Everything Wrong With German Tanks

[@SquireComedy]

Also, just a note for anyone wondering why the outro was longer than usual. KZbin has a distaste for short form content. That 10 minute mark seems to make a huge difference with their stab-in-the-dark analytics. As soon as they stop punishing creators for not making half an hour long let's plays, I'll stop trying to sidestep them. It's since occurred to me that this video didn't have enough "Yes" in it. What I should have done was filled that extra 45 seconds with a huge volume of "Yes".

[@ethanmoore1315]

Squire yesssss.....

[@SquireComedy]

^ Bang on.

[@ethanmoore1315]

The great squire notices me. I feel special now. 😅

[@janwitkowsky8787]

I loved the ending. Did you play yourself? :)

[@queenofyeay]

That stab in the dark analytics has also hit the longer form gamers too, Like DevilDogGamer and PhlyDaily... they are routinely around 15 to 20 minutes long. But anything to avoid the hassle of being "Unfriendly to Advertizers" I guess...

[@DZ-1987]

"You couldn't fit that in a Belgium forest" That's what the French said. It ended well, clearly.

[@sgtpepper0spray]

Yes, that was the joke indeed.

[@sundhaug92]

Also the americans (battle of the bulge)

[@kayagorzan]

Indeed.

[@ImWallace799]

neither could you fit an american!

[@projectpitchfork860]

@@sundhaug92 Well that didn't end well for Germany.

[@therustedshank9995]

Imagine if they used this as propaganda in WW2

[@m.albani4982]

LOL, this propaganda for the German

[@Linneom]

The Legion That commie outside Moscow: 😬

[@azuolas7410]

then germany wont have british prisoners

[@Mitchy-qw8no]

country baller He’s implying they would of killed them

[@charlieberesford4616]

They did

[@Junglehunter677]

"German tanks remain in service for too long!" *laughs in t34*

[@ThomasTubeHD]

Junglehunter677. T-34 is the Soviet one,dummy,T34/t34 is the America version,go to gulag

[@penwin-zv3pu]

The mouse had such a long serves life that it didn’t even see war

[@spaghettiwolf6057]

@@ThomasTubeHD r/woosshh

[@pedrolopez8057]

laughs in PzKW IV

[@shronkler1994]

@@ThomasTubeHD Oh you know what he meant you asshole.

[@sanaralerx9488]

German tanks last too long? *Cries in Tiger*

[@simpleandawesomeanime3220]

*Cries in a Elefant*

[@type-10]

SP I C never ever saw action.

[@dhaneswaraadhyaksa1285]

SP 1 C Is a prototype... And its after ww2

[@TheMadVulpen]

*Laughs in Leopard 2A5*

[@voughklry8362]

*cries in any tank design made after 1943*

[@neca512]

I feel like i just watched a british propaganda documentary.

[@cohenmleziva4615]

NecaN you did

[@jwilliams1038]

Ya same

[@ivanabelic979]

FENRISULVEN 1 German tanks were much better than British

[@tgpoppins3904]

Ivana Belic "Much better" is a considerable exaggeration. Most German tanks were better than everyone else's tanks, but they were over engineered which in a war of attrition is not the best idea. Plus we're back in the game (which we invented) with our challenger 2 which with it's superior armour (Chobham and explosive reactive armour), splendid gun and most importantly inbuilt tea making unit (not even joking) makes it the best damn tank in the world.

[@teethirtyfour7394]

You did.

[@robertbalazslorincz8218]

4:38 Squire: If the RAF doesnt spot them first Spitfire: *misses every shot*

[@protorandom9097]

And then drops the bomb way too late.

[@Metalbeast46934]

Spitfire pilot: Yeah, I can see it but I can't hit the BLOODY THING!! DAMMIT SQUIRE, YOU HAD TO JINX IT.

[@mowetti2968]

You Schuld know that RAF means red army fraction a german terorist fraction during the cold war

[@eagletanker]

And you should know the people will refer to it as the Red Army Faction instead of the RAF, which is Royal Air Force.

[@KSPUnitedYT]

wert plays 500 roblox it’s a joke you 7 year old

[@fuadhakim94yearsago86]

*ALL GERMAN TANK ARE TOO FAST!* Maus and Tiger :Am I A JoKe To YOu??!??

[@gserendipity]

E-100 Is a slow tank aswell. But E-100's head is stolen from Maus. L0L

[@nikkukurauzen5385]

The P. 1000 would have been the slowest if they completed it

[@estoor4258]

@@nikkukurauzen5385 Probably not, it was going to be basically an oversized Panzer 2 and have lots of big engines.

[@i3lackfusion]

EstGamer oversized pz2? Lmao

[@nikkukurauzen5385]

EstGamer the panzer 2 is tiny. The P. 1000 is way more than oversized compared to the panzer 2

[@theimperialyank]

Germany: *One shots British tank* Britain: "HACKS!"

[@GodzillaLollollol]

Germany: ha we win *russia joins the fight* also Germany: well were fu-

[@beenthere.donethat]

Russia: lol go away noob

[@damonrugg8284]

*America joins the fight* Everyone laughs

[@Dan-pf1jf]

No that wouldn't do, it would be like: German: *One shots British tank* Britain: Send in the RAF.

[@Metalbeast46934]

German E1 Tiger: No, actually that engineering 2000 iq brian putting a 88mm flak cannon on a tank body.

[@oliverevans4629]

Lmao 5000 people thought he was being serious

[@Schattenspieler1982]

Probably not. I'ld say, they were just not hyped by the style of the "narration". It's pretty obvious, that it's supposed to be a ironic, but still the way it's done is ... kinda cheap.

[@hanzarco7445]

Forty5 Iam sorry, listen carefully, and you know that the video is basically being funny and mostly IRONIC, and SARCASTIC of about whats said in the video, get good ears and a fixed mind...

[@hanzarco7445]

Forty5 LMFAO Kid, hey, iam sorry if you dont have a good taste of jokes, but if you cant really get it, then just stfu, and you probably not watched the entire or even a part of the video anyway....

[@hanzarco7445]

Forty5 Your last statement, before that last comment, what it is I dont accept other oppinions? See kiddo Iam not shutting you out, Iam trying to let you get the video's message, but you cant, sorry kiddo, must've been crying now, really sorry, LOL 😂😂

[@dieterkotwurfel7615]

It is called like and dislike button and thats how it should be used. If you LIKE a video, LIKE IT, if you DISLIKE a video DISLIKE it. FFS some people need to use their brain on the internet

[@samuellastname6960]

“Jumped up German tractors” Bob sempal tank: *am I a joke to you?*

[@leowcheewai8053]

No, it’s not a joke, he’ll it’s further than a god

[@Slenderrising]

As a german, I had to laugh the most. The style how this whole Thing is presented is just amazing. Really loved this.

[@pancytryna9378]

Watch and learn idiots

[@sirnicklnack]

Mich macht das aggressiv weil der Humor sehr kindisch und scheiße ist. Ich verstehe nicht wie man das lustig finden kann

[@jones2005]

Naja mit nem bissl Augen zudrücken... :D

[@friedwaldderlebendige8494]

@@sirnicklnack Depp, wenn du es nicht verstehst, schau's nicht...

[@d7_xs350]

German tanks are trash

[@snorp6781]

"THE DICKER MAX?" British making first ever tank: Little Willie. Both had 2 seperate ideas when it came to tanks.

[@sadface7463]

Big tank pp and smol tank pp

[@JSMEsq]

Communist Crusader and then big willie after little willie

[@bekluwe]

The first armored vehicle (Tank) was built by German-Born Frederick Richard Simms. He was born in Hamburg in 1863. He grew up in Hamburg and London and studied in Berlin.

[@yonneye2427]

Bernhard Klumpe. Well it depends on what you call a tank the modern definition is a heavily armoured vehicle with guns on an continuous metal tracks.

[@bekluwe]

Yonex There also tanks on wheels

[@MilitaryHistoryVisualized]

still alive and kicking... did you see my Sea Lion?

[@KaiservonKrieger]

Military History Visualized Hahaha

[@otherscup]

I saw it in Hearts of Iron IV. In 1937...

[@akka8588]

Military History Visualized well I think it's safe to say that Squire can still be charged with attempted murder :)

[@chubbycakes6446]

haha was already subbed before this video...at that time i was like "SOUNDS FAMILIAR"

[@Cpt_Boony_Hat]

That mad man tried to kill you!

[@kevinmikegrit]

More than 5000 people don't understand sarcasm. This is sarcastic comedy folks.

[@zwillia.s1432]

Stolen

[@death_walker21]

we r just sarcastic commenting

[@friedwaldderlebendige8494]

You can still dislike sarcasm

[@rezayadi1463]

@@zwillia.s1432 he is just telling people not stealing comments

[@norwegian_noisemaker6737]

or just wehraboos I guess

[@davidandgaillorier-may1967]

Guys this is a joke. Its a piss take of British tanks. Its British humour which appears to have gone right over the heads of many of you. It is a type of self deprecating joke that looks like its insulting German tanks but is actually insulting the British tanks. So chill out guys.

[@chesterthemolester7976]

yes, I think most of them know 🤣🤣

[@markpippin550]

You should chill out actually

[@orneryokinawan4529]

I totally get it over the top comedy. Hilarious. The "ill have you know" remark had me rolling going over all over the trees. 🤣

[@fizzldizzl1616]

The comment has 88 likes xD

[@cortezjohndreil.7950]

Yeah yeah I always chill

[@seppi1789]

"You wouldn´t get that through a Belgium forest..." Well as a member of the Germans, I sincerely appreciate your sense of humor, that about 6.5k people don´t seem to understand ^^

[@abeherbert6603]

The *ahem* Tiger. Definitely not a Czech T 34 covered in pieces of wood to look like a Tiger. Yesssss.

[@mathiasrryba]

we, the polish have done that as well and tbh they look like a tiger.... from 1km away in a dense fog that his...

[@abeherbert6603]

Yeah, it's unfortunately very obvious in Kelly's Heroes. Doesn't stop it from being one of my favourite films.

[@hvymtal8566]

Hey, when you don't have a real tiger to work with like the lucky bastards in Fury got, you make do.

[@dasirrlicht5415]

In dense fog, you say? That is becaus they were build for the Operation Seelöwe!

[@thitran1362]

well, there is only 1 operation Tiger left in the world and they only test run it a few times in a year

[@davidj.thompson]

A war documentary by "Monty Python"....

[@davidj.thompson]

Always nice to get a "like"...

[@TTisIH]

Who thinks paint rounds should be in Warthunder?

[@hiltonsothea1134]

Yep

[@aloskss]

Isaac Howard but why

[@cooolek2126]

@@aloskss to paint enemy tanks xD

[@Hardbass2021]

Use the paint round alongside the potato rounds every April Fools.

[@KellingtonDorkswafer]

Paintball tankery in War Thunder when?!

[@Hello_there_obi]

4.7K people don't get irony

[@trickydicky2594]

5k

[@broncosgjn]

British tanks are tan all irony. Keeps out bullets better than woody don't you know?

[@Ludwig1625]

Holy wehraboos...

[@michelangelangelo7091]

Matt Bolt 5.6k

[@wideyxyz2271]

5.1k now!

[@olympus__]

I got a tiger day ad before this very relevant

[@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785]

You forgot to mention the British Sexton, because the British know how to have a ton of sex in their tanks.

[@quintenvankasteel2437]

British? I'll have you know good sir that the Sexton was Canadian and it wasn't a tank it was a self propelled gun. Still a good joke though

[@craigkdillon]

@@quintenvankasteel2437 Wait a minute. A tank has a gun. Nobody else pushes the tank, so it is self propelled, too. Therefore, a tank is SPG. Right??? Go ask Chieftain.

[@quintenvankasteel2437]

@@craigkdillon MY MIND IS BLOWN XD

[@jonneelskamp349]

But it was canadian

[@f4fphantomii468]

A Ton of Sex Sexton

[@SomeGuy-lr7ms]

“The Dicker Max, Are they taking the piss!?” That made my day

[@Jesus_3232]

Lol you can kinda hear him giggle when saying “or left in France”

[@AvarikVonNom]

Press F to pay respect to Military History, yeeeeees.

[@RTenjoyer]

Avarik von Nom F

[@fortis3686]

Avarik von Nom F

[@djyppo]

F

[@FiestaKing36]

F

[@haithams3656]

F

[@Weppsu]

Military History Visualized: I cover military history with an analytically and *gunshots* Me: Jesus Christ are you trying to start a world war or something?

[@potatosmasher1072]

Imperium rip grammar

[@Cykadelia]

@@potatosmasher1072 Nothing seems wrong to me...?

[@baz6128]

2:58 this is a Churchill, the walking man's tank. lol.

[@ImWallace799]

The churchill, or if yer German, the fire at the frontal armor and have your 50mm shell ricochet off the inside track cover and into the assistant driver and kill the entire crew

[@jocelynndotson7273]

Because it's slow

[@vothbetilia4862]

How did he get the maple leaf insgina regiment on it?

[@Deavastator]

@Forever Maple God save the king, Its a Canadian Tank, Insignia an everything, Even the Red white red (Used on Canadian tanks its not a flag)

[@vothbetilia4862]

@@Deavastator Where do I find this on the customization?

[@zsuzsannadhellemnebardosi2701]

Stalin: But... our tanks have long guns too!!! *report comes in with the nuber of destroyed USSR tanks* Stalin. Ah, blyat.

[@josephstalin364]

Ah, blyat!

[@alexanderm9446]

"Squire uploaded a video 33 seconds ago" Well who needs sleep...

[@NightWolf-yh9nl]

“Neubaufahrzeug” means Newdesignvehicle in German

[@skeletorlord621]

Dicker Max means thicc Max

[@edelweiss-]

Newbuildvehicle*

[@franken0702]

and sd.kfz. means SonderKampfFahrzeug

[@edelweiss-]

@@franken0702 Sonderkraftfahrzeug*

[@franken0702]

@@edelweiss- oh ok

[@OldEastGermany]

Black British humor, as a German we will never understand that.

[@thomasgodridge5945]

We British are something of an enigma. It's all the tea, it messes with our brains.

[@foxtrot0417]

@@thomasgodridge5945 Maby the americans should throw your Tea of the ship again XD

[@thomasgodridge5945]

@@foxtrot0417 Don't you dare!

[@foxtrot0417]

@@thomasgodridge5945 dont worry im not American XD (but happy you understood the joke)

[@thomasgodridge5945]

@@foxtrot0417 Oh, good. XD It put a smile on my face!

[@mdre96]

It’s painful to see how many people don’t get sarcasm. I mean it’s not that hard to detect that. Even Sheldon would understand this video. Great video🔥

[@kekw4781]

Franklin D Roosevelt yeah I Do (I think)

[@Perktube1]

Snowflakes don't get humor.

[@Metalbeast46934]

His voice is sarcasm. I mean who the bloody hell sounds like that. Was hos vocal.cords damaged at birth?

[@friedwaldderlebendige8494]

You can still dislike sarcasm

[@udozocklein6023]

@@Metalbeast46934 he is just british man, relax lol

[@Prometheus19853]

Those Panthers go 55 kilometers per hour! I don't know how fast that is, but they go 35 miles per hour! >dead

[@ocdgaming5791]

Squire uploads, day turns good

[@SquireComedy]

Glad to be of service.

[@trinhannienguyen8941]

D s

[@rockysquid1094]

“Austrian with some Prussian tendencies.” Sounds like Hitler to me. Anyone else?

[@BFF-xn9dx]

Lol 😂

[@dutchvanderlinde778]

So you are saying that every Austrian sounds like Hitler to you

[@JerryP7a]

@@dutchvanderlinde778 a joke

[@dutchvanderlinde778]

@@JerryP7a I know

[@u.s.1974]

Ja

[@grantpollmann6175]

HE’S ALIVE

[@SquireComedy]

Just about. The sky was red yesterday. I was midway through building my fallout shelter, when I realised I hadn't uploaded a final video.

[@martijn9568]

Squire Same here in the swampland east of Engeland

[@christosswc]

"Not like...the Valentine!" I cried :)

[@TheRailroadDiplomat]

Christos Segkounas That is nothing compared to the Swedish Stridsvagn tanks, lel

[@LadyMaskPain]

Me too!!!

[@Firebolt193]

*Sees this video pop up in notifications* Oh, a new Squire video! I wonder what it is on! *''Every Thing Wrong With German Tanks''* *Eye twitches* I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW SQUIRE, THAT... (Insert rant on the superiority of German vehicles over their shoddy Allied counterparts here)

[@MrRespectfulGenius]

Yes, the Germans sure knew how to build a mean horse.

[@thesupertendent8973]

Firebolt1089: I covered you on that.. (In squires comment) and that I'm sure it fits your description of what you may say

[@furioussherman7265]

I'll see you that angry rant and raise you one lecture by the one and only Nicholas "The Chieftain" Moran. kzbin.info/www/bejne/mH_NoZJqn75rprs Game, set, match. I win.

[@hvymtal8566]

Don't feed the Wehraboo

[@furioussherman7265]

I'm not feeding him, I'm castrating him.

[@statingtheobvious8119]

*AND WHATS THIS? EXCUSE ME?* *THE D I C K E R M A X?*

[@lordwunglerbeckett]

You know, there was a plan to mount a 128mm cannon in place of it's original 105mm and call the upgraded version the Thicker Dicker

[@DZ-1987]

Forgot that tank existed. And here i was, bragging to me mates, a few years ago about having a dicker, at maximum, whatever that mean't.

[@kevinkevinski5101]

It means fat max

[@fangaming5509]

Oh well now they just taking the PISS

[@snorp6781]

And let us remember the the first ever tank, made by the British. *THE L I T T L E W I L L I E*

[@_Matsimus_]

This was epic lol

[@kongocat4240]

Whaaaaaaaa YOU WATCHED THIS VID!?!?

[@kongocat4240]

Love your vids.

[@arcade185]

Matsimus???????

[@Texan.Insomniac]

10/10 unbiased accurate documentary am I right?

[@Texan.Insomniac]

10/10 unbiased accurate documentary am I right?

[@ORYG1N]

Damn, son, that minute and a half long outro was awesome! ;D

[@SquireComedy]

Thank you. Not letting KZbin rip me off for my hundreds of hours of work, just because it falls a minute short of that 10 minute mark. How are things your end?

[@ORYG1N]

Squire haha. Yea, it's so frustrating with all these weird things we gotta do to make vids work.

[@pacodado1944]

Squire Is there any chance that you inform me about the title of your glorious outro song?

[@etramulnn785]

for the 10:06 XD

[@zhencongng8064]

Yess whats the outro?

[@petesampson4273]

You forgot a few things wrong with German tanks. 1. They were too bloody heavy to glide well or, indeed, fly at all. 2. It was bloody hard work to pound out the dents caused by enemy fire. 3. Those big, long, guns weren't just a problem while trying to traverse the turret. They were bloody loud and a well-trained British ear could hear the shots from miles away. 4. They got bloody hot in the desert and bloody cold on the frozen tundra. 5. All that extra and bloody unnecessary steel could have been used to make really useful weapons like "belt buckle guns", bayonets, slingshot ammo, and assorted pointy bits of metal that could be jammed into enemy soldiers.

[@TimTommerson-rw2hj]

pete sampson Bloody here and bloody there , fucking Inselaffe !

[@deathtrooper7760]

fucking Backsteinblonde Inselaffen

[@Birb_of_Judge]

pete sampson Slingshot Projectiles? Are you referring to the Slingshot Channel?

[@petesampson4273]

Nah. Just riffing.

[@rameynoodles152]

6. They DON'T have a bloody TEA station!!

[@jameslawrie3807]

You have to admit though, those Faux Tigers in 'Kelly's Heroes' were great efforts in a time when studios were quite happy to just paint a balkenkreuz on a Patton or something similar.

[@okrajoe]

Hey its Tiger #131 roaming around the desert

[@XDrake3107]

Rommel prob lost him there and now the tiger is looking for his daddy

[@lucaswallace7476]

OR its just chilling

[@lucaswallace7476]

looking for Panzers IV to be his freind

[@thinkingofaname3832]

The legendary tiger that destroyed a entire convoy of Sherman firefly (with another tiger #142)

[@HMSConqueror]

WRONG! Tiger 131 was out of action because of a 6 pounder round jammed the turret.

[@CMDRFandragon]

2,000 people need to fix their sarcasm meters haha.

[@matthewfernandez1101]

CMDRFandragon Lol so True

[@nicoderechte442]

I think they just disliked him because of that voice. I mean it makes me wanna do a "holiday" trip to where ever he lives. xD

[@jimdecamp7204]

It wasn't in the least clever. There was plenty wrong with German tanks. Before the battle of Kursk at least two ruined their final drives being unloaded from train cars because the final drives where inadequate for their mass.. Panzers had a mean distance between mobility failure of about 100 km. With the German Army retreating, a lost tread meant a captured tank. (The much maligned Sherman, had a mdbmf of about halfway around the world.) Their largest tanks were too heavy for most road bridges, the engineers had to reinforce the bridges under fire. The final drive had about a 1500 km life.

[@DrzBa]

What game is this from?

[@CMDRFandragon]

German tanks were more reliable then Russians. Russians lost just about as many tanks to break downs as they did to fire....RUssian tanks were trash...

[@Igor-ug1uo]

Prussian Tendencies, an amazing name for a metal band!

[@olebergst.5828]

Prussidal Tendencies

[@shinkreytpuylap]

"There all too bloody fast!" Those Heavy tanks : *Am I a joke to you?*

[@barnabyg6808]

Good job lengthening your outro and intro to spice up that 10 min ad revenue Well played sir

[@YetiGains123]

Tankieguy Lol He deserves it. He does high quality videos and you can see that he puts much work in them

[@barnabyg6808]

Yeti123 absolutely he does and I’m. It criticising it

[@tvela595]

Hello, I’m one of the 5.3k people that disliked the video because I can’t take a joke and I need to flex my girthy knowledge of German machinery. I have no sense of humor, and there are brick walls that are more vibrant than I am.

[@Glocktopus1]

T Vela Don’t worry, it was my initial reaction as well👍

[@user-dd9qq1ru7s]

2k probably disliked because of what you said and the other 3k probably didn't like the video and the narrator

[@tiang1493]

wElL ThEN Yo.u CaN Go To HeLl

[@dexterramos1826]

Its insulting the british not the german

[@erwinrommel6561]

@Piechowski Kamil you dumb as fuck.

[@L3AF]

i love this kind of video we just need a german doing the same with whats wrong writh british or american tank xD. Squire you sir is the funniest lad ive discoverd over the internett ^^

[@BioWolf091]

L3AF ich Agree!

[@Frankenstein42LP]

L3AF the problem is you english dudes won't understand german so you aren't sportsman you cannt speak out languague

[@L3AF]

i mean like you do the accent you know russian english accent and german accent etc xD in orignal langauge would be impossible to understand xD

[@Frankenstein42LP]

L3AF yeah wouldn't be bad but i think i have to have a script so i can talk so

[@DetonatingD]

Friedrich Ahlsdorf nice ich auch

[@elisabethlopez2378]

"Look at that cannon, It's just too big!" Me watching This Historically Accurate Documentary: "Wait Wasn't the Tiger meant for Open spac-" This extremely Historically accurate Documentary: we can bring the British empire back Me: "HUZZAH! AN HISTORY CHANNEL SHOW OF QUALITY!"

[@Metalbeast46934]

It's pronounced "A HISTORY CHANNEL."

[@buckokid5930]

In the Queen's English, one places an "an" before a word beginning with "h". You must be a German spy if you don't know that.

[@thomasforgue3453]

aha but you see- with some english accents- historically sounds more like istorically which means this is correct Spies!

[@thundercookie9576]

Oh my gosh... I don't think I have actually clicked on a video so fast well done Squire!!!

[@gibby5708]

How are there so many people with no sense of humor and an even worse understanding of voice tones.

[@braeddie]

Gerries don't have a sense of humour.

[@gibby5708]

braeddie There are so many in this comment section though! It is truly scary to see so many idiots in one place.

[@jackofshadows8538]

I know. I've a few German friends and they have a markedly different sense of humour. It's almost as if they still think of Charlie Chaplin as the master of comedy. Their sense of humour seems very 'regimented'. And they find slapstick hilarious. Any other kind of humour is completely over their heads. What's odd about it is that Danes and Germans seem to be able to chat to each other but the Danes have a very British sense of humour [well, the ones I've met anyway] and Danish accents seem to switch to scouse or geordie quite easily.

[@johncasey1020]

I thought that I detected a bit of sarcasm. Am I right ? :)

[@olebergst.5828]

I am German and I don't know a single person explicitely liking Charlie Chaplin or anything alike to be honest

[@drstihl2007]

As an now angry German, without any sense of humour except some bits about dead parrots and an inquisition of the Iberian type (gotta love the ruthless efficiency), i send the like via...churchill tank. Once it's there London will be part of bloody Grand Wales.

[@davidandgaillorier-may1967]

Gor gasm I hope you understand that this video is a joke. Its subtle British self deprecation humour that looks like it is insulting German tanks while actually insulting the British tanks.

[@gladehartdreamer5620]

@@davidandgaillorier-may1967 its pretty obvious he knew it was sarcasm, he even said he would send a like and mocked his own lack of humour.

[@davidandgaillorier-may1967]

@@gladehartdreamer5620 geez that was 6th months ago I forgot this conversation had even happened.

[@bigboys108]

“GERMAN TANKS ARE TOO BLOOD TO FAST” THATS WHY THEY HAD lighting war

[@friedwaldderlebendige8494]

Lighting? Did Hitler already have Lazerguns in 1940?

[@jurkoskvarka2154]

blitzkreig

[@friedwaldderlebendige8494]

@@jurkoskvarka2154 Did you mean Blitzkrieg?

[@jurkoskvarka2154]

@@friedwaldderlebendige8494 did i write it wrong?

[@friedwaldderlebendige8494]

@@jurkoskvarka2154 you wrote blitzkreig, when it is Blitzkrieg

[@f4fphantomii468]

So many woosh's of the bullets going over the heads of The viewers... Uh I mean the Jokes.

[@MissesWitch]

After making that long point I burst out laughing the moment he said "The Tortoise"

[@z3r0_35]

The funny thing is that there's actually a little bit of truth to all these: -Regarding guns, one thing the Germans never seemed to figure out was how to make their gun breaches smaller, as they tended to be fairly large compared to similar caliber weapons used by the Allies. This obviously led to problems when trying to upgun certain vehicles like the Tiger II, which couldn't fit a 105 mm gun without the breach hitting the back of the turret whenever the gun fired. Compare this to the Soviets with the IS-2, who managed to fit a 122 mm gun into the damned thing, albeit a very slow-firing one due to it using two-piece ammunition. -As for being too fast, this did in fact cause some problems as early as 1940, with German armor outrunning their own infantry support and supply lines, and even getting out of radio contact entirely in extreme cases (as was the case with the 7th Panzer Division, nicknamed the "Ghost Division" after the fall of France), and this problem became even more pronounced in North Africa (as excellent of a tactical commander as Rommel was, he had absolutely no grasp of logistics whatsoever). Then there were other cases where that was a problem: the Tiger I and Panther. The Tiger I was actually about as fast as a Sherman, with a competent driver and commander to avoid poor terrain, but this caused excessive wear and tear on the components, so later ones had a speed governor installed (though this was frequently removed by the crews), and the Panther had an overloaded front suspension and an overly complex transmission that liked to break down frequently if pushed too hard for too long. The Tiger's problems were mostly fixed and weren't present for the most part on the Tiger II, but the Panther was never really fixed. (Sidenote on the Cromwell: the main reason for the speed governor iirc was for the same reason that the Tiger I had one, as it used a repurposed aircraft engine, which - due to being designed for maximum performance with as little weight as possible but with frequent maintenance - isn't exactly ideal for the sorts of things you'd do with a tank) -Regarding size...yep, this was pretty much a given, the Allies mostly agreed on this, mostly because there was insufficient infrastructure to support 60+ metric ton vehicles during the war...hell, even vehicles in excess of 30 metric tons were pushing it at times. This is the main reason why the Russians have had a strict weight limit on their tanks of around 50-55 tons at most (which they only recently did away with upon unveiling the Armata series of AFVs), whereas NATO basically said 'fuck it' regarding weight limits in the 1970s when coming up with the third generation of MBTs (leading to vehicles like the M1 Abrams, Leopard 2, and Challenger - a modern Abrams in particular weighs as much if not slightly more than a Tiger II).

[@CrazyDutchguys]

when trying to what. YOUR COMMENT CUTS OFF DAMNIT KZbin, FIRST DEMONITIZATIONS, THEN YOU TAKE AWAY MY ABILITY TO LEARN ABOUT TANKS

[@rotor7726]

If you use the 'Inspect' function on the comment (Right click) then you can access the code that surrounds it. You should be able to get to the full comment from there.

[@jammygamer8961]

Mingfang Lin they did upgrade older tanks like turning the skoda tanks into the hetzer

[@jammygamer8961]

oh i didnt know you ment that but the reason they didnt upgrade the guns was because the guns they had could penetrate any known tank in ww2

[@joshuabanner3675]

Check out military history visualized on this; Germany suffered from a documented lack of good leadership when it came to technical development, leading to things like project overlap and engineers simply pursuing their own pet projects. Both the Nazi brass and the Military leadership were Romantic sentimentalists and as such were both unqualified and unwilling to learn when it came to technical matters.

[@fatcat4193]

"Short and maintained" *CONFUSED LONG BARREL TORTOISE*

[@ImWallace799]

Ahemm ahem.. the jagdtiger, jagdpanther, tortoise, t28, t95, stug 3 ausf/ .g, and the marders 1-3 all have stationary guns so they can be as long as they want!

[@fatcat4193]

@@ImWallace799 huh...I didn't think of that

[@projectpitchfork860]

@@ImWallace799 Ever heard of the Firefly and Cromwell?

[@ImWallace799]

@@projectpitchfork860 i certainky have. my point being, if a tank is in an alleyway too skinny to turn the tank, you turn the turret. if a tank e.g. the firefly has a long gun and turret. so it can't traverse. if a tank destroyer (e.g. jagdtiger i think it's cool) cannot traverse it's gun around so why bother a short barrel?

[@theenginetheyusedtocallgri6268]

Ever since I saw this episode I will never read SD.KFZ the same way

[@warp65]

"You wouldn't get that through a Belgian forest" Almost choked on my weet Bix lol

[@sharkfinbite]

I am surprised you had that Austrian youtuber on here. I seen his videos before. He is... not so much funny or entertaining. He is literally a professional educator youtuber. He flat out admits he does not go for entertainment in his videos. His goal is to provide none bias info. I am impressed you had him on there. I encourage all of you to check his videos. He is very smart, educated, and covers a lot of material about the war using a lot of sources.

[@andrewyang2449]

sharkfinbite "Say... You're not German, are you?" "No, I'm Austrian." Squire gets WW1 flashbacks. Gunshots.

[@eugeneawimbo6976]

CAN YOU GIVE A LINK TO HIS VIDEOS PLEASE?

[@Turgineer]

5:28 "Now, you see a good old-fashroned British tank has what's known as a service life. It gets built, it sees combat, it dies or breaks down or gets left in France or all three." I still love A13 Mk.II

[@SquireComedy]

Hope everyone enjoys the show! Here's a link to my Discord server, Patreon, and to Military History Visualized. An equally historically accurate channel. www.patreon.com/squire discord.gg/squire kzbin.info/door/K09g6gYGMvU-0x1VCF1hgA

[@hornetplays4045]

Squire k I might get to join because I just downloaded War Thunder!!!

[@Frafra15]

Squire hi squire

[@mastro6346]

Bloody finally squire also verry good point

[@samhansen9771]

Squire you should try your hand at bomber crew if you can

[@chocolatebar5663]

ughhh when you said they name tanks after animals you forgot that horrible maus

[@angelomaset1441]

The fact that @militaryhistoryvisualized was in this makes it so much better

[@Tiger_42_]

Dicker Max means Fat Max... Ok bye from 2018

[@arnavkalgutkar6169]

r/wooosh

[@sirskitariibush5570]

@@arnavkalgutkar6169 why r/woosh though? He just explained what the word means.

[@peteryvesclement364]

Everything wrong with German tanks summarized : they’re not British.

[@memetasticvondank131]

*Son...* *The Hetzer Does Not Look like a Lunchbox*

[@boyseboosted7655]

It looks like a juice carton

[@jarrhead3538]

Yes, let’s change the excessive name of “Hetzer” to “lunchbox of death”

[@limecheesecake1832]

The graveyard of unmade Hetzers in WoT is actually just a kitchen

[@f4fphantomii468]

What the fuck xddddd

[@thunderchild685]

It does look a juice box the barrel I the straw

[@Arutax]

3:59 "All's Fair in Love and War." That's why Crusader Tanks existed and why Flamethrowers were invented by the Germans.

[@angryanon3870]

I shouldn't laugh that much, but this "totally accurate historical documentary" is way too funny.

[@MarekUtd]

I love that you have the guy from Military History Visualised on the video. I recognised his voice right away. His channel is great!!!

[@cf-1043]

“Their guns are too big!” **laughs in 17-pounder**

[@LaTortuga79]

The Cromwell had the speed limited because the engine would overheat and the suspension and tracks would mess up. But alright😂

[@aaaarghgl]

The Germans had to do the same for the Panther, no? And even after that, it sucked.

[@royperkins3851]

DeRpY TuRtLe spee

[@thebravegallade731]

aaaarghgl True, but at least the panther was anazing when they worked. The cromwell...

[@nuclearsnek3749]

TheBraveGallade the panthers was pretty bad for being a t34 rip off

[@alankates2866]

Cromwell was a waste of iron.

[@commodoregaming1651]

*Sends like via Carrier Tortoise*

[@Quadratical]

has it arrived yet?

[@commodoregaming1651]

Sadly not, could be another few weeks before it gets there.

[@doggy_ebooks]

and if you are in america, maybe about a year

[@reid1283]

Commodore Gaming you mean a few centuries

[@KellingtonDorkswafer]

Commodore Gaming Wonder if your like finally reached the correct destination...

[@zachboyd4749]

6:11 “Champions of fair play and decency” Rolls out the 17 pndr FU launcher....

[@randomguythatwatchesyoutub2673]

“This beauty won’t do 35 mph if you push it off a cliff. Which means the highly trained British soldier can jog comfortably besides you.” No wonder the Russians reached Berlin first.

[@KerrickS]

Im early again! Hooray! (I also server the squidonian empire :D)

[@amylikestheblues3814]

Hey Squire do you remember me? I am the one who suggested the twin mustang video. I was just wondering what ever happened to the top five epic plays? Anyway I just wanted to say that I SERVE THE SQUIDONIAN EMPIRE!

[@ak-s8379]

what did happen to those?

[@sohammitra7516]

5:36 or gets left in france lmao 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@samarvora7185]

Or all three.

[@Kaoristillfox]

Yay Squire. Broke finger clicking on video 10/10.

[@andymocan4760]

Another fair,just and correct historical documentary,dear sir! This could be fit for the British Pathe Newsreel.Bravo again!

[@lithuanianironwolf8980]

Andy Mocan you know that was comedy?

[@andymocan4760]

I'm very sorry...but you think the utter superiority of His Majesty's Land-Ships over the Hun's extravagantly painted tin cans is COMEDY?!You dealt a severe blow on everyone on this comment section.Shame on you,sir.Shame on you! (Of course I know it's comedy XD)

[@TheWarriorLP16]

Zis is britisch propaganda!!!!!!!

[@yoyoyeah9083]

TheWarriorLP16 you thinka comrad stalin tank best tank

[@deuduchesoldat3965]

Your german? Then hallo vas est ist sier dey oh Jä guten tag ind Deuducheland ist beautiful oh vatse it's mien Telefon lol hehe bye!

[@vladimirthefurryhunter6590]

TheWarriorLP16 agree

[@taiga9675]

No its the truth German tank's are to big to unreliable to much to early

[@pineapplepenumbra]

British Propaganda is the *Best* propaganda, and anyone saying otherwise is just trying to spread inferior foreign propaganda!

[@highfive4203]

I think this is the best video you have ever made!

[@des-oe1vl]

the churchill is so slow that a german soldier could tape a demolition charge to that slow tank

[@comrade_leej]

At least our soldiers can keep up. *czechmate*

[@des-oe1vl]

good move, the Germans had no tanks made for killing infantry

[@soyderiverdeliverybeaver8941]

All tank could easly kill infantry unless they were in urban warfare. The tanks unable to fight infantry and made for fighting armor are called tank destroyers

[@awesomeadajuhovaaa523]

des 0619 panzer I and panzer II

[@irishcoffee-pr7gf]

GERMANS HAVE THE BEST NAMES

[@nicoderechte442]

irishcoffee 2002 Oh yeah, how do you like Baustellenfahrzeug or Reichspropagandaminister? xD

[@jaelawrence6924]

YES IT MAKES THEM SOUND INTELLIGENT!!!!!!!!! Unlike the british, they cant pronounce German because they have such big mouths!

[@kush3bush560]

Or the glorious Bausparvertrag

[@nolanbell1681]

Oh ya remember the focker plane

[@munchfive5691]

untersaad was cool, even if not tank.

[@simbachvazo6530]

“30 good ol fashioned British Miles per Hour!” Hey, something seems off here...

[@regular6338]

6:43 as a german: laughed my ucking arse off

[@mithrawnudo2152]

Noooooo! You've done in Military History Visualized! Damned tea drinking redcoat.

[@basiaromanovski458]

"I dont know if jerries expected their infantry to be motorized or something" Oh my god xD

[@jocelynndotson7273]

2:30 Squire: another thing wrong with German tanks is that they're all to bloody fast Me: *laughs in m24 Chaffee*

[@jatiwirahmasakti1322]

Squire : *YOU CANT HAVE A TANK THAT FAST* it wouldnt be fair

[@adiarka4543]

Squire I can see you have difficulties compensating for the demonetization problem. I suggest you insert some of your more old style, live-commentary gameplay videos in between the highly scripted and edited ones such as this. That way you’ll have an easier time working with the system without needing to reduce your video quality.

[@SquireComedy]

Not a bad suggestion. I'd consider doing some more Verdun videos or something, but instant demonetization is something of a deterrent. I've got some different content on it's way soon enough, which should shake things up a bit!

[@adiarka4543]

Squire I see, I shall wait for it then. About instant demonetization, you might want to consider changing the title words from “War Thunder Gameplay” to something along the lines of “WT Gameplay”. Also, I sincerely miss your old roleplay videos and its characters, especially the Air Chief Marshal Sir Hugh Massingbird Massingbird VC, DFC and Bar (hopefully I spelled it correctly). Would really love to see more of those, and I’m sure most of the audience would agree!

[@SquireComedy]

Sadly, It's not just the titles that cause the instant demonetization. This video was uploaded a few times, in varying states. It turns out, KZbin doesn't like second world war footage of German tanks.

[@adiarka4543]

Squire That’s new, I didn’t know they’re that specific in finding reasons to demonetize. I think they need to open a history book or two, and maybe learn that they also show these things in history classes. Bugger it, even KZbin itself is doing it... tell me that the “exit full screen” button at the bottom right corner doesn’t look like the Wehrmacht ‘+’ symbol.

[@adiarka4543]

Squire In any case, good luck old chap, hopefully things will turn out better. (FYI, while answering the comments I’ve gotten multiple ads on this video)

[@sargenttom121]

Do another tea time with squire?

[@Outlaw2-5]

Just watched several videos and love them all. Awesome vids and definitely subscribing!

[@PlaneBoy2520]

Squire, I have a challenge for you. Make a video about the French aircraft without mentioning or making jokes about their surrender. If you do, you will win a free imaginary high five from me, and who could resist that? If you fail the challenge then you will lose your tea and crumpet privileges for a week.

[@braeddie]

Don't the French's aircraft have the unique capability to fly backwards, allowing their exit from contact more efficiently than their contemporaries?

[@sumanrai8921]

2:23 most realistic thing i've ever seen🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@avnishyadav1492]

Lol yea

[@karlsson7300]

Another german here, that loves this video :D Especially the part "this beauty wouldnt do 35 mph if you pushed it of a cliff" :D :D :D

[@baleinebleue47]

Their names don't make you feel scared. Maus: Am i joke to you?

[@victorselve8349]

Also they drive at the wrong side of the road...

[@qqLucaqq]

Victor Selve seems legit

[@dasmafiatoast94]

No you Drive on the wrong Side😂

[@victorselve8349]

Das Mafiatoast no I drive on the right side

[@dasmafiatoast94]

Victor Selve i dont think so

[@victorselve8349]

Das Mafiatoast no I do drive on the RIGHT side