Fake Growth vs Real Growth - What If You're Just Tricking Yourself?

Learn to distinguish between real inner growth and fake growth in personal development.
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[@AaronDoughty44]

I notice if I become too attached to the future it takes away from the present moment. I think its a balance of being present in the moment and then taking action and having a desire for progression. Great video Leo.

[@zeedo666]

I think desire is still a bad thing. We should just do things without desiring their bringing us whatever at all. The word "progression" in itself is a trap because it forces you to make comparison. When you compare, you judge, when you judge you're fucked.

[@l0wbtry]

It can also be de-motivating because you'll just start thinking how far it is.

[@connorgreenwell3121]

@@zeedo666 How does one improve if you cannot compare yourself to who you were before?

[@beepbeepimasheep2956]

Lmao i know that name glad to see the connection between you two

[@alexandersutveckling8302]

@@zeedo666 Desire is your spirit wanting to express itself

[@jamaalcrawford8585]

This man is saving lives.

[@ahmadabuamra8766]

This man is brutal at getting deep at psyches!!!

[@wowalhamdhulillah2494]

brother Leo is awesome

[@howardalbertsen5870]

💯

[@vrstovsek]

This reminds me on one of the best quotes:"If you are not ashamed of a person you were a year ago, you're not growing enough, you're not pushing yourself hard enough"

[@bjornironborn8967]

+vrstovsek amen

[@Lotlus]

why would you to spend your time being ashamed of the past though?

[@01234cinco]

it's a fancily-written quote, not literal advice...

[@mindfull2199]

then you are linked with the wrong quotes and you got the wrong idea because its about living the present more and just let things go by focusing on what you want not what the external world gives you the idea what you want. pushing yourself is like the super ego telling you what you should do and that makes you even feel worse. its really simple : live present its something so simpel yet so hard for some people.

[@zeedo666]

Dude, this quote is all wrong. Guilt and shame are garbages fed to us by dellusional society!

[@katierose1893]

26:38 Real growth isn't about getting what you want externally, but about releasing the need for it internally

[@karthi1834]

Perfect essence of this speech. Thank you for posting, Thank you Leo

[@anuksi_si]

Sometimes getting what you need is the best way to understand that you don't need it at all to be happy. For me it often works this way

[@UnEquEl]

This is so true, the problem will never go away until you address it specifically. For example: You're worried about people not liking you. Result: You put on a fake persona to be liked. (Meanwhile deep inside you are not happy because you know you're faking it and kills you slowly cause you aren't truly happy even though you practically got what you wanted - acceptance.) To truly fix the problem you need to let go of the belief that you are not a likable person and just let go of the thought in general that you are not a likable person and eliminate it from your reality in general. Release the need to be accepted internally and just do 'you' instead.

[@itaynevo4353]

Thee'Unequeltv How would you stop worrying about no being liked? You can't just stop thinking about it.

[@monicacalais1039]

Perfect summary

[@shevanoorda7252]

It gives so much freedom to not care what ppl think

[@rina337]

I can not say enough to express how grateful I am to watch your videos for free! Thank you Leo for making me a better person!

[@bendemare5270]

For *helping you to be a better personn,to *contribuate to your personnal growth,you wanna say?

[@jolinreintjes5421]

I feel the same!!!

[@OoSingeroO]

I totally agree. I'd be nothing without people like him.

[@wowalhamdhulillah2494]

I am leos big fan I am super lucky that Allah have given me the opportunity to meet such kind of wise person.These leos content is so good.thank you boss

[@wowalhamdhulillah2494]

same from me Leo is boss good,wise person .Alhamdhulillah

[@leonwillett4645]

It took me 6 or 7 LONG roads of success to realize that when you get there you brought "you" with you, and it still sucks :) There is nothing wrong with success per se, but it won't make you happy the way you think it will. What makes you unhappy is not your lack of success, it is your need for success in the first place. Please love yourself right now (this takes actual work; work that feels both tiring and scary... with a typical upbringing you don't have the tools to love yourself yet... Leo is a great start)

[@nivi-nikolehicks7495]

I have been following you for a few months now but by far this is the most powerful video I've seen in the series. I've lived in the lie of fake growth for 8 years and it's left me with heartbreak and emptiness. I want to thank you so much for this particular video. You've saved me from myself numerous times, but this video, you gave me another chance at life.

[@ActualizedOrg]

Sweet!

[@joshabernathy972]

Wow that almost made me tear up. Good for you. Keep growing.

[@jessechambers4603]

idk his ZEN DEVIL vid is good too kzbin.info/www/bejne/sGOlkJhoabp9n5o

[@thomasparg1981]

Im like that guy who "works at home". I got big social anxiety issues (it started after making some big changes in my life) and im very good at convincing myself that i dont need any social interactions.I think personal development is like an escape for me in many ways.its like im saying to myself "i dont need anyone or anything else other than daily personal growth".But now after year and a half of personal development im starting to see this is not the way to do it,got to find my way back into the society as the new me.

[@casparswahn48]

+Thomas Evolve I feel ya!

[@krazyy9967]

How did u do it

[@jess_alchemiss]

I have been putting off watching this video because I knew instinctively that I've been fake growing. Time to dig deep. Thanks Leo

[@wadereinhart8649]

How is it that you always seem to put out videos that address the most pressing issues in my life. You have changed me so much Leo, for the better

[@johncraven3382]

Leo, u talk 90% truth and 10% crap. That makes you one of best thinkers/gurus I have encountered in lifetime. Thank you.

[@sorenkierkegaard4598]

What's the 10% crap? I doubt that there is any

[@coppersky]

🤣 that’s funny. But for real Leo is OG

[@Anish-A-Vector]

U don't have a brain.

[@kelvinisfree2848]

Now I really understand what Tyler Durden meant by "Self-improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction is the answer." Oh boy, do I have a lot of work to do... Thanks Leo.

[@ActualizedOrg]

+Kelvin is Free You could say that self-improvement IS self-destruction.

[@amberevol]

Or Self deconstruction* 🔥

[@sabaca304]

I am amazed by how focused I am when I am watching your video. Before I didn't think that I would watch a video of someone talking for 40 minutes. But with your videos I do it without even noticing how time passes.

[@chrissa1896]

+Sabaca I feel the same way. Even when I get very unfocused and cought in really exhausting thinking over the course of several days, I just need to watch some of his videos and I get kicked back on track. Amazing how this works.

[@Jonathanmentor]

fantastic something I have personally experienced. This relates so much to men who get into pick-up artistry. I love that your videos are long and full of value.

[@jag831]

Don't worship them. They are friends. Take their advice. Thank them for what they have offered you.

[@zeedo666]

Johny Berba's here too! :D

[@hardikjain7063]

Life belongs to those who give no fucks.

[@bendemare5270]

kinda

[@GurdeepSinghDyal]

Hardik Jain totally!

[@Raziel-mq3fn]

Enlightment --- Not giving a fuck at the deepest level of being.

[@tirtunemdouq]

My biggest problem in life is that I don't have anyone around me to talk about 'deep' topics with. If only I had a friend I could share this kind of stuff with...but I don't...

[@vidavegana]

Hey thanks for sharing! Needed a reality check actually. It´s so easy to fall into the ego trap, huh? Singning to your newsletter casue I "need" (lol) some tools and guidance to keep myself aware of the ego. Much love and thx again :)

[@maxwillson]

You hit it on the target again! Now when I think about it, I succeed more when I don't even stress about something! I succeed more when I have the balls to actually face an issue and fail until I succeed at it. It's very easy to mask a problem, it's extremely hard to admit you did the wrong thing and learn it the right way. Well said.

[@juliapierce7137]

Ugh Leo I love and hate you right now. I've made real growth, I think. But not as MUCH real growth as I thought especially in my depression/anxiety and addictions... my distractors are higher quality and the problems are less frequent.. but the tendancy to lapse back into old habits tells me you are right. As does my deisre to swear when watching this video. Something in me hates it. which means its dead on.

[@idan7989]

Your egoic defence walls

[@coppersky]

I feel you on that 💯

[@Shaybay922]

Leo, just want to say I think it is great that you record your videos in full. It makes them seem more honest. I'm tired of seeing videos where every 1 second has been edited because god forbid someone might judge the person in the video for stumbling over a word or showing their bad side... Thank you for your ongoing honesty and groundedness. It is such a breath of fresh air to watch your videos.

[@JacobslifeinVegas]

This might be my favorite video of yours. You already do a good job with taking a massive amount of information and condensing down to something that is easily consumable. However, the points you made and the examples you gave were absolutely perfect in helping illustrate the points you were making. Thank you Leo

Well said man. You really know how to put the finger on the sore wound. Thank you for making me realise the basic fundaments.

[@MrJonahinawhale]

You deserve so many more subscribers, you've helped me realize a lot of things I'm doing wrong in my life. Good thing I caught the fake growth as I'm young

[@user-jh7ni3jd8d]

At the beginning this video hurt my feelings, so rage quit at 9mins and went to bed, I woke up my friend persuaded me to watch it and this is one of my fav video's. I was even scared to click on the video at first because I wanted live in the illusion that I was actually progressing, but I had the courage to watch till the end. I want a cookie.

[@ranzkafka8382]

+zakariya mohamud good job :)

[@zinqtable1092]

Hey! Don't forget!

[@bendemare5270]

Great,muhammud,you had courage! keep it up!You can do it!

[@doroteakasum3012]

🍪

[@jolinreintjes5421]

Cookie = achievement, but here your cookie! 😂😂😂 you are doing it for yourself! It sounds now ironical but I mean it seriously!🍪🍪🍪🍪

[@heyprocat5182]

I see soo much of me in fake growth.. now I understand.. love you man! Great-full to have come across your page.. you helping me out alot. 🙏🏽

[@Maymuna_]

Wow thank you for this, I've found this quite beneficial. Its added clarity to and reminded me of a verse in the Quran I think of quite often and I'm realizing how little I understand it! "Indeed, God will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves." -Surah Ar-Rad, 13:11 [Quran] #viciouscycle #neuroticpatterns #illusions #internalissues #externalachievements #frightening #deeplevel #awareness

[@victoriareid460]

Leo's voice is so soothing, and calm. It doesn't matter what video I'm watching, his voice instantly relaxes me and grabs my attention so I can try to get everything I can from his videos... just thank you for what you do Leo, I need these videos.

[@unlostm8]

I love this tough love. Gonna set a reminder to keep coming back to this one. If you're reading this and don't already set reminders on your mac, please start, it'll keep you in check.

[@RaffaellaIT]

So true! In my younger years,I had huge eating problems ( even with no weight gain) and tried everything, from dieting, to crazy exercising, to fasten to other fancy stuff. One day, I realized that I ate to cover unpleasant feelings; once I knew I had to feel them and not avoid them, eating problems vanished. I am healthy and fit, enjoy every meal and let myself feel bad feeling as well, when they show up!

[@MEYOUUS60]

I cannot thank you enough for all the support you provide. Been following you for about six months now and already I am feeling so much more free in myself, hard work though and not one person even understands why I 'bother' doing all this inner work, ha ha. PS: still learning on being able to read others' comments without getting wound up, lol.

[@brittanywindham1619]

I’m so happy I found you. Writing some of your words down tonight 💛 you are inspiring and I am grateful. I will always be watching your videos!

[@ahmadabuamra8766]

I discovered your channel just over 2 weeks ago, and you made such a huge impact on my personal development!!! Thank you!!!💎

[@looknowtv]

Heeeeey this is Leo!=Awesome!

[@Gazic]

Truth! It's amazing to see how you've grown yourself, Leo, over the last couple of years.

[@miguelito6838]

Awesome teaching Leo! This may help keep me alive literally..I’m so exhausted with everything and this has given me real hope for real change...internal change

[@puhkaberik1356]

You talk so much truth all the time. I've realized this thing kind of too. But you put it so well and easy to grasp.

[@tombellair]

LEO, WTF. This message is awesome. Are you channelling this stuff? You are so compassionate and real. You really have a talent for this human condition. I say a HUGE THANK YOU! Best to you, TOM

[@nethravasuki8843]

I really feel happy for the time I spent on this video. Leo, you are just awesome.

[@fundakindaday7225]

Thanks for posting these. You have a awesome way of putting into words things I feel, but don't know how to say. Alot of what you say resonates with me, and every time I see myself become more aware of why I do things, and that gives me more power in making real change, growth, and ultimately happiness.

[@terriesmith1981]

Another great video, Leo! I really appreciate it. Facing issues head on will always help in life vs. masking it.

[@182guns]

You saved me from emotional roller-coasters. God bless you man.

[@5starjonny467]

Leo once again you have read my mind, thank you for your wisdom!

[@omaradham5772]

You are saving my life man! I hope I manage to workout the willpower and practice the solutions externally and with people which is the most difficult part for me. I think you're an angel! this video was insanely good!

[@shinseiisei]

I like it, you're telling people to treat the problem instead of just treating the symptoms.

[@MirraHays]

This path of deep transformational growth I have started a couple years ago when I started a gap year after high school graduation. Most of this time my intuition has told me that this is important so I have disconnected from the external world a lot more to then reprogram myself on my own terms. Now I am at a stage where I am slowly re-integrating into the "external world" by going to college and soon a job. I have learned many things but most of them I can't put to words as clearly as you have put here because they are more of a feeling. This video helped me put more words to why I am where I am and why I am doing what I am doing. I am faced with more controversy about what I have been doing and am still doing when I talk to more people, which calls for a more strongly defined explanation of what I am doing, to not get sucked into their perception of me. Thanks for this video, and I am so grateful that I have followed my intuition (and plan to continue) ^_^

[@manning9537]

Thank you so much, Leo. This was exactly what I needed to hear!

[@gatesboy7645]

Hey Leo for real you are the fucking king of self development, you have the most quality content I've ever seen

[@thiagogralha7975]

That was the most intense change that I've gone through till now, the concept of identity. I believe today that egocentrical problems are the most common and central personal issue of our society, it is everywhere. Love to watch you talking about that. Till the next topic.

[@Occasionalsogrady]

This by far one of my favorite videos from you. Thank you so much !!!

[@rajavanya]

Thanks for another amazing video. You are staying true to what you sell, which is keeping me on track, and its like the opposite force of the society and social programming that keeps happening to me.

[@AleksanderVitkin]

Incredible deep and long content from you, fantastic topic today as well. Looking forward to the next video.

[@cyvezant5515]

thank you Leo your videos are the deepest about psychology and self developpement. you bring a real new vision about that.

[@isaijimenez3289]

I really want to thank you for this channel. Specially, for this video because I feel this is the core of the change that I need. All this was mind-blowing. Although I already knew some of this, you slapped in the face and throughly explained it to me. It was a wake up call. Now I truly believe I can change my life (well... change myself) 'cause now I have a good starting point. I'm definitely watching more of your videos. Thank you very much again!

[@kaushu42]

This was the exact thought that I have when I am working on improving myself. I feel like I'm making progress but I can't evaluate whether that's progress or I'm just deceiving myself. Thanks for talking about it Leo!

[@allisonmae3445]

THANK YOU!!!! I've really been trying to live this. And I think in general, I do. But I've been trying to work on one thing in particular the past couple months, and the past week and a half or so, I feel myself really slipping into this idea of "fake growth." And I know I'm doing it. I see it. I know where the real growth would take place. But goddammit; it's so hard sometimes. Thank you for the reminder and the push in the right direction.

[@ridhajawad]

This is so moving Leo, you are honestly saving lives.

[@MrFuzzyscreen]

thank you leo, You helped me realize why I like spending time thinking about things that are more abstract and learning more about myself. I enjoy spending time alone because I feel like I am growing in doing so. I appreciate your words of wisdom.

[@andymeissner8727]

only an hour a week? I watch and rewatch old videos sometimes multiple a day. In 6 months i have made leaps and bounds personally. Love this video because it proved to me that i really am growing. Thank you Leo.

[@andreias5564]

Léo you are great giving advice !!! thank you !! When I started to feel better and do Meditation (Inner Work) i left my boyfriend - which was a ''fake growth'' one. I was wirh him because I was afraid of being alone. Afraid of being alone with myself. Now i feel much better. I am not needy anymore.

[@cyrinenaji9765]

leo thank you! I really needed to learn this it's by far the most educating and inspiring video you've uploaded

[@user-jh2ox8ix5b]

Real growth isn't about changing who you are. It's about discovering who is the real you, by doing deep inner work and slowly letting your gentle light of your true self come out again. It's about changing and removing from your life and personality all the things you are not. There isn't a single reason to be scared of the resolt of the change, because your core stays the same. You are just letting yourself to be who you are. The real you instead of the former fake you.

[@LightBringer17]

wow! it was really eyes-opening for me! Was in deep fake growth, but I understand it and will change it from now.. Thank You Leo!

[@ojthesimpson35]

I may just be going through a self imposed bad time but I feel like this guy was talking directly too me. great advice.

[@BeyBoost]

Wow. I just found out this channel and this first video was an eye-opener. Looking forward to the journey with you.

[@ozuoozuo705]

Hi, Leo! I have watched almost all your videos in Actualized.com. Honestly, I just want to say: you do a great work picking up serious topics and suggesting unique approaches of dealing with them. This is powerful. This is worth doing it. You stimulate to see the world in its whole diversity. You ideas are profound, mature, wise, compact and inspiring. Your passion to learning such complicated issues allows to identify and afterwards to realize human potential. To feel the life. The ways you deliberately analyzed the palpitating human beings' mental and emotional problems and shared with people make me think completely in a different way: considerably deeper not being satisfied with top-iceberg answers. There are so many inner and external stereotypes, that rule our lives... With your help, I systematically eliminate the shit and the adverse effects of ego out of my life. The first time I saw your video I said: this skinny and bald egg-head man seems to be so miserable and incompetent. I was totally wrong. You are highly mature, you are highly developed. It is interesting to what extent you implement your concepts beyond the camera and black t-shirt. Not theoretical aspect, but in real life. Skill, practice, dealing with reacting environment. Let me ask you: Are you happy? I know that it is so general question and the answer is mainly depended on the concrete situation and daily feelings. but though, Leo, are you happy?

[@MIK_edits]

One question: How do you make these long videos and look at the camera all the time without cuts?

[@RaGePr00fs]

+MikkroBitti passion for his work

[@yasseryasso9000]

+MikkroBitti because he love so much what he is doing :)

[@thebeesknees1505]

+MikkroBitti - Lots of practice, being very comfortable with the subject and lots of preparation in advance. I suspect he creates an outline in advance and has that and any quotes in front of him.

[@heisveis3534]

+MikkroBitti I've been wondering about that aswell. My guess is that it's free talk. He knows his stuff so well that he can just talk about it. He might be putting down some points before the making of the video, though.

[@shitmandood]

+MikkroBitti He's in a flow state.

[@onelove2890]

Leo, in watching this clip, I felt like you were speaking directly to me in some aspects. My finding of your works is definitely what I need to help guide me on this journey of mine. Thank you :)

[@Gotta270101]

This is very useful, thank you. I'm forcing myself, I'm getting success, but I'm still feeling insecure anytime it comes again. Fake growth, this is brilliant!

[@ndeyedelgado1764]

THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU, PLEASE DON'T EVER STOP DOING THIS WORK!!!!!!!

[@animaloc3o]

Insightful , so many truths . It is definitely interesting this internal journey of self and how easy it can be to get lost and as you said tricked by the external .Grateful for this it was much needed. Thank you

[@Beiskraft]

Leo you're a god man. I just wrote to myself in my journal. It is hard to explain but what it is; it's coming home, doing your destiny, peace of mind and it's heal all these neuroses we have. It became my impression that it is necessary to live an authentic life.

[@epoyworld]

this is a strike lightning wisdom to me. I was like "yeah of course , it's all about the emotions release". Leo hit the point again, and it will be my treasure for the rest of my life:)

[@grandpa58]

Thank you for this explanation and analysis. It was really clear and delivered with plenty of conviction. Definitely had an impact on me!

[@riandoris]

Leo what are you're thoughts on psychotherapy? Isn't the right kind of psychotherapy one of the best tools to overcome "root issues"? Why don't you speak about it much at all even though many of you're videos seem to speak about issues that psychotherapy could heal?

[@ActualizedOrg]

+Rian Doris Sure, therapy and coaching are great ways to do real growth.

[@lesliecano5723]

Really needed go hear this today Thank you for being you Leo! You’re awesome

[@naghmehnajafizadeh6357]

Thanks Leo. This video really help me to answer many questions in my mind. I will watch this again, note and thinking deeply about my actions and thoughts.

[@smilebabyitsamy]

Leo you are so woke. This video really helped me distinguish whether or not I'm on the right path to reshaping my character, and you've reassured me that I indeed am, while also teaching me other points to keep in mind while I'm on this journey. Keep being awesome!

[@doctornazgul547]

Excellent video Leo. Parts of it reminded me of Ellis's 'How to be happy and much less disturbance.' Solid hands on advice I like that.

[@asylumman6769]

These videos should get more views, thanks Leo for helping me better understand my psychology

[@matkolandikusic1810]

This is for sure the best you tube channel Thank you so much!

[@darthnemesis21]

Awesome video Leo. Glad to as your back doing videos again

[@domusic8587]

Great video and a big big respect for your development. You spoke of role model/ idols in your life. You just become mine :D It's really nice to hear how you describe your thoughts/feelings. Your words go directly to my heart. Thank you for all your work! :)

[@trancelabsx]

this is one of your best mate. you are truley great. your work should be teached in schools before its to late for everyone. Thank you so much for what you have done for me.

[@user-er9bh2pk6v]

The most brilliant and amazing video I have ever watched. I'm regretful that I did meet up with it earlier, but I'm really happy to come it cross today. I totally agree with the guy above, "This man is saving lives."

[@MrMamouligan]

Wow! Thanks a lot for this. I have to watch this every single day for awhile to cement it in.

[@DevidVenara]

your smile makes me smile man!!!... Loving every video of yours! thank you!!!

[@pabloZQM]

Hey Leo, you know? I was going to leave you here a lot of questions about this video, it was really enlightening and a little hard to process but you just "permitted" me (in some way, and i'm deeply grateful with you for that) to have a really deep conversation with myself about this particular topic in my life (which is the somewhat the same topic of this video). A talk that was hard with myself and i was procrastinating (for some reason) but that definitely gave me relief. So yeah, no questions asked, just wanted to say thanks a lot for all of this, i think you are making real good with this channel :) keep up the good work, cheers.

[@glennsz]

Man, you've just said everything I need to hear! A GREAT idol!

[@matthewjames4610]

Thank you so much! I came from a bad place and couldn't have escaped it without you.

[@annette454]

PS I love watching your videos. You're making me think. First time I started watching you was about a year ago.. Happy that I did

[@elharrop]

Great video, I've been job hopping for years thinking If i get a better job then my life will be better, I realize now the problem is me.

[@ShalisaCordilia]

This is for the person who actually wants to become the best them they can be. Thank you Leo.

[@zoez8185]

It’s a very important topic, thank you Leo for the clarity that you give us.

[@ganqqwerty]

Thank for the video. This is indeed what's happening in personal development often times.

[@aldomarchand]

Very helpful for all Leo ! I was needing this internal balance technique and this video was really clear about the solutions.

[@01234cinco]

Incredibly powerful video, wish I had forced myself to watch it months ago when I purposefully avoided it. Thank you so much Leo.

[@boiledfrog5739]

i didn't notice that this video is actually 40mins long but after i watched the whole video and i realised these elements are essential to real life problems, I'm so graceful that i can have the chance to hear someone actually know things.

[@jessicavoss3236]

Leo you're awesome I always come back to you when I need a good self kick in the ass thank you you rock!!!!!