The No Contact Rule After A Breakup

[@Aiden_crisp]

“It’s not the absence of your presence, but it is the presence of your absence.” I love that

[@SonPham-ts5gc]

Same shit

[@emanueltavares353]

​@@SonPham-ts5gc😂

[@CoachKen]

"...you aren't trying to force them." Not only do you not need to stay where you aren't wanted - you don't need to be where you aren't enthusiastically embraced

[@o0oStillWeRiseo0o]

Coach Ken, I’m the dumpee. We work in same building and she doesn’t want it to be weird and still just be friends. Is it wise to go nc even if we see each other every day?

[@o0oStillWeRiseo0o]

🙏🏾

[@dreambeliever3652]

That’s exactly it. 16 years married and my wife has zero respect nomatter how much I’ve tried and pulled back. Just done dealing with it

[@GinNBoost]

Love your videos Coach Ken. You and Coach Lee are the GOATs of relationship recovery.

[@bobbooey45]

@@o0oStillWeRiseo0oNEVER accept the friend zone. She doesn’t get to have her cake and eat it too. She doesn’t get to chose the type of access she has to you.

[@Markiesharkie72]

Go no contact and remain calm people - remember, silence is golden and disappear out of their lives - believe in yourself.

[@robturner7024]

What if she is my next door neighbor and have to see her constantly

[@DaveHowardSchiff-xe1xm]

​@@robturner7024 move to another neighbourhood, no ifs, no buts...

[@adamholgate2882]

This man has saved so many lives.

[@davidallahgod3217]

*HELLO COACH* 3year relationship, was in love Ex broke up with me by calling the cops, I never contacted the ex ever again! When you get betrayed by someone calling the authorities on you, You will always be sleeping with one eye open, if you go back!

[@hddwd8006]

The best revenge for someone ghosted or blocked you is to give them no reaction and Walk away, and take your energy back to yourself and leave them trying to figure out your silence and wondering if you've ever loved them!

[@misshairpassionista8378]

Best revenge is no revenge at all. Having no need to do so because you have healed, grown and have become the better version of yourself. Moving on with any remaining bitterness or resentment still gives them rent-free space in your life. Aim to remove that room in your life and be filled with inner peace and inner joy of who you want to become moving forward.

[@dekai8415]

Indeed there is no greater display of power and self worth than walking away. But you have to mean it and never look back unless they reach out to you. Whenever your dignity and self respect is falling apart then you can regain it by walking away once and for all. If they reach out to you then now the power is in your hand whether to consider them or not.

[@RealDeme]

why would you want to hurt someone who you once loved?

[@hddwd8006]

@@RealDeme I haven't even hurt him , he ghosted me and I just didn't question it, like asking him what happened and why did you do that to me ..I just ignored that and moved on with my life !

[@basharalbutseggs8056]

@@RealDemewhy would they wanna hurt you?

[@SirLancelotXII]

WOW, cant believe its been 7 months. October was the day of our breakup, I've watched Coach Lee on a daily basis while my crying ass off, sleepless nights and this channel helped me calmed down, take control of what I can do, focus everyday on me. Listen to what he says, The situation may vary differently on all of us, but for me, It worked. We got Back at December, no tricks, no manipulation. Everything that he said is true. Calm Down Trust the Process and Focus on you and Let the Chips fall where they may. Thanks Coach Lee! Praying for all of you who are going thru this Gutwrenching scenario.

[@SonPham-ts5gc]

bc their new lovers dumped them. They will leave you again when they can find a new and more attractive than you. They already betrayed you they will do the same in the future. FAKE HAPPYNESS NOW CRY LATER. IF THEY FOOL YOU ONE SHAME OF THEM, IF THEY FOOL YOU TWICE FOOL OF YOU. DON'T BE STUPID AGAIN.

[@lukeowen7575]

Thank you for this. I needed to hear it

[@movingsaudade6028]

No contact has worked for me. It helped speed up my healing process and save my dignity. You can't humiliate and embarrass yourself by doing nothing .😂😂😂😂Im walking with my head held high, knowing that i did not dragg my dignity in the mud trying to hold on to my ex...Go no contact you will thank yourself.I realised that my ex was not worth it.😂😂😂I dodged a bullet.

[@comfortzone5618]

No contact is so hard!!! I am praying I get through it.

[@FranciscoPerez-k6x]

​​@@comfortzone5618its very very hard but it will get easier each day that passes trust me im at 60 days and getting stronger trust in yourself

[@ninabutler128]

U will ​@@comfortzone5618

[@techonsitemobile]

NC worked for me. Not to get back with my ex. NC worked for me to get over my ex. I found coach lees videos shortly after my breakup in Aug 2022. 2 yrs almost NC and I’m emotionally detached now from my ex. I still watch the videos even tho I have no hopes of getting my ex back. I don’t want her. I don’t even like her no more. Thanks coach lee for your help in helping me break free from the hurt and pain that was in front of me at that time but not anymore

[@sloanmagnum5009]

Why do you say " I still watch the videos even tho I have no hopes of getting my ex back".? Do you mean you have no hope your ex will ever come back. Or, do you mean you have no desire for them anymore even if they did come back? I'm just curious

[@movingsaudade6028]

​@@sloanmagnum5009he said he doesn't want her....

[@dropdeadbeb9646]

you can always watch these videos even though you've already moved on. it is reminder for us to be strong fo this kind of situation

[@danicrzzz8694]

The fact u are still watching this video... says something

[@sabelaxx2]

Keep going strong I've been doing no contact for two months now I have no intentions nor interest to reach out to my ex don't even want a friendship with them. I really want to just heal myself and let them go, they're not the person for me soon they're realize what they've lost

[@PrashantSingh-rp6mf]

No contact is the only option. It sucks, but it is what it is. You wake up to the feeling of not being able to talk to the most special person you have/had in your life. The feeling of them not being there with you just sucks life out of you. But with time, a month or two, it starts getting easier and you will blossom again.

[@speechiecrossing]

next month will be 6 months of no contact. im in acceptance that he is gone forever. while it still hurts just as much as it did after day 1... im proud of myself that i decided to just let him go and have the breakup. thank you coach lee! your videos got me through some really tough and emotional times

[@russellcameronthomas2116]

Good for you. I'm at 11 months of No Contact, 12 months since the breakup. The daily pain mostly faded away after 4 months, and gradually found my center again. I have seen her 10 times in social setting (dance) but nothing more than brief eye contact. One year anniversary brought up more memories and feelings, but I just allowed them to flow and processed them. Allowing myself to cherish the positive memories and experiences because I co-created them. But I have moved on energetically and emotionally. Been dating since Month 5. Your grieving process will be your own and will unfold in its own time. I hope you are able to care for yourself during NC, including simple things like exercise and time with your close friends, or pursuing new interests.

[@jaydub7386]

No contact ALWAYS works. It just might work in a way you didn't expect. They could come back. You could move on. You could rise, you could fall.

[@jayday187]

I'm almost a year in NC with my dumper, it made me reflect on my past and I just reached out to my prior ex the other day. Gave her that "aha my ex finally contacted me" moment considering she's getting married soon. Had no intention of getting back with her, and she's doing well and we both wished each other the best. For her it was 3 years to finally hear back from me, so NC does work in ways you don't expect, and in the journey you're growing as a person.

[@Chloeeee2215]

@@jayday187 did you reach out to her after the initial breakup? If not, why didn’t you contact her

[@sloanmagnum5009]

​@@jayday187that doesn't sound like breaking no contact after 3 years. That's sound like typical reminiscing about old times. I think that's different

[@josephdelgadillo4493]

No contact absolutely works you just have to have patience, they think they have the power over you by dumping you but you need to remember there is only one you and you cannot be replaced!!!

[@xan3775]

I tried the no contact rule. It's been fifteen days, he came back to tell me that he missed me (and I didn't reply). I honestly don't like the way he treated me, but I struggle to come to terms with the fact that from the beginning he wasn't the type of man I expected and I should have trusted my gut feeling. I guess I'm just having trouble forgiving myself. I started to watch your videos to get him back, and now I'm realizing I don't want that. It's hard. I'll update next month, for whoever is in a similar situation. Let's get out of this together :)

[@xan3775]

@@noahnesambi9845 Hi! Still doing no contact, it's been around two weeks since he stopped texting me after I left him on read like three times lol. I can tell you I'm doing much better, still thinking of him everyday unfortunately but it does get better! I did block his social media so I wouldn't see his life, that helps a lot.

[@booksofsunflower]

Hi any update?

[@leeapple1531]

if there's already so much red flag.. trust me break up is the best solution better than being settled and regretting it after you have kids 😅😢

[@MehakMalhotra-qx9eh]

11days no contact no reply from him

[@matthewcarrillo1951]

This dude never ages dawg😂😂😂

[@gokuwufei99]

Coach went no contact and found the fountain of youth 😂😂😂

[@desleybarker4748]

Agree💯

[@rogue_spirit]

He pulled the no contact method against aging! 😂

[@itme7297]

😂😂😂

[@honeymyprincess]

😂😂😂

[@Davecastlez]

It has been about 6 1/2 months for NC, never tried to contact her or reach out. As coach Lee says the dumper has to break the NC. at first I was anxious if she was coming back or not. Now im slowly starting to fee like myself again. Im becoming a better and healthier version of myself, thank you Coach Lee. I can truly say Im slowly finding my true self.

[@FTBALLSTAR04]

I miss you but I miss me more. I love you but I need to love myself. I don't want to live with out you but I did before. Time will take me forward one day at a time.

[@o0oStillWeRiseo0o]

Glad Coach Lee doesn’t recycle old content, and evolves with the landscape

[@sloanmagnum5009]

This is either an older video or a Video he has definitely convered in the past.

[@o0oStillWeRiseo0o]

@@sloanmagnum5009 He’s a relationship coach of course he’s covered the topic, but new information comes out. It’s a fast paced world you have to stay on top of what’s happening there is new gems in this one

[@o0oStillWeRiseo0o]

@@sloanmagnum5009 You don’t get it. This topic has been covered tons of tines, but there’s different nuances to the subject that need updating and refreshing. The older videos are gems, but you’re missing out on key points if you don’t stay current.

[@idekcommenter]

we are back in contact after 4 months no contact , we talk everyday and she initiates every call and conversation, she told me she left the rebound because of how he acted, and she realised love with me flowed and felt unconditional. we plan on meeting soon 🙏

[@-Wreckanize-]

Don’t be someone’s second option.

[@azazel3944]

let her work hard to have you.

[@Troy12-fitnessmodel]

Let her do all the work. Your not a second option your the prize. Be strong

[@stis9117]

@@-Wreckanize-He’s not…

[@sloanmagnum5009]

Yikes. I think You're making a mistake. But, to each their own

[@danieltrottier8599]

Rejection breeds obsession. Find your purpose ❤

[@HaikesXO]

I’m 31 years old and I’ve been through various relationships throughout my life. I can say with certainty everything in this video is spot on. It was such a hard concept for me to grasp in my late teens and honestly until my late 20s. When you finally have clarity on situations, you will see no contact is the best chance

[@dgutierrez104]

This video helped sooo much. A little over a week into my break up. Pain still hurts every day. But im barely starting to eat again and sleep again

[@Accco-mufc]

I feel you mate . Keep your head up you’ll be good from me to you . 👊🏽

[@oscarsanglay5983]

Being silent and Nc is louder

[@zy1242]

no contact really works guys!!! it did. my ex meet up after a year of no contact, followed every coach lee's advice, we have a good time when we met again, hopefully i didn't do too much. let's see what will happen 🤞 we agreed to meet again

[@ui4lh]

update?

[@Sllihulkgaming]

5 days no contact im hopin my ex comes back too

[@earmsyify]

Try to resist the urge to soothe anxiety by watching no contact videos all the time only in hopes of your ex coming back. Please don’t make the same mistake as me and prolong your grief. Truly do NC for yourself and try to improve anyway you can and let things play out how they will. I know it’s hard to do but please try.

[@peterpiper6878]

Agreed. Jocko says this, move on and don't look back. It's the only way to have a shot. It's the only move for a shot. Also if you have that mind set you are really trying to move on and probably will which is also good. Tate says sacrifice your Queen. May fail bit It's only way to possibly make a huge comeback.

[@donovanlemos]

So I'm going round to all Coaches videos to post my experiences. I have had NC work twice. First was a month before I got the message from her. The second was 2 months, and she went into a rebound, didn't last long at all... I was in NC now again, and just this afternoon I got a message from her, with a classic "Are you alive?" 😂 This one has been 3 weeks. I fell off the face of the planet and it clearly works. Guys, stay strong, listen to Coach Lee and Coach Ken. They know what they are talking about. They are 100% accurate. And it does work, either way. Thanks Coach for keeping us people falling apart in one peace and giving us hope and strength in our suffering. What you guys do is priceless!

[@DavidAcheson-ue4ut]

Thank you, coach Lee after using the no contact my ex called me 8 days later, and she wants to start over and fresh. I will keep watching your videos because they're so much good information. Thank you once again.

[@Sllihulkgaming]

Im hopin and pray to God that this happens to me as well ita been 5 day no contact

[@Stacy449]

Omg! After 7 months of religiously watching and following your videos, I just got a message from him today. He asked for forgiveness! It feels vindictive, but now the new challenge of setting boundaries is on the horizon.

[@Troy12-fitnessmodel]

Nice one coach thanks for all your videos. They were a god send when I was a mess 5 months ago. I'm now 5 months NC after 8 years together and in a much better place. I succumbed to the realisation the NC rule is for me and not her. I've refound myself and healed. I do still miss her but I wish her the best of luck in life. Thanks again for helping someone during a painfully difficult breakup who handled it like a gent by going NC day 1. I wish I'd be writing here as a success story to reclaim our relationship but I've reclaimed myself. Best of luck for anyone going through a breakup. It's tough but you'll get through it.

[@jacqiv3019]

Thank you so much, coach Lee. it worked! Mine back after 31 days of NC. She came with a small chit-chat at first, until she confessed that she missed me a lot and apologized me for everything that she had done to me. But i remember your words that i should take it one day at a time. Excuse my bad English (it's not my primary language) but i wanna thank you for all of your golden advice. You can do it too guys, Trust the process of NC, i know that it hurts a lot, but stay focused on yourself and your goals. 💪

[@sloanmagnum5009]

Apologized for everything? Was it that bad? Do you think your ex has changes in that short amount of time?

[@Sllihulkgaming]

I cant wait this happen to me im in 5 day no contact rn

[@jamesmilka9174]

Please listen to this man. Not only does it make sense, but twice this has worked for me. This most recent time she wants me back after 14 days. The first time I did not leave her alone and begged like an idiot. I sent all of these stupid emotional messages. Then I started watching coach Lee, I went no contact and in about 6 months she came back. It is a powerful position to be in. I was very confident this time. So happy, sorry for rambling. It really does work folks Update - She has proposed to me and we are getting Married 😂 the same night she came back! I understand that this must be a rare situation but this time she really must have been afraid to lose me during no contact!

[@Sllihulkgaming]

I want this bro been 5 day no contact ive been askim God to give me a good good sign

[@jamesmilka9174]

@@Sllihulkgaming the sign will come with time and patience my friend. Good luck

[@Sllihulkgaming]

@@jamesmilka9174 thank you. Plz pray for me

[@Sllihulkgaming]

@@jamesmilka9174 hopin she gon reach out asap

[@Sllihulkgaming]

@@jamesmilka9174 thank u im tryin to ignore her now we met yesterday. I gotta move on hopin she comes back to me

[@tylermccree9619]

The real key to no contact, is that while you are absent and giving them time to miss you, you are taking that time to get back to or become even better than the you that they will miss. They’re not going to miss the you that you become once things aren’t going well. And you aren’t going to be capable of being the you that they will eventually miss, while you are panicking and stressing and crying or whatever. They will miss the you that attracted them. And every time you show up as something different than that you, they run. They don’t want that you. They won’t miss that you. What they will miss is you at your best moments. You must take the time to become capable of being the “best moments” you, in all moments again.

[@starsgirlforever]

I’m so glad you keep posting videos because I definitely still need them.

[@artbylady800]

The way this popped up and im in break up + no contact situation is insane, guess I need this that bad 😂❤🙏

[@teem5945]

I'm sorry about that. Just went through one late Jan. The pain is unbearable but we will be okay.

[@janillrodriguez8030]

I’ve been In NC for a month. Today it has been bad.

[@movingsaudade6028]

​@janillrodriguez8030 hang in there .stop ruminating. It get's better.

[@mistyruiz9509]

I been in no contact for about 15 days ..some days are good but these past days I been sad and depressed just wish he wasn't so cold and I know he wasn't for me. But watching your videos gives me hope that he will come back and feel that loss..I'm this time sure I won't take him back.its time for me to move on with my life.

[@underclassh3r058]

I went over 400 NC in my last relationship if I recall. In my newest relationship that just ended last week, I gave it a shot and fought for us but after a couple days of getting silence from her, I am now on day 2 of NC in this new breakup.

[@LeonardEarnshaw]

Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship. What works for Adam might not work for peter. Having no contact might help, but might also ruin every last chance of fixing things. I However learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago my wife and I were on the brink of a divorce because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it..

[@BruceKnapp-n4q]

lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@BruceKnapp-n4q]

this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her

[@LeonardEarnshaw]

You definitely should. You wont regret it

[@kaandemirkiran4583]

@@BruceKnapp-n4q Look who up?

[@kaandemirkiran4583]

What's the alternative to no contact?

[@AvgerinosMen54]

I am 2 months in NC, I still think of her sometimes but I honestly feel so good because I focused on personal growth and I’ve made so much progress. In the first month all I wanted was to get back that person but now I can honestly say that I am good on my own and if you want me you have to try to get me back not me because you left me. Focus on yourself give it time and everything will be alright I promise.

[@Hyper0100]

Update?

[@AvgerinosMen54]

@@Hyper0100 I feel so good on my own brother I realised that my relationship was holding me back from so many things. I can say that I feel alive after a long long time. It’s weird when I used to think that she was my “soulmate”. The best thing you can do is mute unfollow or even block your ex so you can move on completely from them and simply focus on yourself and trust me life will become good again.

[@codyjones1098]

Coach lee actually reads the questions and makes a AWESOME correct plan for how you should act! amazing....

[@DanDan78]

I was questioning this method at the beginning but had no other option. 6 weeks later, I bumped into my ex in a concert. Anyway, 6 weeks later, things are good between us. Thanks for your videos.

[@TheKwil]

5 year relationship and she cheated. No contact has without a doubt helped me find myself again and get over her. I would be lying if I said I didn't think about her still everyday but it's normal. The biggest part of no contact I have applied for me, is genuinely not holding resentment towards my ex. She made a horrible decision in the end but not holding onto hatred or anger for the betrayal I think is key in my situation.

[@catalinart]

I'm in a similar situation (10 year relationship) - hard not to feel anger. I think anger helps sometimes. I guess forgive and forget will take some time. Staying strong and focused on (re)building a lifestyle is key in my situation.

[@sloanmagnum5009]

So long as it leads you to eventual indifference and moving forward in hopes of finding someone new

[@MysteriousMM]

If she cheated and tried to come back then it means she got rejected. Don’t be foolish to entertain her. Move on

[@oncallempath]

13 months no contact but almost slipped a few times. I watched all these videos to keep me from giving in. A lot of lonely nights and pain. I’m at a point where I lost hope and given up then anything. So I guess no contact did work in as time passed by. I can honestly say even if the came back I would decline. I had too much time away. Plus someone that loves you wouldn’t stay silent for so long. That’s clearly not my person. Thanks for the videos 🙏🏻🫶

[@ketiwezulu2465]

I feel you . I am sorry sending hugs 🫂

[@user-hq116]

Work on yourself, hit the gym and become a new person. It works if you take the first step.

[@adhemkaldi2996]

Hi Coach Lee ! First of all, I wanna thank you for the good job ! Can you please do a video about a success story and what the dumper said after coming back about how they felt and they think during no contact that’s really gonna motivate us to stay in no contact. Thank you

[@MasokaJiko]

My boyfriend broke up with me and now I’m healing. This is my third week.

[@diaryofseresha]

Im on week 3 too same

[@MasokaJiko]

@@diaryofseresha work on yourself and also keep listening to your favorite songs and go out with friends

[@helenan866]

4 weeks today ❤️ been tough but feeling whole today 😊

[@dawsentew9759]

Almost a month of NC. Was with her for a little over 3 years. Got engaged and a place for us and everything and she left. Crossing my fingers this works!

[@ilyas8523]

Any updates man? I hope all is good with you regardless if she’s back

[@dawsentew9759]

@@ilyas8523 it’s been 6 1/2 months now. Still blocked on everything but I found out she got into a rebound two weeks after the split and as far as I know is still with him. I’m doing alright though

[@bulb2279]

I’m back 😂 time for round two! This time feels so much easier and I’m finally questioning whether I want them a third time.

[@nikar8509]

You keep taking them back? 😅

[@davidlee-rc6gr]

I swear on little baby Jesus that as I’m watching this video (by way of trying to ease my mind over being left after a 5 year relationship, 9 days ago), my ex who left me, whom I haven’t contacted since I moved out, just texted me how much she misses me and had a breakdown today. Literally as I’m watching this stressed out over her. I didn’t even know the “no contact rule”. Just found this and thought I needed to hear it

[@sandovalpaul]

Coach Lee thank you for all your help and encouragement. You have saved me from making mistakes after a breakup.

[@terrie778]

Each time I think there is nothing for me to get out of any of this, I learn something new about myself.

[@problemslayer3538]

What you guys need to remember is that we cant control the mind of our gf / wife 24/7 365. These women dont think straight all of the time and they are ALL capable of doing stupid things. We are the strong ones that are there to clean up these mistakes and poor judgements but remember, once youve cleaned up, you pack up and go. There is no going back.

[@derekmaestas8949]

No contact is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. Day 9

[@36Nep]

Day2 for me

[@derekmaestas8949]

@@36Nep stay strong. If my romantic heartfelt ass can make it to day 10. You definitely can.

[@Hannah81023]

Days 10.. I think i will be fine.

[@semmungrei4197]

@@36Nepday 1 😂😢

[@ellenmorse8559]

2 years!😢

[@carriejaworski3479]

Thank you Coach Lee for helping me get through this difficult time. My ex broke up with me a month ago and we had been together for 13 years. For 13 years I’ve been doing the chasing, the sacrificing, and all of the work. I didn’t ask him for anything except one day a week and one 15 minute call a day. We had our issues but he always knew that I loved him. He felt unattracted to me by the end because i ended up pulling away and holding resentment because after not being appreciated for 13 years I can only take so much heartache but I still love him and want him back. I know the only way it’s going to happened is if he experiences my loss. I’ve always been there and he knows that. As much as I love him, I’m done chasing. It’s his turn now. I know I was a good gf and brought a lot to the table. He took me for granted and now he’s going to have to feel some grief. I don’t want him to but sadly I know it’s the only way I know that he will come back around.

[@myriampatriciarobles]

Stay no Contact and don't break it. Overcome your anxiety no matter what. Do not call him, neither write him at least 2 months. You must be really really STRONG.... Take care of yourself, do some exercise, find activities to do, go out with friends try to keep busy, pamper you, love yourself, don't think and try not to talk about him.

[@ipdharwad]

Is he married? I'm sorry to ask. Need not answer if you don't want to. ❤

[@Troy12-fitnessmodel]

Hope your ok. Its 5 months NC for me after 8 years.

[@carriejaworski3479]

@@myriampatriciaroblesI’ve been in no contact for almost three weeks now and I will not break it. No matter how hard it gets. He’s going to have to figure it out for himself.

[@carriejaworski3479]

@@ipdharwadHe’s not married. He’s an avoidant and any time he thinks his independence is in jeopardy he pulls away.

[@chrissharkey9644]

This guy is amazing

[@TheCollector91]

Bro you‘re amazing, i watched other creators doing the same kind of content but you do it best, thank your for your videos! 🙏🏼

[@timothythompson4036]

If they say they want to break up no problem. No contact. Just move on to the next woman.

[@truthfullytrue5568]

Most of your videos are for people who have been broken up with. Can you also make one about the ones who broke up with a person they loved because he/she wasn’t loving me the right way and wasn’t putting in the effort. It would help to have a video supporting and motivating those who where brave enough to break up and walk away from their loved one.. You only have one video of the power of walking away but even in that one you assume that the person watching has been broken up with. Thanks it would really help. You have good quality content in your videos. you give good advice. Thank you. 🙏🏻

[@OM-1111]

I'm so sorry you felt you had to break up with someone you loved. Out of curiosity, did you give them ample opportunity to meet your needs? Or, did you not discuss honestly your needs and what you needed from the relationship? I ask because I see a lot of people breaking up with people they love but they didn't have honest conversations about their needs. They just vented to friends, got bad advice, never really giving the person they loved an opportunity to know how to treat them in a way they would feel secure.

[@truthfullytrue5568]

Yes more than plenty opportunities. The longer I stayed the more I was losing my dignity, self respect and myself alltogether. Now I am slowly getting back my self-worth.. It took a lot of courage to walk away. But it is /was the only way there might be even the slightest chance that we would ever return to each other in a balanced healthy and happy relationship. Staying in a toxic and unbalanced one is never a good decision .

[@delaynebaur7612]

Yes! This exactly. I'm in the same situation! And I get confused because I basically went to him asking if he would rather just be friends, because that's how it had been feeling. He basically said 'that's fine' but in that last conversation finally told me he loved me after two years of being together. I couldn't understand why if that was true he was only telling me then. But we parted ways amicably. 12 days later I messaged him and told him I missed him. He told me that he couldn't take me back because it would always be in the back of his mind that I dumped him. Except I don't feel like I dumped him, however he clearly feels I did. So I don't know whether to come at this as the dumper or dumpee. Because in the second conversation I feel I was the one essentially dumped. Bottom line is, these situations are not always black and white. We could use advice from different angles.

[@itme7297]

I thought about this too, being an "unwilling dumper". It actually applies equally to everything Coach Lee teaches. A lack of effort essentially is a non reciprocal relationship and in my opinion, is a mental and emotional equaivalent to physically walking away. The only difference is you pulled the plug, but the concept of being dumped still applies in a sense, specially if they didnt fight the breakup, almost like you did what they didnt have the guts to do. The truth is, when you left them you were doing so in hopes that they would change and level up for you but when they chose not to, that in itself is still a rejection to you even if you did the dumping, the rejection is still the same as if you had been the dumped one. Thats why I think the NC rule for you still applies just the same here (in my opinion)

[@delaynebaur7612]

@@itme7297 this is a fantastic perspective, I never really thought of it quite like that! I wish I'd thought of it this way four months ago. The confusion I was in as to whether I was the dumper or dumpee had me reaching out after two and a half months of NC. In some ways I wish I hadn't, in some ways it was the best thing to happen. It was all very strange. I emailed an apology to him for what I felt I did wrong. What ensued was a very strange non-conversation over the course of a couple days after he pulled me from email back into texting, and him expressing his only regret of our relationship was that the sex hasn't been better for me, an that he hadn't been able to be my 'sex god'. I was flabbergasted. It was clear he hadn't thought about anything, hadn't worked on anything, and that told me our whole relationship was only about boosting his ego. I was never looking for a sex god and he knew it. Apparently I was playing chess while he was playing checkers this whole time. We're no contact again and I'm moving on.

[@Lyrakest1121]

Hi! I’m currently in this same situation. No contact for 3-4 days now. I also blocked him. He’s been calling me privately. We were together for 3 years. I’ve done no contact before and it works. I’m standing on this one. I’ll update in a few weeks.

[@catalinart]

I think I need the "Drop Everything And Go On Your Longest Journey Rule"

[@xinle6022]

6 weeks NC, he broke up with me after 11 and half years. He moved out but still have access to our home. Some of his stuff is still here. He told me his feelings have faded. He said loves me but not in love with me, he will always care about me and that I deserve better. He kept messaging me for a few days after the break up out of guilt making sure I was ok and that I was eating and I ignored it all those messages because it broke me even more to the point I had to ask his sister to tell him to stop do what he’s doing because it is all out of guilt. 2 weeks after the break up and NC, he left me some food in the fridge but I didnt reach out and break NC because I felt like he was breadcrumbing. I have to listen to coach Lee on my podcast every morning, every night or even any bit of time that I start having moment when I’m about to to break to get through this dark time. I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this. 😔

[@BenchSantosMusic]

Don’t you worry, it gets better each day you are able to manage doing NC. You’ll become a stronger person and learning self control would help you in your life in the long run. Try to focus on doing stuff that you love doing. Usually this shifts our focus instead of letting our mind play with us by remembering the ex. Best of luck to you! 🎉

[@mmr0221]

This sounds exactly like my situation but I’m the guy. 12 years with her, we share a home

[@sammyrowe86]

I messed up and tried to save my relationship but now I’ll just no contact

[@SpaceMel00]

Please do no contact! My friends don't do this and wonder why their exes don't come back. Argh! Buy the break up kit and binge watch the Coach Lee videos. I did back in 2021. My partner left me for someone else after more than 6 years. We got back together after 5 months. They grew a sensitivity chip.

[@Dylan-bd3ym]

Hi Coach, thanks for the video! Long story short I suggested to take a break with my girl as she wasn’t communicating a lot we were in a long distance relationship she Spain and me in Portugal. She didn’t want a break so told me exactly the cliche stories about having to work on herself and I deserve someone better and basically countered the break into a breakup. This all happened in December now almost 4 months later I haven’t heard a single thing however, she’s watching every single story on IG not one but all. I’m currently travelling through Asia and sharing nice pictures with me included. I don’t think her ego will allow her to break no-contact. I notice I’m not seeing any of her stories on IG so I believe she has limited me or she isn’t posting anything she never posted much but I think she limited me. Wondering if I should limit her as well from seeing my stories.

[@morgan2783]

My girlfriend broke up with me without any reason. After 5 days, she sent me a message on WhatsApp and deleted it again. I think this is the beginning of her mystery without me😅😅😅

[@inshapedave]

Hey guys. Don't give up hope! My spouse and I are back together after 6 months of separation. Listen to Coach Lee. Just watching his YT videos helped me a lot. I hope to have time to send him my story soon.

[@RealCoachLee]

Yes please send your story to [e-mail]

[@johnnyquid-xj4kk]

Been telling my buddy to go full NC, but for some it’s very difficult to let go. He’s done everything wrong to get her back, the letter, the nice gestures, etc.

[@EvilFloww]

My ex who i was with for about 2 years now recently left two sundays ago after i cheated. Yes i know im a pos and im not proud but its been two weeks on NC i sent a hope your feeling well text and she started pouring her heart out about how much she misses us and that her rebound isnt working. Not sure if this gonna be a success or not but wasnt expecting to hear from her again she said i was dead to her. Keep your hopes up 🙏🏽

[@nathanskinner423]

Thank you so much. I was so lost, I just needed someone to tell me it was going to be ok. I am going to be ok. Its only been 3 days and I am starting my first mech engineering job on monday. I will be okay. Thank you coach.

[@Motiv8Grow]

How are you ?

[@nathanskinner423]

@@Motiv8Grow I am doing better each day. I loved her truly and I was kind. I believe in No contact. Either she will realize what a mistake she made or I will find someone who won't make it in the first place.

[@Motiv8Grow]

@@nathanskinner423 I wish you all the best, I’m struggling right now. I was with my girlfriend for 10 years 2 weeks off getting engaged. It’s tough but I believe in time she will realise what we had

[@bertalankovacs7623]

I have met a wonderful lady in january, we have been dating until the end of march. She told me she doesn't feel anything towards me. We never had a fight, everything was working out - yet for some reason she wanted to leave this relationship, even tough she admitted that I'm a quality man like she never met before. I told her that I don't agree with her, but I accept her decision, if she changes her mind, she knows where she can find me. No contact straight away. I don't know if this will work, I would love to give this another try, but I'm man enough to act like an adult. Whatever happens, I'm moving forward.

[@TheVivazzz]

Stay strong my man

[@Chrisia-Queens]

No Contact is permanent for me. Once you break up with me, the door is closed forever. Any man that broke up with me, are dead to me. Because i usually go into deep depression after a break up. Once I recover from that, i will never forgive you for making me feeling this way. I will block you everywhere and change my number. So There's no way to contact me again.

[@Chéli-b3k]

Tonight i have talked in a friend group i have in common with my ex about a guy who hit on me while he is 30 years older than me and is the ex-husband of a friend of mine.... In some ways i feel like i have broke no contact... Even worse, i fear that he will now think that it was a way for me to make him jealous when i only wanted to talk to my friends about that story that chocked me quit a bit. ... It's not the first time i'm doing a mistake while in no contact (i have crossed the street on propose when i saw him two weeks ago - i paniked - and i know he saw me). I feel that i'm doing no contact in vain with all my mistakes...

[@Blessed2B_HeavenDivine]

Together 5 years. No conatct since new years after begging from 3/23- 12/23. Still hurting 1 year later but im trying to accept it

[@Markdaamannn]

I feel u big time

[@jefdelarosa]

I really feel your pain. We'll get through this. It will get better in time.

[@jeffreybcam]

Similar to me end of October been trying to understand why until last week I gave up , I haven’t heard from her since end of October , we had a business together that built and I got cut out from everything , I’m now learning from this no contact . I lost myself dealing with her . 8 years down the drain

[@janillrodriguez8030]

1 months in NC. She reached out for my birthday. I answered regular. Called me twice I didn’t answer. I froze and couldn’t answer. Now I want her to call me again atleast to hear her voice.

[@helenaboyle1032]

We broke up as a long distance couple about to set up home together. I guess he got cold feet 3 yrs ago just after the pandemic and not able to see each other. He's still at the back of my mind but rarely on my mind. I have changed and see him differently now in a clearer light. He would now have to convince me he was worth being in my life again. We are not kids but a couple in our 60s. Cold feet or lack of attraction after a pandemic lockdown . Nothing out there to side step our breakup.

[@sondraharris53]

Thank you for the reminders!!

[@lionelt7882]

No contact works when you REALLY go no contact almost as soon as they say they want to break up or leave them alone. Don’t even respond with “ok”, let alone protesting. Just disappear completely and focus on yourself (or other women)

[@Summer_chestnut]

I went out on 2 amazing dates with someone who sounded really interested, then suddenly faded out and didn’t text me again (neither did I as I was making more of the effort). Last time we spoke he still sounded really interested and was organising a 3rd date. Men never cease to amaze me… 😢

[@ztrayal]

I did no contact for a month by accident. Did not know it existed and she called me and was sad, and I hung up. Time ended up passing and I found myself talking to her more and we went back to me begging and now this time it's even harder to initiate no contact. I just don't want it. I just wanted to be in love. 2 years down the drain.

[@hellooohowareudoing]

5 months NC coming up. It definitely helps, I still have bad days sometimes but there's no way I will contact her and she will not contact me. Time heals everything eventually.

[@SonPham-ts5gc]

Your ex never come back, move on guys. They don't care if you go no contact. They are now happy with new lovers. Don't be in false hope

[@jasengriffin485]

I worked for me. She came back after 45 days

[@Sllihulkgaming]

​@@jasengriffin485 im hopin she comes back too i prayed to God

[@kimmichaud7741]

Never contact them again ! I was 4 months no contact and then like an idiot I contacted him and found out he quit his job , sold his house and moved across the country !! I should have stayed no contact forever I'm more devestate now

[@NathanStephens-ee9be]

It's been 2 years. Havnt heard a word from her. Nor have I contacted her. But she got with a guy that has her on meth.

[@icequeencassandra2950]

13:13 he wanted a break, I didn’t want that. Whatever issue we have can be resolved but no he wanted a break so I told him I appreciate this is what you want I am gonna give it to you. But I would appreciate if we don’t communicate with each other. His responses was “if this is what I want is fine” 3 weeks NC. I am still struggling but I will get there😢😢

[@Audrey-ib2xe]

How did it go? Four months later

[@kawirider8053]

My ex and I of 6 years on and off have split 4-5 times. No contact works everytime in my situation. Unfortunately she comes back for awhile then leaves and enters a rebound every single time. Then after weeks or a month or so calls and says how she was wrong and this and that. Use the no contact for yourself and if you see no change in them don’t waste your time no matter how hard it is

[@TheArdienta]

What impressively worked in my case was your statement that exes tend to return you the forgotten things when the right time comes 😊That is when I thought : “Doctor Lee, you must have known something”))))

[@evelynpineda3688]

I hope you can make a video for no contact the second time.

[@evelynpineda3688]

Just to give a little back story...(reason why I would like to have this topic discussed by coach lee)

[@iPodvidmaster]

@@evelynpineda3688hiii❤

[@elle_skye]

no contact isn’t real . don’t focus on ur 3D . manifest them back ! i manifested my ex back after NC for 6 months and we are back together again now ❤

[@secura8219]

Ive broken no contact a couple of times to the point my ex blocked me in the phone, unfriend me on Facebook but still friends with me on instagram. I’ve resumed the no contact for a week now. My ex broke up with me a month ago. No contact is tough but I’m much stronger now

[@Matkolaj]

Any news?

[@albertodeulofeu5277]

It’s all my fault. I cheated. I convinced her to stay. She did. I never did it again. But later there was distance because of our work. And she said she couldn’t get past it, then left 8 months later. I don’t think she’s coming back. Ever.

[@SomiaDz]

I hope you learned the lesson.

[@albertodeulofeu5277]

@@SomiaDz I have. Regardless of what u do, women like to leave. Loyal? She’ll leave. Cheated? She’ll leave. Nice? She’ll leave. Mean? She’ll leave.

[@SomiaDz]

@@albertodeulofeu5277 that's funny cuz I could say the same thing about men.

[@misshairpassionista8378]

When you reconciled, there should have been grieving for the past relationship you had and made the conscious decision to build relationship 2 while incorporating all the learnings and growth the experience brought. Own the past and change your future. Otherwise, your past cheating gets muddled into the new relationship and it will surface that neither of you are all-in on the new relationship.

[@jeorgeramirezgonzolezsanti3178]

The ones you want ALWAYS leave.

[@winnielim80]

Coach lee. You may want to help people to move on from a narcissistic ex who left you many times and ended the relationship with aweful devaluation like “ harrassment / stalking “ and police threat and put you in a risky place to go to jail!

[@jeorgeramirezgonzolezsanti3178]

Two mos into NC i broke and wrote her a heartfelt letter. No reply. This defenitly hurts & sucks but it helps it kills all hope. Destroys it. My heart may be dead but now i know for sure

[@terrie778]

Very good advice. Thank you.

[@anantisocialsinsight]

Didn’t work for me y’all but good luck to y’all. Maybe you aren’t as boring I was 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@bajiraokulkarni603]

4 months of no contact but I don't care now bcoz I walk away from disrespect and cheated

[@alecubudulecu]

The only issue I have with this is the guidance that suggests to folks the relationship can be salvaged. This advice will result in people misunderstanding. His points are clear and he’s right. Except that people - in turmoil - don’t think logically.

[@scc8728]

It would probably only work if that person cared in the first place. But no contact is still good if you have been used and treated like less than dirt because you should never let anyone treat you like that and you shouldn't listen to their excuses for it either. No contact for life in those cases

[@user-hq116]

When your absence didn't affect them, your presence never meant anything to them. Just move on.

[@RetroUrbanRainbow]

Glad I found your videos. It’s 17 days nc since the breakup. When does the dumper reach out on average? He was watching my stories multiple times a day and now not so much

[@coachaceofmen]

Our EMOTIONS have a far more EFFECT upon our relationship and justification of LOGICAL ACTION & EXPECTATIONS.

[@KenuDRoger]

My ex contacted me during no contact, but she unblocked me, I thought it was something, but she just wanted me not to park my motorbike on her place because she feels uncomfortable 😂, so I replied in a positive way and gave me my reason, then she said okay fine, then I told her you can blocked me again if you want too, then proceed to NC again, but days later I checked, she still havent blocked me😂. I guess it's better than nothing.

[@bobgallagher1666]

Thank you man !! I have a person of interest...our relationship is like the tide of the ocean...it comes and goes...

[@Caro.Foresta]

HELP 😭 What if I am starting to lose feelings for him and falling for Coach Lee instead 😳

[@leonoraapostoloska9348]

Coach Lee doing his job 😂🥰