Fatherhood Is Dying. Men Need A New Purpose.

[@ColeHastings]

Thanks for watching. Visit my sponsor zocdoc.com/cole to easily book local, top-rated doctors who take your insurance.

[@michaelHassler-dl9ux]

in your next video essay can one on Julius Evola and his book Ride the Tiger: A Survival Manual for the Aristocrats of the Soul and Men Among the Ruins: Post-War Reflections of a Radical Traditionalist

[@DayrusBPB]

Cole, have u considered auditioning for the next Evil Dead/Silent Hill movie or VA?

[@TheYeyeMan5000]

Society died a few years ago, everything is just being sustained by algorithms and memes.

[@javierjaime9386]

Thats the reason I deleted my facebook account.Literal zombies

[@mostafasoliman6745]

Hey buddy 👋 Where are you from? Can we be friends with benefits, as I want someone to practice English with?..

[@Swiss816]

Yea we're just waiting for the true end at this point

[@OneNiftyBoi]

@@javierjaime9386 Agreed, Facebook is a straight up AI wasteland KZbin and sometimes Instagram are the only ones I tolerate. Don't get me started on X. LMAO

[@illegalalien6542]

A few years?, more like a decade ago lol...

[@azmodanpc]

My father didn't enjoy Fatherhood. My mother didn't enjoy Motherhood. They mishandled their opportunity and went along with the crowd. Let's not glorify bad parenting by gaslighting those who endured it. If you are able and willing, by all means. Children shouldn't be free labour like in the past.

[@richardscathouse]

Parental licenses and strict genetic hygiene is the solution. Humans should not be rutting animals 😢

[@MJSHorror]

As a male in their freshman year of college, this video has motivated me to keep my major in Psychology in pursuit of becoming a therapist that specializes in helping young men.

[@Namelbmert]

"Their"? How many men are you?

[@jip230]

I’ve said for years that there is a huge need for male therapists. It’s a good field and in private practice you can make a good living doing this work

[@--...--...--...]

I never went to college for it, but regularly study Psych and Philosophy (have since I was 13, now 28). If this is truly what you're interested in, here are 3 things that I'd strongly recommend giving extra attention to/a look at: - Jungian Psychology (men are more visually oriented, so CBT is less efficient for men than women, as Jungian Psychology relies more on archetypes/roles and imagery as axioms for description, rather than linguistic breadth - "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover" is a good book to look at, particularly, and you can find a good playlist/series about it on a channel called "Like Stories of Old") - Alexithymia (look up "normative male Alexithymia" - it goes hand in hand with the prior point, really) - The relationship between Dopamine, Adrenaline, and Testosterone (Dopamine is a precursor to the ladder 2, and understanding the influences they have helps with rounding out temperamental issues, as well as habitual ones), as well as the "HPA Axis" (a structural network relative to these transmitters) - The effects of hypertrophic exercises (so weightlifting, essentially - long story short, cortisol build up in the body will mess yah up, and cause A LOT of issues, both short and long term) - Nutrition (micronutrients deficiencies can cause a lot of problems, too - especially D3 due to its role in serotonin uptake in the brain. Important because the majority of serotonin receptors are in your digestive tract, and and if blood serum levels of serotonin are high, then it will be taken up by the gut receptors and cause inflammation, if memory serves correctly) I might be misremembering some minutia details, but idt I'm Dunning-Kruegerin it up over here; double check. As someone who has put a lot of time into the topic (HFA + ADHD - when im curious/fascinated, I get as close to an expert as my budget of free.99 and the internet allows me), take these points seriously. There isn't a singular technique that's going to work on everyone, but these are by far the things I've found to be most insightful for the struggles of modernity, in relation to men. Good luck in your studies, Bro ❤

[@ianandersen265]

You'll need a masters degree minimum, and your career will pay less compared to other industries.

[@-______________________]

You're gonna be a barista lmao

[@lonewolfnergiganos4000]

As a 19 year old dude who will be 20 on January 28th, I recently realized that fatherhood/parenthood isn't a role I want to pursue. I'd rather not have any children than have some and be a deadbeat father.

[@asarishepard8171]

I agree, im a woman, never been pregnant, no kids. At this point since I didn't find a good partner in time, im ok with it. Id rather be alone than ruin a kid.

[@ColeHastings]

Completely valid

[@JSFGuy]

That would be normal at your age, you will change your mind when you're ready, do not cut the cable on your private parts just yet.

[@justincarrillo226]

You don’t just become a deadbeat father. It’s not a trait that you’re somehow born with. That’s a choice that is made. There’s also a choice to take responsibility for the life you create.

[@Narrowsplice]

Life isn’t all about having kids

[@MichaelOrtega]

I have two kids myself, and I was physically and mentally abused. I dealt with depression and I turned into music to get out of this mindset. It was the hardest thing for me to do, but thanks to my overcoming, I allowed myself to have children, unlike many men who don’t want them. I wanted to be the father that I never had to them and I am. I’m not perfect and who is? But I do with them everything I always wanted to do with my dad. I owe my life to them. If you’re reading this, not having children is a choice but if it does happen, it’s not the end. It is an opportunity for you to give all the love you never had you WILL make a humongous impact on those lives and they will forever have faith in humanity because of you.❤

[@EnterpriseCompiler]

❤

[@richardscathouse]

Sorry for the kids

[@alexbesong5731]

Schizo affective BM.. I'm walking sorry

[@dawgwiddaglasses]

Our new purpose is to stay alive to fight for a better future.

[@josephstalin7389]

Or work for our overlords 😂

[@radudancoroian5169]

What future do we fight for without families to father. Is worthless

[@thewolf9851]

And have as many good kids as possible with a good wife

[@flygirl1221]

@@radudancoroian5169 You still have a family even if you don’t have children.

[@radudancoroian5169]

@flygirl1221 do I? Why do you think I would like to be a father one day in the first place?

[@Axel-n8n2m]

Let's be real with ourselves here. We all need a purpose.

[@ColeHastings]

Yes

[@name3950]

I agree. A man’s purpose shouldn’t come at the cost of women’s autonomy. That’s the problem with the past.

[@jamesburrows3602]

​@@name3950 And a Mans purpose shouldn't be their partner nor the pursuit of a partner. It should be to live for themselves. Happiness can only be found from within.

[@mostafasoliman6745]

Hey buddy 👋 Where are you from? Can we be friends with benefits, as I want someone to practice English with?..

[@mostafasoliman6745]

What about me , a person with social anxiety, who can't interact with people because he fears them.. all of them! He fears to say something wrong, fears to look somewhat stupid, or with less experience in life as he looks grown up with 21 years old, but lacks a lot of experience relative to his peers. . I'm too far away than anyone. . It really does hurt ! I wish i can love someone and be loved without being hurt or left out, rejected, or looked as someone who's not capable of anything, good or bad.. Someone who can't protect himself let alone his loved ones or his soul mate.. soulmate who never existed, and it may not be existed.. because he is not sufficient for that .

[@jacrispy1150]

"We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need."

[@nathanlamont9920]

At least half of us older millennials(1980 to 1989), we had at least SOME MASCULINE MEN to look up to. The last set that most of our childhood was pre-Internet and/or was in high school when Myspace came out. When social media became prevalent, we were 30+. Have more in common with Gen X and some boombers than Gen Z. Gen Zs are kinda on a boat by themselves.

[@DayrusBPB]

Those who are patriotic died on the battlefield WW2, those who are not get to reproduce which explains why there's moral decay. HR/coworkers are not your friends.

[@halmotley2924]

Fight Club is an extremely based movie and novel. I recommend it on Audible.

[@levioneill9677]

His name is Robert Paulson. His name is Robert Paulson.

[@PrinceoftheVioletFlame]

best way to fight fire. is with ... more fire?

[@lasshrugged]

I really like what Marcus Aurelius had to say: "Adapt yourself to the life you have been given; and truly love the people with whom destiny has surrounded you." My purpose is to love those around me, not just to find one person to love only.

[@ohjay7612]

amazing

[@aronfranks]

I stand by that! 💯

[@RozayMalikOG]

Deep😮💯💢

[@James_36]

what if those around you dont care about you? I think 99.9% of people around them dont by the way

[@Slayer-Josh]

@James_36 Ah there’s always someone like u who responds with whataboutisms. If everyone around u doesn’t care about u, then either u have low standards for who u spend time with, or you’re the problem

[@DariusExplains]

One of my best friends died last May, he was only 32. All he wanted was a wife and children to come home to. He worked hard 6 days a week and even fed homeless people on Sunday after church. The problem was he was fat, bald, broke and schizophrenic; even "good Christian women" care about looks, money, status.😢😢 He was also an uber Simp, women took advantage of him and dudes bullied him. Sad thing is he had relatively good parents.

[@florance333]

If the market doesn't want what you have to offer, blaming the market won't help. Compete better. Women choose who they want to reproduce with, and they are picky because it's a huge investment.

[@DariusExplains]

@florance333 These same women "with good judgement" will pick and stay with abusers and drugged out losers as long as they're good looking.

[@lectivalzahard8533]

@@florance333 the man literally "took himself out" from the "market" and from life, I don't think this is the moment where you need to say that shit, even if you believe is true.

[@flygirl1221]

I don’t think he needs to pass down his genes. No one should be offing themselves because they can’t find a partner. That’s gonna be the new normal.

[@DariusExplains]

My friend died from getting hit by a truck. It was either an accident or manslaughter. But it kind of telling how society treat men. Did any of you commenting at least stop and say, "Sorry you lost your friend".

[@venomase5572]

Well that's real. Fatherlessness is something very common around the world right now

[@florance333]

@venomase5572 always been

[@JimastaJ]

The spreading of the modernized western lifestyle is real.

[@therollingstone9701]

The court system is here to eliminate fathers. That's how courts have become over time to comply with the feministic agenda.

[@couttsie]

@@JimastaJwhy do you think that is? if you don’t mind me asking

[@JimastaJ]

@@couttsie Monoculturalism in the form of European American ideology. Coupled with the rise of technology. Idk, can’t really explain in a couple sentences.

[@aidanmoon713]

Brother- I’m about to be homeless and the only thing keeping me going is thinking about push ups and pull ups whilst walking around for food. Unaliving myself is a major thought daily but I’m going to keep working on my body and try to keep positive. At least I know I’m not the only man in my position. I cannot pay rent, food or rent I choose food so it is a tent and hiking around till something better comes along. Stay hard men. We must stay focused on our health and mind. Fuck everything else. Please stay alive. I’ll try my best too with you all in my mind as I walk the streets this Christmas.

[@richardscathouse]

🇺🇸 the land of zero opportunities. I just wish the boomers would shut up. 😢

[@PORTERHAUS_]

You seem like a good artist looking at your profile videos. You’ve got a purpose. Never lose hope.

[@CaesarMonzaro123]

For the corporations, by the corporations

[@JackFlannery-gn7iz]

Please survive and stay safe this Christmas

[@daquieshakeaundra2854]

Dude If you still have any parents family member Go find them Reconnect for Christmas

[@thedude8526]

The older I get, the more I want to be left alone to my hobbies, friends and family. The trad life thing ain't my jam.

[@phosspatharios9680]

Same. Feminists were on to something by saying the king was naked when it came to gender roles

[@Gatorfran.B]

The *trad* life is the _Drag_ life.... ☠️ 💀 ☠️

[@mostafasoliman6745]

Sorry i didn't get it ?..​@phosspatharios9680

[@couttsie]

@@phosspatharios9680hold up.. what?😅

[@Mandelasmind]

It just sounds like you're scared to take life by the balls.

[@dimavuk1]

you have succeeded in something that many of us will not. you can talk about your struggle without coming across as weak

[@anthonybreaker]

A flower can't bloom if the soil is barren and the water is scarce.

[@ColeHastings]

Real

[@G.G.276]

OR POISONED FROM INSIDE! MEN ARE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS! FIX THE RAFTER IN YOUR IWN EYE FIRST!

[@RestedTÖST]

My purpose is being selfish and pursuing what actually makes me happy. I have no reason to care about starting a family, having a family was always pushed on me by my parents since I was young and for the longest time pushed me to success but I realized a cold truth. The system would never allow me to maintain a family for long, it just not built to keep families together anymore. I want to pursue manufacturing, creating things people can use. This sounds more appealing than being a father with parental rights on the weekends. I’m certain I won’t regret this but certain society will regret pushing us to this point. When your society is built with people from fatherless households, nothing good can come of it. It’s going to fail.

[@iplayRowblawks]

The system isn't designed for *YOU* to have a family, it's designed for the tiny-hat tribe and their imported "replacements" to have families.

[@RBFR01]

When my father was my age he had a house a full time well paying job and was married with a daughter on the way. Me- Single, depressed, broke no friends casual work no hope in hell ever owning a house and feeling like I'm wasting my life away as everyone around me are married and have kids a house new car ect... What am I doing wrong?

[@jip230]

My parents owned a home by age 27. I purchased my first home at 44. Get help for your depression, get a better more stable job and move forward.

[@CaesarMonzaro123]

Dude you should've just been born in 1946.. Like wtf is wrong with you? TOTALLLY your fault lmao

[@kimramirez1047]

Comparison is the thief of joy. When you think about how others live their life, you’ll always spend more energy on them than on yourself. The best thing you can do is learn to believe in yourself and your potential, find what you’re good at and you enjoy. And if you’re not that good, look for what you can do to be better, just focus on being better and think about your own steps and moving forward no matter what. When you focus on yourself truly and thinking about the life you want to create, you get closer to what you want to do and become more at peace. It all comes down to making small progress in your direction whether it be physical or in a job. Listen to people who fuel you mentally and help you believe in yourself, you have the potential but it’s starts with you believing in your potential despite your life before. I worked on myself and it’s been much better. I know you have that potential, just know that you have it, it starts with changing your thinking which is hard but it’s an active effort that you have to do everyday and some days are harder than others but trust that it gets you closer to your goals. Hear people out, ask questions, indulge in their interests, not for them to like you but rather to open your mind, it’ll change your world, I promise that. Soon you’ll find what you like and don’t like about people.

[@shanamoens822]

I haven't watched the entire video yet, but the beginning is so true already. I'm a woman who has a multitude of mental health issues. I've been in group therapy programs for anxiety and depression. Once two years long and now I'm in a group therapy program again. While there are certainly men in our group too, the majority is always female. Men often suffer alone and in silence. I really applaud those that seek help and to those in my group, I often state how brave they are because I can imagine how easy it must be to start feel ashamed as a man. But even when men seek help, it's really not easy for them. I've seen many times how my own younger brother was refused help and it frustrated me to no end. For a very long time, I was the only one willing to help him and I went to every single hospital and organization with him. Because he didn't look desperate enough, they refused him. But just because someone can't openly show their emotions, doesn't mean they're not completely dying inside. I've witnessed my brother break down completely and I guess he could do so with me because he trusts me. To have all those health professionals saying he didn't need any help while he was THIS close from jumping in front of a train was so rage inducing. Because I know that if it had been me, I would have immediately received help. Thankfully eventually we did find someone and now about a year later, he's doing a lot better. But I will never forget how my brother was treated by the others. And I fear that many men face this problem. It also doesn't help that there's this narrative still in the Western world that we women are still somehow oppressed. Nothing could be further from the truth. No, in reality, men have it a lot worse these days but somehow society doesn't want to recognize this. As someone who is aware of this, I feel really powerless to do anything about it. Thank you for making this type of video, for trying to bring more awareness to all this. It's really necessary. The unaliving statistics for men are really heartbreaking.

[@radudancoroian5169]

I aint readin' allat

[@just_your_localguard9612]

I mean that are lot in life, no one cares, men are tools to society, unlike women and children, were only loved based on what we provide. And has someone who did trust someone, and opened up to her, it was used to against me, and never again will I let that happen. So instead I just keep it to myself, alot easier that way.

[@lectivalzahard8533]

i read all that, its great that you know how it is, but I think most women only know how men live when stuff like this happens to men they care about, society raves on and on about how men just don't know how difficult womens lives are, but most don't have any idea what men go thru.

[@julianstone1192]

When we open express ourselves we are punished for it, apparently it’s only considered ok if your willing to be pussy with no aggression even though that is not how a lot of us process our emotions

[@shanamoens822]

@@radudancoroian5169 Okay, thanks for letting me know XD

[@PiroFyre]

As soon as I saw this title, I knew I had to comment real quick. To the single guys out there, go to your local animal shelter and adopt a dog. It has been the absolute best thing I have done to my mental health and even my physical health. Waking up every day and taking my baby out for a long 1 hour walk is something I'm always looking forward to do every morning. And the training helps you focus on fixing their behavior because we all know that no matter what dog, whether adopted from the shelter and a few years old to even the youngest puppy, their behavior will be wild. It really helps shift your mind into becoming a responsible adult and possibly a father to your own child.

[@Acvdsxbfz]

Animals are worthless. The ones you can’t work, eat, or experiment on at least.

[@FrostySnow1000]

me but with my hamster. I love my little girl.

[@Hadi_sussy]

Alot of self improvement gurus have never connected with me as much as you have cole, Thank you

[@jeremymizer8958]

I was raised in a broken home, I want kids, but I don't want to be a part time dad, I want to know our feelings for each other are real, and honestly I've never truly 'loved' a partner.

[@Mandelasmind]

You show your feelings through actions such as providing etc. The emotional stuff is secondary, that's what your wife is for

[@kenisu-of-dragons5766]

I feel not enough is said about guys in my kind of situation. We did everything by the book. Followed rules, got good grades, never got in trouble. We never did anything terrible to anyone, we have good health and hygiene, and yet our isolation just happened. Like we're being punished for not being a bad person. We're the fool because we didn't think to find this secret code to get anyone to like us properly. Personally I just feel like I'm nothing to people. Not terrible or amazing, just a fine friendly acquaintance and nothing more.

[@phosspatharios9680]

The consequences of normalizing extraversion, ambition and outgoingness. It was never about being good, it was always about being a giver. Giver of good, giver of bad, it doesn't matter.

[@alexanderaflalo4128]

Focus on discovering who you are.....and becoming at expert at...you. That's the first thing we all gotta do. Women come later

[@jon33709]

Adapt or die alone my friend. Not my fault you have low T

[@pwh5805]

You think if you were more of a bad person people would like you more? 😅

[@kenisu-of-dragons5766]

@pwh5805 at least people would remember me

[@Vungi13]

Thank you for this, i really needed this. I am 26 been into self help and development for a few years but i was feeling stuck past 6 months but when you were talking with the caged man something clicked and i got tears. You have changed my life again and I am truly happy, keep giving the love to the world you are amazing

[@PS_Life_Improvement]

This is what I needed for a long time, so Thanks!

[@ColeHastings]

Thank you Robert

[@Ohtiaraa]

If fatherhood is dying, then so is motherhood as well since us women can’t reproduce alone…. I will say, though, I’m part of Gen Z and it’s quite challenging for me to find men in my generation that are decisive and know what they want out of life. Most of them just seem like they’re fine with having no sense of direction and fulfilling their immediate desires.

[@user-sh7dz8ek2q]

Don't waste your time with them.

[@kongking6860]

Men don't prosper without women and women don't prosper without men. We need each other like plants need sunlight. A lot of our problems would be solved if more people realised that.

[@gruesomeduck6126]

@@kongking6860 you forgot that women need no protection else it's harassment or assault, it's like telling the police that they need no protection from burglars, killers etc, need no protection or help from firemen to put out the fire that burns the house down, leave it be and therefore men did, apathetic towards and just let each day flow, let this world wither and slowly die, let humanity slowly phase out and other species to dominate the planet, it's already late into the evening, it's way past the dusk stage

[@shanamoens822]

@@kongking6860 This is very true. We've been fed narratives that say the opposite. Especially us women, we've been told we don't need a man and can do everything alone and blah blah blah but in truth, we really do need men and no one will ever be truly happy on their own.

[@just_your_localguard9612]

fatherhood is differen't then reproduction, women can still pop out kids without a father, single moms exists for reason, but I do agree, it seems like everyone lost direction in their life in last 5 years or so, even I am 28, and still feeling like I don't know what im doing, despite having a family and kid.

[@justifiedbyjeury]

Mad props to you for what you’re doing, man. I’m 29 and learning to pour into myself as much as I’ve poured into others over the years. 500 videos in, and I’d say you’ve really inspired the masses to do the same. You’re killing it dude! The haters are only here to keep you balanced 👍😎

[@ColeHastings]

Best part about what you’re doing is that you’ll be able to pour in much more genuine love to others when you’ve gotten yourself figured out. That’s the most fulfilling part of improving. Thanks for the support

[@galemartin9155]

If you will, let's take a moment to turn this on its head. What if men don't need a new purpose...... what if men are finally free and getting an opportunity to explore and or find their own purpose.. for themselves on their own. I believe this too is what is happening.

[@ColeHastings]

Yeah, I think that’s part of the main point I was trying to make

[@josefheinz5309]

Sounds partly the sentiment of MGTOW

[@wowman542]

I think more needs to be said on the cultural and social environment that men find themselves in and how those environments harm men's capacities to even be aware of their own vulnerabilities. If a man is surrounded by abusive people yelling at him for the "privileges" he was born with, the solution is not let it slide. It should be to remove himself from that environment and seek out new friend groups and situations that support him and value him. And that not every person with a criticism of you is necessarily someone worth taking seriously.

[@Papi_Patron]

Great format with the self dialogue approach. Well done.

[@Lothrean]

Lets set things straight first: Talking means nothing. Doing is what actually matters.

[@DutchinBrazil]

People tell stories since cave and campfire times

[@MW-3002]

Getting shit off your chest and then acting on solutions is the way to go

[@Hyfurwolf3341]

Yes

[@alexanderaflalo4128]

facts

[@beingsshepherd]

_The pen is mightier than the sword._

[@OGbornsinnerz]

It isn’t just women finding more purpose. The economy and internet really made things difficult but also better.

[@shanamoens822]

Is it TRUE purpose though for women? Or are we deluding ourselves thanks to the narratives we've been fed...

[@OGbornsinnerz]

@@shanamoens822 what do you know about every women’s purpose? Everyone has ambitions some may want kids some may not. This isn’t the 1800s no more we can do as we plz without having to raise a family live simple and the end.

[@nicholasgutierrez9940]

Women represent the end goal. You get them as a reward for being good. That’s what media shows us. And they represent the ideal of a future.

[@OGbornsinnerz]

@@nicholasgutierrez9940 women don’t represent nothing. Your end goal is what you make it.

[@shanamoens822]

@@OGbornsinnerz I was merely pondering/speculating on the notion. I never claimed to know every woman's purpose. Please don't put words in my mouth.

[@kadeyray7222]

From the age of 12, I understood that I would never want children, a wife, or the traditional notions of family. Observing my father and the men in his family solidified that conviction-I would rather die alone than embody even a fraction of what they represented. Fatherhood, or any semblance of it, is not something innate to me. I have my own priorities and aspirations, and I am unwilling to sacrifice them for the uncertain gamble of creating a family that could ultimately be my greatest downfall.

[@inbb510]

I guess it all comes to down to whether you will be fine with the prospect of dying alone, then it is the ideal thing to do. Having kids is a selfish decision by default and it is a choice.

[@radudancoroian5169]

Now that is just sad

[@kadeyray7222]

@@inbb510 Yeah, we all end up alone in the end, no matter what. Having kids doesn’t guarantee they’ll always be around, and that’s just life. But it is what it is. I’m fine with it. At some point, you learn to accept it.

[@kadeyray7222]

@@radudancoroian5169 Life bud.

[@ColeHastings]

My story was similar to yours: seeing my parents early relationship (they’re much better now) plus the heartbreaks I’ve gone through made me certain I’d never want to have kids, or even marry. When I healed myself, and my relationship with my parents, that changed. Now I’m engaged and plan on having kids in the future. Not saying that’s what you should do or what you will do, but things might change.

[@totallynotdio1311]

im actually suprised. tihs is propably the first video youve made about mens mental health where you treat men's mental health issues mostly as something society caused and should work on rather than solely their responsibility. it was like a breath of fresh air compared to your past videos. thank you.

[@ColeHastings]

I have talked about men’s mental health issues as a consequence of systemic issues many times on this channel. I did this in the video right before this. I think the only time I’ve ever not done that is my rise of incels video. Sometimes things I say get misinterpreted or taken out of context depending on the state the viewer is in when they watch my videos, but the goal has always been to highlight both the fact that society causes a lot of these issues, and that men should also assume responsibility for many of their problems.

[@totallynotdio1311]

@ColeHastings i agree. Thanks again

[@walterp1028]

My purpose will be different than others, but if it helps someone it helps someone. The reason I work is to take adventures. I work and use my money to take my dog all over the country. I don't need anything fancy. Live a more simple life during work weeks(penny pinching) and then use the money saved for adventures. Roadtrips and camping to see the incredible nature of America. So much to see and do here. You will never see it all. Get away from the big cities and spend it with my pal outdoors. Fishing, canoeing, skiing, hiking, hunting, white water rafting, horseback riding trails, etc. I see a cool destination spot that I'm personally interested in and I add it to the list to check out. I then make a separate list of spots to return to that is separate from a "go-to" spot. What I mean by a "go-to" spot is like if I can't figure something out for a weekend, I know I can just go to these spots for a fun weekend camping. The return list is more of if I ever have kids/meet a special someone, take them there and share a good moment. By list, I mean a physical hard list not something in your head. If one day someone wants to join me on my journey great, if not, well I'll always have a dog to share them with and dogs make the best companions. Nothing more iconic than getting out on a still, quiet lake with my canoe, black lab sitting up front, only sounds are the paddling and your line being cast out, and then bringing in some good trout to cook over the campfire for dinner for both of us. At the end of the day, my purpose is just to enjoy the life I have doing the things I love. Which for me is the great outdoors. Getting away from the phones and internet and really take things in. If someone wants to join me than she can, but I don't expect it nor care if that person even exists anymore. Not many women willing to make sacrifices on material goods to actually live a life. I've never felt more fulfilled than spending all my weekends in this way. I'm 28 btw. I have enjoyed every moment making the decision to live my life this way.

[@bradenjacobbartlett7414]

I live in Ontario, Canada. I've only left the province once to go to Alberta. I was with my family, and we visited Banff, the mountains blew me away. It made me realize that I want to travel so I made a goal. I'm going to go travel/ do something cool at least once a year. I'm 19 now and I plan on driving to the cost of BC next summer. The only concern I have is money as I am in university, but I know it'll be worth it!

[@walterp1028]

@bradenjacobbartlett7414 plan properly, penny pinch, estimate costs, and go for it. Don't set a date to go. Set a budget, plan how long it will take to reach that budget, and then once you get to that budget go for it. Never go into debt to travel. For me, camping tends to be dirt cheap. Especially in the offseasons. That's why I can do it most every weekend. I had my monthly budget, it costs me about $100 per weekend in fuel and site costs(food costs are the same because its the same groceries), I figured out how to rearrange my monthly budget by cutting in different areas to reach that goal and allocate that $400 to camping each month. Then when I want to do a bigger trip, I just count how many camping trips I need to cut to allocate the budget for a bigger trip. So then say I need $1200 for a bigger trip well I cut 1 camping trip per month for 12 months and then a year from that date, I take the more expensive trip. For my budget I basically have these basic categories, rent, food, utilities, gas, emergency fund, etc. but the very last thing is for fun stuff. Everything else must be funded first. The category I cut the most to budget in camping was gas and food. No more eating out, buy groceries in bulk, freeze everything. I keep a 4 months supply of food at home, so I only go grocery shopping 3 times a year. Limit gas to going to and from work and to and from church. If I want to hang out with people outside of work or sunday church, I invite them out with me camping. They can either choose to go or not. Usually about once every other month some friends will join me. So I'm not always by myself. So I'll essentially have about 7 of 8 weekends its just me and dog, and then 1 out of 8 a good group of friends.

[@TremelJackson]

It's funny how people keep telling men to open up without acknowledging that they do open up but run the possibly of getting lambasted for it by men and women so how about we do our part by checking ourselves to make sure we are actually listening when men do open up and help make a secure space so they can do so.

[@reggie2898]

Thank you. I get so tires of hearing the same brain dead ass advice like it hasn't been given a 1000 times over. We can tell men to open up all we want, but unless there is a space carved out where Men feel safe to do so, it will never happen. These days, male only spaces are vilified and frowned upon as it Kaye result in what they label "locker room talk" No male spaces = no male expression.

[@AVB40000]

Im 27 now. But when I was 19 I had very similar feelings. I was forced to confront my own caged man and I haven't looked back since.

[@mr.mayhem1975]

The problem here is that women will NOT let men have their own spaces. To heal, we have to find a way to do that, and its been impossible. Thoughts?

[@ColeHastings]

Not sure what you're talking about. You'd have to give me examples.

[@stevenhunt6349]

@@ColeHastings Take for example, the bar and the gym. Used to be men's places to unwind, talk to other men about their issues, and relax away from the stress that women brought them. Now, gyms are places for onlyfools girls to create spicy content, and ragefarm men accidentally looking at them for 0.01 seconds. Now, the bars are the place for drunk women to treat men like crap and trick them into buying them drinks, with the false promise of a date or other such activities in return. Women have taken away every safe space that men have had. What now?

[@benh6452]

Boy scouts, any mens clubs, men only gym etc etc

[@mr.mayhem1975]

@@benh6452The 'boy' in boy scouts is gone- go look it up. There are WOMEN-only gyms, but no men's gyms. And men's clubs? Can you name even one?

[@donaldoutterson3071]

Yes sir, spend time in nature. It is used to treat PTSP without drugs and it will work for you too. I ride my bicycle on the bike trail three times a week year round. It has helped my body, mind and soul.

[@ModelJames13]

Men are going to have a lot more time to finish their video games. 😎

[@TibiConstantine]

Stalker 2 baby

[@florance333]

@@ModelJames13 except that doesn't provide fulfillment

[@ModelJames13]

@@florance333 Very true. Well......... I guess it's back to my fruitless search to find myself a good wife. 😎

[@quantumspark343]

​@@florance333it does

[@Kyle-fp5lm]

@@florance333oh but it does. And when you’re done. A new one is ready.

[@adam-v7w-w9i]

I often feel like it's just not our time to shine, like we were born at just the wrong time to prosper as men. Our fathers managed to make it by the skin of their teeth, but we're not left with much as millennials. It's a confused time, and even as a man getting stepped on for doing everything right, you make the most of the time you have to find your own purpose and happiness. Who knows if my happiest dreams are ever going to come true, or if they even can come true in the 2020's or the 2030's for that matter. Sometimes I feel like just staying out of homelessness is an achievement in itself. Maybe my future dream life can't be with a wife and kids and seeing our combined bloodlines reflected back at us in the eyes of our beautiful kids - maybe just getting by and having a roof over my head is enough of a luxury, and maybe you come to accept that the rest was just too good to come true for us modern men. Even as above average modern men. Thing is, I'm picky. I like looking at beautiful things. I'm not just going to settle for just anything. I don't want to feast my eyes on "meh". I want something to be proud of. I want what feels right and what I can't take my eyes off. I'm mostly done with motivational videos for men, it feels like a cash-in repeating the same talking points and reaching no meaningful point or takeaway. There's always going to be the next video and the one after that, just an influx of "content", and I don't want that. My time is being wasted - I want true growth and I want results. I have to say this guy impressed me in that he went into his own journey and the conclusions he came to. This is one of those videos I'll return to.

[@richardscathouse]

Think of the younger guys drugged, gaslit to doubts of themselves their very sensuality? Casually nutured and made over as sterile women, 😢 sounds horrible 😢

[@billyjoelfan100]

I'm reminded of a scene from Kill Bill Vol. 2 where Kiddo goes to one of Bill's mentors and he says that growing up, Bill used to collect father figures. That line rang so true for me.

[@richardscathouse]

One rotten father was enough for me, 😢 I simply led my life the opposite he did. 😢

[@BoostedPastime]

Thank you for your work Cole, we love you

[@nicholasgutierrez9940]

Everyone drowns themselves in momentary distractions because they don’t want to face themselves. I had a friend that became an alcoholic and did drugs to cope. I had an ex that used porn to cope. I had another ex that did everything in her power to avoid responsibility and spent money to feel good. All of that buries the problem it doesn’t solve it.

[@ashleypurchase8922]

You're a good man Cole Hastings, this was a hard video to watch. Keep going, your message is important.

[@125henni]

We have to liberate ourselves fellas.

[@shadowdoyler]

Really appreciate your videos on these topics. Thanks for trying to make the world a better place!

[@BombBadChris]

Appreciate your videos cole you honestly came a long with all of this and layed out there Coming from someone who seeking out what you want it to be but in the end, you found yourself what your truly meant to be. Whether it’s fighting through the pain the hurt or even the struggles of life being in your 20s and in your late 20s in society where you go to work three times as hard and it still feels like it’s not enough to be on your own independently. But I just wanted to say that and also I love you platonically to dude and everybody who’s reading this 🙏🏾.

[@murderman8578]

My purpose is video games

[@sigmaramen]

Based

[@reggie2898]

Same. It's one of the only things I do that I actually enjoy in a given day. Everything else is just some kind of work that I'm forced to do.

[@ianandersen265]

The incentive to work out is lacking for me. I hate getting all sweaty and disgusting, and workout rooms smell awful. I like walking and golfing, but this winter it really sucks trying to stay healthy. Bowling is way too expensive and I am sick of bowling leagues.

[@richardscathouse]

👍

[@montanamanculich1834]

You can say women’s liberation isn’t a bad thing, but the trade offs should be discussed in a serious manner. I come from a large family. Family & legacy is important to me. Having kids and making the world a better place for the next generation. I should not have to work 10 times harder and deal with 10 times more bullshit for the outcome I desire. If we keep going at this rate, my kids will have to work exponentially more to make their relationships work. A sexually liberated society is very dangerous. Many people giving themselves, their life force, and parts of their soul to any others. They have nothing left by the time they are ready to settle down. The majority of men under 30 aren’t taken serious, and the majority of women over 30 aren’t taken seriously. This can’t continue

[@herbtarlic892]

I have watched your channel for quite some time now, and always found it to be a steadfast, rational point of view in an increasingly crazy world. Thanks for great candor and all your efforts.

[@ColeHastings]

That means a lot. It's one of the main goals of this channel, so when anybody points it out, it makes me feel like I'm on the right path.

[@Immaburnthekitchendown]

This video really opened my eyes, thanks Cole

[@JSFGuy]

We are here.

[@KingGandhi66]

Thank you for this video it was really needed

[@alejandrosegato671]

36 here, i never really had this issue, i was more like, so, no one cares? Dang.. well... Ok.. moving on. Not that it wasn't hard, but once You realize You have to keep moving forward, if You stop, You get stuck and it Will be hard to get it going again. Also, a Big truth is that, conections, aren't that much of a Big deal, solitude is not something Bad on itself, but if it's Bad For You, then yes, it Will be hard.

[@pheonixwilson5577]

This video especially the coverage of your mental dialogue, actually just helped me realize a lot. Very moving, thank you for sharing that. The you inside of you IS the realest mf you know, its your best friend not your enemy

[@levioneill9677]

When the family unit fails, society fails. Society needs families.

[@beingsshepherd]

Just not the individual.

[@dmiariana]

I agree the first challenge should be physical. The returns are enormous.

[@sonicleaves]

Committing that act is a personal choice for everyone, men and women. No one is going to hold your hand and walk you through life. You'll have to figure that out on your own, like everyone. Or don't.

[@robertreese9290]

Great Work Cole Thanks

[@huntersmith8477]

Damn good video cole! Hope all is well brother!

[@markwalters4710]

make the rich richer and the poor poorer that is your only purpose until you seek your own purpose for yourself.

[@ymmijchen9310]

This one really hits home. Thank you Cole❤

[@KevinoVP]

Very well put Cole!

[@Keonggreen]

This video couldn’t have come at a better time explaining a lot from his older videos. Cole is actually our caged man 😄👍🏻

[@theotherpen15]

Resonate with this a good deal I remember thinking to myself randomly one day, there is no point to consciousness without relationships. To be conscious is to be in relationship. How well you live and whether it's an enjoyable life i think is just all about how navigate relationships. I think the problem with us in general but particularly with men is how we relate to ourselves. I think generations of war (Ares) programming taught us that our lives don't matter. Our feelings don't matter. Other men aren't gonna support us. And women don't like us. I mean if the highlight of your life is to die on the battlefield at like age 16, it really doesn't matter that you matter. You're just meat for a grinder But you matter. And we all need relationships. It took TWO people to make one human. After that, i took someone to make all the things we have. I didn't make the shoes i wear, i didn't build my house, i didn't gather the materials to make my car. I didn't provide the water that runs through my pipes. I didn't build the tech that I'm using to make this comment. If it wasn't for other people there'd be no need for me to express myself. If others hadn't expressed themselves i wouldn't see that I'm like them or unlike them. We need each other but we do need to build ourselves up too. If you don't work on yourself, nothing changes and you'll never add to the web of life so it's like you never even existed. If you don't connect however, you can't learn, share, or grow. So out of either love or selfishness things can't go on like this

[@minor5549]

In South Korea as I recall, a couple intentionally niglected their own daughter in favor of a "virtual" one as they're avid gamers, leaving their own kid to starve and pass away not paying any attention at all due to them refusing to take the responsibility of looking after their own kid, of course they were charged and sentenced since they murdered their own kid by starving their daughter to death as she was only a toddler. If one will take it this far as parent/s want to 'get rid' of their children due to them hating kids or wanting a 'kid-free' lifestyle, are they going to this far?

[@rupertmurchie8155]

Great video mate, appreciate it.

[@aznbackshadow]

Most important video for men understanding men and women understanding men more.

[@grantmourning189]

I get paid the same to do more work. My girlfriend 3 years ago left me because I was drinking too much and working too much. I felt it was my duty to make more money and I drank beer 5-6 days a week because I needed a way to relax from a stressful work day. Amanda never understood how overworked my body was and she saw it as a negative. I work 100% my hardest every day and it feels like the ladies at work don't fully appreciate how much I help them lift stuff and put in the extra work. Once women feel higher than a man then it makes us feel less usefull. Women are naturally more pretty but men can't be that perfect body princecess. It's a real struggle for men to find a purpose when ladies don't put in effort to appreciate us.

[@theoutsiderhumanist8159]

This video is good af. Some of the most wholesome content I've ever heard.

[@owenpieper8862]

cole is my dad

[@ColeHastings]

Son, we talked about this…

[@noecruz6204]

bro 😂😂😂😂😂

[@JimastaJ]

🌈

[@Salkaton]

Bro I just stumbled upon this video, and was scrolling through the comments. Now after seeing this one I have to subscribe 😂

[@khadijakajja176]

This video made my day, very convincing!

[@JO-iv7tl]

We, as men, dont know what ideas, experiences, and traits we, should, inherit if ignored will punish us. Hence ourselves feeling lost.

[@thegritsch]

Cool video man, major props! I've come to face the caged man as well at some point on a consciousness expanding journey where I eventually met "god". Ever since, my life hasn't been the same and took a quite bizarre turn. From a meditation retreat, where the guru was like "it must have been fate you came here", to joining a semi secret group to experiencing weird phenomena and facing my (?) shadow. I have no idea what this will amount to, but there is something like an intuition guiding me

[@phenitagomes1292]

Good video. Good work.

[@bsj555]

Another good video Cole.

[@Dirtybootswalking]

I'm choosing the cross. Aren't you practically saying be good for yourself? So it's a very conscious version of you can't help anyone else if you can't help yourself, but not quite. You can generalize and say i went in circles as fast as i could! Or you could say i ran laps to the best of my ability. The difference could be in the methodology, but i think that's a part of the point. How different really is the method other than the approach. Here's what i want to tell those who can bear what I've said so far. Attempt to deny yourself, the caged self built the cage as protection and wonders why it's trapped. More than finding purpose and meaning, how wonderful is it to be filled by the Spirit of God. I choose to find purpose in Jesus, im not perfect, I struggle, but I'm meaning to show my love for God by my actions. Humility is my constant replacement to vulnerability. I don't need to open myself up if there's nothing covering myself in the first place. Glory to God, Praise Jesus!

[@jake-tc9ld]

7:30 that transition was sick as hell

[@GrantHudiburgh-d5z]

thank you for this video

[@indrinita]

Let's get real here. Since when were men actively involved in the raising of their kids? Never. Raising children and taking care of a household is super hard work. Hard work that's unpaid. Especially when working outside the home in paid work at the same time. Women do both at the same time. Men don't. In the past, women were forced to be with men for their material survival. Times have changed. That doesn't mean however that women and men now contribute equally inside the home. Women are expected to bring home a paycheck as well as take care of their kids, their partner and their home. Men are expected to work outside of the home and literally nothing else. Not surprising that more and more women are seeing the status quo and saying "no". Women can now survive without being financially dependent on a man. We don't need to go back to those times. We need to teach boys and men to do take as much responsibility for their lives as women are expected to. Notice how girls are expected almost from birth to help with chores like washing dishes, cleaning up after themselves, doing laundry, mowing the lawn or countless other tasks? Boys are almost never expected to do such things with any regular frequency. It starts there.

[@sonicchaos23]

Men are not taught to do chores???😂 what kind of upbringing does that say about yours? Most guys my age growing up always had more chores and responsibilities than females.

[@eagle162]

Oh my goodness nothing you said here is correct, for the majority of human history the father was considered the primary parent not the mother. That only started to change regarding the industrial revolution when fathers were more outside the home. Obviously problems have been made since then. women were not forced to be with men this is a myth in history women could be single and financially stable if they wanted to, however do you not see the women complaining about financial stability now? Less happy than any other time in history? No what's driving men and women apart ideologies infesting our society. Boys are not expected to do chores? Man would typically be responsible for outside the home chores, fixing things, lifting heavy things ect. When the breadwinner and stay at home mom dynamic started to become a thing in the 50s. There would be less two income houses, if people bother to downsize, the more money people have are less likely to have kids now, with those to do do not know how how to manage money properly and are too used to particular lifestyle.

[@phosspatharios9680]

Well... My father wasn't very present in my life indeed. But neither was my mother, tbf. That's because both had to work. The past arrangement of SAHMs was better because at least one of the parents didn't exactly had to work in the proletarian sense of the word, leaving them availble for the children.

[@karenmassey8354]

This is the answer but they will continue to overlook it and say taking care of a home isn’t hard work. They will probably just flounder until they finally acknowledge that, but judging by the videos and comments they keep putting out, that may take many more years.

[@josefheinz5309]

Women married for financial security/protection, men married for sex/companionship, women can now make their own financial security/protection men cannot make their own sex/companionship.

[@Wyatt-Midnight]

This one was much stronger than your last male loneliness segment, more actionable and while empathetic it doesn’t talk down to men 5/5

[@VanjeAv]

Cole thank you for pointing out how self-inflicted the loneliness pandemic is : from men to men. Great video.

[@rhammond7517]

Yes I agree the problem is us men are lectured and treated (what can you do for me and be a provider) so when this was taken away for myself I was lost for a while but once I learned that I have to focus on my self more make my self as strong, smart,as I can be the best person I can be.i know it sounds cheesy but it all starts within

[@MariaK222]

I can’t wait to have a family one day ❤ (it feels like I’m alone in saying that)

[@oddnybsgarage]

I find fathering a whole community that needs support and earness to their doubts and wishes is a necessary step in the world and in my generation. But to those that need such a concept, not your typical "i go party and not care about money i just want life to be happy all the time" people, but to those who daily life is no different than death at most points. If you know, you know

[@MX-CO]

It seems insane to marry nowadays

[@ohjay7612]

Thanks for talking about this.

[@austinrichardson7433]

Having a relationship with Jesus has made mine and everyone I know life so much easier.

[@KidaMilo89]

Leaving Jesus and God made my life easier.

[@austinrichardson7433]

@ then you never actually knew him

[@phosspatharios9680]

Praise God He will destroy this world and make New Heavens and New Earth. No need to serve a society that hates you when you can serve a God that loves you. Also, the purpose of the Universe and everything in it is already set in stone: to glorify God. No need to seek purpose, just get on with the original plan.

[@josephbernard5240]

I can confirm that leaving organized religion made my life easier as well. I was shunned by the church solely for having knowledge plus the circumstances that come with my existence

[@austinrichardson7433]

@ that’s good. Have a relationship with Jesus and get away from organized religion.

[@ARdamonx]

this feels like a chat with AI chat bot

[@Dirtybootswalking]

All I want to say is that you have me looking and listening *very* closely

[@richardscathouse]

It's the same BS script they've been feeding out since the early 80s 😢

[@MX-CO]

These days women seem very superficial to me. I feel like its a completely different dating world than it was even 10 years ago. Seems like women dont date or marry for love any more, only for resources and that the odds of it being for ever are soso slim

[@cockatooinsunglasses7492]

Proximity bias.

[@whatsupbudbud]

This mirrors my experience as well. My recent ex (gen z) with whom I have a baby boy together would rather be a single mother/look for the perfect man rather than accept that neither she or anybody else is perfect. And don't even get me started about how much they time they spend and what they do in social media. On the flip side, we men also spend a lot of time there and basically waste time. I'm starting to think that time better spent would be to help random strangers, i.e. displaced people from Ukraine, parent-less children, etc. That would definitely have meaning in my book.

[@daquieshakeaundra2854]

@@whatsupbudbud it s your fault You are the one choosing a young baddie 2000’s Get your own age female 40yo

[@daquieshakeaundra2854]

Bro stop chasing gen z and alpha Get your millenial or boomer female

[@whatsupbudbud]

@daquieshakeaundra2854 I didn't chase but yeah, you might be right.

[@Jupiterrbbyz]

I predict purpose will come again soon! Everything has been pushed for STEM so there has been a major squeeze on physical labor jobs that provided. However, A.I and everything was not expected. LUCKILY or not, Our infrastructure in America is crumbling and we need new bridges (over 200,000), highways, homes, and water piping (look at Flint, MI as most cities are even worst). There will be a 2nd coming of labor jobs, hopefully with increased pay and kids that had machine shop in Highschool again. This coming from an Aerospace Engineer, we need physical labor jobs more than ever again. For economy, mental, and most importantly America's infrastructure at any moment

[@beingsshepherd]

A nation of blue collar workers.

[@angierodriguez7776]

I also think women cope better, because we're useto emotional irregulation. Because of our horomones(periods/pregnacy/menopause) constantly changing. We let ourselves feel it, then get over it.

[@indibat3397]

bro you just explained my live. Thanks

[@Greebles-F5P2]

I don't know about zocdoc, but Luigi found a purpose.

[@superdomiq]

lmao best time to ad a health insurance xD

[@ColeHastings]

Truly

[@נריזאביאדלר-ק8ג]

Incredible video

[@DayrusBPB]

A ferrari that's sitting in the swamp or garrage has no value right? It's time to expand your social circle and get outside of your comfort zone. Go where you're liked and appreciated instead of just being tolerated or despised.

[@phosspatharios9680]

People already did this. It created echo chambers and furthered tribalism.

[@venlafaxinedomperidone8377]

Our purpose is our own selves.

[@kohlmeyer7433]

It's not so much that we view ourselves as inanimate objects but that society does. That's where the existential dread and pent up rage and resentment comes from. It is that when some of us do reach out for help we are often times met with pushback and dismissive behavior.

[@richardscathouse]

I was never met by anything but dismissive behavior and resentment, only you can decide how you react. 😢 I rook the high road where I could. When cornered I fought like a wild animal.

[@ryancagerbaker]

Idk every interaction with another person is an opportunity to teach, learn and potentially connect. It’s not necessarily that they are related to me. Talk to a social worker and they’ll tell how many children need help. The internet has connected us to most people. It’s not hard to find someone who would benefit from just listening to on the phone and sharing your perspective. I’ve talked to people with identity issues, eating disorders, whose parents are dying of painful stomach cancer. I’ve talked to people I never want to talk to again but I learned I don’t want to be like them or around them.

[@beingsshepherd]

😄