Withstanding the Narcissist Storm - Don't Get Sucked Back In!

[@FundingAnimals]

A simple yet powerful technique. “Observe, don’t absorb” helped me regain my life and my sanity 5 years ago. Thank you. ❤

[@janicebeauchamp61]

Don't ever unblock him! Stop thinking about him. It takes time. You are an amazing healing individual who is brave. It takes time to fix what happened. You got this. ❤

[@HUYI1]

Nah, they follow as a persist no matter what, I can't speak too much in my situation where I was made homeless and had nothing but the clothes on my back, it's not a dam joke, I wish this platform understood this reality that woman go through

[@maureensheppard3613]

​@@HUYI1sooo sorry for you,& I pray you back what was taken from you.Horrible evil people. They want to destroy you in every way. R

[@sabine1768]

I just went through such a narcissistic storm and stood my ground. After discarding me and going back to his ex wife he tried for four month with all means to get me to accept just being an affair and to cater to his needs on his terms. He blew up my phone, sent endless messages, pulled on my heartstrings and pushed every button. He even threated with suicide. I argued, I explained, I talked many hours with him. In vain. So I blocked him. This was the hardest thing I have ever done and I still cry for him every day. But I love me more than I love him. I can't be his toy, doormat, shoulder to cry on, side kick, ... I told him I have had enough. Silence now for one month.

[@tiffanyannhowe1712]

6 months ago I declared my intentions for divorce. The roller coaster is wilder than ever before. He has yet to accept this and move out. I am learning every tool I can. I didn’t realize this was a thing so many people endured. Have felt so alone and isolated for years. Without a name for this horror I was left in the fog. I will keep weathering the storm. So many tools to use. The days are counting down. He will have to leave eventually. No matter how he behaves. I love my own self ENOUGH to hold this line. 🖤

[@HUYI1]

I hope you get out like I did but I will tell you now, it's not the end, your PTSD and anxiety and trust issues will catch up to you on this note!

[@HUYI1]

Excuse me for the updated post, the AI or something deleted everything I said, hope you could read it and get some inspiration to escape your abuse, this platform is unforgiving

[@tiffanyannhowe1712]

@ my ever trusty side kicks 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@HUYI1]

​@@tiffanyannhowe1712 is your dam self! Remember that! ❤

[@tiffanyannhowe1712]

@@HUYI1 thank you for the encouragement. Thank you for speaking up and letting me know I’m not alone. 🖤

[@CharlesBukowski-m1o]

2:20 "..and therefore they don't go to therapy, are NOT open to a mutually satisfying compromise in resolving a problem." I don't even think that the "therapy" should be a requirement for this. This is only common sense. If they DON'T have the RESPECT to do that by themselves, you GO WHEN you know! Yet you say it PERFECTLY, Dr Ross, here. I'm just covering other situations where therapy should not even be required. Great take, nevertheless, Dr Ross! (I'm just covering all angles so that people don't get STUCK like I used to be.)

[@jennifer78756]

I agree dissociating can help to see things objectively

[@jillplott4986]

Good to see you again Ross!

[@SirenaSpades]

It is so weird that they think doing really horrible things to a person, would get that person back...??? Makes no sense. I prefer flowers and candy, thanks. Not calling the cops on me.

[@mvbigmagic4048]

It's evidence that they truly have NO EMPATHY. Because if they did have empathy they would understand that calling the cops on someone will NOT win their heart back. Emotionally tone deaf. I hope you have escaped for good!

[@Godislovee91]

I think I saw you at the DMV about a week ago. I wanted to chat, but I think you were in a rush! Love your videos!!

[@susannay.3437]

I wouldn't feel safe telling him I don't feel safe with him. I probably need to leave quietly without openly setting "boundaries." I think that's kinda what you mean by not engaging.

[@StylezMajorMusic]

What about when the sdl gets discarded, and then we reverse hoover trying to get the narc back? But they won't give you closure?

[@chrispyd603]

It’s hard because I feel like my ex was a narc but I broke up with her after she treated me horribly, then begged for her back and probably ran through some of those steps.

[@chrispyd603]

But I think I as a SLD was addicted to her validation and was beaten down. I found a moment of strength when I told her we need space. After the breakup felt like she was shaking me down me for money, guilting me for never giving her enough 🤦‍♀️ and I was so addicted and afraid of being alone that I went through some steps I’m not proud of.

[@chrispyd603]

Because she was telling me that stuff, and then I’d even offer giving her more money (please don’t judge) because that’s what she was saying was an issue. Wild. 33 year old woman, I’m 25, and she took me for a ride on god. So mad at myself

[@Truth-matters-v2z]

With all due respect. I was in therapy for years, describing my experience and my therapist did not pick up on the very many textbook characteristics I was dealing with with my husband. Secondly, my husband is in therapy and certainly putting on his mask there so telling a narcissist to go to therapy when most therapist can’t identify the conditionand especially when the client is hiding, it is not going to help and my understanding is that most narcissist will not change since they are only looking to shift blame and responsibility and blame the victim And since victims display reactive abuse, it certainly sounds to those on the outside that the victim is the perpetrator. Plus you can never go to couples therapy with narcissist for the same reason This condition is such a mindf%#^

[@HUYI1]

Let's keep it simple, no one cares, I wasn't married when I left him after 13 years and the police did nothing to help, I lost everything I had, my pets, my clothes, my belongings and I did everything I could in my power to escape him in desperation outside London with some people could never experience and I was put in a point of trying to escape this MONSTER with what I had at the time, it was not enough and I don't want to go into detail how I felt in desperation of finding a place to live when nothing in the UK garbage system, I called so many numbers of 60 plus and they all refused to help, you know what made me still alive today? To the point I can wake up and live my life? Hope, ambition and dreams to what I want to do in my silver years away from any man in my vicinity! I deserve that peace and I have been thinking about it recently, I hope this post can be seen by someone without been deleted

[@Truth-matters-v2z]

@@HUYI1 I'm so sorry. Just know you're not alone and you're not crazy. Hugs

[@HUYI1]

​@@Truth-matters-v2z I know! I'm still here and living my life no worries ❤❤ thanks

[@That_Handle]

👂🤔 Have been perceiving such a need for recalibrating my ~[reappraisal mechanism] and pursuant mindset with actions reflecting transcendence. 🙏Thank you for the (re-)review, expansion.

[@victorsc66]

Most awesome doctor got every book buying it now. Hank you

[@martialmusic]

how about "self love sufficient" as opposed to 'self love abundant' - the abundant word sounds rather narcissistic itself 🙂

[@CharlesBukowski-m1o]

As long as you're not that SNOWFLAKE who gets offended about normal language... You know what I mean?

[@jayjaychadoy9226]

Valuable due to self love?

[@martialmusic]

@@jayjaychadoy9226 I meant sufficient as opposed to excess self love

[@Mattheus217]

I think self love abundance is a perfect way to say it. There’s nothing wrong with seeking to be healthy and whole, and to do good things for yourself. It’s not selfish or narcissistic, it’s called caring well for yourself. Healthy self care and compassion. You’re not a robot This is something that a narcissistic person will try to guilt you and make you feel bad for, doing good things for yourself When you have this abundance, then it overflows, and you are able to give love to others. Like they tell you on the airplane, put your oxygen mask on first before you help somebody else if you don’t have anything to give, you can’t really help anybody else. This is opposed to being deficient and when you feel like you just need to take and take because you’re empty inside You cannot pour from empty cup as Lisa Romano says Focusing on abundance in many aspects of your life helps you to be a more powerful and good person, you’re not a burden or drain, and you’re better able to positively impact the people around you When you are in a relationship with a person who will use guilt, shame, or scolding to make you feel bad about taking care of yourself, that’s a problem. Perhaps as you improve, they’re feeling like you’re making them look bad and they want to pull you down and trip you up. Speaking from experience. Each day I pray for the healthy balance of self love abundance, the proper amount so it’s not to the extreme.

[@jayjaychadoy9226]

Thanks for this. Im pretty sure i was here earlier.

[@dezly-macauley]

If anyone can give me an insight to what the heck I just experienced this year I would be greateful. I had a mentor who seemed like he was on my side but it turned out he had an agenda was never really listening to the struggles I was facing (Trying to immigrate to Japan from a third world country) I cut contact with him after he ran his mouth online talking about how "I don't take action" and summed up one of the most difficult years of my life. I told him that he was given personal information that I never should have opened up to him about. He replied with some gaslighting crap about "tough love". I went no-contact and simply stopped responding. (I did not block him). He tries to phone me several months later, I missed his call so I sent a short message that I had received his call. Nothing else.Then I believe he blocked me 🤷🏾‍♂️ Either way good riddance

[@CharlesBukowski-m1o]

I had a male friend, that I kind of looked up too, who did the same thing to me recently. I just went silently NO CONTACT a few days ago. They were sneaking in passive-aggressive comments about how I supposedly should be doing things and be trying to say it both ways. As the band Boston sang, "Don't Look Back"! I'm FED UP and done with that too

[@dezly-macauley]

@@CharlesBukowski-m1o Do the passive aggressive comments usually come through when you start making progress on something? Maybe its just paranoia but I feel like some people are only friends with you when you are down, the second you start persuing your goals without compromise. That's when they their bs starts.

[@Feet_on_the_ground]

24 of 25 mins self advertising

[@caroleclark9786]

You sure about that?