Ex's Mind In The Curiosity Stage After Breakup

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In this video, Coach Lee discusses what your ex thinks, feels, and experiences in the curiosity stage after a breakup, which is the first stage after they broke up with you. Learn more about this stage and why your ex is doing the things that they are doing right now.
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#curiositystage #stagesofbreakup #stagesafterbreakup

[@trizahnjuguna1471]

I was there , I thought I’ll die cuz of the pain . He dumped me I didn’t beg . Did No contact for four months . He reached out he was begging me . We are now married for one year . Follow what Couch is saying . I listened each and every video every day for four months

[@Glidezz_]

thanks for commenting this , im 3 months no contact and i feel like shell never reach out , seeing yours took longer then mine currently is made me stop feeling like i have to reach out now. thank you!

[@valianthousemusic1026]

Im right there with you bro, same situation we must stay strong!

[@sloanmagnum5009]

Why did he dump you, what did he do while he was on his own and why did he feel the need to come back and why did you take him back? I'm just curious how the series of events leads to marriage.

[@trizahnjuguna1471]

@@sloanmagnum5009 it’s a long story we come from different cultures, and the issue was with his family . We had a small fight and then he got angry then he broke up with me . He tells me he was just doing nothing just focusing on himself. I did the same to myself just loving me . One day we were met at the church and the rest is history.

[@trizahnjuguna1471]

@@Glidezz_ do not reach out to. Don’t give her your powers

[@imyourwifesbigdsidepiece5048]

To those who’ve been dumped, go into immediate No Contact. You can’t raise attraction with words. Showing the strength & CONFIDENCE that you can just walk away will work wonders on yourself and will most definitely be noticed by your ex whether they reach out or not. This painful time WILL fade and pass and you will be happy again.

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Imyourwifesbu, You are correct! No Contact is to take time to see how you feel, and by doing the things you want to. It gives your partner TIME also, and see how much he really misses you. I wish you the BEST, ALWAYS..💕❤❤

[@rolienchiru211]

Exactly

[@SonPham-ts5gc]

you dream

[@r3d_ti3_guy]

No contact is for your sanity, not theirs. Remember that.

[@kayliegil8018]

Please listen to Coach Lee, I can't stress this enough guys I was going through a breakup back in May after a 2 year relationship and I was devastated, but I followed what coach Lee said and I listened when I felt sad or lost and my boyfriend came back to me by July. We decided to keep trying and he just graduated college yesterday and we're moving in together, talking about getting married and starting a family very soon. Your significant other can't miss you if you're not absent from their life, they have to realize they cannot see themselves without you. I came back here because I remembered Coach Lee said most of the people with success stories never come back because they go on to live happy lives. I never thought it would be me, but he helped me when I was depressed from the breakup and he helped make my dreams come true because I have everything I want in life right now. I had to come back and let you guys know. Just remember if they don't come back soon it's because you have to grow and be a better person, or maybe someone even better for you will come your way. Who knows what the future will hold? Sending all my luck and love to you all!

[@diaryofseresha]

He came back after 3 months of nc?

[@user-xv3zr4lm1j]

So happy for you. You deserve your love story. ❤

[@hurricane7438]

I deactivated social media after she left me. Can’t see you, can’t see me 😅

[@losbanos999]

This will be a popular video. Curiosity stage is them beginning their journey back to you and their heartache for you....have faith in the process!

[@RealCoachLee]

Thanks, the video hasn’t done quite as well as we hoped, but it can still get out to a lot of people.

[@sindhusekar1918]

@@RealCoachLee May be try changing the title for SEO

[@imyourwifesbigdsidepiece5048]

No contact works! They WILL think of you when you disappear. My ex already reached out after 35 days with a VERY flirtatious sexual text. I responded casually. I also know she’s asking others about me and who I’m hanging out with. It’s because I’ve taken the focus off of her and back onto myself.

[@sloanmagnum5009]

How long were you together?

[@imyourwifesbigdsidepiece5048]

@@sloanmagnum5009 Only 5 months but there was a build up of sexual tension for half a year leading up to it. She moved 5 hours away for a job after 3 months, the distance & future had a lot to do with it ending from both our perspectives.

[@mohamedabdelhai2890]

Today is my 34 day of no contact😔

[@imaneelabid1009]

3 months on no contact! It does get easier.. sometimes I just want to sit and cry! But I turn the pain to work on myself 10× longer and harder! It helps me! Stay strong

[@Sanchez.Basado]

It’s been 3 months here too, shit hurts:/ idek if i want to get her back, i just want a text back

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Sanvhez, what do you expect to see kn ​@@Sanchez.Basado

[@MCGREGORO18]

In no contact for about 2 weeks. holding on strong!! working on myself and my career! your videos have helped my mental health tremendously, thank you coach lee!!

[@imyourwifesbigdsidepiece5048]

Keep grinding. It gets easier with time. Whether the person comes back around or not you’ll be stronger for walking away.

[@valianthousemusic1026]

im in my 4th month, and i tell you it gets exponetially easier to deal with. the first two months are tough, but if you can get through that period you're good and are most likely going to win this no contact stuff.

[@brandonmontemayor8178]

I’ve been in no contact for a month. I was certain that I’d never hear from my ex again. It was a terrible, drawn out breakup. Yet after the second week, she’s been unblocking me then blocking me every day or every other day. So now since I’ve given her that space, she’s had time to go through emotions that aren’t anger. I haven’t heard from her yet but her family contacts me daily. 8 notice she’s looking at my social medias. And plus, I have some important things that she left at our house when she moved out and she knows they’re there, we’ve talked about it before u went no contact. So I’m just giving her space and working on myself and when she’s ready, she will contact me to get her things and ahead of time will see something different in me. And if she doesn’t, then ok, I’ve grown, I’ve attracted many people recently, good people. I hope to work things out with her because I have a ring for her, but if not. I’ll sell the ring and move on with my life

[@robertwells7861]

Also at the two month mark. She has checked with me twice, one call, one text. I replied to both casual and positive. I will not do her job as she fired me. Stay strong.

[@TheCSish]

She did reach out, 3 months and 14 days.. on my birthday. I had given up hope, and I admit that I cried in raw emotion from her message. Yup.. no contact is that hard. But DO no contact. Dont give in. She wants to meet up now, and discuss something.. I am not sure if I will get her back, but I consider this a victory. And in the meantime I have reconnected with friends, family, been travelling, and trained... even if she dont come back.. im ok

[@jz5374]

Update?

[@bladimiragurcia4720]

Don’t give in

[@TheCSish]

So - we videotalked for 2 hours. She is having alot of stress, got fired from her job. And have to work with herself through a therapist. I actually did understand the need for her to break up, as she was mentally spiralling downwards, after an extremely hard 2023 (the both of us). I decided to let her be herself. Let her work on herself, so she can feel something again. Give her space. Its been 4 months since she broke up, and I set a timeframe for how long I want to "wait" for her... I give her 2 months more, and if she is not really in contact with me at the time, I will just move on. @@Whatsthedealio1977

[@TheCSish]

So... we met up. Hugged, she talked alot, cried... I tried to just listen, and make the conversation light and casual. It worked... she took my arm, held it... I hugged her again. She said she wanted to have me let her go, but she also said that I should not make her go... (go figure) - my thoughts are that she is stressed, and really does not know what she wants. She leaned her head into my chest when we hugged goodbye. Its been 10 days since I heard from her. I am not writing. But I am also not waiting.

[@diaryofseresha]

@@TheCSish she metup with you for closure i guess cuz clearly someone else in her heart or life or she saw no future with u You shouldnt have given her the closure n pleasure to hug you, if that's hurting you now thinking about it

[@HareeshRajuk]

You are the Jesus to heal breakups man!! Love your insights.

[@ekalb245]

I know she will never come back to me. The way she ended it so abruptly and I know her personality... When she makes a decision it's final. But these videos are still really helpful for my mindset. Just gotta keep going

[@GsxrGirl5049]

Could she be born earth sign?

[@ekalb245]

Taurus, not sure what kind of sign that is@@GsxrGirl5049

[@FETFAZIDIS]

Any news from her?

[@Moon_Goddess717]

Unless she’s a sociopath, the coldness and absoluteness is a facade, IF your ex is truly dismissive.

[@rozziwk5706]

Wish i'd listened to Coach Lee 2 years ago. It's easy in hindsight to say that but if I had then I wouldn't have screwed up my situation even worse and set myself back further. This guy is so wise and he talks so much sense regarding relationships. Best Coach out there by far. Listen in people don't screw up like me

[@darksideofthebright4284]

Over 2 months NC. It's funny and encouraging how pain of her absence turned into somehow kind of relief and more strength. Pain is giving us two roads: you either keep suffering and regreting (of course, you have to mourn and have that rollercoaster of emotions from time to time) or accept it, let it go and making yourself stronger and more resilient. It will happen naturally when we do it right way and let words and emotions vent correctly.

[@13thbornpr]

The part where you say they want to gack into relief was a ah ha moment for me! I'm sure thats why she checked out my story! She is an avoidant and this is the most logical explanation based on what i know of her. Thank you!

[@fuckoff1689]

She kicked me out 3 months before our 11th anniversary, she knew I was going to propose. She changed her mind in the middle of the night, then again the following day. Then she asked me on a date a couple of weeks later and broke up with me for the third time afterwards. I've made just about every mistake you list in your videos. I last contacted her about a month ago asking if she could forward any mail that went to our house to me, she ignored me, and made a post about how men only try to fix a relationship when it's over. Haven't talked since. This is the first time I've been single since I was a teenager, and I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing. Your advice has been keeping sane.

[@VandalasG]

Be strong bro

[@zaxlandclearing]

Sounds similar to me

[@rhondavocht6129]

Thank you for breaking down each stage. Very helpful!

[@TrentAlexanderArnold66LFC]

Hi Lee. I just want to say you are an incredible person. You are helping so many people by reading the comments and lot of people are helped by your videos and on behalf of everyone thank you. We need more people like you in this world. I miss my ex but I’m going to try no contact and hope she comes back. We wasn’t toxic we was great but we began to bicker and some other problems, I was the main problem and I’m going to use this time to better myself and I promise to the world that I will fix my mistakes and if we ever get back together i wont allow myself to mess up again.

[@ashleighpercival3888]

Keep going. I was a bit needy when he got distant so can see why he ended it. Staying away deffo helps. Not just them but yourself too. I can see where I went wrong and even if he doesn’t come back I know I can be a better version of me. I second that thanks coach Lee xx

[@elroho24]

Coach Lee, I have lost all hope with my ex, unfortunately. She just went into a rebound relationship only 9 weeks after we broke up. She seems so happy and doesn't seem to care about me at all anymore and has moved on so quickly. I wish things were different, but your videos have taught me that all I can do, is all I can do.

[@djmir84]

Regain your identity, focus on bettering yourself in all aspects. If it doesn't work out, then it really wasn't meant to be. You owe it to yourself to be the best version of yourself. Right now it may seem that its impossible and difficult, but with time, you'll heal your heart. Just don't make the same mistakes in the future. Learn and grow. Stay strong !

[@joyhustles]

I wish I can subscribe more than once....you helped me during my dark days ...

[@throng5092]

Coach lee thank you it's been hard and you have no idea how much you have helped me and I can't imagine how many thousand you have helped you are an amazing person

[@massindinero7777]

It’s get better over time .. be strong

[@Mari-lv1rd]

I’ve learned so much, I never knew the psychology of relationships. I just thought friendship turned into love and most people were authentic and kind. Now I think selfish people have more satisfaction with their partner, life is just temporary and happiness depends on how you take care of yourself.

[@michaelsmooth1]

Actually don't want her back ! She wanted to come back I said no ! Took about 60 days but I'm good now. I didn't think it would change this fast but it's amazing, I stopped contacting them only responded when she texted me. Now she's crying wants me back. Nope if you can leave me once she can do it again. Thank you this was a blessing she did me a favor ! Coach Lee is the man ! He knows what he's talking about.

[@sloanmagnum5009]

Yup, they will always have one foot out the door, waiting for something better.

[@hadookin47]

Good job king 👑

[@ritikgupta7781]

Exactly, if they did it once, they will do it again

[@russellcameronthomas2116]

5 1/2 months since breakup, and 5 months of No Contact ("radio silence" since I'm not on any social media). She broke with me over text, adding that she wanted no further contact. After some research, I realized that she was Fearful Avoidant and that the trigger for her deactivation was hearing herself say "I love you. I'm not going anywhere". I have worked on myself and sought support from a coach, which has helped immensely. I suspect that she is in the Curiosity Stage, or something like that. We have seen each other five times since October in social events (dances, with 75 to 150 people). No more than eye contact or brief non-verbal acknowledgement. I don't go into her space and she keeps to herself. What's weird is that she never used to come to this dance event. It's farther for her to travel and she is skipping an alternative event that used to be one of her favorites. She now knows that is likely that I will be there, but she is also clearly not at ease around me. (She mostly dances by herself, so she is not showing off or obviously trying to get my attention.) I'm not sure what's going on. If I were in her shoes, and I wanted to avoid an ex- (been there, done that), I would just avoid this dance event and go back to the Old Favorite. Easy solution. Maybe someday I will hear the whole story. Maybe she has a bunch of mixed motives, including curiosity about how I am doing, and whether I am dancing close with other women (new girlfriend?). Maybe she wants to prove to herself that this doesn't bother her. Maybe she is hoping that I will approach her, initiate contact, or even beg and plead to get back together, so she can be in the power position again. Maybe she is even intending to initiate contact with me, but then chickens out when the opportunity arises. It doesn't really matter to me any more. I am indifferent about whether she contacts me or not. I'm not closed to the idea of getting back together, but we would need to start from scratch and I would need to know that she is on a healing path regarding Fearful Avoidance and related core wounds. So far, I don't see any signs that she has changed. Still, I wish her well.

[@diaryofseresha]

Bruh stop focusing on her n focus only on you, yourself in this time. Forget her. Something magically happens when u remove ur energy from them N they could literally sense that Meaning stop even giving them energy in your thoughts, completely cut down the energy supply N let karma do the rest💯 who ever leaves always come back around

[@russellcameronthomas2116]

@@diaryofseresha That is exactly what I have done. Moved on. See her in social events periodically, but no interaction beyond eye contact. It’s all in my past now.

[@ilianbojanov2957]

@@diaryofseresha This I think is very true, I feel it as if a voice inside me is telling me.

[@TheMisssy2]

I love you, you always make me feel better. I know we can not be back together, but I do want him to want me back. He does come back but he doesn't want to give any answers after 10 years, leaving me for someone else. Your videos help me not go crazy bat shit, when I want to.

[@updiizzo_clasy1166]

Today hits 1 year for me. 🎉

[@karlov13]

Good job Coach Lee

[@Davecastlez]

Going on about 4 months NC, she broke up with me over the phone LOL. it started with Im confused about my career, financially and you, just everything. She requested to give her a week of no contact and i did, then she stated that I had crossed boundaries (I didnt know what they were until she brought them up, didnt communicate them). Saw me in person, and didnt wanna break up with me, wanted to work it out. for about 2 weeks we texted back and forth, then out of nowhere, "We are not compatible, you crossed my boundaries" She did it over the phone, after 2 years together. Sucks, but as time goes by im learning it has nothing to do with me, it has everything with her. She has personal issues she needs to deal with. Will she come back? Who knows, and I guess time will tell but sticking to NC and discovering myself in this hard but rewarding journey of life.

[@oscargustaverejlander.]

Looking forward to the next video in this series.

[@makeupandbows]

Stay strong people. I’m on week 6 of break up and I went into no contact straight away. We were together for 4 years and was someone I thought I’d be with for the rest of our lives. He’s stalking all of my social media accounts but I’m now at the point where I’m not even sure I’d take him back if he asked. I was completely broken for the first 5 weeks and thought I’d never be able to move on. Coach Lee is right in everything he says but even if your ex doesn’t come back you will be ok.

[@jeffh6960]

If he does. Work on each other. Do you want to have the same stuff reoccur? Work on your relationship and value each other.

[@robinshankey2395]

How do you know he is stalking your social media ?

[@diaryofseresha]

@@robinshankey2395 must be watching stories, at sc, insta, fb, whatsapp etc. who ever sees ur story u can see them in ur views

[@bigchris32ful]

It’s been 14 months since she walked out and I miss her more than ever. Especially this time of the year ain’t going to be good. I am still doing No Contact but I know she is seeing someone !!😢😢

[@amnahaleem607]

It hurts but one should move on after all this time I guess. Life is beautiful without someone who isn't pushed about being in it anyways.

[@imyourwifesbigdsidepiece5048]

We’ve ALL been there. I had to watch an ex date someone new in front of my face bc we worked together. It was torture. But years later she matters nothing to me. The point is when we truly let go the universe will put someone else in your path. If you still hold on to the past you’ll miss everything in the present.

[@PATH918]

be strong and find someone who you deserve and learn from the best……

[@sloanmagnum5009]

This person you speak of is long gone. You do not love them, love is only idea in your mind that is supplimented by a chemical reaction which you have control over, you only think you love what could've been. You might need professional help. You may have an obsessive personality

[@LL_Vulture]

This video could not have come at a better time. It’s been an exact month now since our breakup, though she immediately had a rebound. Not sure how they delays things in the grand scheme, but safe to say I’m much closer to the curiosity stage now than before.

[@erik9135]

Good luck! I was dumped for someone else, who just dumped his gf. So a double rebound. Been in NC 6 months. She said she valued the friendship and had no hesitency to talking, but her actions tell the truth (shes not interested)

[@sloanmagnum5009]

She had sex with someone else and you're still interested in her?

[@gamerplayzz5973]

Well folks I'm 6 months and I feel amazing!. I've started seeing an old flame and my ex went mental with me. I've moved on and she told me her life isn't great and she been crying few times. I don't want her back and I'm focusing on myself and my career with NHS. Thank you coach Lee for all your guidance.

[@Arjunarjunskiy]

Is that some kind of affirmation?

[@PATH918]

For me, no contact means no contact. If I have the other person in my heart, I will contact him instead of waiting for him to contact me. True love gives people motivation and security instead of worrying about gains and losses all day long……❤

[@gabordudas5404]

Strong video. Thx Coach.

[@nate9579]

Loving this mini series. Thanks man

[@rosydonut]

He just wished me a happy birthday and asked me how I am. He sent it at 11:55pm so must have been back and forth on it all day. Fingers crossed he’s in the beginnings of the curiosity stage!

[@captainbligh3894]

So happy for you

[@sondraharris53]

Thank you, Coach Lee, for always holding our hands and guiding us through our heart breaks!

[@ChasityXoxo]

Coming up on a month of no contact! It’s lit 😂😂😂❤❤❤ I felt so much better after the first week. I only use no contact to take my power back

[@ChasityXoxo]

I blocked him on everything and he reached out to me on Pinterest to tell me happy birthday. I said thank you and blocked him on that as well. You did what you did I’m not interested anymore

[@bigchris32ful]

Thanks for that you’ve made me feel really great now. 😢😔😫

[@Sneakingmentor]

I feel educated after watching your videos. But i feel that i must be given another chance with my ex. But its not happening.

[@giovannipantorno884]

People if they do not thing everything right leave them and forget about them. Its been one month of no contact ive been dumped and I realize Im over it. relationships are fragile for a reason and easy to escape for a reason too.

[@lindseyhyde4000]

I feel so lost. My boyfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me 30 days ago. We were arguing more and a few other things. Nothing I didn't think we couldn't overcome. Obviously, I was devastated and blindsided by this. We were trying to have a baby and talked about marriage. So, regrettably, I begged for about 2 weeks after the breakup...on and off. Not until I came across your videos and started no contact. It's been 30 days since the breakup and about 2.5 weeks of no contact and no signs of him coming back. It's so hard. I really thought this was my person and we overcame so much to just end it over an argument. But I have to try and stay positive--that if they WERE MY PERSON, they would be here right now with me working it out with me. Thank you for your videos.

[@user-xv3zr4lm1j]

Mine left too after five years over an argument. I had to tell myself he wanted this and he’s been wanting this for some time. Men tend to hold things in. Not our fault. But his actions of messaging a coworker and getting a little too friendly with an 19 year old at the gym is why I confronted him. Thought we could overcome this as well. Funny my therapist told me how to handle it, and when I did exactly what he said and go about things the healthy way, I get dumped. So there’s no accountability. And you want a partner who will take accountability for hurting you and making you feel the way he does. And we too were looking at houses and talking about marriage. Even asked me what kind of ring I like. Said to me I was his person, wouldn’t be in this with anyone else, I’m the love of his life… he said all these things. I’m just as lost as you are. I’m sorry you’re going through this. But just know God always has a plan. Whether it be to help him realize what he lost, or you realize you can do better without him. ❤

[@gingerk.6792]

I’m going through the exact same situation as you are and it hurts beyond words. It’s been over a month now and I still haven’t heard not one word back from him. I’ve tried wholeheartedly to apologize via text. I’ve tried to call him and I left sincere apologies on his voice mail. I thought he would forgive me. I thought we could get through this and reconcile. We had a heated argument on the phone late at night the last time we spoke. I was really missing him and I really wanted to see him, but it was very late and he said he couldn’t come over and that’s when I got very angry with him and I was acting controlling on the phone and said disrespectful words to him. (No, he’s not married or in another relationship). We shared everything together and he said he would never leave me and that he would always love me. I don’t think I said anything that terrible to make him want to end our relationship. I’m so sorry for the way I spoke to him and I still love him very much. I don’t think no contact is working. It’s been over a month and I haven’t heard one word back from my boyfriend. I’m afraid I’ve lost him.

[@user-xv3zr4lm1j]

@@gingerk.6792 hey love, you seem like a vacillator and it sounds like you have an anxious attachment-style. Only saying this cause I too have called and texted none stop to get him to hear me. Also demanding he work it out. And I too have an anxious attachment style. He sounds like an avoider- which my ex is. And most men tend to be. Giving him space and not texting or calling is what is healthy for the both of you. He will come around but avoidant men need space and once you give it to them they have time to miss what they had. Also, instead of filling your mind with what is he doing, does he think of me, does he miss me, should I drive by his place kind of stuff, start watching attachment style videos and learn about yourself and your attachment style and his as well, to better communicate. Trust me you’ll be doing yourself a great service when knowing how to talk to someone with a different communication style and will teach you in the future how to deal with this in the next relationship, if he doesn’t come back, you’ll be healthier in what you do next time. Hope this helps. And remember, never chase a man who doesn’t want to be chased. Men are supposed to do the chasing not us. He wants out. Let him leave. The best thing to do out of love is let him believe that’s the best decision he’s made, once they realize they can’t find you in someone else they’ll reach out. Give it time love. ♥️

[@holagirl]

​@@gingerk.6792 Be strong! I did being avoidant against my boyfriend also over an argument. I apologize in few days and repeated after a month, a little interaction to his family until I found out hes going into rebound and now I stick to no contact, even to his families. Its been 2 months already no heard from him. Overtime im feeling comfortable by no contact, not gaining anything but I can feel that I dont beg and lower myself on him.

[@Cowkill]

My story : 13 years of relationship, including 7 years marriage. We got a little distant from each other the last years because I had tough times (burnout, then the death of my father, then changed career and focused on that). She kept saying everything was ok and that I needed to focus on that. This year she made a new group of friends (from work) and started seeing them a lot. Then I started to see strange behaviors. I confronted her with that and she admitted to have a romance with another man from this group for months and she couldn't cut ties with him (because I said that I would be able to forgive her if she wanted to work on our couple, but only if he disappeared from the equation). I said that I was her husband and surely not her backup plan or her "number 2". So we decided to divorce. We still live together because we need to sell the house and we still get along pretty well considering what she's done (I stayed extremely calm all along that it made her cry even more) but I've already announced our divorce to my family and our close friends. Also she is not well at all. She even distanced herself from close friends, she is overwhelmed at work and feel old/not desirable/so on. I really think she is depressed. What do you think of it ? It is hard to wrap my head around all of this.

[@r3d_ti3_guy]

Why do you want someone that doesn’t want you?

[@sloanmagnum5009]

Easy, let her go. It's over. Do your self a favor and move on. You know the answer to your own question

[@Cowkill]

@@r3d_ti3_guy That's a good question. It's hard to let go of a 13 years long relationship. Even more when you consider we barely had any fights and everything went extremely well till 2-3 years ago (and even here we didn't fight at all). And it was so out of character from her to do such a terrible thing. I'm letting go but I still have so many questions.

[@rafidalbotany1109]

Ik this might sound hard but just let her go know your worth man

[@bobaygaming1978]

I know it won’t be easy, especially the longer you’re with someone. But, you want someone that chooses you, no matter what you’re going through. The only way things will work is if she comes to it on her own. You then have the choice whether you want to give her a second chance or not. It’s up to you in the end.

[@SheilaTillaboeva]

Смотрю все видео тренера Ли на постоянной основе. Я в NC с тех пор как муж в середине ссоры ударил меня и решил расстаться, пошло около 2 недель и он пишет моим братьям, спрашивая где я и чем занимаюсь. Хочу чтобы вы пожелали мне сил и удачи, что я смогла решиться подать на развод. Вы делаете огромную и полезную работу помогая людям восстановить свой mindset и свое разбитое сердце 🫠💕

[@oralriffey8285]

I am beginning to think that all of these games are not worth the trouble. After 25 years I never expected to walk in on my wife with the next door neighbor. It"s just not worth it. Goodbye!!

[@gracelikerain5039]

Yeah wow hell no

[@christianbarboza1074]

That’s awful. 😞

[@jwhaynesify]

Wow the “getting mad” part Coach mentioned at the end makes me finally feel seen. It’s a fuckin mind trip to go from begging her to reconcile, being told no a thousand different ways, to then going no contact and she’s now angry at me for giving her what she literally petitioned through the court to have happen? What does it all mean! If it wasn’t for my two wonderful kiddos I’d pray for god to make me gay, I’m tired of trying to figure out how women think

[@Littleman809]

im gay and trust me same thing happens to gay men, we all must endure this suffering haha

[@gingerk.6792]

It's been over a month since my boyfriend of a year and I got into a heated argument and he hung up on me. It was my fault. I was speaking angrily and disrespectful to him. I have reached out and texted him and sincerely apologized. I have tried to call and speak with him, but he is ignoring me. I don't think no contact is working. It's been over a month now and I haven't heard back from him. I really love him and I hope that we can reconcile & he will forgive me. It's easier said then done to just be able to walk away and forget about someone you truly love and want to be with.

[@jameschen7553]

You the best, and right and do help me and others thank you

[@jameschen7553]

So I was trying to repair the relationship in no contact stage, but after couple of months I lost interest in her, and even if she come back I don't want relationship , also I need to know if the person who betrayed once can they be forgiven or leave them what is your opinion

[@jannlewandowski5540]

jameschen7553. I'm happy no contact worked for you. It makes you think about what you really want. The other situation is up to you, depending on what they did. My personal opinion on CHEATING is I would never take a CHEATER back. They can do it again. James, everyone is different. Follow your GUT feeling. Your heart. I wish you the best of luck. We are ALWAYS here for you.❤

[@hiram7474]

My ex wife started seeing someone else. Hurts like hell. Maintains no contact but I’m mostly feeling sick . Hoping her new love interest fails, but then I take it back. The right thing is to wish her the best.

[@lubaerickson7365]

Thank you❤❤❤

[@SkullObsessed69]

If they come back and you're not doing good, you aren't ready for it

[@kayliegil8018]

Thank you for everything

[@RealCoachLee]

I appreciate it Kaylie! Thank you!

[@user-hz3ol2ov9g]

Im so confused. Broke up with my ldr girlfriend 3 months ago. Wanted no contact for a while but she wanted to be friends. Sometimes she tells me she has nearly ask me back a few times. Others she disappears for 4 days. I didnt contact her for 4 days and she text at 3am saying we should delete our communication app. Then i replied and she has disappeared

[@handelnuremberg8757]

I knocked him out of his curiosity stage it seems... he started liking my posts and stories and watching them... (I didn't react and have unfollowed him for a few months) and now he only watches some of my stories... no reach out...

[@etheljudge]

This is so helpful!! Thank you !

[@BridgetteBentley]

So when they’re checking our social media should we hide them from our stories? Unfollow them? Should I remove his access to my life or let him see how well I’m doing without him? I haven’t done any direct contact with him nor has he

[@user-vk7zw4vw2o]

This is so true. Can u make a video bout how no contract wen it's a child together

[@theartofstephaniahnalah]

My ex has wished me a happy birthday- messages me almost every day, spent an hour talking to me when he came to grab his stuff. He also asked me to sing on his album but he hasn’t hit on me. He has said he wants to be friends n invited me to his show. I’m just playing it cool , I’m not initiating, but I’m being polite. At this point idk if I want him back.

[@maeshelley3154]

I have been doing so well in no contact until today. He has reached out to me a few times (impersonal messages) to which I responded politely, no more. Last night the area my ex lives in was hit with severe storms, several friends in that area reporting trees down, damaged roofs and flooding, etc. He lives alone in the middle of 3 acres of woods all around and no near neighbors. I know how he thinks and it would seem cold to not check on him, we both always text our friends to check on them. So I sent him (and several friends) a text "Checking to see if you and (dog) are ok after those storms in your area? Stay safe." How badly have I damaged "no contact"? Did I do the wrong thing?

[@asteroida3538]

You rock

[@gillnihal32]

She is already been dating past past two months with the person she’s called me multiple times while she was with him, drunk and cried, saying how she missed me, but then when she is sober, she doesn’t feel the same way. I don’t know if I should keep waiting for her or really just let it go. She was my first relationship so it’s hard we used to be on and off a lot but she would always come back to me.

[@JustMe-ki3ce]

Some of us were dating avoidants. Left no choice once you’ve been made to feel insignificant…. I dumped him but I’m the one severely heartbroken…

[@BethC_1995]

42 Days no contact! I'm so close to breaking, but i've seen some of the signs. He's been mirroring my posts on snapchat, wherein he left me some jealousy bait(how lovely of him!). I heard this through my brother- cause i'm ignoring them all.- He watches all my stories and posts where he knows I can see; he never uses Instagram but he's started posting happy stuff there, as i've unfriended him on Facebook. He's bread crumbing me so hard, and I feel like i'm about the break! 😢 I feel like he's wanting my attention, and i feel weak. Damn. I feel like he'll never reach out himself, i always do the fixing...

[@MicahAlbert-hl9du]

You are doing great! It is so hard to keep going when you can just think that reaching out will fix things. Some are a lot harder to learn than others. Some people are very toxic and selfish in relationships. They want all the fun but put the hard work and the guilt of failure on you! Of course no one likes to do all the work. No one likes to be the problem. That is why if you keep fixing it for him, he will never learn the error of his ways and change And you will be forever miserable. I am saying all this for myself as well. Went NC for 9 months before she reached out on my birthday. And didn't say she missed me just said I could call her if I wanted to talk. Leaving it all on me to come running back and fix again. Take all the blame. I don't want to go back to that. I want a good relationship even though I miss her so much and feel like Im going to give in. I need to do it so that if we get back together the relationship is better and stronger this time. Don't want to go back to the same old cycle. We were together for almost 7 yrs. Insanely close and knew everything about one another. I expect she's been with at least 3 guys since me. One I know of for sure and the thoughts destroy my mind ...but I still love her. Stay strong!!!!

[@basicinfo2022]

It's exhausting especially as a woman to be in the masculine role of pursuing and initiating. Stay in your feminine role of receiving and attracting. You want a masculine man who leads and is courting you. He sounds like a feminine man and immature man who needs growing to do still. How will he ever propose if he cant even message you first to reconcile. If you desire a masculine man, do nothing...

[@PB-md3nt]

I'm on day 42 right at this moment. I have had twinges the past 24 hours or so, but I know I went four months before with her and she reached out in the so-called sweet spots of days 45-60 a few times. I am NOT going to make contact with her, and honestly I'm fine if I don't hear from her again at this point.

[@PB-md3nt]

@@basicinfo2022 Coach Lee says it's the role of whoever dumped is the one that needs to initiate contact, and or pursuing. If the woman was the dumper, it's the woman that needs to at least come back and begin the talks.

[@BethC_1995]

@@PB-md3nt I decided to reach out after 4 months as Coach Lee suggested. We had contact for about a month and then he told me he was seeing someone randomly. -I decided then and there i'd had enough(He did it late one night, when he knew I was having a good time with my friends-for the first time in awhile), I blocked him everywhere and I deleted his number. I think he purposefully tried to hurt me and hanging on was keeping me trapped in hell. I'm not happy at the mo, but i'm going to try dating again. I'm done with him.

[@tjsharpgirl8060]

It’s been two weeks since I have heard from him. And I texted him every day. So yesterday I started no contact and I blocked him on Facebook. Do you think I waited to long to start no contact?

[@joejohn4935]

What should i do if her parents forced her to break up with me and forced NC between us? Ive done some pretty bad stuff over the past 3 years but its nothing that couldnt be fixed. Some how her parents convinced her i was no good and move to a different state :/ What can i do...?

[@goldy140]

Whats the next stage? Do u have a video for the next step?

[@thehunter3885]

Does these things apply to situationships as well?? I had a situationship with a girl that was going soo well, all of a sudden she asked to split, i convinced her for a while but she's ghosting me rn by not answering nor watching my stories, we've been off contact for like 4 days now, what should i do rn, would appreciate anyone's help.

[@KamimasterTF]

So i was blocked by my ex and she said its enough i dont want to be with you anymore a month passes and she unblocks me, after one week she follows me, now just waiting what will happen

[@Lexo593]

Thanks coach! Quick question, during N.C I unfriended her from all social medias, been in N.C for 2m, is it better to tighten up all the privacy settings so that they don't see any updates at all? Or should I allow them to see certain things?

[@sloanmagnum5009]

I think you should go completely dark. Absolutely cut all communication including social media and what they can see and who they can talk to that yoi both know.

[@dannycolwell8028]

The guy my ex monkeybranched to got a lip tattoo that says “suh dude.” Yeah, classy, have fun with that, lady 😂😂😂😂

[@RealCoachLee]

😳😳🤣

[@valianthousemusic1026]

i reached out after two months of NC to say sorry for the ugly breakup, now im in month 4 better than ever, but now i wonder if it was the right move to apolagise, maybe she would have reached out by now if i didnt break NC, but at the same time after i had said sorry she told me she had no hard feelings and i started to feel alot better.

[@erik9135]

Broke up 6 months ago, 4 months of full NC. She said she valued the friendship, I said it was dumb we werent in contact. No response. Use no contact to heal. My life is so much better. Currently considering unfollowing her on social media...because she left me for someone else and still refuses to fix things on a basic level.

[@user-rb3pw4rx8i]

Hi and thanks a lot Coach Lee! You help a lot. I wish I saw it before cause the first week I tried like 2 to get her back even wrote a letter! Now im in no contact for 13 days tho after a okayish talk on instagram about her cat. Anyway, what I wanna know is if I should post Instagram stories with other girls or one girl. Will jealousy make it better or worse? And the question is, how can I know that she does not think/know i only do it to get her back or make her jealous? There is many coaches and websites saying different things. Some say post stories with girls it helps a lot other say its the worst thing you can do.

[@Hiimarob]

Coach Lee says in some of his other videos that that isn’t really the best thing to do because you don’t know how your ex will react. You don’t know if they’ll be like oh he moved on already so easily I’m just not even going to try anymore and then they move on completely

[@imyourwifesbigdsidepiece5048]

If you post things on insta that are out of the norm your ex will know it’s only to make them jealous.

[@RealCoachLee]

The reason that people respond so vastly differently to pictures of their ex with members of the opposite sex is why I say not to do that until you are truly ready to move on.

[@JBuenoVerse]

Can someone tell me if it's possible to still get my ex back after no contact if I logged into her Instagram account, which I know it's an invasion of privacy, but her info was saved on my pc before even the break up and I couldn't resist the temptation and found out that she was talking to another guy, which happens to be a guy a met in Miami , which we live in Pennsylvania and he keeps trying to visit her and she was all into it like "baby when you visiting me" she sent me screenshots to prove that he did not come here, but she was doing this to get over me according to her that it wasn't serious, but to me is her actions that count. I then rejected her and played the reverse card on her and haven't talked to her since it's been about two weeks. I was respectful and will she come back with no contact after all this?

[@ririsharon4652]

He told me that he'll not be available for a while after an argument. I respected his wishes and gave him space. I reached out to him after a week to know what was going on. He texted that it's over. I told him to tell that to me on face and he declined. He's been so mean. I'm in third month of breakup. I reached out to him thrice in 2 months. The last time I texted him was when he left my stuff with the guard. I sent him angry texts. Couldn't control my emotions. That was 2 weeks ago. All the times that I've reached out in last two months were angry texts. This is the 3rd month and I'm hurting more than ever. There is resentment and anger but I do miss that person. NC works. It worked for me with the same person. I don't think it's going to work for me this time around. He should have given in by now.

[@jannlewandowski5540]

rirus, First of all, STOP pleading with him bcse it makes you look weak. Just from your comment, it sounds like he lost attraction for you. He could have met someone new, or just got tired of the relationship. Go NO Contact with him and don't contact him in any way. I hope it works out for you. ❤

[@Kb11466]

I got chucked after 3 years roughly over a WhatsApp message out of the blue. We went back and forth a little where she insisted we should still be friends as we still care for each other. I did oblige initially but found it too painful to keep clutching to it all. I went no contact a week ago and was met with angry messages about how I can’t be bothered to message and how rude I am!! Any advice I’m continuing to not reply as I just want to move on and forget asap.

[@FarkasRenata-lp4tr]

After the break-up I've asked him to block me on social media, so that it's easier for me. He's not able to see anything about me. He won't unblock me as I requested it. He's in a rebound relationship now. Earlier I chased him, begged etc.. but I suddenly stopped and went no contact. How will curiosity or anything else work in this case? We had a 5 years relationship with very strong bond, but distance and lot of external circumstances caused a lot of stress, and he got "emotionally tired", although we still love each other (he said that).

[@TheMisssy2]

He breadcrumbed me big time using my discount card at a store because he is the only one that has the code, I know he wanted me to call...and make life easy for him.

[@user-vd6bx8ni9v]

He blocked me for 15 months, and then 5 weeks ago he unblocked me, I thought we'd both moved on, I'm staying no contact, he done thus, it's up to gim to fix it , if it means anything, even just friends. He hasnt reached out yet.

[@Rlvpb]

So how long or approximately does each stage last for both parties?

[@kheicee]

18th day of NC. the pain is unbearable. i dont think he’s ever coming back in my life. he’s not reaching out and i dont think he will. i just pray for my heart to heal and accept that its over.

[@Chris_8]

Just be patient, remember, no contact is for you to heal and move on from the past. Not to win the person. You just gotta move on and continue on with your life. Let no contact do its thing

[@SurajMishra-wg9rx]

NC is for you not for him to bring him back but it is for you to heal

[@b-mharriethaake5449]

Can this happens later with an ex? If you have kept some contact for years because of your feelings and then stop?

[@Anthony_st8te]

Hey Coach lee I have a question, what if you broke your exes trust and lied to them and cheated, should I still do no contact and wait for them to reach out to me or should I reach out to them.I’ve done no contact for 11 months and they haven’t reached out I’m really confused

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Anthony_st8e If you lied to her and cheated, chances are she lost trust in you. Also, 11 months is a long time, so I would not count on it. When you love someone, you don't lie or cheat. You really hurt her, and that's why you probably won't hear from her. If you want to call her, so be it..

[@mariia7044]

What if my ex is asking to go out during no contact period? I know what to do if he texts or calls, but should I go out with him if he wants? He hugs me often and wants intimacy, saying how good I am and beautiful, buying me things. But he doesn't want relationships. Should I reject him? I am so confused. We were together for 8 years.

[@basicinfo2022]

8 years dating him and now he's downgrading you into a FWB? So selfish and disrespectful of him. He's stopping you from going no contact and moving on to a man who wants the same things as you. Call his bluff and go no contact again.

[@typicalsigmamale4908]

Been in no contact for 13 month now. 2 Month after breakup she got together with her bestfriend, they are still together. Lost all hope but still miss her.

[@Goku19170]

I stayed no contact with her for atleast 3 weeks then she reached out to me saying i found my self then i said call me she was saying i wont go against my parents she was giving me cold behaviour and then she said i love u and letting you go 😢😢 she just remembered our bad memories i treated her like that all those stuffs she didnt remeber our happy memories we alwasys fight on chat but were happy when we meet should i stay in no contact for 2nd time im too confused tell me plz yeah im working on myself but sometimes i remeber her 😢 she also said me on text she wont comeback ever again😢

[@mxlx95]

What are the stages of no contact for cases in which your partner was hurt or you damaged their trust, and they felt they had to let you go? I think its a bit different than the typical "gradual loss of emotional attraction" because everything was good until that moment

[@jannlewandowski5540]

mxlx95, in all honesty, every situation is different. Yours is no different than if the situation were reversed. Go NO Contact and see what happens in due time. Good luck to you.

[@sloanmagnum5009]

How did you damage your partners trust?

[@Real_Talk_and_Tea_with_Trissy]

I have been in no contact for 3 weeks. He reached out because our birthday is coming up. His birthday is the day before mine. He sent a text in the middle of the night to " remind me"... I guess as if I don't know when my birthday is? Which is crazy 🤣. When I didn't respond he waited a hour and called me. I didn't answer. I felt that it was too late at night. So the next day I replied with a thanks and that's it. Haven't returned his call. Staying in no contact. This happened last weekend. So far so good 😊

[@VandalasG]

After two weeks of NC she texted me random message. Like coach Lee said I texted back random short answer. Damn it hurts. I will not give up.

[@flowershoneysunshine]

Did she respond?

[@duan_meixuan]

My ex liked one of my posts about twenty days after I told him I didn't want friendship (the latter of which happened a month after the breakup). He also still follows me. But that post was about a month ago. Not sure what to make of him liking it.

[@localbreadyboy401]

We broke up 3 months ago, we had 2 month long talking stages and after the second ended she just stopped talking to me and blocked me everywhere. She keeps posting stuff on her story on the one thing I can see. I pushed no contact 16 days ago and so far shes reached out but it was just to cause more drama. I'm struggling to keep no contact but I know its my only chance if I want her back.

[@stargazey0]

What if my ex (who broke up with me) asked for no contact? We were in a very loving 5 year relationship but struggled with conflicts/communication. She said she still loved me but needed to break up and asked for no contact for 6 months to get over me and that she would like to be friends after that time has passed. Do people still feel the absence even if they were the one to put NC into place?

[@nicoletter.6616]

lol are we the same person?

[@simrankhanna4781]

I've been watching your videos since last month and I can't believe how PEACEFUL it is to follow your advices, my ex broke up with me cause his parents don't approve of me. We were really really happy together and in love and he said it is the hardest thing he ever had to do. Should i lose my hope or is there any chance?

[@catdev587]

If he is listening to his parents now imagine if you marry this momma's boy. His parents will sabotage your marriage. Let him go........💜

[@sloanmagnum5009]

Why don't his parents approve of you?

[@simrankhanna4781]

@@sloanmagnum5009 caste issues... we both love each other but he is scared about the future.. what if we don't end up with each other? Like that

[@sloanmagnum5009]

@@simrankhanna4781 I'm sorry about that. That's an unfortunate situation to be in.

[@amitgandhi90]

The boy is lying & not interested in you. The love he showed is all fake. Bcoz if he really wanted to marry u he could have easily convinced his parents. Neither he can convince nor he can marry u without their wish... wat kind of cheap & worthless love it is... absolutely fake.

[@doubleJJ01]

My ex is tooo stubborn, I don't know if we can even fixed anything, cuz I tried my best to make her understand but it's useless and it's really frustrating, even if she comes back I'm not sure if I can even fixed anything with her, I doubt that , she's self centered stubborn human u can ever meet

[@lmfisher650]

Well my husband cheated on me emotionally with the coworker and then it turned physical after i left him. He apparently was having 'bad days' early on and felt like he 'lost everything' but now he seems to be smitten with her only 12wks after i left. He is moving closer to her and their work without any remorse. I think they are together but not announced yet. They were having sleep overs and weekends away recently. He doesn't think of me at all. I'm used rubbish to him. I don't think he is going through these stages exactly as written.

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Imfisher650, I am so sorry to hear that. I can recommend Coach Lee's mini course which is absolutely free of charge. It will help you. You are not alone. myexbackcoach.com/hope-for-marriage Just sign onto the link. Good luck to you.❤

[@tena2013]

I actually deactivated my Instagram (most used social media). She used to message me there and I learned through a friend that she was asking what happened with me when she noticed it was gone. I dont really know if that's a good sign. She left me right after Thanksgiving and I haven't been contacting her directly unless it was matter of fact things like getting her off my phone plan