Feminine moments as a child

[@cary4603]

One of the most amazing character traits about you is that you are a critical thinker. You really consider circumstances beyond just how you feel. It’s an amazing quality about you Matt.

[@Topher_1986]

100%

[@stuff1784]

Heck yeah!

[@brickellrich1]

I’m surprised you weren’t cancelled for this. Bless you for saying the truth out loud. To say people have gone too far with the whole gender thing and utilizing puberty blockers on young children and even surgery at times is a tremendous understatement. Bless you for speaking out and for all your content.

[@fishbarbeque8540]

This is so real. That necklace story is SO profound. This is such a complex subject but you speak in such a clear way.

[@bamhit]

When I was a teen, I would pretend to be a girl in online games just to experience male attention. I didn't necessarily want to be a girl, in the same way you described in your video, but there were aspects of being a girl that seemed more appealing to me back then (they seemed to be treated better).

[@uselizard2.0]

and then you remember how just a 100 years ago it was the men that had it better for centuries. But eah, there are pros and cons to being born a boy or girl. Personally I am fine with being a man, though sometimes the wanting to be a girl moments are there lol.

[@Topher_1986]

I got this really shiny purple gem ring inside a Cracker Jack box and I thought it was dope. But my uncle made me give it to my mom as a gift. He really didn't want me doing anything feminine. He and I are VERY similar tbh. But he made sure to shut down all feminine aspects of himself at a young age.

[@teardropsdude]

You bring up topics that are very relatable, however, there are topics, such as this one posted, I try to forget or suppress. I grew up in a place and time when diversity was welcomed, at least when it came to race/background. I do not hate my childhood because I am happy and proud of the values that were instilled in me and what I practice today. I was exposed to different forms of biases. Between family, friends, acquaintances, religious beliefs/practices, and so much more, being "different" was an option as long as it did not involve being "gay", cross-dressing, men wearing makeup, or anything gay-related. I have feminine/sensitive traits, and part of me still wishes my "masculine" side was more visual. Did I want to be a "girl"? Yes. Made myself believe that if I was a girl, no one would question anything. Life is full of so many contradictions, and it's challenging to keep track of what is right, wrong, appropriate, etc. I am a different person now; happy with who I am and happy with what I trust can offer to partner, if/when that time comes. I will stop typing now. No one wants to read a novel.

[@justyngarza9258]

Oh my gosh I relate to you so much

[@adventuresofperseus945]

When I was 5 I knew I was a boy, until adults make u feel bad because ur hanging out with the boys. Or have my mom threatened to shave my head and when she didn't, I get yelled at told ima girl not a boy that was soul crushing. I was never the same after that. I thought mine was a phase but nope thisecfeelings always came back but each time harder to ignore or push away but here I am 35 and I finally feel like my outside matches how I feel on the inside. I feel almost like a whole person again like I did b4 that souk crushing moment. I always told my self maybe in the next life just to make myself feel a little better

[@MattMoore83]

I'm sorry to hear all about that! Sounds rough. :/ Society really needs to do a better job at telling us to be ourselves and not shun it!

[@xthecoalx]

Your story is so cute. The way society tells us what we need to be really sucks when raising kids, shoving masculine things on boys and feminine things on girls. And I totally relate to the “I want a boyfriend, I wish I was a girl”. I’ve never felt like a girl, I just had a little crisis because I felt like I was too awkward and not as attracted to girls, and I also had issues attracting guys. Lol

[@xthecoalx]

Also, commenting on if your parents were more accepting of feminine things, I don’t personally think it would have changed you too much. Maybe you would have some different hobbies or interests but for the most part i don’t think it would change who you are at your core. A child that young would never legally be allowed to have any permanent surgery and you would have been able to work through it. The process is very long for transitioning. Also, I’ve never heard about the negatives of puberty blockers, but I’ve also never researched it myself. What I’ve heard is that they’re harmless and totally reversible but 🤷‍♂️

[@great9800]

I hear you. Figure yourself out first and then do your thing.

[@jahidlm7910]

However, for me, it is not a phase. I always have a feminine side in me which is hard to deal with because being surrounded by conservative people makes me have a hard time expressing myself. I thought it was a phase but it's not. The thing that I do every day is always to remind myself to not let people change me and that is something that didn't let me surrender myself to people's expectations.

[@teardropsdude]

I have similar feelings and experiences.

[@kentwaters5903]

Just because a guy does things usually associated with girls doesnt mean he wants to be a girl ...like cooking, many of the great chefs are male...or painting here again many famous paintings are by men....go down to New Orleans and see all the men drunk as a skunk and wearing various color necklaces during Mardi Gra...and guess who are wearing earrings now and carrying man purses.

[@aliross2720]

No but childhood gender nonconformity is a good indication that a child will turn out gay or bisexual. When sperm fertilizes an egg at conception, the baby will be either female or male. This biology will influence hormonal exposure in the womb, as well as the child’s resulting gender identity. At about seven weeks, if the embryo is male, the testes will begin to secrete testosterone, masculinizing the brain. If the embryo is female, this process does not occur. This exposure to testosterone has a powerful effect on the ways in which male and female brains grow before the brain has finished developing in the utero. Testosterone exposure alters the programming of neural stem cells responsible for brain growth, leading to differences between the sexes. If testosterone levels during a critical prenatal period are high , the brain is organized in such a way that the person is predisposed to become typically masculine in a variety of gendered traits, including sexual attraction to females. If testosterone levels are low during that same time period, the brain is organized in such a way that the person is predisposed to become typically feminine in gendered traits, including sexual attraction to males. Bisexuality might result from intermediate levels of testosterone, although there is little direct evidence bearing on this. It could also be the case that their brains responded to these hormones in different ways. Neuroscientific studies have shown that the brains of lesbians are partially masculinized and gay mens partially feminized. Patterns of brain organisation appear similar between gay men and heterosexual women and between lesbian women and heterosexual men. Gay men appear, on average, more “female typical” in brain pattern responses and lesbian women are more “male typical”. Differences in brain organisation mean differences in psychology and study after study show differences in cognition between heterosexual and gay people. Gay mens brains are also structured like those of heterosexual females and lesbians structured similar to heterosexual mens. Gay men and lesbians on average are also gender shifted in aspects of body function that can be recognised by gaydar, such as gait and voice quality. Gay differences are are reflected in our psychology and the ways we relate to others. Gendered interests are predicted by testosterone exposure in utero. Higher levels are associated with male-typical interests and behaviours, regardless of whether the baby is male or female. These include a preference for mechanically interesting objects and systemizing occupations in adulthood. Lower levels are associated with a preference for people orientated activities and occupations. stemming from evolutionary roots. Women. who are tasked with the role of bearing children, evolved to be more sociable, empathic, and people focused, while men, as hunter-gatherers, were rewarded for strong visuopatial skills and ability to build and use tools. That's why science, technology, engerneering and mathematics fields tend to be dominated by men. Gay men and lesbians are gender shifted in a variety of male favoring-visuospatial traits such as mental rotation, targeting, and navigation, as well as female-favouring tasks such as verbal fluency and object location memory. Boys, are typically exposed to higher levels of testosterone in the womb, and tend to gravitate toward mechanical toys and ,mechanically interesting activities, like playing with wheeled toys, trucks and related occupations in adulthood. and being sexually attracted to women upon reaching puberty. A boy who is exposed to lower levels of is more likely to be female-typical when he is born, gravitating toward toys and activities that girls prefer, since girls are also generally exposed to lower levels of testosterone. He will also be sexually attracted to men in adulthood. Testosterone is needed to “masculinize” a prenatal brain; if that doesn’t happen, the child will grow up to desire men. The same can be said for girls who experience high levels of testosterone exposure. As shown in girls with congenital adrenal hyperplasia, even if their parents give them more encouragement for playing with dolls, they will still prefer toys typical to boys because greater exposure to testosterone in utero is associated with male-typical interests. Rough-and-tumble play, which is behavior typically seen in little boys, is less common in gay men and more common in lesbian women, due to lesser and greater masculinization of the brain.. Childhood gender nonconformity refers to sex-atypical behaviours, interests, hobbies, activity levels, and play partner preferences before the age of 12. 75-80% of boys demonstrating CGN will grow up to be gay or bisexual due to the prenatal environment and the extent to which hormones masculinized the developing brain. Pre gay children are gender nonconformists in a variety of traits, including phyisical aggressivness, engagement in rough and tumble play and sports, interest and peers they prefer the company of. Gay men and lesbians can also have gender shifted occupational preferences and also in instrumentailty, empathy, expressivness, and aesthetic/technological interests. Brains that are exposed to lower levels of testosterone, conversely, are more efficient at empathizing. Girls show a preference for socially engaging activities and occupations. This difference between children regarding preferences for people versus things is detectable within the first two days of life. Baby girls preferred looking at their caregivers’ faces and baby boys preferred looking at mechanical mobiles. Babies as young as nine months old have shown gender differences in the toys they choose. We also see the same behavior in our primate relatives, including vervet and rhesus monkeys. Despite lacking socialization from their caregivers or other monkeys, young female monkeys will choose dolls, and male monkeys will choose wheeled toys, similar to what is observed in human babies. No matter how much freedom a child is given, most will, time and time again, pick out gender-typical toys to play with and exhibit personality traits typical of their sex. If you try to force kids to play with opposite-sex toys when they prefer toys typical to their sex, they will be bored, or alternatively, will get creative. I’ve had parents tell me their boys, upon being given dolls, will swing them around mercilessly by the hair as though they are a weapon. Girls will arrange toy trucks into a family and tuck them into bed. A girl or boy who is gender-atypical will turn away from these cues if they're truly not interested. For gender-nonconforming kids who are bombarded with societal messaging about masculinity or femininity through movies and online games, they will say, “I don’t want to watch this,” or “I don’t want to play this,” and “Where are the ones for boys?” or "where are the ones for girls?" Gender-nonconforming girls and boys don’t need the world to tell them to be nonconforming; they will already be that way, from the moment they are born. No one is 100% male typical or 100% female typical and heterosexual people can be gender non conforming if they were exposed higher or lower testosterone in the utero, but homosexual people are generally more atypical than heterosexual people. Gay men are shifted in a female direction compared with straight men, and lesbians are shifted in a male direction compared with straight women. These are only shifts and not complete gender reversals, and they don't affect every gender trait. Gay men have at least some gender atypical traits(some more than others) but few have the entire package. Gay people remain gender typical in a variety of traits, especially those related to sexuality, such as their interest in casual sex. Similarly not all straight people are completely gender typical either. A study found that a minority of straight people share a predisposing factor with gay people of the same sex. It's lkely this predisposing factor is one that predicts gender nonconformity in childhood and/or in adulthood. It has been hypothesized that homosexuality results from inhereting a set of several feminizing genes. If this hypothesis is correct, the straight men who share a predisposing factor with gay men might be those who have inherited some of these feminizing genes, but not enough to make them gay.

[@eugeniocorpuz8338]

I played with my sister's dolls and tried on my mom's stilettos when she went out shopping.

[@eduedu267]

Between six or eight I was at the shoestore, I remember had to pick my shoes for school, there were a pair which got my attention, with really soft leathery style but had aproximate one and half inch heel, which was not masculine at all. Eventually the normal pair of shoes for an elementary kid were bought.😁

[@ahkiv6127]

Well said!

[@vickyvvvv8182]

It's scary that if you grew up in today cultural climate, you would be considered a "trans kid" and go straight to medicalization.

[@videovoodoo]

Here's my take... I totally get it in regards to the necklace thing, and the the BS gender rules. I grew up with one sibling, a sister, and totally resented the delegation of household chores. I had to clean up the stinky piles of dog crap, and had to take out the stinky garbage. My sister on the other hand, helped with vacuuming and dusting. WTF?? I played more with girls than boys up until about the 5th grade, simply because the boys didn't want anything to do with me. I was not by any means a sissy, but the boys could sense that there was something different about me and chose to exclude me. I never felt that I wanted to be a girl, I just wanted to be included in whatever I wanted to do. By 5th grade I was beginning to realize that my feelings towards other boys was more than "normal" friendship but I was not yet aware of what I was really feeling and wouldn't be for years to come. By the time puberty started, I had lost any desire to play or hang around with the girls, that was just sissy stuff. I don't believe for a minute that had your parents indulged you in the necklace wearing and were less strict about gender roles, that you would have developed any desire to really be a girl. I don't pretend to fully understand the Trans-gender thing, but I do believe it is, like being gay, a genetics issue and not a behavioral issue. Knowing when and how much to support children with gender issues is very difficult. Personally, I would not do anything "medical" before puberty.

[@stuff1784]

I respect you for not going trans and finding strength in your maleness! Your family really shoved gender roles on you. Mine did too. Luckily I am a girly girl so I never struggled with that. The women I like are always on the masculine side, so they *really* struggle with not fitting into gender roles. You definitely are a basic masculine guy. As a child wanting to be the opposite sex to present as a “straight relationship” with someone is very common for gay people.

[@chaallus]

I hear you Matt -- I usually keep silent on the topic because I know my views will stir up anger, but I don't believe any trans activity should happen until you are legally an adult. (I'm gay and consider myself a progressive Dem) Kids can be V E R Y persuasive and parents want to make their children happy, but I just don't think most kids are really prepared to make such life long and life changing decisions. (Just my view)

[@gator_Trey7_repper]

as masculine as I know you to be, I could still picture you running around in grandma’s necklace 😂 I got to think and see if I had any “moments” that I may have overlooked. Also, homework for GatorMan 🐊 LEARN THE PRONOUNS

[@GLB22042]

I really enjoy your videos. Please research puberty blockers and what may be done for young children. I'll also do more research myself. But I believe that responsible medical professionals do not do surgery on 10-year-olds. I also wonder if puberty blockers can be reversed.

[@Rage_Harder_Then_Relax]

Puberty blockers can be reversed. A lot of dumb people have opinions that they know nothing about how doctors etc, broach these subject through science. Something right wingers and bigots and transphobes can't get through their heads.

[@jeremiahallyn4603]

I thinks it's so silly and asinine that gender stereotypes are so prevalent in our society. It shouldn't matter what a kid enjoys doing, as long as they are happy and taken care of. I guess it's just the way it is in our messed up world.

[@rkn2800]

Thanks!

[@ratmon19]

People probably don't assume anything anyways, but I get it I'm not really that feminine and blend just fine, but deep down I'm so sensitive not the way that words hurt me but knowing how the world really is and you know what I mean, winners and losers in the world right? I think I knew which group I belong in not because of social stadius, it's no surprise of course people like me are more likely to care about others and really kind of dislike the so call norm group.

[@litomesina9155]

I’m a new subscriber and immediately developed a crush on you.

[@tcs9998]

Why are you single? What’s wrong with you man?

[@brandon17760]

Probably in a small area, not many gay guys, and plus he probably has a bit higher standards. Usually how that goes lol

[@zoozyg3108]

@@brandon17760 🤣🤣🤣

[@TheFelcardon]

You are too handsome ❤

[@Burak-go9pf]

And he could be even more handsome with that necklace😅

[@vwestlife]

I was with you until you suddenly veered off into anti-trans misinformation. No parent or medical professional is ever making snap judgements about a child's gender identity and the best treatment for them. It takes extensive psychological counseling for a person (of any age) to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria, and puberty blockers are only prescribed if the onset of puberty is causing a child so much trauma that it is leading to a severe decline in their mental health. About 80% of kids who take puberty blockers don't turn out to be trans, and gender-affirming surgery is almost never performed on anyone under 18, just like actual instances of trans kids playing on sports teams in school is exceedingly rare. Several states have passed laws banning it, even though they only had a handful of trans athletes in the entire state, or sometimes none at all. In the time since you made this video, I hope you've realized that MAGA politicians weren't going to stop with just their anti-trans agenda. Numerous "Don't Say Gay" laws have been passed since then banning all discussion of sexual orientation, even up into the college level, and depending on the outcome of the next election, we may very likely see marriage equality overturned and many states banning same-sex marriage, just like what happened with Roe v. Wade.

[@tommywhite4553]

With all due respect Matt, and I mean that because I do love your videos, I believe that the best people to advocate for trans kids, and to discuss what’s healthy or not for them, is the trans community itself together with the medical profession. Only they know how to approach this matter with firsthand knowledge together with hard scientific data. I don’t think it’s appropriate for politicians nor non-trans people like yourself to get involved unless you’re willing to talk directly to trans people, understand the challenges they face, and study FACTS about their lives with the goal of supporting their community. If not, please refrain because it’s not about you and your non-scientific opinion.

[@jahidlm7910]

That doesn't mean people can't express their opinions and it's up to people to take it or not

[@MattMoore83]

Tommy thank you for watching. I respectfully disagree with some of your statements. The medical and trans community are increasingly dividing on these subjects I brought up. I have done a lot of research back in Academia and even wrote a paper on the struggles of transwomen. I am a proud supporter of the trans community -- however, I don't blindly support every detail such as the specifics on transwomen in sports and transitioning at young ages. I don't expect str8 folks to blindly support gay men on every aspect. Regardless, anyone has their right say whatever they chose to just as you have done. Thank you for your post, Tommy.