Feeling Good Is Not Necessarily a Sign of Health

[@renek.6434]

I used to say "I want to feel good". What I really meant though is "I want to feel safe in my body".

[@karacaokan]

that is nice.

[@poifish7442]

Another way to phrase it is "I want to feel at peace"

[@renek.6434]

@@poifish7442 Yes! And that doesn't exclude feeling unformfortable sometimes.

[@sipincutanjingbali6786]

me too. I want to feel safe being human.

[@Kimoto504]

Thank you. My sense is that at the end of the day that is what's most wanted, to feel safe in our skin... To feel ok to just be. But that's what's at the bedrock level of our deep inner needs. We've been forced out of the solar system by our trauma at times so we're not even aware what planet we belong on in terms of our deep inner needs. And we need to get to the bedrock of that planet yet don't even know it exist. Worse still, we're often vehement resistant to looking in that direction because doing so is shamed in our society/culture.

[@xxx83221]

Often when people say "I have let it go" what they really mean is "I have successfully distracted myself enough to meet the social standard of being a functioning member of society."

[@Lagom0rph]

Which is quite tragic in my opinion because it overwrites the real power of being able to "let go" which shouldn't be underestimated. Letting go shouldn't be about distracting yourself from what's making you feel bad, ideally I see it as the opposite. Taking the bull by the horns and dealing with the reality of things so that you can truly figure out within yourself if you should actually move on or not from the thought that's causing you to feel bad

[@bluevayero]

@xxx83221 How do you know that? Perhaps you're just projecting. @Lagom0rph This guy gets it!

[@Felix-s9z7i]

Spiritual by-passing.

[@lynnehendersonfisher]

Yes.. letting go really means feeling fully, letting it flood you, finding its limits and then it dissipates. Ive tried this recently and ive been surprised that it does work😊​@@Lagom0rph

[@onelmstreet8839]

Yeah bc being alone seems like the worst thing.. complicated if ya cant come back

[@Diogenes-96]

“What people actually want is to feel less”. Bang on.

[@christinebadostain6887]

well, the society in which we reside gives one many signals that truly feeling is bad

[@amiravonhayden]

I'm so grateful for your authentic voice, a rare person who keeps it real.

[@ShelleyTwedt]

As a defenseless, little girl, my father used to scream at me, totally out of control, and put me in terror. Then he would retreat to the living room, sit in his favorite easy chair, and calmly and peacefully read his optometric magazine. He felt much, much better. I have massive CPTSD to this day.

[@renticat]

Me too but he also physically attack me and throwing my things back then. I am the punching bag but my sis is not. I hate this world. He raised me to be nothing yet he mad at me being nothing. I wish i had the resource back then but mostly world makes me depressed. I always asking why they choose to have children if they gonna resent them anyway. It's just another supply for narc to be in control.

[@adcap631]

Thank you. This is the best video I've seen on child trauma trauma. In my 40's I saw my father die screaming like a baby for his neglectful mother. That's why he was such a brute. Then I found my own 'screaming baby'. An out of control part of me that needed to be held and loved. No one understood, my therapist felt it was 'time to grow up whilst friends raised eyebrows when I described my inner pain. It is boring for others. I separated from most of them and now I'm finding me, and oceans of pain, violence and grief. Embodiment has helped me massively, expressing the pain through my whole body. I've been described as a tramp and a junky (I'm not, though I was an approval junky). I'm healing, and it ain't pretty. But I'm more me. Thank you again Daniel.

[@bink865]

Scrolling my fave internet sites makes me feel better, but it's a substitute for living somewhere I fit in. I will try to make that happen this year.

[@HEALTHANDWEALTHCHANNEL-h6o]

Don't hurt yourself dawg. Were here for you!

[@lizzi437]

You can make it happen today!

[@Jjj21574]

That’s very relatable

[@Douglas-gu4my]

I find that the feeling I usually want to feel is the feeling of authenticity - if I have the experience of sadness or depression and give myself permission to rest in that feeling rather than try to fix it I find that I suffer less. I’ve tried to pursue happiness when what I really authentically feel is grief or sadness. It’s usually because of the fear of pain and fear of judgement about it (society have a lot of judgement about people who suffer). I have a lot of shame around being in pain. Life is about having an open heart - about discovery, openness and curiosity rather than pursuit of certain mood states, at least for me.

[@julian8411]

very interesting topic to think about.

[@AcceptandAct]

Exactly. It's not enough to just feel good. The positive feelings have to be coming from a meaningful, benign source. Eating chocolate cake or doing drugs also make people feel good - doesn't mean that they're healthy or useful. Also, a lot of people confuse self-soothing in this way with "healing". Healing starts when we learn to consciously, deliberately turn towards our difficult emotions with purpose.

[@Aaliyah-zb1ub]

Great video! This video definitely made me realize that a lot of what I believe makes me feel good (my phone, music and tv) are really just mere distractions from the deeper issue. The desire to find a group of people that I can truly connect with or someone to share fun experiences with. I think this year would be a great opportunity to find activities outside of the house to meet new people.

[@user-gz4zz8qf6r]

amazing video as always :)

[@Daneiladams555]

I was a drug addict I’ve just switched out my drug habit with internet , and caffeine My addiction continues

[@cebruthius]

Not being chemically impaired is a huge achievement!

[@The_New_Abnormal_World_Order]

Heh heh, me too. People are addicted to all kinds of things.

[@irenahabe2855]

​@@cebruthius Coffee is chemical as well. Mind and mood altering. I had to give that up as well. 🍀

[@cebruthius]

@@irenahabe2855 For many, coffee and productive activities are compatible. If it doesn't work for you, abstinence is the thing to do 👍

[@MrRellic]

It's very difficult to stay on the healing path, as when you become more integrated and alive, those dissociative tendencies that society offers such as compulsive romance, sexual validation, and consumerism become more obtainable. However those things pause my healing and feed my less healthy sides, the junkie escapist side who instead of being focused on growing and building beautiful friendships, wants to be enveloped in enough distraction and feel good chemicals to avoid moments in healing that turbulent, confusing, and painful which may last a while. These videos are healthy guide posts that help me reorient and reevaluate. What I notice is when I say "no" to alluring dissociative tendencies, that wounded inner child comes out to say "But I'm so hurt/deprived/lonely/rejected/abandoned". That's who I'm feeling more for, the me who was forced to obliterate their sense of self for emotional survival. Thank you.

[@PassionateFlower]

I love the ending💚🌳Keep growing🌱 Growth = The opposite of death

[@mimszanadunstedt441]

Can a cup be too full?

[@sarahcouture24]

You are such a truth seer Daniel. And a truth speaker. Very rare today indeed.

[@kismet-o6k]

Most people don't like pain and will do anything to avoid it.

[@Kimoto504]

Bless you, dude. Only Gabor Mate comes close to your depth of seeing. This content you've been discussion for so long really needs to be central to all psychology, even all healthcare. It's the truest, most direct, most honest, and practical. Yet even the psych/therapy fields fail miserably in accounting for it except sometimes in a merely academic sense, not in-situ and not in terms of the understanding they work with clients from. I'd say that the world of spirituality (as dealing with awakening/liberation) seriously, desperately needs to integrate this understanding as well. Spiritual and inner work is based on nothing but what you discuss in these videos yet "leaders" and "teachers" in the field tend to ignore and even view it and those trouble with trauma contemptuously to the point of causing even more harm. They're not much different from the rest of society in this respect. On the outside, we do want to feel less. That's what our culture, society, parents, peers, etc. incentivizes. That's all we know. Going against that brings more pain internally and externally from others. Deep down we do want to be well, to be a peace, or as another commenter said "to feel safe in our body." The trauma creates stuck and frozen versions of us. Those versions want to feel safe in their skin, to feel OK to just be/exist. That's the bedrock of what we want beneath the surface. Getting *to* the surface, much less below it is a hell of a challenge for many, much less getting below. Humaning is hard.

[@Sabadiver]

I'm really feeling it right now. Just turned 40, spent my life working around the world as a dive instructor, mostly in the Caribbean. Now back in Scotland and not sure where to go and what to do. No relationship no kids completely free. What do I do next? Feels like I need a change. 10 years sober aswell from alcohol. And so as Daniel says 'I want to keep growing'

[@KanyeKetchup]

Australia Its good life

[@AxaFin]

if someone says they want to feel good I mostly associate that with feeling good physically and that just requires working out, good sleep and nutrition. fixing my mental stuff has been a lot easier when I'm more in tune with my body by training.

[@prismbrandingrealestatebra6301]

Becareful when you meet men who claim to have 'overcome' their childhood trauma. Trauma is not a hill one can conquer. Most men end their trauma work once they are are earning as much as their peers. They consider this pairity in earning to mean they are now healed and in the eyes of others they may seem that way.

[@ryank6322]

Yes, many measure their health in comparison to the material wealth of others.

[@phoeni3902]

Lately I've been thinking to myself that I don't really want to pursue 'happiness' because the word itself doesn't really mean much to me, and instead of wanted to pursue this: To be at peace with the past, to be grateful for the present, and feel positive about my future Those 3 feelings are what I'm doing my best to bring myself toward, doing my best to make the healthy changes that are necessary to attain those

[@kismet-o6k]

I like your kind of 'happiness', which I believe has a place in this world.

[@KenWimbley61]

D. Mac out here changing lives.🙏🏼

[@pod9363]

Gotta be a real big Mackler fan to know his secret SoundCloud rapper name.

[@SM90X]

Daniel you are on of the best person who has ever walked on this planet

[@irenahabe2855]

He is honest, real. 😊

[@SM90X]

„Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.“ Alan Watts

[@mimszanadunstedt441]

Except when forming a Union is involved in mud.

[@irenahabe2855]

💙 My brother from another mother. 💙 BRGDS from Slovenia, Europe.

[@alexxx4434]

By feeling better it's often means to make the pain go away, hence self medication and addiction.

[@ms.mavris]

beautiful video, Daniel! Very important information! Thank you so much ❤

[@springwood1331]

Agree dissociation from our feelings isn't good. And, two points, first sometimes I have to distract from emotions (especially when they get overwhelming) in order to function. Second, feeling our emotions can include all our emotions, some of which are joy, happiness, awe, wonder etc. It is okay to feel good sometimes

[@kismet-o6k]

Feeling better to me means feeling less anxious and hopefully understood by the kind people I know.

[@Gabster1990]

I noticed when I didn't challenge myself, I felt 'good'.

[@connorholmes8786]

Daniel I want to feel and need to feel thank you so much for walking us through these prevailing and revitalizing thoughts

[@jamesboswell9324]

You have taught me to understand the proper meaning of dissociation and by extension to see better my own process of growth. About 40 years ago, I actually remember complaining to a friend that I felt so emotionally flat. It wasn't that I felt unhappy but that I never felt much joy or indeed anything much. At that time, I presumed it was just an unusual feature of my character. I had no idea how much crap I'd pushed down into my unconscious, or even what the unconscious really is. But this loss of affect had turned me into a spectator on life and basically I already found this annoying. The little I did know about psychology back then was extremely muddled, but the subject always fascinated me. Presumably I wanted to know more about it because I desperately needed to understand in order to begin to heal myself. That process began about 40 years ago and is ongoing. But here's the reason for my comment... it is through your uploads more than anywhere else that I have come to understand the basic problem: what dissociation truly is and how we can overcome it through grieving. You have given me conscious understanding of a deep psychological process that had been ongoing. You cut through so much crap about this subject. So thank you, Daniel.

[@kismet-o6k]

I feel the same way about Daniel's uploads🙂

[@bluevayero]

This idea sounds like the psychological equivalent of an epistemological aphorism I heard recently that says "some people don't need the truth, they just need an answer". I think it's pretty accurate.

[@d_chatz8353]

What does it mean?

[@SpiritualDoves]

Could you please explain what the word means?❤

[@bluevayero]

It means what it says: some people are so troubled by the unanswered questions in life that they will settle for any answer instead of saying "I don't know". Not knowing can be hard, it can make you vulnerable. And seeking constantly can get exhausting. But if you honestly seek the truth, you will not allow yourself to believe things without sufficient reason just to "feel good".

[@SpiritualDoves]

@@bluevayero ahhh thank youu

[@lilyghassemzadeh]

Some people, who seem quite ordinary and not psychopaths or sociopaths, seriously enjoy putting others down. Unfortunately this realization hits us, who hate belittling others, very late in life.

[@Launyx]

Daniel, thank you, I wish everyone were as clear-sighted and honest as you are in their ways of looking at their parents' behaviors. Most of the time, people refuse to admit the evil side of their significant others, and talking about that evil side is not socially acceptable...

[@abeydore]

I actually feel sad maybe self pitty as you said, that you have blocked parts in yourself cause, you are one of the most healed person I actually "know", and you are like a Star full of hope for people like me, cause you work on yourself and want to get useful to others... well maybe on the other hand, the coming generation will be much more healthier because of your honesty and your trauma processing

[@nickopeters]

I find this very useful. It makes total sense.

[@adonaiel-rohi2460]

This is a world filled with abusers especially child abusers. Why are people bringing new humans here? Bringing a new person here to be vigilant constantly. If they aren’t vigilant they get victimized.

[@mimszanadunstedt441]

Because they *want to abuse them*

[@JakeEaton-jf5mj]

Great video, thank you for your contribution to my healing process as well as the collective healing.

[@CompassionIsPower]

I love your work so much, Daniel. Thank you for this clarity.

[@ninacannizzaro8569]

Oh Daniel, I just love you. This is such good work, speaking the real truth. Feeling fully, pulling out those hidden, shut-off parts -- all of that has just saved my life. Has grown my heart in a way I couldn't have imagined (plant medicine has been integral in this process I have to say). Very grateful that I don't use other people (at least) to feed my addictions or try to "win the game" as you say. A wonderful contribution, many many thanks!!

[@agatagoldy]

Daniel, thank you for your insights 🙏

[@punkt_txt]

Thank you again Daniel ! You reached me again today, like you already did repeatedly in the past. You really bring value to the people ❤

[@applepie9937]

I just wanted to say I started working as a social worker for assisted living for mentally ill clients last year and you are one of those teachers who I come back to from time to time to remind myself what it's really about. I do not fit in with the way I treat people there and as someone with a big history of alot of trauma i am always so sad to see how we treat our clients. What I mean is that I am very grateful for your insight, thank you!

[@lucagethmann7682]

Props for still putting out these absolute bangers! Also you're in your 50s? God damn I wish I'll look like you when I'm your age

[@fraulauf]

You`re a brave man, indeed, Daniel. What you´re doing is important. I can imagine that it´s terrifying to publish your thoughts. But I´m glad you´re doing it nonetheless. It helped me a lot. Still does. Thank you for your work and for sharig your insights!

[@cebruthius]

This is some good, wild truth

[@BootcampBobby_3]

You definitely say things that people can follow and that they find useful.

[@jaye5872]

I'm so sorry u were abused by ur dad Daniel 🫂 U deserved much much better 🤍

[@kaitlyn_leigh]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. A thousand times, thank you.

[@gulcan132]

This video, ironically, makes me feel so much better, thank you. ❤

[@lilithjesus7718]

🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 damn this is fire , Daniel . your quality of truth vibration is felt refreshingly & powerfully . I'm really struggling through a growth process which has included much self-numbing fog from my own tormenting feelings. when I listen to you speak , my own lifelong experiences in the therapy circles and in seeking healing echoes back so joyously, because I'm used to knowing these truths you speak on , more on an unarticulated level. Hearing you say these things aloud inspire me deeply. 🤜🤛 from a fellow lifelong nightmare experiencer 🖤 🌌

[@BonRain8734]

I can follow what you say in your videos and I appreciate them. I received very helpful insights from the very first one I watched. Thank you. Your words and perspective are very powerful.

[@kimberlyn1278]

Thank you Daniel. You are so very helpful to me in all ways. Much love. 🙏

[@milenajelich276]

I admire your courage and intelligence ! ❤️🙏🏻🌹❤️

[@saharkhalili5303]

I really thank you Daniel. Your reflections get my parasympathetic going. It's so useful after a day of disconnection and overwhelm.

[@pod9363]

When youre stuck in a place in life that doesnt fascilitate grieving, feeling nothing is preferable to feeling endless suffering.

[@pod9363]

Please someone give me some kinda counter-argument cause it doesn't feel healthy to do but I have no other options I know of that work. Ive tried the cold-turkey thing and it just leads to debilitating overwhelm.

[@NatureHeadSupreme]

"But I challenge that" I knew right there PROFESSOR Mackler was coming with a fully loaded presentation. Bravo, again. 🏆

[@irenahabe2855]

😊💚

[@qoup22]

great content as always, thank you.

[@bluemoony102]

Thank 🙏🏼 YOU for existing Daniel ♥️

[@the81kid]

"I want to feel happy" = "I want to feel just one emotion". It seems to be related to this, "happiness is a choice" mantra which a lot of people repeat now. As though the responsibility for your emotional health is mostly, or completely, yours, and how others treat you doesn't matter.

[@theelectricalengineer]

Genius, Daniel!⭐

[@jacobeickhardt84]

you are truly a strong human being! respect

[@BiskupBiurko]

Namaste my dear friend!@

[@LurkingLinnet]

Thank you so much for sharing, thank you for so much for speaking up, thank you so much for this channel, thank you so much for bringing this up....Grateful...

[@AnacreonSchoolbagsJr]

The pain of the healing process should be a destination on the path to feeling better overall. I don't think we should be satisfied with dwelling in grieving longterm.

[@northyland1157]

I feel healthy. I feel good about my health. My A1c is 4.8.

[@Zercfit]

I want too feel good is often i want to be able too act like nothing bad happened to me and my parents are great

[@foggyspinks]

I'd like to see Mackler do a guitar video or two where he just plays some fun riffs. He might have already done this but I always enjoy his acoustic outro and think it would be cool

[@brigitte9999]

Thank you Daniel

[@psyspy6198]

Hello Daniel I'm worried about you. I hope you have a really good friend and you're not being personally attacked or vilified for being a brilliant person in the world. Hope this doesn't sound like a slimey, inappropriate comment. Just really have appreciated your work over the years. I'm currently under psychiatric care in Wales. Over ten years. I hate my life. I don't know how to get free. If projecting at all I apologise. I don't know how different it is in New York. I visited there for a week when I was 18. I lived in a hostel. And visited the empire state building. It was amazing and different. I also saw Rothko. In person I love his paintings. I hope you're alright. ❤

[@khyatiurfmaya]

I'm not gonna watch this video simply because I've finally stopped using therapy videos as a crutch because I kept myself confused/handicapped. But yeah, all I was when I sometimes felt happy, was dazed. In a haze. And I'm finally starting to feel crystal clear, and so yeah, just wanted to add to the conversation.

[@reaganwiles_art]

Yes. Yes. Yes.

[@martinafreyjakartelo1852]

You so make sense!!!!!

[@patrickpoulsen1]

Thank you for sharing Daniel. :-)

[@willd6215]

To be with those parts of us that hold onto the pain and to show them they can hang out with us. As for other people. Let them......

[@irenahabe2855]

💯 Integrate all parts. Let them...

[@willd6215]

@irenahabe2855 let them be.

[@irenahabe2855]

@@willd6215 🍀

[@rickturnr]

People who supposedly feel good most of the time are probably not paying attention

[@kirsikka3752]

Dissociation comes before the bad feelings.

[@stewiegriffin4828]

Oh wow, you nailed it. This is the second KZbin video I have heard the analogy between sex and bullying and how they both involve inflicting pain, except that the pain in the former is exciting and pleasurable for both the inflictor and the inflicted while the pain in the latter is exciting and pleasurable for only the inflictor. I suffered under a bully supervisor who kept asking a lot of NSFW questions. Something told me he was really obsessed with sex and getting the hot babe. What an empty, vapid "person."

[@juliemathis4851]

Thank you for your work and your courage and steadfastness. Listening to your hard-won insights opens my eyes to some things and confirms other things that I know but haven't had the words for. Your candor steels me for the work I need and want to do, and softens me toward my partner, who has his own work. As I get ready for tonight's sleep, I feel heartened and steadied that, at 54, it's not too late to keep growing. I look so forward to rehearing this video and to encountering more of your work here and on your website.

[@nancywysemen7196]

this is really a good one. oh God. sorry,well,shocked, by the nightmares.....old and in my friendly quilts at night. not so much to burn off.

[@jakerivets2249]

One of your best

[@zah936]

Thanks

[@oflameo8927]

My issue was reversed, I need to think less, and to do that, I need to feel more. The psychology academy was an obstacle to that.

[@theodorurhed]

This is some real shit. Pain is real and the only way is through. Pick up your cross. Also, you look great for 50!

[@ginaiosef]

Thank you! ❤

[@joannjulian3417]

So true

[@vincentzacks9584]

Daniel, you carry a lot of pain, bro.

[@mixedlag]

Listening to this, makes me wonder about your take on the somatic piece plus the polyvagal theory. Right now, talking about the nervous system and how to heal it is all over the internet in relation to healing from trauma as well as immune disorders. I agree that dissociation and using addictive compounds are not the way to go. But when you are feeling so much so intensely from bringing up the trauma by either talking or writing about it, the insight doesn't always come and even if it does, the pain can be so intense that emotional dysregulation takes over. So then (I know in my case) I've taken that out on others. Not like I wanted to or felt it was justifiable. But I'll snap at them if they say something, even the most innocuous things can rub what feels like a raw nerve after having brought up some past trauma while realizing how absolutely horrible I was treated. Taking it out on others is no way to operate in life though. So how to do this without having to isolate and shut myself in a room until it's all out of me? Because tbh, this is likely a lifelong endeavor.

[@carospereman3537]

Live in the present moment because that's all we have. I choose to feel good and happy in that moment. It is a decision we make, IMO. So as Abraham Lincoln once said, "Folks are gonna be as happy as they want to be." Don't worry, be happy.

[@kimlec3592]

The problem is usually problems in the present, not the past.

[@Lichnaya_pravda]

May be, some people do. But the state I like most, is not "feeling less". Its when I feel surge of energy. When I feel like I can walk 24 hours, or work tirelessly, hightened mood, somewhat agressive (feeling no fear to challenge others and even physically fight). Unfortunately, this hypomaniacal states are quite rare. It has nothing to do with objective outer life circumstances, pure brain chemistry.

[@hadiza1]

🔥🔥🔥

[@ryeofoatmeal]

when I read the title makes me perplexed, how is that so? that's counterintuitive. but after watching the video, I totally understand... 😕

[@ThatAnggi22]

Hi Daniel, I was wondering if you could review a book called Your Journey, Your Way by Horatio Clare. He mentioned Open Dialogue in it as another approach to treat mental distress. I’d love to hear your take on it because I rarely encounter any mainstream books about mental health that brings it up 🙏🏼

[@karolina.bimbaite]

Thank you for sharing. I also started to write down my dreams. How do you analyse them?

[@irenahabe2855]

I write dreams down (almost every morning I remember at least one of them) and the revelations or insights or thoughts or feelings come with /after writing. It’s self revealing. Give it time. Not all dreams have a big msg. Let it selfprocess. Sometimes I connect deam themes with my awake life themes spontaneously later, during the day. Or see the parallels. The obvious templates of my life, emotional life mostly.

[@deepdive888]

Impossible to feel good in this cruel world all the time. Feeling good while other creatures are suffering = lack of empathy.

[@alsdean]

Suffering when others suffer is not the way, it‘s not necessary, but sure if it‘s someone really close ur going to feel it (probably)

[@lyrablack8621]

It's more of a lack of compassion

[@turolretar]

Sometimes you have to turn a blind eye

[@khadi818]

@@turolretar absolutely not

[@notasuperuser]

What about people with Anhedonai who feel nothing, where everything feels flat? Those people suffer the most.

[@RachelRichards]

Is it normal to suffer if you live in a world in which we're cut off from our natural environment? Honest question.

[@irenahabe2855]

What about (also): cut ofg from ourselves.

[@josephl6289]

Daniel, do you ever feel self-obsessed with all the introspection? I find I literally get exhausted of analyzing myself and others. What degree of narcissism do you think is involved in such high degrees of introspection?

[@irenahabe2855]

😂 Narcissists don't introspect, that's the problem. We introspect couse we feel the feelings, the trauma, reflect on it. It’s not overdoing it. This is who we are.