Fearful Avoidant's Fear Of Abandonment: Uncovering The Sudden Shift And How To Heal | HealingFa.com

[@coreygeiger81]

Just sounds like being alone is more valuable than suffering dealing with questions of “is this person going to leave or stay “

[@luketimewalker]

WOOOOWWW THAT WAS INVALUABLE Repulsion is a defense mechanism!! Repulsion could be another name for avoidance... it's like two beautiful magnets, but they come off inverted! And your remarks on love which is abundant, is very spiritual. Cheers from France

[@brookc1076]

YES YES YES this was my exact experience. I would’ve loved to see a video like this 2 years ago when I was ferociously searching online for answers and there appeared to be nothing out there. Thank you for doing this incredible work 🙏

[@alexnikolova3700]

Pauliene I can't tell you just how THANKFUL I am that you are sharing this content, and know this attachment style SO well. I am grateful that all your own suffering lead you to help myself and so many others because it gives me hope for a true genuine relationship instead of thinking the relationship and guy is the issue. Thank you so much!! and your program really is working for me too....slowly but definitely have improvements since august so thank you!

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

So happy to hear Alex!!

[@jellyrcw12]

What you're saying is SO real yet so hard to accept and deal with

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

I know its not easy, but just now there are ways to heal this❤

[@taequility3655]

I felt that already and it scared me so much I went back to deactivating and I feel like I just bounced back in my healing

[@noelpeterson8224]

Literally just happened to me , I stopped having intrusive thoughts and doubts for a few days but for those few days i felt SOOOO vurnerable and this sense of impending doom like I was going to lose my relationship, and then I went back to the doubts and obsessions 🥲

[@jaderivera9082]

I found your videos about a week ago after feeling so overwhelmed by my back and forth emotions in my new relationship shop. Your videos have been so validating and helpful! They are clear and match exactly what I’m going through. Thank you!

[@MadManEtv]

Did you ever experience "a fear of leading them on" or a "fear of ruining their lives"?

[@alexnikolova3700]

she has mentioned the fear of leading them on or ruining in a sense because this all leads back to the fear of hurting someone else....so then pushing away and doubts happen. it's a "normal" part of the attachemnt style and one ive witnessed in myself too and am healing through with my partner. pauliene's course is really helping me navigate all this and continue healing (and no im not an affiliate for her....just honest person learning with her tools

[@pritarot666]

Yes

[@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870]

Absolutely! Obsessively even. Being so afraid to hurt him. If not now then surely down the line somewhere. This is what puts pressure on the 'having to figure it out', which makes you search perfection. But you are not a bad person (which is a belief underlying all of this usually), just for not being sure and being on a journey of healing.

[@koala01111986]

​@@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870 my FA left almost 2 months ago saying he was just hurting me and similar things, after me snapping (I'm FA too) because he kept canceling plans even that day (I was patient all the other times and reassuring I wasn't mad at him), plus the week before he couldn't find me immediately where he was supposed to find me (he was early than usual) and when he did find me, I felt he was scared, both by his voice and his expression. He showed up twice in the last month for a brief encounter but each time, after opening up just a bit again, he disappeared again. How to approach this in a good way to show him he's not bad? If I write a message he won't replay and will pull away more, so I want to say something when he'll show up again next time

[@Shiro1987]

Thank you for normalizing this fear of abondonment. That way I don't have to feel like it's something wrong whit me feeling the way I do. Sure fear of abondonment can become a bit to extreme in some cases though but it's something everyonne struggle whit. Securely attached or not. I feel like I might be close to heal at this moment thanks to the guy I'm whit currently. I noticed the longer we been toghether the less I get triggered over the smallest of things. I can talk whit him about how I feel whitout losing control over myself & my fears. 🙂

[@brookc1076]

YES YES YES this was my exact experience. I would’ve loved to see a video like this 2 years ago when I was ferociously searching online for answers and there appeared to be nothing out there

[@amikashah9818]

what did you do to heal?

[@Itssimplyaisha]

You make feel like all these years there was absolutely nothing wrong with me it was just my attachment style

[@davidpapojr8531]

Great information, ty! Think everyone needs to look into attachment styles and heal!

[@haihai5293]

Love you for these videos 🙂

[@toni4333]

Paulien, I'm so very grateful to you and for your videos! Through you I first learned about my attachment style and it made me feel less abnormal and alone. Right now I'm struggling the most with the avoidant part: I sometimes feel reluctant to spent time with my boyfriend, even though I quite enjoy it when we're together. But then I feel myself wanting to be alone again or wanting to spent time apart from him and it makes me doubt the entire relationship all over again... Could you maybe do a video about the reasons why I might feel this way if it's a part of the fearful avoidant attachment style?

[@piecornrose4831]

This is a great video, thank you

[@1known2]

Only just found your videos, would love to know if you do 1 on 1 chats ?

[@petrasokolova3020]

soooo profound..thank you

[@andythebro5811]

I was triggered by my pals being mean to me... It whirled into fear of abandonment. It feel like a deep, dangerous insecurity. I allowed it and just tapped... I dont feel that fear that strong anymore.

[@lifeisbeautiful7047]

True, I always check my freindlist on facebook to see if they unfreinded me with no reason

[@ilsem3339]

Is it also possible that when you’re together you want to be with him the whole time, even when he goes to the toilet you get a bit restless or when he’s away for a while. You just need to be in his presence to feel good and safe. It’s like having then a bit of a fear of abandonment (doubts are still there, but less) however when you’re at home and he’s no longer near you then al these intensive negative doubts are re-appearing and everything feels safe when you are all alone and it feels like you don’t need him.. it feels like a sudden switch to the fearful avoidant attachment style again. It’s so confusing.. are their more people who’re experiencing this and did you have this too Paulien?

[@pritarot666]

How to heal from this abandonment wounds

[@lorirobinson4665]

I was wondering if you can do a video on how to be present in the moment because I know myself as a fearful voidant tends to be on the move all the time that I forget to be present like take pictures of special memories and be there physically and mentally

[@minervaminavera2347]

She just posted one like within the past few days. So good 😊 I’ve gone thru a lot of therapy like decades. Her videos are so powerful. I’ve cried so hard bc I felt so seen and heard for the first time