every time Colm from derry girls speaks

I wish the quality was a bit better but here we are.

[@gyorkshire257]

"I can't be sure now, but maybe if you took off the balaclavas." Is one of the best lines in comedy history.

[@irenemax3574]

Years ago, some local boys ran around their hometown wearing balaclavas acting like tough guerrillas. Everyone recognised them from their clothes and their gait 😅

[@kreelesley]

i had to rewatch the series a couple of times before i caught that joke 😭😭

[@kpaxian6044]

I burst out laughing.

[@gracek7081]

Gold line

[@814912]

The funny thing is that a lot of Colm's stories are actually quite interesting if you really listen to them

[@thomasstone3480]

his family is so incredibly, openly rude to him too lmao

[@RheRheSmily]

Ya. Ots his tone of voice and how slow he tells the story

[@sarahp007]

Yeah, but the point is it doesn’t matter how much the story is interesting, Colm isn’t. So so funny 😂

[@richardjames9091]

First time I’ve seen this and he’s hilarious

[@GTA5Player1]

Just goes to show, delivery is everything!

[@billyjackoff]

I actually find Colm to be oddly comforting.

[@Eleanorbpearson]

Honestly same

[@johncahalane7327]

It is when you get into Colm's mind there is no escape it's an incurable mantra that widens as you Drift into boredom, soon all your worries you thought you had are forgotten by the boring bastard droning on,it's suttle you Drift into another story totally different but hypnotic and your defenseless, this is the ultimate nightmare if your CIA or KGB ,impenetrable fog ,your own mind finds your happy place. It's brilliant writing by Kevin Mc Leer he's been doing this 50 years

[@kimm.8800]

He is calming when you are feeling anxious.

[@timonmob9588]

Yes. I listen to it when I need calming

[@mencken8]

Ye say that now, but I recall a man over to Ballynahinch, could comfort a squad of British soldiers opening a stray suitcase.

[@hoilst265]

"JFK had a conversation with Colm?!? That poor fella didn't have much luck."

[@petitmeowmeow]

"the one that knocked the aul slavery on the head" "Lincoln" "the very boy"

[@petermgruhn]

Did no such thing.

[@Luke_05]

@@petermgruhn ?

[@rgw4393]

He should narrate an audiobook of Irish mythology

[@derekpink]

He’d turn one story into 20. And it’d be hilarious.

[@anthonyscott4270]

​@@derekpinkI have read a book about Irish mythology, or was it a magazine......no it was a book. It was a very good read, well parts of it was. It reminded me of when I was a lad and I always would spend dinner time in the school library. Although it wasn't just the school Library. Sometimes I would go to the library in the the street.😉

[@jamesharper8080]

@@derekpink Yeah it could be like π Pi or something, a number that never stop ending.

[@Fogblitz]

⁠​⁠@@anthonyscott4270do you perhaps remember the name of the book?

[@anthonyscott4270]

@@Fogblitz Sorry Fogblitz. There was no book, it was a skit about uncle Colm in Derry girls. Although there probably books about Irish mythology in some Libraries.

[@jazzguitar3441]

"he says to me says he" already took me out 😂

[@ronan8834]

"John over there was just saying you know John lovely fella" my granda is exactly like him 😂😂

[@mathildejensen3285]

" I won't bore you with the details" - Colm boring everybody to death with the details 😂😂😂

[@chesterwilberforce9832]

Everybody's either ignoring him or falling asleep. Meanwhile, Orla is riveted to his every word.

[@tishellelara4280]

I love that part 😂

[@mctwisp7175]

So is Sarah, her mom 😂

[@johannajohansson4404]

So I says to myself, says I, Johanna, this actor is absolute gold. His role is fantastic.

[@jamesharper8080]

Sometimes you find that actors in comedy, are some of the best actors in the world.

[@QueSara1111]

I have started incorporating that line into my everyday vocabulary ❤

[@Wingless117]

Probably my favorite television character ever written.

[@dougalmaguire2357]

Then you should watch his first appearance in father ted father jack gets stuck in a room with him

[@johannajohansson4404]

@@dougalmaguire2357 which episode is that?

[@Chameleon-wq4ul]

@@dougalmaguire2357 It is the same actor?

[@tylernolan9074]

​@@Chameleon-wq4ulno father Teds actor Dermot Morgan died

[@heatherrogers548]

Mine too!

[@Mizri1]

"....jesus wept" has me howling every single time. Mum Mary is the best.

[@laurenzpeacock3234]

"He's looking for the keys to the van, all ranting and raving and getting himself all worked up, threating to set fire to me good chaiselonge... and all sorts." This is the funniest sentence ever. I'm in tears, this line gets me everytime..

[@StargazerNorth1]

It implies the existence of a second-best chaise lounge, which is just hilarious in this context.

[@rachels.8051]

I had a chemistry teacher who spoke in monotone like Colm. One day in the middle of a lecture he recited the Tigger song. I was crying laughing and no one else heard him do it.

[@appendix_B]

as in "the wonderful thing about Tiggers?" I want o hear Colm recite the entire thing

[@DREAPADOIR]

If you don’t have a Colm in your extended family…you probably ARE the family’s Colm…

[@Analog-to-digital-cotinual]

I have one sure as shite, the only difference being that he doesn't bore me to death with the stories (somehow) 😅

[@Theodore453]

My family is mostly Colms and I suspect I am in fact one of them

[@Vampirekittiz]

i already know i am tbh

[@Victoria-sl7ky]

I absolutely lost it and about died laughing when the girls called in colms to talk to liam and get them out of trouble lmao absolute gold. My mom and i loved this series and will definitely be watching it again.

[@robardin]

“…what was it we asked him again?” “I don’t know” 😂😂😂

[@tjc89]

That slightly drunk and even pretty clever but harmless chatty member of the family who drives you mad but when they die you miss them terribly

[@noahacha459]

"For the Love of God Sarah no diversions please" 😂😅 - Gerry

[@johann.desouza]

If he really spoke for only 12 mins in total, that's incredible because that just says what an amazing actor he is because he made it seem like hours 😂!! Also, his stories are interesting.

[@RazorMouth]

Excellent point 😂

[@lost_boy]

I'd be happy to adopt Colm as my uncle, I find his stories so soothing and interesting too.

[@solid311975]

There’s one in every family 😂. The sad thing about it is that as I get older I think it’s me 😂😂😂

[@Eleanorbpearson]

😂😂

[@philh8288]

Its happening to me already, everytime i'm asked a question, in the pub, apparently i answer it with a story, which usually starts with: "did i ever tell you the time"?... everyone shouts YESSSSS! A couple of years ago they, used to call me colm, i never knew what they meant, as i'd never seen DGs; So when i saw it for the first time, i realised. Oh shit I'm going on now 😂

[@Highlandword9]

​@@philh8288😂

[@QueSara1111]

As someone with ADHD, I believe this is me too 😮

[@RelwarctheMighty]

Love that Spanish Armada story he tells about the crazy Mother. Wonder how aware Colm is about his boringness?

[@kamcg1049]

The president they named all the vacuum cleaners after……

[@woofawoof7616]

I wish he would narrate these stories and put them online. It sounds so soothing to sleep to.

[@curioushoodie]

There is a podcast called Sleep With Me where this guy has a really boring voice and just rambles on, and it gets progressively more boring. I would prefer Colm still, but it may be what may be of interest for you.

[@missopowers]

@@curioushoodie Have you heard Joe Pera Talks You To Sleep? He's an American version of Uncle Colm.

[@victorjustice8453]

I actually find it cute how his brother often always actively engage in his long talks. Its so cute😂

[@MCKevin289]

I had a professor in college like Colm. I loved him.

[@kenjiesensei]

Colm's an energy vampire.

[@TrevorEnrightMusic]

"You don't have the breadstrick Jerry"...

[@joshuat6124]

This man... is actually quite funny.

[@Lowros]

We all love Colm - it makes me laugh so much. Reminds me of my grandparents and their friends talking when I was young. Crying with laughter.

[@cwbrooks5329]

That story about Diego and the Spanish Armada -- hahahahaha. I adore Colm.

[@jamesharper8080]

Yeah, I know. His dry delivery suits a story that is so ridiculous.

[@Beatmyguest001]

With all the spray tan 😭

[@NickJohnCoop]

Sister Michael looks so relieved when Colm gets to the end of his story and was actually amused bu it.

[@afterdefect]

Anytime wains! Anytime at all! his happiness is contagious

[@scottshanahan3827]

Orla hanging on his every word is comedy gold

[@vaportibaby]

STOP. LISTING. PRESIDENTS, COLM!!!! 🤣🤣🤣

[@kariimgaz]

I came here willingly and as sister Michael said: its actually quite funny. 😂

[@juliehaley4697]

I love the way Orla hangs on his every word! 😂😂

[@rogerokeeffe213]

I have a sneaking suspicion my family think he's me. With advancing age, I sometimes get lost in my own nested conversational footnotes. 😂

[@AnneLives81]

Colm's refusal to let anyone derail his stories is iconic.

[@marciawilwerding4984]

"What's happening?...Is this my wake?...Am I dead?...Am I in Hell?...That's actually quite funny." lol

[@scottselby4793]

He has the soul of a poet.

[@skyethewylder]

My family immigrated from Ireland about a thousand years ago and this trait is STRONG! One does not take a call from my mother without great thought and at least an hour of time at a minimum. There is NO ending or rushing her orations. She loves to tell every detail of her “bad” day. Never seen anyone so thrilled to have a cascading of events just going grocery shopping. 😂

[@robbieclark2263]

your analysis and assessment is genius! You truly are Irish, whether you want to be or not! My Mum's most used phrase "I'll never forget it!". 9 11, Hiroshima, Diana's death, her last trip to the chiropodist, war in Ukraine, when they put up the price of butter last year, Brexit......"I'll never forget it"

[@skyethewylder]

@@robbieclark2263 YESSSS!!!!! Or this one: "you remember her don't you" and goes on and on. Me: No, Mamaw, she died ten years before I was born!

[@skyethewylder]

I totally forgot this, my husband says when she gets started it is like a shark in a feeding frenzy with the eyes rolled back in their head. He says she gets started and people come and go, in and out of the room, my dad tells a story over her, and she never notices. He asked me, "for the love of God, WHO is her audience here? I can't keep up with them." He is a polite Dane and doesn't know who to give attention to in this situation.

[@ohthatdickens69]

​@@skyethewyldermy mother is one of those mums who not only thinks her children remember things they can't possibly remember, but also reminds us of the existence of people we can't possibly forget. She'll ask me "Richie came over. You know, Richie?" "My cousin? Yes, Mom. I know him." She loves to tell every detail of the the day I was born. The last time she told it, she turned to me and said "Do you remember that?" I was gobsmacked.

[@mggentry]

@@skyethewyldersometimes they’re just telling the story to the lord 😂

[@enthusedtosing9655]

I love how the "no day for a do" one just found a new victim /who actually appreciated it/.

[@TheShepTV]

If you ever get the chance to see Kevin McAleer play live grab the opportunity by the horns. Saw his “Guru” gig twice and each time I was sliding off my chair laughing. Wish to Christ he televised more of stuff

[@daraorourke5798]

He is bloody brilliant live !!

[@annereidy7981]

Kevin McAleer, one of Ireland's funnyist stand up comics of the 80's plus.

[@laurentweet9254]

"now he's somebody, now he's the fella that got tied to his own radiator." "thanks, sarah."

[@pullmfinger6149]

Genius!! A weapon of mass destruction.

[@curioushoodie]

Only weapon that can take down Liam Neeson!

[@rmlfilms123]

Kevin McAleer plays this character brilliantly. I love Tommy Tiernan in this show too. Actually they're all great so they are, says I to meself.

[@richardnolan3903]

kudos to whoever made this compilation. Colm is my favourite character in the show.

[@lizzywolcott98]

Yes! I was hoping someone had made a video like this. His voice is so oddly soothing I could just fall asleep to it.

[@dbertobis]

The late father of a friend of mine was exactly like Colm. He would start any story with “I remember back in 1955, or was it 1957?”….. and off he went for half hour of flat and very low voice until anybody would say “well sorry but I’m off…”

[@dod6031]

I love that Orla has the look of amazement every time she hears him talk.

[@SB-mm9zh]

How they kept a straight face while filming this is beyond me.

[@maf654321]

This sort of winding and wending storytelling is oddly very Gaelic, as in the Irish language (and Scottish Gaelic too). Ma thuigeann tú an teanga, listen to an old recording of an native speaker telling a traditional story and it has almost this exact intonation and odd amount of random details

[@Noblebird02]

Father stone from father Ted was a similar character. Perhaps it's a type that both writers have met irl

[@lennarthagen3638]

What u mean garlic

[@MandyMan24]

Perhaps that’s because the actor is Gaelic?

[@TheLastAngryMan01]

Mar a dúirt mé cheana…

[@maxpowerii7368]

I don’t see a problem with it myself…it paints a picture of the situation or environment in the story at least. What’s wrong with random details eh?

[@johnscullion7685]

I love him he is brilliant and so is that program I cant get enough of it 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

[@bmw-e30]

Kevin McAleer is a comedy genius. Daft hilarious stories delivered with a deadpan expression. A lot of work goes into it and he has that style of comedy all to himself.

[@allhallowseve9138]

I genuinely think he's is truly fantastic

[@sojacat3408]

I just love him so much😭

[@wharsmetoothpicson9465]

Colm is based on Kevin McAleer's actual stand up routine, he was really innovative for his time.

[@ClannCholmain]

100% Turn it on!

[@brianogrady9883]

😂🤣🤣@@ClannCholmain

[@siobhanparker6221]

Love Kevin/Colm. Legend. The level of detail though. Never gets stale.

[@silvermoss1776]

As hard as he is to take for those around him, I love that they respect/love him enough to hear out his stories (for a while a least)

[@MsTinkerbelle87]

Awwwe “anytime weeuns” 🥰

[@Beatmyguest001]

He was delighted to be warmly appreciated for once bless him LOL

[@scottshanahan3827]

"Hands on him like shovels." I never caught that line about Kennedy before. Brilliant

[@Chris-ed4ni]

Dont be fooled the tag says 12 mins but its actually over 4 hours long

[@adamread3540]

The guy who took our study classes in sixth form in my secondary school went to school himself with Kevin McAleer (Colm), and would tell stories to us for hours on end just like here, but maybe a bit more exciting; must have been somewhere in the water back then 😂

[@neilwritesstuff]

of course sarah and orla love him

[@abigailfurminger2537]

I want a man like Colm but like 25 years younger, I think he would be a delightful boyfriend.

[@maxpowerii7368]

God help you poor lass.

[@irelandaintreal2945]

coward, i’d take colm as he is

[@michaelharrison3602]

He'd drive you feckin mad😂

[@bertilliozephyrsgate6196]

It says something about the acting / writing of the show that someone who is supposed to be crushingly boring makes me laugh so hard every time he's on camera.

[@nickharvey7233]

Great stuff as always. I grew up just down the road from Ballynahinch. I was three years above these girls, in terms of the time setting. Fantastic series

[@Ianmundo]

My Grandpa had the same accent as Colm, I miss my Grandpa 🥺

[@agamemnonhatred]

Kevin McAleer, the 'deadist of deadpan deliveries. Superb😂.

[@boum62]

The acting is fantastic

[@anandicarroll-woolery5203]

What a character arc! Colm didn’t change, but we did ❤️

[@drnot442]

Eleanor Pearson, thank you for this gift to humanity and world peace😌.

[@raymondbruce7175]

Brilliant character actor.

[@Truffle_Pup]

"... or your man now whatchacallim, the beardy fella in the hat? The one that knocked the Irish slavery on the head?" - Golden line 😚👌

[@shaneg3978]

It's actually 'the auld (old) slavery' on the head.

[@RazorMouth]

Video feels like an hour long and its only 12 minutes 😂

[@isabellemyzer1807]

I wish I could live in this show

[@raymondbruce7175]

Love this character.

[@tonyamccuen6852]

Colm is the best thing about this show. I wish I could marry him. I just want to spend my whole life listening to him tell stories and go "the very boy".

[@samirakrodel]

Am I dead? Is this *my* wake?

[@elisaa9981]

Am I in hell?

[@shogun8159]

Can you imagine this guy on his wedding day?😂

[@johncahalane7327]

Not a day for a do now aye I says to myself now aye, oh God no no aye, sure I remember the fella with the bad piles ,aye was it a bad back now so he had now but nevermind still nota day fir at do now......please make him stop 🛑

[@92jwiener]

Twas a 12 hour affair. The "I do's" lasted 10 minutes. The vows, 50 minutes.

[@comradeniamh7771]

i just love that he’s the spit of seamus heaney

[@oliviah.5846]

Omg that “spoilt vote” bit gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME!

[@adamg8814]

I feel like this bloke should do podcasts

[@nickholland7402]

I find colm soothing

[@roseannallan4944]

Colm should have his own program he is funny

[@susandonaghy1971]

He is an Irish stand up comedian

[@zg1000dru1]

BRILLIANT ALTOGETHER!!

[@FabianFleitas1989]

Aunt Sarah and Orla being the only ones interested makes completely sense

[@WilliamMoore-p4g]

I love this character. He reminds me of a few of my Irish relatives at family reunions. They always went the long way around the barn. You wanted to split your head open against the concrete.

[@Skyebright1]

I think there was a question of if people would rather go on a date with Eamonn or spend an hour with Colm, and everyone chose Colm ;)

[@renaj9206]

The police station bit gets me every time

[@rowanirish]

Kevin McAleer. I remember him from his sketches on Nitehawks. Turn it On. Class act.

[@simonhodgetts6530]

Derry Girls was absolutely hilarious- the male characters in particular are brilliant.

[@missopowers]

I would have a grand evening chatting up this lad. 'Uncle Colm' as a character is genius.

[@sacmom3]

The other actors should have won awards just for keeping a straight face. I could have never done it. 🤣🤣

[@frolieberg]

I'd like a super power where I can call upon Colm to instantly appear and be unleashed upon my enemies.

[@jenn1738]

i liked him a lot

[@jaymacgee_A_Bawbag_Blethering]

Just superb writing and more importantly acting 🤣 👍🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@spongebug21]

I would give absolutely anything on earth to have a conversation with uncle Colm