Feelers: Responsible for Emotions?

[@PRoseLegendary]

My therapist says: "You have to feel it to heal it. The only way out is through." Shoving emotions just makes them show up somewhere else later eg as a migraine, as illness.

[@PuzzleQodec]

Yeah the question is not whether or not the emotion is legitimate. The question is why are you feeling what you feel and what is it trying to tell you. Only after you know exactly what triggered it can you deal with or maybe ask yourself how useful it is. My own Fi is somewhat annoyed by how many steps in the process are ignored here, this can only lead to misunderstandings. Your therapist is right.

[@MeghaMuse]

“How are you doing this? Going from crying to singing?” LMAO!!! This video made me tear up and laugh. That lady reminded me of my ESFJ grandmother’s attitude when she was going through cancer. Love you guys, great video and great work! Thanks for revealing this truth about Fe

[@michilo200]

Gabor Mate actually wrote a book on repressed emotions manifesting themselves in physiological illnesses called "When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress". Would highly recommend :)

[@gretagrotto5858]

As an INTP, it's extremely difficult to process sorrow while weeping. As soon as I try to my TiSi kicks in and the crying immediately stops since analysis is my natural method to look inward. I can be tearful for much longer at the movies since I'm not observing what I feel. Tangentially, why is it that discussion of 'feelers' tends to focus on sadness and crying? There are so many others we can process.

[@josehenriquefs888]

I think that they choose to focus on sadness and crying because sadness a very strong emotion that we tend to hide or avoid. We don't often try to hide happiness, surprise and other emotions we consider to be positive. Another possible reason is that even extreme happiness or extreme anger make us cry, crying is the way our body relieves our emotional state, reestablishing the balance.

[@Mayakran]

Negative emotions are seen as a point of vulnerability. I type as a “feeler” (though I think I’m more NiTi than NiFe) but I will bludgeon my feelings nearly to death trying to either ignore or rationalize them.

[@josehenriquefs888]

@@Mayakran If you Ni/Ti that makes sense, because you have Fe as a demon, and we tend to disrespect our demons, to ignore them or, in the case of demon feelings, rationalize them

[@StarLight-oh6bf]

feelers arent more emotional than thinkers. they just let it out while thinkers suffer with bottling it up, unfortunately.

[@filettmignen]

I think they focus on sad emotions because it legit means there’s something in the world that needs to be changed. Being happy and complacent is just sitting around with a high sense of well-being or if not just being in the middle feeling *zero* emotions also means things are probably OK. Usually it’s very difficult to hide when you’re in intense physical pain like getting your ankle stuck, that’s going to be a VERY intense emotion combined with the motivation to free yourself lol. So yeah. Easy to express sad because you’re basically forced to contend with sadness or pain or whatever the negative connotative word is at every corner. However if you’re just happy then you’re just happy. No reason to change that or interrupt necessarily, until there is or whatever.

[@longlakeshore]

I have been in chronic physical pain for 50 years. A untreated infection and multiple surgeries in childhood leading to nerve damage (neuroma) combined with inadequate post surgical analgesia were the cause. I didn't experience relief until prescribed powerful narcotics 28 years later. But the pain clinic stopped treating me after 17 years (thanks to all of you who abused opioids in that epidemic). How did/do I survive? Yoga, meditation and self taught CBT (making friends with the pain, not fighting it, letting it slaughter me, not wanting it to be different, journaling and 135,000 miles cycling). Haven't been able to cry in years. There are only so many tears. INFP.

[@PsychologyandChillwMichi]

Its interesting how the man said that he determines whether or not an emotion will serve him- this is my process as well, does it serve or will other emotions serve better

[@daisyduke717]

Same here. I’m allowed to cry if it matters, but if I get emotional about something stupid, I stop myself before a tear is even formed. I don’t let myself dwell on it, I don’t give that moment any more power. I only cry a few times a year and that seems to be plenty. (ENFP)

[@princessonuoha79]

@KZbin Veterinarian I think so, but moreso healthy Fi, one that is tempered by Te. When Fi, as a saviour is rampant, it comes out unfiltered, which is not always the more healthy route.

[@nallwdrgn]

That bird is my hero.

[@nallwdrgn]

Joseph Ross nuh uh.

[@dianaleestudio]

Sometimes I wonder how actors & actresses just cry on demand after focusing for like 5 seconds. I realized I can do that too. Wow, Fe.

[@suryacoapy5129]

Endomorphins? I want some of those! Do they come in red?

[@davidegaruti2582]

I think I can't afford that

[@gigglesmcdounut723]

I'm an ENTJ and I have been more open with my emotions and cry more. It definitely helps get through whatever is happening and keeps the emotions from becoming a tidal wave. It's actually very logical! That bird at the end is hilarious!

[@NoraRoisin]

This was super helpful. Being the friend of an Fi (not saviour that I know of) person has been interesting since I operate completely differently in relation to feelings. My 'emotion' life is more externalised. I have envied people who are stoic, but I've learned I should not be ashamed of being a warm person. I sort of looked on stoic people as 'what I ought to be' because as a child my expressiveness was annoying to others. I automatically thought people would love me better if I could somehow be as they are. But now I'm coming full circle realising that a lot of people really are just interested to see what this stranger they're meeting is like, and I need to stop imagining people like you better when you 'speak the same language'.

[@entropyfun]

Hey, my Fi savior self envies Fe people all the time. But I just can't bring my self to fake my emotions convincingly at all. I just don't have that skill. I know you guys are not faking it, because you actually use emotions interactively, but I just don't, and if I would do it, I would be faking it.

[@NoraRoisin]

@@entropyfun It's really annoying to have this skill, you call it, when I don't want to 'get moved' by other people; it drove me nuts as a child that my siblings could 'move' me when I didn't actually feel like it, which is, I guess, why wanting to be stoic became a thing. A stark example is tickling where they'd say because I was smiling/laughing, I was enjoying it. I'd love the answer for you to be: don't force showing emotions- if you want to think about Fe stuff, LiJo has done a video 'INTJ - Fe Chasing the Human Experience,' which at least highlights the start for someone with Fi in their stack. But you may already know all this! ;)

[@kellie8468]

Crying is therapeutic. I don’t cry as easily now but it’s still makes me feel better , lighter less burdened.

[@denzildk]

intp: what is a feeling? i know when to eat because my calender tells me too, if i forget i can feel it in my stomach, but that's not hunger, that's pain from "starvation"... Also i can't remember the last time i cried.. is this a bad thing? i get the logic behind crying, and that the hormones are good and stuff, i just dont know what could even make me cry.

[@xynx1211]

As an intp, it's so easy to analyze things to the point of frivolity, and fortunately this includes negative emotions. You need to at least sometimes/somewhat feel unhappy though, otherwise you can't feel happy ("happy" and "unhappy" are relative to each other). I mean i guess you could just feel neither happy nor unhappy, and just at peace with yourself, but maybe that'd be boring? Idk... what even is "happy", anyways? I mean i think i only ever feel genuinely happy when something unexpected happens... so i guess the conclusion of this comment is "live in the moment", in order for more unexpected stuff to happen, so that you can be happier.

[@heatherbryant4197]

I'd bet death or another traumatic loss could make you cry, but I wouldn't think it's necessary for you seek a means to cry, or think it's necessarily unhealthy not to. If it doesn't happen naturally, no worries. I'd be concerned if you were bottling up emotions until you implode or repressing emotions and trying to pretend they don't exist to keep yourself from crying, but in my experience that's more of an inferior Fi issue; not so much inferior Fe. The experience of emotions might be a bit different for female INTPs, insofar as they are influenced by hormonal fluctuations, but nonetheless it's natural for us to to remain rather stoic and resort to intellectualizing as a coping mechanism, as we put our trust in logic over emotions. As a female, I stopped using hormonal contraception several months ago, and ever since then, I have been struck by the fact that I haven't cried once since. I feel so much more "like myself." I actually rather prefer the apathy to the alternative. While what the other commenter said about experience of extremes on both ends of the spectrum being necessary for a true appreciation of happiness (and moderation/balance, I might add) is true, I wouldn't attempt to force that experience. If the tears don't come, don't worry. If you buy into a socionics-type model of function stacking, the INTP's Fi, while being the most unconscious function, is actually rather balanced. You may be unaware of your feelings or it may be difficult to discern them, as well as your preferences and values much of the time (cue indecision). You may need to get away from the emotional noise pollution of others to even be capable of figuring out how you really feel, if you're anything like me. But the Fi being balanced should mean you won't experience many extreme fluctuations naturally. We just don't like people pushing on our Fi. Don't tell me what I'm feeling, what I should feel, or force me to focus on Fi too long. I've never been able to relate to what conscious-Fi users describe as "having a good cry;" it doesn't seem to purge much of anything or fulfill that cathartic role for me.

[@gigglesmcdounut723]

Welp, that's a starting point. You're so disconnected from your emotions you dont even know what you are feeling. First thing to do is start with small emotions and find the source of that emotion. Label it and see how it's a different from another emotion. Like sadness or disrespect. Both can be confused but if you take the time to really analyze the emotion then you will be able to tell the difference

[@tfranc347]

I'm pretty sure I have savior Fi.. the best thing I ever did for myself was start writing in a journal. I highly recommend it.

[@dylonias]

Bottled up negative emotions don't always come out as explosions, either. With Fi, it's like they overtake your personality and you leave little "fuck you" presents wherever you go. You don't even realize you're doing it, but when you figure it out, you feel ashamed. The trick is to accept it, experience the damn emotion (including the shame), show it to people, and then it GETS RESOLVED!

[@Terrazona929]

The end... 😆😆😆 wtf. Where do you find this stuff.

[@trayson]

aww cute bird at the end

[@michelleb.8862]

Yooo... that last clip tho. LOL

[@supertouk]

I can't imagine my emotions serving me at all. For me it's more the other way around.

[@georgefriderichandel8417]

Without emotions life would be dull

[@supertouk]

@@georgefriderichandel8417 I agree wholeheartedly!

[@gregsander8439]

Thats a great shirt tbh. 😏 Weird that I was thinking about the "being responsible for ones feelings" thing SECONDS before I saw the notification.

[@attheranch873]

The woman feeling as she was talking looks normal to me. That’s healthy.

[@tfranc347]

2:22 Dave is like "kill me now please and thank you"

[@eagleeggs3862]

same style dude just solid color shirts,comfortable

[@orangeziggy348]

I hope that guy isnt teaching the children to repress their feelings, to control them, to push them down. He claims to teach them to pick and choose which ones they like that help them succeed- how different is this then 'positive psychology'- which is just a fake way to get rid of every issue? They are there to teach you something, you must honor them.

[@oscarl.3563]

Crying doesn't seem all that useful to me, except to moisturize the eye.

[@is2475]

Plus the salt will irritates the skin

[@era1442]

For me, crying is such a good feeling when it's associated with letting go of emotions and accepting the way things are. I'm an INFP(M) though, and I think other types have different associations, and sensations with crying. Honestly, and as weird as this will sound, I love it when I cry, and I love the way it feels. I guess it's the endorphins or oxytocin or whatever, but I feel so good when it happens. I want to usually be alone in those times (going through my Fi-Si). Just wanted to give my perspective lol. I know some ppl are going to be like WTF?

[@oscarl.3563]

@@era1442 Nah they should be fine. Good thing you're giving your perspective.

[@dawnriddler]

Agreed. As someone who wears glasses, the only reason I'd make myself cry is if my eyes are getting too dry and I'm unable to see.

[@Eigenbros]

Was this inspired by the Bill Burr comedy special when he does the bit about his dog?

[@TheNicMMc]

Is there a dual when it comes to our animals?

[@johnearnshaw5036]

Issues get into your tissues! I'll get my coat.....

[@scilines]

😂

[@MrLuigiFercotti]

The problem with dealing with someone with strong Fe when you're a thinker, is that you're playing in their ballpark whenever you are dealing with interpersonal issues. You are going to get crushed. I'd rather have a root canal.

[@Sarahenfj]

The ending.....And why my name

[@ShoelessMeg]

Ugh. There's nothing worse than an Fe vomiting their emotions all over me. Put those things away where they belong! I don't want to see that!

[@2trntbls469]

LOL.. sigh.

[@d3vinette]

*sad Fe noises*

[@LemonMeIon]

1:41 How quickly the emotions come on... My INFJ girlfriend in a nutshell XD

[@cecelia948]

Oh yes, I scream cuss words at furniture all the time. I'm so weak in SE I sound like a crazy ass sailor girl. 😁 I also turn off youtube if there is something sad, no way am I bout to start crying. FE be getting on my nerves.

[@wissen9000]

i am 100% an Fi user lol Fe makes no sense to me

[@wissen9000]

someone of us is lying and it is not me

[@dallasjansen2226]

Do you feel as Fi user that expressing emotions outwardly makes the situation worse?

[@79Lexxus]

@@dallasjansen2226 yes cringefest

[@Chatoyancify]

@@dallasjansen2226 I'm an Fe demon user and definitely think it makes it worse with most people, not all. I take a moment to plan what to say to make sure others don't jump to emote too much because in vulnerable moments I don't want to spend the energy to comfort them in wanting to comfort me.

[@dallasjansen2226]

I think Fe in this explanation is very confusing and very unhealthy for me. Outwardly emoting equates “wallowing” for me and leads to ultimately going down to despair and hopelessness. It’s puzzling how this works for anyone !

[@mrbullmrbull]

ONLY STOICISM!!1