Exactly How To Stop The Emotional Affair

[@followingfenna]

www.youtube.com/@followingfenna/community

[@bye-bye]

This is going to sound crazy but mutual limerence felt better than anything else I ever experienced. It ended badly and with a lot of pain and I know it was destructive for me and the other person, but I still miss those feelings we had in the first few months. I feel like a part of me will always miss it. It's really scary, I imagine this is what it's like to be addicted to illegal substances

[@followingfenna]

It's the absoluut best, at first ..

[@kerrymillar1267]

Were there obstacles? Were you both with someone else? It’s hard to hear as the partner of someone that experienced this. Feels like you can’t match up to the hormones and feelings of longing that someone unavailable creates. It’s crazy making.

[@TheDevineFempress]

Yes it was awful and wonderful …. Circumstances stopped us but we couldn’t stay away from one another it was intoxicating

[@bekanuredin4666]

Feelings are not facts; facts are facts. Thanks fenna for another excellent video

[@followingfenna]

Thank you so much :).

[@danoles2k]

single man, involved in mutual limerence with a married woman for 7 years. Tried walking away last year, that lasted a whole two days when I saw how devastated she was, and how sick to my stomach I felt without her. But its getting harder and harder to wait for her, especially as we continue to see each other in secret. Watching these videos to muster up the courage to go no contact for good, because my head and emotions are going crazy! But the HOPE factor is killing me!

[@followingfenna]

Know that EVERYTHING will improve after you come put of limerence / aka out of the addiction. Good luck to you 💓

[@DominicOkinawa]

Thank you for the tough love Fenna. This is vital and true.

[@Odani_Fam]

The how old you felt is so spot on!!

[@kerrymillar1267]

With all due respect this letter makes the writer sound insane. My partner left me for someone that he knew for 4 months and it lasted 3 months with her. I’m still so traumatised by being dragged into this hell on earth. Please anyone feeling this way don’t make rash decisions. It will pass.

[@followingfenna]

It will pass indeed, unfortunately people don't want to see that.

[@robertah2353]

For the past 6 years I’ve experienced limerence towards someone who is in a relationship and ended up getting married. It’s mental self harm/torture- I wish I could turn off my feelings

[@followingfenna]

We all wished we could switch off feelings and limerence, hope you will feel better soon.

[@mickboyce386]

Try and find some community work to get the confidence about yourself up so that you don't NEED anyone else but they compliment you. You need some self love.

[@deniseblack7253]

I was waiting for a video on the emotional affair. Thank you.

[@followingfenna]

You are very welcome

[@DominicOkinawa]

Thank you again Fenna. This video popped up and I had to rewatch it. I love it and appreciate your support.

[@desertrose8182]

That was great video Fenna thank you! I have a problem that I need to test my feelings after going no contact for several months! I saw my LO again after 3 months no contact! It wasn’t enough. I went back to limerence loop but I helped myself to get out from it so fast !! Lesson learned:) I prefer no eye contact nor small talk. I am done!!!

[@followingfenna]

Nor small talk! Hurray

[@melissapiascik-xw9ns]

Such a great video!

[@followingfenna]

Thank you

[@benjaminquist]

Do you think that in an emotinal affair both people have attachment wounds?

[@followingfenna]

Of course I can't answer with no further information but of what I've seen so far is if people are in a very high on hormones relationships they tend to have attachment wounds.

[@dutchwoman1655]

For me and the other it is very painfull, it's killing. But i "prefere" sadness, instead anxiety, unrest, terrible tension.

[@followingfenna]

I'm so sorry to hear that Dw.

[@sunnygemini7099]

Hi, I was in this situation. We both decided to honor our commitments. I even left the workplace where we both worked. He would "accidentally" call, and even if I didn't respond, I would be disregulated for a long time. It has been 2 years without contact. He passed away 3 weeks ago, and I am disregulated to another level. Can you help me with grief?

[@followingfenna]

I'm so sorry Sunnygemini I hear this quite often. If you want to contact me check Followingfenna.com .

[@photonjohnny]

Wow. Never realized there was such a thing. Always one sided with me. I will watch your video with a big ???? Romeo and Juliet? The Friar tried to warn "love moderately".

[@mariad1151]

Wouldn't "moderate love" be what is called an oxymoron? Is there such a thing as moderate love? Doesn't it sound loathsome? Romeo & Juliet were "star-crossed lovers"--Sounds better than cursed, I guess. I try not to think of the state of limerence as being cursed, so maybe I'll change it to "star-crossed." It's cosmic but not personal.... We'll see🤔

[@photonjohnny]

@@mariad1151 Thank you. I have given up on being able to figure it all out. I do feel strong love but feel sad that is never going to be felt back. 😪

[@mariad1151]

@@photonjohnny You took the words right out of my mouth! (Except 10 minutes after I say it, I go back to trying to figure it out again!🤣 Chin up! Best luck, my friend. Hope springs eternal (don't tell Fenna I said that 😆).

[@davegoodyear2774]

How do I communicate this to my wife and her boss? They didn’t see each for 7 weeks, and then saw each other Friday. He didn’t tell his wife, my wife did tell me, but only because I noticed the difference and pushed… he wants to work on his marriage, my wife has not decided…..

[@followingfenna]

I'm so sorry Dave, know that you are not alone. I hope there will be a breaking point where your wife will choose you. Good luck

[@franziskani]

So they are not in the same country, have never met in person and put their family resp. engagement at risk. And it feels almost impossible for the woman writing the letter to pull out of it. And the male part may not event try to end it.

[@followingfenna]

Thank you for sharing this.

[@Ciagar]

I wish my husband would have watched this video. We are divorcing....

[@followingfenna]

Good luck to you :( 😞

[@Ciagar]

Thank you!

[@kerrymillar1267]

They don’t listen when they’re in the middle of it anyway. My partner left for someone he knew for 4 months. It lasted less than 3 with her once he was gone. Hope you’re ok.

[@briechilli4496]

After the no contact, How to get my nervous system to calm down ? I already have severe anxiety.

[@followingfenna]

In any case, it will need time to calm down. There is not 1 thing you can do to calm down immediately. Now, of course, there are exercises to calm the nervous vagus, with breathing exercises. Have a look online where there are plenty of examples. Sint john wort can help, ( don't take with SSRIs !!)

[@TheDevineFempress]

It was so overwhelming I was afraid to be intimate with him ….I called him a diq demon and he had me saved in his phone as a demon

[@franziskani]

Because the fiance of the man under the spell informed the husband of the female under the spell, it became very hard for the long-distance love birds to even have online contact. But that did not help them (much). I guess if the no-contact is not a determination and backed up by insight / conviction - but forced upon them by "circumstances" then the no-contact is of little value. There are countless opportunities to _think_ of the love interest. In a way that was not a self-imposed boundary but another obstacle that intensified the addiction. Likely her husband had put down some firm boundaries and she had to give up a smartphone and had to give him all passwords to her social media accounts. And the fiance on the other side might have had an equally strong grip on her "star-struck" man.

[@followingfenna]

You are so right, Forced no contact can create a Romeo and Julia effect . Good luck to you!

[@TheDevineFempress]

I tried everything I could to stay away …. I went to my God mother house 7 hours away … and I “had to” go back I just couldn’t stay away

[@followingfenna]

I'm so sorry 😞

[@Odani_Fam]

But as a poet, I can say there is more to it. You tap into something very real, the source of which is God. Turn to Him.

[@jenaskye1567]

I think my husband & his AP are in limerence with eachother... I'm so sad as we may be headed for a legal seperation 😞

[@followingfenna]

I'm so sorry to hear this Jena, good luck to you.

[@stella6516]

Does limerence ever lead to something solid?

[@followingfenna]

Sometimes but not that often.

[@elodiegradlife6904]

16:36

[@mickboyce386]

The poor lady has limerence beer googles. The drunkness of limerence hides the truth of why the relationship would not work.

[@followingfenna]

Well said Mick! 👏

[@mickboyce386]

@@followingfenna I've seen what this lady is putting both families through. It's a relationship bomb about to go off.

[@TheDevineFempress]

Fenna you’re a horrible person ….how dare you tell me my twin flame soul mate somatic narcissist and I cannot ever be together 😂😂😂😂 we’re twin soul flame mates or mates flame soul twin or mwin flate swin toles 🤪🤪🤪

[@followingfenna]

Hahaha mating twames