every moment from everywhere at the end of time that made me cry

love this album, review soon

[@jamiestewartslover]

Hey! Thank u for all the random support on this video♡ just wanted to let you all know that i have my own caretaker fan project out right now that im devoting a massive ammout of my time to, heres the link to he first album: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bmmqimaQl5V1oac

[@harry.t9523]

You sound like a very emotional person. I’ll admit that the album got to me too a little, but not nearly to the extent that it got to you though.

[@jamiestewartslover]

@@harry.t9523 yeah lol, I have a massive fear of being forgotten/forgetting people, my grandmother has been showing early signs of alzheimers disease, so it got to me even more than it probably would have, and the music just sounds sad as hell (ie: stages 2 and 4)

[@harry.t9523]

@@jamiestewartslover It’s the ending of “Place in the World Fades Away” that hits the hardest. It’s probably the most depressing pieces of music I’ve ever heard. That was the part that got to me the most, and what’s more is that it’s left open to interpretation of what it’s really supposed to mean.

[@harry.t9523]

@@jamiestewartslover Have you listened to “Nowhere at the Millennium of Space”? It’s basically EATEOT but with samples from more modern music. It’s not quite as hard a listen as EATEOT but it’s still a tough one to get through.

[@thenumber39]

Honey… are you telling me that you cried at least 21 SEPARATE times during this album? Are you ok…? Do you need a hug or anything?

[@jamiestewartslover]

Yes

[@thenumber39]

@@jamiestewartslover *gives you digital hug* you gonna be ok

[@jamiestewartslover]

@@thenumber39 real

[@namenloserflo]

that's about twice an hour :(

[@greenshirtguy6220]

Quite an emotional rollercoaster

[@katethecrazy2005]

The terminal lucidity part is heartbreaking, but I also find it strangely beautiful and bittersweet. The patient is finally experiencing clarity and closure, meaning that they don't have to die while dazed and confused. It's still sad that they died after such an awful, undeserved struggle, but they do get to experience some semblance of respite and peace before their death.

[@creepermangaming7912]

what is even sadder is that not everyone experiences terminal lucidity, some people just die confused and sad, not remebering who, or what they are, or what's happening.

[@theamazingduffel]

​@@creepermangaming7912 Damn.

[@The_Variables]

@@creepermangaming7912 it’s just a chance you get terminal lucidity.

[@Roastedghost66]

The entire "Hell Sirens = war flashbacks" is so overused at this point, it's nice to see a different take on it for once

[@dementedgamer0810]

Hell Sirens = Sundowning I agree with u It should represent sundowning. Imo, False Memory Syndrome represents war flashbacks more than the hell sirens.

[@noahplaysgames3748]

i imagine that the high-pitched part (the part that actually sounds like a siren) is war flashbacks, and everything else is sundown.

[@AidenGreen-re5tj]

The sample for the part near the end (the loud part) was sampled from a violin. Just felt like mentioning that.

[@HinanaweedTeshno]

Hell Sirens, to me, is a moment of clarity. It is the absolute terror of realization over what they've become and how much they've decayed already. As for Terminal Lucidity, I don't see it as taunting but rather the disease offering some closure because... well, it won. It's going to take them any second now and sometimes, it's kind enough to let them pass whole rather than in the broken state they were in before.

[@bruhbenton]

HELP I STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD AT THE FUCKING THOM YORKE IMAGE

[@mariagrijalva5880]

You mean the thumbnail?

[@bruhbenton]

@@mariagrijalva5880 3:51 there's a thom yorke

[@Hat-Kid]

i interpret the hell sirens as a moment of remembering, because it sort of sounds like the caretaker does remember, but then realizes that they are still screwed because Alzheimer's can't be beaten, therefore that is why the hell sirens sound dreadful, or scary.

[@jessjuju11]

They might be ww2 flashbacks, like to war and invasions were happening.

[@joel-boi]

Stop, you're gonna make him cry again

[@Hat-Kid]

@@joel-boi *shit*

[@notageologist3022]

​@@jessjuju11air raid sirens and the like

[@tobycrow]

Yeah, it seemed like a moment where they do get their memories back... and it's not better. It's all of what they didn't want to remember and means they're aware enough to tell they're losing it all again

[@QueenGreenflame]

The hell sirens never fail to send shivers down every part of my body that can get shivers, holy SHIT they bring out such a fight or flight instinct

[@audrey7003]

the amount of dread those give me is just... damn. i am scared

[@xMedic_TF2x]

Oh god-Wait until you hear REAL hell sirens😭

[@persik123]

@@xMedic_TF2x wdym?

[@xMedic_TF2x]

@@persik123 like actual sirens

[@persik123]

@@xMedic_TF2x You mean, like a fire truck?

[@not_an_arg_]

8:55 i hear someone saying 'Who are you?' here. a man. that makes me think that this is the last time the Caretaker remembers his own voice.

[@yaboytroy357]

B2 sounds like a song from an old peanuts cartoon. Definitely comforting music.

[@anemoia6]

ikr, so does a ton of caretaker songs

[@funtimefredboy2350]

Im not gonna pretend to be a tough guy here, I get emotional pretty easily, but Everywhere at the end of time’s terminal lucidity and Everywhere in the beginning or nowhere Final Edition’s terminal lucidity have really gotten me to cry when it comes to these dementia albums, and thats an understatement, I could go on for hours honestly

[@cartoondragon8946]

3:50 That jumpscared me more than the entire album 💀💀😭

[@HeortirtheWoodwarden]

Same, it felt like an analog horror jumpscare.

[@sq1tl]

I know someone else commented this, but it makes me feel so odd that I never cried during this whole album. Stage 4 caught me off guard and kinda made me feel sad, and I also felt sad throughout most of stage 6, but it went away after the first 40 minutes or so. It just surprises me how something that has brought almost everyone to tears, or at least to some sort of deep sadness, didn’t effect me at all. What I did notice during this album is that I always became sort of hopeful whenever I recognized a section from Heartaches or any other song. I would open my eyes, and be like “..hey! It’s Heartaches! I know this!” and then it would fade away into obscurity again, leaving me with just noise again. Other than that, it just feels weird to me that I never felt truly emotional, the most I felt was a sort of emptiness.. that’s it. But I must admit, even though I never felt emotional or cried during this album, it really made me rethink life in a sort of way. I really, really hope I never get dementia / alzheimer’s, but in the slim chance I do, I’ve been learning to cherish every moment. Anything that can bring at least a little happiness to me, I feel grateful for, because that moment will never happen again, and if I get dementia later on, it will have never happened at all to me. I hope that one day a cure is found for dementia / Alzheimer’s, because it’s truly one of the worst, if not the worst thing that can happen to someone. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. This album is easily in one of the top 5 of all time for me, it’s such an interesting concept executed so perfectly.

[@giselletorres4156]

Yo same! I think part of what made me not cry was reading the comments section beforehand and focusing too much on all the timestamps. Because I was anticipating the scare in the hellsiren section and the last 5 minutes of the album I didn't fully immerse myself in the album so I felt like I wasn't appreciative of EATeoT enough. I got a jumpscare beginning of stage 5 but that's it. I've been an avid listener of ambient, drone, and noise tracks so stages 5 and 6 I can tune off. Late Afternoon Drifting made me feel sad, as in the title I interpret it as someone drifting away to their end, unaware of what's going on. Back there Benjamin was *the* song I can't forget, good god I wish I can relive the experience of hearing it for the first time because that first song in phase three made my skin crawl.

[@senpaiwithagun1009]

@@giselletorres4156 I never cried or got truly emotional either also probably because I had already known a lot about the album before going into it and was just checking timestamps frequently instead of just letting the music consume me I wish I had but it’s probably because of my ADHD

[@pecoragentry]

Exactly!

[@267arm]

I got emotional the first time I heard this, because I was in the process of losing my grandmother to Lewy body dementia. This was about a year after we lost her husband (my step grandfather). I have so many fun memories of visiting them from my childhood, and knowing that they had lost all of it destroyed my soul.

[@theoneandonlynutzley1946]

I don’t know if you noticed, you can actually hear the piano notes from the final N1 clarity for a few minutes beforehand, and you can even hear the same notes of the clarity very faintly a few seconds before the clarity itself

[@jamiestewartslover]

I didn't notice it while making this, I noticed it after a relisten for another vid I'm working on

[@subliminalhotellyn_tbhc6036]

8:09 this whole section of 20 minutes or so made my mind 100% blank while I listened all the way through.

[@WyattRobbins14]

TRUE. At a certain point in listening to this album, you literally lose the ability to think outside of what your ears are hearing. (That was the point of the project haha 😂😮)

[@Donpollahater420]

7:02 another interpretation could be a "sundown" episode, in which the patient has temporary outbursts of confusion, anxiety, and anger :( Segment sample: Mantovani and his orchestra- granada

[@anemoia6]

imo it doesnt feel like sundowing. sundowing usually would occur more often and it wouldnt be that harsh, but good theory

[@vibrantgleam]

to me it just sounds like giving up.

[@Niiiko895]

I would call A5-B1 “the slight confusions era”, because of how they portray the whole thought of something slightly off but the patient’s brain interprets it being that they’re just old and it’s natural as time goes on, it seems like denial but they’re not aware yet that they’re in denial

[@butterbox111]

The last 5 minutes made me heartbroken, just seeing that all those memories died out and the only thing left is your body, and it was all for nothing, as a choir of angels mark your unfortunate death, while being distorted and static, with a sad piano to show that you are dead. It's like all thos memories and fun and effort was wasted, with the only remenats being a lifeless soul, and that you'll never see that person or have memories with that said person ever again. And to top it all off, there's a complete minute of silence which is found when people give a moment of silence for said dead person. It's a subtle detail that really made my heeart break, and the imagery is a lonely board with tape and a green void with nothing else, to show that the memories died off and the only thing left is that dead body laying in silence, ready to be sent up to the gods. Also, this track perfectly represents dememtia with the first song played, Heartaches, which is shown in stages 1, 2, 3, and 4. It showly gets more distorted and choppy to show that that memory is burning and fading away into nothingness, with stage 4 being choppy, and srambled mess showing that the memories are slowly getting static, glitchy and hopeless as time goes by, with the inevitable death marching towards them. And all of the hudden messages shown in each state, like a memory fighting back but unfortunately burning away, and the caretaker relieving their glory days before they die out. okay how did i write a comment this long

[@TheOldenMemories]

Too long

[@budakgame4506]

Some random facts In G1 "heartaches" segment you can clearly hear C3, but what you probably dont know there is also A1 and F7 The H1 "struggle" segment you referred to has Libet's Delay, the song that is used in F7 Temporary Bliss State only uses one song, E7 Also you can hear J1 in the G1 "heartaches" segment In O1 you described "it sounds like the ghost of a ballroom album haunting us" because there is a song called The Haunted Ballroom used in O1 (and The Haunted Ballroom is by The Caretaker from an album he made in 1999 called Selected Memories From The Haunted Ballroom) And there is A6 and F7 in O1, very, very slowed

[@jamiestewartslover]

Very interesting. I didn't notice any of these I can't lie

[@tails183]

Temporary Bliss State also slowly fades away as it plays throughout, so there's that.

[@paintball_2]

@@tails183 it only starts fading away in the second half, otherwise your right. that reverb + muffle effect is so sad yet calming at the same time

[@Niiiko895]

@@jamiestewartslover also Things That Are Beautiful And Transient ends up appearing a lot in the Post Awareness stages in this album other than O1, it’s first appearance is actually in H1, it’s second appearance is in the form of Section D from H1 in K1, it’s third appearance in M1 is during Section B, and it’s final appearance is in as previously mentioned, O1. This means that this memory has some value to the patient to last all the way up to stage 6

[@MelodiesFromTheStars]

Also libet delay is in G1 lol

[@Thestuffdoer]

12:04 the slow realization of the end… The worst part is it doesn’t sound like they want to go It refuses And finally acceptance… and then A bliss beyond this world

[@Molten546]

the ending imo does not represent terminal lucidity, the section before that (the organ segment) does. the ending i feel is a funeral for the caretaker

[@jamiestewartslover]

That's an amazing take on it, though I disagree, but in the end the community isn't gonna agree on anything lmao. Like I said, absolutely amazing take on it, I just personally disagree

[@tzcaptor108]

I have a kinda personal experience with terminal lucidity. It happens with a whole range of illnesses. I had a friend who died of cancer and right before she died she woke in a sense and was aware enough to wish her oldest son a happy birthday

[@SonicRestoredReboot]

To think that (hypothetically) the Alzheimer's guy built all of this life, the kids, his wife, his childhood, his teenage years, only for it to be destroyed. Nothing lasts forever, so enjoy it while you can.

[@bensfractals43]

the deep bass section around 1 minute into K1 made me cry it sounds like the memories are melting into eachother and becoming an unrecognisable horror

[@bensfractals43]

oh and also near the end of O1 O1 is basically a more broken up and distant variant of K1 as many layers from K1(specifically section 2) come back in distant isolated sections. The end made me shed a tear because the weird voice like section returns all empty and such like it's wondering a landscape full of destroyed buildings

[@professorx9932]

The hell sirens segment actually does not make me scared or terrified. I feel happy listening to it for some reason, or maybe curious. It is kind of weird, but it is also because I love thinking about what it represents.

[@lightbreathermusic]

it honestly just feels like a hard beat drop for me, it just sounds to cool for me to be scared. the rest of stage 4 is too ominous for me tho lmao

[@nachoguy5]

It's the way it evokes the sheer unmitigated terror of realizing you've become a prisoner in your own body for me

[@beloveddoubt]

@@lightbreathermusictrue. as someone who loves movie scores, one of my favs is remains from all quiet on the western front. kinda reminds me of that

[@milliemino8424]

It’s so fascinating seeing your interpretations! We’re all listening to the same thing, about the same topic, yet we diverge on exactly *how* Kirby makes that topic apparent. We just know that he does.

[@NEEEERD69]

One of the most heartbreaking, but also strangely comforting moments in this would probably have to be the moments after the last segment of 'Place In the World Fades Away', the last minute of pure silence. No static, no music, no noise whatsoever, just... nothing. The person is gone, and they are free from the torment finally. It gives me chills every time... (Edit: just a second or two after I posted this, the segment popped up. I'm glad it was talked about) May the ballroom remain eternal

[@mrtoast244]

This is the most soul crushing album I've ever listened to, though I personally didn't cry until the end, but yeah. It's definitely something special. I remember listening to this whole album in one sitting and getting destroyed emotionally lol, idk how to explain it. Since it's such a long album, while I was listening, my imagination wandered a lot and basically invented a whole alternate universe life for myself in the 30's. Finding love, working on a farm, going to war, settling down, buying the farm, having kids, getting old... The final track felt like I was saying goodbye to that whole reality I had constructed I feel like my experience was a bit different to what other people have experienced... but who knows, maybe that was the intention of the album, being a slow descent over years and years from youth to death.

[@sunnyquinn3888]

8:40 Does anybody see this picture as anything other than a fancy person from like the French Renaissance or something holding a cane and going downstairs?

[@Dipply]

Essentially. Human brains are usually really good at picking up on patterns and pictures, so the artist of all these did a fantastic job of subverting that.

[@DrClock-il8ij]

Yeah while dancing it looks like. Something you'd see in a silent film

[@gamertylers9322]

@@Dipplyikr i saw stage 4 and i knew who it was, stage 5 ehhh i sorta saw it

[@jackpijjin4088]

I was not anticipating a Thom Yorke jumpscare. XD

[@bethanyboarder7751]

I can see how all of this would make you cry. I am a very stoic person and I like knowing people's experiences of *actually* crying when something sad happens. Then I can at least know what it's like. Thank you for your sweet video (:

[@mustartd4819]

For me it was the "Way ahead feels lonely segment" in g1 at about 5:10 on the left side, (only plays in the left ear is what i mean) and then as it fades out horribly (like 5:45~) it just kills me.

[@jabbathegoole]

My grandpa was going through this before he passed a year and a half ago so honestly this whole project brings me to tears because of seeing him at different stages which no one could explain in words those moments of clarity are treasured moments and its not quick process at least in my experience he would talk to me like someone at a bar only speaking in spanish thankfully i could understand him but then would look at me and call me by my dad's childhood nickname its heart breaking when you experience someone elses demise in to nothing i couldnt go to his funeral i didnt have the money all i have is pictures the only person who stood strong in all of them was my abuelita i dont know how she did it and still does it i cant imagine

[@didjoww]

E7 is just like a good old childhood memory, but its decaying, just like those scenes from the movies where theres someone running from the ground that is broken and falling into the void

[@lubomirkubasdQw4w9WgXcQ]

03:17 it feels familiar because it is the same song that E1, Back there Benjamin uses

[@lubomirkubasdQw4w9WgXcQ]

and E4 as well

[@franksmith8445]

​@@lubomirkubasdQw4w9WgXcQAnd F7, and by extension Libet's Delay.

[@crimsonsakura2184]

I will try to write my interpritations too. A5 - Sounds like sitting in an old home at a winter night. Cozy, but slightly scary to some extent. A6 - Sounds like something charming, a holiday or a rare event probably. B2 - Feels pretty joyful, like being concentrated on one exact thing and admiring it's beauty. (the first example i can give is a cat) B6 - Sounds like a big opera which can also mean the fact that the patient knows that he's old and he tries to live his last years of life as good as he can, and visiting an opera is a part of it. C1 - I can't add anything from myself here, it speaks for itself. C5 - Sounds depressed as it should be, makes me think of the patient looking at flowers or listening to music but not seeing as much good in it as he would earlier because of the problem he's worried about. E7 - For me it sounds like a coping mechanism, because the melody is very repetative, which feels like the patient is just focusing his attention on one exact thing to feel happy and forget about everything else for a while. F7 - Feels like it's a weird dream that consists of many parts that aren't tied to eachother logically. F8 - Again, i can't add anything. G1 - For me, it sounds like city noise or ambient. The patient doesn't seems to enjoy "the music" because he forgets what it is, so he's left with just the world around him. g1 heartaches - It feels like the patient sees something that was making him happy earlier and it should make him now, but he doesn't quite understands how he should react. h1 struggle - For me it sounds like the patient tried to listen to an opera or maybe just got into a place where a lot of people talk and it all seems just like random noise to him. h1 hell sirens - it's probably a ptsd because the patient should be old in order to get dementia which means that he probably was in a war if he is old. l1 temp. bliss state - Feels like patient is coping after the ptsd, looking at the world around him like a child, blissfully and without focusing on anything. transition from j1 to k1 - For me it sounds like a mix of tearing paper (patient tries to calm himself, maybe), amplified "city noise" from stage 4 and the voice of the patient himself k1 clarity moment - Feels like for a while, patient remembered who he actually is and was enjoying these moments the best he could, spending them or at least thinking about the ones whom he loves. n1 final memory - Sounds like the patient tried to remember something or at least anything, but at each attempt he was only diving deeper into distantiation from the world around him. o1 - I actually love stage 6, or at least first three of it's chapters. For me, it sounds like being near an endless sea at night, in a strange world that feels like afterlife. r1 place in the world fades away - It sounds like the patient is feeling weird warmth or joy surrounding him, and then the sudden "sound" is him turning off like a lightbulb.

[@veganmeatball6780]

9:01 I haven’t watched the whole album but, just from knowing what it is, this made me cry. Its the only time i ever have throughout this whole fandom

[@Niko_do]

Much of stage 3 made me cry. The feeling of serenity with the confusion and sadness is what made me cry a lot, reaching times when I had to stop listening for a while to recover my air. And in H1 - hell sirens, I really felt horrible when I heard that. The despair inside my heart mixed with melancholy is not written in words. And in "Was it All a Dream?" I felt so horrible. I interpret this as the patient trying to convince himself that this was all a horrible dream, this being a consequence of him (or her) forgetting almost everything.

[@m.delacerna7490]

Throughout the whole 6 hours of me listening, reading the comments helped me regain whatever emotions I had on bay as I was feeling the music. Reading those comments helped me remember that I wasn't alone, that my feelings were also being felt by other people, so moments that I would've cried didn't happen because I was being comforted by the commentors in the video. Then came Stage 6's final 5 minutes. I had known it was the most heart wrenching part of the whole album so I didn't run to the comments for the last 5 minutes, but when I heard it after 6 stages of the whole album, it finally made me cry. And I cried so hard Suddenly I picture the dementia patient finally getting bliss after all that suffering, hearing of what I think to be angels guiding them to the afterlife after so much pain and agony of losing themselves. I sat in my bed, watching the video, staying still as I processed EVERYTHING. After listening, I was so disturbed that I couldn't sleep for a week. I had to listen to soothing sounds like lo-fi and familiar songs to drown out the static and hopelessness the album gave to me. Listening to this whole album on two sittings (first sitting I listened to stage 1-3 and the second sitting is 4-6) has been an experience I will never forget. 10/10

[@charlesvattimo4674]

Stage 4 has always been the scariest to me, not just from the titular sirens, but from all the horrible struggles of the entire first half and to a lesser extent the final quarter. The struggling is so brutal, and my heart stopped everytime the music did to leave me with a whole second of dead silence before the agony of struggling returned. The intense static sounds akin to sonar pings scared me until they became the new normal. Everything about the post awareness stages is trying to find peace in the madness, and cherishing every moment of blissful clarity.

[@Nocturne232]

the hell sirens are something that will always keep me up at night. like an unforeseen threat that looms. a creature unseen but manifests as a feeling of crushing existential horror. nothing can come close to the fear i felt after i heard the hell sirens.

[@starfIightYT]

800th like! Amazing descriptions what this album beholds.

[@themonomineestation5815]

Fun fact: A6 actually has a relatively new sample compared to the others in Stage 1, coming from 1946.

[@StrikerSans]

I'd like to share my experiences here as well: Stage 1 was music i genuenly enjoyed listening to, and I even wanted to pick the second track up on piano because it felt very pleasent and nostalgic to listen to. Stage 2 was my personal favourite, with many tracks I just liked from the music and the melancholy atmosphere. Misplaced in time was a track that I loved so much, that I played it in a school concert. Interestingly enough, the only track that made me cry, was the ending of stage two "The way ahead feels lonely". I don't know what it is but the ending of that track is so sad and then after mere seconds of silence comes the jump into back there benjamin, shit got real here. It was also the last track i learned on piano of the entire album. Also memorable moments from here for me were back there benjamin itself, which is a track I like by now and also drifting time misplaced, being the only sample i could easily recognize next to heartaches on my first listen. Stage 4 was a bit confusing at first, but not that bad. I hated listening to the temporary bliss segment because of how monotonous it was, but the ending track of stage 4 was very good, especially the ambience in the last 8ish minutes (people are sleeping on this one honestly). Stage 5 was not very pleasent to listen to on my first listen, but listening a second time with headphones was very cool. Clarity 2 was some music i could recognize but i wasn't sure where I heard it before. Not much else here other than me recognizing the hell sirens again. The last two tracks of stage 5 were a pain to sit through, but i respect it because this was clearly the intention of musical direction, to show how long the patient had to suffer in this phase while slowly losing it all. Stage 6 is my favourite next to stage 2, I like every track here for how it is produced and what feelings it wants to convey. While I think that "and bliss everywhere bliss" would have been a better lucidity than the one in the final release, I still loved how it was done and I just had goosebumps listening to it. 10/10 would listen to this again any day, also good stuff to learn on piano. I love this musical direction.

[@NTWatcher]

I didn't cry at any moment during this video but the "terminal lucidity/death" part truly f*cking scared me. It starts with a dream like music and cuts to pure static... giving a true feeling of death or maybe being unconscious, and after that when it cuts off to some sort of banging sounds, i imagined "him" waking up and being carried on a hospital bed while running through the hallways, although already knowing he would die.

[@mediocredude6839]

The fear of seeing everyone you know and love become unrecognizable is terrifying. You start to wonder about everything, and yet you thought you knew but are unable to remember the good times.

[@mrfloaty7253]

The silence in between some of the tracks quiet dusk coming early and heartaches in stage 4 made me shed a tear (however the heartaches one just made me distressed and even more sad it kept playing in between the static) but c'est fini and the minute of silence really made me cry

[@willyb7353]

You cry a lot.. I'll be honest, I cried once or twice because some of the moments reminded me of my grandma who died of stroke complications.. The representation of a broken mind, Leyland Kirby did a fantastic job.

[@Vintage_Ambience]

Honestly, stage 1 broke me “things that are beautiful and transient” broke me. I still listen to these albums and i barely cry, just from the inside of my mind, but things that are beautiful and transient and childishly fresh eyes and drifting time is misplaced is what broke me. Same time, i wish 1930’s music would NEVER die out

[@maxtheprotogen4328]

The second part of Surrendering to Despair somehow reminded me of a song I heard in church when I was around 5 or 6. I remember it clear as day. It shook me to my core. So many people I went to church with actually have Alzheimer's now, or they've long since passed. The people I grew up and saw smiling and waving at me when I walked down the aisle on Sunday mornings went through their own internal hells but never came back. It hurts so much.

[@dogf421]

for some reason the first part of stage six gives me this vision of a massive blade being scraped over the bottom of the ocean, this grinding being the only disruption of a perfectly flat and empty abyss, representing the patients attempt to dig up any distinguishable memory from the sand their brain has been reduced to

[@pres_4_ever]

Dude, Things are Beautiful and transient is so sad for no reason, it songs like longing for something so close but so far and coming to realize you won’t get to it

[@seonghwan7740]

Here is my interpretation of the last song of the album. This is it. Your done. Your brain is close to no longer functioning, and you cant move or talk. This is the final moments of your life. Your family members mourn and cry seeing as your fate is sealed. The only option you have left is to wait and sit as you slowly die. And then, you die.

[@Someone-dy5ui]

Ok, what the fuck? Folks, I think that I might have a weard mental condition or something. I just can't feel emptiness or something higher, like at all. Patriotic and religious songs just sound normal happy and sad, lovecraftian horror is just a cool worldbuilding concept, that supposed moment of realization that death is inevitable is just my curious mind trying to imagine that from the first person perspective for like half an hour, etc. And now this. Like, the static didn't feel like fog in memories, it just felt annoying. Even with knowledge of what all that represents, I just kinda feel a normal sorrow, preety much the same one as when someone gets their bicycle broken (sorry if that somehow hurt your feelings, that was not the intention). And when I tried to put myself in their shoes, knowing that I might actually get the alzheimers desease in the future, I was just like "well, this is very inconvenient". Does anyone know if it's like... okay? Like, on one hand I heard that depression and existential dread REALLY suck, but on another hand I also heard that all feelings suppose to be valid and respected and all that. Do I have an awesome natural gift, or an I way too grounded to be healthy? Is it even something special in the first place? Like, maybe I'm just a normal human being that just misses or doesn't gets something.

[@marcotellez603]

I'm the same way. I've tried in the past to watch the saddest media I could and I just couldn't feel anything other than "damn that sucks". Its concerning at times honestly because it makes me question my humanity. Idk what it is but it lowkey makes me paranoid

[@Dipply]

@@marcotellez603 for both of ya here- (psych major and just general fuck around and find outist-) you’re both TOTALLY okay! Some people just have higher sensitivity and empathy levels! When I was on (insert OCD medication here) for a year, I found myself a lot less emotional and reactive to things, but more irritated by stuff. If it’s of concern, there’s medication and therapy, but if it’s not affecting you or your relationships, it’s nothing to worry about :) (it’s pretty interesting though how powerful emotions can be/aren’t between different people, and also even between sexes, ages, and ethnicities)

[@SpiderMan-xw8wh]

I felt like that too at one time. Although, after much fiddling with my own persona and emotions, I kinda grew to "accept" emotions. It's not if I didn't want them or something. But a feeling that I didn't know how to process them. I wish I could help more, but the way in which I changed was to change my view process. I feel much more sadness towards the bad feelings of people around me than myself. I also really dislike actions in which, the outcomes that affect me personally, wasn't made by me, but by others. I would totally understand my own short comings, but, in this situation, the mistake wasn't from me, but people around me. That is just a few examples. Try finding something that really unnerves you, and make comparisons with this feeling, towards things in your life. I'm not quite sure why you would like to receive doses of sadness freely like that, but you are open to try.

[@Dipply]

@@SpiderMan-xw8wh it’s the feeling of being left out or missing out on something you think you SHOULD have. Like “oh, other people are distressed by this but I’m not, is something wrong with me?” But to a degree it’s normal. My partner is very stoic and has only cried once in the past couple years, while I tear up at movies that aren’t even particularly made to make you cry. It also can change as you age or take medication. (Read something interesting from both someone who transitioned from female to male, saying they just didn’t feel the need to cry or be as upset as much, and someone who transitioned from male to female saying they felt more expressive and animated with their feelings. Hormones can be your best friend or you worst enemy) I used to hate how overly emotional I was, but I grew to like it (usually) and understand what I was feeling. Also maybe I wouldn’t go straight or “unnerves you” because that can lead to looking into real life disturbing things (which, while morbid curiosity is okay, there’s a deep dark hole on the internet that can get pretty bad). Maybe just depressing media or saddening stories for this idea 🤔 Not to mention, people can feel differently between different stories. I cry over kids movies for seemingly no reason sometimes, but my partner has shown me what a lot of people will call “the saddest movies”, and I didn’t even shed a tear, just felt “well that sucks” How deeply or non-deeply you feel you emotions is something you can work on if you want, or learn to understand. Whichever works best for you. If you like being emotional, great! It’s nice to feel so passionately towards things! Don’t feel too strongly? Good too! If you know you still care about things and recognize what does kinda feel bad or sucks you’re still just as human- your brain just prioritizes a bit differently. Anyways y’all made me go on a psych tangent I’m absolving all blame from myself that I did this

[@SpiderMan-xw8wh]

@@Dipply that is kinda what I meant with unnerving, sorry if the utilization wasn't correct, I thought the context in which the phrase was put was already enough. Although, I do feel it is correct what you're saying from different people having different priorities, I thought of my examples and rationality of it as a method to visualize a happening with the view lens to help you feel something from it. You might not initially feel something, but as it sterns inside your little grey matter, that something might just click and unveil a truth in which you cannot bear, leading to sadness. Taking for reference the example of the original commenter, it would, for sure, suck to have dementia. but what would affect me more, is the fact that this cannot be changed, and that, everything I have worked towards would, functionally, mean nothing to me. at the end, the weight, the memories, the emotions, all of it, would be gone, leaving nothing but a dark void behind.

[@b0ltun0]

hell sirens still manages to give me goosebumps

[@1dylan596]

Never seen anyone who cried since stage 1, i thought people only cried during the clarities and the terminal lucidity part, also the piano segments in stage 5 are from the 2nd part of the layton and johnstone piano medley

[@Imboredwithmylife]

After 4 years of continuously observing this album, I've never cried while listening to it, i dont know if it's because im a psycho, but i genuinely enjoy listening to it, even the chaotic stage 5 parts, i like listening to it.

[@mylvie]

I have listened to this whole thing a few dozen times now and nothing from this album can break me, but if you want to cry even harder, listen to something like vCJD

[@vibrantgleam]

k1 made me cry when I first heard it, when it started ending I was like "no god why."

[@MarArenaa]

My grandfather suffers from dementia, he is fine...for now...I spent half the album crying...I love you so much, Grandpa, I will never forget you❤❤❤

[@VilactDoesntSayShitYourselfNow]

what stage? please say atleast 2.

[@MarArenaa]

​@@VilactDoesntSayShitYourselfNow stage three...I cried half stages if the album...:(

[@VilactDoesntSayShitYourselfNow]

@@MarArenaa oh dear..

[@Stikiduk]

I’ll be honest I only cried during the last 6 minuets when I listened to stages 5 and 6 with a friend of mine. We both had wildly different experiences, and it wasn’t even my first time listening to it. Something about that one time just- got to me for some reason.

[@fritz250757]

I probably cried the most in the second stage honestly

[@coolawesomeepicman4513]

I think this has been said before, but the one part that hurt was the short segment in stage 4 "Hell Sirens" because it could literally be anything, I tend to go into a more Lovecraftian approach to things like this, bearing the brunt of the unknown in a way that possibly we don't understand, and the horns just feel less like they're striking your ears, and more like trying to hurt you, its vicious and terrifying, and like a fly buzzing in your ear, its gone immediately. It feels reminiscent to a charge into battle, or to put it into better terms, like Saving Private Ryan's Normandy beach sequence, where you get that one look back on the bad, meanwhile you push on saving that moment forever, while those in the past slowly fade away behind you. It also works so well in that first stage of musical confusion where again, like you say, it comes out of thin air, roars in your ear, and is gone, like it was never there in the first place.

[@arielluva]

the transition from stage 3 to 4 also made me sad for a similar reason, i always thought the pulsing at the end of the final track of stage 3 sounded like being about to fall asleep, trying to stay awake, but the world continues to fade, then you get a very rude awakening into stage 4. the beginning of stage 4 has this kinda. bloop? noise that reminds me of putting a camera underwater, and being underwater is very fitting for post-awareness since you cant see as well, you cant hear as well, you cant move as well, etc. another part of stage 3 that got me was the track that just sounds like a segment on the piano being repeated over and over. (edit: this is about E3) it even sounds like you can hear a metronome in the background, like someone is trying to play a song they used to know but just cant get past a certain part no matter how hard they try. also it was only on my second listen that i started to notice heartaches playing in the post-awareness stages (and the other songs for that matter too, since i listened to stages 1-3 over and over before moving on) and being able to recognize the songs made it hurt so much more to hear them all torn up and falling apart. i remember listening to stage 5 again and hearing heartaches and feeling like it was sand slipping through my fingers with how quickly it was gone. anyways. this isnt all of my thoughts on eateot but man seeing videos about this album always reawaken that obsession i had with it lol

[@0ddestMouse]

all the songs are bangers though frfr🥶‼️🔥🔥🔥

[@Elcomedordepan]

this album is true art,

[@audrey7003]

f4 (i think it's burning despair does ache?), temporary bliss state, and pretty much the entirety of stages 5 and 6 devastate me

[@ThomasBoyce5000]

I don't think Ive ever felt a more depressing feeling of defeat and hopelessness than I did during the entirety of "long decline is over".

[@yourtypicalcupoftea]

the reason why f7 sounds familiar is probably because you listened to e1 and e4

[@jamiestewartslover]

Didn't think of that actually

[@KeyUploads]

An, an empty...beyond...

[@Dipply]

My dear friend never listen to the version WITH voices because that was Truly horrifying Didn’t sleep

[@jamiestewartslover]

I actually have, stage 5 really does get to me

[@jackwhite8020]

the version with voices?

[@jamiestewartslover]

@@jackwhite8020 fan project, highly recommend

[@SoulTheSoul]

damn. that clarity moment at k1 always get me.

[@MrAdvertisement]

Back There Benjamin(Stage 3) is horrifying to me- The transition between Stage 2 end to Stage 3 beginning is going from slightly calming to a nightmare is unnerving, I can hardly put it into words.

[@_PKMN_Lyra_but_with_raid_]

To be honest I cried during A2 because the day I was listening to it my close family friend passed away

[@lubomirkubasdQw4w9WgXcQ]

00:12:12 this is where i feel angry, i do not feel much else, just anger at the desease.

[@Artbred-vk4st]

I might have commented this already (idk i forgot) but i intrepret the hell sirens as the caretaker just having a breaking point where they get super frustated from not remembering, the siren sound itself is like the brain raging at itself, and then it just goes back to garbled noises because the caretaker forgot he was angry in the first place

[@MendosaMax]

i only cried 2 times... clarity an plac in the world fades away

[@Dontgotomyabtpage]

to me, only the first 3 stages made me tear up, and stage 5's first moment of clarity is so sad and disturbing, it almost made me cry. stage 6, although i already knew the ending prior to watching eateot, oddly disturbed me too. stage 6 sounds like hell.

[@professorx9932]

I actually like this video because it is like an eateot review that goes over less popular tracks

[@spindriftizded2033]

This Video made me feel like i forgot something . Hope I didnt forget anything

[@devin2233]

7:36 adding on to this, this could also be an interpretation of the Caretaker being told by someone else they have dementia. The slow buildup is the Caretaker being so far into the disease, it takes over a minute for them to comprehend what they were told. The sirens fading back into static could be the Caretaker immediately forgetting the information and regressing back into the confusion.

[@memberiteoff]

My great grandmother has dementia. Ive never met her once in my life. Shes over 100 years old, and from what ive heard from family is that shes not herself anymore. Shes gotten aggressive, she cant remember who anyone is, and she spends her day doing knitting movement cycles with a blank stare into nowhere, even though she isnt actually knitting. Its a terrifying disease. I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy.

[@Gorescripter]

A1 i teared in joy A4 i loved the song The whole D section in stage 2 was amazing Stage 3 E1 i teared in joy because i fell in love with the melody i am the goodnight my beautiful #1 fan dont play shit with me Stage 3 basically the whole thing including libet delay and other heartache varients were composed so well and not to mentio the enture stage. Moments where i teared up was in j1 section B D3. Becauae you can hear D3 in the distant and its like the music was just showing its self one last time before it faded away K1 was it a dream was a insane moment again i teared up because of the melody and how sad it was M1 section C was cool because you can hear just pure chaos of stage 4 rotting away K1 and L1 grand fantasia segments were cool because its composed quite beautifully in a way of abscratical music including B4 piano being heard sounding like a seaker in a way After M1 section C you can hear a trumpet which the sample is called theres too many eyes. Then stage 6 ending ye.

[@etherealhatred]

I always thought the hell sirens being a representation of Sundown Syndrome is more accurate since sundowning is typically known where someone gets lucidity but not the recollection of the memories per se, but instead, the understanding that you're losing yourself and how much you have deteriorated, which oftenly drives the person suffering it crazy due the imense amount of heartbreaking info they just got, like getting consciousness for the first time but with a brutal truth you where not prepared to handle

[@gabethegreat7678]

I cried for the whole album without stopping to take a break😎

[@TheOfficialDBot]

That is alotta crying

[@SniperFallen06]

I only cried at "Was it a dream?" cause the song felt heavy

[@creepermangaming7912]

at 8:39, right when the text pops up, it sounds like the song is begging: "please."

[@unknownuser-ys9pi]

The sad thing about I1 is that it can be interpreted as the Caretaker only semi coherently remembering only one memory, that being E7 from Stage 3.

[@rainydaze4409]

God the hell sirens are so fucking scary, like viscerally horrifying to listen to It's like they've lost everything but that deep, body-wrenching fear they once felt, and it bubbles up one final time unrestrained by any other memories, before it leaves them too I think I cried on and off from stage 3 onwards 😭 so you're not alone

[@KougarManx468]

Nice points , l can get why you might think and behave like that . The tracks that gave me a form of reaction were : A4 ; C1 ; C2 ; E1 ; E2 ; E6; E7 ;E8 ; F2 ; F4 ; G1 begining ; H1 Hell Sirens ; I1 ; K1 Bliss State ; K1 second Bliss State ; N1's begining ; O1's begining ; R1's ending .

[@user-pm3mp9kw7m]

This is so unnerving

[@LoquatJuice_]

The Stage 4 cover looks the best.

[@jonhleylandkirby8081]

stage 5-6 is a vegetative state, but in moments it shows something like a 3 seconds clarity (i can rememeber a piano sound in Q1-R1)

[@lotus4543]

thom yorke jumpscare

[@AidilZuhair-wb3tl]

4:07 there's a zero warning because the caretaker separate the stage I mean the caretaker doesn't make the album from stage one to stage 6 straightly they just wait for a few months and then another stage will come

[@Thatoneguy-pg3d]

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO ADD THE LAST PART, IM CRYING

[@5UBJ3CT3GG]

Please dad, please come back.

[@geotheofficial5246]

I cried because the sun got in my eye

[@ac-illustrates]

saw a theory that the repeated crackles you hear later on is supposed to be the plaque buildup in the brain caused by dementia crackling and that haunted me

[@FriedEgg69]

Damn i love H1 Section A it reminds me of my PSTD moments 😏😊

[@progect3548]

F7 shares a sample with E1