Experts Explain How To Overcome Self-Love Deficit Disorder/Codependency. With Robert Jackman.

[@annastone5624]

“Lots of books that identify the problem, but hard to find a book that gives practical solutions..” paraphrased.. SO TRUE!

[@alisonmorris4444]

I credit this with literally saving my life ❤️ x

[@djjustice3244]

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[@celestinacampuzano5001]

I believe it's going to save mine to. I'm so happy I can view this channel 😍 ☺️ 😭 🕊🥰💯

[@babysummer7207]

Its tough because along with the SLDD there was this accompanying pressure to be perfect and sweet and mild mannered at all times. Growing up I was not allowed to have boundaries, they were violated constantly and I was looked down on for trying to speak up for myself. Thank you so much Ross youve been so much help!

[@natalijamartina]

My story. So grateful to find this channel and get diagnosis. Starting to work on myself.

[@athena3865]

Same.

[@wowso4]

Same here I always felt I needed to be perfect to please my parents. I do it to this day.

[@ashleykathryn9038]

Even as an adult I'm constantly put down for having boundaries. No respect

[@gpsoedarso3815]

Me, too. I have the same situation.

[@nicolewaters2581]

Two years now since I lost most my family and friends after I started addressing my SLDD. I had no idea how many takers and manipulators were in my life. It is abundantly clear now, especially after a life altering illness. I have always been there for others with money, love, service and time, but no one has been there for me. It stings. It’s lonely. Yet, it’s drama free. I hold out hope that I’ll build healthier relationships in time that are reciprocated. Thanks for the video! Good content.

[@peacefreedom4930]

How did you start addressing your SLDD? This is my first time hearing of this. Where do I start?

[@andreejohnston516]

I'm with you

[@susanhand1966]

I’ve been healing for awhile now, long enough to lose everyone in my family even my grown children. It seems as if as soon as I started respecting and loving myself and setting boundaries they just couldn’t cope. It’s like poof they gone..It’s been hard but everyday it’s getting better. I’m realizing just how abusive my parents, siblings and my 2 daughters have been. I don’t want to ever reconcile with abusers I don’t care who they are to me. I deserve to be loved, I deserve peace..

[@sarahstarr]

Doc, i can't tell you enough how much your content has helped me heal from Self Love Deficit Disorder. And for the record, it's the PERFECT term to describe our condition. We are lacking in how to love ourselves and how much to love ourselves. We were never taught that growing up. "Codependency" is a misleading term, in fact. As humans, we inevitably have to depend on others in healthy ways. But traditional psychology jargon makes a patient feel guilt and shame for needing support from others. So, the term "SLDD" has my irrevocable vote.

[@thejojojo1111]

If 75% to 85% of friends and family will be lost when you get emotionally and psychologically healthy, that tells you how much of your society is sick.

[@Starlightndust]

It's so true!! ❤ You couldn't put it better!

[@thusharividanagamachchi9779]

Yes, this has been my experience. You suddenly wake up and see how unhealthy most of our relationships have been.

[@irinamladenoska7539]

I am a codependent in recovery. You are not alone ❤

[@anaviana2641]

To me, I love seeing good men and whats thats like. To hear them talk about "heart and mind" things WOW! To me its such a rare thing to witness because all my life I have ONLY attracted psychpaths, narcasistic, and misogynistic romantic partners. I know nothing else. Because of the trauma, I thus prefer to be/live alone, its much safer if these as these only choices I have. Its a relief to know that all this "disfunctional" behavior can actually be reversed and changed. People can REAL change with treatment/therapy. Thank you for the helpful video. XXX

[@franceslock1662]

Think about your child. Don’t let them orbit around the narcissistic popular child who enlists them to fight their battles. Position your child to simply focus on their own strengths and emerging talents. Have firm and confident boundaries as a parent.

[@juanadrianrobaina5763]

I can't stop crying 😢,this is so hard to realize that I have never really loved myself as I have loved everybody else😮...this is a new experience,thank you guys 😊

[@theresefournier3269]

What does the second greatest commandment say?! "Love your neighbour, as... yourself" ❤

[@fightswithspirits915]

59 ignorant years on this topic, yet it has been the single biggest life challenge. It co-existed with my "spiritual path" like a fluffy kitten who received daily care and attention. It existed 5 decades previous to that like an angry, arrogant bull in a self-destructive China shop. Ross, you are correct about the loss of 75%. I drew a circle on my wall. It contains me and two new friends. I feel very strongly about maturing my understanding and navigation of this world so I no longer must shut the door on family and others who were merely victims of their circumstances and themselves. Everyone deserves love. The day I can truly love someone else is the day I have forgiven myself. Everyone deserves love, starting with me first.

[@hamsterpoopie1]

Wow! I loved this video! Four years into recovery from C-PTSD and no longer qualify for ANY diagnosis. Im pretty sure SLD was a huge component in the tangle. I finally started paying attention to my most important patient- me. I do wished I would have found your "warning" earlier, it would have saved me guilt and time. Thanks for your channel.

[@izawaniek2568]

Thank you for a brilliant conversation Gentlemen. You are saving people’s live by what you do. God bless you❤

[@fantasizer8473]

Loving the wholesome people who are into Rosenberg. Much love ❤️

[@eringilbert7456]

Such good material here, Ross & Bob. I’ve recently been discovering friendships with folks who are on healing journeys similar to my own. One day I referred to myself as a recovering SLD Disordered individual and when I saw their faces light up in recognition and acknowledgment I felt validated. I felt at home. I felt as if I had finally broken free and ARRIVED. I am grateful to you 🙏🏽

[@souchoysaeteurn5211]

Thank you for all the helpful information throughout the years Ross. My SLDD was so bad that I couldn't hold a job for more than 3 months. I even quit 7 jobs in a year at one point. Discovering your videos was such a life changing moment for me

[@babysummer7207]

Youre not alone! I was like that too and I would quit if i felt like customers or coworkers didnt like me...i had to be perfect or else i had to leave in shame. Learning how to give myself validation is hard but i know ill be grateful for it in the future

[@souchoysaeteurn5211]

@@babysummer7207 exactly! Whenever I couldn't properly help a customer or whenever my co workers said I did something wrong, I would beat myself up over it and take all of that home. I'm glad someone else understands :)

[@bobc9786]

This is fantastic work. I'm so glad I found these videos. I have been working on dialing down what the issues in my life stem from, the real roots for about 3-5 years now. This is a great breakdown and summary and provided a great deal of insight into what's been going on and where I am in the process (stage 8-9 I think). I'm so excited to finally feel like my hard work and all the pain/suffering the past few years is beginning to pay off and I feel the healing now. It has been the most difficult time of my life but also the most rewarding. I pray for those who have to endure this process. You will get knocked down many times, but just don't quit!

[@Creadores_Conscientes]

Resulta bastante agotador tener que crecer con una madre narcisista y al escapar para salvar la vida, encontrarse con más personas narcisistas, es como una película de terror en dónde todos son monstruos. Soy de Perú, a pesar de todo he intentado ayudarme buscando información que me ayude a tener más consciencia de lo que me ha venido pasando en la vida. Y esta información que da el doctor Ross es bastante esperanzadora. Gracias. Valoro muchísimo su ayuda.

[@jasonwimberly5636]

La luz dentro de tu espíritu no puede ser conquistada si te mantienes fiel a tu yo más elevado. La gente que te rodea está evidentemente dormida incluso al concepto de cualquier cosa superior. Su conciencia funciona en una frecuencia mucho más baja, mucho más primitiva y primaria y, por lo tanto, menos iluminada. Los instintos inferiores en los humanos son importantes, nos aportan vigor y vitalidad. Sin embargo, sin un principio moral superior activo en la conciencia de la gente, se vuelven como un carro sin jinete. Causando mucho daño, dolor, esclavitud, opresión y destrucción.

[@Rbl7132]

"Self love deficit disorder" was BRILLIANT Ross....those 4 words ALONE explain the problem AND the cure!! It should be in the DSM!!! PS- this comment is not intended to appeal to your narcissistic tendencies 🤣

[@alisonmorris4444]

Absolutely 💯🤗💪 x

[@irinamladenoska7539]

This is incredible. Look at the enthusiasm that dr Rosenberg is talking with!

[@andreejohnston516]

I just found you. Best site on web! Too many ramble on and you are on key and straight to facts. Thank you. I've been single for long time choosing to find and be myself. I can see I'm healing.

[@CarolinaAverbuj]

Thank you! Discovering myself step by step thanks to listening to your work❤

[@JN24185]

Just as another suggestion, obviously all of Ross’s stuff is amazing and so helpful. I also found working the 12 steps VERY helpful.

[@jomarie6860]

I'm coming up on two years past our two years of work together, Ross. It hardly seems possible. I still work with all of it and keep finding new understanding of the areas I couldn't get to while in therapy. I will work this process forever to maintain and improve my understanding of my inner self. You have been the guide I searched for! Thank you

[@catiannaromani6864]

Wow, this is life changing!!! Thank you for doing the work I need to recover!!

[@MyraChan]

I have a therapist working with me with something similar to this. I think he calls it brain spotting, though. It has worked wonderfully.

[@craigdunning5123]

This gave me a sense of hope that I haven’t felt it in a LONG time. Thank you guys. I bought both your books and will start the recovery process. I appreciate the linear, logical approach, it simplifies a very complex disorder. Thanks again 🙏 let’s do this!

[@dr.ulrichvomhagen1808]

Your insight on self love disorder is helping me to understand the dynamics with me ex wife who is suffering from borderline disorder. We attracted each other due to woundedness from childhood trauma. Her’s more severe than mine. Half a year after our wedding she discarded me without an explanation and I need to understand the loneliness I am experiencing now. I hated the drama but got addicted to it. I loved her. Such a difficult situation to watch the person you love slip away and become a nightmare over feelings they can't handle over the relationship itself. I feel like at some point I became the enemy of her internal struggle ... then it became all about her needs. It was never enough. I felt like an afterthought. Difficult when they're placed in high regard despite everything they've done to prove otherwise. Now it’s time to move on and love myself again.

[@Ay-B]

I just received Jackman's Healing Your Inner Child book and the companion workbook. I'm excited to get started with it.

[@LovableLL]

Love this video!!! I love how you touch upon the possibility of while I'm growing and evolving, many of the people in my life may not, and what do I do with that. This is a question I have wondered about for years!! Finally some clarification!❤

[@MarquiceMoore]

We attract what we are..

[@Marisaferreira122]

Thank you so much to both of you, for sharing this video, I need so much to listen, find way to start on my on healing path, i just finds out recently , iam codependent and I am married with a narcissistic husband. Thanks you so much, big hug from Portugal .

[@snoerosina]

Thank you for the great video! It feels hard to celebrate your current succes and be proud of yourself when it constantly feels like you should be ashamed of your past. But your videos help us make it through, thanks again for a great video!

[@Ya22232]

Learned so mucha and see the patterns spoken in your podcasts and KZbin videos. Opening my eyes. Thank you!

[@karenherrera287]

You're not alone. I can relate ❤

[@souldigger1]

That was so eye-opening! I have been looking for the anwers for my traumatic relationships for many years and I think that I have finally found my "enemy" to conquer. Thank you Guys. Peace ✌🏻

[@carolinavictronia1668]

oooh its so easy to understand, broken down so well. cheers

[@concious.co-parent16]

Thank you!

[@riyajacob2909]

Dr.Ross,your affirmations and clues on the recovery stages...makes me known , currently where I am at. Grateful to all my mentor's including you and me ....on the recovery path.🙏🏼

[@Salvnite]

It doesn't have to be labeled "looking back at the past" but you could use the analogy... If you have a huge sword gash in your emotions... It will hinder you in life... And I choose not to be willfully blind just because everyone else jumps on that bandwagon for no higher reason but to look tough and fit in.

[@garycordle5295]

Thank you Ross, you really talk about things that heal us and it works 👍Ross and survivors and thrivers 🙏🦋 thanks for the video.

[@drsandhyathumsikumar4479]

🎉 it helps me to grow as a person and as a therapist 🎉 much grattitude

[@tammystours5171]

Wow! Super grounding for me to hear this today.. love the warning (cig pac) as this is EXACTLY what has happened in my life. The loss of relationships for me is tremendous! Some of them I could still participate in, with family.. however I don’t wish to have them in my life. Coverts.. always found myself participating in “the game” no matter how much growth I’ve made. No Bueno.. so here I am pretty alone at 55, I fluctuate between being completely at peace with it to being horrified by it..watching this made me realize it is a sign of a healing heart, which is extremely comforting. Now it’s time for me to get into therapy as I recognize I do in fact need some support to continue to the next step, finding healthy relationships. Thank you for your work! Blessings to everyone on their journey ❤

[@michaelokeefe8905]

Always Like To Hear Ross.Sorry I Missed those In Person Seminars You Gave Around The Chicago Area.I Did Do Sessions With Angela That Were Helpful.Hoping For Your Return.

[@van-kimtrinh4027]

Thank you for all that knowledge! It is still very helpful to me. I always knew, that there is something that I didn't understand right or do. But now it's like. There is something that I can do, to feel healthy and save, this every year more days in the year. That is a realy massiv change for me. This knowledge gave me a key out of a cage. That I believed never get out of. But now I feel, it's like there is a door open. And it's my decision if I want to go in or out. Thanks!

[@Elbalchc]

Totally resonate with the information in this discussion… TY both🤝🤝

[@juliadordoni1244]

I'm very grateful for the information you provide online. Thank you

[@shazzjustice2457]

I like this mans smile! You make me smile... lol! I love this...

[@houdamad2469]

Thank you 🙏🏻.

[@dawsonpenner2331]

Another fantastic video Dr’s! So amazing. Such an honor to learn from you both and for you to put this content out on KZbin! So much good information and it’s helping so many people like myself recover and become self love abundant! Looking forward to reading bob’s book as well after finishing human magnet syndrome! Looking forward to more videos and self healing! The process never stops! There’s always more to learn! Bless you both!

[@marciamelanson3997]

This is giving me hope ❤

[@ronbarton3260]

This talk is so informative. Thanks for all y'all!:)

[@breakthroughmoment1647]

Insightful talk. Really enjoyed it. Thank you :)

[@deniselynettenewell7668]

Love the talk

[@haihai5293]

Super, going to watch it.

[@sunshinenyc007]

Love this Ross 👍❤

[@kvr6869]

You guys are awesome.

[@celestinacampuzano5001]

Where do I start to heal myself how can I identify my inner problems I feel I have that keeps me in toxic relationship.. 😔 😕 I just want to fix myself fix my life. I want to recognize my own faults . I want to fix my life. I'm tired of feeling like I'm drowning in self pitty n never good enough for anyone 😪

[@yourheartknowstruenorth4882]

You wanting to identify your inner problems is a great start!! Meditation/Journaling can be great....sending you love💌

[@lynepickens4522]

Thank you

[@Sonanddaughters1]

Love the video the work is hard but it’s liberating

[@FrederiqueBertin]

Doctor did you also try to observe within those coming closer to self love , their heat much more beaten by sympathic nervous system rather than the automatic one ? Those are becoming much more sympathetic ❤

[@davidgoldsberry8230]

Good evening Mr. Rosenberg, I enjoyed listening in on your conversation thank you for sharing. I would like to gain some of your insight into establishing a therapeutic setting in my home state as you have done. Of course I'm not in position to develope such thing but I have and want to continue suggesting filling the void of codependency recovery within state of Kansas. So far I have found no therapist in two mental health catchments.

[@dawnzbytovsky1072]

I made a decision to stay away from my narcissist father, but my brother is trying to tell me that I need to make the changes, and I said the change I am making is not to associate with my dad anymore as I an not getting any love from him, so why would I continue with the mental abuse. It's different for the boys, I was the first born that was an accident, and then they had two more boys, and my dad told my middle brother he didn't want kids...and then our mom left when I was 14, and I took care of my brothers, and also started dating and married the guy I had been seeing as I think I was looking for someone to love and take care of me, that lasted two years, then I started seeing someone else and married them, still looking for someone to love, but yet he was a last born, and was used to being babies, so that marriage didn't work either, only thing was we had an amazing son that loves me with no avail. I've never healed from my childhood trauma.

[@celestinacampuzano5001]

I feel so uncomfortable around people I feel like they see my faults n see me as strange or weird . Ik they see I'm uncomfortable around people. It's hard to join in conversations.. I don't know how to connect w people anymore. So I stay alone cause the anxiety is so intense I leave so upset w myself asking myself when r u ever going to b normal like everyone else . Why can't u ever enjoy conversations why are you so weird 💔😔😳

[@barry5265]

Totally get what you're saying

[@milapopovich6819]

Simply great! Thank you!

[@cd2437]

Very hard when you’re doing the healing work but your narc spouse is not, he thinks he’s changing but not really, it’s not lasting. I may need to move on.

[@kristina2838]

Thank you very much for this information! 🙏

[@zion176]

Great information!

[@lulumoon6942]

Narcissists and alcoholics are sooooo similar!

[@gtohenry6469]

Thank you so much for this, live locally and reading Roberts book now. Love your book as well!

[@tigan427299]

I've been alone for a decade... even while I was married, divorced, my crap choice in partners...its been a hard one to figure out. Just saw your video today. I've been healing for about 1.5 yrs. I figured it was something from childhood. I know my parents love me and are there for me. But I'm used to doing things solo, and they're opinions feel like half hearted responses... for example, "you Need to just let it go" then changes topic... cool...don't know how to do that...I need help.

[@sky-son]

You want to protect your heart

[@haihai5293]

Thank you for this interview, great job :)

[@carlamurphy7541]

Can you be personality disordered and codependent....I'm bpd and I wondered this. I do have insight into my deep seated issues in relationship

[@amandalangston188]

Is it normal with the SLDD to feel violently sick when they come to the realization that the spouse of 27 years is a covert narc?

[@tam_anet]

Finally an answer to why I attract narcissist. Are you accepting new clients definitely want to work with you personally?

[@irinamladenoska7539]

Do you have a course for recovering from codependency?

[@cameron529]

How do u know what your boundaries are?????????

[@FrederiqueBertin]

The sooner we are forced to integrate into a sick society , the harder it will be lucid . My brother and I were born between parents who ran away from family . So we already did not have to integrate too much pressure of family . We grew into a place where nobody talked our langage so that we didn't integrate with kids trough intellect matters . And later on we were brought into a school were they all came from different countries so that it also helps in a way . Nothing has been perfect but the later you identify with intellect , the better it is for to heal later on .

[@HueManConsciousness]

with all dear respect to both, in my perception I see 2 Dudes wanting to propagate their books ... not with bad intent ... but nevertheless it is what it is to me. When you say a healed heart is able to manage red flags in real time, I am telling you from the heart "You both show red flags in this video" Its in my eyes not a wise decision or dogma if you will, to see EVERYTHING through the lense of Narcissism/Codependency. Its just words inflationary used for specific behaviour, when in reality "Personality Disorder" is not even a thing. Its merely a respond of a traumatized Psyche. Its a traumatized Personality. Not a Personality Disorder ! To heal from these Trauma is much easier than Mainstream Psychologie believes. Its Forgiveness ! Forgiveness for Self and Forgiveness for Other Self. Thats it ! As stated in the Bible "Forgive them for they dont know what they Do"

[@dwaynesgirl6117]

What are your thoughts on Sherri Papini?

[@nathalielachance1470]

I think I’m both

[@northpole4592]

Hi! Thanks a lot 🌺 I am trying to find the post/vídeo about how to choose the right therapist. I think I saw It but I cannot remember the title of if It was on your website. It would be very useful. Thank you in advance

[@RossRosenberg]

Hello, you may be thinking about my 4.5-hour seminar, Buyers Guide to Psychotherapy, which is available at the following link: www.selfloverecovery.com/products/the-buyers-guide-to-psychotherapy I hope it helps!

[@northpole4592]

@@RossRosenberg yes, exactly! Thank you so much! I want to see if nearby is an option, although my intuition tells me to choose the best ( specialized, meaning you ), and heal quick if possible. I do not fancy being, 5-10-15-20 years more, suffering, my heart cannot do it. These videos are VERY GOOD. Putting people in the right track. I did not go before to look for help because I suspected It would be harmful, happily I found your videos so I can confirm all I though and I was not sure of It. Thank you again and again 👌🌺👍💯💥

[@theexistenshield]

where's the comment with the takeaways?

[@SA-ww1ge]

I’m the only one good for me

[@irinamladenoska7539]

Woooooowwwwwww!

[@cheripitout3273]

Oh you check comments 👀 where do I send that letter to? if I'm like really traumatized can you help me for free? I'm completely broken and need some help.

[@SendItForward]

Can't explain it but I absolutely HATE the piano keys played in this video and cannot keep hearing it.

[@SA-ww1ge]

The ones I left behind r not willing or able to take responsibility. Im so tired of therapist w agenda of let’s all get along, if only im mother Theresa they’ll behave. Itll never happen w pathological personalities

[@icme8761]

How can you talk about what you need to a narcissist?

[@juliesheard2122]

could a codependant team up with a psychopath? Not a murderous one, just a very manipulative, mildly criminal etc. Would it turn out differently to a co-dependancy with a covert narcisist and in what way?

[@hugmc]

The devil is a devil just differently flavours but still detrimental too are good health

[@Starlightndust]

All psychopaths are Narcissists.

[@djjustice3244]

ROSS IS CODEPENDENCY AS DEADLY AS ALCOHOL OR DRUG ADDICTION TOO?

[@grabbelton]

Yes, ultimately, it can be.

[@grabbelton]

Too much love will kill you.

[@annastone5624]

Piano is too loud..

[@cheripitout3273]

😇

[@naturewoman6277]

How Come I Cant Find The Notification Bell On Your Page!?🤭💦

[@naturewoman6277]

*😱💦

[@mac-ju5ot]

Help I need ur advice he held me in a chair for give .I Ute's spit I to my face ive lost thd frie d ship be ause he said I WS who by.. Its MIT working at all I. Fine .y dr us saying to try a miriad of drugs yo get to sleep..they get angry if I am just me. . I'm a trained wx counselor everything I fo bothers others.I did nothing wrong my dad use until tells ma me whiny.I'm not putting up with he is narrituve.

[@tanyakashyap6944]

💜💜❤️💜💜 👠

[@loveurself1197]

Y u seem high all the time

[@bobc9786]

lol

[@jennyquezada9644]

Because he loves himself.