Fi’s fight back - anorexia recovery on appointment day

[@cindylee7319]

Hello Fiona. I don't have anorexia, but I do have GAD (general anxiety disorder) and C-PTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder)...so I really do understand the anxiety & fear. Some of my worries are absolutely ridiculous, but it doesn't stop me from being anxious. So we do have some things in common. Thank you for sharing your story today. It really, really helped me as well. You were very encouraging!! Just know that there's this person over here in the U.S.A. who is supporting you every single day. I'll end with one of my favorite quotes, so you can remember that we are indeed courageous!! 😍 "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.”

[@dianemitchell5363]

Dear sweet beautiful Fi - your strength amazes me! I am so incredibly proud of you!! Started following you on Tik Tok right before Christmas and I check in on you every single day! Always remember you are not alone...you have your "Fi Fighters" all over the world! 💜💜💜

[@madelinelowney3083]

When things feel wrong/overwhelming, I try to class then as "towards" or "away" moves. As in towards your goals and values, or away from them. Sometimes that is a nice way to distance yourself from the emotions of them and keep on track. You're so insightful and I love these videos btw. Future you will be so proud of current you for fighting so hard.

[@ArmaOperator]

Two things that helped me with those thoughts and anxiety after eating were the following (as taught by my psychiatrist at the time): Visualise a stop sign as SOON as the thoughts come in the brain. In the beginning the stop sign would go up every 5/10 seconds for ages and ages, but over time the stop sign was needed less and less. This is a CBT technique to break thought pattern habits. Also, when feeling super anxious count back from 5. It can help snap you out of that anxiety. Sorry I know this is totally unsolicited advice, and please ignore if it’s not right, but just in case it helps, these two techniques just helped so so much for me.

[@nicolagwatkin2137]

Fi I’m so proud of you watching you the last couple of weeks, keep going don’t give up. There will be harder days. I found a quote and thought of you “recovery is full of ups and downs. There is no such thing as a linear life.but you can always turn your setbacks into setups and come back stronger” Britney burgunder xx

[@BrandiBcrazy]

Ohhhh when you said “you know what, I’m proud of myself for having that bar”… you are healing, you are changing and growing into who you are meant to be. Sooo much love to you. You are loved more than you know! We need you here!

[@gosse1km]

I love watching your videos. My struggle is different, but also involves forcing myself to do things my head screams at me that I can't or shouldn't. Every time you cry, and then still eat your meal, or still do your challenge, and just keep going, it inspires me to push myself to go just a little further than the day before. It reminds me it's ok to cry as long as I don't quit. YOU inspire ME.

[@MintGamezYT]

You are wonderful. My struggle is entirely different from yours, but watching you fight tooth and nail to tackle yours head on gives me motivation to do the same. I check your pages every morning to follow your journey and want you to know I’m grateful for you. Keep doing the next right thing, we’re all behind you ♥️

[@mystiwalker7629]

You are absolutely amazing! My daughter and I watch you daily! We love you so much! We talk about how strong you are!!!

[@teainortakoy]

Does anyone have Fi's PO box address please as I'd like to send something? I don't have any other social channels. Proud of you Fi

[@hannahvictoria1126]

Just found it! Fiona Hollings PO Box 1670 High Wycombe HP11 9PP

[@teainortakoy]

@@hannahvictoria1126 Brilliant! Thanks so much for this, really appreciate it.

[@tootsla1252]

Darling Fi! Look what you have done! You are still home! The struggles you’ve pushed through. The milestones you’ve crushed. The voices in your head that you have shoved aside. You are going to get there.

[@lyndaalexander6582]

I’m so proud of you, Fiona. You’re fighting so hard! Stronger each day!

[@juliebergeron2138]

You can do hard things,...you are winning!!!

[@camkelly7900]

You are absolutely glowing!! This moment is the only one we will ever have, you are so brave 💕 keep on fighting!!!

[@anne-fleurvanharen6614]

I am so proud of you! Thank you for taking us with you on your journey

[@slhart]

I can really see your strength coming through in this video. You're doing this. You're killing it. You are getting there!

[@kassidynickerson7064]

You are doing an incredible job! So proud of you. Despite not having the outcome you wanted from the appointment, you decided to keep going and fighting. That shows so much strength and determination. One thing that helps me when I’m feeling really low and upset with myself (I don’t suffer from an ED but i thought it might help, and if not then that’s 100% fine it’s just a gentle suggestion) is to write down tasks that I want to do - in the morning. They can be really simple things, for me it’s something like: brush my teeth, wash my face because I have bouts of depressive episodes and find it hard to do simple tasks. Then at the end of the day, make a list of everything you’ve done that day. It really helps you feel proud of yourself instead of looking back on the day and seeing it as a “bad day”. All the best Fi💗

[@sarahgray5150]

Here from TikTok! I’ve seen a huge change in you! Keep going girl! Xx

[@katharinakurz1178]

You are such an inspiration! Watching this gives me so much strength. You are amazing. Thanks for sharing - you are not alone, dear!

[@charlotterose2989]

Thank you for sharing your life and journey with us Fi. As someone the same age struggling with anorexia, I don't feel so alone watching your videos and it's helped more than I can say. Your voice is comforting and I feel as though I have a friend fighting along with me ♥️ sending lots of love and light, stay strong 💪

[@christinemorgan5278]

You are doing great,even your voice is stronger, now that you are giving your body the fuel it needs . Keep going Fi.

[@AliciaChenaux]

I think you are absolutely marvelous, and I am so proud of you for doing the right thing, even if it is hard. There is a quote I like that says "Always go with the choice that scares you the most. Because that is the one that is going to help you grow." That's what you're doing every day and you should be SO proud of yourself for it. Even if you do it with tears sometimes, you're doing it. Keep doing it. 💚

[@tootsla1252]

Then there’s the quote “Make the Choice That Feels Like Freedom.”

[@livinglifetothefull247]

Hello Fi, you’re saying the right things to yourself, and you do have to keep going, I understand it is uncomfortable, I was thinking , I don’t know if this will help you, when I was where you are, one of my support workers suggested I made a scrap book and in the front stuck pictures of what I wanted to achieve and get back to eg dog walking, back dancing, back on my bike, attend a friends wedding, then in the back I stuck photos in of when I achieved them And took it out at meal times when I was struggling to look at /remind myself of the things I wanted to achieve. (Hope that make sense)

[@xristinas2767]

Omg thats a wonderful idea! I wish you are well and happy ☺️

[@whatsthestorymorningglory61]

Yes, please, be proud of yourself for eating that bar! That was a huge win!

[@Finding_Fi]

Aww thankyou so much love!

[@mojcapokraculja5416]

You look so much better ... keep going FI ...sending you all the stranght you need from Slovenia

[@clarethomas1677]

I remember my sister going on the same journey you are on. She was so brave and fought back to recovery, you will too I fully believe in you. Be brave, be bold and you get Fi back 💞

[@Kellyirish75]

You are such an amazing person Fi! You are so strong, brave, and extremely inspiring! Keep up the great work, i know you will get better everyday although i know it is hard, be easy on yourself, you are doing wonderful 😋🍀

[@jessami3692]

Hey Fi, hope you are doing ok today. I recently discovered your channel and respect your positivity and determination to succeed and fight for your life!!! Not sure if you ever watched any of Elzani’s you tube vlogs but found it so interesting that she was so stuck in her patterns up until the point her mum was diagnosed with cancer and she had to step up. The focus was suddenly off her and her eating disorder as she had more responsibility within the family to help out someone else to think about other than herself. Not judging you at all, just found it so interesting that when individuals actually have to take a back seat during their recovery and put others first, eating a ham sandwich no longer seems all that difficult. It puts life and love in perspective. Anorexia is a very selfish disease, believe me I know, as a sufferer I am well aware we (ourselves) are the only ones who decide to recover, decide to eat more, decide that weight doesn’t matter as much as living does. So choose to live, hug a tree daily, find a reason other than food to want to live and thrive and succeed. As everyone always says, food is just for fuel to get us through the day, life is so much more than 3 meals a day plus snacks, life is family and heartache and love and excitement and fatigue and exhilaration from exhaustion. Keep fighting, recover and more on….you will always have bad days where the voice of anorexia will be heard above our common senses but there will also be days where anorexia says shit all and Fi says she’s had an awesome fantastical, fun filled, happy day!!! Xx

[@julieormiston8661]

We are ALL cheering for you. You deserve to overcome. Lean on us if you need kind words or support.💖

[@20so]

YAAAASSSSS we love to listen to your final monologue!!! Be PROUD you are that bar, that’s amazing 🥰🥰 Do the next right thing!!!

[@20so]

*ate, lol

[@lorenspath6538]

Hi Fi! You are doing great. I get angry and frightened when eating certain foods as well. It can be very scary. Hang in there, and stay strong. Love,Loren

[@debbiekwak5502]

It made me so happy to hear you say that you were proud of yourself for eating that bar! Keep pushing harder towards the next right thing 🧡

[@ashleywithers2969]

“the Next Right Thing” is an amazing song from the Frozen 2 soundtrack! It’s a mantra of Kristen Bell for when her depression was taking over in her life and all she could do was the next right thing.

[@DarthRay1969]

Fiona I do not have anorexia. I can not imagine your struggle. But one hour at a time small goals and then one day at a time soon life time goals. Sending you love from Alabama.

[@carriep5967]

You are amazing ! You can go this! 1 hour at a time!! You go Queen!!

[@emmy.vosper]

I relate to you so strongly, thank you for reminding me we can do it

[@Thelandoftoaster]

I noticed the switch to ham. Proud of you! ❣️

[@glynis7970]

Fi,can I just say I don’t think those hours were wasted,they must have been horrendously hard and made you cry which is awful but listening to you I feel you did get something positive. Your voice sounded stronger and as if you had a lightbulb moment,I really hope that’s the case, I also hope that at some point you realise how amazing you are 💐

[@mariajoseespinosa6576]

You are doing so well! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🌼🌺🌸💕💕💕💕💕💕

[@BuinidhMoChridheDoAlba]

You are doing amazing! It's extremely hard, but think about how you have come so far, so quickly. The anorexia is so strong, because you are doing so well. You're not better, but you are heading in the right direction. You felt proud of yourself, that is massive

[@mommyamy123]

Just keep going do the hard thing. I promise once your on the other side of this that voice will no longer control you.

[@hannahgoodell5931]

Fiona, you are so incredibly strong and resilient. I have full faith that you will reach the amazing life recovery will give you. You will bloom into yourself and you'll be able to knock anorexia down on its back. I've been through the struggle myself, and sometimes it seems that the life afterwards without anorexia is not promising, but that's the anorexia: IT IS LYING to you. It's going to be hard, but I promise you the freedom and jubilation you will experience when you are free from its reigns will last a lifetime. You can do this. Love from, Seattle ❤️

[@sarahgray5150]

Rules are there to be broken darling!! Keep going!!

[@jesster1111]

You’ve got this Fi! There is another life waiting for you at the end of this. Spending hours agonizing over a protein bar, being wheelchair-bound, the extra body hair…all of that will follow the anorexia once you’ve kicked it to the curb. A life without all that is a life worth fighting for. 😘

[@AmeliaHills35]

A piece of advice that helped me is that the feelings will get to a point where you think it will never end and it is is going to get worse but it will end it will reach a peak and it won't get any worse, the feelings will calm down over time slowly but surely. Just keep the faith! You are so so brave and we are all soo proud of you ❤️

[@nicolaoffert4006]

What an amazing girl you are ! You are showing such strength and determination. You should be so proud of yourself. Go Fi ! 😘😘👏👍

[@hannahvictoria1126]

I'm so proud of you, you are doing so great! 💓

[@kerrymayhall8900]

You got this!!! You have such a beautiful smile and even when you are struggling you fight through and your smile is YOU fighting through your ED!

[@mentalhealthwithalana]

Ah Fi, I am so proud of you! You are so beautiful and amazing 🥰 I can relate to what you are going through so much, please know you are not alone ♥️

[@LornyLuPots]

Thats your new quote, do the next right thing. Remember that before eating :) x

[@bageraghty]

You're doing amazing, one day at a time 💪 You will never walk alone, we are all behind you Fi all the way 🥰🥰

[@laurajakos5425]

Keep moving forward. You are stronger than you feel you are sometimes. I believe in you and am proud of you - even as a stranger from a different country. You’ve got this.

[@kyleehalley4085]

You are a very strong person and it's amazing how far you've achieved. Just know that you'll get through this. I know it's gonna be hard sometimes we might stay in the same place before we start moving forward again but that doesn't mean we go backwards. Just keep moving forward you will get there!! ❤

[@tiffanymenendez4579]

Keep up the hard work !

[@ksabat9]

You are amazing! I'm so proud of you for realizing that bar was the next right thing to do. You've got this, Fi!!

[@nickidouglas4802]

Fi - wow your video brought me to tears. You sis are so strong! Do the next hard thing. You can overcome this. I wish i could meet you and give you a big hug!

[@kristenmullen897]

You deserve to enjoy eating. You deserve to feel at peace. You deserve to just be. I love the strategy of just focusing on the next "right" step. Keep it simple and keep moving forward. You will get there.

[@wendymcgeehan6421]

I'm proud of you, Fi. You're doing the right thing. We all believe in you....we really do. Much love to you

[@traceyrommel1847]

You aren’t alone! We are here for you! 💗

[@brigittemcclure4099]

Sounds like you had a tough day. I’m so sorry. BUT, you kept going!!!!! That’s amazing! The next challenging meal change will be less challenging because you kept going and didn’t listen to your anorexia. One hour at a time!! You’ve got this!! 💪

[@fish97826]

You can do this, my sister dealt with the same ilness and it is absolute hell, you've come very far and worked hard, don't give up

[@kenziehieber6111]

Hi Fiona, You are such an inspiration. This seems insurmountable now, but in a few years, it will be behind you. Keep being brave:)

[@weiying_alber]

Hi Fi! I love how strong you are 💖 I just wanted you to know that you’ll become even stronger every day and I’m fighting with you. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and I relate so much with everything you feel. I’m slowly getting better ❤️‍🩹 and you’ll get better to, even when anxiety and fears try to pull us down, we’ll rise up and shine ✨ Sending you a big and warm hug 🤗

[@nicolacraghill4357]

I am so proud of you, you are stronger and braver than you’ll ever know, you are amazing and I felt all the emotions with you, sending so much love and courage to you ❤️❤️❤️ xxx

[@NightmasksHaven]

Sending you love!! Keep going ❤️❤️❤️❤️ 7 months will go by so quickly. You can do anything you put your mind to!

[@panicdisorder6108]

I’m rooting for y❤️

[@valnc1232]

So proud of you 👏🏻. You are stronger than you think. That’s a very pretty outfit. Love and prayers 🤗

[@elizabethdunkley5630]

You got this girl!! I’ve been watching you for some time! Super proud of how far you have come!

[@kerrie-anndalsanto973]

You go girl, do it for Hugo ❤️

[@cassiesmith8828]

Stay strong Fi! Keeping moving forward! I believe in you! ♥️

[@zipporaabram1365]

Fiona thank you for sharing your struggle. Stay strong! 💪🏼

[@J3an3ttak]

Heck yes! Go Fiona, you can do it! Great motto!

[@mrodriguez9324]

Beautiful you’re doing amazing 🤩 and just like one commenter said in a comment below… you go get Fi back because we can’t wait to meet her.

[@luckyfairfax4890]

You got this girl 👧

[@jul62187]

Keep up the amazing work! Take it one day / one hour / one meal At a time!!!

[@phoenixashes0013]

Keep fighting for that Fi who gets to chuck that wheelchair in the bin!

[@meikedebruijn6971]

Im sooo sooo proud of you!!!!!!

[@sandee1000]

Good for you to take the risk

[@cedgson91]

So proud of you 💕

[@donnabattistoni3076]

Wow your so strong such a hero! Have you thought about juicing ? Great way to get nutrition vitamins and minerals that we all need . just a though if you can do that. I couldnt for a long time simply cause i hated veggie juices taste. I mean liquid carrots eww lol but it really helped once battled my way to the point i could . i am so glad you are such an insperation to well everyone. Thank you

[@noviewings]

You are doing so well tacking these MAJOR emotions! What do you mean when you say that bar didn’t “fit in.”

[@alirode4958]

Do the next right thing and just follow the plan.

[@ArmaOperator]

Have you fully accepted that you will gain weight? I know that might sound like a silly question, but I was in a similar situation where I didn’t progress because I felt fine. But it wasn’t actually because I felt fine, it was because although I knew I had to gain weight, I hadn’t accepted that it would happen. Part of me somehow imagined I could get healthy and not gain weight. It wasn’t until I really honestly accepted and visualised my weight gain that I could make that more real and less superficial step towards recovery

[@jennifercarrillo1277]

🥰😇

[@sophieh4000]

Your plait looks super silky 😍

[@Samardemami]

Hey fi can you tell us where you get all your cute positive dishes and cutlery from? Love you and your channel btw

[@crushingmystress_asmr]

❤️❤️❤️

[@robinteneyck6603]

Would love to send you things where or what is the PO Box address. I'm in the US

[@NinasHere4U]

Eat another bar tomorrow, take control and show anorexia that you are in control

[@thewhitecrayon2668]

You are doing amazing!!!! Just remember you have people rooting for you and have people who care about you MUCH more than the false comfort that ED provides! I do want to remind you that saying you shouldve done this and you should've done that may not be helpful since you can't change the past but what you can do is keep moving forward day by day, hour by hour♥️♥️ PS I'm soooooo sorry if ANYTHING I said was triggering I love watching you kick this ed's ass and get Fi back! It gets better❗❗❗❤️‍🩹

[@droppingtheweight]

I am so proud of you!! Your journey has been keeping me on track and finally pushed me to seek out help. You are amazing and keep pushing forward don’t stop pushing to meet your goals. One moment at a time.

[@plumenommershpadoinkle7575]

Thats amazing!!!!! Super well done 👏👏👏👏👏

[@ronigold2379]

You deserve this! You are worthy! You matter!! You can do hard things! You are loved! You are strong!

[@Daisysin100]

You are absolutely amazing 🤩 you are not alone absolutely not alone. Perhaps you could drop the ‘big change’ to just change - change is good because it’s improvement. I think you understand the situation and you’re making changes and taking action. you’re absolutely amazing 😻

[@yolybri3095]

Dear Fi, besides your care team making the meal plans etc, are you getting therapy? I mean psychotherapy? Because those thoughts, and rules and anxiety need as much attention as your weight. Sending you my love ❤️ you are a warrior, keep going!

[@allisonhamilton1245]

Those are always hard days. Looking in the metaphorical mirror and being honest with one's self is truly hard. If you allow yourself to go through the hard days you will find that they stop being so hard and are fewer and farther apart. Please remember the people in your life do not want you to disappear because you are worthy .

[@henrygartley2135]

We are all rooting for you Fi. I wish I could take your pain away. I know you will continue to do The Next Right Thing. You will win.

[@aliflanagan7669]

You are doing the right thing

[@charlottsie2187]

I'm proud of you for managing your bar and your dinner! Well done Fi, keep on doing the next right thing

[@SuperKellie77]

I’m so sorry your going through this! Don’t listen to the voices in your head.

[@bethbeck600]

You are beautiful n u r doing amazing one moment at a time. You got this 😘