Feeling Stuck In Therapy?

Know that there will always be times in therapy when we feel stuck or as if we are sliding back into old unhealthy behaviors, but like I have always said, it’s a process not perfection. So don’t think that your stagnancy means that you can’t or won’t get better, it just means that you are human, and we have to figure out why it’s happening and work to overcome it. So let’s get into six ways to overcome that stuck feeling....
I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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[@MrJoon360]

"Don't think that your stagnancy means that you can't or won't get better, it just means that you're human"---wow 1 minute in and dropping some gems. Lovely stuff!

[@SarahLizDoan]

YES!!

[@aliceg2890]

I’m having to do tele -therapy whilst dealing with childhood trauma and also whilst going through reporting it. It’s so difficult. But you’re videos are helping so much not being able to see my therapist face to face! Thank you 💜

[@MS-mp9om]

Hi Alice, you're not alone! I'm in a very similar situation. Sending you well wishes.

[@Katimorton]

I am so glad I could help during such a difficult time.

[@vlinderassistance2943]

Alice G hi there! I’m in a similar situation as well, wish you lots of strength❤️

[@visionaryventures12]

I feel I’m losing something for not meeting in person, but there’s a bright side. I can talk about myself without looking at her.

[@aliceg2890]

Geoffrey Linehan exactly. It feels like you’re really missing out. But I feel like I can be more open by not being in the same room! No having to deal with eye contact!

[@storytellerhut3488]

This is a great video about how to get more out of therapy even if you aren’t feeling stuck. This is so helpful. Thanks Kati!

[@Katimorton]

Awe yay!! I am so glad you found it helpful :) xoxo

[@keshet3327]

can you please talk about emotion blocking? when you dont feel emotions becouse you blocked them or trauma (idk the name in english) *added* im not talking about dissocation. im talking about being emotionlly numb

[@megankidd4671]

Hey, just wanna say that your English is quite good. I wouldn’t know if you didn’t say you weren’t sure how to spell trauma. 😊

[@_just_TK]

keshet33 Kati actually just answered a similar question in her podcast!! kzbin.info/www/bejne/jp-wgK17gNitqbs

[@BeingBeaden]

Is that the same as dissocation or a form of dissocation? Been trying to work this out for myself.

[@_just_TK]

BeingBeaden in my experience, disassociation is more in the moment when you’re under so much distress that u “blank out”. I think this person is talking about feeling numb all the time & not being able to process any emotions. They are very closely related & often times a person who is pushing down their feelings to the point of feeling numb, also will have episodes of disassociation when the feels start to all bubble up at once

[@couchpotatoe511]

I have the same problem. Still couldn't figure out how to overcome it.

[@laurenc9214]

I’ve seen the same therapist for over 5 years now. I never get homework from our sessions. I feel like I’m on repeat a lot of the time and I hear lots of “that’s difficult” and other similar phrases. The most common feedback I receive is trying to just stop thinking when I’m feeling overwhelmed and meditation. I feel comfortable with my therapist after all of these years, and she is also nice, but I’m worried I’m not progressing the way I should be. It’s a lot of talk therapy.

[@_just_TK]

Lauren C maybe you’ve gone as far as u can with this therapist. Have u thought about looking for a new one?

[@laurenc9214]

Possibly. I know I’ve gotten comfortable and it’s just that my history feels so complex .. maybe it’s just the fear of starting from the beginning again?

[@jolieedwards612]

Lauren C that is such a scary feeling. i have been seeing my therapist since i was 7 years old, and i was hesitant to see a new therapist because i felt so “comfortable”. the best advice i could give you would be that if you are at all questioning leaving, so it. step out of your comfort zone, just for a minute, and try to find a better fit. finding a better fit is so rewarding. it may not happen right away, but you deserve to give yourself the best chance. 💕 i’m sending you love. it’s not easy, but i believe in you! so what’s best for you, and i think you know what that is ;)💕

[@_just_TK]

Lauren C also, I’m not sure where u live but in The States, if you request it, therapists legally have to provide 3 viable referrals

[@felixcat9455]

I’m in the same boat. Been seeing the same therapist for like 3 years and she basically just asks how’s work, how’s social life etc. same thing every time. I keep hoping she can provide some insight that I cannot see but I feel like I do more analysis than she does.

[@tompalmer5986]

I get stuck in therapy almost immediately. I'm afraid that if I do transfer my negative emotions onto my therapist we could end up hating each other. I always talked about the same thing in therapy. It probably was the most formative factor in my life, but I've pretty well talked myself out about that. There are other issues too. I think everybody goes into therapy thinking that the pdoc will just make some kind of comment, or say a few words, and they will be cured of their mental illness.

[@TheKiwiSlayer]

therapist that's been in therapy, here: I found that when i felt most stuck, it's because I experienced some rupture in the therapeutic bond and in both cases, she wasn't aware and was completely caught off guard. We very successfully repaired and grew together because of that, and I appreciated having that unknowing rupture, leading into a positive repair, modeled for me as a clinician

[@Neonb88]

What's a therapeutic bond? In 50 words or less, if possible :P

[@annegibson7867]

I am feeling stuck in therapy. I think it is because I have not had in person therapy since March 13. It just seems like I am getting nowhere.

[@annegibson7867]

This damn video therapy is no longer working for me. I understand it is the only way but I am considering stopping. The only reason I can't is because with this practice is in order to see the psychiatrist is to do therapy.

[@_just_TK]

Anne Gibson I was feeling exhausted & sometimes even worse after my video sessions. I found that one of the major issues was I was getting distracted by seeing myself on screen. I started covering my section of the screen w/ a post it note & it helped A TON

[@theginjakids1694]

It may be helpful to discuss this with your therapist to explore ways to make the sessions feel more productive for you. Your therapist who knows you can explore if there are slight changes they, or you, can make to create an improvement...or just process through the disappointment of not seeing one another in person.

[@janetslater129]

I started therapy at the end of March/early April due to trauma I had in mid-March. At the time, my therapist could only do video sessions or phone sessions. To me, I feel that so much more is gained from seeing each other in person than online or on the phone. With me being a visual person, there’s a lot to be gained from seeing a person in their office because I can pick up other things about my therapist that I may not have otherwise seen. Plus, it also seems to work better for her as she can do the same thing with me. It’s like we have a whole added layer of communication that happens vs online or on the phone.

[@marygrott8095]

I feel the same way and just posted asking what I should do, since my therapist has not mentioned when or if she'll be returning to the office. We do trauma work, and neither of us are comfortable doing that via video.

[@GuillermoOrozcoPsicologo]

Thanks!! As a therapist I absolutly agree 😊

[@oona9039]

How were u able to know what she said bc the video is 9 minutes long and u comented that 2min after this was uploaded

[@GuillermoOrozcoPsicologo]

@@oona9039 First: I see the first 2 minutes, I like it, and I agree. Second: I write the comment. Third: I watch the entire video to see if I have to edit the comment. Fourth: I agree with the comment I wrote and do not edit it. You're welcome

[@Artemis583]

Thanks for this. I have been going to my therapist for basic relationship issues for a over year and we don't have goals or any structure. I just go and vent, get validated and then the 45 min are over 😕. I do my own work outside of it and don't feel like our sessions are adding any value and tbh I feel worse about myself. I'll try to speak up next time.

[@_just_TK]

Artemis you may also think about looking for a new therapist. They may not be a good fit

[@NenaLavonne]

Kati! You have such a kind heart and your videos are such a valuable resource for so many ♥️

[@Katimorton]

Awe thanks Nena :) xoxo

[@alysamorley3570]

I have therapy in a couple days and I am going to bring this up. I have been seeing her for 6 months and feel stuck, unchallenged, and frustrated every time I leave feeling like I wasted my time/money. Also, it often feels difficult to get her to talk about what I want/need to discuss that day. I don't expect every time to be amazing, but after so many months I want to feel like something is helping!

[@debbienpeters]

Alysa Morley all my counselor does is basically repeat back to me what I say. She says it cause people want to feel validated, it I told her I find it annoying. I have an appointment on Thursday, but I want to cancel. It is a waste of my time. I don’t get how this is helping me.

[@_just_TK]

Maybe it’s time to look for a new therapist

[@alysamorley3570]

@@_just_TK I agree. However, I am moving out of state soon, which is why I have not gone to another therapist in my area. Getting in to see someone new is quite a process, so I am waiting until I move. 😊

[@alysamorley3570]

@@debbienpeters I relate to that feeling!

[@MTech07]

I would like to know what your experience was. I'm feeling this way, but I don't know if it's my problem or that we don't have a connection.

[@hollygill1744]

Right know I feel too well to deserve therapy but not well enough to not go to therapy :/

[@_maia_m]

I've felt like that before too, but then I started to compare it with a physical illness and the treatment for that - they wouldn't stop treating you when you were almost well, saying you should be content with that. They would treat you until you were completely well. Just like they would also want to treat you as early on as possible, not wait until things got really bad. You deserve help until you're completely recovered!

[@megancushman405]

That's how I feel too >.

[@christianwehner5565]

I would question what it means to deserve therapy, why do you assume you do not where others do. It seems a somewhat arbitrary distinction, are you not suffering encourage, are others more fragile? Seems like a losing calculation however your slice it. No one deserves it, but if they can find it and it could help they should take it up.

[@rachaelsheldon1840]

Everyone deserves therapy x

[@Katimorton]

We don't have to be a certain level of "sick" before getting help.. I go to therapy off and on. I personally prefer to go before I feel terrible so that it's easier to deal with. It's like going to the doctor when you first get a cold instead of waiting until it's so bad you have to go to the ER.. you know? xoxo

[@altheaunertl]

There have been times when I felt stuck in therapy because I needed a different type of therapy. There are so many different therapies and specialties, sometimes you might just need a different mode of therapy. Edit: It was the best 'unsticking' I've ever had.

[@Katimorton]

Thank you so much for sharing!! Yes, finding the right type of therapy is so important :) xoxo

[@freshmo5967]

I'm afraid I need/ wantanother type of therapy too- but I just can't let go of my therapist, he's so compassionated and nice and I really trust and love him! :/ So afraid of losing him, so since I've started half a year ago I don't know what to do. But I know that the chemistry between the therapist and the client is so so important too, so I guess if I was in a different form of therapy but the therapist wasn't that kind, it wouldn't work for me either, I couldn't open up etc.

[@emilyjane6252]

When are you going to do a Ted Talk? Let me know where you will do one.

[@Katimorton]

Maybe later this year?? I would love to do one, but don't have any plans to do one right now. xoxo

[@emilyjane6252]

@@Katimorton YAAAAA I'm excited for that day I'll fly anywhere to see that.

[@chrisdab-]

You should wait till after we all get vaccinated. Ted Talks don't feel the same without a live audience.

[@yenved]

Good timing. I’ve been planning on quitting therapy this week. It just isn’t working. I’ve never really felt comfortable with her, either.

[@Katimorton]

I hope this video was helpful for you.. and I also have a video about how to know if you're seeing a good therapist :) That could help too! xoxo

[@yenved]

Kati Morton thanks. I have watched that video. It might have been before I started with this therapist. I’ll have to rewatch it.

[@AbstractMindsThinkAlike]

Kati Morton may I have the link for that video? Thank you

[@kristidurbidge530]

i wondered if i might possibly be stuck but this video made me realise that im not actually stuck and that my therapist is doing all the right things and that i am aware of the right things and that everything is moving forward, its just me struggling with how painful everything is and that pulls me back somewhat because its hard to approach, but i am approaching it, just slower. This video was very helpful, thank you.

[@_just_TK]

Kristi Durbidge ❤️

[@KimPosteryournewpenpal]

Thanks for teaching us how to be assertive in our appointments!

[@arealowl]

This video had great timing. My therapist isn’t challenging me enough.

[@alikitterman4387]

I felt stuck in therapy for SO long, but I think the biggest thing was that I had to let myself be cared for without the fear that something bad was going to happen.When I let her start caring for me, I trusted her more with the scary stuff, and didn't feel afraid to tell her things. My therapist was also VERY patient with me and my timidness towards therapy because of bad experiences, which helped a lot.

[@Hraesvelgr44]

I know that this has little to do with the video, but I could really use someone’s advice. I’ve been self-harming and having awful thoughts, and I need to tell my parents. I’ve been to counselling, but they don’t know the true extent to how bad that it’s gotten. Ever week or so, I have these horrible panic attacks, which only make me feel weaker, and feeds into the cycle. Any thoughts or replies would be greatly appreciated. Again, I do realise that this has little to do with the video, but I don’t know where else to go.

[@irena1222]

Are you still in therapy? If so, you definitely can communicate it to your therapist. And just to clarify, is it your parents who don't know the full extent of it, or your counselor? Also, if you feel uncomfortable opening up to your parents, I've felt the same way. I've also had trouble with self harm and have had experience with not being comfortable. If you are able to and are thinking about telling them, perhaps you can open up through a less direct means, such as texting. There might also be online therapy. I hope the situation lessens for you.

[@_just_TK]

If you are having a difficult time communicating with ur therapist, a good place to start is by showing them your comment

[@Keenan686]

stay strong. We will get through this storm together.

[@rosehope8053]

What helped me move forward very quickly was a challenge set by my therapist. She knows I love journaling and writing, so one day she asked me to write my book (life story). This was also a great way to bridge the weeks off we have before the next session. I was processing through so much and seeing the patterns and links myself. Even though I didn’t succeed in actually writing a book, the process was really helpful. Wouldn’t recommend it to everyone though because it can be overwhelming going through past events without any guidance. I was certainly overwhelmed as the perfectionist in me wanted to complete it ASAP (who writes a book within weeks, anyway?) but it was one way to “force” me to come to terms with the things I struggled with.

[@sajeedkabeer]

For me, I stopped showing up for my last termination session. Because I didn't feel like my problems or concerns were sorted. And it's been two years now and I will be having my last session the next week. I realized that therapy with my therapist wasn't working and so I finally have the courage to take a step to terminate appropriately and find another therapist to continue therapy. Any thoughts on this Kati?

[@milenaciaramella3524]

I loved this video so so much thanks 😊 💜💜💜all the way from Italy 🇮🇹

[@marionoschelmuller1718]

I changed therapists. Then that other therapist helped me with the thing the other couldn´t but the fist one was generally a better fit so I went back to him. Also honestly, you will just have times when it seems that nothings going but sometimes you just gotta stick with it for a little longer. Also just accepting and noticing that we are stuck for now. Then usually you will get unstuck. I find it really important if something went off the rails that the therapist openly talks to you about what shit they brought into the session and what triggered them so that I can understand and let go of my anger and even accept the hurt, because sometimes with countertransference as you call it itll be that the therapist doesnt know and wanna know what they contributed to the stuckness but its just important to admit that you are human and you messed up and why, that´s even like it makes the therapist more relatable. I don´t think it´s such a bad thing. Also you always talk about transference and countertransference as a bad thing and especially you will mention countertranseference as "the therapist getting their own shit in" and while thaat is one possible thing that can happen, it´s not necessarily a bad thing to experience transference and countertransference (used saying "the therapist takes on the role of the clients traumatizer to a certain degree"). Actually it can be used as a wonderful tool to heal. I recommend googling "transference focused therapy", it´s used to treat BPD.

[@daviasmith3753]

This is kinda an odd question but, how does one say goodbye to a therapist. The therapist I worked with through my school is not returning. I was thinking an email message? But what do I say?

[@_just_TK]

You might find these videos helpful! kzbin.info/www/bejne/iF7ClXmFaZhlrMk kzbin.info/www/bejne/gJyun5WAltilaZo

[@duck7237]

If you have found them helpful or a comforting support you should tell them this and thank them. They will really appreciate it. Everyone likes to hear that they've done a good job or that you'll miss working with them. Shoot off a short email!

[@Sovereign-Prax]

I was wondering how you would bring up or open up to your therapist, as an Austic person? Also how as an Austic person should go about trying to go about noticng if this is going on. As an Autstic person I find these typs of things extreamly difficult. As well I have traumer and PTSD, and was wondering if you could do a video or some videos for Austic people people in therpy and some stratergies on how to be more aseurtive with your theerapist? I really hope you can help in this regards. I really like your content and you videos.

[@_just_TK]

Sovereign Prax YES!!!

[@sarahmiller2851]

Dang I needed this today! I'm about to talk to my therapist in an hour and this is going in my third week of feeling stuck. I would also love to know where you got your top it's SO cute!!!!

[@Trevor_7777]

@KatiMorton, May All Your Dreams and Wishes are Fulfilled. I Wish you Heartfelt Wishes and Blessings Toward Your Way. I Pray That you Receive More Than you Have Hoped For and Ask For. I Pray That you Will Continue To Bestow Blessings Of Health, Success, Inspiration, Contentment, and Your Life. I Am Wishing you Many More Blessings Towards Your Way. #StaySafe! ☘️🍀I ask all of this through The Holy Trinity, Jesus Christ, Emmanuel, Jehovah! Amen! 🛐☦️✝️🛡😇👼🙏

[@AP-ex6qz]

You have changed my life for the better Kati. Thank you for doing all of this. Thank you helping all of us, selflessly. Love

[@_just_TK]

Anton Paulson ❤️

[@Katimorton]

Thank you for the kind words Anton!

[@MikeVeny]

Thank you for this video Kati. What are your thoughts on when it's time to find a new therapist?

[@marygrott8095]

I'm currently feeling stuck in therapy. I know it's due to the telehealth sessions. But my therapist shows no signs of moving sessions back to in-person. I do trauma therapy, but since switching to telehealth, we both agreed to put that on hold. Since I had worked through most of the difficult issues, in was ok with that. But, since there seems to be no end in sight to the pandemic, I don't see how I'll be able to work through my remaining issue. My therapist has already said she doesn't feel comfortable doing EMDR via telehealth. She has helped me through so much, so I don't want to find another therapist. Besides, there are so few in my area who do EMDR and take my insurance. I'm not sure how to address this with her. Any input would be apprexiated6.

[@_just_TK]

Mary Grott I know a lot of people are feeling this way. Unfortunately, we are in such crazy times right now and even though there’s no end in sight I promise you it WILL end & it WILL get better ❤️

[@siaorr8352]

Hey Kati, I'm Sia and I was wondering how to deal with bulimia on my own, my parents don't believe I have a eating disorder so they aren't helping me. what do I do? i feel like my ED is getting out of control. help. I don't know what to do. can you help me?

[@dooei94]

I went to therapy today and I had so much anxiety my therapist asked me if I was cold. 😖 I mean why ask that when you know I have avpd

[@_just_TK]

Pearly talk to ur therapist about it. U may also find this video helpful!! kzbin.info/www/bejne/oXypgoiHj9Kabqs

[@christianwehner5565]

Perhaps they were trying to give you the chance to express and not avoid it.

[@pmbluemoon]

I've definitely been stuck with a few therapists I've had, we made the mutual decision to have me try new therapist, so far so good. I didn't feel bad about it after we talked a bit about boundaries, how therapists help us, and one even said "I know we don't seem to be getting anywhere" and I said "Yeah, I've felt that way the past few sessions too." It's not that I didn't like them by any means, but one thing I've found out is that each therapist has their own way of solving problems, and if one doesn't work, it's OK to find one that can figure out what you need and they won't be hurt because I wanted to try something/someone else. I've met MANY awesome therapists, and I do miss some of them, but as far as getting the right treatment, it's really worth it to find one that works for yourself and not just stick to one thinking that's the only way therapy works. Love you Kati! Thank you for this great topic! 👍😁👏💪 Stay safe and well everyone out there 🥰👋

[@nikkimckay860]

Hello everyone and kati thank you for this video about feeling stuck in therapy I remember everything from my therapy last year with my psychologist I have only had 1 time in therapy I would go to therapy on a Thursday once a week as mentioned before I didn't properly understand what therapy was or what it was about I only knew my doctor told me I had symptoms of anxiety and depression first I was given medication for it but it got bad so I was put in therapy my psychologist was lovely she did everything right it was me I couldn't handle it I talk as much as I could take but sadly my time in therapy went badly because my psychologist said to seek comfort and support in friends and family as well as the help she gave me but I had no friends who would help lastly my family not close my full experience of therapy I was so anxious to share what was needed thank you kati for talk on therapy

[@selfhelpchampion9664]

Trusting long term therapeutic relationship is very important to challenge the deep seated issues/belief or there is a risk of dropping out of therapy. We need to go above the mind to solve the problem created by mind. Thank you Kati another useful video . I love your podcasts🙏🙏

[@lisasnoozy3749]

Wow Kati! You hit the nail on the head!! I have been with my therapist for 13 years and I definitely have been stuck twice recently! One was while quarantined and had to do online! I couldn’t connect emotionally! Since I could return to in person that’s been better. Then a few weeks ago. Something major tha reopened a major trauma in my life happened and I was feeling disappointed at myself and afraid she would be too, which of course is never true. I hid it for week. And I got stuck and it built up. I ended up telling it to my pastor when I meet with him weekly. He told me to tell her. I did the next session and of course she’s not disappointed. She thought I was strong and courageous!? She’s helping me get the resource and reports and everything. This video has so many wonderful tips and ideas! Thank you this helps!!

[@fallenangelart]

Kati- It is ever okay as a male to ask for a female therapist? As I have noticed in the past of therapists, when I have a male therapist, they tend to want to talk about sports, and I have about zero interest in that. Also when dealing with male therapists, I have a tendency to lockdown (I know, it is a masculinity issue on that half). But I can open up to women better than I am able to open up to men. I've thought about asking this to my therapist several times but didn't want to come off as misogynist or sexist. So in lieu of, I ended up not getting the best out of my therapy. I am fairly sure that there is a part of that is absolutely Freudian as I used to sit on the dryer and talk to my mother while she was working in the garage. Meanwhile, my father was always very stallard in our conversations. Love you, and love your channel, As Always.

[@_just_TK]

It’s TOTALLY fine to ask for a female therapist. You are the client & if you feel more comfortable with a female therapist than definitely ask for one.

[@maee1130]

Hey! I’m only 13 but, I do this thing where if I’m getting dressed I’m paranoid and think someone is watching me or brushing my teeth and showering I would feel paranoid. And I keep waking up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. Is this normal or should I get it checked?

[@_just_TK]

Mae E is it is causing u significant stress (and it sounds like it might me) than I’d look into maybe seeing a mental health professional

[@raizydudovitz7495]

This is helpful right now I am so stuck and I have a session in 15 minutes and idk what to do! Thank you so much for everything you do

[@_just_TK]

You got this!!! 👍❤️

[@ryannesumbry4130]

I’m in to become a mental health therapist can you please do a video on what to expect any tips, I’m 100%online and would appreciate you’re feedback

[@_just_TK]

ryanne sumbry Kati has an entire playlist on Being a Therapist! kzbin.info/aero/PL_loxoCVsWqyHKgaVlKKI6Rop25sNu12O

[@ambercastanho]

So insightful! You said it perfectly, ‘it’s a process not perfection’. It’s very easy to put pressure on yourself when you hit a rut in therapy, but mental wellness is a journey not a race. Everyone can feel stuck from time to time, but your therapist is always there to guide you. Brilliant content and so reassuring!

[@TheSugarTreatment]

Love this! Thanks for always bringing perspective to issues like these! 🤗

[@Katimorton]

Awe of course!! I am so glad it was helpful :) xoxo

[@TheSugarTreatment]

Kati Morton ☺️☺️☺️

[@lenablanc7162]

I've been with my therapist for many years now (OCD/ED.....). But now I'm searching for a new one. I know I'm stuck because in my head I'm already gone. She often said and done some stuff that really bothered me or made me angry. And now when we talk about the virus she doesn't take it serious. The things she says just makes me uugghhh. I think that's the last incident i needed to search for a new therapist. It's hard to start all over and have to tell your whole story again but I'm ready to try, because I can't really work with her anymore.

[@windsyDschultz]

I kinda feel like I’m stuck with my therapist and not making as much progress as I’d like. I really enjoy our sessions but it ends up more like a chatty friend session than therapy. She has helped me a lot with some issues but I don’t feel like I’m digging deep to get to the core of my problems. I’m scheduled to meet with a DBT therapist later this month so maybe I’ll get something out of that. But not sure where I’m at with my regular therapist who I’ve been seeing for about two years now.

[@MzMinnie789]

I felt super guilty for lying to my therapist. She was helping me with disordered eating and ocd and I was too ashamed to tell her I was going home and relapsing. I ended up being dropped from therapy because I got so anxious I missed an appointment (which you’re not allowed to do)

[@_just_TK]

Sorry to hear you’re going through a rough time right now. Any chance u can contact the therapist & explain you missed the appointment due to extreme anxiety and see if they will take you back? If so, be sure to disclose everything during the sessions

[@MzMinnie789]

TK I think the no missing appointments thing was because the therapy I got was through the NHS. So they can’t afford to have people skipping appointments. I also feel like I wasn’t putting in enough work, and I’ll maybe try therapy again when I’m ready to do the homework. I’m moving to uni in October and am planning on accessing counseling or support there since my compulsions may flare up with stress. Thank you for your comment x

[@collectingmoments352]

Oh my... this is exactly the video I need right now! Thank you! 🙌🏼

[@Katimorton]

Awe of course!!! xoxo

[@JamesWilliamColeman]

I'm in a bit of a rough situation with support at the moment. So, I get most of my support through Uni. I have a Mental Health Advisor and a Mental Health Nurse who comes in from the NHS. But I haven't been able to have proper contact with them since the lockdown started in England because my Uni was closed and therefore so was the Mental Health Department. I've only had phone calls every 2 weeks from my Mental Health Nurse and a few other things which I'll get into shortly. The only real support I can get from my Mental Health Nurse is just to have a check in and for them to give me goals like to keep up with my hygiene more and to sort out my sleep schedule. Stuff which isn't my main issue at the moment. I've been having many issues with friendships and relationships which have been triggering me the most. But we can't work on any of it till we see eachother in person. In fact, I don't even know if I'm meant to be working on it with him at all. I was made to believe that I spend a few weeks with him to find out what would be the best therapy option for me. We spent 2 weeks together and then the lockdown happened so it wasn't long enough. He has referred me onto an online Compassion Focused Therapy group but I haven't really been getting much from it. It's been very hard to keep up with any of the practices. And as CFT is an offbranch of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), it's not helpful because I'm not exactly the biggest fan of CBT in the first place. I've also been referred back to a service called Alternative Solutions, again by phone call. They are a service that, as it says on the tin, finds alternative solutions instead of traditional therapy. I was with this service at the start of the year but then stopped because I wasn't finding them helpful. But my Mental Health Nurse made me get back in touch. I have been given the same solutions as I was given when I worked with them the first time. Join some social groups, do some volunteering ect. Stuff that I'm not really comfortable with, I don't find solves my issues directly and is now much harder to achieve anyway as we're in a pandemic. This is also another call I have to keep up with. I don't like talking over the phone as it makes me more anxious than talking in person. So having these calls which aren't really making a difference and are just causing me stress and bother are exhausting me and making me feel worse and have less hope. I would actually much rather wait till my Uni reopens in September and I can have face to face appointments that will be meaningful with nothing else until then. Yes, I wouldn't have any support, but honestly that's how I think things are now. I don't know if there's anything I should be doing. Anyone got any advice?

[@lv9265]

Liking and commenting, so it gets traction. I hope more people see it. Unfortunately I don't have any advice for you right now. 😣 I hope someone from England is able to respond with suggestions.

[@_maia_m]

Have you tried reading any books that relates to the issues you're dealing with? It's not like it can replace therapy, but I have found it helpful just to learn more about what I'm dealing with, to understand myself better and judge myself less. I've read both workbooks and more theoretical ones, and both were helpful. If you haven't already done it, maybe it's something that could feel useful to you while you wait for therapy. I agree that there's little point in continuing those things that only feel stressful to you.

[@JamesWilliamColeman]

@@_maia_m Thanks for the suggestion. I'm not really much of a reader and haven't been given and workbook materials. Also it's probably only a month or 2 till I'll be back with someone face to face. If I had longer then might have been worth it but I think there's only bother waiting for now.

[@AcousticCoffeeJunk]

I stopped seeing a counselor I had been seeing for over a year in January and will be seeing a new one tomorrow. The previous one is great! I still recommend him, but I felt a limit was reached of how much he can help; stuck in a unique way. I learned and applied so much he taught me. He is also quite older mind you, (nearing 70’s). This new one I’ll be seeing is fairly younger... she seems to have a unique perspective to everything and came highly recommended... so this is a change of pace for me, if you will. . Nervous and excited al at once!

[@_just_TK]

Acoustic Coffee Junk you got this!! 👍❤️

[@AcousticCoffeeJunk]

@@_just_TK Thank you!

[@Mienarrr]

good luck! ❤️

[@hannahs128]

Hey Kati I love your videos and podcasts! I've been watching/listening for a while and you've helped me a lot! Thank you!!! Every time I watch your videos I can't help but wonder if your frog in the background has a name! Anyway, thanks for everything you do! I always look forward to your uploads as it helps me keep track of time! Also looking forward to reading your next book! 🥰❤️

[@haleyjoy1377]

I am feeling stuck but I’m confused because of #2 that the therapist might be too validating. My therapist rarely validates me at all

[@_just_TK]

Kati answers a similar question in this video! kzbin.info/www/bejne/boKXf4epr6-mm5I

[@emilyjane6252]

I think the best thing for me that has helped the best to not feel stuck in my recovery/therapy journey is to be honest with my therapist even though I am a people pleaser but, how is that helping my recovery in my eating disorder. It not going to help. Being honest is not being unkind but using assertiveness and also maybe the treatment goals might have to change with your therapy, it should be a collaborative plan between me and my therapist. I'm not sure that's just what I think.

[@emilyjane6252]

Thank you Kati!

[@brittanydavis7091]

Wow!! Idk how or why, but you legit post these videos and lately I feel like its hitting the core....

[@berniiequack]

I've felt stuck in therapy bc I felt like I was not advancing as fast as I felt I "should" be or as fast as I want to. I brought it up in therapy and we worked through it and found new ways to work through the matter at hand to allow some breathing room that was appropriate for me.

[@TheBlueClover2012]

Currently dealing with this in therapy. N when i bring it up, she mentioned that i can pause/stop the therapy if i want. What? I dunno y she came to that conclusion. I was asking for help to work through it. Last year i also bring this up n last time she asked me if i wud like to change to a new therapist. Again, why? I always feel like she doesnt get that i wanna work thru this TOGETHER. I feel abandoned.

[@starlitelemming6929]

Yep, definitely got stuck in therapy. Many times, with different therapists. Part of the problem was that none diagnosed my ADHD. I also found out that one therapist thought I had ASD (they were right) but never told me or talked about it. Bloody doctors.

[@saminarose80]

I’m stuck because my therapist doesn’t validate me at all! I’m so sick and tired of it and I’m feeling stuck in a rat wheel! I need the validation that my parent were abusive! I don’t understand why he can’t accept it!???

[@dr.padmas-pearlsofwisdom1476]

how many years experience in work does the therapist needs to have ideally?

[@_just_TK]

Kati has a great playlist on being a therapist! kzbin.info/aero/PL_loxoCVsWqyHKgaVlKKI6Rop25sNu12O

[@Martuszewski]

Thank you for your information and look forward to learning more about myself with your help.

[@jasonsands5881]

Thanks. These are great tips.

[@christinab.2864]

I’m still stuck in therapy I even brought a book from iTunes the cleaning house book a mother’s 12 experiment. It may have help my anxiety a little bit but not much if they a sociable component. Is there more to the story than what the mom did with her kids that were 8-14 years? I’m 27 not 14.

[@karolina8465]

Transference.... Oh yes, been there, managed to progress quite a lot against all obstacles, this one included. Very insightful video, now I have something to think about.

[@kavleenmarwah4373]

Really helpful tips, noted! I'm still in that phase of therapy where I struggle to deconstruct my negative thoughts and talk back to it. But after an episode I pick myself up and do the talking back when I'm not overwhelmed.

[@tinypocketspersonal7466]

This was a much needed watch. Less than an hour ago I had my last therapy session, I’ve realised that over the past few sessions with my therapist they’d been bringing their own private things into our sessions, which had made me feel guilty about sharing with them. Plus learnt that their other clients have been feeling a similar way (some have recently left). I’m going to miss having this space and support, but I guess this is a good time to get back into my journaling. Thanks for your input Kati x

[@melodyknight3716]

The thing that usually helps me most when I feel stuck or frustrated in therapy is reevaluating communication. Is there something I’m not communicating that I need to communicate? How can I communicate better? Is there a different approach that feels more comfortable? I’ve found that sending an email before each session with concerns and updates and thoughts on homework is sooo helpful for me. I don’t feel the pressure to remember and bring up everything in therapy, and it helps guide the session (and sometimes helps my therapist to prepare if she decides to!).

[@uniquelybeyou]

This was very helpful! Just recently got back into therapy. My regular therapist was available anymore because covid-19. So got a new person online...but 2sessions in always feeling very emotional leaving the virtual sessions...brought it 1st but this 2nd time the person got very motional in a question I didn't know how explain myself besides saying codependency issues...it made me upset b/c I expressed idk concluded the session my emotions again unrested...so seeing this and hearing about transference/cotrans and the other tips helps a whole lot. Thank you!🙏💚

[@alfredjoseph3052]

hi Kati, would you be able to talk about speaking anxiety? I don't mean public speaking, but speaking with strangers, friends, and small clusters. I find that I struggle with this and I really would love some advice on gradually overcoming it.

[@melissa7633]

Hi Kati. I'm really struggling this week. I have therapy twice a week for CPTSD from childhood and from my abusive marriage. I'm not making any progress! I have BPD and I hate being so isolated and lonely. I have moved into the spare bedroom to feel safer and to stop being triggered by my spouse... It's not helping one bit. I have nobody to talk to until next Tuesday when I Skype with my therapist and I am dying inside from loneliness! My spouse is quite Narcissistic and I suspect he has NPD to some degree. He doesn't really speak to me much and it's more of a roommate feeling. He blames me for any and all of our problems but refuses to let me go, promising to quit his job if I try to leave so that I will not get a penny! He's horrible to me and I've wasted 29 years of my life in this relationship! I have no friends or family anymore except for our 2 grown kids who I refuse to drag into our problems! I feel completely alone 😭

[@gardenshed6043]

My problem relates to anxiety. I just get paralysed, unable to talk. I can’t get anywhere in therapy because in therapy I have to talk. It’s an inherently flawed system and I have no idea how to move forwards.

[@NinaDreams81]

I am struggling a lot with what to do about my current situation with therapy. When I first started with my therapist, he was my DBT therapist. The structure of the weekly DBT group helped me progress a lot, but eventually I graduated from DBT and my weekly sessions have been talk therapy. The pandemic and my friendship group collapsing set me back to the point where my current issues and symptoms are worse than when I started. I feel like none of my deep seeded issues are getting addressed and my childhood experiences has largely been ignored. The lack of structure of therapy is extremely difficult for me as someone who is extremely introverted and awkward. I can usually open up if asked direct questions, but it is completely unnatural and awkward for me to unload my life's traumas without being prompted to do so. My therapist has suggested different modals of therapy he could try with me to which I agreed would be worth a shot, but then the next session it would be back to talk therapy as if the other modals of therapy were never brought up and agreed upon. And I'm finding it difficulty painful in telling my therapist this is not working. I'm also afraid moving to a new therapist will end up the same since my previous therapist also used plain talk therapy without structure, homework, or delving into the causes of my issues.

[@AboogieNY85]

I'm a therapist myself and I'm glad you made this video here. There were some points you mention here that stands out with some of my clients and I have some clients I spoke with about feeling "stuck" and what I can do to make things better to moving in the right direction. I'm always making sure that I'm covering everything my client came in for but also check in within myself to make sure that I'm providing the best quality care. Good video here :-)

[@Katimorton]

Awe thanks! I am so glad you enjoyed it :) xoxo

[@jeffvarley9792]

I liked this video...it was good. Thankyou for bringing this video to us.

[@norwallnorwall366]

I mentioned that I was feeling stuck to my therapist and she said she could no longer see me because she thinks DBT would be better for me..... so yeah....

[@amyli092]

This is such a great video, and as someone who's been seeing one therapist locally for a few years now, I can sometimes recognize when I feel stuck, or like I've run out of things to talk about. I'm not somebody who is comfortable being in the spotlight sometimes, and I appreciate that my therapist is usually very understanding of me and how I feel about certain things while still keeping the ball rolling in conversation when this happens. The big oof that I took away from this video, however, is if and when I do feel stuck, is there something else under the surface that I'm not addressing? Needless to say that I haven't been as open as I could have been in my last two sessions... there are definitely some other thoughts and emotions that I could really work on addressing. Thank you

[@VALangel104]

My therapist was challenging me too much. She would correct me on every session and say she didn’t like my language. I also felt some transference from both ends. She would treat me like her child and I would bow my head as if my mom was speaking to me. And, I felt very intimidated by her, like she would see my soft spots and instead of being gentle, she’d get all gased up about “figuring me out.” Told her I wanted to see someone else but didn’t give much details as of why because I’m seriously afraid of her.

[@chroniceverything]

I fill out a weekly diary card based on DBT principles and I find it very useful for myself (I keep them and it’s nice to look at old ones and have proof I’ve made progress-no matter how small on whatever the target was). I still do this & since we’ve been doing Zoom vs in person since March I email them to him. I said to him a couple weeks ago how valuable the cards are (and notes I take) but that I felt that too much of our hour together was spent talking about the past week, unless of course something major happened. I requested we keep that discussion to about 15 mins & spend the rest of it working through other things. He was super agreeable and I’ve felt more “satisfied” upon ending the session than in awhile. If your therapist isn’t agreeable to such suggestions ask why- maybe a deep problem is staring you in the face on those weekly cards and I’m just not seeing it. But like Kati said, he’s an individual I’ve hired & maybe that person isn’t the right fit, that could be another reason. I know most of us have some difficulty asking for things, but please try not to. Mine tells me straight up he allots 15 minutes the day we meet to go over anything I’ve emailed him. I can’t expect him to answer daily emails etc. I’m blessed to have found someone who I think we have a very good balance with, and in my years of therapy I’ve “fired” 3 different ones. So I urge all of you who’ve taken the brave step into therapy that you have realistic expectations AND who you click with. George could be perfect for your cousin who highly recommended him to you, but not the right fit for you. Even those of us at the mercy of Medicare & using county places & such- it can take longer but I’ve successfully asked for a different therapist (it was admittedly easier when I had my husband’s insurance before he had to quit to become my full time caregiver.)

[@terrybuchanan1]

hye

[@allanaloraine5370]

I have a friend who can't get over her break up from two years ago. They only dated a year and a half and she is obsessed with him. She thinks about marrying him so much that, even in her sleep, she dreams about marrying him. He doesn't ever want to be with her again and he even talks badly about her. He has blocked her and ignores her completely, so she reaches out to his friends and family. I want to be a good friend and I keep encouraging her to let him go. It's also draining because I feel we only talk about him all the time. Can you please do a video on holding on to relationships long after they have finished and how to get over that? Also, can you touch on how friends can support this kind of person. Thanks! I love your channel.

[@suzy508]

Does anyone remember a website where kati used to have people talk on? Am i crazy? Or was that a thing? If you remember let me know cuz i cant find it? What happened to it?

[@blazinbloke]

I agree with everything you say Katie. It seemed like I had to drag help from my therapist. I just don't think she understood narcissism enough even though she claimed to be a specialist in trauma therapy. After 10 weeks I gave up on her, I wasn't getting anywhere.

[@WhatsTherapy]

Great vid, thanks for sharing your experience. I'm new to youtube and making vids about mental health and similar stuff, and it's awesome to see what other people are sharing. Thanks again.

[@u4yk]

I tried that with my last therapist. He just told me to keep trying mindfulness. After a couple of weeks of this, I dropped him.

[@Mienarrr]

This is an interesting topic, thank you! I only ever went to one therapist for 1 1/2 years, almost twice a week. It was very intense. Mind you it was also more Childhood-reworking rather than therapy that helped with current problems. I suddendly felt it wasn‘t right anymore and making me more unhappy than happy so I stopped going. Now I feel like I wanna try a different approach to therapy. I‘d love to get homework and get some help on improving myself. My previous therapy was very intense and elightening but it always made me feel horribly drained every time I went there.

[@_just_TK]

Check out the different types of therapy & you can even have sessions with a few therapists to see which one is a good fit

[@nellamarkkanen6568]

Do you think it’s okay to go to therapy with a blanket? And wear a blanket in therapy if it makes you feel less vulnerably?

[@cheyenneoliver5835]

Is it possible that the reason you feel stuck in therapy could be because the problems you're talking about are things that can't be solved?

[@_just_TK]

Cheyenne Oliver 🤔

[@_just_TK]

Cheyenne Oliver sometimes therapy is a place to learn to accept the things that can’t be solved instead of trying to change them

[@rashelcotten8782]

What do I do if my therapist and Peer worker give me anxiety and it’s getting to the point where I don’t even wanna meet with them anymore but I like having them as a therapist and a peer worker? Like I don’t want to stop seeing them, they just give me anxiety. If that makes sense?

[@danielknott7447]

I often feel I'm not getting anywhere with therapy and then at times I've made big Improvements. I don't blame my therapist at all. currently going through a breakdown / breakthrough so feel like I'm making changes. I feel I haven't improved but if I look at my life now compared to 7 years ago (when I was a house bound agoraphobia living with my parents) to now living in my own home for 4.5 years and owning my own small company I have to see that I have made progress just not as fast as us suffering would like it to happen.

[@_just_TK]

Daniel Knott you may not be where u want to be but it sounds like you’ve made a TON of progress! 👍

[@danielknott7447]

@@_just_TK thank you. I guess I have I just feel like I'm behind others my age and have so far to go. I have to rember where I came from though and that now I'm doing this alone. anyone in therapy stay strong!!

[@duck7237]

Oh my gosh. You have made AMAZING progress. I don't even know you and I am super proud of you. That must have taken such hard work. Go you!! What an inspiring story. I hope that you continue to improve and have an amazing life. Something tells me you're in for a really good one!! Wishing you nothing but the best.

[@bluesky902]

Thanks Kati - just what I needed to hear.

[@Katimorton]

Of course! So glad it was helpful :) xoxo

[@haisesasaki3944]

You can use turkey fat to free yourself just like Joey. 😂

[@_just_TK]

Haise Sasaki OMG 😹

[@ולהקופיט]

thank you very much this video help me alot💕💕💕💕

[@emka198]

can we drop the word 'patient' in therapy. it sets a hierarchy in this connection. it implies sickness for clients.

[@patricknelson1471]

ok this is what i dont like about therapy just because i pay it doesnt mean its exclusively my time its not my time its nobodys time

[@kayleighdittemore8352]

time for a new therapist

[@_just_TK]

Ditto

[@TheHuber26]

So good Kati! I love learning from you. Challenged to take steps this week to work on where I find myself stuck. I know my mindset is the common place I get stuck the most. Focusing on regulating at present so that I don’t feel so stuck when I zone out in session. I’ve also started a shared calendar with my T for her to track my week. Coz I get stuck sharing the lows for some reason. Thanks for these reminders! I value you so much.

[@Katimorton]

I love the idea of starting a shared calendar!! And I am so glad the video was helpful :) xoxo

[@magdalenapolaris]

Thank you so much for this x

[@GoldenMushroom64]

Man I hate being a simp but you really are so beautiful Katy Morton.

[@SusieQ78]

Sometimes I think I'm stuck due to me not moving at the rate that I think I should (dissociation sucks). But then my therapist reminds me of my improvements and that we are trying different things. Looking at the whole picture, I've made a lot of improvements since allowing myself to start therapy.

[@Katimorton]

Yes! You have made so many improvements!!! And sometimes we just need to be reminded of them :) xoxo

[@SusieQ78]

@@Katimorton you have no idea how much you have helped me with moving forward :) xoxo

[@emilyjane6252]

Thank you for all the great tips Kati I appreciate it, it is good to remember when I feel like this in my therapy with my Eating Disorder recovery. Sometimes this happens to me.

[@Katimorton]

Of course!! I am so glad it was helpful!! We all get stuck sometimes :) xoxo