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Neuroscientists have discovered that around age ten, puberty spurs the brain to crave socially rewarding experiences, such as pride, admiration, and respect, and to become highly averse to social pain, such as humiliation or shame. As a result, young people are subtly reading between the lines of everything we say, trying to interpret the hidden implications of our words to find out if we are disrespecting or honoring them. Surprisingly, this sensitivity to status and respect continues into the mid-twenties. In his first book, 10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People, acclaimed developmental psychologist David Yeager, Ph.D. (FAN ’16) helps adults develop an ear for the difference between the right and wrong way to respect young people and avoid frustrating patterns of miscommunication and conflict.
Yeager explains how to adopt what he terms the mentor mindset, which is a leadership style attuned to young people’s need for status and respect. Anyone can adopt the mentor mindset by following a few highly effective and easy-to-learn practices such as validating young people’s perspectives (rather than dismissing them), asking them questions (rather than telling them what to do), being transparent about your beliefs and goals (rather than assuming that they will accurately guess your thoughts), and holding them to high standards (rather than coddling them). Yeager’s pioneering research and interventions have shown these practices reduce a wide variety of behavior problems, including school dropout, unhealthy eating, stress, purposelessness, mental health problems, and more.