I was the one who found her in her home. It was one of maybe 3 times she said those words to me. Such a difficult relationship. But I loved my mother. Your story touched me so much. Best wishes for a Merry Christmas.

[@LittlePoet]

Hello nancypesch1345 Thank you so much for leaving this comment. A Very VERY Merry Christmas to you! My love to you and yours always, Susan and Desi

[@lindafaierson6030]

Thanks for sharing your sentimental story. At 73, now, I think the most memorable Christmas was 1995. My immediate family gathered at my older brothers on the eve. We had our traditional ethnic dinner of roasted garlic lamb and the all different sides. My dad had been ill that year with heart and lung issues. I, being a RN, noticed he kept rubbing his lower leg and was quiet . He wanted to go home like 9ish and my middle brother helped him down the stairs. He told my mom and my brother to take him to the hospital. My brother came back in the house to tell us.. That brother had two little girls and mine were teen and preteen, so I told him I'd come to relieve him after we got home. I stayed with mom until dad got admitted. It was his emphysema causing his breathing issues so he was on a reg med floor. The next day we all were at our in laws for Christmas. . My mom called my mother in law at 8 pm ish to tell us dad took a turn for the worse. I was an hour away so we packed up and left for the hospital. I did call the floor to see how he was and knowing his nurse, she said he passed. I told her I was grateful he had a good nurse. When we got there my other siblings and mom were in a waiting room. For the last time, I kissed my dad goodbye and told him I love him. Being the only girl, I was daddy s girl. This time of year I'm reminded we were grateful to have that happy Christmas Eve, knowing he held on to keep that final family gathering with him. He was a staff sergeant in the army during WW2. It was heart warming they did a military send off in the chapel do to the cold. That my most memorable Christmas 🎄🇺🇲🪖

[@carolseven3802]

What a beautiful tribute to your father and loving memory. You write well! I hope you write these down for the future generations to know about your family.

[@annmeeks9273]

Susan, it feels like we lived the very same childhood. My mother too resented me and even told me that I “ruined her life” and as a child didn’t have the logical thought that “she ruined her own life”. Finally just before she died she told me she was proud of me. It was as I cared for her (I’m a nurse) in her final days. She said “you are so kind, you remind me of my daughter” That was the ‘blessing” I craved as I never thought I could please her or gain her love. Just telling me I was kind felt so good. Bless you for talking so transparently. Merry Christmas, Susan.

[@LittlePoet]

Thank you Ann so much for being here! Merry Christmas!!! xo Susan

[@rosemarybrewington8250]

Susan, I have been estranged with my son and sister. I have been alone for Thanksgiving and Christmas for about three years. Thank goodness I have my fur babies. I put it in God's hands and I have peace, contentment and so much joy. You are a great inspiration to me and I love you and Desi❤️

[@cynthiafisher9907]

Thank you for sharing your contentment and joy! It is a testament to others.

[@nicolejs9009]

I'm estranged now with my daughter over 10 yrs now. The worst thing is not knowing why. She shut me out and didn't say why. I miss her. I keep thinking what I'd say and do if given the chance. I wish she knew how much I love her and that she was able care enough for me to want to work it all out with me. I've realized that I can't change anything on my own. She'd have to want that too. Estrangement is worse than death because there is no closure. You know that this person you gave life to is out there and wants nothing to do with you. I just w ish she knew my heart...or even cared enough to want to know my heart. I pray for her continued happiness and blessings in life. It's all I ever wanted for her. I wish she knew that.

[@cynthiafisher9907]

@@nicolejs9009 I’m so sorry for your loss and pain. It sounds like you have a good attitude about it. God is a God of miracles, keep believing the Lord for her.

[@rosemarybrewington8250]

@@nicolejs9009 I understand, I don't understand why my son is not speaking to me. I wish I knew

[@rosemarybrewington8250]

@@cynthiafisher9907 I have turned it to God's hands

[@dawnweissling5623]

I should know better than to watch one of Susan’s videos while putting on eye makeup. Her story about her mom had my makeup running down my face in tears. That was beautiful.

[@tonihendrix6652]

Thanks for making me laugh 😊

[@sharonholiday-jr8kk]

That was me this morning. Same thing going on with me. Lol how crazy. I love Susan's videos. Moving on down the Road... 🎈

[@reneeraw6927]

Susan you are among the best storytellers I have ever listened to. Your ability to convey raw emotions is amazing. Who among us can’t relate to that story? I’m in tears. Wow, just wow. You speak from your heart. I wonder if you even know just how many lives you are touching.❤❤

[@LittlePoet]

You are so kind...you made me cry...I didn't really know people take what I say to heart...you made my night my sweet friend...xxoo

[@reneeraw6927]

@@LittlePoet Well I can’t speak for other people. However, I really believe you are touching lives. Your videos touch my heart deeply. There’s a depth and genuineness to them that is so rare on social media. You and sweet Desi are two beautiful souls. So many people are hurting emotionally in the world today. Each week you tell us about your struggles and we can relate to this. It helps people to know that we’re not alone with these challenges. But despite these difficulties, you always manage to keep looking for the lessons in these situations. And you not only persevere, but you rise above and inspire us all. Absolutely, you are such a positive influence to so many people. The “cherry on the top” is that, all the while you are so humble about your talents. I hesitated to even write all this because you are extremely busy and I don’t want to add to your workload….😩 Just wanted to say you are so deeply appreciated.💞😊

[@anastasiamacaya5126]

You’re a great narrator Susan. You should write a book. You tell stories in a meaningful way that people can relate to.

[@LittlePoet]

Hello @anastasiamacaya5126 ! Merry Christmas season! Thank you so much for leaving me such a sweet comment...it means the world to me. Have a great Sunday night...stay safe and happy! xoxo.. Susan and Desi

[@deniseb2571]

I can relate having had a mother with depression and poverty. It had more of an effect than she realizes.

[@lovelocked5385]

Forgive ❤️‍🩹

[@LittlePoet]

Hello @deniseb2571 Thank you so much for leaving this comment. A Very VERY Merry Christmas to you! My love to you and yours always, Susan and Desi

[@terrytt2932]

Oh Susan, the stories I could tell about my mother. Like the time she informed me that she hadn't been sure my father, was my father! Or the time she informed me she didn't like me at all. Or the time she 'flipped off' my at-the-time 16 y/o daughter, HER own grandaughter. There were others, Almost always fueled by martinis. I'll never forget the time she snapped at me in a group of friends, "I was a GOOD mother". The room went silent. I didn't cry when she died 6 years ago, if fact haven't ever, yet I tear up at tv commercials. I don't miss her, my children don't miss her but every once in a while, I have a semi pleasant memory of her, but they are far and few between. It's very sad for me when I hear stories of wonderful relationships with mothers and how devastated they are when they're gone. I'll never know that. It would be wrong for me to not add what an amazing relationship I had with my grandmother who basically raised me, her mother. In her last year of life, my "nana' lamented how she wished she hadn't spoiled her (only) daughter so. Even my father, (divorced 50 years) on his deathbed asked if she was still lazy. Thank you once again a great, meaningful video. Merriest of Christmas to you and Dezi ❣❣❣

[@brenyule]

Thank you for sharing your story. It was very touching. That lil' sweet boy Desi can sing! I just love him. Merry Christmas Susan. ✌🏼❣️🙋🏻‍♀️

[@deborah3912]

Not all of us had nurturing mothers, there is a verse in the bible that says, "when my mother and father forsake me, then the LORD will take care of me" and in my case He has done just that.

[@sirtedricwalker2979]

@@deborah3912 Amen.

[@nomadame333]

@@deborah3912 yes, amen 🙏

[@anamaria2053]

Susan, Thank you for your open heart and for sharing it with us. My parents are both deceased. Listening to your story I was reminded of my father’s resentment of me. It was something he never let up on throughout the years and caused so much pain which rippled throughout my relationships. He loved me and it was a very imperfect love. My mother wasn’t very effective at protecting me from his abuse, but she was the person I most loved and now miss. She always did so much to make every holiday special and I was always by her side cooking, cleaning and decorating. I carried forward many of the traditions that she shared with us and I know she was so proud and happy about that. Now, post COVID, I’m mostly alone, not totally. Many friends have passed. Others have moved away. And, a distance has developed among others. So we shall see what happens this holiday. If nothing, I’ll be having a cozy, yummy day with my pups. Wishing you the best 🌺🌺🌺

[@Wishpool]

My parents are both still alive at 78. However, the rest of your story is almost identical to mine. Sending you big Texas hugs for a wonderful Christmas day, no matter what you end up doing! 🎄🤶⛄

[@gigigilkes5907]

Wow Susan that was a wonderful Christmas story. Hallmark should use it for one of their movies! Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt story about you and your mom. ❤

[@Wishpool]

I was thinking the same thing about Hallmark. This would be a perfect story!

[@queenredpill5780]

Our Dear Susan, you are the most amazing storyteller. We just don't listen and cry or laugh...we learn. Thank you for sharing your life with us. Every week when I visit your channel, my own life becomes a little richer. Merry Christmas to you and little Desi.

[@xiloaperez453]

Oh Susan this is definitely a tearjerker. Just yesterday I sat and I wrote my estranged Son a greetings card. I had to stop so many times to catch my breath to try to figure out how to word it in between tears. As a mother, there is no greater pain than her children's rejection. Every single word you spoke of today applies to me. The Lord is so good, praise the Lord and all the relentless mothers out there that love their children. 🙏❤️

[@cynthiafisher9907]

A couple weeks ago I told my daughter she had to find another place to live because of her disrespect. I haven’t heard from her since she left. She is 27(going on 16) and a single mom. I am planning to write her a letter apologizing for things that happened when she was a child, things I know I did wrong. I am hoping and praying she receives it and forgives. I am sorry for your struggle with your son. These days younger people are taught to “Ghost” their parents if they are “toxic”. I will pray for you and your son. You are right, there is nothing that hurts worse than the rejection by your child.

[@LittlePoet]

A very Merry Christmas....I am saying a prayer for you and your family to be together once again...

[@LittlePoet]

@@cynthiafisher9907 Oh please take care of yourself and I hope your daughter and you mend your fences...xxooo Merry Christmas...

[@cynthiafisher9907]

@@LittlePoet Thank you very much!

[@2davivadiva]

You’re the reason she’s a teen mom and can’t fend for herself and you’re going to write her a letter?! You told her to get out?? Silly

[@leeleroux9092]

My mother and I had a turbulent relationship Susan. Years of up and down. My epiphany came at 42 when she turned 65. I looked at her on her birthday and thought she'll not change I'll have to. So we had a good 5 years until she died. I'm glad you were able to heal from your challenging relationships.

[@LittlePoet]

Thank you so much for being here! A Very very Merry Christmas to you and yours, Love always, Susan & Desi

[@suzannemakowski4352]

My mother didn’t raise me, her sister, my aunt did. But she tried to be with me every Christmas. She died 27 years ago this coming week. I still miss her. Your story made me cry. But we overcome our sadness. And can smile again. Merry Christmas, and love to you and Dezi.

[@jackieo8693]

What a beautiful story... God's love and grace are so apparent in your story...I wish I had been a better Mom! I will tell my children so, even though I am not estranged from any of them.

[@joycecochran4575]

One thing we all have in common is lots of heartaches as we go thru this troubled world. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I smiled so big when you and Desi sang. Precious, Merry Christmas to you and your family.

[@angellollar1083]

Oh my. Tears are cleansing. This is so identifying. Love does find a way. God bless you!!!

[@deltablue4369]

I needed this! I am estranged from my daughter (almost 10 yrs. now) and I really believe I may not see her again. I have prayed and because I do know that God cannot take care of my situation until I release it to Him. I have decided to leave it with him and LIVE!! The pain is excruciating but I must let this go and LIVE before I die!!

[@irenetovar7756]

I pray in Jesus Name that you and your daughter reconcile 🙏🙏🙏

[@ashleybergstrom8934]

I am in the same situation as you with one of my sons. Reached out to no avail. You said it so true. The pain is excruciating. I too have left it in God's hands. delta blue, I will keep you in my prayers. Most painful thing ever.

[@deltablue4369]

@@ashleybergstrom8934 You will be in my prayers as well! Be blessed!!

[@deltablue4369]

@@irenetovar7756 Thank you, I really appreciated your prayer for me! Be blessed!

[@ashleybergstrom8934]

@@deltablue4369 Thank you, means so much. xx

[@SRAshley100]

Oh my! This has me bawling. My best friends mother just passed and her situation was an estranged one. Her mother was an alcoholic. She flew to her mom on her death bed and they reconciled. Now I am nurturing her through feelings of regret and sadness that has came over her. She always just wanted her moms love. So sad because I had that mother like Beth and I wished everyone did, but we all have flaws and I wasn’t even the mother my mother was. The people we love deserve our love forever just as you said and it’s unconditional. Merry Christmas to you, Desi and all!

[@rositayoung2725]

Susan your Xmas story about you and your mother touched my heart! I stopped speaking to my mother, many years ago, because she wouldn't accept my marriage. It last for almost a year. Until my mother in law told me one day, that I needed to call my mother. She had been calling my mother in law( long distance) for months, because I wouldn't answer her calls. She said, "Don't have regrets" call your mother now! You have only "One" and nothing changes that! When I heard my mother's voice, I will never forget how wonderful, it felt. She's gone now, but I can still hear her say," Hello, is this really you. Are you OK. Please call your mother anyone who still has a mother. Thank you again. Merry Xmas.

[@LittlePoet]

Thank you so much for sharing a bit of your story with us....you sound like such a beautiful person...Merry Christmas!!! Susan & Desi

[@cherylpinter2134]

I don't have the proper words to express how my heart feels in hearing your beautiful testimony. As I hear pieces of your life throughout your videos, I think to myself that you are truly someone who has found true beauty in her ashes. You always find the good and you share it with others. Very powerful, thank you. I have had many wonderful Christmases and for that I am most grateful but the one that stands out the most for me is when I was 16 years old and my dad and I had just driven my boyfriend home after having him and several of our friends over for a gathering. It was snowing and I turned to my dad and said this is the most perfect Christmas. The next morning when my sister and I were opening gifts, my gift came in an envelope. I opened it up to find tickets to see Jerry Lewis, I have loved him since I was 5 years old. I think my mom and dad thought I was going to jump up and down and scream and shout but I sat there and I cried because I was so so overwhelmingly happy.

[@LittlePoet]

You touch my heart so deeply Cheryl....thank you so much...Merry Christmas! xo Susan

[@georgiaoblak8165]

To the wrong person, you will never be good enough. Good for you for leaving and rising above the nightmare

[@FaithyandOtis..Massachusetts]

This is such a heartfelt story. My daughter, my middle daughter actually did not go to her stepfather‘s memorial service(2014) Long story short she had a fight with her brother’s wife.. I was so hurt because after eight years of suffering, my husband died, and he raised my children as his own and did everything for them..whether it’s out of guilt or anything, she stop communicating. I didn’t see my three grandchildren and I just kept praying and praying that God will lay his hands on this when it’s time and I am now going to lunch with her and one of my granddaughters on Friday, God heals all wounds and it’s in his time not ours and it’s going to be strange see my granddaughter she was 11 the last time I saw her but I am taking it slow. I just wanted to share this with you by the way she changed immensely and she knows now that I have such a great faith in God and how much I love my church in my church family and I am devoted to that, and she actually asked me questions. But for the grace of God, who is the great healer, who is the great physician❤❤❤ thank you so much for sharing..🐶Otis and me… Massachusetts.. oh my goodness that was priceless. Seeing Desi howling, singing, I meant singing😅😅

[@chattycathy5003]

Happy for you! Have a great time getting back together!! God bless you

[@FaithyandOtis..Massachusetts]

@@chattycathy5003 thank you so much I am taking it very slow, may God bless you always

[@LittlePoet]

Thank you so much for being here! A Very very Merry Christmas to you and yours, Love always, Susan & Desi

[@lyndaslocs]

Your story is so touching. It made me wish for one more Christmas with my mom, who left us in 2015.

[@denissecafengiu2033]

Oh, my God Susan I can’t stop crying. I can’t imagine a teenager, just had a baby and when you need the most moral help you can get, you find yourself alone. I want to hug that girl, that’s walking in the cold winter and tell her that everything is going to be OK, that whatever life throws at her I will be always there for her. Life was hard on your mother also, I never judge people, we never know people’s battles they had to endure. I’m so happy you end up having such a great relationship with your mother and you saw her real fillings for you. You are such a wonderful soul, such a loving person, such a great mind. I so admire your level of understanding and forgiving people even if you suffered. I truly admire your strength, I learned a lot from you.❤️🌺

[@LittlePoet]

Oh you make me cry...how can I thank you so much for your compassion and kindness....thank you so much for understanding and walking in my shoes all those years ago......xxo Susan & Desi

[@denissecafengiu2033]

@@LittlePoet 🙌🏻🥰🌺

[@judysimpson2990]

You are such a sweet and kind soul !!! Wish you a very Merry Christmas and all the best in the coming year !! 💜

[@denissecafengiu2033]

@@judysimpson2990 thank you! I wish you also a very Merry Christmas and all the best in the new year.

[@jgator6694]

My God, this made me cry like a baby. I lost my Mom this year…there is nothing like a mother’s love. It is imperfect but eternal and true. This will be a hard Christmas without my Mom… NO ONE will ever love us like our Mother. 💔

[@LittlePoet]

Oh I am so sorry for your loss....my love to you and a very Merry Christmas! xxoo Susan & Desi

[@jgator6694]

@@LittlePoet ❤️

[@luciatat4084]

Not true for everyone, sadly. I don’t think my mom ever loved me.

[@luciatat4084]

I am sorry for your loss…

[@jgator6694]

@@luciatat4084 I am so sorry. Everyone deserves their mother’s love

[@paulapool5721]

Desi, you sing so pretty! Love your story of reconciliation, Susan❣️ Merry Christmas, dear ones!🎄

[@teresabolen6034]

Your very human and humble way of telling your story touched me to tears. I am so grateful for you tonight. Estrangement is a two-edged sword and is in my life as well. I have tried and tried to mend it and there is no doing that so far. Love always to both you and Desi.

[@ashleybergstrom8934]

I am so sorry to hear that you too are dealing with estrangement. I am also, 12 years now. Reached out in every way with silence in return. I miss my son. Hope we see healing and end this estrangement.

[@swankeliz]

This Christmas it’s my oldest daughter and I. We haven’t spoke for almost a year now. I’m praying I will end up seeing her this Christmas. I didn’t know you were a fellow Michigander till tonight. With your snow videos looks like you are up farther north than where I am here downriver outside of Detroit. Thanks for sharing pieces of your life and have a Merry Christmas! Liz

[@swankeliz]

Sorry I didn’t mean to write this as a reply to your comment.

[@LittlePoet]

Hello @teresabolen6034 Thank you so much for leaving this comment.I am so sorry for the hurt..love finds a way.. A Very VERY Merry Christmas to you! My love to you and yours always, Susan and Desi

[@freeandfabulous4310]

You 22:09 were so brave to make that call. Sounds like it changed your life. Glad your mom didn’t disappoint!

[@cuca1116]

Thank you for sharing your life with us. And, Desi - you are so talented! ❤ My Mom had Borderline Personality Disorder, was diagnosed in her 30s, and refused the diagnosis and medication. All my life, I was the one she took out all her frustrations on. She did not neglect me, always took care of her family - but she never said she loved me or showed any emotion toward me, except anger - until the last months of her life. You see, she had dementia, and she “forgot” all of her frustrations - and that’s when she loved me and told me everyday “I love you to pieces.” I was 60 years old. I truly wish I had known and understood her condition. She adored Christmas 🎄

[@ahill4642]

Fascinating that dementia patients sometimes forget to be angry. My aunt was the same, and it was a strangely beautiful gift to us. She’d been so guarded - judgmental and grumpy - that it was legendary. But then so innocently sweet and happy to see us in the end. Ah, I miss her. Thank you for sharing your story, Grace Marie.

[@jackieralston6951]

What a beautiful story. I miss my mom so much. I’m sitting here crying thank you for sharing this. It meant so much to me ❤️ Merry Christmas 🎄

[@LittlePoet]

Hello @jackieralston6951 Thank you so much for leaving this comment. A Very VERY Merry Christmas to you! My love to you and yours always, Susan and Desi

[@cametientaucoeur]

“Estrangement is not understanding what the other person is asking you to do”. Susan so well said This is the crux of it all, caring enough to understand each other, whether family or friends. Stepping outside of ourselves to feel what they think, feel, need & trying to meet their needs. Jeanne ( retired RN)

[@northcarolinagirl]

Wow, what a tremendous story you just told. I am crying and tears streaming down my face. You were so brave, and my story is so similar. I too moved out but I was 15. My mom and dad were alcoholics, and it was rough for me. My mom and I did make up and I took care of her for a very long time after she got sick in her older years. When I think of Christmas it revolves around being with my grandmother and great aunt and uncle. My happiest memories are of my great aunt and uncle who lived in the 1700's community of Old Salem, NC. They were Moravian and we really celebrated the whole season with them. There was a Candle Tea where you drank sugared milky coffee and ate a sweet bun, sung carols, heard the Christmas story, and saw a beautiful Nativity scene in the basement of the single brother's house. All very 1700's themed. I would love wandering the main street of that town and seeing the window displays all festive and beautiful. I did this every year until around 15 and then joined the Air Force at 17. That was 1976. To this day, I still do some of the Moravian traditions at Christmastime. I am thankful to my great aunt and uncle for caring so much about me during that time. I live not far from this Old Salem community and get to visit as often as I wish. Some days I just go and walk enjoying the memories.

[@LittlePoet]

Oh Anna you made me cry!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU!!!!

[@anitamay1737]

This was beautiful. It seems as we age we have so much time to reflect and understand and forgive. I love listening to you. As a lady commented skin pigmentation has no meaning at our age and that is so wonderful. We are all just people getting older and sharing and understanding our life’s similarities. Be Blessed

[@rosemaryburford7607]

Oh my goodness, Susan, I could not hold back the tears. Hearing your Christmas Eve story just ripped my heart out. It was the most BEAUTIFUL story I have EVER heard and it has touched me more than you can imagine. God bless you Susan and Merry Christmas. Love to you and Desi ❤

[@Cindy-bee]

Rosemary I cried too. At least there was a happy ending that Christmas.

[@LittlePoet]

Thank you so much for being here! A Very very Merry Christmas to you and yours, Love always, Susan & Desi

[@shamaywilliams-blake]

Oh Susan, the more I listen to you, the more I realize that the pigmentation of our skin doesn't make our life experiences any different. Good or bad. What a message you ministered today, one of love and forgiveness. May your mom rest in eternal peace. Love you Susan, you are truly one of a kind. God bless you plenty.

[@LittlePoet]

Hello @shamayb-williams2055 Thank you so much for leaving this comment. A Very VERY Merry Christmas to you! My love to you and yours always, Susan and Desi

[@shamaywilliams-blake]

@@LittlePoetThank you Susan. A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND DESI AS WELL. ❤️

[@lorib.8605]

Susan, my eyes were glued to your stories tonight...I went from hot red crying eyes to laughing at the adorable little Christmas concert given by You and Desi! Thank you for your openness and your sweet sincerity and love you offer every week! Merry Christmas to you and Desi! ❤💚

[@ashleybergstrom8934]

Same here! We got a little duet at the end.

[@LittlePoet]

@@ashleybergstrom8934 Desi can sing!!!

[@ashleybergstrom8934]

@@LittlePoet So adorable! Dogs are the best!

[@rosemarieverdon126]

Most people have to say goodbye without actuality, most have to part without ever holding on to other but than Spirit. Spirit has to leave ok? Spirit never leaves but has't to depart skin. Ok?

[@TheYorkshirelady]

Thank you Susan, I loved your story, so heartfelt, poignant, I can imagine your joy that Christmas reunion meant for you both. Desi has a fine voice, right on cue, 😘 Have a happy and joyful Christmas, with love from Sandra in the UK. Xxx

[@susanlester1]

What a precious story. I'm sobbing. God bless, Merry Christmas 🎄⛄

[@lucyloo7457]

Absolutely beautiful video! Great work, Susan as always! The very best to you and Desi this holiday season. Much love and friendship.

[@brendabrooks9699]

Oh my goodness Susan that was absolutely beautiful ❤ I was never estranged from my mom or dad when they were alive but I do miss them so much especially on holidays. However when they died it was of the whole family fell apart. My nephew had commented that they were the glue that held the family together and that was so true. Again I wanted to tell you that you make the most beautiful videos I look forward to them every week. Please have a Merry Christmas ❤

[@smilingsun581]

Thank you Susan for sharing your story. I too had tears running down my face listening to your story. Like others here, I too am estranged from most of my family and on top of that facing an immanent divorce and realize that I possibly might be alone for future holidays. It's not easy and never thought that I would be in this predicament especially since I hosted holidays at my home for 25 years with family coming who now don't invite us to their holidays! You are so fortunate to have reconciled with your mom. We have to be thankful for life's little gifts along the way. And thank you Desi for your helping your mom with her song! All the best to everyone!

[@pattyallen5313]

Susan, THANK YOU so very much for sharing your heart & life with us once again. Through your story, you have shown us what courage and perseverance can bring and we are all better for it!!! BLESS YOU!!! The older I get ( I am 67), the more I realize how complicated relationships are. I was raised by 2 loving parents who blessed me and my 4 sisters. Then I married a wonderful guy at 18 and moved from GA to NH. My new mother- in- law & I had a very strained relationship from the start, even though I tried with ALL in me to be sweet and loving to her. She always made me feel like I just wasn't good enough for her son. Even being in her presence for 5 min had me shaking. She had a very hard life, a failed first marriage, a very difficult 2nd marriage and then she & her 2nd husband both became alcoholics. Thank the good Lord, they both recovered and at the end of their lives they became softer with each other and passed with dementia. I recall writing a poem which came from our relationship. I'd like to share it with you here ----- "Accepting others as they are, At times is hard to do. But stop for a moment, and think about it, They're not perfect, now, are you ???? Love that's true and honest and pure, Is a gift from the Lord to be had. So let's follow Jesus and Love One Another, And look for the good, not the bad !" Also, I want to THANK YOU and Sweet Desi for your Christmas duet - SO ,SO, CUTE !!!!! Love to you both ! ❤ ❤

[@LittlePoet]

Hi Patty! I agree...nothin gis simple ...one size doesn't fit all...thank you so much for being here! A very Merry Christmas to you! Love always, Susan & Desi

[@marabolin3038]

I literally bawled through this video . My oldest son has been estranged from me for several years now. When he began to turn that cold shoulder on me I asked why? As a Marine he stood cold and never a reply. This February will be 3 years since I’ve heard my sons voice and seen my 4 grandchildren. I tried so many times to get him to open up and explain his anger towards me. He would not speak. At a couple gatherings ( his cousins wedding) he shuns me. The first couple of years as he began to shun me at his childrens sports events I truly did not understand? I left every event in tears, but I loved my grandchildren and tried to attend until it just got too hard to be shunned in public and I couldn’t hold back the tears at all anymore. I miss those babies sooo much! I eventually had to seek therapy because I was crying every day. My ex husband told me it was because I left him while our son was in Marine Corps. He had been extremely verbally abusive to me and the kids ( yelling at us in public and in the home for years) and I finally left. So, I accepted that I’d lost my son in the divorce. We all lived in a small town. It was so hard seeing my son and family at grocery store having them shun me. I apologized and apologized to no avail. Two years ago I moved to another state to care for my aging father, who passed 11 months after my arrival. I always send holiday cards and birthday cards with money to my grandchildren, hoping they receive them🙏. After 9 months of therapy I had to accept that my son is a man in his 30’s and his decision is his decision. He blocked me from social media and his phone. I know I wasn’t the best mom. I loved him like crazy! My first born❤. I was overwhelmed as I had his siblings , a brother, then twins brother and sister within 13 months. I tried hard as I could to care for them all with a husband yelling at me all the time. I was a scout leader, school lunch lady, helped with sports to make sure he had as good a childhood as I could provide. And yet, very overwhelmed with three babies too. I’m going to dig very deep and write a letter apologizing to him for not being the mom he needed. For apparently not being the grandma he expected me to be to his children? For divorcing his father. And any other faults I can find ( no doubt many). I pray constantly for his heart to soften. I’ve written several letters over the years, but apparently not the correct apology he needs to hear? I miss him and my grandchildren soooo much. I’m blessed to be spending Christmas with my three other adult children ❤❤❤ Always praying at some point my oldest son may forgive me my faults.

[@tribbles2955]

Mara, I haven't been able to get your post out of my mind since I read it Saturday night. I have some thoughts some of which you probably won't like. I hope they are coherent and not too jumbled. There isn't a woman on this forum who would not raise her hand when asked if they made mistakes as a mother. I know I did; you probably did, too. But, should you burn in hell? Should you be humiliated in public by shunning? Only religious nuts do that. I was a high school teacher for years and met many parents that were lovely people but, unfortunately, had rotten kids. It happens. Your son sounds like a thoroughly nasty, ugly, mean spirited person undeserving of even one more minute of your time. Why you are groveling to maintain this toxic relationship is a mystery. You can't have been all bad as you have a functioning relationship with your other adult children; shower them with your love and attention. If I were you I would write off the man baby snot until he apologizes to you. As Meatloaf said "Two out of three, ain't bad." In your case three out four. There's a book out there titled "Be the one you need: 21 life lessons I learned taking care of everyone but me" by Sophia Nelson. I think you might get some good from it.

[@Wishpool]

@marabolin3038- I'm 55 and don't have kids, so I may not be the best person to speak on this, but I've had many estrangements with my parents over the years (mainly bc of my dad). My only brother is so much like my dad and we've been mostly estranged for 23 yrs. I've never met his son (my nephew). I still reach out to my bro, but he shuns me with silence. I don't apologize, though (I never did anything to deserve this and I don't think you did, either). I think one apology was enough. What did your therapist say? I think over apologizing makes you look guilty when you're not. Life happens and you did your best! The issue is with *him* at this point and it'll help free your heart/soul to show strength & acceptance. Enjoy Christmas with your other children, and hopefully, he'll come around again one day. I'm sorry for your pain and I wish you a peaceful heart at Christmas and all year!

[@sistasunshine1697]

Dear Mara. My story is very similar to yours. My only son shut me out of his life 2 years ago. He is 19 now and has been living with his father since he was 15. I divorced his father when he was 3. And we had joint custody. His father is/was emotionless , controlling and manipulative. My regret is letting my son move to the city his dad lived in to attend a prestigious college prep school. He brainwashed me and my son that this was the BIG opportunity not to be missed.( I was living in a tiny town ...one highschool) I gave the permission for him to go thinking he would resent me of I didn't. I thought I was doing the right thing. My son slowly started to shut me out. The pain was immense. The more I reached out to him the more he cut me off. Around this time I lost my 2nd husband to brain cancer. My world crumbled. So here we are 2 years have gone by......no contact at all. I've gone thru deep depression and thank God pulled thru. I wait and pray for the day he reaches out to me. I pray for you too. Have a blessed Christmas with your loved ones.

[@hedykarim3614]

@@WishpoolI know the feeling , also childless and estranged from parents .I am noT close to my siblings because I moved to another country when I turned 18 and have no family . Have a peaceful Christmas and sending you some happiness .

[@Wishpool]

@@hedykarim3614 Thank you so much! I hope you have some friends or a precious pet to spend the day with. And if not, enjoy a good movie, book, or nature. Wishing you a peaceful, happy Christmas, too!

[@laurelvance5533]

Such a beautiful, heartwarming story. Brought tears to my eyes. I enjoyed hearing you and Desi sing together at the end. 😊❤ Merry Christmas to you and Desi. 🌲 And may your New Year be bright.

[@LittlePoet]

Thank you so much for being here! A Very very Merry Christmas to you and yours, Love always, Susan & Desi

[@lorriegasses6865]

Thank you for sharing your story, it brought tears to my eyes for all you've been through. I look forward to seeing you and Desi each week.

[@karenwallwork1849]

Dear Susan ~ I found you yesterday 30 July 2024 and Thank you so much for being YOU and doing these most wonderful podcasts of love and life with so much heart wisdom ~ just fabulous to watch as your photography filming and music is perfect and beautiful. I have had a tough emotional life and a bit younger than you ~ so much of what you speak about I can match and so I have found a wonderful SOUL person in you to be inspired to be all that I can be ~ because as you so often say ~ love and joy is the key to being at peace with yourself. Thank you for the encouragement you give out for us to be delighted in and see the world with so much joy and love ~ I look forward to being with you into the next decade of life. Much love and blessings Karen from the UK xxx

[@ivonnevermeer3600]

What beautiful story, tears are running over my face, my mother never came back to my sister and me, and I was born on her birthday, and for many years till she died, I have waited for her, when we were taken from her, she said, I will come to take you home on the 28th of December, but she never did, it still breaks my heart. She started a new family and never looked at us 🤷‍♀️ my best Christmas was the day I met my husband, and two years later my son Raymond was born.....❤️ Have a nice week dear Susan and Desi 🥰

[@traceygartrell3419]

Thank you from bottom of my heart Merry Christmas to you and desi

[@vicki1120]

Your beautiful story brought me to tears. Desi, I love your singing!

[@pennysue8926]

God bless you Susan... for such a beautiful story... such a personal story... raw and real. I sat with tears down my face through most all of it. I have a few favorite Christmas memories... but none better than celebrating Christmas in the year of 2005. I had been diagnosed with breast cancer in April... had all the things.... surgery, chemo and radiation... and all the fears of maybe not being able to "see" Christmas of 2005. God granted me that... and here we are in 2022... I am so blessed. I too have estranged family... and am not quite certain how or if ever the relationships will ever mend. But in their own time... things will work themselves out... however they need to be. Today is my 60th birthday!!! (Well, actually *yesterday* 12/17). I made it!! I'm in the 60's club!! (That sounds so cool!) Love and hugs to you and Desi... you both are just so very precious! Penny Sue

[@LittlePoet]

Hello @pennysue8926 Thank you so much for leaving this comment. A Very VERY Merry Christmas to you! My love to you and yours always, Susan and Desi

[@chilloften]

What a precious memory. I was crying my eyes out. 🎄🎄 Desi singing is so sweeeeet. Bless his heart for caring so much.

[@LittlePoet]

Oh thank you so much for understanding and being so kind...I will always remember that night...always...xxoo Much love, Susan & Desi

[@lindanolasco3918]

Thank you for reminding me of what is so important in life. Beautifully said Susan.❤

[@elizabethgibbens]

Hi Susan and Desi.What a beautiful story that was. Makes me miss my mom, who passed on my birthday 2008. Desi is so cute when he sings. I wish you and Desi a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. ❄️⛄️🎄❄️

[@sherrymacdonald261]

Susan, you touched my heart. My Mom and I had an up and down relationship....but it really improved as Ì got older and I realized there was so much she did to show me how much she really loved me.I spent so many years thinking she did not care or not proud of me. I was adopted and when I had my last son at 40 yrs old, I invited my Mom to be by my side and watch the birth, ( she had never witnessed a birth). From the moment we shared that experience together, our relationship shifted...brought us together. Just before she died ( 12 yrs ago) we held one another and openly told each other how much love we had.Side note: So many friends came to her funeral...alot ! They all said to me " your Mom talked all the time about you and told us how very proud she is of you"!! Imagine...I did not know, yet these people one after another told me this....and it warmed my heart. I am so blessed and happy for you Susan that you reconciled your relationship with your Mom. We are loving and empathy for people because of our Moms❤ Thankyou for sharing your Christmas memory with us. Wishing you and Desi much happiness in the coming year and a very Happy Christmas full of joy and love and laugh🍗🥧🌲🍬

[@mimistans7715]

I’m crying with you. Miss my mom and dad. And I’m in my late 60’s.

[@KimberlyLetsGo]

What a wonderful story and a wonderful ending. Happiest of Christmases to you and Mr. D!!

[@Floppyearsmomma]

Oh my gosh!!! I have no words just tears. Okay, I do have words for this one thing. I loved how at the beginning of your story, Desi photobombed you on the sofa! I think he was tipping us off that there was going to be a happy ending! Happy Holidays, and give Desi hugs and kisses for me!

[@AQuietPerspective]

Oh, my hearts aches hearing your story, it mirrors mine so definitely. It was the first real relationship I had in 20 yrs after a truly ugly divorce. He was a Dirty John just like the mini series. Smooth, charming, a true sociopath. 2 yrs chained to him with zero self-esteem left. Years it took to regain all emotional I lost to his manipulation. My mom and grandmother had the falling out over the "drive me", going. I was 8 yrs old. I was very sick and couldn't be left alone. Grandma wanted to go grocery shopping. Mom said that evening she would drive her after my dad got home. Grandma want morning not evening. Mom said no. Grandma said "you are dead to me". And they never spoke again, nor did she speak to me until just before my 16th bday. Hers was the day before mine. She spoke to my mom for the first time, was invited to supper on my day. She never showed. She died of a massive heart attack, they found her 3 days later, in her party dress still holding her mascara wand. We all thought she had changed her mind and wasn't coming over. She and my mom never had a chance like you, a blessing, to Smooth things out. My mom's gone now, 2 years next month, my dad 12 yrs now. They were my holiday people. My siblings and i are not close by, my friends are around but have huge families. It's just me and my little dog, Lilly. She's 13 yrs now. So our holidays are quiet walks and long naps at the holidays. Thank you for sharing your truths. You make me feel not so by myself. Merry Christmas.

[@kimrobinson6280]

i am estranged from my only son it causes me a lot of grief , love and best wishes Beautiful Susan Merry Christmas 💝💝🌲🌲🌲 great singing Desi xxxxx

[@sammie4695]

.You are so loved by your subscribers (including me) because of your sincerity and that you share things we can all relate to. If you had alot of times in your life when you didn't feel love, well you have it now. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to you & Dezi. Loved his singing! 🎅🤶

[@LittlePoet]

Merry Christmas my wonderful friend!!!

[@artistcarolyngrace1711]

So precious dezi is!!

[@deborah3912]

Wow Susan, you have me in tears, this was so powerful! Thank you so much for sharing! I hope you have a Merry Christmas...and please forgive me.

[@debwis1688]

My 40 yro son and I are estranged .. I texted him just now and told him how much I love him .. thanks for the nudge

[@donnadouglas5680]

Thank you for sharing. My mom passed away this last May. I was the oldest and had changed her life. My parents had been married 8 years before I was born, after my birth my mother missed her freedom to do as she wished. I have one younger sister who is my Mothers favorite. I was close to my dad, who was my rock but he died when I was 16, I went through similar things to yourself, living alone and supporting myself at 16. You were blessed that your mother really had a kind heart, my mother did not. I took care of my mother near the end of her life, tried to bring joy to her life. She never told me she loved me, and left everything to my sister. I am now trying to work through not having her love but to be grateful she gave me the gift of life. Thank you for your honesty have a blessed christmas.

[@kathyjones4869]

I also wanted to say that my mom passed away a year and a half ago and I miss her so much and your story with your mom touched my heart and has comforted me at this time of year! Thank you so much! You are the sweetest person!

[@ashleybergstrom8934]

Tomorrow is the last day a year ago I saw my mom on this earth. She passed two days after Christmas last year. I miss her dearly. Bittersweet for sure. I think watching this video today has touched both our hearts with some comfort. Hugs

[@LittlePoet]

Thank you so much for being here! A Very very Merry Christmas to you and yours, Love always, Susan & Desi

[@riverramblings4843]

This was so powerful and beautiful of a message...I was reconciled with my daughter after a 7 mth estrangement back in 2019. It was brutally painful as it involved my grandchildren. We now have a good relationship and I am grateful every day for it. It began with a letter filled with blame from her for past mistakes. But I answered that letter with both humility and love that she took to heart. We built upon that with forgiveness, peace and love. It is possible to rebuild a bridge ❤️

[@lisaroman4755]

Susan, I just love your Christmas story. I'm so glad that you and your mother reconciled. My favorite Christmas memory from 1985 is my husband and I putting the boys in a red wagon and walking down to the grocery store in the snow to get Christmas dinner. Have a wonderful holiday! 🌲

[@irmaatq9226]

Oh what a beautiful lady you are inside and out. You made me cry, but you also made me smile and smile BIG. BLESSINGS! 💜

[@lindadainard7629]

Susan you sure know how to make a woman cry. Your memory was so touching and personal. I pictured you in my mind going through the bittter snow and making that important call to your mom. Just loved Desi's singing. You are one in a million, so thankful I found you on utube. Have a joyous with Desi and wishing you many blessings on 2023.

[@kathyirvine6719]

I'm crying to hard to say anything hardly Thank God for your Precious Mom! I believe God brought you two together and I am Thankful for that. You Truly Had A Wonderful Christmas and Life. Merry Christmas Angel!

[@kathyabeauty]

Desi singing was the BEST! Favorite memory was my mothers last christmas. I was living with my new husband but came home when my father took her to the hospital for her chemo. I ran and got the christmas tree all set up, decorated it and put some presents under it that I had for her in my car. She came home and squealed with glee like a child when she saw the lit up tree and all the cards I taped to the stairs (old family tradition). She really looked and felt better in her happiness. She died that following September.

[@zazminrios7951]

Believe or not, your video is the best. I never had mom. She gave up 3 small children to live her life. Your mom, Susan, was not perfect but she had and kept you through thick and thin. Blessed Christmas my dear.

[@artistLife-gh3te]

My Mom celebrated Christmas mostly with her friends. I didn't ask her over.This is such a relief to say it. I enjoyed Christmas without her and tried not to feel too guilty. CHRISTMAS is worth celebrating, with those you love. WHEW! She died several years ago.

[@cynthiafisher9907]

I kind of understand your comment. Having had a difficult relationship with my mom, I was somewhat relieved when, after she died, Mother’s Day rolled around and I didn’t have to try to find a gift or card to try to please her. I spent too many years resenting her. As I got older, I realized she did the best she could, raising three kids as a single mom. I think forgiveness is the most important thing we can do. I hope you have been able to forgive.

[@cosmicocean9302]

What an absolutely beautiful story!! A mother’s love is sooo special.

[@celestepaces8021]

This hit close to home. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. My favorite Christmas memory is the feeling of love and community when as a child we had Christmas programs at our country church. I will never forget. Merry Christmas to you & Desi.

[@genie674]

My Mother was a narcissist and my childhood wasn't good. She had a golden child but that was not me. I was a sensitive child and her snide remarks and put downs affected me badly and I've carried them my whole life. The golden child put my Mum into care and she spent over 20 years in two facilities. I had very little contact with her until she had a series of mini strokes when she turned 100 years old and was moved to a facility closer to me. I decided I would step up and I spent 4 days a week with her. She hadn't changed but she had a few weeks in hospital when she was 105 and I visited every day. The golden child was nowhere to be seen. One day she turned to me with an astonished look on her face and almost begrudgingly said "you've been a wonderful daughter to me", the only kind thing she had ever said to me in my life. She realised too late as she passed away a couple of weeks later.

[@LittlePoet]

What an amazing story you and your Mom had...she had a long life...and you did one amazing thing for her...you are such a good woman....I know a little of your pain and it runs very deep.

[@jackietempleton6759]

Wishing you and Desi a Merry Christmas and a very blessed New Year.

[@susanfernandez7475]

so heartwarming, thank you

[@hellodenise9612]

Thank you ! I needed to hear this! God Bless You!

[@levans3447]

Oh my when you called your mom ... I felt that! As a mom... I know her heart was so full. You blessed your mom that night .

[@patriciaatkinson4500]

Dearest Susan, your story with the happy ending is a hopeful blessing to all. I too was moved to tears by it's beautiful telling and happy resolution, 50 years in the making. Let's all Join our hearts in random acts of kindness both inside and outside our families. Praying for you and all the people we share with in this community. A SMILE, A KIND WORD. LOVE IS THE ESSENCE OF CHRISTMAS...and as the Beatles said, it is ALL we need!

[@lindajardee]

My dad who passed at going on only 43 years old of a massive heart attack in 1970 when I was almost 15 years old will always break my heart. He had a tradiiton that I remember him doing probably every year. He must've heard me sing The Little Drummer Boy in a grade school concert. Anyway, every Christmas he would have me stand in front of our guests & sing The Little Drummer Boy. Such a beautiful memory I have.

[@josephvolgyi3382]

Oh God how you touched my heart as you told the story of your and your mom’s estrangement and the forgiveness through love.

[@LittlePoet]

Thank you so much...memories...they make us who we are...xxoo love to you, Susan

[@ladylake4026]

Hi Susan, Merry Christmas. Your story brings tears to my eyes. Christmas is a painful time of year for me. My parents divorced when I was 8 yrs old. I always felt guilty leaving one parent alone when we had to be with the other parent. I am now 63. My favorite memories now of when my children were young and at home. I have a lot of compassion for children and adults during the holidays. I increase my volunteerism during the holidays to show the love of God through me. God bless you.

[@LittlePoet]

Thank you for volunteering...that is beautiful...a very Merry Christmas to you! xo Susan & Desi