Feeling Lonely in 2021

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Instagram: alex_cooke27
Snapchat: Cookeemonst3r

[@chiarap7826]

I love your channel, you come across as very genuine and real, plus the topics you choose to talk about are always near and dear to my heart! I also love how insightful and articulate you are, it's like you're saying exactly what i'd like to say but a million times better lol

[@CookeeMonsterr]

Thanks for the kind words and support Chiara 😊

[@AllanDatGuy]

It's hard when you're unable to be social. I've gone through lonely times and know how it feels. I miss school for the social aspect because it was so much easier to see people. I was in a lonely bubble myself but what helped me was going to a card shop every week where I played tabletop games. Thanks to that I now have a group of friends that I meet up as frequently as every week. I still want to meet new people but I don't how to facilitate that because I'm an introvert, I don't start conversations, and I'm bad at small talk. :/ What might help you is finding a hobby where you meet people in person every week or so. Also as far as old friends try to send them a message again. Maybe ask if they want to remain friends because maybe they've moved on. It can be hard to ask but I think it'd be better than holding onto a false hope. Online communities are a thing but they definitely don't replace in person relationships. Good luck in your endeavors :)

[@Paula_Limberg]

I understand what you mean! I don't have Facebook and had to get comfortable with the idea that there would be wonderful people I met in my travels that I would have to let come and go from my life. Of course we can try to keep in touch like you said about video calls, but it's not the same as actually experiencing life together. And then that feels lonely because I just met this cool person I would love to be friends with, but realistically, I have to know we'll say goodbye. Have you heard of cohousing? The idea is that people choose purposefully to live in community with each other. Some cohousing communities are multiple colocated dwellings with a shared common space; some are like your college experience, with everyone in one building. The common thread is that the members purposefully interact and do stuff as a community. Shared meals, go to events together, work the garden together, actually talk to each other, just hang out, etc. Share resources like books and cooking ingredients as needed, maybe even help kids with their homework if the parents are overwhelmed. It's a lovely idea, and maybe not far from your experience in the 3rd year of uni. I looked into it when I moved 2 years ago, but there wasn't an opening at the time at my local one. I am still curious about it, though! What would you think about that?

[@CookeeMonsterr]

Nice to see you here as always Paula. Yes it’s actually similar to what I did when I was living abroad. I purposefully chose to live in a place with other people for these reasons that you elaborate on. And I did like this and I’m glad I decided to do this rather than living alone, especially in such a tough period

[@Paula_Limberg]

@@CookeeMonsterrCool! I just Googled cohousing UK and it looks like there are communities all over the country! Interesting... 😊 I also happen to know that a person can attend events and get to know the others without necessarily living there yet. Sounds nice to be friends with them and see if it would be a good fit.

[@brambi455]

This is a fear I have for when I grow up. All my friends want to move out of our province and live somewhere far away. We hang out almost every weekend and I fear that if everyone moves we will all lose touch. It happened before with one friend that moved to another province for university for a year. He barely reached out or talked to me. I tried me best to talk to him but it really hurt me that there was hardly no effort on his part. He moved back now and we talk almost everyday. I still feel ill towards how he shut me out for that one year but I value our friendship so much. I hope you’re doing well. You’ve shared so much with us so I thought it’s only fair to also share with you.

[@dawntripp1974]

I’m so sorry to hear this. You are such a lovely guy and I know you would be an incredible friend! Maybe you can find a travel Meetup group for people in your age range. :-). Good luck to you!! Sending you a hug across the pond!

[@beaulieuonnp593]

I can relate to a lotI of this. I live in a rural area and I don't have a car and am used to spending a lot of my life alone. I always travel alone, go to cafes and restaurants alone , cycle and walk alone. As a woman or a young girl, we are always expected to have loads of friends. I don't remember the last time I even went to a friend's house. I have social anxiety which just adds to the loneliness. However, I do have a boyfriend, via online dating, and basically he is someone I do everything with. I did actually go to a Women's group up in London and we did beauty things like making masks, so that was my first time, I did girly things with people, but it was organised. It was very good. Of course it wasn't something I would make friends with. In our village we don't run any events , and there is a lack of community. I do run a volunteer group so I have friends that way but we don't ever meet up socially. I am so used to it now.

[@zonairrohan9075]

I hear YOU!... I'm in the same boat but the difference is I have a massive social circle and a bunch of best friends. The problem, and I blame being an ace a bit too, is that I picture them in my future as if life isn't gonna affect us... But it is, for example my best friend jus told me that he's gonna go ahead and get married to this gal (she's cool) but I'm afraid I'll be-- replaced or the future that I see, isn't gonna be the same anymore. A lot of them are getting married these days... And this is one of my biggest fears that life is gonna happen and I'll be alone in the end especially cause I'm an ace and everyone's gonna move on with their life. I hate this feeling. I 100% agree... The example that you gave of 'How I Met Your Mother'. Why can't I make a family out of people that I like and I know for a fact they like me back but... Jeez. Listen if I'm ever in UK... We'll definitely hang or can do live sesh to if your are up for it. Damn lonileness!

[@CookeeMonsterr]

Hit me up if you ever come to England 😊

[@skippy1000011]

Thanks for this video. I can really relate to what you describe here. I've always been a loner and rubbish at keeping in touch with friends, so no one else to blame in my case. Also, no one else is walking in your shoes, its ok to vent, no judgement here 🙂 take care of yourself mate

[@CookeeMonsterr]

Thanks for the words of support! Sounds like you're in a similar boat. I'm always here if you want someone to talk to.

[@skippy1000011]

Cheers @@CookeeMonsterr, you too mate, really enjoying your blogs, so much to relate to, you're a star 🙂

[@chrysatr]

You hit home once again

[@rachelfrisbee3807]

you come across as such a genuinely lovely person- I teach sexual health in schools and your clips have given me such insight into asexuality to hopefully help me to give a more informed explanation and greater depth of knowledge to students. Thank you so much and I hope you find the happiness in life that you truly deserve

[@ellentomas3995]

I can totally relate to that. I understand you're not talking about asexual loneliness especifically, but I feel this is much worse for us.

[@Challengeteamz]

New subscriber here.. Wow amazing videos dear friend, have a great weekend to you, 🙏🙏

[@zefugainspe]

hello, i have just recently found your channel but just really wanted to say that i can relate to a lot of what you say in this video. i don't assume this really helps when you're feeling low but thought i'd say it anyway:) take care of yourself!

[@CookeeMonsterr]

Thanks for the kind words. I’m glad my videos help you 😊

[@beaulieuonnp593]

I think people these days don't want to make long term friends, you always feel that they are not interested. I did meet with a few people while I was out travelling, but after years went by, it fizzled out when they got a boyfriend or girlfriend and settled down. Making friends is very hard these days and I don't really want work friends, as I like to keep things separate

[@PrathameshBhat7288]

HI5 buddy, good vID!

[@Erundilme]

I highly recommend joining a local queer organisation if you have a chance and if this kind of activism interests you at all of course. Queer friends are the best friends in my experience 💖

[@dvffYT]

Vent all you want, we all need someone to talk to (*^▽^*)👍

[@dvffYT]

Have you considered getting a pet? (=^･ｪ･^=)

[@helenpayne9305]

voo.fyi grand